Finding the Pieces
by x0-vindicated-0x
Summary: He felt obliged to get involved; he stayed on a promise to the one girl he didn't want to let down. But accepting the situation as nothing more than a bump in the road... well, that one was all up to him. -Dasey-
1. Making it Big

**Yeah, so this is my new story, if you couldn't tell already. It's going to have a large family-ish mood about it, so hopefully you guys will like it. Like I said in the beginning of my last story, this starts out as a cliche, but I can assure you that, once again, six or seven chapters in, the plot will change drastically. This chapter has alot of description, but bear with me, here. The plot will begin to pick up, soon. So without further rambling, aside from the disclaimer and title, I give you my newest story- "Finding the Pieces". **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter One: Making it Big**

If anyone had told Derek Venturi in high school that he'd one day be at the top of the most successful record labels in North America, he would've laughed his ass off, and told you that his future lay in either hockey, or film-making. But at age twenty-four, he was one of the top executives of one of the hottest record labels in both Canada and the US, and he was damn proud of it. He'd started out with D-Rock, when they'd attempted to send in their demo to one of the corporate leaders. It had been a joke, really, and Derek could've admitted that at the time. D-Rock was never going to make it past school concerts, and talent shows. But it'd been worth a try. But Derek had gotten around to talking with one of the higher ups, and eventually, it had led to him being offered an internship.

Amd now, after several long years of dedication, he was proud to be able to say that he was fully in charge of recruiting new bands, and promoting things such as concerts, and CD releases of the bands that were already hitting the top of the charts. It was also on his shoulders to ensure that publicity was kept at a positive and steady pace, so that no rumours or lies got carried out of hand, and ruined the reputation of any of their bands. There were some days that he did regret not going into a career in hockey, or going to school to study film-making, but ninety nine percent of the time, he loved his job. He got to meet lots of new people, he was well known in the music industry, and the pay was definitely worth it. He knew that, even if he were to quit his job right now, he'd be set for a good twenty years. His job was extremely well-paying, but Derek was smart with his money. He always put the same amount of cash from his paychecks into a seperate savings account, just in case he ever needed the money for an emergency. He had learned not to overspend on stupid things, and it had all paid off in the end. He had a huge apartment all to himself, in a fancy suburban apartment building in downtown Toronto. He had a top of the line car that he absolutely loved showing off, and on top of all of that, he was happy.

On that particular day, he was sitting at his desk in the office, reading through a newspaper article that one of the papers in Alberta had published the day before, claiming that one of the lead members of one of his bands had been involved in a drug scandal. An agent in Alberta had faxed the article to him late the night before, and he had just received it. He was used to this sort of thing; people loved drama and scandals, and when an opportunity popped up to smear some celebrity's reputation, well... they never missed a beat. But Derek was good, and he always bounced back quick, usually managing to cover up the story within a few short hours of it's release. He had always been stubborn, and it definitely paid off now

"Bullshit," he muttered, as he ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a frustrated breath. "Absolute, and total bullshit. I doubt if McKennon's ever had a drink in his life, let alone get mixed up in drugs."

As he sat there, contemplating what his best option was, the phone next to him started to flash, and he rolled his eyes, sighing as he hit the button that connected him to line one, and he spoke directly into the receiver.

"Yeah, Paula?"

"Your fiancee is here to see you," came the voice of his flirtatious, yet cute and reliable secretary. "Should I send her on up?"

Derek rolled his eyes as he pushed the faxed article off to one side of his desk, deciding to return to it later, once Vanessa was gone. She always got moody and sooky whenever his attention was not focused completely on her, and although that often proved to be annoying, he guessed that he could sort of understand where she was coming from. She was one of Canada's hottest solo artists, and she was used to everything being about her, and everyone watching her every movement like a hawk. She was always the center of attention, and she expected the same to be held true in her relationship with Derek.

So he pushed away anything that might distract him from his fiancee, and mentally prepared himself to act upbeat, alert, and interested in whatever Vanessa had to say to him. Because, if she was talking, it just _had _to be important; or at least that was the way Vanessa seemed to see it. He didn't mind, of course. Everyone had their flaws, and he supposed that he would just have to accept them as a part of her, and love her for it anyway.

"Yeah, Paula," he said, sighing as he ran his fingers through his hair gently. "Tell her to come on up."

He hung up his extension, and two minutes later, there was a quick knock on his door, and it came swinging open, revealing a beaming Vanessa. She was medium height, with blonde hair past her shoulders, and light blue eyes. She was absolutely gorgeous, and most girls would die for her beauty, not to mention her money, and her fame. The girl was an absolute hit. She had released her first album the year before, and her first single had immediately gone to the top of the charts. It had been a crazy roller-coaster ride of sold out concerts, CD promotions, and autograph signings, ever since. Derek had been the one promoting her when she was on the road on her tour, and throughout all of it, they'd bonded. Well, to be more specific, they'd gotten drunk on their tour bus somewhere between Alberta and British Columbia, and slept together, but they didn't really share that part. They'd wound up dating after several days of awkward silence towards one another, and Derek had proposed to her about six months back. They hadn't even been together that long when he had proposed, but her parents had sort of pushed the idea, and he did love her. It only seemed right, he supposed. At least, that was what he told himself every single day.

"Hey, baby," she said, closing the door behind her as she balanced two coffee cups, and a small box from the cafe up the road. "I had my bodygaurd pick us up some breakfast."

Derek stood up, and made his way out around the desk, frowning slightly as he wrapped one arm around her waist, and glanced down at the items she had just placed down. His eyebrows furrowed together, and he looked back up at her, his eyes uneasy.

"Is that the same bodyguard that got my order wrong the last seven times you brought me breakfast?" he asked, feeling slightly worried. "Because... I mean, the dude's a cool guy and all, but he doesn't seem to understand that I hate blueberry bagels. Plain bagel with butter. What's so hard about that?"

She laughed, placing her coffee cup down, and she wrapped her arms around his neck as she shrugged her shoulders, smiling up at him.

"I don't know, but stop your complaining and kiss me already," she said, and without argument, he leaned down to press his lips against hers. He held her a little bit closer, and pulled away after only a quick moment, yawning to himself. He wasn't much of a morning person, and Vanessa fully understood that. She merely sighed as she handed him his tea, and she removed her own bagel from the bag, laying his on the desk so that he could eat it, or criticize it, at his own discretion. She took a seat on the couch that was pressed against the far right wall, and Derek returned to his desk, taking a quick sip of his drink, cringing as the hot beverage touched his tongue. She always forgot to ask for some cold water in this thing, but he never complained. He supposed he could leave it for a moment, and it'd cool down a bit.

Placing his drink down, he tuned into whatever she was currently rambling on about.

"-I mean, hello? Just because my hair is long, doesn't mean I've got extensions. Come on, people. Hair _can_ be real. Honestly, I-"

Derek tuned out again as he listened to her ramble on and on about some girl who had accused her of having extensions in her hair. Personally, Derek couldn't give a damn about whether or not the girl had accused her of having _plastic surgery,_ but because he was a good boyfriend, he kept nodding his head in agreement with her, throwing in the occasional 'How dare she?', to keep her happy. He managed to keep himself occupied by picking at things on his desk, and re-reading the same email over and over. God forbid he so much as touch the mouse to go to the next message, while Vanessa was there. She'd have a fit, if she thought his attention was focused elsewhere.

"-and Marissa's hair is so fake anyways. I mean, have you _seen_ how much it apparantly grew when she got back from France? Nobody's hair grows that fast, sorry to tell you, Marissa."

Derek inwardly cringed as he realized that she was still going on and on about the exact same thing she'd been talking about only five minutes before. He tuned her out again, and let his eyes wander to a photograph that had been resting on his desk since the day he'd moved into this office.

He felt the familiar clench of his heart as he reached out, brushing his fingers against the cool glass that seperated his skin from the material of the photo paper. He found himself completely concentrated on the image that he saw every single day. It wasn't a concious effort to focus on that picture everyday, but it was something that happened naturally.

He had mixed the picture amongst the six or seven photos that he had displayed on his desk. In the front was a photograph of him and Vanessa, at a CD signing about seven months back. She had thought it would be just wonderful to frame the thing and give it to him for Christmas. He'd tried to put it up in his apartment, but she'd gotten sooky, saying that he had no pictures of the two of them on his desk at work. Knowing that he'd never hear the end of it for as long as he lived. So he'd put the picture in front of the rest of them just to shut her up, but that didn't mean it was the most important one there. Scattered behind the first frame were several others, consisting of him and Marti, some of him and all three of the younger kids, one of him and his dad, and another of D-Rock, at their senior year talent show, which they had won.

But he barely glanced at these pictures, and when he did, he didn't pay any particular attention to them. The only picture he paid any real attention to was the one off to the far right side. He had placed it there purposely so that the full picture was in view, not shielded from view by the larger picture of him and Vanessa. The photograph had been taken the summer before his senior year, in the park close to his house. He had been standing near a tree, the sun shining down on his face, and causing him to squint. He had a bit of a tan, and it was easy to tell that it had been hot that day, for he had a few loose strands of hair sticking to his forehead, and his face was red with the hot temperatures. He wasn't exactly smiling, but he did look happy. On his back was the girl who had been his girlfriend at the time. She had her arms wrapped around his neck happily as she let her head rest against the side of his, grinning widely. He had her legs supported on either side of him, and her hair was falling straight past her shoulders, no breeze to ruffle through it on a hot day such as that one. They were both looking at the camera, completely happy, and Derek had to admit that it was actually his favourite picture, even eight years later.

The girl on his back had been the first girl he had ever really loved. That wasn't to say that this was the first girl he'd had sex with, because that would've been a lie. He'd been with two girls before her; Kendra and Sally, respectively. He knew that he had been her first, but she had known at the time that he was more experienced than she was, and she had been okay with that. They had really loved each other, that was something that he knew for certain. He'd come forward with his feelings towards the end of the tenth grade, and had been surprised when she had admitted that she felt the same. It hadn't been anything too serious for the first few dates, but eventually, he had found himself becoming more and more drawn to the stubborn and haughty brunette that took it upon herself to outdo him in every possible way. She had been fiesty, and she had shown no mercy on him, and it was that flare, that passion, that raw _desire_, that had initially sparked his interest in her.

And by the time their five month anniversary had rolled around, he had known that she was definitely the girl for him. Derek Venturi, the guy who never stayed in a relationship for more than twenty-one days, the guy who went through more girls than he did paper, was having thoughts that he had never thought he'd have, before. He was having thoughts of forever, and to be honest, that was scary for him. When he thought of his future, he had wanted it to be with her. When he thought of having kids, he had wanted her to be the mother. Yes, Derek Venturi, one-time player and serial dater, had turned into a one-girlfriend kind of guy. He was whipped, and he was sickeningly in love with her, but it didn't matter, because she had felt the same way for him.

But of course, Casey McDonald had always been viewed as a one-boyfriend type of guy, and Derek was no exception to that policy. But in reality, he was probably the exception to every single rule she had ever set for herself in regards to dating. She was used to dating the sophisticated guys- boys who were smart and polite, charming yet sweet. She would've laughed in your face, had you told her from the start that she'd end up with her stepbrother, Derek Venturi, who was quite clearly the opposite of everything she stood for. He was messy and unorganized, he was arrogant and loud, he was a jock and a player, but he had completed her. He had countered all of her flaws, and made her into a better person, and to their parents, it had been so obvious that there was no tearing them apart. Sure, they'd never been happy about the idea, in the beginning, but they'd allowed it to continue, fearing for what Derek and Casey may try and pull should they forbid them from seeing each other, anymore. They hadn't even come forward with their relationship until six months after they had gotten together, but by the time they had been going out for a year, the whole family had learned to accept it. Derek's mother had always been rather hesitant of the relationship, but even she had grown to accept that her son loved the girl very much, and she had known that this was all that should matter.

He'd been happy, he'd been in love, and he'd been conciously planning their future. He was half embarassed to admit it, but he had even begun to think about proposing to her, by the time they graduated. He'd even started setting aside money to save up for a ring. He'd been completely taken up by the girl, and he really hadn't been able to imagine his life without her. Sure, he didn't go into all that mushy crap every single time he saw her; he _did _have a reputation to protect. But when they were alone, he'd say the cutest little things to her. He didn't push it too much, but he did make it a point of telling her that he loved her everyday, and complimenting her at least once a day. He didn't want to be a total asshole; she was beautiful, and she was loved, and she had deserved to be told that everyday, just not to an extent that it got old.

But while Derek had been so caught up in the fact that Casey was his, and while he had been busy saving money for an engagement ring, Casey had been doing other things- things that he hadn't really given much thought to. If he had his time back, he would've been smart, and realized that nothing could've lasted forever; but he had been an idiot, too caught up in his obsession with Casey to bother realizing that high school was ending, and she had been busy applying to universities. He'd been too busy to hear her rambling on about how she had been offered a scholarship at one of the top universities in the world; Berkeley. And he'd been too much of an idiot to realize that going to Berkeley would require her to move to California, away from him, and away from their relationship. But he had definitely been paying attention on the day that she'd told him she wanted to end things. She said that it 'just wasn't fair' of her to tie him down in a long distance relationship like that, and that she'd never forgive herself for holding him back. And no matter how many times he had begged her to reconsider, and no matter how many times he told her that he didn't care about being tied down, she wouldn't buy it. She seemed to think that it was the best for the both of them, and really, Derek had begun to wonder if it was really her who hadn't wanted to be tied down, once she left. So he'd put her best interests before his own, and he'd told her that, while he loved her, he had to let her go her own way, and choose her own path in life. They'd broken up that day, and Derek would be lying if he said that he hadn't cried over it a couple of times, that week, when he was alone. Because while he'd told Casey that he just wanted her to be happy, and that he'd move on, the truth was that she had broken his heart. He had stupidly based his whole life on her, not stopping to consider the fact that they would be parting ways for university, soon enough. And because he'd relied so heavily on her, it'd been twenty times tougher on him when she broke things off. He'd questioned her about whether or not she'd be willing to pick things up again, if they were both still interested when she finally moved back to Canada, and although she had agreed, they had never done anything of the sorts. In fact, Derek had only seen her once since the day she left for California, and that had been at Lizzie's birthday, about three years before. They'd barely looked each other in the eye, and the most that they'd said to each other had been a brief 'hello', and a quick 'goodbye'. It had been much too awkward to even bother trying to mention what had happened, between them.

He had gotten over it, eventually. He'd moped around a fair bit for the first few weeks after she'd left, but after a month and a half, he'd forced himself to start dating again. He'd gone to Toronto with the full intention of going to university, but he'd been recruited immediately into the record label, and he'd been working here ever since. He was fairly surprised that they had taken him on, and brought him to this level of achievement with absolutely no college education, but he supposed that it was because he had turned things in a great direction. He was quick at solving any problems that the company was faced with, and he had been noted as the best they'd had in years.

"Derek, are you even listening?"

His eyes snapped up then, and he forced himself to look like he was paying the smallest bit of attention to what Vanessa was saying to him. She had a tiny pout on her lips, and her eyebrows were scrunched together as she gave him a mixed look of hurt and anger, clearly offended by his lack of attention.

"I'm having a crisis, and you're daydreaming!"

"No, no," he assured her, shaking his head quickly, trying to cover up his tracks. "I'm listening to you, baby; don't worry. Hair extensions, France, Marissa's a fake, yeah. I got it."

She continued frowning for a moment, before her eyes suddenly flashed with realization, and she smiled brightly, standing up and moving around to come sit on his lap. She perched herself on his knee as she grinned down at him, and he placed one arm around her waist, unsure of why she was suddenly so upbeat.

"You were looking at that picture of us again, weren't you?" she asked, giving him a knowing smile. "Aww, Derek; you're too cute. I can't wait to marry you. The weddings only like... two months away. Aren't you so excited?"

He stared at her for a moment, before nodding his head, eager to comply with whatever excuse she'd just made up for his lack of attention. If she thought he was merely daydreaming about their wedding, then who was he to tell her otherwise?

"Sure," he said, forcing a smile as he looked up at his fiancee, trying to act positive. "Two months; can't wait."

She giggled, and without another word, she had leaned down, and gave him a quick kiss. She jumped up quickly afterwards, throwing her empty coffee cup into the garbage basket next to his desk, and she gave him some rushed story about how she had to go downstairs and do a sound check. They were beginning the recording for her new album, in just two short weeks, and they had been preparing and rehearsing like crazy. Derek would occasionally drop down to the studio and check out everything, and he could admit that her new songs were amazing. He could already sense that her second CD was going to be an even bigger hit than the first. He was preparing himself for another year and a half of sold out concerts, tabloid rumours, screaming fans following her everywhere, and a whole lot of stress for him. It wasn't easy to try and manage a superstar's career, when you were busy trying to plan a wedding with that same celebrity. But he was pulling it off, and as she closed the door behind her, heading down to the recording studio eight floors below Derek's office, he leaned back into his chair, sighing as he picked up the picture of him and Vanessa off of his desk, running his fingers along the edge of the frame carefully, squinting.

"Two months," he said quietly to himself, drawing in a deep breath. "Can't wait."

It probably wasn't a good thing that his voice already sounded slightly reluctant.

* * *

**So, that was probably boring, because I had alot of description to fit in, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway, and hopefully you'll give it a chance! Review, and I will update again. **


	2. Types of Love

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Two: Types of Love**

"How can she even call that platinum blonde? It's clearly more of a... a..." Vanessa pulled her best thinking face, a feat that was hard for her to accomplish, at times. But she finally beamed proudly, and went on. "Baby blonde; yeah! That's right; and yet she has the nerve to say that _her_ hair is a shade lighter than mine."

Derek sighed as he clutched his mug tighter in his hand, wanting nothing more than to break something, right about now. Vanessa was _still_ upset about whatever her friend Marissa had said about her hair, the day before. Derek had thought that it would end when she left his office, and had a few hours on her own in the studio, where she could release some of her unused energy on her singing. But she was always one to pull a surprise out of nowhere, and _surprise_; Derek had gotten a phone call at eight last night, with more rambling about how Marissa had now claimed her hair was platinum blonde, a shade lighter than Vanessa's. Derek personally didn't see what the big deal was. Their hair was both blonde; and they both had long hair. What was the big deal? He never went into any fancy titles for his hair color. Brown made him happy enough, and if he were to take it a step further, it would only refer to it as a soft brown. But the girls seemed to find it impossible to accept that both of their hair could be naturally long, and a gorgeous color of blonde, and because of that, he was going to be forced to endure another day or so of this torture, he just knew it.

"And then she-"

"Okay, babe?" Derek finally cried, snapping as his hand covered hers gently, silencing her. She frowned, and he seized the oppurtunity for silence to speak, his voice desperate. "I know you're mad at Marissa and everything, but let's just talk about something else, okay? You're just gonna make yourself even angrier by talking about her, and we definitely don't want that."

She pouted, clearly not in full agreement with this idea. He felt like he could jump over a cliff, soon. The girl could be so stubborn, when she wanted to be.

"But I-" she argued, and he merely shook his head, his eyes determined, yet pleading all at once.

"No," he repeated, fully confident in the fact that he could silence her. "Enough talking about Marissa, and about hair extensions, and hair dye, and... and... just relax, okay? You're wearing yourself out."

She shot him a tentative look, but finally nodded her head, her eyes reluctant, but she seemed to realize that Derek really didn't want to talk about this anymore. So she sighed, taking a quick sip of her coffee, and glancing around the cafe casually. It wasn't often that they could get out like this, in the public eye. She was obviously extremely well known, and combined with Derek's success and high status, it was rare for them to be able to go out and relax like this, without the constant rush of people wanting Vanessa's autograph, or teenagers crowding Derek with demo tapes, and phone numbers. But usually, they could count on peace and quiet in the cafe down the road from the building in which Derek worked. It was mostly a crowd of people in their mid-twenties that went in there, but it was a rare occasion when there was anyone too young in there. There was the occasional elementry school kid who was skipping off school, and trying to act sophisticated by hanging around a coffee joint, but generally, the crowd that hung around there was mature. Sure, they had the occasional person come along and ask for an autograph, but since it was the same crowd there everyday, they could usually get away with a peaceful date at the table farthest back towards the wall. They came here two or three mornings a week, when Derek wasn't too busy, and Vanessa wasn't in the studio, or at some sort of publicity event.

"So are you excited for the new release?" he asked, deciding that anything would be better than more hair talk. "I mean, you've been practicing so hard for your recording. I can tell the new album is gonna be even better than the first one, and that's pretty hard to top."

She smiled, leaning back as she ran her fingers along the smooth surface of her coffee mug. She looked thoughtful as her lips touched against it, and she took a tiny sip, swallowing back the hot beverage with no sign of attention to the matter.

"I guess I'm excited," she said, shrugging. "I mean, doing it all over again is gonna be really fun. But that probably means I'm not gonna have a whole lot of free time. I mean, the CD is going to be released like... three weeks before the wedding. It's gonna be madness, with the signings, and the events, and then Brian mentioned last week that he wanted to start thinking about a new tour, in the fall. I mean, it's not that I don't like the concerts, because I do. But everything is just gonna be happening all at once, and I think it's gonna be really hard."

Derek reached across the table, taking one of her hands in his, and giving it a gentle squeeze to try and relax her. His eyes were kind as he shook his head at her, trying his best to set her mind at ease.

"Just relax, okay?" he said, sounding more confident than he felt. "Yeah, you're new album is gonna mean alot of publicity, and you're going to have to put alot of time in with your fans, but that doesn't mean we won't have time for us. No matter what, I'm gonna make sure that nobody schedules you in for anything for at least two weeks after the wedding, because we're gonna be on the honeymoon for a week, and then I think we deserve at least another week to ourselves. And as for the tour, I can ask Brian if he can try and push it ahead a little bit, even to November. I'm sure he can arrange it."

Vanessa watched him for a moment, before smiling at him, and leaning forwards slightly, her arms resting on the table, one of her hands still in Derek's.

"You're the best," she said, her voice full of affection. "You always know exactly what to say, don't you?"

"I do," he said, smirking slightly as he raised an eyebrow at her. "You know I just wanna keep you happy, right?"

She nodded, her smile genuine as she kissed the back of his hand, her eyes never leaving his as she spoke.

"You're doing a pretty good job at it," she said quietly, and as she leaned across the table, he found himself leaning back to kiss her gently on the lips. It was short-lived, and it was quick, but that was always the way things were with them. They were simple, they were easy, and they were comfortable in the familiar feeling of being together. They hadn't even been together all that long, but he could admit that he loved her. He had fallen for her pretty quickly, because really, she was a great girl. She was funny, she was successful, and she was a nice woman. She could always make him smile, and when she wasn't rambling on about haircare products, or the latest gossip, she was actually pretty smart; she just got carried away with her fashion ranting sometimes. So yeah, she was generally a really great girl, and yeah, he loved her.

But if there was one thing he could admit to himself, it would be that- if it had really been up to him, he probably wouldn't have proposed to her. He knew that he could never tell a single soul about that, because if Vanessa found out, she'd be heartbroken. At times, he had wondered if she was only using him, for even more status and money, but it had hit him about three months into their relationship that she had enough of that to go around, and that she was even more well known that he was. She didn't need him for his money, and she definitely didn't need him for his status. For whatever reason, she must really want to be with him, and he had finally accepted that. It hadn't been love, initially. After that awkward night when they'd hooked up on their tour bus, they'd started dating. Things honestly hadn't been too serious, in his eyes, and he had sort of figured that she wasn't really serious about them either. He had figured that they would last a little while, and then break it off after a few months, or so. But he had been pretty surprised when he had shown up at her parent's house for Thanksgiving, and they had known all about him. From that point on, Derek had realized that Vanessa was a little bit more serious about their relationship than he had thought. After that night, her parents had requested that he come by practically every Sunday evening for dinner with the entire family, and stay afterwards for coffee. They absolutely loved him. Her father was a university professor with a flare for rock and roll music, and he had instantly been attracted to Derek's successful career. His wife, and Vanessa's mother, was a retired school teacher, who had some students that had gone on to get record deals from the company that Derek worked for. And aside from loving his profession, they loved his personality. They seemed to think that he was the nicest, funniest, and smartest guy that they could ever find for their daughter. Derek had been severely tempted to show them a copy of his high school report card, and see how smart they thought he was after that.

But he had been fair. He had been nice and polite to her parents, he had gotten along well with her older sister, who always seemed to be having some sort of marriage crisis, and with her crazy aunts and uncles, all of whom seemed to belong in some organized and mannerly sort of place, for they rarely laughed. Her entire family was proper and polite, and it was a little creepy, to be around so many organzied people, after growing up in the McDonald-Venturi household, which was neither proper, nor organized. And they most definitely didn't make it a habit of being polite.

It wasn't long before her parents had started pushing the idea of a wedding. Her father had been the first to mention it, when him and Derek were sitting on the couch one Sunday evening, watching a football game, even though Derek absolutely despised football. He had casually asked about whether or not Derek was planning on asking the big question before, or after Christmas. Derek had choked on his water, and before he could even stammer out a response, he had laughed at Derek's misfortune, and clapped a hand on his shoulder, claiming that he was just joking around. Derek had nervously laughed the topic off, and had avoided a few Sunday dinners, for awhile. He had gone back about three weeks later, unable to escape yet another one, and he had been hoping that her father really had been kidding, and that the matter was long forgotten. But although they never asked him directly, anymore, both of her parents had been dropping little hints. Her father would make the smallest little comments about how he couldn't wait to walk her down the aisle, like he had with her older sister, Katie. Her mother would purposely flip through bridal magazines that she claimed were leftover from when Katie was getting married, and she would always point out certain dresses to her daughter, when she knew full well that Derek could heasr every word she was saying. He was almost certain that Vanessa hadn't been in on any of this, and he knew that she had even been embarassed by her parent's attitude towards him, because she had apologized several times, usually everytime they left her old house on Sundays. Derek had always told her that he hadn't really noticed, and that it was no big deal, but it was. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable, and he felt like it had to be done.

So one day in November, he had gotten her the ring, and proposed. It had been a small and simple gesture, and afterwards, they had gone out for dinner, and then he had dropped her back off at her apartment. Derek had never been a guy who spent hours fantasizing about how he would propose to a girl; he wasn't that much of a wimp. Sure, he had given it thought when he was considering asking Casey, but even then he hadn't given it too much thought. Sure, he hadn't expected fireworks to go off, or for them to proclaim their undying love towards one another. But even he could admit that he had expected something alot more romantic, when he finally proposed to a girl. But it had been nothing more than a simple 'yes', an exchange of a few happy and surprised words, and then, they'd gone out for something to eat. He was almost certain that, if he had of ever proposed to Casey, it would've gone alot different than it did with Vanessa. She probably would've cried, and while he hated tears, he knew he wouldn't have minded that time.

But what was done was done, and he was set to get married in two months time. It didn't matter if the proposal had been romantic or not, because the point was, she loved him, and he loved her, right?

Right?

Okay, so maybe he had questioned his feelings for her a few times. He felt like a horrible man every single time he questioned whether or not he loved her. Of course he loved her; he wouldn't have stuck with her this long if he didn't. She was faithful to him, she could make him smile or laugh when he felt down, and she was someone that he felt like he could trust. He only felt this uncertain because of everything that had happened with Casey. She had been his first real love, and because of the way that had ended, he felt like he had never really gotten any closure. It had ended horribly, and to this day he still regretted letting her go to California without stopping her from breaking up with him. Who knew where his life would've been right now, had he convinced her to stay with him? But if he hadn't let Casey go, he wouldn't have Vanessa, and he guessed that everything happened for a reason, and maybe that was the reason behind their breakup. He just loved Vanessa in a different way than he had loved Casey, that's all. That didn't mean he loved Vanessa any less than he had ever loved Casey.

Vanessa knew about Casey. He had felt compelled to tell her, since he didn't want to keep any secrets from her. They hadn't gone into great detail over it; he had merely told her that he had fallen for his stepsister, and that they had dated for most of high school. She hadn't seemed to have too much of a problem with it, really. She had admitted that she had found it sort of strange, but that she understood that weirder things had happened in life, and that Derek's past had nothing to do with them, now. She didn't know how much Derek had loved her, and she didn't know that Casey had been his first real heartbreak. In fact, there wasn't much she did know, on an emotional side. It wasn't like they ever talked about stuff like that. Their relationship was mainly physical, and when they did talk, it was never about anything too deep. Derek and Casey had always been able to have emotionally stimulating conversations, about anything and everything, while Derek often had to think hard to come up with two words to say to Vanessa. But, like he had already accepted, there were different kinds of relationships, just as there were different types of love, and that didn't make what he had with Vanessa less valuable.

"You really need to stop this whole spacing out thing," came a voice in front of him, and he looked up at her, his eyes distracted and distant. He gripped his hand in hers again, shaking his head as he tried to focus on the present, rather than on everything that had happened, in the past.

"Sorry, babe," he said, his voice rather distracted still. He mentally prepared himsef to pay full attention to her, as he nodded his head. "I've just got alot on my mind, today; that's all. I should be paying attention to you."

She frowned, worry flickering through her eyes as she took his other hand in her free one, concern obvious on her features.

"It's not something I did, is it?" she questioned, her voice anxious. "You're not like... mad at me, or anything, right?"

He immediately knew that he was getting himself in way too deep here; the last thing he needed was Vanessa thinking he was angry with her. So he desperately shook his head, his hands squeezing hers as gently as he possibly could.

"I could never be mad at you," he said, his eyes caring. "You didn't do a single thing wrong; you're the best, okay? You've just gotta remember that I love you, but I have a tendency of spacing out like that. But it never means that I'm angry with you, because I'm not."

She smiled happily, her entire body visibly relaxing upon this piece of information. It was clear that she was relieved, and she nodded her head at Derek then, sighing softly.

"I'm glad to hear it," she said, her voice honest as he leaned back to take a sip of his tea again. "But I've really gotta get going back to the studio. We were having a bit of trouble with one of the songs yesterday, and Brian wants me to work over that a little bit, so I guess I should head over there now. I should be out around lunchtime. Are you heading back now too, or are you going to stay here?"

Derek thought for a moment, before glancing down at his half finished mug of tea. He didn't really want to leave without finishing it, since it was still hot, and he didn't exactly have much work to cover until twelve, when he had a meeting with some website who was triyng to get permission to use the band's music for something or another. He glanced up at the clock that was resting against the pale wall of the dimly lit, and relaxing cafe, and he shook his head as Vanessa stood up and grabbed her purse off of the table.

"I think I'm going to stay here for another little while," he announced, raising an eyebrow at her. "Is that alright?"

She nodded, replacing her cellphone in her purse, and slipping her arms through the holes of her black jacket. She pushed her hair back off of her shoulders, smiling down at him.

"That's fine," she said, and he stood up then, wrapping his arms around her waist as he pulled her to him in a quick hug. She moved her hands up to grip his muscled arms, and she pulled him closer so that she could kiss him. He placed his hands on her waist, his eyes closed as he reminded himself that this was why he loved her; they had such an easy relationship, they got along so well, and it was obvious that she was dedicated to him, and only him. And this time, he tried to put a little more into their kiss, since he felt a little bit bad for not listening to her all day long, and for questioning how he felt about her in the first place. He should never have been thinking anything of the sorts.

He pulled back, and he could judge by the look in her eyes that she had noticed his change in mood. She gave him a weird look, but he merely kissed her very quickly on the lips again, and sat back down, nodding towards the door.

"Go on," he said, his voice amused. "You don't wanna be late for your practice; you know how Brian gets when he's moody."

She cringed, but laughed as she remembered the last time she had shown up late to a practice. Her poor manager had nearly had a breakdown, thinking that something had happened to his star. He had a tendency of being a little bit overreactive.

"Yeah, we don't need to send him off to another therapist," she joked, rolling her eyes. "I'll talk to you later on today. Love you."

"Love you," he responded, and as he took another sip of his tea, she turned and walked off in the other direction, towards the door where one of her bodygaurds would be waiting to escort her back to the studio down the street. He sighed as he leaned back, glancing around the cafe. This place was so relaxing, when you just needed a break from it all. People were generally quiet, in here, and there were couches and armchairs that lay around a fireplace, where you could curl up and read a book, if you really wanted to. There was a wireless connection, so that if you wanted to bring your laptop along and go online, you could do so, as long as you were wearing your headphones, when things got a little bit loud. Derek often took his laptop to this place after lunch, so that he could get his work done in such a nice environment.

Today, it wasn't too busy. There were several younger people on laptops, probably studying for their final exams, and there were a few people sitting around the fireplace, reading. Aside from himself, there weren't very many people who were actually doing nothing. There was a couple of college aged girls sitting around at a table about ten feet away from him; there was a man in his mid-twenties, who was merely staring off into space as he clutched his mocha tightly in his hands. And then there was a girl who looked to be about his age, standing back onto him at the counter, talking to the owner. He looked back down at his mug, but his head snapped back up quickly as he took a second look at the girl at the counter. She had light brown hair, mixed with some blonde foils, and it was falling in cute little waves around her shoulders. She wore jeans, and a purple and white striped tank top. She was skinny, but the figure of her body was all too familiar to Derek, and he could've sworn he'd seen that hair somehwere before, too.

He racked his brain hard, trying to think of who it could possibly be. Brown and blonde hair... pretty tall, slim figure...

"No," he whispered to himself, looking down at the table in shock. "It can't be."

He looked back up, but now that he had a name to match the body, he couldn't see it being anyone else but her. It had to be her; she looked identical to the girl he hadn't seen in nearly three years, who he pretty much hadn't spoken a word to in seven years. The girl laughed, and he felt a chill run through his body. That laugh was way too familiar to belong to anyone else. He wanted to get up and go over there, but then what if it wasn't her? What if he made a fool of himself? He pushed these foolish thoughts away; if it was someone else, he would just apologize for the mistake, and move on with his life. And if it was her...

If it was her, what? He could magically fix all of the mistakes that had gone on in the past? Yeah, right; that was never going to happen. But he felt like he had to know, nonetheless, so he stood up on shaking legs, and left his belongings at the table as he moved across the cafe, willing his mind to stop racing, and his palms to stop sweating. He had no reason to be nervous, right?

He stopped directly behind her, drawing in a deep breath as he clenched and unclenched his fists, his stomach turning nervously as he bit his lip, and focused his eyes on the back of her head.

"Um, Casey?" he questioned, and as the girl turned around, he found his gaze locking with sky blue eyes. Sky blue eyes that belonged to his ex-girlfriend, no less, and the girl he hadn't spoken to in seven years.

* * *

**So here is where Casey comes into the story. Once again, I promise you this story won't be a cliche about Derek being engaged, and having feelings for Casey, all that jazz. It will change, around the sixth chapter or so. Review please, to let me know if I should continue with this story. **


	3. Happy Reunion

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Three: Happy Reunion**

Derek had always loved Casey's eyes. They were such a pretty shade of blue, and when they were together, he had spent alot of time just looking at those eyes. There was just something about them that made him want to keep her there, and learn everything about her, if there was anything he didn't already know. There was just that little spark of mystery and curiousity in them, that caught his interest, and kept him drawn to her. And right now, even mingled with the shock that was evident on her face, he could see that nothing had changed, about her eyes. They were still as beautiful as ever, and he found himself staring at her, absolutely shocked. His mouth was hanging slightly open, and he realized that he must look like an idiot right now, but he didn't mind, since she was giving him an equally as shocked look.

"Derek?" she stammered out, her eyes wide with amazement. "Derek Venturi? What are you... how did you... Oh God."

She turned away then, burying her face into her hands, and he frowned, his mouth closing into a tight line as he tensed, confusion washing over him. She had her head bowed down against the palms of her hands, and she appeared to be trying to erase the past twenty seconds of shock from exsistance. It was like she had been absolutely paralyzed with shock, and now, she seemed to want to turn away from him altogether, and he had no idea why. But all he knew was that he couldn't let her turn away from him, not after he had just found her again. While he had moved on from his feelings for her, she had been a very important person in his life for a very long period of time, and suddenly, she had disappeared from it altogether. He had never thought that her going to California would mean that they would have cut off all contact completely. He had always assumed that she would be in his life forever, even if it wasn't as his girlfriend. But that hadn't happened, and he had spent the past seven years missing her, and wondering how her life had turned out. He was scared to ask his parents whether or not she was married, or had kids, because- although he had moved on, he knew that it might stir up some unresolved feelings of anger, or of jealousy. He loved Vanessa, sure, but he didn't exactly want to hear about his ex-girlfriend's love life.

He moved forwards, touching her elbow gently and turning her back towards him. He tilted his head slightly to the right, in an attempt to look the shocked woman in the eyes. He bit his lip nervously as she looked up at him, blushing slightly as her eyes stared right into his, clearly amazed.

"Casey, hey," he said, his voice quieter this time, as he attempted to let this sink in. "Come on, Casey. I know it's you; why won't you talk to me?"

She shifted awkwardly, folding her arms over her chest as Derek brought his hands back to rest in his pockets, and he watched her intently, trying his best not to act too hurt by her reaction to him. He guess it could be justified in the fact that she was absolutely shocked at the sight of him. At least he'd had a moment or two before the fact, to give himself the chance to accept the possibility that Casey was standing right in front of him. But Casey had never dealt with surprises well, and she looked absolutely taken aback right now, as though she hadn't been this surprised in years.

"Derek, I..." she tried to get out, but she shook her head, taking a step backwards so that she collapsed onto the stool behind her. "Wow, I can't believe it's you. I mean, I'm sorry for reacting like I just did, but what do you expect? I've seen you once in seven years, and then you come out of nowhere? It's a bit of a shock, you know."

He nodded his head, his mouth dry as he struggled to find the words to say to her. What did you say to someone, when you really had a list a mile long of things you wished you could ask them? But half of the questions that he'd always wanted to ask her had suddenly vanished from his mind, and the rest of them seemed too personal to even attempt asking. He felt like she was a stranger, like everything that had happened between them suddenly didn't matter. She was suddenly just a stranger to him, and he felt like asking anything personal would be way too intrusive, to her.

"I... I can't really say that I blame you for reacting like that," he said, shaking his head. He felt like he couldn't take his eyes off of the girl. "It's sort our own faults, I guess. I mean, we could've stayed in touch, and we could've tried to contact each other over the years, but..."

"-we never did," she finished, in a hushed voice. "God, Derek. I can't believe you're here."

He had barely had a chance to take in what she had just said, before he found himself stumbling backwards slightly, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He was too shocked to respond, at first. All his mind was able to process was that Casey, the girl he had once been so madly in love with, and the girl he hadn't seen in years, was hugging him. The feeling of her cheek pressed against the side of his head was so surreal, yet so familar, as though it had been there only yesterday. His arms found their way so easily around her waist, and he hugged her back, laughing slightly at how easily they had fallen back into place.

"I'm really glad we bumped into each other," he said, his chin on her shoulder as he closed his eyes. "I've missed you, Case."

She pulled back, pulling herself back up onto her stool pleasantly as she smiled at him, flipping her hair back away from her shoulders. She nodded towards the empty stool next to her, obviously in a great mood.

"Sit down," she suggested, and it didn't even occur with him to argue; he had been planning on sitting down anyways. He nodded quickly, taking a seat, and she sighed, rubbing her hands together as she struggled to decide what she wanted to ask him first. There was so much to discuss, and neither of them seemed able to process any of their jumbled up thoughts, at the moment. Derek knew for a fact that his own mind was struggling to accept the fact that Casey was right here in front of him. He half feared that he would wake up in five minutes, in his apartment, with the phone ringing like crazy with some work call. But he fixed his eyes on her, and he knew that this was real. And honestly, the fact that this was real was amazing, to him.

"So how are you doing?" Casey asked him, deciding to get the formalities out of the way first off. "Have you been doing okay? I've seen your name pop up on TV a few times, actually, but I've never really paid much attention to much of it. You can never tell what's true and what's not on those entertainment shows."

Derek chuckled lightly, nodding in agreement as he remembered the few times that his name had been on the news. There had been some sort of rumour circulating the year before, one that had almost cost him his job. Sony BMG would never drop a top employee like Derek Venturi, intentionally. But when rumours had circulated that he was going to be resigning from Sony BMG, and moving on over to Universal. The company had been well-prepared to drop Derek, if the rumours were true, but it had been proven to be nothing more than lies, and they had been more than happy to keep him on board. He was the best they'd had in years, and everyone knew it. They would never drop their precious Derek Venturi, unless they had to.

"I've been doing pretty good, I guess," he admitted, sighing as he ran his fingers along the edge of the counter, his other elbow propped up against the surface. "Working hard. We've got alot of new releases and stuff coming out this summer, and we have a few tours planned for early fall."

"Like Vanessa Williams?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow. Derek blushed, looking away, and she continued, her voice knowing. "You know, top of the charts since last summer, sold out concerts all over the country... engaged to her publicist? What's that guy's name again; Derek, I thought it was. Derek Venturi?"

Derek rolled his eyes casually, a tiny smirk on his lips as he shrugged his shoulders, inwardly cringing. So she knew about Vanessa; that was one less thing he would have to admit to her, at any cost. Having Casey know that he was engaged felt a little bit weird, to be quite honest. It was like she knew all about his life, through the media, and through his famous fiancee, and yet he knew absolutely nothing about her. In fact, he didn't even know where the girl was living. If he had known all along, he would've visited her long ago. But the point was, he knew next to nothing about the girl he had once known everything about. This was the girl he had spent three years getting to know; he had known her every pet peeve, he had known what could make her tick, and he had known just how to get under her skin. And now, looking at the girl in front of him, he felt like she was a closed book, one that he had once known off by heart, but had somehow forgotten the words to along the way. For her, however, it was so easy to figure out what Derek was up to in his life. All she had to do was read the papers, or flick on a television set. If he wasn't on there, you could rest assured that Vanesa's name would be mentioned a few times. And if Vanessa was mentioned, the media usually found a way to incorperate Derek into their story somehow.

"So you heard about Vanessa?" he asked, blushing slightly as he leaned against the counter gently. She nodded, and he squirmed uncomfortably, giving her a furtive glance.

"So I guess that means you know all about the engagement and stuff too, right?"

She nodded awkwardly, and her cheeks were slightly red as she ran her fingers along the edge of the countertop to distract herself. It was like she couldn't look Derek in the eye, for she had her gaze lowered slightly downwards, and her eyes were nothing more than slightly uncomfortable. Her face was void of emotion, as though she was trying hard not to react to the current choice of topic. She seemed to realize that she would have to respond, for she sighed, looking back up reluctantly as she gave her reply.

"Yeah, I heard about your engagement," she said, nodding her head to confirm this. "Congratulations, huh? I bet you're pretty excited; I mean, a wedding! That's pretty big. I'm really happy for you."

Derek raised an eyebrow, and for some reason, he felt a little bit disappointed that she was not more shaken by the fact that he was getting married. He found himself sort of hoping that maybe she was just acting like she didn't care. It wouldn't be a shock, really, by this point, so maybe she could have pulled that off. He instantly felt guilty; why should he even care whether or not Casey was upset by the fact that he was engaged? He didn't feel anything for her, in that sense, anyway. He supposed it was just the shock of realizing that this meant Casey was completely over him, as well.

"You're really happy for me?" he questioned, his voice slightly surprised. When she nodded, he breathed in deeply, nodding his head. "That's good then. I mean, I thought maybe it'd be weird for you, or something, knowing that I'm getting married to Vanessa. I mean, with everything that went on before-"

She suddenly laughed, cutting him off entirely before he could even finish his sentence.

"It was all in the past, Derek," she reminded him, and he frowned as his mouth clamped shut in surprise. "It was seven years ago, now. I'm over that; aren't you?"

He thought for a moment, and however much he would have liked to tell her that, no, he wasn't _really_ over it, he knew that he couldn't. It wasn't that he had any romantic feelings for Casey, it was just that she had been the first girl to really break his heart, and there was times that his heart wouldn't let that go. He was over _her,_ sure, but she was never far from his mind. Something about her had always stayed with him, but he knew that he would have to lie to her, and tell her what he thought would be best to hear.

"Yeah, I'm over it," he said, nodding his head awkwardly. "I just... you know, wanted to make sure that you were over it too. I don't want anything to be awkward between us."

She stared at him for a moment, and there was silence as both of them ran out of things to say. He inwardly kicked himself for being so stupid; he should've known that this was going go turn awkward, and he was starting to regret coming over here at all.

But the man behind the counter saved the day, when he came to a stop in front of Casey, and handed her a rather large mug, which Derek assumed she had ordered before he had gotten here.

"Large mocha, no chocolate shavings?" he asked, for confirmation purposes, and Casey nodded, grabbing her purse off of the floor next to her.

"How much?" she questioned, as she began to rummage through her purse for money. The man raised an eyebrow, and even Derek was surprised when he saw how cluttered her purse was. It wasn't even messy; on the contrary, it was quite neat, it was just an overflow of belongings. He wanted to question her when he saw about three Bob the Builder bandaids in there, but he shoved it to the back of his mind as he turned to the man, waiting for a response as though he hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary.

The guy who had been serving her shook himself out of his trance, and fixed his eyes on the back of Casey's head as he leaned against the counter, careful to avoid hitting her mug.

"Two fifty three," he said, and before Casey could count her handful of change out, Derek reached into his pocket, and removed a five dollar bill, slapping it down onto the counter.

"Here's five; keep the change," he said, and Casey blushed, shaking her head as she looked up at him, her hand frozen as she stopped counting out her change.

"I couldn't let you do that," she said, her eyes locking with his. "That's not fair."

The man, who must have been happy that he'd just gotten a two fifty tip from some guy he didn't even know, and a 'Bob the Builder' fanatic woman, straightened up, his eyes bright as he nodded his head at Casey happily.

"Let the man be a gentleman," he said, his voice more hopeful than it should've been. "You never know how often it'll happen."

He was probably referring to his own small profit from Derek, but as Casey's eyes locked with Derek's, she slumped her shoulders, sighing heavily as she clutched the mug in her hand, tossing her change back into her purse lazily.

"You're right, I guess," she said, nodding her head. "I mean, I never know when he's going to have his useful moments."

A tiny smirk crept onto her features, and any awkwardness was suddenly eliminated as Derek grinned, shoving her shoulder playfully as he recognized her offensive comment.

"Hey!" he said, trying his best to act offended by what she had just said. "So not fair, Case. I'm being nice to you, and you repay me with comments like that? That's not cool, Case; not at all."

She merely laughed, and he sighed, nodding at the waiter as he pocketed his money, and scurried off in the other direction happily. He turned back to Casey, and gave a jerk of the head towards the table he had just abandoned.

"Want to come over and sit down with me for a bit?" he asked her, hoping that she would say yes. "I've got all my stuff over there, so..."

"Sure," she said, and he was relieved when she actually sounded happy about this. She swung her purse over her shoulder, and clutched her mocha in her right hand as she flipped her hair over her shoulder casually, and followed Derek over to the table in the corner that him and Vanessa had previously occupied. Derek found himself glad that Vanessa had left early, since if she hadn't, he probably wouldn't have even seen Casey. And for some reason, finding Casey felt like one of the best things that had happened to him in a long time.

She sat down in the chair that Vanessa had been occupying, and Derek returned to the seat that had his jacket slung over the back of it. He quickly took a sip of his abandoned tea, which was still a bit lukewarm. He hated cold tea, but he decided that he would drink it anyway; it wasn't completely cold, and he wanted to stick around, without making it seem like he was just there to see her.

"So how have you been?" he asked her, sighing as he leaned back in his chair, examining her quickly. "You, uh... you look good."

She blushed a little at his observation, but Derek felt no shame in telling her that she was still physically attractive, because she was. She was just as gorgeous as she ever had been; if possible, she was even better. The hair that had once been a chestnut brown was now light brown, mixed with light blonde foils, and it was just slightly past her shoulders. Although she had never been overweight, the few inches she had grown made her look even skinnier than she had before. It wasn't a sickly sort of skinny, because Derek could admit that she had an amazing figure about her. And her makeup was done just right; it wasn't overdone, like Vanessa sometimes did, but it was just perfect. A little bit of light eyeshadow to match her light purple and white shirt, a bit of coverup, some eyeliner, and some mascara. Her lip gloss was barely even noticeable, and if Derek had ranked her right now, she would've scored a perfect ten, whether he was biased or not.

"Thank you," she said quickly, her cheeks still slightly red at his compliment. "So do you, actually."

He grinned, shrugging one shoulder carelessly as he tried to act like his old self.

"Well, you know me," he said egotistically. "I always look good."

She rolled her eyes with disgust, shaking her head at him with disbelief, though her eyes were amused as she responded to him.

"Same old Derek," she said, though she sounded rather happy about this. "Glad to see you haven't changed."

"Not in the slightest," he said, shrugging one shoulder as he took another sip of his drink. Deciding to get onto a more serious topic, he gave her a stern look, frowning slightly.

"So are you married, or anything?" he asked, noticing that she wasn't wearing a ring, or anything. "I mean, I'm just wondering."

She shook her head, and he didn't understand why he felt so relieved to know this; she could be married if she wanted, he had Vanessa. If he was going off to get married, Casey had every right to do the same. He wanted the best for her, and that included a man that could make her happy, right?

"No, I'm not married, or engaged or anything like that," she said, sounding like this didn't bother her at all. "I'm not in a relationship or anything, either. I'm really busy most of the time. I mean, I work at a law firm about fifteen minutes from here, and I'm usually really busy in the nights. I don't have much time for dating. I just moved to Toronto about a year ago, but I'm not really out much to meet anyone."

There was something weird about her tone of voice, but Derek decided not to question it as he nodded his head, looking interested. It would be best not to question whatever she was telling him; he didn't want to seem like he was making her out to be a liar, or anything of the sorts. So for the next hour, he let the conversation wander anywhere but their love lives, and he found himself connecting with her just as easily as he had back when they were together. He supposed that the bond hadn't taken too long to rebuild, and he found himself able to relax with her. He was comfortable, and he knew that this was something he wanted to do more often.

When she finally claimed she had to get going, he stood up reluctantly, and shrugged into his jacket. He had a meeting to be getting to anyways, and he didn't want to keep her from whatever it was she had to get done. He watched as she shrugged into her own jacket, and took the final sip of her mocha, laying the mug back down on the table gently, towards the middle of the table. She pushed her long hair over her shoulder, sighing as she zipped up the zipper on her jacket.

Derek watched her, his palms sweaty as he waited to say something, anything. He wanted to see her again, but he had no idea how to tell her that. He felt like letting her go without making later plans would be something he would end up regretting, eventually. He had a feeling that Casey was waiting for him to ask something, because she went purposely slow in getting ready to leave. But as slow as she went, she wasn't going slow enough, and she was finally ready. She announced that she had to go, and Derek knew then that, if he was going to say anything, it would have to be done now.

So he gathered every bit of courage he had, and let out a deep breath as he voiced his question.

"Case, I was wondering," he said, and he wanted to slap himself for sounding so nervous. He ignored the voice that was betraying him, and went on as though nothing had distracted him in the first place.

"I mean, I've really enjoyed getting to talk to you again today... and it just sort of reminds me of how much I really have missed you," he said, well aware that he was rambling, now. "I guess what I really want to know is whether or not you'd... you know... like to hang out a bit more... I mean, now that we've found each other again. I'd really like to start spending more time with you."

She didn't even have to think about it. A smile spread across her face easily, and she nodded, obviously having absolutely no arguments with what he had just told her. She fished into her purse, digging out a pen. She grabbed his hand, and the contact of their skin was enough to send a chill up his spine. He watched with interest as she jotted seven numbers down on his hand, and replaced the pen in her purse, snapping the cover into place first.

"That's my number," she said, giving him a tiny nod of the head. "Call me, okay?"

He nodded, his hand still tingling from where she had touched him. He was staring at her, and he was completely dazed by everything that had just happened, but he waved goodbye quickly as she smiled, and left the cafe. He found himself collapsing into the chair that she'd just abandoned, staring down at the number written across the back of his hand so carefully.

Yeah, he would definitely be calling her.

- - - -

Vanessa came over for dinner, that night. Derek was often unsure of why they didn't even live with each other, but he supposed that was his fault. He didn't really want to move out of his apartment, and although there was plenty of room there for Vanessa, he had never asked her if she would want to move in with him. He supposed that he just wanted to make the most of his last few months of independance, and spend it living on his own. But she spent lots of time there, so he rarely felt guilty for this.

"How was your day?" she asked him, as she dried off a glass from the dishwasher, and placed it in the cupboard, next to the other glasses. "After I left, I mean? How long did you stay at the cafe?"

Derek dried off the plate in his hand slowly and carefully, thinking over his answer very carefully. It wasn't like he had done anything wrong, really; he hadn't cheated on her. He didn't even feel anything like that for Casey; he loved Vanessa. It had just been an innocent afternoon with his ex-girlfriend, who he had run into by accident. But for some reason, he wasn't sure on how Vanessa would react to this story, and he found himself not wanting to telll her that he had been with another girl all afternoon, his ex nonetheless. So he shook his head, shrugging his shoulders as he put the plate away on the other stack of dishes, and reached for a bowl that needed to be dried.

"I didn't stay too long," he lied, shrugging. "Half an hour or so, I guess; just long enough to finish my tea. I mean, there's not much to do there once you leave. It was pretty uneventful, really."

This was a blatant lie; his afternoon had been more eventful than any day he'd had in a very long time, but he knew that he couldn't say that, so when Vanessa bought it, he only allowed himself to feel slightly guilty for deceiving his fiancee.

"That's nice," she said, sighing. "By the way, my parents wanted to know if you wanted to come along to dinner tomorrow night. They claim that they haven't seen you in ages; you know, since you were sick for the last dinner, and we were out of town the week before? My Dad misses you, I think."

"I can't," he said instantly, and he knew that he had said that a little bit too fast, for Vanessa looked up immediately, confused and hurt. Only then did he realize how defensive he had sounded, and he blushed, clearing his throat as he reached for another dish to replace the one he had just put away.

"I mean, uh... I've got dinner plans tomorrow, with an old friend," he said, biting his lip. "Tell your Dad I can probably go the next night, okay? Tell him I'm sorry, but that I'll definitely go out to dinner with you guys this week. I miss them too, you know?"

Okay, so he was lying about that last part. He didn't miss them at all; they were nice people, but they were slightly psychotic, when they wanted to be. And truth be told, he didn't really have dinner plans for the next night. But the moment Vanessa was gone, he picked up the phone, and dialed the number that Casey had scribbled onto his hand, prepared to ask the question he had been dying to ask her since she left the cafe. He hadn't wanted to come off as too eager, and he supposed that he wasn't doing much better by calling her that same night, but truth be told, he didn't really care.

She answered the phone almost immediately, and although she sounded a little bit surprised that he had called her this soon, she definitely didn't sound disappointed. He got the formalities out of the way instantly, before moving onto what he had really wanted to ask.

"Look, Case," he said, sighing. "The reason I'm calling is... I'm wondering if you wanted to go out for supper tomorrow night, and catch up a little bit more, you know? I miss spending time with you."

"Supper?" Casey asked, and there was a pause as Derek waited nervously on the other line. "I'm... I'm really sorry, Derek; but I can't do supper."

His hopes died away, and he felt disappointment flicker through him as he lowered his gaze to the ground, frowning slightly. Well, that had gone over brilliantly.

"Oh," he got out, knowing that he sounded disappointed. "Well, that's okay I guess. I just thought I'd ask you, but if you don't want to-"

"No, no-" she said immediately, panic in her voice. "It's not that I don't want to; I really can't. But how about lunch? I can do lunch, as long as I'm home by around two thirty. I mean, if you can't, it's cool, but I just thought I'd give you a bit of an alternative, since I can't go with you tomorrow night."

His spirits lifted again, and he immediately got out his answer.

"Whatever works best for you," he noted, wanting to take whatever he could get. He immediately dropped the excited tone of his voice as best as he could, not wanting to sound over-eager, or anything. "I'll, uh... I'll meet you at that place on Walker Street, around twelve? Is that okay with you, or did you need to go earlier?"

"Twelve is fine," she said, and he grinned to himself, feeling slight victory. "I know where you're talking about; I'll see you there?"

"Sounds good," he said, taking a seat on his couch. "See you tomorrow, Case."

As he hung up the phone, he couldn't help but feel happy about what he had just accomplished. Even if his romantic past with Casey was over, he was looking forward to getting to develop his friendship with her, again. He really wanted her to be a part of his life again, and by the sounds of it, she wanted something along the same lines as him.

* * *

**So there's chapter three. Hope you all enjoyed it. Review, and I will update for you!**


	4. Luncheon

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Four: Luncheon**

Derek was up by at least seven the next day. He didn't have to be to work until three today, since most of the executives were gone to a conference in Kingston, for the day. He had a meeting at three, so he'd have to be back for then, but that was okay, considering Casey had to be home by two thirty, anyways. He hadn't asked her why, but he assumed that she had somewhere else to be around that time; maybe that was why she wasn't able to go out to supper, in the first place. He didn't mind, really; he wasn't hell bent on going out to supper with her. If lunch was all she could do, he'd take it in a heartbeat. Yesterday had been one of the most amazing days that he'd had in a very long time. He had loved being in Casey's presence again; it was like the seven years apart hadn't happened. Neither of them liked mentioning their old relationship, though he knew it would have to be addressed at one point or another, but that was okay, considering the fact that they had plenty of other things to catch up on. He wanted to know what she'd been doing for the past seven years. He had no idea where she'd been, what she had been doing, what she had accomplished... and he wanted to know. He wanted to know everything that he had missed out on in her life, and he wanted her to know everything about him. His life was a little more public than hers, obviously, but that didn't matter. There were plenty of things that the media could never discover about him, no matter how hard they tried, because he had his own thoughts, half of which he would never admit to anyone who might leak it to the media. But he trusted Casey, and he knew that he could tell her absolutely anything that was on his mind. She had never spilled one of the many secrets she had told him, in high school, and he was grateful for that.

Usually, when Derek woke up too early, he was cranky. He'd stumble around the apartment as he struggled to get ready, and he'd pass by his bed with longing glances, wishing that he could just go back to sleep for even five more minutes. But today was completely different from any other morning, to him. He had woken up at promptly seven, having to go to the washroom. On any other normal day, he would've gone back to bed, but he'd been wide awake. He'd gone into the washroom and gotten a shower. He'd shaved, wanting to look at his best, and he had ensured that his hair fell around his eyes in just the perfectly messy way, like she had always liked. The ends of his hair sometimes curled up in the front, and while he hated it, Casey had always found it adorable, so he left it the way it was. He had dressed himself up in a black button up shirt with vertical lines that were almost a transparent sort of white. He'd thrown on his darkest pair of jeans, and left the top two buttons of his shirt undone, revealing the white one underneath. Next, he had put on just a tiny bit of cologne. He had only sprayed on a small amount, because he knew that she hated it when guys used cologne like a shower. She said it made breathing quite difficult, and the last thing he needed was a mopey Casey.

By the time he thought his appearance was up to standards, it was still only nine o'clock. He wanted to smack himself for spending almost two hours getting ready to go see Casey. When he was meeting Vanessa, it would usually only take him about a half an hour, and he'd be out the door, still grumbling about how tired he was. But not a single complaint was running through his mind, other than the fact that time was ticking by too slowly. He told himself that he was paying such close attention to his appearance because Casey hadn't seen him so long, and he wanted to make a good impression on her, so that she could see how far he had come. But even he didn't believe himself. He wanted her to see everything she had given up, and while he would never want to hurt her, he wanted her to regret breaking up with such a great guy. He wasn't saying that he wanted her back, because he was obviously quite taken, but still, after all the heartbreak he had endured, he felt it would be justified to make himself look extremely good today, just so she could see what she was missing out on, because of her mistake.

By ten o'clock, he could admit that he was bored, which was pretty awful, considering he had another two hours to kill. He had tried to occupy himself by lying on the couch in his large living room and watching something on the wide flatscreen TV, but nothing good was on at this hour. He had then taken a seat by the huge glass wall that made up the front half of his apartment, and overlooked Toronto, but even that was boring, to him. He'd finally occupied himself by sitting down at his desk, and typing up some documents that he had to have finished for the next day. It was one less thing he would need to get done, tonight when he got home. He wrote Brian an email, asking him about postponing the tour a little bit, so that him and Vanessa could have a bit of time after the wedding to relax. He was sure the guy wouldn't mind. Brian may be three years older than Derek, and sure, he was Vanessa's manager, but he basically did anything Derek told him to do. He was a smaller guy, and Derek had a feeling that, although he was not geeky, he would've been one of those kids in high school that he paid off to clean his locker, or something like that. He was quiet, and he was eerily emotional, almost like a girl. If Vanessa was suddenly out of contact with him, he'd break down into tears about where his precious little celebrity was gone, and rant on and on about how he was a failure, and how something had happened to her, and it was all his fault. Derek usually watched him with interest, trying not to laugh at him, but failing dismally. The guy was just too funny, and Derek knew that- if he wanted Vanessa's tour pushed ahead a month or so, it would be pushed ahead. Enough said.

At promptly eleven thirty, he decided he would get a move on, and head down to the restauraunt. It was only a fifteen minute drive, but he was afraid of getting caught up in lunch hour traffic, and the last thing he wanted was for Casey to think he had stood her up, because he was late, or something. Besides, Casey was usually early for everything, and if he could fit in that extra ten minutes... who was going to complain? So he hopped into the car at twenty-five minutes to twelve, and he was on his way. Much to his surprise, he only hit one red light, and he only got stuck in traffic once. That wasn't bad for lunchtime traffic. This was why he always had lunch at work, or walked to one of the diners down the road from their building.

He arrived at the restauarunt five minutes early, and told the waiter that he was going to need a table for two, but that he wasn't going in until his friend got there. He waited around in the lobby of the place, glancing at some of the photographs on the wall. This was a fancy place, there was no doubt about that. He had taken Vanessa out for dinner here a few times, and it hit him as creepy that this was the place where he had taken her, after he had proposed to her. If he had of remembered this, he probably would've picked somewhere else to take Casey; it just seemed weird that he was taking his ex to the place where he had taken his fiancee, after a big event. But he decided that it didn't matter as he sighed, and glanced down at his watch.

Six minutes after twelve. He knew that it was only six minutes past the hour, but he couldn't help but feel worried. What if Casey didn't show up? What if he was being stood up, here? He trusted Casey, but then again, maybe her nerves had gotten the better of her, and she had decided that this was just way too awkward for her. Maybe she had decided that she didn't want to get involved with someone like Derek again. Anything could've caused her to change her mind, and he couldn't help but feel worried that she just wouldn't show up, and he'd never hear from her again. He tried to tell himself that he was overreacting, but by ten minutes after twelve, he was beginning to feel like a bit of an idiot. He was being stood up, he was just sure of it.

"Derek?"

He turned to see Casey standing behind him, looking stressed out as she attempted to fix her hair, which was slightly askew. She was wearing a black jacket with grey sleeves and lining, and a grey hood. Underneath, he could see the edge of her black tank top, and she was wearing dark jeans. He felt relief flicker through him as he recognized that she hadn't stood him up; she had showed up after all. He felt like an idiot for doubting her, and decided that he wouldn't get angry with her for being late. Everyone had something that came up, every now and then. She was normally a punctual person, and Derek of all people would know. He had been late for dates with her tons of times in the past, but this was actually only the third time she'd been late meeting him, in her entire life.

"Casey, hey," he said, and he reached out, giving her a brief, one-armed hug. She smiled as he pulled back, giving her a quick glance. "I was starting to worry that you weren't coming."

He decided not to go into further detail on that one, not wanting to seem like an overreactive idiot, but she merely blushed, shaking her head.

"I was on my way over here, and I got a phone call from someone," she said, as he walked her towards the table that the waiter had set aside for them, his hand on her lower back casually as he showed her to her seat, and allowed her to sit down. He took a seat across from her, and shrugged out of his jacket as he listened to what she was saying.

"-anyway, the point is, I sort of had to make a detour, and... well, I'm sorry for being so late."

She sounded truly sorry and embarassed by the fact that she had showed up late, and he found himself shaking his head, waving a hand dismissively.

"Don't worry about it," he said, and while she didn't look completely convinced, she nodded her head, sighing as she shrugged out of her jacket, draping it carefully across the back of her chair so that it wouldn't get wrinkled, or fall onto the floor. She sighed when she straightened up again, and she picked up the menu in front of her, biting her lip as she read down through it. He saw her eyes widen, and he knew that she was probably scanning through the prices of everything here. He had forgotten about how expensive everything was, and he really didn't know anything about her financial status, so he sighed, peering at her from over his menu.

"Order whatever you want," he told her, nodding at her. "I'm paying."

She shook her head, blushing slightly. Derek sensed an argument coming up, and he wanted to just freak out at her for being so damn difficult. Why couldn't she just accept his offer, like a normal person? But this was Casey, and Casey wasn't normal, so of course, she opened her mouth and proceeded in protesting with him on the matter.

"I can't let you do that," she said, and he rolled his eyes, folding his menu as he placed it back down on the table, watching her with interest. "You paid for my coffee yesterday, remember? I don't want you wasting your money on me, okay?"

He shrugged, leaning back as he re-opened his menu, and read through the steak section casually.

"It's not wasting money," he said, his voice bored. "I intended on paying for you when I asked you to come here. It's no big deal, really. You know that I'm gonna wind up winning, so I suggest you just shut up and read your menu, 'cause I'm paying."

She looked like she wanted to argue with him more than anything, but she also seemed to realize that nothing that she said was going to make a difference. Derek always got what he wanted, and if he wanted to pay for her, he was going to do so, and nothing she could say or do would stop him.

"Fine," she muttered, shaking her head. "Thank you, Derek. But you really don't have to be doing any of this, you know that, right?"

"I know," he said, shrugging as he kept his eyes on the menu. "But I am, and for the record, you're welcome."

She sighed, turning back to her menu, and when the waiter came back to take their orders, she ordered the vegetarian spaghetti, with a garden salad on the side and a diet coke. Derek went for root beer, and a steak dinner, with a side of ceaser salad. Casey rolled her eyes at his huge appetitie, which clearly hadn't changed since she had seen him last, but he didn't mind her at all as the waiter took their menus, and told them that he would be back shortly with their drinks. Derek and Casey both relaxed into their seats, falling into an eerie sort of silence as they listened to the soothing music playing in the background.

"So," Derek said, desperately trying to make conversation. "What do you do, anyway? I mean, you mentioned that you work in a law firm, but... I dunno, you never told me what you do. Are you a lawyer, or something?"

She shook her head, her fingers brushing along the surface on the side of the salt shaker in front of her.

"No, I'm not a lawyer," she said, her voice distracted as she kept her eyes on the table in front of her. "I'm just the secretary there. It pays pretty well, and the people I work with are really nice."

Derek frowned slightly, squirming uncomfortably. As far as he had been aware, Casey had been going to university in California so that she could study to become a doctor. She had always wanted to do med-school, he knew. So what had happened to that dream? The Casey he knew would never give up something that she had wanted for such a long time. And she'd been telling him since she knew him that she wanted to be a doctor one day.

"I... uh, sort of always thought you wanted to go to med school?" he questioned, confused. "What happened to that? Did you change your mind, or something?"

She frowned, and he could insantly tell that he had touched a sore subject. Casey winced, and she looked down immediately, pain in her eyes. Derek immediately felt horrible for bringing up something that she obviously had no interest in talking about, and he shook his head, leaning forwards with sympathy and remorse in his eyes.

"Case, I'm sorry," he said, his voice worried. "I don't want you getting upset over it, or anything. I didn't think it'd be a big deal to mention it, but... I was just curious. I mean, you were dead set on going to med school right up until the last time I saw you before you left for university, and..."

"No, no," she said, shaking her head as she looked back up, her eyes sad, but her face apologetic. "I shouldn't have reacted like that, 'cause you're right. I did want to go to med school, and I... I sort of wish now that I had. I mean, don't get me wrong; it's not that I don't like my job, because I do. But alot of stuff came up that year, and I... I wound up having to just finish my first year of general courses, and then go onto something a bit easier. I... I moved back to Canada, actually, after a year. I transferred to the University of Toronto for my second year of courses."

His eyes widened, and he sat there in shock as he realized what this meant. Casey had been back in the province; hell, Casey had been in the same city as him, and she hadn't bothered to contact him? Hadn't she wanted to be with him at all, or had she already moved on, by then? He thought back to where he had been when he was nineteen, and he realized that this was probably around the same time that he had been beginning his apprenticeship at Sony BMG. Getting that job had been one of the highlights of his young life; the apprenticeship had meant everything to him, and it hurt to think that Casey had been going through alot, at the time.

"I'm sorry to hear about that," he said honestly, shaking his head. "What went on, if you don't mind my asking? Sure, there was that whole... awkward night a few years back, on your sister's birthday, but that doesn't really count. The most we said to each other than was hello. I mean, we haven't _actually_ talked in seven years, Case. When you left, I sort of thought we'd stay friends, but... I mean, you know that didn't happen. And basically, I know absolutely nothing about your life now, other than the fact that you work at a law firm, and you're single. So come on, what's up? Why can't you tell me anything? It's just me; Derek. You know, the same guy you trusted everything with, back in high school?"

She nodded her head, sighing as the waiter came back with their drinks, and she thanked him. She was quiet for a minute or two, as she took the occasional sip of her soda, stirring the ice around with the straw every now and then. He watched her intently, knowing it was best not to interrupt her thought process. He could tell when she was ignoring him, and when she was thinking, and this time, she was thinking really hard. And he knew it was best to just leave her alone so that she could think in peace.

He knew that she had made the right choice, because she finally spoke up, her voice oddly quiet as she took a deep breath.

"Med school would've taken too much time, and too much money, with the situation I was in," she said quietly, shaking her head. "I finished off the first year of school in California, and then moved back to London. I went to school in Toronto, though. I had to drive in there every single day, and let me tell you, it wasn't easy. I had to be up super early to get off to classes. I was living back with our parents then."

"Really?" he questioned, frowning slightly. "I never ever saw you there, when I visited."

"Because you always told them before you visited," she said, blushing uncomfortably. "And usually, I'd find somewhere else to be. I don't mean to sound cruel, but I didn't want to be around you. It was just too weird, after our breakup, and... I just avoided you. But now, I want to start seeing you regularily, you know? I'm past that hiding stage, and I can see us being good friends again."

He could've so easily gotten mad over the fact that she had hidden from him, but he decided to be the bigger man, and he shook his head, sighing as he pushed the matter to the back of his mind. Losing his newfound friendship with Casey wasn't worth the satisfaction of getting mad at her over something that had happened over five years ago, was it? He knew that it wasn't, so he did what he knew was right.

"It's fine," he said, shrugging. "It's in the past, and I'm not going to be childish and hold that against you. I forgive you for not wanting to see me; I found everything to be a tad bit awkward back then, too."

Just then, their food arrived, and while they ate away at their meals, they steered clear of talking about the past. They spoke only of their siblings, and their parents, and their jobs, but never about _them_. Neither of them really wanted to discuss the matter anymore, apparantly. Derek made a couple of jokes at her, and she scolded him for it, and they both felt like everything was back to normal, so long as they weren't discussing anything too personal. But once they got into a personal level, it was like they froze up, and neither of them knew how to deal with what had happened.

As he finished off the last few bites of his steak, Derek leaned back in his seat, wiping the corners of his mouth to make sure he didn't have any barbeque sauce or food there. Casey laughed at him, and he shrugged his shoulders, patting his stomach contently.

"Yep," he said, sighing. "Now I'm full."

He glanced up at the clock on the wall, and when he noticed that it was already ten minutes until two, he sighed, giving her a curious glance.

"Where are you going for the rest of the day?" he asked, wondering what she had planned. "I've got some sort of a meeting at three."

"Yeah, I've got to be home by two thirty," she said, shrugging. "I babysit for the woman down the hall, since she works till six, so whenever I'm off, I look after her little boy, Brandon."

Something suddenly clicked with Derek, and he glanced down at her purse, which had yesterday contained Bob the Builder band-aids.

"Is that why you had cartoon band-aids in your purse?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, and she blushed, laughing.

"Yeah," she admitted, nodding her head. "He's a cute kid, but he's mischevious. He always manages to hurt himself doing the silliest of things."

Derek laughed along with her, relieved that he finally had some sort of a reason for why she had been carrying around kid's band-aids in her purse. He didn't get a chance to say anything else, because her cellphone started ringing, and she snapped it open quickly as Derek pushed his plate towards the end of the table. She stammered out a quick hello, and then listened for the person on the other end.

"He what?" she was saying, and Derek eyed her curiously as she frowned, her eyebrows scrunched together. "Oh, come on; you're kidding. I just had to the cab driver an extra fifteen bucks for having to turn around in lunchtime traffic, and... yes, yes I have a car, and it's in the garage."

Derek frowned, wondering who she was arguing with. Truth be told, he hadn't known she had taken a cab here, but he would have offered her a ride if he had of known this little fact. But he remained silent as she carried out her conversation with the other person.

"It's only an hour, can't you... by the time I get there... okay, mhm? You can handle it; are you sure?"

He watched as she listened, and then relief spread across her features, and she ran a hand through her hair, no longer looking as stressed. She thanked the person on the other line, before hanging up, rolling her eyes casually.

"Work thing," she excused, and while Derek nodded, he couldn't help but think that she was lying. Something in her voice just didn't seem right, at the moment. But again, he shoved it aside, and within the next ten minutes, they had paid their bills, and Derek was leading her out to his car, after convincing her to let him give her a ride home. He didn't want her wasting another twenty bucks on a cab ride home, when she didn't have to. Besides, he didn't mind the extra ten or fifteen minutes with her.

She got in on the passenger's side, and they both did up their seatbelts, before pulling out of the parking lot. She directed him in the direction of her apartment building, and he drove along the roads carefully, not wanting to rush in this heavy traffic.

When he pulled up in front of the apartment building, his first thought was that Casey didn't belong here. The apartment building was a tall brick one, and it looked fairly run down. It didn't exactly look poor, but it didn't look all that great either. Casey was a person who valued organization and peace and quiet, and this place didn't exactly give off the vibe of any of those things. There were a few children's bikes scattered out front, which he guessed belonged to the various occupants of the apartment building, and there was a fairly new playground off to the far right side of the building. A single hockey net with holes in the mesh net was knocked over at the end of the parking lot, and a teenage boy was standing outside on the front step, smoking as he let heavy metal music blast out of the old-school headphones that were hung around his neck.

Derek raised an eyebrow as he put the car in park, and he found himself glancing up at the tall buidling, frowning as a weird feeling came over him.

"So this is where you live?" he questioned, triyng not to sound too judgemental, or disappointed. She nodded, and he turned to her, his eyes serious. "How long have you been living here?"

She unbuckled her seatbelt as she shrugged her shoulders, picking her purse up off the floor of the car.

"A year or so, why?" she questioned, and he said nothing, merely shook his head, and glanced back down at the wheel. She hesitated, and she looked like she was going to question him further, but she decided against it, and sighed, reaching for the door handle.

"Thanks, Derek- for everything," she said, and when he nodded, she smiled. "Call me again, sometime?"

He managed out a real smile as he nodded his head, waving with one hand.

"Absolutely," he said, and without another word, she had closed the door, and was scurrying up towards the front door of the building, already rummaging for the key to her apartment. Derek waited until she had gotten past the sketchy looking teenager, and into the porch, before he stared up at the run down building one last time, and drove off towards his work.

- - - -

Vanessa wasn't pleased. Derek had been fifteen minutes late to his meeting, and as hard as Vanessa had tried to convince the manager representing some local band to stay, he had gotten fed up, and left about five minutes before Derek had arrived. So when he had gotten up to his office, he had been met with an angry fiancee, yelling at him about how he had just lost what could've been a great oppurtunity for Sony.

"Don't you understand that we've been trying to contact this band for like... two months?" she questioned, shaking her head as he hung his coat up on his coatrack, and shook his head in amusement at her ranting. "This is one of the hottest local bands right now, baby. Why don't you understand that? All the teenagers would've loved this. You just let go of what could've been an amazing contract."

Derek chuckled as he fell back into his chair, shaking his head as he flicked the monitor to his computer on, and jiggled the mouse to set it out of sleep mode.

"I didn't give up anything, babe," he assured her, his voice casual as he waited for his settings to load. "We've been trying to set up the _meeting_ for two months, but they came to us, not the other way around. Trust me, they'll play hard to get for a week, and the second I tell them that I'm considering signing on a different band, they'll come crawling back to us, apologizing for overreacting."

"But you don't _have_ another band to sign on right now!" she cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "Jesus, Derek. I sat in on the screening of all those demo tapes. None of them came close to our standard of talent, except these guys. There's no second option, here."

Derek smirked, raising an eyebrow as he winked at her mischeviously.

"They don't need to know that," he decided, and she rolled her eyes, recognizing that he was right, and that he knew just how to get people to come crawling back to him with their tail between their legs, like some sort of dog. She gave up, and shoko her head as she crossed the room, perching herself on the edge of his desk casually. He was flicking through his inbox, ignoring almost every message that he saw. Nobody real interesting had emailed him, and the important ones he wanted to save until later, when he didn't have Vanessa on his case.

"Where were you, anyways?" she asked, shaking her head at him in dismay. "Why were you so late?"

He didn't want to lie to her. He had kept things from her yesterday, and he already felt terrible about it. Vanessa was his fiancee, and she deserved to know that he had been with another girl. It was totally innocent, of course, but she had a right to know when her fiance was out with someone from his past, especially someone this important. He knew that she was a generally accepting girl, and he wasn't really worried about her reaction as he shrugged his shoulders, his eyes still fixed on the screen.

"I told you I was doing lunch with an old friend," he said, his voice non-chalant. "I went out to eat with Casey, if you must know."

Vanessa rolled her eyes, sighing as she glanced across the room, clearly frustrated with the man in front of her.

"You said dinner, actually, and..." she trailed off, as the meaning of what he had just told began to sink in, and she frowned. He almost laughed at her confusion, but knew that it would be inappropriate, so he merely bit the inside of his lip to keep from laughing out loud as she shook her head, bewildered.

"But you and her... she... you... you guys..."

Taking pity on her, Derek interjected, knowing she was having trouble with her words right now.

"I caught up with her yesterday at the cafe, after you left," he explained, deciding to make a long story short. "I haven't seen her in such a long time, and we wanted to do some catching up, so I asked her to come to lunch with me. I didn't think it'd be a big deal, and I honestly didn't mean to be late."

She was still staring at him blankly, and he felt his stomach swirl as he realized that she could potentially be angry over this. Hey, what woman wouldn't be angry over her fiance hanging out with the ex- love of his life? He knew that, if he were a woman, he might be.

"Babe?" he asked, waving a hand in front of her face as he stood up, and sighed. "Look, I know this is probably confusing, but... it's innocent, I promise you. Me and Casey are only friends. I don't see her in that way anymore, and I love you, you know that don't you?"

She finally snapped out of her trance as she nodded, giving a defeated shrug of the shoulders. It was obvious that she couldn't argue with him; not when he was being cute, and apologetic at the same time.

"As long as it's innocent, I guess it's okay..." she said, sounding slightly hesitant. "But so help me God, Venturi... if you're late for another meeting like this again, I'm going to absolutely massacre you. I may _still_ massacre you, if you can't get their manager to come back, so I suggest you get cracking on some phone calls, mister."

He grinned, kissing her quickly as he wrapped his arms around her waist, and hugged her quickly.

"Yes, M'am," he joked, and she slapped the side of his head playfully as he rolled his eyes, and went over to the phone, well prepared to do some fast talking, and get that manager back here before he got a good kick in the behind.

* * *

**Hehe, I love how you all think Casey's got a kid. Your minds are all working hard on picking up hints, I take it? Anyways, review, and I'll update again. Teh drama will start picking up in the next chapter, but the next two after it are the ones where the twist starts to work into things a little bit, so let's get to that soon, huh? And while Vanessa can seem sweet, I warn you that she will do anything to keep her reputation squeaky clean. **


	5. Diner Blues

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter Five: Diner Blues**

It had only taken Derek a grand total of two days to persuade the manager of that band to come back, and negotiate. They had set up a meeting for the third day, and by the end of it, Derek had that manager right where he wanted him. The man absolutely loved Derek, and seemed to be over the fact that he had been so late for the first meeting. Derek had apologized for how unprofessional that had been, and explained that he had gotten tied up in some lunchtime traffic. The man had understood, nodding and saying that it was okay, and that they'd all been there at one point or another. He'd left Sony BMG that day with a smile on his face, and Derek knew that he'd be getting a call from him soon, saying he wanted to sign his band on with Sony. They always said that they had to 'examine other offers', when they left, but they always called back. Derek knew the type, and he knew that nobody could turn away from such a great oppurtunity for their bands.

"Mmm, you did it," Vanessa said, coming up behind Derek, and leaning into his side. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hugging her closer to him, and she smiled up towards his face, clearly pleased.

"You did amazing with him," she said happily, looking up at him with a grin on her face. "He's so going to wind up calling you like... today. You've got him completely sold."

Derek grinned, kissing the side of her head. He was in an extremely good mood, considering the fact that he had just scored a hot band for his company. He knew that his boss would be extremely pleased with him, when he found out. Not that this was anything new. He was known for getting good deals for the company, and why should this time be any different? He knew that Vanessa was equally as happy with him, since this meant he was no longer going to criticized entirely for missing the first meeting.

"Of course I did amazing," he joked, smirking. "I'm Derek Venturi, aren't I? I always score all the hot prospects."

He turned, wrapping his arms around her waist, and pressing his forehead to hers.

"How do you think I got you to sign the contract?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her. "I mean, other than the fact that I'm amazingly sexy, and good-looking, and charming, and-"

"Wow, are you sure you aren't going to dump me and marry yourself? Because that's a pretty big ego you've got on the go, there."

He rolled his eyes, leaning down to press a simple kiss against her lips. He knew not to get too caught up in her while they were standing out in the hallway like this; they were supposed to act professional, after all, so he sighed, and pulled back with his arm around her waist carefully. She was looking up into his eyes, and for one brief moment, he felt a weird feeling wash over his stomach. Sure, her eyes had affection in them, and while he knew that this affection was all for him, it didn't feel as right as it usually did. He felt like something was missing, in the way she looked at him. Yeah, he knew that she loved him and everything, but the look in Casey's eyes had always contained something more than this. Did that mean that she had felt more strongly towards him than Vanessa did?

He felt a chill go up his spine as he realized that he was comparing his relationship with Vanessa to his old relationship with Casey. And really, that was something that he couldn't afford to be doing, right about now. He had to remain focused on Vanessa, and on his engagement to her, and while he wanted a strong friendship with Casey, he needed to learn how to distinguish between his old feelings for Casey, and where they were supposed to stand now that they were back in each other's lives. They were friends, and that was the way it had to stay.

Vanessa seemed to notice the way that his body had tensed, and how he was suddenly more distant from her. She pulled back a little, her eyes serious as she looked up at her fiance. She placed a hand on his chest in an attempt to reach him, or relax him, but all it did was distract him even further from her, because he was suddenly scared. He hadn't anticipated feelings like this creeping up, and he didn't like them, not one bit. He was devoted to Vanessa, and it had to stay that way.

"Derek, are you okay?" she asked, her voice concerned as she used her free hand to push his long brown hair away from his scared looking eyes. "Derek?"

He looked down at her, and shook his head, well aware of the fact that his face was probably the colour of paste, right about now, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He pulled away from her, pressing his hands against his face as he backed up into his office again, his legs shaking as he tried to keep himself upright and steady.

"I need some alone time," he said, and when he dropped his hands from his face, he saw that she looked hurt by this statement. He shook his head, clutching the doorknob gently in one of his hands, and he gave her a desperate, but pleading look.

"I'm sorry, babe, but it's not your fault, okay?" he said, trying to make his voice sound as convincing as possible. "Really, I'm not mad at you or anything; you did nothing wrong. I just don't feel well right now, and I think I need a few minutes to myself."

She hesitated, her eyes flickering over his features quickly as though she was trying to make sure he was not lying. And even though he technically was lying to her, she didn't sense it in the slightest, and if she did, she didn't let on about it. She merely swallowed hard, nodding her head as she ran a hand through her hair, and backed away. Her eyes were still concerned, and he knew that she was hurt by his actions, but he couldn't find it in himself to comfort her. He felt like he'd just wind up being an even bigger asshole, if he attempted to comfort the girl.

"Okay," she said as she backed away from his office. "If you need some time to yourself, I'll just go on downstairs to the studio a bit early; it's no big deal. I probably won't see you anymore today, since you're off at three today, and I'm going to be in the studio till at least five. So how about I give you a call when I get home, and we can make plans for that dinner date you promised my parents?"

It took Derek a moment to remember what she was talking about, but when he did, he snapped his fingers, nodding as he pointed a finger in her direction.

"Right, dinner," he said, and the tone of his voice gave away that he had completely forgotten about that. "We'll make plans around it later. Just call me when you get off, and let me know when your parents are free, and when you're free. I'll work my schedule around that."

She smiled, leaning forwards to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. When she pulled back, she looked alot more reassured than she had a moment before, and she nodded, waving happily at him as she backed up down the hall.

"Sounds good," she called out to him, as he watched her retreating form. "Talk to you later."

Derek sighed as he nodded at her, and turned around, shutting the office door behind him. He glanced over at his phone, eyeing it nervously. He could prove to himself that he could hang out with Casey, and not think a single thing about her that he didn't think about Vanessa. He _didnt'_ like Casey; he was over that part of his life. Seeing her again was just stirring up some old feelings, that was all. Give it a few weeks, and he'd recognize her as a good friend, he hoped. And then he wouldn't have to worry about comparing his current girl, to his old one.

- - - -

Derek drove up in front of Casey's apartment building the next evening at around six o'clock. He put the car in park as he dialed the number to her cellphone, and let it ring a couple of times. He turned the radio down so that she would be able to hear him clearly, and he glanced up at the tall building as he waited for her to answer. The same teenager from a few days before was standing outside smoking, and both his pose and his clothing suggested that he hadn't even moved, since then. He shuddered at the sight of the place that Casey was forced to call home, but was brought back to his attention as he heard Casey's rushed voice pick up the phone.

"Hello?" she got out, sounding stressed. He could hear some sort of noise, almost like talking or arguing, in the background, but he pushed it to the back of his mind as he strained his ears to hear her, and held the mouthpiece closer to his lips.

"Case, it's me," he said, trying to sound like he couldn't hear the noise in the background. "I'm down here now, if you're ready."

"What?" she questioned, sounding distracted. There was a slight crash, and she groaned with frustration. "Hold on a second, Derek."

He heard her attempt to cover up the mouthpiece, but it didn't exactly work, for he could still hear her words, even if they were slightly muffled.

"Justin, I'm- ow, okay, that's my hair, thank you; Monica, could you possibly- yeah, thanks."

Derek raised his eyebrows at the commotion, but tried to pretend like he hadn't heard a thing when she uncovered the mouthpiece of her phone, and returned to the conversation.

"Sorry about that," she said, sounding slightly hassled and out of breath. "I was at a... a neighbour's apartment, but I'm on my way downstairs now; I'll see you in a minute, alright?"

He quickly agreed, and hung up the phone, shaking his head as he thought to himself about just how complicated this girl was. She was always stammering out nervous replies, as though she was covering up something else, and he wasn't so sure how he felt about that. But he knew that he was being ridiculous; Casey was a horrible liar, and she would never be able to hide anything too big from him, right? Besides, what could she possibly be hiding? He knew everything he could possibly need to know about her, right? The major points, anyway.

A moment later, she appeared at the front door, and she rushed down to his car, and clambered into the passenger's seat. Derek frowned as she closed the door, and rushed to do up her seatbelt. Once the belt was safely in place, she finally turned to him, a rushed smile on her face as she took a deep breath, as though she hadn't breathed properly in a year.

"There we go," she said, grinning at him. "All set?"

Derek eyed her suspiciously, but nodded his head as he let his eyes travel down her body, and he couldn't help but notice that her shirt was bunched up near the right shoulder. There was a small streak of glitter on the side of her face, just barely covered by her hair, and he tilted his head, moving towards her slightly.

"Case, you've got glitter on your face," he said, and before she could say anything in her defense, he had reached over, and used his thumb to swipe the glitter away. She blushed under his touch, and he quickly fixed the wrinkle in her shirt, before looking up at her, smiling as he gave a slightly nervous nod.

"There you go."

"Thanks."

He nodded at her, and without another word, they were pulling out of the parking lot, and driving down the road towards the diner that they were going to for supper.

- - - -

They picked an inexpensive little place in downtown Toronto. Casey claimed that she knew the owner, and a few of the waitresses there, and that she had worked there part-time during university. He didn't feel the need to go anywhere too impressive, since they had gone to one of the most expensive places around, last time. But nonetheless, he tried to be a gentleman as he held the door open for her, and allowed her to go on in ahead of him.

They were quickly ushered into a booth by a young boy who looked no older than seventeen, and he handed them both the plastic-covered menus, before hurrying off, but not before telling them that someone would come by shortly to take their orders.

Derek stared after the squirrely kid, shaking his head as he laughed gently.

"The kid had too much sugar, that's for sure," he said, and she rolled her eyes as she turned to her menu, scanning through it quickly. She decided on a plate of curly fries, and a veggie burger, and soon after, Derek decided on the double cheeseburger meal, which came with curly fries. He also added a side of onion rings to his order, and when the woman came by to write down what they each wanted, she looked shocked by Derek's order, though she said nothing about it.

"Oh, by the way, Viv," Casey added, smiling up at the woman as she handed her menu back to her. "Can I get a diet coke, please?"

"Sure thing, hon," the woman, who looked to be at least forty, said. She gave the two of them a smile, and winked at Casey, raising an eyebrow. "Got a new man, Case?"

Casey blushed, and even Derek felt uncomfortable as he averted his gaze to the table, squirming slightly as Casey quickly explained that Derek was just a friend, and that they were just out to dinner.

"Derek, this is Vivian, by the way," she said, as though desperately wanting to change the subject. "She's been working here for fifteen years. She's awesome; I worked with her when I was here."

"She sure did," Vivian said, laughing as she tucked her pen behind her ear. "Casey here is an absolute sweetheart."

Derek smiled awkwardly, nodding in agreement with Vivian's statement, but unable to say much else, considering the fact that he felt awkward enough, right now. He wasn't sure how he felt about Vivian; she was nice, yeah, but she seemed so upbeat, for Derek's speed.

The thought was quickly shoved from his mind as he heard a sharp intake of breath from the waitress, and she turned to Casey with an excited grin on her face.

"Oh, I've been meaning to tell you," she suddenly said, laughing carelessly as she gave Casey a happy look. "I saw Justin the other day, in the park. His class was on a field trip there, or something. He was waving at me, but by the time I waved back, he had looked away again. I swear, sometimes the kid has the attention span of lint."

Casey's eyes darted over to Derek's, and she gave a nervous laugh, her face turning a deep shade of red as she watched Derek frown, his eyes narrowed at her slightly. Something definitely wasn't right here. The vibe that he was getting from Casey felt awkward, and he could tell that she was scared, right about now. Her hands, which were resting on top of the table, were shaking slightly, and she seemed desperate to get the woman to leave them alone. And who was this Justin that Vivian was talking about? Hadn't that been the name that Casey had used on the phone earlier, when she had been arguing with someone in the background?

"Yeah, he's a weird kid, sometimes," Casey laughed, her voice shaking miserably. "I'm sure he didn't mean to turn away, though. You know what he's like. But how about that diet soda, huh?"

The waitress didn't appear to have heard the final part of Casey's statement, because when Casey raised her eyebrows hopefully at her, in hopes of changing the topic, she merely laughed again, shaking her head.

"Yeah, he's a weird kid, but he's pretty darn cute," she said, sighing as she glanced down at her pad of paper, scribbling down the rest of their order. "That's one amazing son you've got there, Casey. You should be so proud of him."

And that was when everything clicked, for Derek. The band-aids in her purse, having to be home by two thirty in the afternoon, not being able to go out for dinner... even the glitter and the wrinkled shirt made sense now. Casey had a kid. More specifically, Casey had a son- a son that she hadn't wanted to tell Derek about, apparantly. He didn't know what to think, for his brain was a whirlwind of emotions and mixed up thoughts as he struggled to grasp onto the fact that Casey had a _child_.

By the time he looked up, he saw that the waitress was long gone, and Casey was staring at him with terror, absolutely nerve-wracked about what he was going to say to her. Her face was red, and her eyes filled with fear as she shook her head at him, looking like she had just been slapped across the face.

"Derek," she started, but he shook his head at her, his eyes narrowed, and his voice dangerously low as he spoke up.

"You lied to me, Casey," he said, unable to accept the fact that he had been deceived by a girl he had trusted so much. "You told me you weren't with anyone. Why the hell would you try and trick me, like that? Are you like... married, or something?"

She stared at him for a moment, her mouth hanging open slightly as she realized something. He didn't trust the look in her eyes as her eyebrows furrowed together, and she shook her head at him, closing her mouth into a tight-lipped frown.

"Derek, I... you... we," she paused, taking a deep breath, as though this was hard on her. She looked him right in the eye, her tone determined. "Justin's your son, Derek."

Derek's heart stopped beating then, he knew. His mouth went dry, and everything around him started spinning as he tried to process what his ex-girlfriend had just said to him. He had a son. He had a child. He was a father. No matter how many ways he worded it, in his mind, nothing sounded right. He just couldn't get the thought through his mind. He had spent the past seven years thinking that his relationship with Casey had just ended, when really, a part of it had gone on, in their son. To Derek, this was too surreal to even attempt to think about.

"I'm... he's my... I'm his... _what_?" he stammered out, his voice scared, confused, angry and hurt all at once. He couldn't believe what she was telling him; this all had to be some big joke. Maybe everyone was in on it. The waitress, Casey... whoever. It just couldn't be the truth.

Casey drew in a deep breath, trying to act strong as she looked him in the eye, unable to mask her fear.

"You have a son," she said, and her voice sounded a little stronger, this time. "His name is Justin Venturi, and he's six years old. I... I was a month pregnant when we broke up, and I didn't find out for another two weeks after that, when I was already in California. I... I went through the first few months of university pregnant, and wound up having Justin towards the end of the school year."

He was staring at her, his mouth open, and his eyes wide. How the hell was he even supposed to respond to that? She sensed his shock, and she shook her head, grabbing her purse off the floor next to her.

"But you know what?" she questioned, shoving her belongings into her purse as quickly as possible. He could hear restrained tears in her voice now, and even in his shock, he felt bad for her. "I was stupid to think that you wouldn't find out, but I don't need you involved. We're doing just fine, me and him, and trust me when I say that this is really something you don't want to be getting involved in; you'll regret it."

She stood up, shrugging into her jacket, and giving him one last apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, Derek," she said, shaking her head with tears in her eyes. "It was stupid for us to try and be friends again. I should've known this wouldn't work, and I'm sorry for keeping this a secret from you for so long."

She turned, and started running towards the door. Derek stood up, his palms flat against the table as he stared after her, shaking his head.

"Casey, wait!" he called out, finally finding his voice.

But the door had already slammed behind her, the sound of it echoing painfully through his already aching ears, ones that had heard way too much for one day.

* * *

**It feels rushed, but I really wanted to get this chapter out tonight, because it might be a bit of a wait for the next chapter. I am in a show, and will be doing performances all next week, so finding time to write could be hard, but I will try and do as best as I can. Reviews may help me write faster, hint hint! Haha, and by the way, I promise this is not the classic "Derek has a kid" story. There is a twist. **


	6. Scream

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Six: Scream**

Derek didn't deal with frustration very well. He had staged phases, usually beginning with mere confusion, immediately followed by self-aimed anger, followed by more yelling, and if he was lucky, acceptance with a slight glimpse of logical thinking. And right now, he was somewhere in between all three of them, however that worked. He was confused as to how Casey had managed to hide this bit of information from him for such a long time. After all, nobody in his family, except maybe Marti, was good at keeping secrets. Why hadn't anyone told him? Why wouldn't _Casey_ have told him? Maybe she'd been scared of how he would react, since they had been broken up by then, but for some reason, he doubted it. She would've known that he would've been there for her, no matter what. They had held such a strong relationship, back then.

And besides, he deserved to know! He had a son! He had been a father for the past six years or so, and nobody had thought to let him know; nobody had seen it as important to inform him of this.

He sighed as he pressed his hands against the steering wheel, and stared up at his parent's house with a tortured look on his face. He had wanted to go directly to Casey's apartment after she had run out on him, in the diner. He had quickly slapped twenty five dollars down on the table, to cover the cost of the meal they had already ordered, but never eaten, and he had torn out into the streets after her. But they had been so busy with evening passerbyers, that it was impossible to find the girl. He had called her cell a couple of times, but she was flat out ignoring his calls, obviously knowing exactly what he wanted. She must realize that he had about a thousand questions for her, but it was obvious that she didn't want to answer any of them, just yet. He hoped that she would, eventually, but he didn't want to crowd her. And besides, he wasn't sure that he was ready to face her just yet, after everything that had just happened.

So he had gone to the next best source; their parents. He knew that they must have known about this kid, since Casey had obviously gotten help from somewhere. Besides, Derek knew full well that Lizzie and Nora made frequent trips to Toronto to visit Casey, because they usually stopped into Derek's apartment on the way back, to see how he was doing. He didn't see the family nearly as much as he would want to, and in a way, not knowing about Justin could have been justified. He could've pointed the blame at himself, knowing that he had been the one who had cut contact with his family so slim. But he decided to go ahead and question them anyway, to see what they knew.

Sighing, he pulled the keys out of the egnition, and pocketed them. He swung the door to his car open, and slammed it shut again as he walked casually up the steps leading to the front door, already feeling sick to his stomach with nerves. What if they weren't home? What if they didn't even know anything, and he was about to cause alot of trouble? What if they didn't want to tell him?

Knowing that he was being silly, and that he couldn't help whatever reaction he got from the parents, he pushed the front door open, taking a step into the house. He had only stepped into the front porch, when he heard a tiny gasp, and he felt arms being thrown around his neck, squeezing him tightly. He nearly fell backwards, but caught himself as he wrapped his arms around a fourteen year old Marti's waist, hugging her tightly against him. He missed her, he could admit that; he always missed his baby sister.

"Hey," he whispered, feeling happiness brim up in him, despite his circumstances. "Nice to see you too."

Marti squealed, grinning as she pulled back to examine her older brother with excitement. Derek glanced over her appearance quickly, wanting to laugh. Same old Marti. She had purple streaks in her black hair now, and her eyeshadow was purple, to match. Her clothes were sort of an alternative style, though he wouldn't exactly call her goth, or emo. On the contrary, Marti was one of the most bright and enthusiastic teenagers in her school. She made friends easily, and he had seen her hanging out with cheerleaders, nerds, punks, goths... the works. There wasn't a single person that Marti could not get along with, aside from Brittany Cole, her sworn enemy since the second grade. Marti frequently rambled about the girl to her brother, through lengthy phone conversations that would wind up keeping Derek up hours after he should've been asleep. But he never said anything against it, because it was Marti- his baby sister, and he loved her.

"I can't believe you're home," she said, laughing happily. "What are you doing here? You always call like... at least a few hours in advance."

Derek nodded, throwing his coat onto the coatrack as he went right on into the house, glancing around at the all too familiar settings, that had barely changed since he had lived here. The pictures on the wall were the only real signs that time had passed, at all. The furniture was the same, the little knick-knacks that Nora was so fond of were still littered around the room in no apparant order, and it still had the same pale walls as it always had.

"I know I usually call first, but this was important," he said, as he perched himself on the edge of the couch. "Is Dad or Nora around? I need to talk to them."

"We're right here," George said, walking into the living room with a grin on his face, behind a grinning and excited Nora. She was coming towards her stepson with outstretched arms, but before she could do anything, Derek had shaken his head, holding up a hand to stop her.

"I just came from having dinner with Casey," he said, and they all froze as they looked at him, shocked by what he had just said. It occured to him that the family hadn't even known that him and Casey were friends again. As far as they knew, the two hadn't spoken since the day they had broken up, seven years ago. He guessed that it must have been a pretty big surprise for them, but right now, he didn't care about whether or not he had shocked them. He had gotten the biggest shock of his life today, and nothing could ever compare to being told that you had unknowingly been a father for the past seven years.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly with anger as he glared at the lot of them, even Marti. "Huh? Don't give me those stupid looks, because I know that you all know perfectly well what I'm talking about. And if you don't, let me refresh your memory. Justin Venturi? The kid that's been living with Casey for six years now? Your grandson, and apparantly my _son_?"

Nora and George turned deep shades of red, and shared hesitant looks, as though they really didn't want to explain this to Derek, or to anyone for that matter.

"Derek," George started, clearing his throat as he held up a cautious hand, knowing that his son had a tendency of overreacting, and jumping to the worst of conclusions. He had a reputation for such things, and it was obvious that George didn't really want Derek to go off on some tirade, and storm off before they had a chance to say anything.

"There's alot you've got to understand," he said, sounding worried. "Casey never meant to hurt you by keeping this from you, and neither did we. We told her it wasn't a good idea to keep this from you in the first place, but she was determined to not let you find out, and... we really didn't want to go against her wishes. She was scared to even tell us that she was pregnant."

"I don't care what you say," Derek said, shaking his head. "Justin is my son too. I would've held just as much right to know about him as Casey did. She has a responsibility to let me know that she's raising my child, and as my family, I feel like you guys should shoulder some of that responsibility too. But apparantly, I'm dealing with nothing but irresponsibility, in my life. Because that's all this is; irresponsible."

Nora, who had remained silent throughout the duration of George and Derek's argument, finally took a step forwards, trying hrt best to look comforting. Derek was angry, but Nora's maternal instincts must still be pretty effective, because he found that he couldn't be as angry with her. In fact, she almost calmed him down a little bit.

"You're right, when you say that we have a responsibility to tell you," Nora confirmed, nodding her head. "You're absolutely right about that one. We should've told you, but we never, and there's no sense in you yelling at us now for not telling you. What's done is done, we know we've made mistakes, and we know we should've told you. We've always wanted to tell you... but there's no sense dwelling on any of this right now. I know that you're angry, but doesn't it make more sense to move forwards- to figure all of this out, rather than freeze us out of your life for our mistakes?"

Derek bit his lip, staring at her for a moment. She was absolutely right, and he knew it, but a part of him just wanted to keep on yelling, and express how angry he was with his family. He felt like he had a right to lash out, for at least another little while. It was a rare occasion when he was completely justified in freaking out like this, and he wanted to make the most of that. But he knew that his stepmother's words were correct, and that no amount of yelling in the world was ever going to change the fact that they hadn't told him, and there was no going back. What's done was done, and he needed a hell of alot of answers. Yelling wasn't going to get him any of those answers.

So, as much as he wanted to keep on yelling at them, and make them feel bad for what they'd done, he swallowed his pride, and nodded his head, reluctance in his eyes.

"Fine," he said, his voice forced. "I guess you're right. Getting angry isn't going to change anything, right about now. I mean, no amount of excuses can forgive why you didn't tell me about this. Nobody deserves to have something like this kept from them. But I need you to answer me some questions, and I'm not going to get any answers by getting mad."

They all looked relieved, and Marti bit her lip, staring down at the floor as she remained perched on the arm of the couch closest to her older brother.

"Don't think this means I'm not still mad," he pointed out to them, and Nora nodded, looking more relieved by the minute.

"Wouldn't dream of it," she said, and he sighed, running a hand through his hair softy. Where to even begin? He had so much he wanted to know, and no idea how to put these concerns and wonders into actual words, so that he could verbally express them. All the thoughts and questions were running through his mind faster than he could process them, and he couldn't even get a word out.

He blew out a slow and patient breath, trying to put himself in a state of mind to listen, instead of anger. He bit his lip as he stared down at the floor, his arms folded across his chest. The three other people in the room were all watching him intently, waiting for him to say or do something else, but he couldn't even gather up the courage to say anything, just yet. What was he _supposed _to say? There was so much to be figured out, and so few words coming to mind.

"How long have you known?" he asked, deciding to start with the basics. "When did Casey come to you with this? Was it after he was born, or when she was still pregnant?"

Nora took a few steps towards Derek, and clutched onto his sleeve as she sat on the couch, pulling him down next to her. He didn't protest, for he was too busy watching her for any sign of speech.

"She went off to California for school in July of that year," Nora started, glancing up at her husband, who was standing behind his son quietly. Her eyes returned to Derek's as she continued. "She was six weeks pregnant when she found out, and she was too scared to tell anyone. I mean, she'd just shoved you out of her life, so coming back to you seemed pretty useless. She didn't want to tell us because she figured we'd be ashamed of her, and I think she was scared that the last people she had left in her life would've abandoned her. She told Lizzie, because she knew that Lizzie wouldn't tell anyone. Anyway, she kept making excuses so that she wouldn't have to come home for Christmas, but finally, she caved and just showed up."

"And she was... what?" Derek questioned, counting of the months in his head. "Six months pregnant, then?"

"Roughly," Nora confirmed, nodding her head. "So she explained to us what had happened, and we tried to convince her to tell you, we really did. We told her that you'd support her, and that she needed someone to help her, besides us, but she wouldn't listen. You had just gotten your apprenticeship at Sony, and I don't think she wanted to interfere with that. She was crying, and begging us not to go off and tell you..."

"So you never," he said, sighing. "You kept it from me."

Nora nodded, smiling sadly at the mistake they had all made, in the past.

"Yeah, we kept it from you," she said, sounding like she really did regret it. "We knew what you'd do if you found out about the baby. You'd drop the apprenticeship that you were so happy over getting, and you'd give everything up to move out to California with Casey. And she didn't want you to give anything up for her, so she wound up going back to California, and having the baby in March."

"Wait a second, in California?" he asked, frowning. "So... was she alone, at the hospital? Didn't anyone go with her? Why didn't she come home, around the last month of pregnancy? She shouldn't have gone through that alone."

Derek thought of Casey, alone and scared in a hospital bed, waiting to give birth to the child that she had been left to raise all by herself. She had only been eighteen or nineteen, then, and Derek knew that she would definitely have been scared. He cringed at the thought of her having that baby, and then going home to do it all by herself.

"Her friend Jennifer was at the hospital," George said, and although this wasn't really what Derek had wanted, he supposed it made him feel a bit better. "She kept Casey company, and called us every couple of hours to let us know what was going on, since Casey was in labour for a pretty long time. But I think she felt more alone than she let on. l really think she wanted one of us, or you, to be there with her. But... she was in a different country, it was hard."

Derek was privately disagreeing with everything his father said. How hard would it have been to get on a plane and go to California? Sure, it'd cost money, but he would've done it, if it had meant that Casey would've had someone to be there with her, in the hospital. But he supposed that he just thought differently than them, so he let it go as he sighed, and put his head in his hands, trying to let all of this information soak into his mind, where it could eventually make some sort of sense.

"When is his birthday?" he asked, realizing that they hadn't said the exact day, only the month. "What day in March?"

"The seventh," Nora said, smiling a little bit. "He just turned six about a month and a half ago. He's the cutest little boy you'll ever see, Derek."

Derek was suddenly interested, and he found himself wondering the smaller details about his son. Now that he had the basics covered, like why nobody had told him about the kid, he wanted to know more. He wanted to know what he had missed, and what this kid was like.

"What does he look like?" he asked, his voice quieter as he looked back and forth between his stepmother, and his father. "Does he look like me at all?"

George and Nora looked at each other, each of them smiling a little bit as they realized that Derek was actually happy about this. And he could admit that the feeling he was experiencing right now was true happiness. He had a _son_. Sure, it was... unexpected, but he was excited to meet this kid, learn more about him, and get to know him. He'd always loved kids, and although he hadn't given it any real thought, he was pretty sure that he'd actually like being a father.

"He looks alot like you," George answered, in response to Derek's question. "He's got Casey's eyes, and his face is the same shape as hers, but he's got your hair, and your nose, and... well, why don't I just show you a picture?"

George crossed the room then, walking towards the bookshelf, and only then did Derek realize that there were pictures of a smaller boy lining the bookshelf in various places. He couldn't see the pictures very well from across the room, but it was easy to see that they were of a small boy, and they definitely hadn't been there before. He assumed that his family would take the pictures down whenever he called to say he was coming over, or something. Maybe he just hadn't been observant enough, but right now none of it mattered. He found his hand reaching out for the picture that his father was holding out to him, and he grasped it in his hold, swallowing hard as his eyes locked with his father's. George gave him a tiny nod, and Derek took a deep breath, looking down at the unframed picture nervously.

He knew instantly that his stepmother was absolutely right; Justin had to be the cutest kid he'd ever seen, and that even included Marti. He was tan, a look that suited him well. His hair color was the exact same as Derek's- a soft sandy brown, and it fell around his ears and his eyes in the same way that Derek's always did. He even had that little flip on the ends of it, the one that would never go away. His eyes, like George had said, were a mirror image of Casey's- dazzling blue, and that little spark of curiousity that Derek loved, mixed with a hint of a mischevious streak that Derek couldn't help but smile at. His face was the shape of Casey's, but his nose and mouth were just like Derek's. Honestly, if anyone took a look at the boy and said he wasn't Derek and Casey's son, they'd be mental, because he was a perfect combination of the both of them. The kid was missing two teeth, one on the bottom left, and one on the top right, and he was grinning happily at the camera. He appeared to be in some sort of classroom, stacking blocks up into a tower as he glanced over his shoulder at the camera.

And that's when it hit him. This was his son. This was no joke; it was absolutely, one hundred percent real. The boy he was looking at now was his own child, someone he never even knew exsisted until today. The thought was so unreal to him, but at the same time, he felt proud of the fact that this was his kid.

"Derek?" his father questioned, raising an eyebrow, as he had been quiet for quite some time.

Derek looked up through the brown strands of hair that fell in front of his eyes, and only then did he realize that he had been staring at the picture for well over a minute and a half, now. Nobody had broken the silence, wanting to respect that he wanted a moment to examine the photograph, but George had to wonder what Derek was feeling right now.

"What do you think?" he asked, a hopeful look in his eyes as they all waited for him to respond.

Derek could barely think straight as he looked at each member of the family, and back to the photograph again. He only let his gaze rest there for a brief moment, before looking back up at his father, a tiny grin on his lips.

"He's perfect."

- - - -

Derek bit his lip as he stared at the doorway of Casey's apartment. The little metal plate that was attached to the door read 'thirty-nine', when he knew reflected her apartment number. The door was an ugly shade of pale yellow, and the paint was chipped significantly. The hallway had the distinct scent of an old lady's house, for some reason or another. He was beginning to think that it may have been coming from the apartment down the hall- the one that had tacky ornaments splashed across the door magnificently, it's ugly bright colors hurting his eyes. He tried to look away from them, and focus on Casey's apartment. He only knew the number because he had bumped into a woman downstairs, and asked where Casey McDonald lived. She had kindly given him the number, and had gone on her way. But now that he was up here, he was scared to even knock on the door to try and talk to Casey. He had planned it all out in his head on the way over here, but it was all gone now. He had no idea what to say to her, how to tell her how he felt about this whole thing. It was all such a big mess, to him. The happiness he had felt before was long gone, and now, he was just scared.

"Man yourself up a bit, Venturi," he muttered, ashamed of himself. "You can do it."

Drawing in a deep breath, he pushed back all of his fear, and raised his fist to the door swiftly, knocking twice. The TV, which had been playing all along, suddenly stopped, and he knew that she had heard him. He waited anxiously as he listened to her footsteps come closer and closer to the door, each one getting just a little bit louder than the last.

Before he could even give himself a chance to prepare, the door was open, and Casey was glancing out at him curiously, her forehead wrinkled as she frowned at him, confused. It was obvious that she really hadn't expected him here tonight, for the look in her eyes was one of absolute shock.

"Derek?" she questioned, and before she could shove him away, he had stepped inside her apartment, pressing his back up against the door to close it. She took a step backwards, frowning, and he let his eyes travel over her quickly, seeing that she had changed. She had on a pair of black gym pants with the word 'Princess' written across the back, and her university hoodie, from when she had been in California. It was big on her, and Derek wondered if that was because she had been pregnant, at the time, and had ordered a larger one to fit her. He pushed the thought aside as he sighed, giving her a hopeful look.

"Don't kick me out, please," he begged, and by the look on her face, he knew that was exactly what she had been about to do. "I know you don't want to see me right now. For whatever reason, you don't want me involved in this, and I don't understand why. But I... I think it could work, Case. I want to make it work."

Her face paled, and her eyes widened slightly as she gave him a weird look, sending chills up and down his spine.

"Make what work, Derek?" she asked, her voice shaky as she waited anxiously for his answer.

He felt his cheeks go red as he realized she had probably gotten the wrong meaning from his words, and thought that he meant that _they_ could work. As he thought this, he realized that he hadn't even spared poor Vanessa a single thought all night, or afternoon, and that she was probably calling his cellphone anxiously, worried about where he was. But his phone had gone dead halfway back from London, and really, he didn't have time to talk to her tonight. There was way too much already going on.

"Make... make, er... I mean, I could help you with Justin, you know? I didn't mean..."

"Right," she said quickly, bowing her head as her hair fell, framing her face. "Obviously, of course. I knew that."

"Yeah," he said quickly, wanting to get through this awkward patch as quickly as he possibly could. "But seriously, I want to help."

She shook her head, folding her arms across her chest as though she was scared of something. Her eyes were distant, and it seemed almost as though she was staring right through him, as though he wasn't even there. He felt invisible to her, and when she spoke up, her voice was hollow and void of emotion.

"You can't get involved in this, Derek," she said quietly, frowning. "This is something you really need to stay out of. Trust me when I say that we're going to do just fine without you."

Derek got angry then. Why the hell was Casey acting like this? She may have been the only one around for the duration of Justin's life, but that was only because she hadn't bothered to tell Derek he had a son. If he had only known, he would've been there through everything. He would've helped her every step of the way, and if she didn't know that, she wasn't as intelligent as he thought she was.

"Justin's my son too, Casey," he said bitterly, his eyes narrowed at her. "I have just as much right as you do to be around him. You may have hidden him from me for seven years, but that doesn't mean that he's not my son. You can't just claim him. He's a kid, not a belonging."

"That's not what this is about," she said, her voice shaking as she took a step backwards. "You're way out of line here, and I'd appreciate it if you'd leave. You may not believe me, but I can tell you with full confidence that you're going to regret this."

"Regret _what_, Casey?" he practically yelled, as her eyes widened. "Jesus Christ, you make absolutely no sense!"

He felt her hand cover his mouth, and he looked down to see that she was shaking her head at him, looking panicked. He blinked carefully, and she slowly lowered her hand from his mouth, looking cautious, as though she thought he was going to suddenly start yelling again.

"Justin's asleep," she said, and despite the circumstances, he felt bad. He didn't want to wake up the poor kid. "It took me an hour to get him to bed after the babysitter left, and all it's going to take is a little bit of noise to wake-"

But she fell silent as she heard the creak of a door opening, and the sound of tiny footsteps padding ever so softly down the hallway and towards the main room, where the kitchen and living room met. Casey turned to him as the foosteps grew closer, shaking her head.

"Please leave, Derek."

He stared at her, squinting as he shook his head. There was something he really didn't like about this; there was something wrong. Her tone of voice was actually desperate, and he knew that her desire for him to leave was a strong one. Why did she want him gone so badly? Did she really have that little faith in him; did she honestly think he'd be that terrible of a father?

He didn't get a chance to say anything that was on his mind, because a moment later, a little boy in royal blue pajamas with yellow spaceships on it. Derek recognized the boy instantly, and even if he hadn't of seen the picture before he came, he would've been able to know that this was his and Casey's child; he was absolutely a perfect combination of their features. His eyes were only half open as he stumbled towards his mother, biting on his lower lip as he struggled to stay awake.

Derek was completely silent at the sight of his son, and Casey seemed really anxious, now. She was shaking a little, and he could've sworn that there was something she wanted to tell him.

But before she had a chance to speak, Justin had looked up, and caught sight of the man standing in front of his mother. Derek knew that Justin probably wouldn't know who he was, but he sort of wished that Casey would've shown the kid pictures, or something. He tried not to be too disappointed when Justin said nothing about the man in front of him, and merely stood next to his mother, blinking once or twice. Derek's mouth was dry, and he could think of absolutely nothing to say. He supposed a 'hello' would be a good start, but he couldn't even strike up the courage to get that one little word out.

Justin stepped towards Derek a little bit, his eyes fixed on his face, and Derek felt himself tense slightly as Casey kneeled down, and caught her son quickly around the waist, pulling him back to her. She had a secure hold on him, and the boy only struggled for a moment to get to Derek, before giving up, and allowing his mother to hold him back.

She looked up at him, and if she hadn't been pleading before, she was absolutely, one hundred percent desperate by now. Her hair fell around her eyes in messy strands, and she spoke up, her voice timid and broken.

"I'm begging you," she said, almost a whisper. "Leave."

For a brief moment, he considered it. She was desperate, and he really was starting to freak out here. There was something going on, and he suddenly wasn't too sure he wanted to know what it was. But he knew that, in the future, he'd regret turning his back and walking away from his son, so he forced himself to shake his head defiantly, standing his ground.

"No," he said harshly, and she cringed as he took a step forwards, finally gathering enough courage to say something. He cleared his throat, clenching and unclenching his fists as he tried to speak. When the words came out, he realized his voice sounded nervous, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Hi Justin," he said, and the little boy didn't make a sound, or turn his head as Casey waited anxiously for something, anything, to happen. Derek winced, wondering why he was getting no answer from the boy.

And just as he was about to question it, he saw Casey's hold on the boy slip, as he pushed through his mother's arms, and ran across the living room, letting out a high-pitched scream as he went.

* * *

**So most of you can guess what is going on by now, but if you can't, it's okay because it will all be revealed in the next chapter anyway. I may get another chapter out before the weekend, but I explained this situation to you guys before, so please be patient. I'll be back on track next week. Review, and I shall update!**


	7. Giving it Time

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Seven: Give it Time**

To say that Justin's reaction to his father was a shock to Derek would've been an understatement, big time. He couldn't understand for the life of him why the kid was reacting like he was. After he had screamed, and ran off, he had curled himself up on the couch, and wrapped his arms around his knees. And he hadn't moved since. He was making some sort of weird noise, and Derek found himself frowning as Casey rolled her eyes, and rushed across the room to sit next to the boy. Her arm wrapped around his shoulder as she whispered something to him, trying to calm him down. Derek squirmed nervously, having absolutely no idea what was going on, and feeling awkward and un-needed in this situation. He could only watch as Casey whispered careful words to the little boy, as Justin continued to eye Derek uneasily. He felt like something had to be said, because he was beginnng to feel very awkward.

"Why is he acting like this?" he got out, his voice half curious, half offended. "I thought you said he was six years old. Why is he still having fits like that?"

Casey looked up, shooting her ex-boyfriend a glare, and for a moment, it was almost like she had forgotten that he was there. Her eyes were glazed over slightly, as though her attention had been focused one hundred percent and completely on her little boy. But she tried her best to address him as she shook her head, frowning at him.

"Be quiet, Derek," she said, and the lines of his frown only deepened; who was she to tell him to be quiet? He tried not to take offense to it as she motioned for him to wait a second, and she took Justin's hand, and tried to get him to stand up with her. He was reluctant, but he pulled himself up with the help of his mother, and took cautious babysteps next to her, towards Derek. Derek waited anxiously, clenching and unclenching his fists by his sides to get rid of some nerves. Justin eyed Derek, looking scared, and he tried to make himself look as inviting and friendly as humanely possible.

Casey kneeled down next to him, forcing a smile as she glanced up at Derek nervously.

"Justin," she started, as he bit his lip in anticipation. "Hey, look at me for a second. This is your Daddy, Justin."

Derek tried to smile, but the fact that Justin was looking anywhere but at his father was somewhat offensive, to him. He had his eyes fixed on the ceiling right now, and Derek could've been wrong, but he was pretty sure that looking at the ceiling had notihng to do with him. In fact, if he hadn't of witnessed Justin running off on him, he'd almost think that the boy didn't see him at all. It was like he didn't even exsist, in the kid's eyes.

Casey seemed disappointed by Justin's lack of interest, but she didn't even seem to be too surprised at it. It was like she hadn't even expected Justin to say anything to his father. Derek was beginning to suspect that something was going on here. Why was the kid so freaking anti-social, especially towards his own father? It wasn't like he had a reason not to like him; it wasn't Derek's fault that he hadn't been involved in Justin's life for six years- that had been as a result of Casey's mistakes, not his own. His only mistake had been letting her go in the first place. He should've fought harder for her, but that was all in the past, and he couldn't change it now. Besides, he was with Vanessa; he just wanted to get to know his son, and rebuild a friendship with Casey, not get back together with her.

"Justin, look at me for a second," Casey murmered quietly, her hands wrapped around his wrists as gently as possible as she tried to get him to look into her eyes. "Hey, look at me please."

The little boy finally seemed to realize he was being spoken to, but the look that he finally gave his mother was not one of comprehension; it was a look that was entirely void of emotion. It was like he wasn't even comprehending a single word she was saying to him. He blinked, and Derek couldn't even understand why Casey bothered sending him a tiny smile as she smoothed his hair away from his forehead, and tried her best to sound comforting.

"Someone's here to see you, baby," she said quietly, as their eyes locked together instantly. "It's your Daddy. Do you remember I told you about him?"

Justin merely blinked at her, and while Derek considered this to be nothing more than a tiny eye movement, Casey seemed to get a different meaning out of it, and she smiled, ruffling his hair gently. She stood up, taking her son's hand as gently as possible in her own, and she gulped nervously as she took a step towards Derek, her eyes filled with fear. Derek suddenly didn't trust the situation, and as he noticed that Justin was staring off into space again, he felt a sick feeling in the bottom of his stomach. Something was definitely not right about this. The boy hadn't even spoken a word yet. How was that normal? Any other six year old would have given him a headache, by now. But not Justin.

"Well," Casey started, glancing down at her son quickly, and looking back up with him. "You said you wanted to meet him... so here he is. This is Justin, Derek. He's your son."

Their eyes locked, and he squinted as she drew in a deep breath, looking absolutely terrified.

"He also happens to be autistic," she said, and as Derek felt his heart drop, he saw Casey's face do the same at his reaction. "I hope that's not a problem with you."

Derek's mouth went dry, and he couldn't even summon up the courage to answer her. How the hell was he supposed to respond to someone telling him that the biggest shock of his life hadn't even been the real shocker, here?

- - - -

"Why didn't you tell me?" Derek questioned, shaking his head as he stared off at the floor, his hands lying on top of his lap pointlessly. "God, Casey... right from the beginning. What were you planning on doing, huh? Keeping this from me for the rest of my life? Hoping that I'd never find out we had a kid together? God dammit, you're so stubborn sometimes."

"I told you," she said, her voice shaky as she explained this for what felt like the thousandth time that day. "I saw how successful you were becoming. You'd just got taken on by Sony, you had a gauranteed future ahead of you... and I didn't want to wreck any of it for you. I mean, you were on your way to such a happy life, and I knew that if I told you about the baby, you'd give it all up and come to stay with me. And don't you dare argue with me and say that you wouldn't have, because we both know that that's exactly what would've happened."

He had already opened his mouth to argue when she said that, but she closed her mouth and decided to remain quiet, when she recognized that she was right, and there was no point in trying to convince her otherwise. No matter how much he loved his job, he would've given it up in a heartbeat, back then, if it had only meant that he got to help her out. He had still been so crazy about her back then, that he knew he would've been happy for an excuse to go back, and be with her again.

"Okay, so maybe you're right about that," he admitted, shrugging. "I would've gone back to you. But that doesn't mean that what you did was right. I got you pregnant, I should've had to face the consequences just like you did."

Casey's eyes flickered over to the kitchen table, where Justin was contently colouring a picture in a coloring book that Casey had found for him, to keep him occupied. He kept getting bored with it, but he would just flip to a new page, and be happy again. It amazed Derek that the kid had actually completed two whole pictures, because he got bored with them pretty quickly.

"I wouldn't really call it a consequence," she said softly, a tiny smile on her face as she watched her son colour away happily. She turned back to Derek, sighing. "I actually think that having Justin was the best thing that ever happened to me. I mean, I know he's got a disability, and there's days when that can get frustrating, I won't lie. Actually, there's some point every single day that I find myself wishing Justin was just a normal kid, and that I didn't have to do all this for him. But then I stop and realize that he _is_ normal... just in his own way."

Derek watched as she got a faraway look in her eyes, and he wished that he could relate. He wished with all of his heart that he could see their son in the same amazing light as she seemed to see him. She seemed to be completely at terms with Justin's disability, and while she was admitting that there was days when it was simply too much, she didn't seem to hold any resentment whatsoever, for the kid. Derek supposed it wasn't his fault that he had autism, and that nobody could really blame the poor kid, but still... he had trouble comprehending how she was so accepting of the fact that her son would always need this sort of attention, if he never got either bit better.

Casey was looking at Derek again now, and she sighed as she went on.

"I remind myself everyday that he just needs someone to love him," she said, shaking her head. "And that's not hard, because I love him with all my heart. I'd do anything for him. He may be a bit different than other kids, but on the inside... he just wants to be taken care of, like any other six year old."

Derek's eyes flickered over to the boy, and he silently thought to himself that Justin looked more like he wanted to be left alone, than anything else. He didn't seem too interested in being taken care of. It was like he was in his own little world, over there, and Derek was foreign to it. He had no idea how he could possibly ever develop any sort of bond with the kid, if it was like he was invisible.

"How do you talk to him, and stuff?" he asked, frowning curiously. "I mean... are you two close?"

Casey smiled slightly, nodding her head.

"Autistic kids may distance themselves from people alot, but that doesn't mean that they freeze people out completely, Derek," she said, and he blushed, feeling completely uneducated here; he had never met anyone like Justin before. "They can usually develop really close bonds with whoever their primary caregiver is... and that's me."

"Oh," Derek said, biting his lip. He thought for a moment, trying to make this come out as sensitively as it possibly could. "But... I mean, if he doesn't talk... how can you..."

"He can talk," she said, shaking her head, luckily taking no offence to his statement. "He just... doesn't. When he was really, really small, he started talking a little bit, but it was never much. He was a really smart kid, so I figured that he'd be talking in no time. He knew the words, he could talk when he wanted to, but it was like every other kid was getting more and more verbal, and he was just falling behind really fast. Instead of making progress, he went downhill, and pretty much stopped talking completely."

Derek frowned, trying to take it all in.

"So what about now?" he asked, frowning. "Does he speak now?"

She shook her head, sighing as she ran her hand through her hair, curling her knees up beneath her.

"Very rarely," she said, sounding slightly upset by this. But it was a distant sort of sorrow, the kind that almost suggested that she had accepted the fact that her son didn't speak, and she was okay with it, even if he suspected that that probably wasn't the whole story at all. But he didn't need to know everything right away, so he merely nodded as she finished her explanation.

"Whenever he does talk, he doesn't say much," she said, shaking her head. "I can't carry out a conversation with him. He might get one or two words out, to get the point across, but it's hard to know what he's feeling, sometimes. He can't really tell me what's on his mind, and it can be hard to read the signs right."

Derek was silent for a moment as he watched Justin with interest. He wished that he could decode it; that he could understand what went on inside Justin's head. But he knew that he had no way of knowing any of that, and that he would have to try his hardest to accept this as a bump in the road, even if he was already contemplating running out of here as fast as his legs could carry him. But he'd feel terrible if he were to do that, and he knew how incredibly immature that would be. That was something the old Derek would've done- the Derek that Casey had once despised, back in high school. And he didn't want to do anything that would hurt the girl. He did care about her, after all.

"He's only mildly autistic," she said, sighing. "I mean, he's actually pretty well behaved. It's the communication that really gets him. He just can't tell anyone how he's feeling, and he gets so frustrated that he winds up throwing a bit of a fit. I know how to deal with them most of the time, and the school is starting to deal with him a little bit better. But he's a pretty complex kid, sometimes."

Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair as he tried to process all of this. This was way too much to deal with in one day, but he wanted to know as much as possible right now. It was best to get it all over with, rather than wait until the next day, and stress himself out all over again. He could just take everything in now, and have it all out there on the table. That'd be much better.

As if reading his mind, Casey took in a deep breath, and began to speak again.

"I moved back here after my first year of university," she said, and he prepared himself to listen to her story attentively. "My friend in California watched him while I was at school, and I'd have no time in the evenings, or the weekends, basically. So after I finished, I moved back home with our parents, and my mother would watch him while she did her work from home. Lizzie would watch her on the occasional weeknight, and even Edwin helped out, because I think they sensed I needed a break from him."

Derek nodded understandably, glad that she had received so much support from their family, back then. At least she hadn't been in this completely by herself.

Noticing that she had Derek's attention, she took a chance, and continued with her story.

"A little bit before his second birthday, I tried enrolling him in some daycare that was by our parent's house," she explained, sighing. "Mom was getting really behind on her work, and I had to go to school so that I could eventually get my own place, so that we wouldn't have to keep being a burden after I'd finished with university. I'd pick him up everyday at four thirty, but they'd always come back to me with weird reports. The teacher there would tell me that he didn't really respond to his name, he wouldn't sit with any of the other kids at snacktime, and he always wanted to play by himself. Apparantly, he could spend hours and hours reading the same book over and over. By the time he had been there two months, he was trying to draw out the pictures from the book by memory."

Derek frowned, not seeing where this was going.

"He only read through that one book the first two months he was there, and they said that they were actually worried about his social skills. I felt sort of bad, because I felt like they were trying to attack me, or something. It was like they were blaming me for what was happening, but I really had no idea. I just thought that they were being too observant, and that they were overexaggerating. I mean, he wasn't even two years old; I wasn't exactly worried at that point."

She paused, and Derek watched as a slight frown flickered across her features, and she bit her lip, wincing slightly as she went on with her story.

"But then I started to take notice of the little things he did at home that sort of reflected what they were telling me. He always had his toys lined up in a specific way, and if I tried to move them, he'd get mad at me. He had plenty of toy cars and stuff, but he only ever played with one. If I tried to rearrange anything in his bedroom, he'd cry until I fixed it back to the exact way it used to be. There was a time when I could only get him to wear one shirt, for an entire week. He dealt with change terribly, and I started noticing that they were right; he wasn't talking, he never responded to his own name, and he made absolutely no effort to communicate. He'd just sit there and play by himself, for hours. I'd wave goodbye to him when I dropped him off at daycare, and he'd just stare at me, like he had no idea I was even trying to communicate with him. I was trying to teach him how to speak, and he'd sort of get the word out, but he'd say it once, then completely forget about it the next day. It was like everything I taught him was just going in one ear, and out the other. All the other kids around him played together, and he'd just sit on his own, or come over and sit with me. I couldn't get him to interact with the other kids at all."

Derek looked over to where Justin was sitting, and saw that his son was arranging the crayons in front of him in order from darkest, to lightest, and she frowned, shaking her head.

"And then there was stuff like that," she said, shrugging. "I mean, when he started colour coordinating stuff, I was actually sorta proud. I figured that he was just really smart for his age, or something. When he was two, I bought one of those Disney movies, and he literally watched it forty-seven times. By the third time he saw it, he was drawing out half of the scenes from the movie. I mean, they weren't great drawings or anything; he was two- it was mostly scribblings of the scenes, but he'd put so much detail into them. If the person in the scene had a flower on their teacup, there'd be a flower. If that flower was yellow and pink, those were the colours it had to be; no exceptions. He was literally a very obsessive person."

"Well you're obsessive," Derek put in, shrugging. "He could've gotten it from you. I don't mean that in a bad way or anything, but you like to have things in perfect order."

Casey nodded towards the table, where Justin was holding up a crayon that was a dark shade of pink, clearly debating over where it should be placed. He looked torn, and it was easy to tell that this was a tough decision for him.

"I didn't do stuff like that, Derek," she reminded him, and he fell silent, knowing she was right. "It was stuff like that that always grabbed my attention, and finally, I stumbled across an internet article about autism. I noticed that he had alot of the symptoms. I took him to the doctor, and he was diagnosed with mild to moderate autism. He was only two, then."

"Wow," Derek said, shaking his head as he realized how much that kid had gone through in his life. It must be confusing, to have absolutely no way of communicating with anyone. "What happened then?"

"I took him out of daycare," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "I figured it was only going to get worse, and they didn't have anyone there that was trained for this sort of thing. The other daycares were too expensive, and I knew that I'd definitely need a job, to pay his medical bills."

"Are those expensive?" Derek questioned, and she snorted, motioning around the tiny and cramped apartment in which they live.

"Have you looked around you?" she asked, her cheeks slightly pink with embarassment. "Of course his medical bills are expensive. He goes to speech therapy, he has to attend occupational therapy, he's on three different medications..."

Their eyes met, and her cheeks turned a deep shade of red as she bowed her head, shrugging her shoulders.

"It hasn't been easy, I can tell you that now."

Derek's mind instantly flickered over all the money he had, and how easy his life was. If he wanted money, it was there. He didn't have to look at the price-tags on anything, because there was no fear of not being able to afford it. He had a spacious apartment, a fancy car, a top-paying job... he had it all. He was almost ashamed of the fact that the mother of his own child had been struggling financially for years, and he hadn't done a thing about it. He immediately made a mental note that he would help her out a bit with money, whether she liked it or not. He felt horrible, thinking that she had worked so hard in her life, and was achieving so little, since her money had to go towards Justin's healthcare.

"So Mom had to go back to looking after him," Casey admitted, shrugging. "She understood that he needed it, and she was really supportive. This was actually around the time they stopped nagging me to tell you about him. Lizzie mentioned it once, saying that having you around would really be a help, but this was the first time that nobody backed her up on it. They all stayed quiet, and it was never mentioned again. I think they felt the same way as I did about it."

"And what's that?" he asked, already knowing what she was going to tell him before she even opened her mouth.

She seemed embarssed, but she knew that he probably already knew the answer anyway, so she gave him the honest answer.

"You were practically famous, Derek," she said, shrugging. "You were the youngest person to ever hold such a powerful position at the record label. You were rising so quickly to the top, and everyone knew that Derek Venturi was the guy who was turning out one hit band out of another. You were so successful, and now that it was a public sort of success... I didn't really want to screw that up by shoving some autistic toddler on you. I knew what it would do to your reputation... and I... I cared about you. I didn't want to ruin everything you'd worked so hard for."

"Casey," he said, feeling terrible that she had felt that way, but she shook her head, closing her eyes for a brief moment. "Case, I'm sorry that you felt that way. I mean, I can't tell you what I would've done if you'd come to me about that, because I honestly don't know, but-"

"Don't make excuses for the past, Derek," she said, and when he fell silent, she put on her best brave front. "I know it was my choice not to tell you, and I don't blame you for not being around; you had no way of knowing that Justin even exsisted. But I'm going to ask you a question, and I want a completely honest answer from you, no matter what."

Derek was hesitant, and he was so close to just getting up and running, that he was scared his legs would move of their own accord. But he somehow managed to stay put, and he waited for her to ask the question that he dreaded so much.

"You said before that you wanted to be involved," she noted, sounding nervous. "Do you... do you still want to be involved in his life? Because if you don't, it's cool; you can go right now and we'll pretend none of this ever happened. We can go back to not talking, and I won't bother you anymore. But if you do, I need you to be one hundred percent committed to sticking by him. He's got alot going on in his life, and he needs as much stability and support as he can get. He doesn't need someone walking in and out of his life again and again; I'm not saying you'd do that, but I just want you to know that you need to be sure that this is something you really want."

Derek was silent, and he found that he couldn't answer the question. That surprised him, because he had been so sure that he had wanted this, when he entered this apartment. But now, he was filled with so many mixed thoughts and emotions that he wasn't even sure if any of the thoughts made any sort of sense. Nothing seemed logical to him, anymore.

"I... I don't know, Case," he admitted, feeling guilty. "I don't want to let you down, but-"

"You'll only let me down if you let him down," she said quietly, her face falling, and he knew then that she was disappointed in him. He felt awful for not being certain on this, but he wasn't going to lie to her. He was having second thoughts about getting involved with Justin's life, and he wasn't going to pretend that he wasn't. He just had no idea how to deal with an autistic child. How was he supposed to raise a kid like that in his professional lifestyle? His life revolved around tight scheduling, appointments, press conferences, and so much more. How would a kid with special needs fit into all that? Maybe it was selfish of him to think this way, but this was the way he had been forced to think of his life for years now, and he didn't know how to change that.

"Just answer the question, Derek," she said, shrugging. "It's not a big deal. If you don't want to be involved, just go. I won't stop you."

That was so much harder than it sounded; how could he just get up and go? He would look like such an asshole, if he did that, and besides, he didn't want to lose Casey from his life again. But he knew that, if he was this confused, he should give the matter more thought. Something as big as this deserved more than a few moments of undivided attention. He needed to think about it for a day or so. He wasn't about to make a promise that he couldn't keep, but he didn't want to just say no, either. He might regret it.

So he shrugged his shoulders, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"I really don't know, Case; but I want to think about it," he said, his voice slightly nervous; he didn't want her getting mad at him. "This is alot to take in, and don't be angry, but... I just need some time. Just give me a day or so, and I'll call you, or something. I just need to give it some thought."

She immediately nodded, looking very doubtful, which sort of offended him. Did she really think that little of his word? Did she honestly think that he was really that hopeless?

"Okay," she said, her voice void of emotion. "Just... let me know when you reach your decision."

He nodded, standing up, and as he turned to walk towards the door, he heard her speak up behind him.

"Derek?"

He turned, raising an eyebrow, and she shook her head, her eyes sad and doubtful.

"Don't make any promises you can't keep."

He nodded, and without another word, turned his back on her again. This was definitely going to require some serious thought.

* * *

**So this chapter was completed in a fit of sleep deprevation. I'll be back to normal updates soon, and just for anyone who was wondering, I will be going ahead with the sequel to Through the Haze, after this- since nobody protested the idea. Anyway, reviews will motivate me to write more ! **


	8. Promises

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Eight: Promises**

Derek got home a few hours later, after a night of pointless and directionless driving around Toronto. He had left Casey's apartment with the full intention of going home, but he found that he couldn't bring himself to drive in that direction. Home would mean silence, and silence would mean too much time to think. He knew that thinking was something that he had to do, but he preferred to do it in his car, with his music blasting from every which direction. Sure, he hadn't gotten a whole lot of thinking done, but he had cleared his head of some of the frustration that had been floating around there before, and that was something to be proud of, he supposed, even if it didn't put him any closer to knowing what he was going to do about Justin.

He wanted to be there for Casey, he really did, and he even wanted to be there for the son he didn't even know, but the autism... he was afraid that it might be too much. After all, he'd never had to deal with something like that before, and his life was very busy as it was. A son, he could've handled. An autistic son, that took work, and he didn't know if he was prepared for that. He had no idea how to help raise someone with autism. Casey made it look so easy; she had such a cute bond with him. She knew how to handle his moodswings, how to put up with his little quirks. But Derek hadn't been around for any of that, and to have to learn everything... well, he was just scared he didn't have the knowledge or patience to do that. And if he told Casey he would become a part of Justin's life, and then he bailed on her, she'd hate him. He knew she'd hate him, because she had warned him not to make the committment if he couldn't keep it. And because of that, he knew that he needed to be one hundred percent and completely sure about his answer.

When he finally got out of the elevator on his floor of the apartment building, he had to admit that he was exhausted. He ran a hand through his hair as he sauntered over towards his front door, and fumbled in his pocket clumsily for the key to his front door.

He had just grasped it, when he looked up, and saw that Vanessa was standing to the right of his door, her arms folded across her chest, and her foot tapping impatiently against the floor. The look in her eyes was one of pure anger, and he swallowed hard as he froze with the key halfway into the lock. He tried not to act worried as he bit his lip, hoping to God that she wasn't going to be mad.

"You don't want to know how mad I am."

_'Okay, so much for that one,'_ Derek thought to himself, sighing as he unlocked the door, and stowed the keys in his pocket again. He didn't touch the doorknob as he gave her a confused look, raising an eyebrow.

"Why are you mad?" he asked, wondering what he had done now. "What did I do? I haven't even been talking to you since this afternoon, and everything was fine then."

Vanessa unfolded her arms, glaring at him as she took a step towards her finace.

"Yeah, you haven't been talking to me since this afternoon," she said, and he went pale as he realized why she was mad. "That's the point. You told me to call you when I got off, so that we could make dinner plans. I called my father and told him you were going to be able to go out for dinner and everything, and he spent the night calling me back, wondering if I'd been talking to you yet. But all I could tell him was no, because my lazy fiance didn't even think it was necessary to pick up a phone and call me the whole night."

She paused to take a breath, and before he could even get a word out, she had reached out and shoved him back against the wall, her eyes angry, and her voice absolutely enraged.

"Where _were_ you?" she yelled, obviously upset. "It's twenty to one in the morning, Derek! Who gets home at twenty to one in the morning, huh? You could've at least had the decency to call me and let me know you'd be somewhere, but apparantly, that's too much work for someone like you. I mean, do you even know how worried I was about you? I spent the whole day imagining you got into some horrifying, dismembering accident, and that you were lying in a ditch somewhere, unconcious, and-"

"Whoah, calm down," Derek said, finally grabbing ahold of her wrists. She was starting to talk crazy, and that was always a good indication that it was time to stop her before she got anymore carried away. Her eyes were angry, and she was panting for air as Derek held her still, wanting to calm her down a bit. When it became apparant that she was listening, and that he had her full attention, he dropped her wrists, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry for worrying you, but you're overreacting," he said, and when he saw the anger flash through her eyes again, he rushed on. "My phone died earlier this afternoon. I went to visit my parents in London, for a little while, and then I had to go back to Casey's, to drop off something they'd wanted me to give to her."

Okay, so it wasn't the total truth. Sure, he had gone to his parents, and yes, he had gone to Casey's, but just not for the reasons he was leading her to believe. But he knew that telling her the truth was out of the question, so he forced himself to lie.

But apparantly, even his lies weren't going to be enough to get him out of this mess, because she only looked more enraged, at this point. Her eyes flashed with hurt as well, and he knew that he had said the wrong thing.

"So you spent the whole night with Casey?" she asked, her voice wavering. "What sort of self-respecting guy stays at his ex-girlfriend's apartment until one in the morning, Derek?"

"Nothing happened!" he said honestly, offended that she thought so little of him. "Really, Vanessa. Me and her are good friends; it doesn't mean anything that I'm hanging out with her. I know I should've called you, and I apologize for that. I never wanted to worry you, and I hope that you aren't going to stay mad at me for this."

She studied him curiously, biting her lower lip as she searched his face to see if he was being honest. When she detected the honesty in his features, she softened slightly, though she still seemed uncertain.

"Okay," she said slowly, sighing. "I guess I can let you off the hook this time, because you haven't really done this much before; you usually call me when something's up. I'll trust you when you say that you didn't want to worry me. But so help me God, Derek Venturi, the next time you worry me like that, there will most definitely be consequences to face."

He nodded quickly, just wanting her to be quiet. He hated it when Vanessa got mad at him. When he had been with Casey, he had actually liked it when she got just a little bit angry, because it was always really cute how her cheeks went all red, and her eyes flashed with that little hint of anger. It had been fun to watch Casey freak out, but he found that Vanessa didn't do the same sort of thing, and he supposed that was okay. She wasn't Casey, after all, and he loved her for who she was.

"So I'm forgiven?" he asked, the tiniest workings of a smile playing on his lips.

Vanessa looked hesitant, but she rolled her eyes and nodded her head, extending her arms for a hug. He grinned as he wrapped his arms around her in a hug, and he felt her speaking into his shoulder.

"You're forgiven, this time," she said, laughing a little. "But like I said, you do that again, and I won't be so accepting. So you'd better watch what you're doing."

He kissed the side of her head, nodding to show that he understood.

"Sounds good," he said, pulling away from her to grab onto the doorknob. He turned it, pushing the fornt door of his apartment open, and she slipped her fingers through his, following him into the apartment. She didn't live here, and she never had. She was perfectly content living in the cute little apartment her parents paid for, though he suspected she wanted to move in with him. Once they were married, they'd obviously be moving in together, but Derek sort of wanted to enjoy his last few months as a free man, living in his own messy style.

In all actuality, his apartment wasn't that messy. Sure, it had the odd object out of place, but it was mostly kept tidy and organized, despite how messy he had been as a teenager.

"I'm spending the night," Vanessa decided, dropping her coat onto the coach, and collapsing onto it. "I came all the way over here because you were lazy, and I have no intentions on going all the way back home tonight. So guess what, pal? You've got a roommate for the night."

Derek raised an eyebrow, winking at her.

"Sounds sexy," he noted, and she rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"That wasn't what I meant; go clean your mind."

He laughed as he tossed his wallet down on the table, not noticing that the photograph that he had taken from his father's house, of Justin, fell out and fluttered carefully to the ground. He immediately went to the fridge, scratching the back of his neck as he pulled it open and looked for his can of diet soda.

"So how was your day?" Vanessa asked curiously from the living room, sounding a bit sleepy. "Anything interesting happen?"

Derek snorted to himself. Anything interesting? Nah; he had only found out about the son he'd never realized he had, been informed that this son was autistic, and then had been asked to make a major decision about the future he held with his son. But no, nothing had happened at all, really.

"Eh, it was pretty uneventful," he lied, shaking his head as he grabbed the can from the fridge, and returned to the living room, opening it up carefully. "Nothing too exciting happened. I just hung around with Case for a bit, visited home, all that fun stuff."

He studied his can so that she couldn't see that he was lying, and he supposed that this was the reason that he didn't see her squint, and look down at the photograph lying on the floor. But within a moment, she had retrieved it, and was studying it with extreme curiosity. Derek looked up, and for a moment, he didn't think anything of it. He wasn't even too sure what she was looking at. But when he realized what this was- what this had to be- he panicked. How could he explain this one?

"Derek, who's the little boy in the picture?" she asked, her eyes never moving from the photograph as she spoke. "It must have fallen out of your wallet a second ago."

Derek bit the inside of his lip, racking his brain about how best to tell her. If she was going to have a step-son, she deserved to know, but he was scared that she was going to be mad at him. After all, a kid coming out of nowhere was sort of hectic. He knew that she was a generally accepting person, but a step-son from out of nowhere might be a bit too much on her.

"Derek?" she repeated, her voice more urgent this time. "You didn't answer me; who is the little boy in the picture?"

Derek pulled a typical 'Derek Venturi move' at that point, and completely screwed up. He thought quickly, and said the first thing that came to mind.

"He's Casey's kid," he blurted out, wishing that he could take back the words even as he said them. "I only met him today. She was showing me that picture, and I guess I forgot to give it back to her."

Vanessa seemed to relax, and she smiled a little as she examined it a little bit closer, looking interested.

"Cute kid," she said, and he couldn't help but feel a little bit proud. "He looks really... I dunno, familiar. Who's the father?"

"I don't know," he said quickly, and the moment he said it, he wanted to slap himself hard for lying. Aside from that, he felt like a horrible person for denying his own son's exsistance. He hated admitting it, but he supposed he was sort of ashamed of the boy's condition. He knew it was horrible, and hell, maybe it even made him a bad person, but it was the way that he felt.

"Casey's not sure who he was," he said, blushing a little as he threw out whatever words came to mind fastest. "Some guy she met about seven years ago, in California. She doesn't remember who he was."

Vanessa snorted, a cruel little smirk on her face as she shook her head at the picture, looking disgusted.

"Doesn't surprise me," she admitted, not sounding the least bit guilty of her own words. "Really, girls need to stop sleeping around like sluts, and start keeping track of their lives. You can't just go out and wind up pregnant like that. Geez, it's called self-restraint. That's why there are so many single mothers out there, now."

Derek bowed his head, ashamed of himself. He shoudln't be denying the fact that he had a son, and he really shouldn't be letting Vanessa bash Casey like that. She was the mother of his child, and he wasn't even standing up for her, here. He was letting Vanessa say all of these horrible things about his ex-girlfriend, a girl who he cared about very much. He was an asshole for not telling her not to say those things, for letting her call Casey a slut, even, She was far from it; it was Derek's fault that she had a kid, and Vanessa was sitting here accusing Casey of sleeping around like a common hooker, or something. He should be sticking up for her, even if he didn't tell the complete truth. But he was a coward, and he found that he couldn't get his mouth to form the words that needed to be said.

But all he could get out was a measly;

"Yeah, I guess so."

He was a coward, and he was pathetic, and if he had learned anything from that day, it would be that he wasn't half the man he thought he was. He was too scared to face his son's condition, he didn't have the decency to stick up for Casey, and he most definitely knew that he wasn't half the man he had formerly viewed himself as.

"What does this Casey girl do, anyway?" she asked, and Derek looked up, his eyes ashamed. "For a living, I mean. Where does she work?"

Derek sighed, sitting down carefully in his armchair as he looked over at Vanessa, shrugging one shoulder.

"She works as a secretary in a law firm," he explained to her, feeling awkward talking about his ex-girlfriend to his fiance. "She's actually a really smart girl, though."

"Mhm," Vanessa murmered through pursed lips, as though she didn't really believe it. "I'll bet she is. Lots of smart girls end up in lower paying jobs because they run off and have some child by some man that meant nothing. It's a shame really, how many brilliant minds go to waste."

Derek couldn't find it in him to freak out at the girl, but he found himself getting angry, at this point.

"Stop it, okay?" he said, his voice harsh as he narrowed his eyes at her. "She's my friend; I don't talk about your friends that way."

Vanessa was silent for a moment as she watched him, amazed that Derek had actually stuck up for Casey, over her. She got offended easily, but at this point, Derek didn't care. He wasn't ashamed of the fact that he had finally said something in Casey's defense, even if he was lying about their situation anyway.

"Besides, I'm sure the guy meant... er, _something_ to her..." he said quietly, frowning as he remembered how much they had loved each other, back then. "At least, I hope he did."

He said the last part so that Vanessa could not hear him, but the matter was one of a very personal nature, to Derek. He really did hope that their relationship had meant as much to her as it had to him. Back then, he had practically lived for their relationship, though he never would've told her such a thing. But he had shamelessly handed her his heart, let her claim it as her own, and that had made everything so much harder when she broke it. She'd broken his heart, and that was one thing he could never deny to himself, even if he flat out denied it to everyone around him. Casey McDonald had been his biggest heartbreak, to date; and there would be absolutely no denying that to his own mind.

Vanessa was still watching him intently, and when she realized that he didn't approve of her shameless bashing of Casey, she shrugged her shoulders, her mouth set in a thin little line. It was obvious that she was offended by Derek's desire to stick up for the girl.

"Right," was all she said, trying to act as if it didn't bother her. "Well, regardless of her situation, she's got a really cute kid. I hope she knows what she's doing."

"She does," Derek said, fighting back just as quickly as she had. "Trust me, she's amazing with him."

Deciding not to attack Casey anymore, Vanessa moved onto something different, something that she figured wouldn't cause Derek to get angry with her.

"What's his name, anyway?"

Derek leaned back into the armchair, finding it so comfortable to just relax for the first time that entire day.

"Justin," he said, deciding to leave out the last name. "He's six years old."

Before Vanessa could say anything, her cellphone started ringing from her purse, and she frowned, glancing over onto the kitchen table with curiosity.

"Who calls me at one in the morning, honestly?" she asked, and without another word, she stood up, and handed Derek the photograph of his son. "Here, take this."

Derek took the picture from her willingly, and he watched as she sauntered off towards her purse, so that she could answer her phone call. He couldn't help but roll his eyes; honestly, what sort of self-respecting girl had her own hit single as a ringtone? It actually got sort of embarassing, when her phone started ringing in public. Nobody he had ever worked with had used their own material in that sort of way.

"Hello?"

He shook his head as she started rambling on about something or another with whoever was calling her. He leaned back into the chair, examining the photograph in his hands. He saw an exact image of his eyes looking back at him, through messy brown hair against his slightly tanned skin. The smile that Derek had found so cute only hours before was still just as bright, just as innocent, yet Derek couldn't see it in the same light, anymore. He couldn't see the boy like he originally had; as some cute, innocent little six year old. Now, he saw a boy with a troubled past, a boy who needed that extra little bit of attention, but who turned people away when they tried to help. He unwillingly thought of how his son hadn't even acknowledged his exsistance, when he had visited earlier. That had most definitely hurt, he wouldn't lie.

But at the same time, he understood. Justin couldn't help being autistic. It had been forced upon him, it wasn't a personal choice. Casey had dealt with it, hadn't she? She'd obviously started somewhere with him, and he supposed that he'd have to work just as hard to earn Justin's trust and respect. But the only problem was that he didn't really have that sort of time in his life. His life was very public, and very hectic. He was always out of town on recruitment calls, and he went all around the world for publicity events, and even concerts. How would a six year old kid with autism fit into all of that? It wasn't like he could bring him along.

But as he looked down at the picture in his hands, he knew one thing was already definite in his mind. However hard this was on him, and even though he couldn't look at the boy the same, there was one thing that hadn't changed at all. When he looked at that picture, he still saw his son. He was still filled with the same amazement as he had experienced when he saw the photograph for the first time. He still had a sense of pride that this was his son, his own creation.

And because he held such a strong connection to the boy, he had a feeling that he already knew what he had to do.

- - - - -

Three days had passed, and Casey had heard absolutely nothing from Derek; she was beginning to have her doubts that he was even going to call her back. She'd waited and waited, hoping that she'd get that phone call, but she should've known not to get her hopes up. She had sensed it in Derek's every word, in his every action; he had no intentions on helping her out. She really shouldn't have expected anything more from him. This was Derek, after all; he had a new life now, with Vanessa, and that life probably didn't warrant any free time for Casey, or for their son. She should have known that he had better things to be doing with his time, than raising some autistic child.

But she kept reminding herself that they'd do just fine, even without Derek. They'd made it this far without any of his help or support, and they'd get through everything else alone, too. It had always been just her and Justin, and she was used to that. She was even comfortable with their lifestyle, at this point. Sure, raising Justin caused alot of stress in her life, but she loved him. He was all she had left, really, and he was the only person who kept her sane, half the time. He kept her from being too lonely, and really, the boy meant the world to her. There was nothing she wouldn't do for her son. And if that meant that she had to lose Derek from her life, after she had just found him again, then so be it. Sure, she'd been incredibly excited to have some sort of involvement with him again, but she would never let it come between the bond that her and Justin shared.

On that particular morning, Justin was lying on his stomach in front of the television, kicking his legs aimlessly behind him as he focused on the screen. He was watching the same show that he had been watching every morning for seven months now. Casey knew the episodes so well that she could recite them upside-down and backwards, but she pretended as though it never bothered her. If it made him happy, she was happy, and that was the way her life worked.

"Justin?" she called out, from her spot at the kitchen table. "Baby, do you want something made for your lunch?"

He didn't even turn his head, and she sighed, pushing her chair back, and making her way over to where her little boy was lying on his soft fleece Monsters.Inc blanket. She kneeled down next to him, touching his wrist gently to get his attention. He seemed to acknowledge that someone was there, but still kept his eyes on the screen.

It killed her to do it, but she reached over and turned the television off, ignoring the little whine of protest that escaped his lips. He finally looked up at his mother, and she smiled at him, hoping that she would be able to read his answers right. She wasn't sure why she ever talked to him as though he could respond back to her, but she wanted to try and talk as normally as possible, so that maybe he could pick up some words along the way.

"Are you hungry?" she questioned, trying to speak as clearly as possible. "Yes, or no?"

He bit his lip, and she sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to speak.

"Yes?" she asked, nodding her head so that he would get the point. He slowly mimicked the action, nodding his head once so that his mother would understand. She was actually surprised, because he very rarely cooperated with her that quickly, but she smiled, and kissed the top of his head, turning the television on again, so that he could watch his show.

"Good boy," she said, knowing that she always had to reward him for even attempting to communicate with her. She loved it when he actually managed to get out a word or two, but if he couldn't, she never got angry with him. She praised him for whatever he managed to do, and she loved him regardless.

"Okay," she said, pushing herself up off the floor, and walking towards the kitchen. "Lunch."

She instantly reached for the box of Kraft Dinner that was sitting on the counter. Justin was going through a phase; he would only eat toast in the morning, and only if it had exactly one spoonful of strawberry jam on it, and for lunch, he wouldn't so much as look at you unless there was a bowl of Kraft Dinner in front of him. He always put ketchup on it in the shape of a smiley face, and he would eat around that, leaving a large portion of the food in the bowl. Casey had been concerned at first, since he wasn't eating as much this way, but she had gotten around that by using a bigger bowl. He'd taken a liking to the larger dish, and would now only eat his lunch from that particular bowl. She'd bought a few identical bowls, so that she wouldn't have to wash it between every single meal.

As she was pouring a cup of water into the pot, so that she could start to cook the noodles, the phone rang, and she sighed, reaching over onto the counter to grab the phone. She glanced at the number, and her heart clenched when she saw that it was Derek's number. Why was he calling her? Surely, he hadn't changed his mind...

"Hello?" she said frantically, her heart beating wildly in her chest. "Derek?"

"Case, hey," he said, and she was relieved to hear that he sounded pleasant. "How are you doing?"

She bit her lip as she poured the noodles into the pot of water, making sure there was none left in the box.

"I'm doing pretty good," she admitted, shrugging. "No worse than usual. How about you?"

"I'm good," he said, and there was an awkward silence between them. Deciding he was going to cut right to the chase, he went on. "Look, Casey... I've given this alot of thought, and... I... I want to be involved in Justin's life. I know he has a disability, and I know it's not going to be easy, but... he's my son, and if you're going through all of this, I feel like I should, too."

Something about his words made Casey uncomfortable, and instead of being happy, she felt worried and nervous.

"You say that almost like you've got no other choice," she said slowly, her voice hesitant. "I mean, you're saying you feel like you have to do this, because I do, but that's really not the case. Me and Justin are fine, and if you aren't one hundred percent committed..."

"I am," he said quickly, and she was surprised to hear that he sounded honest. "I'm completely and totally ready for this. I've spent the last three days thinking about this, and I've been giving myself migraines over it, but I know this is something I want to do. He's my son, and I have a feeling that I'll regret it, if I don't get involved with him now."

She was silent, taking all of this in, and his voice came over the line again, soft and comforting.

"Besides," he went on, sounding as though these words were made just for her. "I think you've done things for yourself long enough. You could use some help, and I can give it to you."

"Are you sure?" she asked, hoping that he wasn't deceiving her. "I mean, you have a busy life. What about work, and-"

"Work can wait," he decided, shrugging. "Yeah, there will be times that I can't help out, because I can admit that I have a very busy life. I'll even warn you that I'm out of town alot, and that's going to be hard. But I will make time for Justin, I promise you. Just... give it a try, Casey... please?"

She thought hard for a moment, wondering whether or not she should trust this. What if he spent a little while around the boy, and then thought it was too much work? Justin needed stability, and he needed consistancy, and she needed to be sure that Derek could offer that. She was very protective over her son, and if anyone did anything to hurt him... she wasn't going to be happy.

But as she watched her little boy smiling happily to himself as he watched TV, she knew what she had to do. Justin had never known his father, and even a boy with autism deserved to know his daddy. Justin could use some male influence in his life, and having a father might really be a good thing for him. He'd never really had anyone but Casey, and her family back in London. Maybe it was about time he had someone new to guide him through everything.

"I want you to be sure," she said, her voice warning and hesitant. "I want you to promise me that you aren't going to leave on us. And you'd better mean it, Derek... because that little boy can't handle people walking in and out of his life, like that. He needs a sense of stability."

Derek paused, but then responded, his answer unchanged.

"I promise you," he said, sounding certain. "I'm sure about this."

She sighed, glancing over at Justin, and then folding one arm across her chest, the other still holding the phone up to her ear as she gave in, knowing that she had to give this a try.

"Fine," she said, still feeling rather uncertain about everything. "Drop by tomorrow, if you want, and you can spend some time with him. There's some stuff you'll need to know, to be able to understand him, and I'm going to have to help you with that."

"Sure," he said casually, in a tone that worried her senseless. "How about I drop over at twelve thirty, or so. It's Sunday, so neither of us are going to be working."

"Right," she agreed, nodding her head pointlessly. "Sounds good. I'll see you at twelve, then?"

"See you at twelve."

Without another word, she had hung up the phone, and she found herself leaning against the cupboard, sighing.

"He'd better not mess this up."

* * *

**And so begins Derek's journey. I can go back to updating regularily now, so I will update upon reviews!! Hope you liked it. **


	9. In His Own World

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Nine: In His Own World**

By ten to twelve, Derek was already knocking on the front door of Casey's apartment, praying that she wouldn't be too freaked out by him coming a little bit early. He'd tried to hold out for the extra ten minutes, but he wanted to see her. He hadn't seen her in about four days now, and although he'd gone seven years without seeing her, he felt weird when he didn't see her regularily, now. They had turned into such great friends that it just felt weird not to see Casey on a daily basis. He had been hanging around with the same people for years, and he found that he had so many friends, through the company, that he didn't really have one close friend. He just had several people that he knew he could hang out with, whenever he got bored. But Casey was a true friend, and he knew that he could count on her for almost anything. If he needed to talk, he knew that she would be there for him. And he hoped that she knew he was there for her too.

When Casey pulled the door open, she looked surprised, but not disappointed, to see Derek standing there, a cute little grin on his face. She was already dressed and cleaned up, and she held the door open for him to come inside. He stepped in, throwing his coat onto the back of a chair, and holding out a coffee tray to her.

"I got you a mocha," he said, nodding towards the tray pointedly. "Medium, no chocolate shavings, easy on the whipped cream?"

She smiled, extending her hand to take the cup from him, and he was pleased when she nodded, confirming her order.

"Right," she said, sounding surprised that he had remembered her order. "Thank you, Derek. You didn't have to do that; it's really sweet."

"Yeah, well- you know me," he said, smirking at her. She merely rolled her eyes as she pushed the door closed, and sighed, pushing back the lip of the cover so that she could take a sip of her drink. She winced a little as the burning liquid touched her tongue, and he frowned, concerned.

"Too hot?" he questioned, but she shook her head, indicating that everything was fine.

"Nope," she said, setting his mind at ease. "It's just perfect, thanks."

Derek took a sip of his tea, and glanced around her apartment for any sign of the six year old boy that he still hadn't had a chance to properly meet. His eyes immediately travelled over to where the TV was playing. Justin was lying on a fleece blanket in front of it, his eyes set firmly on the screen, as though he'd never seen anything this interesting in his life. He didn't seem to have noticed that anyone else had just entered the room, and Derek couldn't help but feel like Justin was in his own little world. It was like he was immune to everyone and everything around him.

"I told him you were coming," Casey said quietly, from behind him. "I think he's excited."

Derek glanced over at the young boy again, but could not find a hint of excitement on his features. In fact, he looked like he wasn't even aware that he had a visitor, let alone be excited about it. Derek had to wonder how Casey even came to these random assumptions about the kid. Maybe she was just trying to be optimistic, or make him feel as though his son had wanted him, but Derek was pretty sure that Justin couldn't care less if his father came to visit him, or not.

Casey took a step forwards, putting on her best smile as she spoke directly to her son.

"Justin," she called out, receiving no response. Derek frowned, but it didn't seem to bother Casey; it was like she had all the patience in the world, for him. "Justin, come over here please. There's someone here to see you."

He didn't turn his head, and Casey sighed, holding up one finger as she gave Derek a sheepish grin, as though she wasn't exactly embarassed by Justin's actions, merely neutral.

"Just hold on a second," she said, and before he could protest, she had crossed the room, and was kneeling down in front of her son. She turned the television off, and although he couldn't hear what she was saying, he knew that she was whispering something to the boy, as though they were sharing a secret. She kept shooting furtive glances at Derek, and finally, she pointed. And when Justin's gaze followed in the same direction as her finger, Derek's breathing hitched in his throat as he looked directly into a reflection of his own eyes. It hadn't hit him so strongly before, that he was a father. But to see himself reflected in someone's features so clearly erased any doubt from his mind that this wasn't real. This _was_ real, and the truth was literally looking him right in the eye.

Whatever Casey had said to her son worked, because a moment later, he had clasped his hand within his mother's, and was trailing along behind her shyly, not looking Derek in the eye anymore. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Derek recalled one of the internet articles that he'd read over the past few days about autism. He was pretty sure he had read something about autistic children having trouble with eye contact, and he saw that this was reflected in his son, now.

"Justin," Casey said, as they came to a stop in front of Derek. "Say hi to your father, baby."

Justin was chewing on his lower lip as he swayed back and forth slightly, obviously bored, and Derek shifted nervously as he waited for something to happen. Casey didn't look up at Derek, she merely kneeled down to eye-level with her, and smiled at him, no hint of impatience displayed on her features. He had to wonder how she managed to remain so calm, because he knew that he'd have lost his mind long ago, if he'd had to deal with this lack of communication day in and out.

But he was surprised when Justin actually managed to raise his hand up, and give a little half-wave towards his father. It was more of a hand flap, but it could be classified as a wave, he supposed. He still wasn't making eye contact, but Casey seemed to think that what he had done had been excellent. She kissed his forehead, ruffling up his hair happily as she grinned at him.

"Good job," she said, her voice filled with pride, as though what Justin had just done was the most amazing thing she had ever seen. "Can you say hi?"

Justin looked reluctant, and he seemed to almost stumble backwards as he kept his eyes glued to the wall across the room, but Casey held her grip on him, and nudged him to look towards Derek. He did so, though his focus was by no means on Derek's face, and he managed to open his mouth, and get out a faint;

"Hi."

Derek felt his breathing hitch, and he fought back a tiny smile. The kid's voice was so adorable; it was soft and pleasant, cute and happy, even if it was a bit weak, from not being used much. It was obvious that he didn't speak much, because the words sounded awkward and foreign to him, as though speaking was something from another lifetime. But he had spoken, and the pure joy in Casey's eyes was visible as she hugged him, obviously pleased with him.

"Good boy," she said, her voice brimming with happiness. "I'm so proud of you. How about you go on over and grab one of those cookies from the jar? Remember the ones we made this morning?"

She pointed towards the jar, and as Justin's eyes settled on the clear container of what appeared to be chocolate chip cookies, he put on what Derek supposed was his best attempt at a smile. The corners of his mouth moved upwards, and he let go of his mother, toddling towards the cookie jar happily.

Casey watched him go, before straightening up, nodding towards him as she looked back towards Derek.

"Rule number one," she said, her voice suddenly serious, now that it was Derek she was talking to. "Whenever he does something good, reward him for it. If he attempts to communicate with you, or if he does something that's usually hard for him, make sure he knows that what he's doing is right. Never focus on the negative stuff, with him, and don't get angry if he doesn't do something right. That just makes him upset. But when he does something good, I always reward him a little bit, even if it's just a hug, and a kiss."

Her eyes darted over to where Justin was stretching, trying to reach the cookie jar, and she laughed, crossing the room quickly to retrieve the jar for him.

"-but he really likes the cookies," she noted, as she unscrewed the top, and reached in to grab a cookie for him. "He's in a cookie and Kraft Dinner phase, right now. That's basically all he wants to eat."

Derek raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the wall as he watched Casey hand Justin the cookie, and place her hand on his shoulder as he took a tiny bite of it.

"Is that even healthy?" he asked, and she laughed as she watched her son take tiny bites of cookie at a time.

"Not really, but I'm not worried. He goes through phases. Last month, he was living off of chicken noodle soup, and pretzels. Kraft Dinner and cookies will fill him up, at least. He's really small, if you didn't notice."

And he was; Justin was one of the tiniest kids Derek had ever seen before. He wasn't really scrawny, he was just small. He definitely wasn't overweight, that was for sure, and Derek had a feeling that Casey was right; a month or so of Kraft Dinner and cookies couldn't do the boy any harm.

"I make sure he gets something from all the food groups everyday," she said, much to his surprise. "He has milk with his breakfast, and I usually manage to get him to eat an apple or two, during the day. He has toast in the mornings. He's usually more flexible around suppertime, but breakfast and lunch have to be the same every single day, or he'll throw a fit."

Justin seemed to want his mother's attention, for he was suddenly grasping onto her shirt with no sense of a strong grip. His hand wasn't exactly grasping the material correctly, but she looked down, raising an eyebrow at him as she tried to get him to maintain eye contact with her.

"Yes?" she questioned, her voice clear as she waited for him to make some sort of request, to her. He bit his lip, and he looked like he was having some sort of internal struggle for a second, before he pointed a tiny finger towards the fridge, swaying from side to side slightly. Casey frowned, leaning in closer to him. Derek watched with interest, wondering if Casey would be able to decipher the meaning of her son's actions, without words.

"What is it you want, Justin?" she asked, moving to the fridge, and pulling it open. She motioned for him to come over, and when he stood next to her, she looked down at him expectantly.

"Show Mommy what you want," she said, stepping back to allow him to choose what he wanted. "Do you want a drink?"

He wasn't looking at her anymore, and his attention seemed to be focused on something on the top shelf. Casey sighed, and Derek couldn't help but wonder if this was how it was all the time. The kid was practically nonverbal. Casey had mentioned that he talked sometimes, but so far, Derek had heard the boy say one word, and that was it.

"Milk?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Is that what you want? Can you show me?"

He bit his lip, before pointing to a pale pink carton of apple juice on the top shelf, frowning slightly.

"Juice," he got out, the word slightly mispronounced, and once again, Casey seemed absolutely thrilled with him. She grinned at him, and praised him again for using his words, but as she poured up a glass of juice for Justin, Derek couldn't help but wonder what was so great. He didn't see anything so special about the kid being able to say two words, out of the entire English language. It was mostly pointing, and looking, that seemed to tell Casey what Justin wanted. Why was she so happy about such little communication? Derek honestly couldn't see Justin ever leading any sort of a normal life, if he kept going at this rate.

As Justin took a gulp of his juice, and ran back towards the living room, where Casey had used the remote to turn the television back on, she turned to him, a tiny smile on her face as the boy settled back into an armchair, his eyes glued to the screen contently.

"See?" she said, sounding proud. "He can talk. He's actually doing pretty good today. There's days I don't hear him talk at all, and then there's other days he might say a few words. He can't piece together full sentences, or anything, but I'm hoping to get him into some more advanced programs, so that maybe he can start communicating a bit more."

Derek didn't respond, and the hint of a smile on her face began to drop as she noticed that he didn't seem to find Justin's actions all too hopeful. She immediately frowned, and folded her arms across her chest, a sudden coolness erupting between the two of them as she recognized that there was something on his mind.

"What is it?" she asked him, shaking her head. "Are you having second thoughts already? How long have you been here now; ten minutes? That didn't take too long. I should've known that you'd back out of this. I don't know why I expected anything more from you."

Derek started panicking then; he didn't want her to jump to conclusions. Sure, he was having second thoughts about coming along today, but that didn't mean that he had any intentions on geting up and walking away, and there was no sense in worrying her over that sort of thing, because it wasn't going to happen. He had promised her to be involved, and that meant that he was going to stick by that promise, no matter what. Casey deserved to have him keep his promise to her.

"I'm not going to leave on you, Casey," he assured her, shaking his head as he attempted to use his calmest voice, in an attempt to reassure her. "Really, I'm not. I promised you that I'd stick around, and I still mean it. I... I know how hard this has been on you, and I can see now that maybe you need the help. I mean, you're doing a great job with him... far better than I could've ever done, but maybe I can help you out a little bit. I mean, I've got lots of money, if that's what you want. I can write you a check, you guys can get more help... move into a bigger place..."

A frown appeared on her lips, and her eyebrows scrunched together as he trailed off, realizing that whatever he had just said had been the worst thing he possibly could've said to her. There was anger flashing through her eyes as he gulped, waiting for her to yell at him. He already knew that it was coming, so he prepared himself for it.

"We don't need your money, Derek," she said, glaring at him with angry eyes. "Sure, my job isn't the best, and sure, being a single mother is really tough, financially. But if you only came here to pay me off, and then think you'd be in the clear, then fine, go. I don't want your money, and I'm not going to take it, alright? You're off the hook; if you think being around him is going to be too much, then I don't want you involved."

His eyes must have shown his surprise, for she let out a slight groan of frustration, as though she just couldn't communicate to him how she was feeling, sort of like Justin couldn't, most of the time.

"Dammit, Derek... do we look like some sort of charity case, to you?" she questioned, shaking her head with disgust. "Did you think that you could just come along, and toss money at us, and hope we'd praise you forever? That's not what being a good father is about, in case you didn't know. So if financial aid is all you're interested in, then you can just go right back to your fiancee, because we're not interested. Me and Justin have been getting along perfectly fine by ourselves for years, and we can keep on doing it, whether you come along waving a checkbook, or not."

He was shocked, and he had no idea what he was supposed to say to her. How did you respond to someone who had just basically called you out on being a complete and total bastard, and someone who was trying to take shortcuts? He had to admit that that had sort of been what he was trying to do; he had sort of hoped that, by giving her some money, maybe she wouldn't need as much of his actual help with Justin. He knew it was selfish, and he knew he was a jerk, but he really didn't think he'd ever be able to handle this situation with the same amount of respect and patience as Casey did.

He shook his head, his eyes wide with shock as he tried to think of something to say to her to make it better.

Without any real idea about what he was going to say, he opened his mouth, waiting for the words to come to him.

"Casey, I-"

"He doesn't need money, Derek," she said quietly, sad laughter escaping her lips as she fixed her eyes on him. "Money doesn't mean a thing to that little boy, and it doesn't mean anything to me, either. All that matters in my life is making sure that he is as happy as he possibly could be, despite his condition. He didn't ask for the autism, and he can't help it that he's different. If he was a regular kid, you'd be thrilled, Derek. You'd have him out playing hockey already, and you'd be having a blast with him. But it's his disability that keeps you from opening up to him. You think he's so different from a normal kid, but he's _not._ You just need to learn how to deal with him, and learn what he needs to be happy. Once you figure all that out, he's really such a sweet boy, Derek; you'd love him. People are blinded by his autism, and I hate it. People are always staring at him when he throws a fit, or questioning me about why he doesn't act his age, and all I can tell them is that he's developing on his own level, and if that level isn't up to speed with you, then you're going to have to leave."

He bowed his head, his hands in his pockets as his cheeks turned a deep shade of red. He was ashamed of himself, and for good reason.

"He needs dedicated people in his life," she said, shaking her head. "He needs people who love him, and if that means that the only person he has for the rest of his life is me, then so be it, because I'm always going to love and support him. He needs somebody, and if you're not here to stay, then just go. I promise you I won't hold it against you."

He thought long and hard about that one; did he want to leave? A huge part of him just wanted to nod his head, and be gone from that apartment for good. He'd go off and marry Vanessa, he'd live his life as a successful and well-known worker, and he'd probably eventually have a normal kid, one who he could do all those fun things with, like hockey games, and trips to the playground; even if he knew Vanessa didn't want kids. She'd told him that several times.

But even not having any kids seemed a little bit better than having to struggle to communicate with the one he already had. He felt like such an asshole, but he couldn't stop those stubborn thoughts in his head, the ones that were putting a mental block between himself, and his son. He knew that he hadn't even really tried, yet, and that he should be putting alot more time and effort into this than the ten minutes he'd spent here, today. But it seemed like so much work, and he'd never been one for working too hard, had he?

And then, his eyes fell on a picture of Casey and Justin, that was resting on the coffee table across the room. In the picture, Justin was leaning back against his mother's stomach, smiling as best as he could at some point to the right of the camera. And despite her son's condition, even Casey looked happy. And that was when he realized that, somehow, Casey was finding happiness in all of this. She had been a single mother for six years now, and a single mother of a child with autism, at that. But she still managed to be happy, somehow. He looked around the apartment, and saw that she truly had nothing but Justin, in her life. Her job wasn't really enough to fully support a single-income family, and he knew how hard she must have struggled, over the years. She'd been doing this alone for such a long time, and it occured to him that she must have to work so hard, to achieve so little.

And, whether she accepted money or not, that was one thing he wasn't going to let her do alone, anymore. She deserved a friend, at the very least.

"No," he said, shaking his head confidently, fighting back any bit of resistance that he was feeling. "Forget it, Casey. I'm staying involved with you and Justin, no matter what. I made a promise, and no matter how hard this is, I'm going to stick by you guys. You deserve help, and if it's support you want, that's what you'll get, okay? You can count on me, I promise you can."

She looked surprised, but there was still doubt in her eyes as she gave him a curious look, frowning.

"Really?" she questioned, and he smiled, nodding his head at her quickly.

"Yeah, really."

She still didn't look like she trusted him all that much, but she did look a bit more relieved as she smiled, nodding her head slowly to show that she understood.

"Thanks, Derek," she said, and he nodded, feeling proud of himself for finding the courage to stick around. Without any further discussion, she had turned, and he followed her into the living room, where Justin was still watching TV.

"I guess we can just sit down," she said, shrugging. "Justin's going to be pretty much dead to the world until that show is over, I can promise you that now. That's another thing you need to understand about him; he has obsessions. This month, it's that TV show, the color blue, and one of the books that the teachers gave him at school. Last month, it was some other show, the color yellow, and his toy drum. He'll go through phases where he'll only watch one show, or he'll obsess over one color, or he'll read the same book over and over. That sort of thing. So until that TV show is over, we won't exsist, to him."

Derek nodded, trying to remember everything that she was telling him, so that he could store it, and remember it, for future reference. They sat down on the couch together, and an awkward silence fell between them as he waited for the right words to leave his mouth. How was it that someone who he should have so much to say to, jogged no words to mind?

"When's the wedding?" she suddenly asked, sounding curious. "Sorry if you've already told me; my memory is horrible."

Derek was surprised that she even cared about his wedding, and to be honest, he couldn't really recall whether or not she had already asked, but he decided to ignore that, and answer her anyway.

"Seven weeks," he said, sighing. "Vanessa wanted a summer wedding, so that she could have everything finished up in time for her fall tour. She's going to Europe, and a few locations across Canada and the States, I think, but it's still in the planning stages."

"Are you going?" she asked, and he had to wonder if she only wanted to know so that she knew whether or not he'd be leaving Justin for any extended periods of time. He hated his answer, but he had to be honest.

"Yeah, I am," he said, sighing. "I'm going to Europe with her, and whatever locations she goes to in the States. I'm leaving the Canadian stops up to her manager, Brian. He'll be going to Europe and stuff too, but I'm mainly there to try and recruit new people, and to keep publicity to a safe level. I don't usually go along on a whole lot of tours, but-"

"-you want to go with her?" she asked, her voice knowing. "That's understandable, I guess. She's your fiance."

Derek frowned; Casey was wrong. He wasn't going to Europe because he wanted to go, not at all. On the contrary, he'd probably rather stay home, and have some alone time while Vanessa travelled to Europe for her tour. He was sure he'd see her face all over the television, and all over the magazines, so it wasn't like he wouldn't be up to date on her life. Of course, half of what the magazines printed about her was untrue; according to the media, she had faced cancer six times, had two miscarriages, gotten into three fistfights, and eloped twice, all in the past year. She had gotten upset by these rumours, at first, but finally she had caught onto the fact that media was a huge part of being a celebrity, and gossip was like air for a drama-crazed society. It had taken awhile, but Derek had finally convinced her to just ignore the tabloids; he told her that it was a good idea to keep up with what was being said about you, just so you were on alert, but not to worry about it, because a new story always replaced the old. He had rumours about his clients mailed to him daily, from all over the world, and half of it was so ridiculous that he questioned society's sanity, at times.

"I don't really want to go to Europe," he finally said, shaking his head. "I mean, I know it's a great place and all, but I've been there five times, on tours with some of my bands. I'd just rather stay home and have some free time. I mean, sure I love Vanessa, but she can be a handful sometimes. It would've been nice to have some time to myself, you know?"

She laughed, gesturing towards Justin with her right hand, nodding her head as though she found that statement funny.

"Yeah, I think I know what it feels like to want a bit of free time, but unlike you, I don't have a choice," she said, and he immediately blushed, feeling guilty. "You can't just take a day off from autism. It's there every day when he goes to sleep, and no matter how much I pray and hope that it would just go away, I still wake up every morning to a son who has no idea how to tell me how he's feeling."

"Is it frustrating?" Derek asked, not realizing that this was probably a stupid question. "I mean, are there times when it gets to be too much? Do you have anyone else who can take care of him, from time to time?"

She nodded her head, and he felt a bit of relief course through him, knowing that she wasn't completely alone.

"You remember I told you I babysit the little boy Brandon, down the hall?" she asked, and when he nodded, she went on. "Well, it's actually usually the other way around. I mean, I watch Brandon from time to time, but it's usually Debbie, his mother, that watches Justin for me. Brandon's around Justin's age, and he's got a brother with autism, so Debbie already knows how to deal with that sort of thing, even though the kid moved to Kingston with his father. She takes care of Justin every now and then, when I need some time to myself, or when I have to work late. In return, I usually watch Brandon when she goes to visit her other son."

"Oh," Derek said, nodding his head. He couldn't believe how complex Casey's life was. It must be filled with so much rushing around- trying to get Justin to school, and to appointments, and then working, and babysitting the neighbours son...

And really, his life had just revolved around controlling other people's careers. How hard was that, compared to what Casey went through everyday?

"I take it you don't have any free time?" he asked, biting his lip. "Do you still... like... date, and stuff?"

It was an awkward question, and he knew that she had answered it a few days before, but he wanted to know if her answer would change now that he knew the real reason behind her secrecy. He wasn't even sure why it bothered him so much, but he found himself hoping that she would say no. He knew it was selfish, for he had moved on and found someone new, and she really deserved someone to make her happy, but he found it hard to picture her with anyone else.

It didn't matter what he wanted her to say, because she shrugged her shoulders, and gave her answer.

"I don't have much time to date, but I do go out from time to time," she admitted, not sounding too happy about it. "Things never get past one or two dates, though. I mean, being a single mother probably scares the men away enough, but being the single mother of a six year old boy with autism... well... that just completely turns them away from me. Nobody wants to take on that sort of baggage, and I can't say that I blame them. The second they find out I've got a kid, they're usually nice to him... for however long they stay with me. They try to interact with him, but usually it only takes one of his little tantrums... and then I'll never hear from the guy again."

Derek frowned, feeling horrible for Casey. She couldn't even date like a normal person, because nobody wanted to have the weight of an autistic child pushed onto their shoulders. He would've called the whole lot of them cowards, but in a sense, it wasn't their responsibility. It was Casey's, and just as much, it was his own responsibility to take care of Justin. He was their son, after all.

"I mean, I guess I could just hide the fact that I've got a son, but I'm not about to do that," she said, her voice confident. "I'm not ashamed of him, not at all, and I'm not about to deny the fact that he's my son, just to make someone else happy."

Derek felt sick to his stomach, then, because he was exactly the type of person Casey was describing. Hadn't he been the one to deny his son's exsistance to Vanessa? Hadn't he been too ashamed to even admit that Justin was his kid, not just Casey's? He knew that he was a coward, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it.

Even if it made him feel like the world's biggest jerk.

* * *

**So I will update when you guys review, because I have the next chapters planned out! And by the way, for the people who mentioned how the medical bills wouldn't be that expensive; I just generally meant that they were expensive for Casey, because they are a single-income family, and she doesn't make too much money as it is. So, for Casey, it's a bit rough :) Just thought I'd clear that up for you! **


	10. In Your Defense

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Ten: In Your Defense**

Derek would never be able to hate Casey McDonald; she had played such an important role in his life for such a long period of time. He cared about her, and he acknowledged that she was one of the most amazing people that he had ever had the pleasure of meeting. He didn't hold a single ounce of hatred for her, in his body.

But he would be absolutely justified, and correct in saying that he slightly resented her for how easily she bonded with Justin. He had been at her apartment several times throughout the week, and he found that- no matter how hard he tried to connect with his son, there was just nothing there. He couldn't get through to him as easily as Casey did, and he certainly couldn't understand whatever it was Justin wanted, half the time. Casey could take one look at Justin, and usually figure out a few things that he might want, but to Derek, the kid's expression never changed. It was like he was in his own little world, and he didn't want anyone to come and visit him, except Casey. Casey could make him laugh, and smile, and come somewhere close to communicating. When Justin looked at Derek, there was no emotion in his eyes. And even though Derek barely knew the kid, it hurt to know that this was the look his own son fixed him with. He meant nothing to Justin, in his opinion.

As he walked up the stairs to Casey's apartment, trying to juggle his cellphone between his ear and his shoulder, while carrying some grocery bags, he was instantly regretting not taking the elevator. It had been on the top floor, and he had figured that this would be a much quicker journey, but of course Vanessa had decided to call him. It was pretty hard to talk on the phone while trying not to drop anything, and going up the stairs, all at once.

"Yeah, babe..." he was saying, trying his best to calm his moody girlfriend. "I know we still haven't done anything with your parents, but I've been busy whenever you're available. I mean, you're not the only one with a schedule."

"You're always with that Casey girl," she whined, sounding annoyed. "You spend more time with her than you do with me, lately. Do you know how much that hurts? It's like you're picking another girl over me."

"Hey, that's not fair," he said, cursing under his breath as he stumbled, and caught himself. "On the days I'm home, you're usually busy. I can't help it if I haven't been able to spend much time with you lately. But you know what? I'll make sure we spend some time together tonight, okay? I promise you. I'll pick you up on my way home, and we'll go out to dinner or something- just me and you. How does that sound?"

There was a moment of pause, and Derek found himself wishing that Vanessa would just hang up on him. Arguing with her like this was tiring, and he really wasn't in the mood. He'd spent the whole morning running around, shopping for Casey. It was his fault, he supposed; he had been the one to suggest that he should go pick up her groceries, on the way over to see Justin. But when he had returned to her apartment at around noon, she had blushed, and told him that Justin was on a special diet, and that she had simply forgotten to tell him. Derek hadn't really seen what the big deal was, but she told him that she had started him on a new diet recently, eliminating Gluten and Casein from his diet. Of course, Derek didn't have a sweet clue what either ingredient was, and she had informed him that Casein was a protein found in milk products, and Gluten was a protein found in wheats. Apparantly, they were supposed to help with autism, since some people with the condition couldn't properly digest the proteins, and that Justin had only been on this diet for a week or two, now. She said that he was already showing improvement, since she had switched to substitutions for the products. Derek really couldn't see how Justin could possibly have improved, but he supposed that Casey knew him better than he did, and he'd just have to trust her on that one. Casey claimed that the little bit of speaking that Justin was doing now had not even been present a few weeks before, and that he was having less tantrums than before.

Derek hated the tantrums. Justin would start out okay; he'd be trying to get a point across to one of his parents, and on the occasion that neither of them understood what he wanted, he'd start crying, and yelling, and kicking and screaming. Derek had only ever witnessed these tantrums inside Casey's apartment, but he could only imagine the looks that Casey had gotten over the years, when her child started acting like that, in public. Because, as Casey often reminded him, autism didn't take a break- and his autism could be just as bad, sometimes worse, in public. Apparantly, he was horrible with a change of surroundings of any kind, and he hated being in crowds of people. He was okay in relaxed areas, and he apparantly liked the playground, as long as he got to play by himself.

And today, Casey and Derek were planning on taking him there. It would be Derek's first time being outside the apartment with Justin, and he had to admit that he was nervous. Justin required special attention, and he knew he'd have to keep an extremely close watch on him, because according to Casey, he had been known to run off a couple of times. It was called "elopement", apparantly, and it usually consisted of the child running off, with no real sense of danger. Casey had said that it had only happened a couple of times, and that she had always been able to keep her eye on him, but that this was the reason for the lock being so high up on their front door; she didn't want him getting out of the apartment. Considering the fact that he was almost completely nonverbal, it would be so easy for him to get hurt, or lost, and not have anyway to communicate with someone, to let them know he needed help.

And on a completely unrelated, and quite selfish note, Derek really didn't want Justin to start freaking out in the middle of the park, or something, where everyone could see him. Derek was a well known guy, and although people generally left him alone unless he was with Vanessa, people watched him from a distance. He was already half afraid of what the media was going to say if they saw Derek Venturi out around with another woman, a woman who wasn't Vanessa. He wasn't worried; he knew that Vanessa knew that Casey was a friend, and that- should the media run some absolutely garbage about him having an affair- she'd know that it was just another stab at his reputation.

"Derek, you'd better be listening to me," Vanessa said, from the other line. "You're not, are you?"

"Yes I am," he lied, sighing. "Look, I'm free anyday of the week, except this Monday."

"What's this Monday?" she questioned, sounding curious. "You don't have any meetings or anything, I'd know."

Derek bit his lip, not wanting her to blow up at him again, but knowing that he shouldn't lie to her about it, since she was bound to find out anyways.

"I'm babysitting for Casey," he said, sighing. "Justin's school has a holiday that day, and Casey really can't afford to take the day off of work, so I volunteered to babysit for her."

He had to admit that he was feeling somewhat nervous, about his babysitting job for Casey. He'd babysit plenty growing up; with three younger siblings, it had been hard not to. But Marti, Edwin, and Lizzie hadn't had autism, and at least they'd been able to tell him what they wanted. Besides, they had all been old enough to stay out of the way, and take care of themselves. He had volunteered to babysit after seeing Casey freaking out about losing an entire day's pay. It had been a spur of the moment suggestion, and even though she had been reluctant, she had agreed to let him give it a try, as long as he spent some time getting used to Justin's needs, throughout the week.

And that had been exactly what he had been doing. He had dropped by every single day to spend a bit of time with his son, and get to know his different moods a little bit better. And while he still felt as though there was absolutely no change occuring, Casey seemed to have this crazy notion that Justin was getting used to him. How she got that, he wasn't sure, because he still looked at his father with a completely blank face, void of emotion, as though the man was just a stranger to him. But Casey claimed that she thought he'd do just fine with him, and even though Derek was pretty sure she was lying, he figured that he'd just have to trust her, and trust himself. It was only one day, right? How hard could it be?

"Vanessa, I'm sorry to cut this short, but I've really gotta go," he said, as he finally reached the top of the stairs, and walked towards Casey's door. "I'm really busy, but I promise you I'll be over tonight, okay? Trust me on this."

There was definite pause, and he knew that she didn't believe a word of what he was saying; he couldn't blame her. With his secret life as a father, he hadn't been spending nearly as much time with Vanessa as he normally would have. He'd usually get off work before she did, and he'd head home to drop his stuff off, before heading straight over to Casey's apartment. Five days of this, and he still felt like he was getting nowhere. Today was Saturday, so it had been a little over a week since he had figured out that he was a father. And this week had been anything short of relaxing, something that had taken a toll on his and Vanessa's relationship. But he knew that he just had to find a balance between his son, his friendship with Casey, and his life with Vanessa, and everything would be fine, right?

..._Right?_

Yeah, he so knew he was in way over his head here. But he thanked the heavens when Vanessa spoke up, her words echoing in Derek's favour, for once.

"Okay," she said, sounding doubtful. "I'll see you tonight, then, and I expect us to be able to spend some actual time together this time, bud. I've missed you."

He grinned, pausing outside of Casey's doorway, not wanting to go into her apartment while he was still on the phone.

"Yeah, miss you too," he said, straightening up. "Love you, bye."

Before she could say anything other than a quick goodbye, he had snapped his phone shut, and pushed it into his pocket, out of sight. He went straight on into Casey's apartment, since she was always too busy to even answer the door, and he was immediately met with the sound of the TV playing loudly in the living room. He could vaguely make out the smell of Kraft Dinner, which had not been present when he left there this morning. He vaguely wondered if Casey actually used milk substitutes for Kraft Dinner, but quickly pushed the thought from his mind, regarding it as unimportant.

"Anyone here?"

His eyes fell on Justin, who was leaning against the coffee table, his palms pressed flat against the surface. His eyes were glued to the television, and he was rocking back and forth between his heels and his toes pointlessly. He was chewing on his lower lip, and Derek sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Hi to you too, bud," he muttered sarcastically, feeling guilty already for being so snide about his son. "Casey, you here anywhere?"

She didn't answer, but a moment later, she came rushing out into the room, struggling to do up the clasp on her earring, wincing as it pinched her ear slightly. Derek's breathing hitched in his throat as he saw how pretty she looked today. Her hair was flowing down over her back in gentle waves, and she was wearing a light purple t-shirt, that was fairly low cut, though not too revealing. Her eyelids were coated lightly with a gentle sparkly eyeshadow, and her lips were glistening softly with her faint pink lipgloss. He always wondered how she managed to look so gorgeous without even wearing all that much makeup. She had always been a naturally beautiful girl, and he found that amazing about her.

He was snapped out of his trance when she smiled at him, finally getting her earring done up, and she reached for her black jean jacket, slipping into it quickly as she grabbed her wallet off the table.

"Hey," she said, as he placed all of the groceries down on the table. She gave a sigh of relief, and he watched as she practically dove into the bags, shoving everything hastily into the fridge, and cupboards, as though she just wanted it all out of the way.

"Thank you so much," she said, sounding completely grateful. "I'm sorry for making you go out and get those substitutions, but he needs them. I'm trying to keep that diet as consistant as possible, and-"

"Don't worry about it, Casey," he said, shaking his head. He watched as she unzipped her wallet, her hip holding the refridgerator door open as she frowned, her eyebrows scrunched together as she searched intently for something. She was tilting her head slightly to the right, as though she was having trouble finding what it was that she wanted.

"There's gotta be money in here somewhere," she mumbled, squinting, and he shook his head as she retrieved a fifty dollar bill, handing it to him shamelessly. "Here you go; for the groceries."

He kept shaking his head as he held up a hand to indicate that he didn't want the money.

"Really, it's fine," he said, blushing. "It wasn't too much, honestly. You've been supporting him for years, the least I can do is buy you guys some groceries. Keep your money, okay?"

She looked like she wanted to argue with him on that one, and her cheeks flushed a deep shade of scarlet as she tried once more to hand him the money, her voice small as she tried her best to sound determined.

"I can't let you keep paying for everything," she said, and he shrugged, taking the fifty dollar bill, and placing it down carelessly on her kitchen table, indicating that he wasn't going to take it from her. She rolled her eyes, placing one hand on her hip as she shook her head at him with frustration.

"Derek," she said, her voice actually quieter this time. "Can't you be normal for like... once in your life, and accept the freakin' money?"

"Nope," he said, grinning at her happily; he didn't need the money. He knew that she needed it more than he did, and by the look in her eyes, he felt that even she knew that. Because, no matter how much she protested his insistance on her keeping the money, she still looked pretty relieved that this was fifty extra dollars she'd have, until the next time that she got paid. Derek knew that paying her bills could be a struggle, because he'd seen the look on her face, when she had gotten her electricity bill the day before. Sure, her job was paying her just fine, but it wasn't enough for a single mother, who had medical bills to pay off for her son. The cost of living alone would have been hard enough, even without Justin's autism.

And he knew that, no matter how guilty and reluctant she felt about keeping the money, she was happy that she _could_ keep it; she was pleased that she wouldn't have to worry about where she was getting the money for something else, in a day or two. Fifty dollars was worthless, to Derek, who could quit his job now, and be covered for a good twenty or thirty years... but to Casey, fifty dollars was practically a lifesaver.

"Are you ready?" he asked her, wanting to change the subject. "We can take my car, if you want. It's parked right outside the door, so..."

"Yeah, okay," she said, and when she turned to see what Justin was doing, she saw that he was still rocking back and forth, trying to balance himself on his toes. Casey sighed, and Derek frowned, only recognizing the behaviour as odd now.

"What's he doing?" he asked, confused as to what his son was trying to accomplish. "It's like he's trying to walk on his toes, or something."

"It's called toewalking," she said, shrugging as she crossed the room, and reached down for Justin's hand, allowing him to rest on both of his feet again. He trailed along behind his mother as she led him towards the front closet, where his sneakers and jacket were stored.

"It's a symptom in autism," she explained, as she let go of Justin's hand, and slipped his coat off of the coathook. "He doesn't do it much, but it pops up occasionally. Want to put his sneakers on?"

Derek hesitated, but kneeled down, taking out a pair of sneakers that clearly belonged to Justin. They were light up sneakers, with Spiderman on them. They were velcro, obviously so that Justin could attempt to do them up himself, and Derek awkwardly manuevered his tiny foot into the first sneaker, making sure it was completely on. He did the same with the other one, and when he went to pull the velcro straps across, Casey shook her head, to stop him. He looked up at her, confused, and she smiled faintly, shrugging.

"He can do that part himself," she explained, and when she nodded towards Justin, he saw that she was right; the little boy was pulling his own velcro straps together. Derek raised an eyebrow as he finished with the first sneaker, and went onto the second one, and although they were done up a little bit crooked, they were tight enough, and Derek was impressed. It was the most that he'd seen Justin do for himself, yet.

The second Justin finished putting on his sneakers, he looked up proudly, a tiny grin on his face as he locked his gaze with his fathers. Derek was silent for a moment, and he was actually surprised that Justin had initiated eye contact, since he rarely maintained it at all, but he managed to smile back weakly, as he swallowed hard, reaching out to pat Justin's shoulder proudly.

"Good job, bud," he whispered, and although the words had been meant for Justin, he was pretty sure that Casey had heard him. When he looked up, she was smiling happily at the tiny bit of progress that had occured between Derek and her son. She nodded her head at him, but didn't say a word as he straightened up, clearing his throat as he blushed furiously.

"Yeah, uh..." he stammered, shrugging one shoulder as he placed his hands in his pockets, nodding towards the door. "Let's just go now, okay?"

Casey's smile didn't fade either bit as she nodded her head, grabbing her son's hand, and following Derek out into the hallway of the apartment building.

- - - -

The park was only about a five minute drive from where Casey lived, and there were tons of kids playing at the playground, there. Casey apparantly brought Justin here alot, since he was a fairly active kid, with alot of extra energy. The playground, located in the middle of a huge park, was pretty big and even with the huge number of kids that were there, the park wasn't even crowded. Parents were standing off to the side, watching as their kids played, and some of them chatted amongst each other.

But Derek sat with Casey on a bench off to the side, trying to engage her in conversation as she watched Justin's every movement carefully. Apparantly, his motor skills could be poor sometimes, and he was known to slip, or trip and fall down, and not be able to tell anyone that he needed help, or that he was hurt. Keeping an eye on him was the only way to make sure he didn't get hurt, or know exactly what had happened if he did. Derek felt quite out of place here, in a pack of parents. He'd been in this park before, and he'd seen the parents that stood around the playground, chatting and watching their children. He'd never thought much of them, and he'd definitely never thought he'd be here, sitting with Casey as they watched their six year old son going across the monkey bars on the furthest side of the playground. He was playing alone, since there were two sets of monkey bars, and most kids preferred to use the newer set of monkey bars- the ones attached to the main playset.

"He's pretty good at that," Derek said, as he watched Justin swing easily across the bars, concentration in his eyes, and his tongue poking out slightly as he struggled to try and skip a bar.

Casey nodded, smiling proudly as she leaned her elbow back against the back of the bench, propping her head up on her hand.

"Yeah, he's pretty strong, despite his size," she said, shrugging. "He's actually really athletic. He likes soccer, but he can't join a team. He doesn't understand that there are rules, and teams, and he can't follow instructions. He doesn't have enough communication to even try to get involved in a league."

Derek watched as Justin's hand began to slip, and Casey began to tense, only relaxing when the boy tightened his grip, and swung onto the next bar, regaining his composure. She settled back down into her spot, and sighed, continuing.

"Sometimes in the summer, I'll take him over there, to that big grassy field," she said, nodding towards a huge opening slightly uphill from them, filled with green grass, and the occasional tree, creating shadows across the otherwise flat ground. Derek had walked past that field plenty of times, and he had seen the kids that played games of soccer there, or played tag, and even flew kites, sometimes. He couldn't ever recall seeing Justin there, though maybe his eyes just hadn't been looking for him, since he hadn't known about him then. He had to admit that he felt bad for Justin; the poor kid couldn't even join a sport's team- something that practically every young boy loved to do, at one point or another.

"He'll play soccer with me, but when I try to get him to play with the other kids in our building, he'll freeze up, and shake his head. He'll even play when Lizzie comes over, ocassionally, but nobody else can even attempt it. He just doesn't want to play with other kids, and I've gotten used to that. But he definitely developed your knack for sports."

Casey sounded distant, for some reason, and when Derek looked over, he saw her lower lip trembling a little bit. Some signal went firing off in the back of his mind, and his first instinct was to react defensively, and change the topic completely. He was fluent enough in the language of girls to know that a trembling lip, and that distant and mopey look in their eyes usually meant that the tears were coming. Whenever this happened with Vanessa, he'd just change the subject, so that she would hopefully forget about it, and he wouldn't have to deal with it, but for some reason, he found that he couldn't let it go that easily with Casey. He wanted to know why she was upset, and he wanted to make sure that she was okay.

"Case?" he questioned, frowning as he shifted a little closer to her. His voice was laced with concern, and she turned her head away from him slightly, her breath hitching in her throat. He didn't like being ignored, so he brushed his hand against her cheek to get her attention, and guided her face back into the right direction, so she was facing him again. Her eyes were filled with a whole new sadness, and Derek's heart clenched as he felt pity for her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked quietly, in his best comforting voice. She lowered her gaze, but he shook his head, rushing on. "Don't freeze me out, here. Tell me what's bugging you; maybe I can help."

"You can't help," she said, laughing sadly, her voice shaking with obvious sadness. Her eyes flickered back over to Justin, who had just hopped off the money bars, and had raced over to the swingset, and she sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

"It's just that... I dunno, sometimes I wonder what he would've turned out like, without the autism, you know?" she questioned, watching as Justin clambered onto a swing by himself. Another kid came over, and tried to say something to him, but Justin completely ignored him. The other kid quickly scurried off, as Justin swung himself back and forth as best as he could, and she shook her head, looking down into her lap, where her hands were resting.

"Other kids his age bring home friends," she said, sounding as though she was longing for a normal son, if only for a day. "Justin's never had a friend in his life, aside from me, his teacher, and our family. He knows the other kids in the building, but he won't make any effort to get along with them. To him... they're just _there_; they serve no purpose."

Derek hadn't heard this side of her story yet, the side that really did wish for a better life, a different life, anything other than _this_ life. He knew that Justin meant the world to her, and that she'd never give him up in her life, but he couldn't blame her for being slightly bitter; there was only so long that a person could hold that much emotion in, and he knew that she needed a release, right now. He was more than happy to listen to her, as long as it made her feel a bit better.

"Sometimes when I pick him up from school, I walk by the regular classrooms, and see the kids talking to each other, or finishing up their work, and I can't help but wish that Justin could communicate like that, or that he'd bring me home whatever he did in school that day. He's in a special program at school, and he only spends two hours a day in a normal classroom; one hour in the morning, and one in the afternoon. That's to try and get him exposed to being in a room with other kids, but he never responds to it. He likes it when he gets to go back down with his teacher... when he can work alone."

Derek watched as Justin hopped off the swing, and ran back to the monkey bars, obviously more interested in those, than in anything else that was going on.

"I've been told he might never get to follow a regular schedule, in a regular classroom," she said quietly, and before he knew what was happening, a tear had slipped down her cheek. Derek saw it, and for a moment, his entire body tensed, and he had no idea how to respond. Should he comfort her? Should he remain quiet, and pretend he hadn't seen anything at all?

But as another tear fell, and she bowed her head in a failed struggle to hide her emotion, Derek knew what he had to do, and he sighed, moving as close to her as he possibly could, and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, trying to give her a side hug. Before he could say anything, she had returned his side hug with a full-fledged one, turning and wrapping both of her arms around his neck, her face buried against his shoulder. He was surprised, and for a moment, he could've sworn that his heart had skipped a beat. But once he processed the fact that Casey was hugging him, he swallowed hard, and hugged her back lightly, not pulling her against him completely. He felt like that'd be too much- too awkward. It would've been way too much, way too soon.

"It's okay," he said, unsure of how to even comfort someone who was hurting in a way that he couldn't fix. "I know it's hard and stuff... and I know you... you wish that this hadn't happened- but..."

"It's not that I wish it hadn't happened," she murmered quietly, shaking her head as she looked up at him with hurt eyes. "Justin's the best thing in my life, and he's all that keeps me going sometimes. You don't understand... that little boy is my life. He's got me, and I've got him, and that's the one thing I can always be sure of. Even if everything else is going wrong, I know I've got Justin, and that keeps me grounded. It's something you can't understand, Derek, even if you tried."

He frowned, unsure of what that meant, and- sensing his confusion- she went on.

"You've got everything going for you in life, and you're surrounded by so many people that you can barely make time for all of them," she said, and he would've felt offended, if he didn't know that it was true. "But when you've got next to nothing, and you're basically on your own-"

"I get it," he said, nodding his head as he loosened his grip on her a little bit, finding it weird to be holding her at all. "Just relax, okay? Don't cry."

She stared at him for a moment as she sniffed, blinking back the rest of her tears, and he felt his heart racing in his chest as he tried to understand the stare that she was penetrating him with; it was almost like she could see right through him right now, and understand that he was confused about everything that had been introduced to his life lately.

"I've really missed you, Derek."

He tensed, trying to let these words sink into his mind, but before he had a chance to say anything, there was the sound of a cry from the direction of the monkey bars, and both Derek and Casey instinctively snapped their gaze over to where Justin was still swinging calmly on the monkey bars, as though nothing had happened. They both breathed sighs of relief as they realized that he was okay, and Derek unwrapped himself from Casey willingly, sort of glad, since that had been sort of awkward.

But their relief didn't last long, because immediately after noticing their son was okay, they saw that a man who looked to be in his late twenties, early thirties, was running towards the monkey bars, his eyes set on a little boy in jeans and a t-shirt, who was sitting on the gravel underneath the monkey bars, crying as he clutched his elbow. The man bent down next to the boy, who appeared to be around Justin's age, and Casey and Derek shared a worried glance, before getting up, and darting over to the monkey bars to see what had happened.

It only took a moment to figure out that the second little boy had obviously fallen. His elbow was scraped, though it was only bleeding very slightly, and he was crying as he sobbed to the man, trying to explain what had happened.

"Where does it hurt, Damien?" the man, who Derek presumed to be the father, asked with concern. "Are you okay?"

"He p-pushed me!" the boy Damien cried, as he pointed a shaky finger at Justin, who was swinging across the bars happily, not realizing that he had just injured someone. Casey closed her eyes briefly, blushing, and Derek stood there, unsure of how to handle this.

The other boy's father helped his son up off of the ground, and held onto the crying boy's hand as he turned to Casey and Derek, glaring angrily.

"Is that your kid?" he asked, nodding towards Justin as he hopped down from the monkey bars, and sat down in the gravel, leaning against the pole of the bars.

Casey nodded, not noticing that Derek, who was standing behind her, didn't even open his mouth to utter a word of agreement with her. She kept her gaze planted firmly on the ground as the man took a step towards her, dropping his son's hand.

"How about you keep your damn kid under control, lady?" he asked, narrowing his eyes as he hovered over her. "I saw what happened from over there. My kid was trying to take a turn, and that boy of yours shoved him onto the ground. There's two of you, and one of me- how can you not keep an eye on him?"

Casey was blushing, and Derek felt his hands clench into tight fists as he ground his teeth together, watching the man yell at Casey. Every protective instinct he had ever held for Csey was coming right back to him now, as he watched someone releasing their anger on her. The guy better watch his mouth, because if he thought a shove to the ground was bad, he really had another thing coming to him.

"And what's more, you're not even making him apologize," the father said menacingly, ignoring the way that other parents around the playground shook their heads in disgust at the overreactive man.

"Look, I'm sorry-" Casey started, but trailed off when the man's eyes wandered over to Justin, and he shook his head, glaring with disapproval.

"What the hell is he even doing?"

Derek and Casey both looked over to see that Justin was trying to make equal piles out of the gravel, as though they were sand. But because the rocks were so uneven and different, none of them were even staying in place, and he appeared to be getting very frustrated. His face was red, and his lip was quivering as he began to screw up his face. Derek sensed a trantrum coming, but the other man merely snorted, shaking his head as he turned back to Casey.

"Yeah, that's normal."

Casey opened her mouth to say something to him, but before she even had the oppurtunity to respond, Derek had stormed past her, and before anyone knew what was happening, the man was stumbling backwards as a result of Derek's hard shove. He caught himself on the pole of the monkey bars, and even Justin stopped, halfway to a tantrum, as he watched his father breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling as he struggled for much needed air.

Every last one of them was silent as the man watched Derek, waiting for some sort of response. And Derek wanted to haul back and hit him; so badly, he really did. He wanted to punch the guy for yelling at Casey, for making fun of his autistic son...

But he couldn't even find it in him to waste his energy on this obvious loser. So he merely shook his head, taking a step backwards as he fixed the man with a disgusted look, one that he hoped would send the message right down to the core.

"He's autistic, you bastard."

The man's face went white, and there was no fight left in him as Derek fixed him with one final glare, and backed up to where Casey had helped Justin off the ground, and onto his feet.

His eyes still fixed on the man, he shook his head, and took Casey's hand loosely in his own, for the sole purpose of directing her.

"C'mon," he said, his voice shaking with anger. "We've got better places to be than here."

And Casey didn't utter a single protest as Derek led them both from the playground, leaving behind a very guilty father, and a very confused son.

* * *

**So that's one hell of a father, eh? Wouldn't want that guy for a Dad, that's for sure. Anyway there was some Dasey in there, and the next chapter is when Derek gets to babysit Justin by himself, along with a dose of Dasey ! It's already started, so the quicker you review, the quicker I update, eh? Hope you liked. **


	11. Bonding

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Eleven: Bonding**

Call him crazy, but Derek Venturi was never fully awkae until he'd had his morning dose of caffeine, through his cup of tea from the local cafe; large, two milk, one sweetner; they knew his order off by heart, by now. He came in morning and night, whenever he was on his way to and from work. And this morning, he'd made a quick stop on his way to Casey's apartment, and he'd picked up a tea for Casey, and a tea for himself. He knew that she didn't like having mochas first thing in the morning, but that she liked tea. He could remember her order from years ago, and when he showed up at her apartment at seven thirty that morning, his first thought was that she didn't need this caffeine half as much as he did. His eyes were still half closed, and the couch across the room from him was looking incredibly promising to him, right now.

But Casey looked wide awake. Her makeup was done lightly, her hair was falling straight around her shoulders, her sidebang half covering her eyes, and she was dressed in head to toe in her work clothes- black clothes, not too fancy, but not all that casual, either. She looked like she'd gotten a decent night's sleep, and Derek wondered how she managed to seem so awake, when she had such a full day ahead of her.

"Got you tea," he murmered, as he stepped inside her apartment, and lowered his bag onto the floor, which contained whatever he had brought along for the day. He had brought along his laptop, so that he could get some work done whenever Justin was completely occupied, and he had some papers tucked into the bag too, to help him with that. Other than that, there wasn't much else in there of any great excitement, aside from his camera, which had been tucked in there since a few weeks before, when him and Vanessa had taken a trip to Montreal.

Casey took the tea from Derek's hands, smiling warmly as she took a sip of it, ushering him inside and closing the door behind him.

"Thanks Derek," she said, sounding grateful. "I really needed this, actually."

Before he had a chance to tell her that it wasn't a big deal, and that it was no problem, she had rushed on, and was hurrying over to the fridge, tea still in her hand as she pointed hastily to a scrap of paper displayed on the refridgerator door.

"This is a list," she said pointedly, and when he merely blinked at her, she rolled her eyes and continued. "My work number is on there, and if you can't reach that, try the other number; that's the other secretary, Lynea. If you can't get me there, try my cellphone... oh, and my work email is there too, just in case you still can't reach me. And the instructions for his breakfast and lunch are there, 'cause if you don't have it exactly right, he'll get really fussy, so make you you read it carefully. The lady down the hall, Brandon's mother, should be home around two, if you run into any real trouble, and-"

Derek moved forwards, clutching her wrist gently in his hand. She stopped talking, her mouth hung open mid-sentence, and she stared at him with confused eyes, as though she had forgotten that she had even been ranting to anyone. She took in a deep breath, and he trusted her enough to drop her wrist, and allow her to calm herself down. He shook his head, chuckling gently as he folded his arms across his chest, obviously trying to reassure her.

"Don't worry about it, okay?" he said, placing his hand on her back as he walked her carefully towards the door. "You worry way too much; we'll do fine."

There was hesitance in her eyes as she looked up, her forehead creased with worry, a disbelieving frown set firmly on her lips. She reached down to pick up her purse off the floor, and as she dug her car keys out of her coat pocket, and clasped them tightly in her hand. Her eyes were fixed on Derek's as she studied him with incredible worry and concern. It was obvious that the idea of leaving her precious little boy with anyone, even his own father, was absolutely nerve-wracking to her. He couldn't say he blamed her; the only other people who had ever watched him had been the mother of another autistic child, and their own family, who had been dealing with Justin's autism for just as long as Casey had. Leaving him with someone who had known him all of a week or two must be absolutely unbearable, to Casey. But he felt like he could do this; he was ready. The past week and a half or so around Justin had given him confidence, and taught him alot of the things that he knew he'd need to know to take care of his son, and he had a feeling that he could do it.

"Are you sure that you can handle this, Derek?" she asked, her voice scared and anxious. "I mean, you've only been around him for a week or two, and I'm always there, and it's not like you always know what he wants, and-"

"_Casey_!"

She stopped, her breathing heavy as she bit her lip, and nodded at him, after seeing the pointed look that he was fixing her with. She seemed to catch onto the fact that she was being absolutely ridiculous, for she started straightening up, getting ready to leave, even if it was obvious that she still had her doubts.

"Right," she said, still nodding as she slipped into her shoes. "Right, you know what you're doing, and if you really need help-"

"-which I won't," he interjected, but she went on as though he hadn't said a word.

"-you can call me," she finished, taking in a deep breath. "Right, okay... so I'm just gonna go to work, then. He's still in bed asleep, so if you want to go to sleep on the couch or something, you can. He probably won't wake up until nine thirty or ten today, because I let him stay up late to watch a movie with me last night. I figured that, if he stayed up a bit later, he'd sleep in easy, and then that might make it a bit easier on you. He'll get up on his own, and I'm sure he'll wake you up."

She started moving towards the door again, and he could only follow as she kept on spitting out instructions at him.

"Be sure to keep the door locked at all times; he could get out really easily, and it'd be impossible to find him if he did. I'll be home at around five today, because if you've got him, I might as well stay and get some of my other work done; I've been pushing it away for weeks. Is that alright, if I stay a bit later?"

Derek nodded his head, knowing that she desperately wanted those extra hours so that she might make those extra few dollars on her next paycheck. He couldn't blame her; she really needed the money.

"It's cool," he said, ushering towards the door, desperate for a bit of sleep. "I'll see you tonight. Have fun, work hard."

She rolled her eyes, grinning as she flipped her hair over her shoulder, and backed out of the door.

"Don't I always work hard?" she questioned, and with a quick wave, she had disappeared around the corner, into the hallway that led straight to the elevator, which would take her downstairs. He wasn't quite sure how she was so cheerful this early in the morning, but he decided against questioning it as he paused in the doorway for a moment, and yawned, shaking his head.

"I really need sleep," he decided, pushing the front door closed, and making his way back into the apartment. "That kid better stay asleep for at least a good hour or two."

He moved towards the couch, but he had only gotten halfway there when Casey's partially closed bedroom door caught his eye. She must have forgotten to close it all the way, because he knew that she usually preferred to keep it shut, to keep Justin out of trouble. Apparantly, he had been known to use her makeup as finger paint, and he supposed she didn't like that all too much. He didn't see the big deal; his mother's makeup had proved to be an excellent art tool, when he had been Justin's age.

He moved towards her door, deciding that he'd better close it, just in case Justin got up and it caught his eye, but when he approached the door, he found himself curious. From his spot, paused outside the door, hand on the doorknob, he could vaguely make out the image of several photographs lining the top of her dresser, which she must have retrieved from their parents house. There were at least seven or eight there, and he desperately wanted to go and look at them, to see what pictures she saw worthy of keeping around. He knew that it was wrong to poke around at other people's personal belongings, and he didn't want to intrude on her space, but he was extremely curious, and not so tired all of a sudden.

He glanced around the hallway quickly, biting his lip as he fought an internal debate with himself over whether or not he should do it, but when he realized that it would bug him if he didn't do it, he took a deep breath, and pushed the door open the rest of the way, until it lightly hit the wall behind it. He was nervous for a moment, and his body was tense as he took a step further into the room.

It was much like her room in high school, probably because she had half of the same furniture; he supposed that she hadn't been able to afford all new belongings, when she had moved in on her own. Her dresser from high school stood against the middle of the back wall, a light purple cloth draped over the top, with the framed photographs surrounding an aged jewellery box that had once belonged to her grandmother. It was open, the mirror barely catching the reflection of the man who shouldn't have even been in the room to begin with.

Her double bed from home was pushed against the farthest corner to the right, one window displayed right above it, the other located in the same location on the other end of the wall.

The comforter that was spread across her semi-large bed was a light purple color, with a darker purple around the edges, and in neat little squares across the top. There wasn't a single wrinkle in it, something that didn't surprise Derek in the slightest; he had known that she was still an absolute neat-freak. The two pillows at the head of the bed were dark purple, matching the ocassional squares on the comforter. The only thing lying stray across the bed was a single jacket, which he supposed she had tossed to the side that morning, while getting dressed.

Other than that, the room basically reflected Casey entirely; she still had a bookshelf, that was now crammed with more sophisticated novels, and the occasional children's book that he supposed Justin might have grown out of, since he had his own tiny bookshelf in his room, which was crammed full. There was a nightstand in the corner with a single lamp, and the room had a generally inviting feeling, to one who was supposed to be there.

He swallowed hard, and as he stepped fully into the room, he caught sight of his own reflection in the mirror on her left-hand wall. He frowned at himself as he squinted, recognizing that he was invading her personal space. Casey hadn't appreciated anyone coming into her room uninvited back in high school, and he highly doubted that she liked it now. It sent a chill up his spine to think that he was waltzing in here, uninvited. He really didn't think that she had anticipated him being so nosy, when she had agreed to let him babysit.

But he knew that his curiousity was going to overpower his guilt in the end, and that he wasn't doing himself any good by standing around here and staring at his own guilty reflection in the mirror, so he unclenched his fists, and let out a deep breath, crossing the room to her dresser. He ran his fingers gently along the edge of the completely dust-free surface, enjoying the soft feeling of the glaze-like wood beneath his fingers. He smiled lightly as he examined the jewellery box that he had first seen about nine years ago, when she had first moved in. He could remember very clearly how Marti had tried to take it for herself, and how Casey had wound up losing her cool, and yelling at her little stepsister, saying that it was important to her, and storming off to her room. She had slammed the door, and Derek had followed her, calling her out on yelling at his baby sister, like that. She had told him to go away, and that the box had belonged to her grandmother, who had died two years before. He hadn't said another word to her, but she had apologized to Marti the next day, once she'd had a chance to cool down a little bit.

That had been in the first week that the McDonalds and the Venturis had merged, and it didn't surprise him in the slightest that she still held this one piece of her own personal history so close to her- so special. He knew that she wouldn't have gotten rid of that- not for the world itself. Her grandmother's name was professionally carved into the top of the box, something Casey had done in her grandmother's memory when she was seventeen. Even though he couldn't see the top of the box, since it was open, he knew this. He had gone with her to pick it up from the place that had engraved it for her.

His eyes moved past the jewellery box, and to the four frames on either side of it. Five of the pictures were of the family; one of her and their sisters, one of her with Edwin and Lizzie, and two full family photos. The last family picture was of her with her father and Lizzie, when she was seven. He had always loved that picture of her; she looked so adorable. She had been missing a tooth, and had been proudly showing it off in a wide grin, to the camera. Lizzie had only been about four years old there, and she had been glancing into the camera timidly as she leaned against the other side of her father, obviously camera-shy.

He chuckled as his eyes moved forwards to the next photograph, one of her and Emily, at Emily's graduation party. Derek had taken this picture himself, and he remembered how many silly pictures the girls had insisted on taking before finally settling on this serious one. They had posed for pictures with their tongues sticking out, pulling on each others hair, making funny faces... the works. It had taken him twenty minutes to calm them down enough to take a serious pose, with both girls smiling as they put an arm around the other girl's shoulders. He couldn't help but smile at the memory of graduation night; it had been amazing.

The seventh picture had obviously been taken in California, because he knew for certain that there were no amazing beaches like that in Ontario, ignoring the fact that both girls were wearing bikinis, and were wearing dark-shaded sunglasses to shield their eyes from the obviously scorching sun. The other girl was extremely tan, and even Casey was sporting a bit of a tan as she grinned at the camera. Derek recalled his parents telling him that a friend had gone with Casey to the hospital, when Justin had been born, and he vaguely wondered if this had been that friend. She seemed alright; she looked friendly enough.

But still, Derek took notice of the absence of something in Casey's smile, as though something was on her mind. He realized that, if she wasn't really showing any signs of being pregnant yet, then she probably had only recently moved to California. He knew then, that the unhappiness and emptiness in her eyes was probably a result of everything that had happened lately, mainly losing the man she loved, through sacrifice. He also realized that she had probably been struggling with dealing with her pregnancy all on her own, and his eyes flickered for a moment to her flat stomach. His son had already been growing, at that point, and he wished with all his might that he had been on that beach with her, waiting anxiously for the smallest sign of carrying a child to come along. He knew that he would've been one of those idiots who wound up running around like a whipped little boy, making sure she was comfortable, and trying to feel if the baby kicked, or something. He knew that he would've been a sucker to a pregnant Casey. But for whatever reason, the girl in the photograph had chosen to freeze him out of this time of her life, and now he was being forced to make up for everything, all at once.

He sighed as he glanced towards the last picture- which was displayed in the very front, on the left hand side of the jewellery box. His heart skipped a beat, and he felt a chill go shooting up his spine as he recognized the picture that he had kept on his desk at work for years. It was the one of himself and Casey, that had been taken in the park, back in high school. His eyes scanned the familiar smile on Casey's lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck, hoisted up onto his back. He observed the look of sheer happiness on his face, displayed not by a smile- but in his eyes. That picture looked like it had come straight out of a magazine; it had been so professionally done, even with Derek's Nikon camera, at the time. It had been an expensive camera, and the pictures it had taken had been amazing.

But even if this photograph had been taken on nothing more than a cheap disposable camera, Derek knew that it would have been amazing. The happiness that was practically glowing off of the two of them was incredible, and it was so easy to tell that the two people in the picture loved each other. It looked natural, since Derek was overheated, and his hair was sticking to his forehead, and really, it had to be his favourite picture of all time. It surprised him that Casey had kept the exact same picture around for this amount of time. Actually, it surprised him that she had kept a picture of him around _at all_.

His fingers brushed the frame lightly, and he gave a gentle sigh, shaking his head. He'd made alot of mistakes in his life, and the biggest one had been letting Casey go. It's only reward had been that it led him to Vanessa, but sometimes he had to question if that had been a suitable sacrifice. He had been just as happy with Casey, hadn't he? Maybe even happier...

He pulled his hand away from the frame quickly, as though it's surface had burned his skin. He cringed as he shook his head, trying to shake himself out of his trance. He couldn't be having thoughts like those; it was unfair of him to be thinking about his past relationship with Casey, when it was just that- the _past_. He would be marrying Vanessa in about a month and a half, and he needed to make sure that all of his affection was focused on her, and only her. She was what mattered, and although Casey made a good friend, that part of their relationship was history. Just because old feelings were being stirred up, didn't mean he felt anything at all for her.

As he turned to leave the room, he spotted a couple of twenty dollar bills lying on her dresser, tucked underneath the jewellery box. They were hidden there in an attempt to conceal them, because she obviously didn't want to take all of her money with her when she left the house, since it was so scarce.

He sighed; she really had to learn to look, after she tried to hide something. She didn't even have the twenties fully concealed.

A thought occured to him, and he bit his lip as he reached into his pocket, grasping his wallet tightly in his hand, and pulling it out to unzip it. He felt around until his hand closed around a wad of paper bills; money. He glanced down into his hands, and sorted through it until he had picked out each of the five twenty dollar bills that were stored in there. He spotted some fifties, some fives, and one or two hundreds, but he knew she'd notice that. He was half hoping that she wouldn't question where a few extra twenties had come from, since that was what had been there to begin with. He knew that she would probably realize that she now had an extra hundred dollars, but he didn't much care as he tucked the five paper bills underneath the jewllery box with the rest of them, and turned his back, storing his wallet back in his pocket.

She didn't have to be informed everytime he did something nice, after all.

- - - -

Derek woke up at around a quarter to ten, to the feeling of something hard connecting with the side of his arm again and again. He tried to ignore it as he scrunched his face up, burying himself down against the couch in an attempt to go back to sleep. He felt around for a blanket to haul up over himself, but was annoyed when he found that he didn't have one. Why the hell didn't he have a blanket, dammit?

But as the smacking of an object against his arm continued, he realized that he didn't have a blanket because he wasn't home. He had momentarily forgotten that he was at Casey's apartment, babysitting his son. And since Justin was the only one home with him, he assumed that the constant assault on his arm was somehow related to the boy.

And sure enough, the moment he opened his eyes, he saw that Justin was poking him repeatedly in the arm with the remote control for the television, an annoyed and frustrated look on his face as he attempted to wake his father up. He was still wearing pajamas, and his hair was slightly ruffled. He had a Spiderman fleece comforter dragged out into the living room, spread across the floor evenly, directly in front of the TV. Derek was used to this; Justin had his blanket put in the exact same spot every single day that he came over, if he was watching TV. There was no use in trying to get him to sit on the couch, or in the recliner, because if he was trying to watch TV, he just wouldn't have it. He had to be sitting or lying down in the exact middle of that blanket, which had to be exactly in front of the television. And if anything was off, he would throw a fit.

Derek sat up groggily, his hair messed up as he squinted at his son in the newfound light, wanting desperately to lie back down and go to sleep again. He knew that Justin needed supervision though, so he forced himself to sit up straight, rubbing the back of his neck, where he had a slight crook from the angle at which he'd been lying.

"What is it, Justin?" he asked, his voice tired. "You want the TV on?"

Justin blinked at him, his hand holding out the remote, and Derek rolled his eyes, taking it as he flicked the power button. The TV immediately turned on, and he was relieved to find that it was already turned to Justin's favourite channel. Justin glanced over his shoulder at the cartoon that was currently playing, and a tiny hint of excitement was playing in his eyes as he turned back to his father, smiling slightly.

"Is that what you wanted?" Derek asked, and he received no response from the boy as he turned, and hurried to his blanket, practically throwing himself down to watch his show. Derek stared after him for a moment, before rolling his eyes, pushing himself up off of the couch and wandering over to the kitchen table, where his bag was now lying.

"Why do I even try?" he muttered, shaking his head as he watched Justin's eyes following every movement on the screen. "You like that damn TV show more than you like your own father."

He was bitter, and if he were to say that he didn't regret taking on such a huge responsibilty like becoming involved with his son's life... he'd be lying, because he did. He was really starting to regret making any promises to Casey, and if he could go back in time and decide not to get involved... well, he was pretty sure that his answer would be different. Sure, it was really cool to be able to hang out with Casey again, and being a father was pretty amazing, but trying and getting absolutely no results really didn't seem like a fair price to pay. He had agreed to become a part of his son's life in some spur of the moment glory. Maybe he'd had a crazy and mixed up vision of Justin being a little bit better than this, and of the two of them bonding a lot more than they were.

But he'd willingly made that promise, and despite how bleak things seemed, he knew that he'd have to stick by his word. He couldn't walk away from Casey after he had promised her he would stay, despite all her warnings about how hard this would be. She'd tried to ward him off, and she'd tried to protect him from this life that she'd been leading for years, but as usual, he had been stubborn, and he'd ignored her protests. And he'd found himself stuck here, with a son who didn't give a damn about him.

He was just about to look in the fridge and get himself a drink, when he felt his cellphone vibrating in his pocket. He frowned, and reached into his pocket, extracting the black cellphone from his pocket, and squinting at the screen. He saw that he had an incoming call from Vanessa, and he frowned, flipping the phone open, and pressing the Talk button. Without any real thought on the matter, he held the phone up to his ear, and got out a quick greeting.

"It's me," Vanessa said, as though she had no idea that he had Caller ID. "Listen, I'm at work now, and Brian just told me that the record label is having this big dinner on Friday night. It's their seasonal promotional party, or something, the one where they announce all the upcoming tours and releases, for the season. Everyone in management is telling me to make sure you're going to be there, because they expect you to make some speeches and stuff. So you're coming, right?"

Derek was momentarily taken aback by the abundance of information that his girlfriend had just thrown at him. He was used to these seasonal dinner parties that Sony BMG threw, for the employees, and the people that they had signed on. It was always a big deal, since the hottest bands and singers attended, but he was so used to being around celebrities that it wasn't personally a big deal to him, anymore. He was, after all, engaged to one of the hottest singers in North America. Celebrities weren't all that exciting to him, anymore.

And he had to wonder what the world would think if they were to find out that one of the world's hottest couples, Derek Venturi and Vanessa Williams, had any sort of connection with someone like Justin. He knew that it would probably impact their reputation, and really, there was no probably about it; it was more of a definite deal. He just didn't know whether that impact would be good or bad.

Something told him that he could almost count on a negative reaction from Vanessa, though. Because as much as she got involved in causes for children with disabilites, and all of those charity events, he knew that it was all for her reputation, and that if she wasn't receiving so much positive feedback from it, she wouldn't show her face in a children's hospital, or in schools for children with special needs.

And for some reason, despite his lack of bonding with his own son, he took offense to the fact that he knew Vanessa wouldn't take a liking to Justin.

"Derek?" she questioned, sounding offended that he had trailed off, once again. "Derek, did you hear me? I asked if you're planning on going to the dinner on Friday?"

"Wha-" he started, but then remembered what they were talking about. He shook himself out of his trance, and tried to regain some composure. "Oh, uh... yeah, sure babe. What time is it?"

"Six thirty," she said, sounding positive. "Everyone's going to be there, and we're allowed to bring guests, so if you wanted to invite your brother along like last time... I mean, as long as he doesn't try to wear a cape this time."

"He was kidding," Derek said, remembering how Edwin had shown up at Derek's apartment with his old 'Edweirdo' cape on over his tuxedo. Vanessa had been horrified, but the kid had been kidding, of course. He'd never intended on actually wearing the thing to the dinner party.

At least, Derek hoped that he hadn't been serious about it, but he did have a pretty weird brother, so it was almost impossible to tell.

"He can't go anyway," Derek sighed, shaking his head as he watched Justin grinning at whateveer was happening on TV. He was glad that his son was choosing right now to be quiet, because Derek really didn't want Vanessa to hear Justin having one of his tantrums.

"He's gone to Nova Scotia for a conference for work," he explained, as he made his way across the room, and took a seat on the couch again, slouching down lazily. "Other than that though, I'm sure he would've gone along. He loves dinner parties."

"Actually, I think he just likes the food, and the girls," Vanessa noted, sounding offended. "But whatever, it's cool. As long as you can go, that's all that matters. I've gotta go now, though; Brian wants me to try and get another few run-throughs of the album in before lunch. Personally, I think he's nuts."

Derek laughed, imagining a frantic Brian trying to squeeze in as many practices as possible. He said a quick goodbye to his fiancee, before hanging up his cellphone, and shoving it back into his jeans pocket again. He sighed as he glanced down at the magazine that was lying face down on the coffee table. As he picked it up, and glanced at the cover, he saw that he was met with his own face, along with Vanessa's. There was some bold headline about 'wedding plans; read inside for details', and he decided not to bother with it. Half of it was probably fake anyway, and he preferred not to bother himself with all the tabloids. He wondered vaguely why Casey had placed the magazine face down, but as he studied the picture, and saw that his arm was wrapped posessively around Vanessa's waist. He was pretty sure that this was something that Casey didn't exactly want to see everytime she glanced down at her coffee table.

It took Derek a moment to realize that Justin had gotten up off of the floor, dragging his blanket along behind him. His TV show had ended, and he had trailed over to Derek, his hand clutching his blanket loosely at his side. Derek looked up at his son, frowning slightly as he realized that the kid was fixing him with an uncertain look, as though he was contemplating something. He was looking straight into his father's eyes, and Derek maintained the eye contact, remembering what Casey had said about how hard it was to get Justin to look you in the eyes at all.

"Can I help you?" he asked, trying not to sound too bitter. "What is it, kid? You hungry?"

Justin stared at him for another second, before tossing his blanket up onto the couch carelessly, the end of it hitting Derek in the face. He grunted, but pushed the blanket away from his eyes, and watched as Justin clambered up onto the couch carefully, lifting the blanket up and crawling underneath it. Derek felt his own body tense as Justin leaned against his father's side, and placed his head down against Derek's shoulder. He pulled the blanket up over him, and Derek waited as he held his breath, waiting for something to happen. He was sure there had to be some sort of catch; Justin wouldn't just climb on up here and sit with a man that he barely interacted with, half the time. Hell, he never even sat on the couch by himself.

But Derek remembered Casey telling him that Justin did have his moments, and that he would sometimes come sit up here, on rare occasions.

And after a few moments of waiting, Derek realized that Justin wasn't going anywhere, and that he was settled in now, his fingers playing with the loose strands on the end of his comforter as he returned his eyes to the television screen, waiting patiently for the next program to come on.

Derek's body was tense, but as he looked down at the little boy lying so comfortably against his side, as though he belonged there... he felt something. He felt a slight connection- nothing too strong, but something that reminded him that this was Justin, this was his_ son_. He felt almost like a regular Dad, one who bonded well with his kid, who had been there through everything that his kid had ever gone through.

Like someone who was meant to be a father.

And that was when he felt his body relax, and he managed to smile a very tight-lipped smile as he relaxed against the couch, resting his eyes on the television screen.

Maybe Justin's autism wasn't as big of a roadblock as he thought it was.

- - - -

Casey finally got home at around five thirty that evening, looking tired and worn, but nonetheless cheerful, and eager to see her son.

When she came in through the front door and dropped her purse down next to the closet, she immediately glanced over towards the TV, to see if Justin was in his usual spot. When she saw that he wasn't, her first instinct was to panic. She had left her six year old boy with autism home with somebody who had next to no experience with the disorder, for an entire day. What had she been thinking? She had been so stupid to think that this was a good idea. What was she supposed to do, if her misjudgement may have caused her boy some sort of harm?

She looked towards the kitchen, and noticed that the dishes had been done and put away, and that the counters had even been wiped down. Derek had even cleaned the pots and pans that he would've used, today. In fact, the whole apartment looked pretty tidy, as opposed to when she had left it this morning, since she hadn't had much of a chance to clean up.

But none of that meant anything, if Justin wasn't there.

She felt her muscles tighten, and her breathing constrict as she glanced around the apartment desperately. She wasn't sure what she was looking for. She half expected to see Derek come walking out, saying that he couldn't find Justin. She was even expecting Justin to come running out of his bedroom to greet her, therefore eliminating her worries.

But what she didn't expect was what she found. When she finally let her eyes wander across the room to the couch, she saw that Derek was sitting there, slouched down slightly, his eyes focused on some point across the room. The television was off, so she wasn't too sure what he was so concentrated on, but she didn't care- because right next to him, sound asleep, was Justin.

She frowned, and she took a few cautious steps forwards as she examined the scene in front of her a bit more carefully. Justin was dressed in his daytime clothes now, and it was obvious that a comb had been run through his hair, at some point. His eyes were closed, and his little chest was rising and falling in even breaths, as he breathed in and out, sound to the world. His mouth was open slightly, and his head was resting against Derek's shoulder. Derek himself had his arm draped across Justin's shoulder, as though he was holding him even closer, and he was slouched down slightly. It was obvious that he hadn't noticed Casey coming in, because even now, when she was a mere three feet away from him, he didn't turn his head. He merely allowed his son to sleep against his shoulder, the end of the blanket that wasn't covering Justin draped across his right knee loosely.

And slowly, a smile crept upon Casey's lips. Oh, it was moments like these that she wished she had a camera. Derek and Justin looked absolutely adorable together, when they were all cuddled up like that. It was a true father and son moment, and she knew by the warm feeling inside of her that Derek had finally found some sort of a bond with his child, even if she knew there would still be alot of adjusting, to do. She wasn't even sure if Derek's fiancee knew about his son, but at that particular moment, she didn't care, because this was too cute for words.

"Someone take a picture," she said, laughing quietly as she perched herself on the edge of the couch next to Justin, trying not to wake the boy. Derek's eyes fluttered open, and he looked over at her, squinting slightly in the daylight. She smiled at him, obviously pleased with the progress that had been made since she left that morning.

"This is just too cute," she said, shaking her head as she smoothed Justin's strands of messy hair away from his forehead. "How was he?"

Derek would've straightened up to face her, but he didn't, out of fear of waking his sleeping son. He stayed put in his spot, shrugging his free shoulder as gently as possible.

"He was really well behaved, actually," he said, nodding his head. "He had a bit of a fit after lunch at some point, because he couldn't find one of his toys, but I found it for him, and he's been pretty good for the rest of the day. Only one or two tantrums, besides that. It went alot better than I thought it would."

Casey was smiling, her eyes still glued to the two of them, and as much as she didn't want to question this obvious miracle, she knew that she had to ask.

"Did he come over to you?" she asked, motioning towards Justin's position now. "Did you come to him, or did he come to you?"

There was a tiny hint of a smile on Derek's lips as he nodded his head proudly, some sense of happiness washing over him.

"He came to me," he said, his voice confident. "This morning, after he finished watching one of his shows. He stayed there until lunchtime, and he came over about a half an hour ago... he lay down here and fell asleep. I don't know what it is, he just... it was like... I dunno, he suddenly trusted me, or something. He just suddenly opened up to me."

"It probably wasn't sudden," she admitted, shaking her head as she leaned back against the back of the couch. "He's probably gotten used to you over the past week or so, but when I'm around, that's where his attention is focused. But since you were home with him today... he probably wanted to test the waters... see if he could trust you."

"He can," Derek said quietly, his arm tensing around Justin. "He can trust me... and so can you."

He looked back up at her, seeing that she was fixing him with a look of pure amazement, obviously surprised that he had made this much progress with the boy in one short day. He knew that she definitely wasn't disappointed, because her eyes were absolutely pleased as she smiled at him, nodding her head.

"I know that."

There was silence between them for a moment, and Derek was afraid that they were going to let everything get really awkward between them again, like it did every other time that they ran out of things to say to each other. But he didn't want to let that happen, so he cleared his throat, sitting up a tiny bit straighter to adjust his back, which was starting to hurt at the angle he was slouched down at.

"Listen, how about I take you guys out for supper?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "My treat. He's been really good all day long, and I know you've probably worked hard today... and, well... do you want to?"

She looked hesitant, and she frowned as her eyes flickered down to her sleeping son.

"I don't know," she admitted, blushing slightly. "He can get unruley when he's out in public, sometimes. It gets him all wound up, and-"

"Have a bit of faith in the kid," Derek argued, laughing slightly. "He's been good all day. We can get a booth, and seat him back onto everyone else... he'll barely know there's anyone else there. How about it, huh? It'll be fun."

She still looked hesitant, and he grinned, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I heard this place serves a mean vegetarian burger," he bribed, and when she looked up this time, she was smiling. "Come on, Casey. How bad can it be?"

She sighed, rolling her eyes as her conflict came to an end, and she shrugged, obviously with defeat.

"It can be pretty bad, but I guess you win this time," she offered, standing up. "I'll go out to dinner, if that's what you want."

Derek grinned, relaxing as he realized that he had won, as he usually did. Why had he even doubted himself? He always won, and he knew just how to manipulate Casey into going out, sometimes. After all, someone had been forced to lure her out of her boring study sessions when she was in high school, and that someone had usually been him, bribing her with a makeout session.

"By the way," he said, as something occured to him. "Friday night at six thirty, Sony's having this company dinner for all the employees, and their families. I'm allowed to bring guests, and I'd really like it if you and Justin came along with me. I mean, Vanessa is going to be there too, but I'm sure she won't mind."

Actually, he knew that she would most definitely mind. He knew that she'd have a fit if she found out that Derek had invited Casey and Justin along to the dinner, but he could deal with her later. He knew that he'd have to think of a way to either tell her that Justin was his son, or hide it from her, but he decided that, at the moment- it was unimportant. He had four and a half days to figure that out, and he wasn't going to worry about it right now.

"A dinner?" Casey asked, fear flickering across her face. "With your company? Like... celebrities, and stuff?"

He nodded, as he carefully untangled himself from Justin, and lowered the sleeping boy onto the couch as slowly as possible. When he stood up, he fixed her with a serious look, not wanting her to find an easy way out.

"Yeah," he said, confirming this for her. "With all those famous people you see on TV all the time. What's the problem?"

She stared at him for a moment, blinking at him as though he had about fifteen heads. He knew what she was thinking, and he wasn't about to let it stop her from coming along with him and Vanessa. He wanted her there, and she was going to be there, no matter who protested it.

"I have a six year old boy with autism, Derek!" she reminded him, trying not to raise her voice, for fear of waking their son. "How is he going to fit in at an event like that? I can barely take him out to a regular restauraunt! Besides, aren't the media going to be wondering who the little boy is? As far as the world knows, you don't have a kid."

Derek waved a hand, knowing that she was right, but not wanting to face that right now.

"That's minor," he offered, as though it were no big deal. "Relax, okay? I'll get everything straightened out. All you've got to do is come with me."

She was silent, watching as he folded his arms across his chest, his eyes set on her face. There was nothing but hesitance and worry in her eyes, but when he looked at her, he tried his hardest to ignore that, and sound completely determined.

"Please, Casey?"

There must have been something desperate in his voice, because a moment later, she had gave a defeated sigh, and nodded her head, unfolding her arms from across her chest. She still looked reluctant, and he had a feeling that she still wasn't too sure about this, but Derek Venturi always got what he wanted, and this was no exception.

"Fine," she said quietly, running a tired hand through her hair. "I guess I could-"

"Great!" Derek interrupted her, grinning as he clapped his hands together, and changed his demeanor entirely. "Now, let's get ready, and go out to dinner!"

She stared at him in awe as he walked right on past her, hurrying to gather everything up.

Honestly, that boy was a walking and talking mood swing.

* * *

**So this chapter was long, and it was supposed to be longer... but I cut it because it was too extensive. The next chapter is going to be filled with drama, and it will be at the Sony BMG dinner. So I will update with that soon. Never got as many reviews in the past few chapters, but if you guys have any feedback whatsoever, let me know because it helps. I will update soon, so pleasee review! Thanks.**


	12. Derek's Son

**Disclaimer" I own nothing.**

**Chapter Twelve: Derek's Son**

For what felt like the hundredth time that week, Derek was having a very heated argument with Vanessa. She was absolutely impossible to get along with, at times. Ever since he had told her that Casey and Justin would be coming along to dinner, on the Wednesday before the event, she had been having random mood swings at him, at the weirdest of times. She had initially been so mad that she had stormed out of his apartment, and not bothered to contact him until Thiursday afternoon, at which point she got mad at him for not coming after her. She'd been even more angry about the fact that he had invited his ex-girlfriend and her son to a dinner that she would be attending, also. He knew where she was coming from, he guessed. It must be pretty annoying when your boyfriend's ex was suddenly everywhere you turned, but Justin was his son, and Casey was his friend, and if he wanted them there, they were allowed to come. He wasn't going to let Vanessa have a say in this.

He thought that he had finally found peace, by Thursday evening. Once he had finally convinced her to settle down, he had thought that she was alright again. She had sat down on the couch with him to watch a movie, and they'd engaged in a nice little makeout-fest soon afterwards. Things had gotten pretty heated, and they might have gone farther, if the phone hadn't rang. He had been slightly resentful of whoever was calling, at first, but when he picked it up and discovered that it was Casey, wanting to confirm times for the dinner, he had found that he didn't mind all that much. But, of course, Vanessa had.

She'd complained for over a half an hour that Casey was becoming way too involved in his life, and that everytime they tried to spend quality time together, she'd ruin it- even if she wasn't there. She had whined and complained for a solid forty five minutes, at which point Derek had claimed that he'd had enough of her attitude, and he'd stormed out of the apartment, even if he was the one who lived there.

And now, tonight, he found himself in the exact same situation that he had been in the day before. Vanessa hadn't fully forgiven him for walking out on him last night, and she was gone off the wall again, complaining that he spent too much time with other girls, and that he'd better keep his hands where they belonged, or he'd pay.

"I mean... _really,_ Derek!" she cried, pacing back and forth in front of his couch as he slouched down, yawning with boredom. "Any other girl, I could almost understand. But to hang out every single day with a girl who you went out with for like... three years, that's just wrong. I mean, you even admitted to me that she was the first girl you loved, and to be honest, that makes me uncomfortable. I trust you, but I don't even know her enough trust her, and besides... how do I know you won't start feeling something for her again?"

"I won't," Derek said, shaking his head as a frown graced his lips. "Babe, I only have those feelings for you. Me and Casey have known each other for years, and I can't begin to tell you how much I missed her, over the past seven years. If you're scared that I'm going to start liking her again, then forget it, because I don't feel anything like that for her. She's my friend, and she's going through a rough time- trying to raise Justin all by herself. It's about time she had some help with it."

Vanessa snorted, folding her arms across her chest as she turned her head to the side, as though she couldn't stand to look at him.

"She wouldn't have that problem if she hadn't slept around and landed herself a kid," she said coldly, and he could feel his hands tightening into fists as he tried not to get angry with his fiancee. There was enough tension between them right now, and if he were to make too obvious of an attempt to defend Casey, she'd get even angrier, and claim that he was taking Casey's side over her own. Because of that, he attempted to push his urge to defend Casey back down into the shadows of his mind, where he wouldn't feel the need to touch on them again- to Vanessa, anyway.

"It's not your responsibilty to be looking after some kid that she probably never even wanted to begin with," Vanessa told him, as though this was a subject in which she was clearly educated on. "I've told you before, and I'll tell you again; that girl only wants you around for your money. No, no... don't give me that look, because it's true. Just think about it, Derek. A girl who has been freezing you out of her life for years suddenly wants to make things right with the man who is loaded with money. She's struggling financially, and I guess when she bumped into you a few weeks ago, she sensed an oppurtunity."

Derek stared at her, his mouth hanging slightly open as he processed her words. It wasn't that the idea was all that ridiculous, because if he didn't know the circumstances of the situation, he would probably believe it. But he knew that Casey wasn't using him for his money, not at all. For starters, she hadn't wanted him to get involved in the first place, and secondly, she never accepted money when he tried to give it to her. But he knew that Vanessa would get angry if he defended her, or told her that he had offered Casey money, so he merely let her continue her assault.

"You're playing right into her little trap, babe... and I don't want to see you get used by someone who I happen to know hurt you quite badly in the past."

Derek looked up, wincing slightly at the mention of his and Casey's past. He hadn't told Vanessa much about the relationship, and about what had gone on, because really- they didn't have that kind of relationship. They weren't completely open and honest with each other, and Derek knew that she never looked past his words for a deeper meaning- not usually, anyway. She would normally listen to what he was saying, and accept it for what it was, regardless of whether or not she thought he was lying. They were more of a physical couple, and Derek would be lying if he were to say that he often longed for something a little more emotionally stimulating. That wasn't something that he easily admitted to, obviousy- he was a guy, after all. But really, every relationship had to have some sort of an emotional connection, right? He hoped that he was just going through a phase, because he was honestly beginning to question whether they had a bond at all. Yeah, he had always just assumed that he loved her, but lately he had found himself questioning just exactly _why _he loved her. Did he really only feel an attraction towards her because she had been there for him, because she was hot? Because someone had finally taken the time to care about him?

He didn't know, and honestly, the answer terrified him. He was getting married soon; he couldn't be having these sorts of thoughts now. If he started questioning whether or not he really loved her, he'd find himself more screwed up than when he started, and he couldn't afford that right about now. But he knew that he really should stick up for Casey, to some extent, so he took a deep breath, and prepared to be attacked.

"Casey's not a whore," he said quietly, shaking his head. "She doesn't sleep around, and she never got landed with some kid she doesn't want. She wants Justin, and I can tell you now that it's not at all what it looks like. She's a really good mother, and she's not in this for money; not at all. I don't want you to judge her until you get to know her, alright? She's a really nice person, and I think that... I dunno, if you two got to know each other a little bit better, you might just find that you like her."

Vanessa looked extremely doubtful, and he could sense by the look in her eyes that she was about to shoot down this idea, flat out. But he wasn't about to let his fiancee judge one of his best friends before she had even gotten the chance to meet her, so he shook his head, his eyes determined as he stared her down.

"Not a word," he said, and when her mouth fell shut with surprise. "You don't even know her. If you want to meet her, and _then _judge her, then go ahead- be my guest. But you've never even met her, and if the two of you can't get along for one night, then I won't even be showing up at this dinner, because this is getting absolutely ridiculous. I don't go around saying stuff like this about any of your friends, so I'd appreciate it if you'd put your jealousy aside for one night, and be nice to her."

Without another word, he had jumped up from his spot on the couch, his eyes narrowed angrily as he struggled to keep his breathing under control. He stormed right on past Vanessa, and he saw the look of surprise and concern in her eyes as he grabbed his keys off of the kitchen table, and headed towards the door.

"Derek!" she called out, as though she really hadn't expected a reaction like this from the man. "Derek, wait."

"I'll meet you there."

He let the door slam behind him, leaving Vanessa in complete and total silence. The sound of his footsteps retreating down the hallway was all that could be heard, anymore.

Women were so damn difficult to get along wtih, sometimes.

- - - -

The Sony dinner was always held in this huge conference centre, in downtown Toronto. The place was absolutely breathtaking, once they decorated it a bit, and it was one of the most expensive places around to host an event. But it wasn't like Sony didn't have the money, or anything. They were one of the richest companies in the music industry, and the costs of hosting a dinner party were practically nothing, to them.

But for Casey, who had never been to this sort of thing before, he suspected that this was something that was completely mind-boggling, to her. Celebrities were walking around the place casually, mingling and chatting with each other, and Derek was pretty sure that Casey had almost fainted when she caught sight of one of the boys in Our Lady Peace nodding at her, in greeting. Derek had wanted to laugh at this, because generally, these were people that he had met quite a few times in his life. Celebrities just didn't phase him anymore, because he was exposed to the celebrity scene day in and day out, with the combined efforts of his job, and the girl he was marrying. It was hard not to be well known when you had brought so many bands and solo artist's to the top of the charts, or when you were marrying the girl that everyone was listening to on their IPODs, these days.

"This is so overwhelming," Casey said quietly, as she stayed close to Derek, trying not to get lost in the hundreds of people that were milling around, greeting each other. Her hand was clasped tightly onto Justin's, as though she was scared that he'd get away. The poor kid was too amazed by the crowds, and the fancy, eloquent setting to even bother being a nuisance, right now. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open as he glanced around the huge space, trying to take everything in at once.

"Where's Vanessa?" Casey finally asked, and Derek felt a wave of guilt wash over him as he realized that he had forgotten that his fiancee was even coming along to the dinner. He had been so preoccupied with making sure he didn't get seperated from Casey and Justin, that he hadn't even stopped to think about Vanessa. He hadn't left before her because he had been angry, though this had been a bonus; he had left because he was required to show up a little bit earlier than her, to register his guests with the crew at the door. He'd also had to drop by and pick up the two of them at Casey's apartment, so he had decided to leave a good half an hour before Vanessa, for good measure. She would be getting a ride with Brian, her manager, and Derek had a feeling that she would be arriving very shortly, if she wasn't already here.

"I don't know, she left after I did," he said in response to Casey's question, shrugging his shoulders. "The tables inside have arranged seating, though... and she's at my table, so I'm sure we'll find her eventually. I'm not worried."

Casey nodded, biting her lip as she lowered her gaze to the ground. Derek turned his head, glancing down at the shy looking woman with a look of concern on his features. She had been perfectly fine during the car ride over here, but the second they had walked through the front doors, she had been strangely quiet, and had kept a low profile. She trailed along next to Derek, but it was like she felt like a complete outsider. And Derek most definitely didn't want her to feel that way. She was a part of his life, and he knew that he couldn't hide that from anyone anymore. Vanessa would have to get used to Casey, because he valued this friendship alot, and he wasn't about to let it fall apart because of anything his fiancee said to him.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, his voice laced with concern as he touched her elbow gently. "You seem really quiet."

She looked up at him, her eyes still a bit nervous as she nodded her head uncertainly.

"I'm okay," she assured him, and because he did not look at all convinced, she went on. "Really, I am. I'm just worried about getting seperated from you, here. I have no idea where I'm going."

Derek sighed, before reaching down, and taking her free hand gently in his. He felt his stomach swirl with a weird sensation as his fingers laced through hers softly, her smooth skin brushing against his own, rougher skin. He hadn't held her hand like this in years. Sure, he had grabbed onto her hand the other day, in the park... but that had been different. He had really only had a hold on her hand then, but this was different. This was the sort of contact that made his stomach tense, made his head spin... made his palms sweaty with nervousness.

_'Oh God,_' he thought to himself, as a horrible thought registered itself in his mind. _'I'm worse than some stupid schoolboy with a crush_.'

He shook the thought out of his head as he nodded at someone that he really didn't know the name of, and made his way towards the double doors that led into the huge room in which they would all be eating, shortly. He didn't want to stay out here in the lobby anymore, if it was going to make Casey either bit nervous. He knew that she wasn't used to these sort of crowds, and judging from the fact that even Justin was starting to look uncomfortable, the boy didn't like being around so many people at once. He was moving past his shocked stage, and was just getting annoyed with the lot of it, now.

"Look for my name," he said, motioning towards the little plaque cards lying in the centre of each table, with names written beautifully against them in a golden colour, one that practically shone off the paper. He made his way towards the front, since that was where his table was usually located, and sure enough, he finally found the table that had been set aside for himself, and his guests.

_'Williams/Venturi + 2'_; the sign read. Derek motioned towards the table, but before any of them could even approach it, he heard a female voice calling out his name from somewhere behind him. There wasn't that many people that had made their way into the room yet, so it wasn't hard to spot Vanessa, when he turned around.

She was smiling, as though nothing had happened between them earlier. Derek did have to admit that she looked a little bit too cheerful, but he had to give her credit for not showing up in a sulky mood, all the while giving Casey dirty glares, like he had assumed she would do. No, the girl was all smiles, and Derek could have sworn that maybe she was even making an attempt to make up for her previous attitude, and get back on Derek's good side. Whether or not she was faking it, which he had a feeling that she wasn't, he appreciated her efforts.

He dropped Casey's hand as Vanessa stopped in front of him, her cheeks a bit red from rushing to push past the crowds of people, he supposed. She had a much harder time getting away from the media and other celebrities than Derek did, considering she was one of the actual singers, whereas Derek was merely an executive. Sure, they both had alot of publicity following their lives, but that didn't mean that she didn't have it harder than him. It could take them hours to get away from media attention, sometimes. And at events like this, there was always handfuls of media stationed outside the buiding, milling around with cameras and tape recorders. Derek was hoping that they hadn't managed to get a picture of Casey and Justin with him, because he knew that- if they had, there would be alot of question about who the woman and child spotted with Derek Venturi had been. It wouldn't be as big of a deal to Derek, but Casey wasn't used to opening a newspaper and seeing her name splashed across the front cover, in whatever ridiculous rumor that the public was now believing, this week.

But he knew that, if the media was going to get pictures of them, they would, and there was no sense spending the entire night stressing over something that would probably happen anyways.

"Sorry I'm a little bit late, babe," Vanessa said, as she adjusted her purse onher shoulder. "Brian had a mini-panic attack on the way over here. See, I forgot to tell him that I was at your apartment, and he had the limo stopped outside my place for well over twenty minues. According to the driver, he thought I'd died... er, again."

Derek chuckled, and when Vanessa sensed that things were okay between them again, she placed her hand gently on his arm, her fingers lightly brushing the material covering his elbow, and she kissed him quickly on the lips. It was a short lived kiss, and by the time Derek had placed his hand on her waist, to try and pull her closer, she had pulled away again, letting her hand fall down to grasp his. Derek felt a weird feeling run through him as he noticed the absence of that spine-tingling feeling that he had gotten when Casey held onto his hand, but he tried to ignore it as he turned towards Casey, who he only then realized had been forced to stand there and watch him kiss Vanessa. He knew that she was over him, but still, it had to be a little bit weird to watch, right?

He could tell that he was right on that, because when he saw Casey's face, he noticed that it was a bit paler than before, and that her lips were pursed tightly together, as though she was fighting back some really powerful words. Derek immediately let go of Vanessa's hand, trying not to be as publicly affectionate towards her, and when Vanessa frowned, Derek stepped back, as though he had dropped her hand for an actual reason.

"Um, Vanessa... this is Casey McDonald... and... well, you already know about her," he said, shaking his head as he tried his best not to make this awkward. "And Casey, this is Vanessa Williams, my fiancee. You, uh... obviously know who she is."

"Of course," Casey said, putting on her best smile as she extended a hand for Vanessa to shake. Only Derek seemed to sense that her smile was fake, because Vanessa looked surprised, and momentarily guilty that she had been so bitter towards Casey. Derek knew that, even if it was only going to be short-lived, Vanessa would probably make some sort of an attempt to be nice to Casey, if she thought that Casey was trying to be nice to her. But he wasn't fooled; he knew that this night would most likely end in these two hating each other. He wasn't stupid, and he knew enough about girls to know that your fiancee, and your ex-lover would never get along all that well. He'd been forced to sit through chick flicks before... and he was just hoping that this particular situation wouldn't end up in one of those 'fight to the death, catfights', that he had seen so often before.

Vanessa shook Casey's hand quickly, but both women ensured that it was merely a split second ordeal, before dropping the other's hand. Derek paused for a moment, not exactly satisfied with this, but he decided it would have to do as he reached down, his hand brushing Justin's shoulder as he struggled to get his son's attention. He found himself wishing that he had at least told Vanessa about his son's condition, but he knew now that he would have to suck it up; he couldn't change the past, and she had to find out sometime.

"This is Justin," he said, leaving out the last name on purpose. Casey's head turned slightly with surprise, but Vanessa took no notice as Derek went on. "He's Casey's son."

Casey opened her mouth, but one look from Derek caused her to close it again, and fall quiet. He saw the hurt look in her eyes, and he knew immediately that not telling Vanessa about having a son had been the wrong choice. He never wanted to hurt Casey, but he knew now that he had. One of the things that she had made very clear was that she was not ashamed of her own son, and it was obvious that she resented Derek for denying the boy's exsistance, in his life. He wished that he could talk to her about it, but that was impossible, with Vanessa right there beside him.

Vanessa hadn't seemed to notice a thing as Casey looked away from Derek, and held onto her son's hand a little bit tighter. Derek watched as Vanessa leaned down, smiling her best at the boy. He was glad that she was not going to hol some personal grudge against Justin for being Casey's son... that would be wrong, on so many levels. She seemed to understand that she couldn't hate the kid, just because of who his mother was.

At least, Derek hoped that she understood that.

"Hello Justin," Vanessa said happily, her smile never fading. Derek bit his lip, and Casey looked away, as Justin kept his eyes focused on some point across the room. Vanessa seemed slightly taken aback by the boy's reaction, but she tried not to let it phase her as she repeated the words a second time, earning herself the same reaction.

She looked up at Derek, her eyes filled with confusion as she tried to figure out why this little boy was looking right through her. It was weird for all eyes not to be on Vanessa, so he understood that she was a little bit confused by Justin's atittude towards her.

"Derek?" she questioned, shaking her head to indicate that she didn't understand. "Why isn't he answering me? Why is he-"

Casey and Derek shared a look, and he knew without asking that Casey was extremely angry with him, for hiding the majority of Justin's exsistance from his own fiancee. He wished that she wouldn't be angry, but he knew that she had a good reason, and her reaction was completely justified. He was grateful that she wasn't publicly displaying her anger, and telling Derek off then and there for the lies he had told. He wouldn't have blamed her, but he was relieved that she was letting him carry on with his little lie, for now anyways.

Derek looked down at his son, ignoring his fiancee's question, and he took a nice long look at the little boy. He remembered what he had first thought about Justin, when he had failed at communicating with him, so many times. He had thought the kid was hopeless and pathetic, and he was ready to admit that- yes, he had been ashamed of Justin. But it only took one flashback to a few days before, when Justin had been asleep against his side, to know that this little boy needed to be loved and cared for. All he wanted was for his parents to take care of him, and to be able to live as normal of a life as possible. All he'd ever had was Casey, and she had never once been ashamed to call Justin her son.

And Derek knew that, even if he didn't admit that Justin was his son just yet, he couldn't hide the boy's condition from anyone, no less Vanessa. Casey's eyes were watching Derek intensely, and he knew what she wanted from him. He knew that she was waiting to see if Derek was as big of a jerk as she had assumed he was, from the start.

He didn't want Casey to see him as a jerk, he really didn't.

"Justin has autism, Vanessa," he said, his eyes locked with Casey's as the relief flickered through them, and the corners of her mouth turned upwards slightly, into something resembling a smile. He knew that he was by no means off the hook just yet; she'd be angry with him later, for not telling Vanessa that he had a son, but he was inching back onto her good side, at least.

"He's not going to be able to communicate with you right away, but I'm sure you could try again later."

Vanessa's arms had somehow folded across her chest, and her eyes were cold and emotionless as she stared at Derek, looking ready to kill. It occured to Derek that he was in the middle of two girls who both wanted to kill him, right about now, but he tried not to let it get to him as he bit his lip, his eyes locking with his fiancee's.

"Babe?" he asked, his voice slightly worried. "Did you hear what I said to you?"

She seemed to snap out of some sort of a trance as she nodded her head, her lips set in a firm little line. She tried her best to shake herself of the coldness she had been fixing Derek with only moments before, and she nodded her head as she tried to look as friendly and warm as she had only moments before. It wasn't really working, but he hoped that Casey would at least appreciate her efforts. He knew that anyone who was cruel to her son had a deathwish, so he hoped that Vanessa would at least pretend to be nice and accepting towards the boy.

"I heard you," Vanessa said, sighing. "I hate to tell you this, but I don't know all that much about autism. I mean, I know a little bit, but-"

"Didn't you make a donation to an autism society last year?" Casey asked, her eyes slightly resentful as she fixed Vanessa with a penetrating stare. "You were playing with that one little boy Jake, I think his name was. They had a documentary on channel eleven, about it."

Derek knew that Casey would've tuned into anything to do with autism, and he also knew that she was going to be quick to judge, if Vanessa said so much as one mean thing about Justin. Unfortunately, he also happened to know that Vanessa was right; she didn't know all that much about autism, and he knew that she didn't really care to find out, either.

Vanessa laughed, shrugging her shoulders as she shook her head at the woman who had once shared such a close bond with her soon to be husband.

"All that was scripted, for the most part," she admitted, and Derek sensed the coldness in Casey's stare. He knew then that Vanessa was definitely on her bad side, at this point. Casey definitely wouldn't respect someone who had gone on television, ranting about autism, while really having no real understanding of it. He knew that she was very protective of her son, and anyone who made a mockery of the condition he was faced with everyday was definitely not in her good books.

Derek decided that it would be in everyone's best interests if he were to just change the subject, and get onto something better. He didn't want the two of them to start off any worse than they already had.

"How about we sit down?" he asked hopefully, motioning towards the tables. "Everyone is starting to come in now anyway. We must be starting soon."

Neither woman looked too thrilled to be there anymore, but nonetheless, they both nodded and moved towards the table, Justin shyly clutching his mother's hand as Derek ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a slight breath of relief, just happy that they had obliged to sitting. As long as he could keep some steady conversation going throughout the duration of their meal, they should be fine. There would be alot of speeches and announcements, he knew, meaning that for a large portion of the night, the women would be listening to whatever was going on onstage, leaving him in the clear.

Casey and Vanessa both pulled back their chairs, and Derek rolled his eyes when he found that he was going to be right in the middle of the two of them. Sure, it was probably best if they didn't sit next to each other, but now they'd both be fighting for his attention, and he would be the one trying to maintain equal attention among the both of them.

He took his seat between them, and watched as Casey settled Justin down into the seat next to her, two seats down from Derek. As she did this, he caught sight of the disapproving stare that Vanessa was fixing the boy with, and he bit his lip, frowning as she raised her gaze to meet his, obviously offended that he hadn't told her about this sooner.

He knew then that he was in for an extremely long night.

- - - -

It had been remotely easy to keep them occupied for the first hour of the dinner party. Three executives, and two singers had gone up onstage, and made short speeches, welcoming them all to the event. Derek would be required to make his speech later, and he found himself relieved that he had not been stuck in a welcoming speech, again. He had gotten them twice in a row now, and they were alway the same. Five people were selected for these speeches, and he would watch as they went up- one after another- and made what always seemed like the exact same speech. There was only so much that you could say in the span of your ten minute time frame, to welcome everyone to the event.

This time, however, he had been asked to go up and make a speech about their upcoming releases and events, this summer. They made this speech at every seasonal dinner party, announcing what was upcoming in the season to follow. This was a relatively easy speech to make, since it only required a brief summary on what albums they were planning on releasing, what tours would be starting up, what publicity events they planned on attending, that sort of thing. Of course, it meant that he had to put actual effort into it- since this was not one of those repeated speeches that everyone tuned out by the third speaker, but still, he enjoyed it. It also meant that he didn't have to go up until after everyone had finished eating. He liked that; it gave him a chance to enjoy himself, before having to go up and do something business-related.

"So Casey," Vanessa started, and both Casey and Derek looked up immediately, curious as to what she had to say. Vanessa smiled at her slightly, taking a tiny bite of her food. After she swallowed it, she returned their glances with a forcibly pleasant one, and continued with her question.

"What do you do with Justin during the day?" she asked, shaking her head. "I mean, obviously he can't go to school or anything, right?"

Derek didn't know why she would even say that; she had known that Derek had babysat Justin on his day off of school a few days back, and besides, it was sort of rude to make those assumptions, without any real proof. She had been fixing Justin with disapproving and hesitant stares the whole night, whenever he did anything that was off, from a regular kid. He had made a bit of a scene when his food hadn't been served on the right colour plate, but Casey had managed to calm him down before he got too out of hand. There were so many people there that it was almost impossible to notice one child crying. Other parents were dealing with crying babies, so only the people around their table had really noticed that it was a six year old boy making a huge fuss over his plate.

Casey, in response to Vanessa's question, gave a cold smile, her eyes void of all emotion as she stabbed at a peace of chicken on her plate with her fork.

"He can go to school, actually," she said, her voice righteous, all of a sudden. "He only spends two hours a day in a regular classroom, but he's enrolled in a regular school. He's actually a pretty smart kid. I don't know why so many people seem to think kids like him are complete idiots."

She leaned back in her chair slightly, shrugging as she gave a false smile, as though her words were by no means directed towards Vanessa.

"Lack of knowledge on the subject, I suppose."

Derek frowned as he looked down at his plate, coughing slightly. This was most definitely one of the most awkward things he had ever sat through, and he found himself wondering why he had subjected himself to this sort of abuse. He should've just been happy with inviting Vanessa, but he knew that this wasn't the answer. He should be able to sit down with the both of them, and have a pleasant meal, right?

He sighed, shaking his head. Who was he kidding?

"So does Justin's father pay child support, or..."

Derek's eyes widened, and he turned to Vanessa, a disgusted look on his face.

"_Vanessa!_" he exclaimed, his voice a low hiss as he glared at her, shaking his head. For starters, why the hell would she bring up that question, knowing full well that- to her knowledge- Casey didn't know who the father was. He had told her that enough for her to realize that nobody was paying child support, on the boy. And even if she hadn't been aware of this, it was a rude question altogether. Casey's financial situation had nothing to do with Vanessa, and it was none of her business to get involved in it.

"What?" she asked, turning to Derek with a bittersweet smile. "I'm only asking her a simple question- making friendly conversation, you know?"

"Friendly my ass," he muttered, as Casey shot Derek an angry look, obviously still put out by the fact that he had lied about his relationship with Justin. He was blushing a deep shade of scarlet as he shoved a forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth, trying his best to avoid looking either of them in the eye. Casey obviously got fed up with his refusal to look at her, because he heard her sigh, and carry on as though his ignorance wasn't affecting her in the slightest, and that Vanessa's question hadn't been at all rude.

"No, he doesn't," she said, shaking her head as Derek chewed slowly on his food, listening hard. "I didn't bother contacting him. He was someone that I thought I loved, at the time."

Derek didn't know which realization hit him more strongly, at that moment. Firstly, it occured to him that the story he had been telling Vanessa all along no longer applied; he had told her that Casey didn't know who the father was, and here Casey was, denying that story straight to her face. He could see Vanessa giving him a dirty look out of the corner of his eye, but he chose not to look up at her as he thought even harder on his second realization.

Casey had said that the father of her child was someone who she _thought_ she had loved, at the time. Thought. Did that mean that she had never really loved him, and that he had been the only one who had viewed their relationship so strongly, even back then? He knew that their love hadn't lasted, but he could admit that it had been real, for him. He had always assumed that she had felt the same way about this, but could he have been wrong? Maybe she had never really loved him, all along.

Before either woman could say anything, his name was called, and he frowned, looking down at his plate. He wasn't done eating in the slightest, but as he took a look around himself, he saw that almost everyone else was. It was obvious that his concentration on making sure the two women didn't kill each other had affected the pace at which he had been eating, because he still had well over half a plateful of food left.

But business was business, and he had to do his speech when they wanted him to, for the rest of the schedule to go smoothly, so he swallowed back whatever food he had in his mouth, cringing as the unchewed meat scratched at his throat. He took a large gulp of water, placing the glass back down with shaky hands, and he pushed back his chair, sighing.

"I'll be back soon," he said, hoping with all his might that they wouldn't kill each other, while he was gone.

Neither woman said anything to him, and he knew by their folded arms and icy stares that they were both angry with him, right now. He winced, wondering who he should be more afraid of, and he had to admit that he was happy for the escape, as he forced himself up onto the stage, stopping in front of the podium. He pulled his speech out of his pocket, unfolding it as he placed it down on the surface, just in case he needed it. It was usually only there for reference, because he usually knew all of this well enough to recite it by memory. It looked more professional when he wasn't always squinting to see what came next in his speech. But sometimes, the dates of releases and tours got mixed up in his head, and it was always good to have something to refer to.

He cleared his throat, squinting at the lights that hit his eyes, momentarily blinding him. He pretended as though it didn't phase him as he straightened up, placing both of his slightly shaky hands against the podium.

"I'm Derek Venturi, and as most of you know, I'm head of recruitment and publication at Sony BMG, and I also overlook the promotional department," he said, taking in a deep breath. "Now, as you all know, we start every season with one of these dinners, and it's always interesting to hear what we've got coming up in the upcoming months. Summer is one of our best times for business, and I assure you that this year is going to be filled with alot of good, for the company."

He paused as he heard a female voice in front of the stage say something urgently, as though something bad had just happened. He had no idea who had said it, and he wasn't even sure if it wasn't just his mind playing tricks on him, because all he heard now was complete silence. Everyone always had the decency to be quiet throughout these speeches, and he supposed that this was just his ears deceiving him.

He cleared his throat, shaking himself out of his trance.

"We've got alot of CD releases coming up, especially in June, so I guess I should start off with those," he started, but was cut off when he heard a thump in front of him, and he leaned around the podium to see that Justin had climbed the stairs onto the stage, and had obviously stumbled, falling down on the last one. He appeared to be okay, but he was crouched down on his knees, looking up at the bright lights above him with interest. He had no idea that he was on a stage in front of hundreds of people, who were now whispering and speculating as to who the little boy was.

Derek looked down, and he could make out the vague figure of Casey, standing up, and unable to move herself up onto that stage to get her son. She shot him an apologetic look, slouching back down into her seat as she buried her head in her hands, obviously ashamed of herself for not keeping better tabs on the boy.

Derek could hear the whispered conversation and debate throughout the room, as they all stopped to question who the little boy onstage was. He knew that they were all dying to know, and as he looked down at Casey, sitting with her hands covering her face, as though she was wishing she had never come here, he knew what it was time to do. She probably felt like all the blame was on her, and he had a feeling that, if he didn't act, she'd be the one accused of not keeping her kid under control, at such a public event like this.

And without another word, he sighed, letting go of the podium in front of him as he walked around the stand, and crouched down in front of his son, touching his arm gently. Justin wasn't looking at him, and he gave a half smile as he tilted his head, trying to make eye contact.

"Hey buddy," he whispered, so that no one else could hear. "Can you take my hand?"

He held his hand out, and with his other one, he guided Justin's hand over until it was lying in Derek's. He closed his own hand over Justin's, and gave it a very gentle squeeze, to get his attention. Justin's gaze finally reached his father's, and he bit his lower lip, squeezing his father's hand back very slightly.

Derek grinned, and helped Justin to his feet, leading him over next to the podium with him. He didn't stand behind it, to finish his speech. He merely faced the audience, and grabbed the microphone from it's stand at the podium, holding it up in front of him as he took in a deep breath.

"Alright, calm down," he said, as the room buzzed with conversation. "We all know how kids can be... I'm sure we've all been there, right?"

There was a gentle murmer of agreement through the room as everyone watched Derek, waiting for the man to give some sort of an explanation.

"I guess you're all wondering who this is though, and maybe it's time I was honest with everyone."

His eyes flickered down to his table, and he saw Vanessa giving him a scared and uncertain look, while Casey tensed, watching him as though she couldn't believe what he was about to do.

He sighed, wondering if he was ready for this. Did he really want to subject himself, and Casey, to anymore publicity than he was already facing, because of this incident? He knew that the headlines would be milking this tiny interruption for all that it was worth, for days now. He knew the rumors that would be flying around, if he didn't set himself straight right here, and right now. Was this really worth it?

But one look at the boy holding onto his hand told him everything he needed to know, and he sighed, squeezing Justin's hand lightly. He had already let Casey and Justin down enough, and he wasn't about to do that anymore. It was about time he owned his responsibilty, and made things right. He was going to walk away from here tonight without the weight of the world on his shoulders, that was something that he could say with complete confidence.

"I'd like to introduce everyone to this little guy right here," he said, his breathing slightly shaky as he recognized that the room was completely silent, and nobody was whispering a word, anymore. They were all focused completely on the man on the stage, and he knew that he had everybody's undivided attention. Even the babies that had been acting up so much before had fallen silent, sensing the room's necessity for silence.

"His name is Justin, and he's six years old," he said, feeling his heart beating madly against his chest. "And he also happens to be autistic."

His eyes met with Casey's once more, and although he could barely see her, he knew that she knew exactly what he was about to do. He just hoped that it was what she wanted him to do, and that he might earn some extra points with her for finally being honest.

He took a deep breath, tearing his gaze away from Casey, and staring straight out towards the centre of the room, at nobody in particular.

"I guess it would just be easier if I said this upfront," he said, shrugging. "Like I said, his name is Justin. And he's my son."

* * *

**Cliffhanger, huh? Want to know what happens next? Review, my friends!**


	13. Hurtful Words

**Okay, so I'm sorry this is late, but I'm sure some of you noticed that fanfiction was messed up last night, and literally five minutes after I finished the chapter, it wouldn't let me post. But anyways, better late than never, right?**

**I'd also like to note that this is the longest chapter that I have EVER written... not just in this story, but in any of my fanfictions... not sure why, but anyways, I hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Thirteen: Hurtful Words**

Derek awoke the next morning to the sound of his phone ringing for what must have been the eighteenth time that morning, and he wasn't exaggerating. His cellphone had been ringing since he walked out on the dinner the night before, to the extent that he had shut it off. He had hoped that everyone would give up, and stop calling him altogether, but he hadn't been surprised when they had resorted to calling his house phone, to try and get the story out of him. Since Derek and Casey were the only ones that could tell anyone anything, he suspected that nothing would leak if he didn't allow it to. Sure, there would be rumours, but he knew better than to let those bother him. He just hoped that Casey could handle them, since she wasn't used to that sort of thing.

Involuntarily, his mind flashed back to what had happened the night before, after he had dropped his little bombshell, and stormed out of the conference center with his hands leading both Casey and Justin away from the madness. He had made a quick detour around the back of the building, to try and get to the parking lot where he had parked his vehicle, but Casey had stopped him before they could get there, pressing him up against the lower marble layer of the building.

_- - _

_"Casey, what is it?" he asked her, as she kept one hand against his shoulder to keep him from moving away. "Stop it, we've got to get going. I know the media, and I can tell you right now that they'll be alerted within the hour. It's best if I get you guys home, and then get back to my apartment before they get here."_

_"That's just it!" she said, her voice shaky as she looked at him with panicked eyes. Justin sat himself down against the ground, looking bored as he ran his finger over the smooth marble surface of the building with interest. Derek only spared him a quick glance, before looking back to his panicked friend._

_"You may be used to being swarmed by the media, but me and Justin aren't," she told him, shaking her head. "He's never been exposed to anything like that in his entire life, and neither have I. It's hard enough keeping Justin under tabs, but now I've got to fight off media attention too? And don't say that they won't follow us around, because you know full well that they will. Once they find out that the famous executive of Sony, Derek Venturi, has a hidden son- and a son with autism, no less- they'll be eager to find out exactly how this happened. And it doesn't help that you're engaged to a superstar. I'm sure they'll want to know all about her soon-to-be stepson."_

_Derek felt a chill go up his spine at the mention of a step-family relation, regarding Justin and Vanessa. He had never thought of it in that context, but he supposed that when Vanessa became his wife, it was only logical that she would also become Justin's stepmother, in turn. It seemed weird to think that the relationship he shared with Nora would be the same one that Justin was supposed to share with Vanessa. He said supposed, because he had a feeling that Vanessa wasn't going to be showing Justin all that much motherly affection. He knew that Casey wasn't going to be all that supportive of anyone else trying to take over her role as a mother anyway, and he could see those thoughts reflected in the shadows of her eyes. _

_"I know they're going to be hounding you, Casey," he said, nodding his head as he gripped her lower arm gently. "Believe me, nobody knows that better than me; I've been fighting off the media for years now. I deal with the publicity of myself and others day in and day out. I know how these things go. But I can tell you now, it won't be too bad. I'd never let anyone hurt you or Justin, and I can promise you that I'm going to make this as easy as possible for you. Nobody's going to get anywhere near you guys, and if they do, don't say anything. Tell them you don't want to comment on it, because anything you say, I can promise you they'll twist it around until it seems like some crazy, screwed up Brittany Spears drama." _

_A tiny smile graced Casey's lips, despite herself, and Derek felt a bit of relief flicker through him as he recognized that she didn't completely hate him for what he had done; she was smiling, after all. _

_"I just wanted the world to finally know that I've got a son," he said, shrugging his shoulders as his voice dropped to a quieter level. "I didn't want to hide it, and I didn't think you'd want me to either." _

_She raised her gaze to meet his, and she finally nodded as she forced out a smile, trying her best to be friendly with him. _

_"I know, Derek," she said, sighing contently. "I know you were trying to do the right thing, and everything. It's just alot to take in, you know? But I'm proud of you for admitting to everyone who Justin really is. I mean... I'll admit it- when you first came into his life, I really had my doubts that you'd stick around. I thought you'd get fed up with him and walk out, you know?" _

_She paused, her eyes locking with his for a moment as she bit her lip, shaking her head as though she had just realized something._

_"And I have to admit it, I'm really glad you stuck around," she said, sounding embarassed as she shrugged her shoulders casually. "You've bonded with him really quickly, and... you may not get to see the smile on his face when I tell him his Daddy is coming to see him, but I do. The kid loves you, Derek. I don't know how you did it so quick, but you did."  
_

_He gave a little half-smile, his eyes flickering down to where his son was sat, still admiring the marble wall beside him. Derek nodded, turning back to Casey without a word. He couldn't really think of anything else to say to her, but he knew that no words were really needed, at this point. _

_He watched as curiousity flickered through her eyes, and she frowned, giving him a slightly worried look. _

_"What about Vanessa?" she asked, frowning suddenly. "Isn't she going to be mad at you, now? I mean, I can tell she had absolutely no idea that you had a son, let alone with me. I have a feeling that she's going to be pretty upset with you, once she gets to talk to you." _

_Derek shrugged, and he felt slight guilt ripple through him as he realized that he hadn't even considered Vanessa, in the past five minutes. He hadn't even thought about the fact that he had left her at that table alone. He had been so intent on getting Casey and Justin out of there without question, that he hadn't bothered to think about his fiancee. That was actually horrible, he knew, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Vanessa was used to media attention, Casey wasn't. She had Brian and the rest of her people there at that dinner; nobody was going to be able to get too close to her. Casey only had Derek to rely on, and he definitely wasn't going to let her down, especially since it was his own fault that they were suddenly the center of attention._

_"Vanessa may be mad, but she'll get over it," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I have a son, and I can't hide that from her forever. The longer I kept it a secret, the worse it was bound to get. She'll probably be moody for a couple of days, but once she realizes that she can't do anything about it, she'll just give up. I know her, trust me. I'm not worried about her staying angry at me." _

_Casey frowned at him for a moment, before something like realization flickered through her eyes, and she shook her head as though she was suddenly wondering something. _

_"You love Vanessa, don't you?" she asked, sounding uncertain. "I mean like... really, really love her?" _

_Derek hated that he hesitated, but he convinced himself that the only reason was because he wasn't sure how to respond to that question, without sounding too obvious. He bit his lip gently, before locking his eyes with hers, and nodding his head. He felt a weird feeling flicker through him as he confirmed this, his eyes never leaving Casey's. _

_"Yeah, I love her," he said, trying to pretend like he didn't see the brief look of disappointment in Casey's eyes. "I mean... it's in a... I..." _

_Casey was giving him a weird look now, and honestly, he felt like a fool. He couldn't even form his words properly today; what was wrong with him? He took in a deep breath, and prepared himself to try again._

_"I love her, but it's in a really different way than I loved you." _

- - - -

Derek frowned, shaking his head as he remembered what he had said to Casey. Why had he had such a hard time saying that? He hated that he was questioning his love for Vanessa, just because Casey was back in the picture. He had hoped that these thoughts were only temporary- something that was just crossing his mind because Casey was around, and this was all new to him. But she had been around for a few weeks now, and he knew that he should've had his mixed up feelings sorted out long before; it shouldn't take him this long to sort all of this out. He shouldn't ever have to question whether or not he loved Vanessa more than he had loved Casey.

But he was, and that scared him. He wasn't questioning that he felt anything for Vanessa, because he obviously did. He wouldn't have ever gotten with her if he didn't feel anything at all for her. But now he was wondering if maybe he had rushed things too much with her. After all, he had known all along that proposing hadn't been a voluntary thing; it had been a result of her parents constant hinting and prodding on the matter. If it hadn't been for them, Vanessa wouldn't have that ring on her finger right now, and he had a feeling that Vanessa sort of knew that. He had never really wanted to propose, but at the time, it had seemed fitting, and appropriate. Her parents had practically forced him into it, and he hadn't seen much of a problem with it, before Casey was involved. But now she was, and he had a son to take care of as well. And planning a wedding on top of this was proving to be really tough, not to mention stressful.

He knew that he needed to stop thinking, and just focus on what he should be concentrating on, these days. He needed to focus on building his bond with his son, helping Casey get onto solid grounds, financially, and hopefully keep a good friendship with her, while he was at it. And then he would marry Vanessa, and everything would be back to normal, right?

Yeah, he was way too hopeful sometimes.

He sighed, leaning over the side of the couch carelessly to try and reach his answering machine. He had fallen asleep on the couch when he arrived at home the night before, because he had really been too tired to bother getting changed, and making his way into his bedroom. The couch was actually pretty comfy, and the old blanket that he kept on the back of the couch was usually warm enough for him.

He pressed the button on top of the answering machine, and typed in his passcode so that he could listen to the messages that had been left for him, since the night before. He pressed the button, and leaned back comfortably as he prepared to listen to what he was sure would be a repetitive ordeal.

The first voice that came over the speaker was Vanessa's, not like that was a big surprise.

"Derek, I know you're there, and I know you're just avoiding my calls, but you can't avoid this forever. You can't even begin to imagine how furious I am with you right now. Not only did you lie to me about who Justin's father was, but you hid the fact that you had a son, and then you left me at that dinner all by myself. I mean, do you know how many questions people asked me last night? I-"

She must have ran out of time on her message, because before he knew it, her words were cut off, and there was a beep that signalled that the next message was beginning. He chuckled, considering he knew how much Vanessa hated being cut off by any human or machine, and he was still grinning as he went onto the next message, listening intently. He wanted to burst out laughing when he heard Vanessa again, sounding completely annoyed by the fact that she had been cut off.

"Stupid machine," she was saying, and Derek shook his head, still grinning. "Anyway, you had better call me back the _instant_ you get this message, Derek; or I will be... be... I don't even think I can get angrier than this, but I'm sure it's possible. Let's not test it; you'd better call me soon."

The beep sounded again, and Derek sighed as it went onto the next message.

"Derek, it's Casey," he heard, and the grin on his face instantly faded as he sat up a bit straighter, listening intently to her voice. It sounded panicked and scared, and slightly overwhelmed. He didn't like the sound of her voice, when she was scared like that.

"You're going to have to do something about the media, because they won't leave us alone. They must have found out where we live, because they've been swarming the building all day, trying to catch a glimpse of Derek Venturi's long lost son. Our landlord chased a camera-man down with a broom earlier... and... this is way too much stress, Derek, we-"

He didn't even listen to the rest of the message. He turned the machine off, and grabbed the cordless phone off of it's hook, dialing her number frantically. He waited impatiently as the phone rang once... twice... three times. His foot was tapping restlessly against the laminate floorboards as he waited for her to answer.

"Come on," he muttered under his breath. "You'd chat the ear off me any other day. Just answer your stupid... Casey!"

She had picked up the phone, her voice annoyed and frustrated, and he felt relief flicker through him as he sighed, leaning back against the couch as he ran his hand through his hair carelessly.

"What's going on?" Derek asked her, his voice nervous. "Are the media still bugging you?"

"Yeah, they are," she said, sounding slightly angry. "This is too much, Derek. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it, but even I didn't think it would be this bad. They've been calling me, and there's camera trucks down in the parking lot, and they've knocked on my door a few times, and..."

"Relax," he said, shaking his head as he blew out a patient breath. "Don't open the door to any of them. I'll be over soon."

"You'll... wait, what?" she asked him, obviously confused beyond belief. But it was too late, because Derek had already hung up the phone.

He raced into his bedroom, and although he was sure that there would be some extent of media outside of his own apartment, he didn't care. He pulled down the closest pair of jeans, and a long sleeve grey shirt, and he shrugged into it as quickly as he possibly could. He nearly fell over trying to get his jeans on, but he regained his balance, and tossed his clothes from the day before into the hamper on the other side of the room. He grabbed his black jacket off of the foot of his bed, and shrugged into it as he pocketed his cellphone, which he took a moment to turn back on, and his wallet.

Without another word, he grabbed his car keys off of the dresser, and was gone.

- - - - -

Derek pulled up in front of Casey's apartment building a mere fifteen minutes later, examining the scene before him with raised eyebrows. There had been little media to escape at his own apartment, and he had dodged the lot of them by going out through the back door. He had laughed as he drove off, watching the media waiting patiently for him to come outside. Little did they know that their celebrity was halfway across town by now, surrounded by a different crowd of media.

There were news trucks everywhere, and journalists swarming the place, asking questions to passerbyers, no doubt trying to figure out if anyone knew anything about the mystery woman that was suddenly involved in Derek Venturi's public life. He knew that he wasn't going to make it past this crew unnoticed, but he tried his hardest as he pulled into a parking spot, and crept out of his car without any trouble.

It was when he neared the front door that they finally spotted him. A man with a tape recorder, who looked to be no more than twenty, spotted him first, and his eyes went wide as he saw who he had discovered. His curly black hair fell in front of his excited eyes as he practically fell forwards to greet Derek, fumbling for the record button on his machine.

"Mr. Venturi," he said, obviously excited that he had been the first one to see their target. Derek had a feeling that this guy was new to the job, because he seemed nervous and uncertain, shaky and awkward. But at his mention of Derek's name, it seemed that every other reporter there had suddenly tuned in, and they were all rushing towards him with microphones and tape recorders extended in his direction.

"What is your relation to Ms. McDonald?"

"What does your fiancee think of all this?"

"Why haven't you revealed your son to the public before now?"

"Are you still with Vanessa Williams?"

Derek turned as he reached the front door, shaking his head as he held up his free hand to hold them all back. His other hand pulled the door open behind him, and it was obvious by his tone of voice that he meant business. He tried his best to fix his eyes on every single one of them, at once.

"I have no comment on any of your questions, and I suggest you all pack up and leave, because my family life has nothing to do with any of you."

He would say no more, and despite the protests he heard from the reporters, and the flashes of cameras he could see flashing somewhere within the crowds, he turned, and stormed through the door, walking as fast as he could down the hall towards the stairs. He really didn't feel like taking the elevator, since that would require hanging around waiting for one. He really didn't have that sort of time, right about now.

When he reached Casey's floor, he noticed that there was a man leaning against the wall at the end of the hallway, a tape recorder dangling from his hand as he read through something on the screen of his handheld. Derek stopped a few feet away from him, his eyes narrowed, and the man looked up at the sound of footsteps, his eyes widening slightly when he saw who was standing in front of him. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when Derek shook his head, his tone angry.

"Not a word," he said threateningly. "Turn off the tape recorder, and get out of this hallway before I do it all for you. Like I just told the rest of your little buddies downstairs, I have no comment on any of your questions, and you won't be getting anything out of me about the kid, or his mother."

Without another word, Derek turned, and before he could even put his hand on the door, it had swung open, and Casey reached out to haul him inside. He found himself pressed against the wall as she slammed the door behind him, her eyes flashing with anger. He bit his lip, waiting for her to do something- anything. He half expected her to slap him, and yell at him for causing such trouble, and in a way, he wished she would just get angry, so that it would be done and over with. Anything would be better than this silence, right about now.

Derek bit his lip as she kept both of her hands against his arms, gripping them lightly as she looked him right in the eye. He tried his best to remain neutral as he gave her a little half grin, his eyes hopeful.

"Hey," he said, trying to act as though nothing had happened. "How's everything in your corner of the world?"

"Derek," she said, her voice forced and angry as she obviously struggled not to hit him. "I could kill you right now. I could absolutely... I just... _ugh_!"

Derek watched as she let go of him, and turned away, making her way back into the living room. She ran a hand through her hair with frustration, pacing back and forth around her living room. Derek pushed himself away from the wall cautiously, putting his hands back in his pockets as he took a few steps into the living room, careful to put some distance between them. He had never trusted an angry Casey. Girls were definitely not a force to be reckoned with, even on a good day.

"What did I do?" he asked her, knowing full well why she was angry. She turned, her eyes angry, and he sighed, continuing with his explanation. "I mean... yeah, I know I landed you with all of this unwanted media attention, but Case... try to understand. I can't hide Justin from the world forever. He's my son, and if I didn't tell everyone myself, someone would spot me with him eventually, and then there'd be rumours flying around everywhere. Next thing you know, there'd be some story in the paper about me kidnapping a kid, or something."

Casey raised an eyebrow doubtfully, and Derek shook his head, pointing a finger at her warningly with a completely serious look on his face.

"Don't doubt that, 'cause it's happened to people I've worked with before," he said, and as she shook her head in amazement, he sighed, pulling his hands out of his pockets again as he took a couple of steps towards her, reaching out to touch her wrist gently. His hand found hers, and he swallowed nervously when he slipped his fingers through hers, and she didn't pull away. Deciding that it would be best to take his chances, and keep going, he prepared to explain himself.

"Listen, the point is that I thought you were already mad at me for keeping him a secret," he said, shaking his head at her. "The last thing I wanted was for there to be any conflict between us, because... I dunno, I've missed you, Casey. We didn't talk for seven years, and I don't want to let anything happen that could cause something like that again. This whole... being friends thing... it's new to the both of us, and I don't want to be fighting, or anything. I did this for you, and for Justin, and even if you don't believe that... just trust me when I say that it's true. And don't even worry about the media, because once they find something else to move onto, they'll forget all about this, and about us. This sort of thing is my life, Casey; I deal with publicity day in and day out, and I never look at the same story for more than a couple of weeks... unless I'm dealing with Brittany Spears, or something, but that girls hard to keep control of."

Despite her anger, Casey laughed at that one, and Derek grinned at her, knowing that she was softening a little bit. He pulled her a bit closer, tilting his head as he nodded at her.

"See, you don't have to be mad at me," he said hopefully, praying that he had changed her mind a little bit. "You can't stay mad at this sexy face anyways, and we both know that."

Casey grinned, and rolled her eyes as Derek's entire body relaxed with relief, and he dropped her hand, pulling her to him in a quick hug, nothing too big. He only let it last a moment, before pulling back, and taking a step away from her. He always found it to be necessary to put some distance between them, after they shared any type of a moment together; it was always really awkward, when they hugged, or said something cute to one another. He wished that he could say everything was back to normal between them, but he knew that things may always be a little bit awkward, considering the fact that they'd shared a three year relationship with one another, one that had ended badly.

"I guess I'm not mad at you," she admitted, shrugging as she folded her arms across her chest. "I just needed to get mad at someone, because this has been frustrating me all day. I feel unsecure, or something... I don't know. I mean, you deal with this all the time, so you probably think I'm being stupid right now, but I can't help it. It's different when you've got a six year old kid who's been wanting to go to the park all morning, and I'm too nervous to even leave the house."

Derek thought for a moment, frowning as he crossed the room to the window, and looked down to see that the media hadn't abandoned their hopes of finding a story, here. They were still swarming the parking lot, as though they owned the place. Derek knew that they weren't going to leave anytime soon, and he also knew that Casey was slightly nervous about having all of this attention focused on her. He knew that she was probably worried about getting in trouble with her landlord for all of this, even if it wasn't really her fault, and losing the apartment that she could barely afford as it was.

Sighing, he pushed himself away from the window, and nodded towards her bedroom, reaching his decision at last.

"Go get some of your things," he said, placing his hands in his pockets again. "You guys are coming back to my place for awhile."

Casey frowned, taking a step towards him as she gave him a curious look, obviously confused.

"For awhile?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that, Derek?"

He sighed, shaking his head as he shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what he was really talking about, at this point.

"However long it takes for this to die down," he guessed, shrugging. "Tonight, a few days, a week... I don't care. I don't want you guys dealing with this on your own. There's people who would do anything to earn some cash off of a scoop, and you're nowhere near prepared for that. My entire apartment building is under twenty four hour surveillance, and they pay a bit of extra attention to my hallway. Being the fiance of a celebrity, and being really well-known myself usually means that someone's going to try and get through to me, at some point or another. They've caught more than one reporter trying to get up to talk to me, during the past few years."

Casey still looked uncertain, but when Justin wandered into the room, looking confused for a moment, she immediately went into protection mode, and nodded her head. Derek knew that she would never do anything that would put her son in any sort of danger, and he knew that she didn't want him around the media. Derek knew that she wanted her son to be as protected as he possibly could be, and because of that, he knew that there was no question of whether or not they would be coming.

He saw it in her eyes, and he knew as she turned to him, nodding her head, that she was doing this for Justin.

- - - -

Getting out of Casey's apartment building had been brutal. They had taken the elevator this time, and when they had reached the bottom floor, with suitcases in hand, there had already been a reporter there, wanting to know all about this hidden son, and what Vanessa seemed to think of the situation. Derek knew that this situation must be confusing to everyone, since there was a six year old boy popping out of nowhere all of a sudden, but it wasn't his job to explain his life to the public. He didn't owe them anything like that, and he wasn't going to subject Casey or Justin to that sort of attention. They didn't deserve that.

He had made it across the parking lot with Justin in his arms, since he knew how easily the kid got distracted, and they needed to get back to his car as quickly as possible. He had insisted Casey stay close to him, and he had opened the window of his car as they swarmed his car, claiming that he would back up in five seconds whether they were there or not. This had cleared them off slightly, and by the time they had crowded the vehicle again, he had sped off towards the road.

Getting into his apartment building was alot easier, because he used the back entrance once again, and had managed to get up to his apartment unnoticed.

Casey had never been in Derek's apartment before, and of course that meant that Justin hadn't been there either. He knew that it would be a luxury for them, coming from a small two bedroom apartment in a low-income area, to be staying in a four bedroom apartment, in one of the most expensive and fancy areas in Toronto. The apartment was almost too big for one person to be staying in, but it didn't really matter, since he wasn't there much anyways. He was always working now, or spending time with Justin, or planning his wedding, or avoiding the media. His life was too hectic to worry about living arrangements.

Casey walked into the apartment behind him, glancing up at the white stone ceiling with amazement and surprise in her eyes, as she clutched her bag tightly in one hand, looking nervous. He watched as her eyes travelled around the huge space before her, right out to the glass wall that overlooked downtown Toronto. He had the blinds pulled open today, to let some sun in, but he knew that he'd have to shut them soon, for some privacy. He didn't trust those damn reporters in the slightest.

"Wow," she breathed out, as Justin came to a stop right next to her, toying with the metal clasp of the zipper on his red jacket. "This place is amazing, Derek. It must cost you a fortune."

Derek took the bag from her hand, laying it up on the bench that was by his front door. He shook his head as he bent down, unzipping Justin's jacket, and helping his son untangle his arms from it, as the boy looked around the huge apartment with awestruck eyes. Derek almost chuckled at this; the kid was so easily amused, sometimes. Exploring this place would keep him occupied for the rest of the afternoon, and maybe even a part of the evening; he was sure of it.

"It's not that expensive," he admitted, as he straightened up, and reached into the closet for a coat hanger. He slipped Justin's red jacket onto the hanger, and reached for Casey's jacket, offering to hang it up for her. She awkwardly slid out of it, and handed it to him to hang up.

When all three of their coats had been hung up, he led them into the apartment, wondering where to begin. He supposed he could show them around, but the place was pretty easy to follow. There were two bathrooms, and four bedrooms. There was a small office for Derek's work, and then there was the regulars rooms, like the living room and the kitchen. He had a small room where he did his laundry, and that room also proved to be a good storage closet. But other than that, the apartment was pretty basic.

"Make yourselves at home," he said, shrugging as he ruffled his hair casually, unsure of what to do with himself. "The place is pretty basic. If you want to use one of the spare rooms to set up Justin's stuff, there's three of them free. You can use one, and Justin can pick out one too. There's one that's got blue walls, and I know he loves blue. You brought his comforter, right?"

Casey nodded, motioning to the larger bag on the floor, where Justin's pillow and blanket were stored, along with some of his other belongings. Any other child might not need this many personal belongings brought with him for a few short days, but they both knew how Justin would react if he didn't have _his_ blanket and pillow,_ his_ bowls, _his_ teddy bear. He hated any change in routine or surroundings, and they both knew that staying in a whole new apartment was going to be hard enough on him. The least they could do was make it as comfortable as they possibly could, by surrounding him with his own belongings from home.

"Justin, do you want to come put your things in a room?" Casey asked, and when she looked down, she noticed that her son had disappeared. She glanced around, before noticing that he had ran across the room, and was now standing with his hands pressed against the glass wall, looking down at the city below. He looked like he was really paying attention to the ground below him, and Casey shrugged, laying his things down on the floor again.

"I guess that can wait until later," she said, and when she moved to step forward, she tripped up in the strap of the bag. Derek saw her body tilt forwards, but he acted instinctively, reaching out, and wrapping one arm around her waist to catch her. When they fell still again, she looked up at him, and he realized how close in proximity their faces were. She had come to a stop a mere two or three inches from his face, and he could see every fleck in her eye, right about now. Her breath hit his face gently, and he felt his heart beating madly in his chest as he tried not to blink, not to break this intense eye contact that they had happening between them. He could feel her chest rising and falling with each heavy breath she took, and he found himself wondering why he couldn't pull away. This was Casey. He had no reason to be maintaining such a position with her.

But as much as he wanted to pull away, it didn't surprise him when Casey was the one who finally pulled back, straightening up as she cleared her throat. Her cheeks were a deep shade of red as she smoothed out the wrinkles on her shirt, and pushed her hair away from her eyes. Derek straightened up awkwardly, feeling sort of woozy, all of a sudden.

"Right... just, uh... watch yourself, okay?" he muttered quickly, his voice slightly shaky. "Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, or anything."

She nodded quickly, not looking at him as she replied to his question.

"Yeah, thanks."

Derek would've said something else eventually, but before he could even attempt to think of anything to say, his cellphone was ringing in his jeans pocket. He rolled his eyes as he reached for it, and flipped it open, reading that it was Vanessa calling. He really didn't want to deal with her right now, so he sighed, and pressed ignore. He knew that she was going to kill him for all of this, but he really didn't want to deal with Vanessa's anger right now, especially with Casey right in front of him.

Casey frowned when she saw that Derek had hung up, and she crossed the room to sit on the couch, tucking one leg underneath the other. Derek joined her, leaning one arm up against the back of the couch as she nodded towards his cellphone, speaking up.

"Who was that?" she asked, sounding curious. "Annoying media?"

Derek laughed, tossing his cellphone onto the coffee table carelessly as he turned to her, shaking his head.

"More like annoying fiancee," he said, and Casey couldn't help but smile a little as he went on. "She's been calling me all morning, and I know she's just going to yell at me when she finally gets ahold of me. Trust me, she's like the devil when she's mad at me. Usually I just ignore her until she calms down a little bit, but I don't think it's going to work this time. This might be something that takes her a bit longer to get over."

The grin on Casey's face faded away, and she shook her head, frowning slightly.

"I'm sorry for causing all of this drama between you and Vanessa," she said, sounding genuinely apologetic. "This was why I kept this from you for such a long time. I mean, not because of Vanessa, because she didn't come into the picture until recently, but even over the years, I didn't want you to find out, because I figured that something like this would happen."

"What, the media chasing you down?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head to indicate that he was wrong.

"No, not that- although I guess that sort of factored into it somewhere as well," she said, and he listened intently as she went on. "I just didn't want to tell you, and ruin all the success in your life, you know? I mean, as much as I realized that Justin was your son just as much as he was mine... I didn't want to ruin everyting for you."

He frowned, and her eyes met with his as she shrugged, her cheeks turning slightly red.

"I cared about you too much," she admitted, and he found his heart beating wildly in his chest as he swallowed hard, nodding slightly. The words poured out of his mouth before he even knew what he was saying.

"I sort of wish you had told me that... before I started dating Vanessa."

He frowned as he realized what he had just said, and the shock was evident in Casey's eyes as she gave him a surprised look, looking completely taken aback by what he had just said to her. He wasn't even sure of what had made him say that, because he hadn't realized he felt that way at all. It must have been hidden subconciously, or something, because the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it was true. A part of him did sort of wish that he had found Casey and Justin before he had gotten together with Vanessa. His life would be so different, if that had really happened, but for some reason, he couldn't see it as being a bad life to lead. He saw himself with Casey, which had always proved to be a great feeling before, and he saw himself being an even better father to his son. He wished so badly that he had been there for the first six years of Justin's life. He had seen the pictures that Casey kept in the many photo albums around her apartment, and he found himself wishing that he had been there when the kid had been growing up, all these years.

But Casey had no idea what his words had just meant, and she looked hopeful, yet worried- as she shook her head, confused.

"What's that supposed to mean, Derek?"

He looked her right in the eye, and he was considering being honest, but before he even had the chance to speak the truth, he heard the front door open up. Tearing his eyes away from Casey, he looked past her to see Vanessa closing the door behind her, and fixing Derek with an evil look. He felt his cheeks turn red, and his head spin as she folded her arms across her chest, taking a few steps towards the two of them angrily.

Casey looked away, biting her lip as she looked down at her lap, obviously speechless. Derek's gaze was locked with Vanessa's, and he knew that he was really going to get told off, in just a moment's time. Vanessa hadn't looked this angry in ages. In fact, he wasn't sure if she had ever looked this angry, in all the time that he had known her.

"Um, hey babe," Derek said, offering her a casual grin. "Having a good day?"

Vanessa unfolded her arms, raising an eyebrow as she kept her mouth set in a firm line, obviously extremely dedicated to being mad at him.

"Am I having a good day?" she questioned, her tone shaky and angry as she glared down at him. "Let's see. First of all, I've been chasing off the media since last night, and on the rare occasion when a reporter finally got to ask me a question, I couldn't answer it, because I'm finding out everything at the same time as the rest of the world. Then, my fiance spends the day ignoring every phone call I make, and now I find you sitting here with them like there's nothing wrong. So what? You can find time for them, but not for me?"

Derek shook his head, his eyes serious as he tried his best to keep his voice calm.

"It's not like that," he said, and he saw that Casey still wouldn't look up from her lap, despite the fact that she had been mentioned. "You've got people to help you handle the publicity, and you're used to having the media after you. Casey and Justin have never dealt with something like this before, and they've got absolutely no one to help them handle this. I had to bring them over here, because the media won't leave them alone. I haven't been ignoring your calls. I just turned my cellphone back on, and I've been at Casey's all morning trying to get the media to back off."

Casey looked up this time, and Derek gave her a look that told her to go along with whatever he was saying. The last thing he needed was for her to speak up, and for Vanessa to accuse him of lying to her again. He wanted to get this out of the way as quickly as possible, without any arguments breaking out between the two women.

Derek decided to put on his charm, and he reached up, grasping one of Vanessa's hands lightly in his as he maintained eye contact with her.

"You know I'd never purposely ignore you," he lied, and he hoped that Casey didn't see him as a bastard for straight out lying to his fiancee's face. He felt bad for lying to her, he really did. But at the time, it had been the only thing he could think of. He had been so preoccupied with making sure that Casey was dealing with the media appropriately, that he hadn't had time to respond to Vanessa's calls. He didn't know why he cared so much, but he felt this insane need to protect Casey, and make sure that he didn't do anything that would get her mad. He knew that his focus should be on Vanessa, the girl he was going to be marrying in about a month or so, but since his friendship with Casey was so new, and therefore vulnerable, he felt obliged to ensure that nothing went wrong between them. It wasn't like he was picking Casey over Vanessa, he was just ensuring that both of these relationships were stable. And although the balance was definitely tipped right now, in Casey's favour, he knew that he could make it up to Vanessa.

Vanessa looked skeptical, and he knew that she was not as angry, for her eyes didn't have as much fire in them as they had before. But he knew he was by no means off the hook, so he waited for her to speak, voicing her next obvious issue with him. And sure enough, she did.

"You still lied to me," she said, her voice by no means happy, merely calmer than before. "You told me that you had no idea who Justin's father was. You told me it was Casey's son, not yours."

Derek and Casey shared a look, and he sighed, looking back up at his fiancee with tired eyes.

"I didn't know how to tell you," he said, shaking his head. "You didn't even approve of me hanging out with her, and I knew that if you found out that Justin was my son, you'd probably be mad. I mean, I would've told you eventually, don't get me wrong. But it was just too soon. I was trying to accept it myself, and I-"

"Wait a second," Vanessa said, her gaze flickering over to Casey, who had remained silent throughout this whole ordeal. Her eyes narrowed, and she shook her head, looking slightly angry. Casey's eyes moved to look into Vanessa's, and he could tell that neither girl was all that happy to be in the presence of the other, right about now.

"You've known all along that Derek was the father, and you only told him when you guys ran into each other a few weeks ago?"

Her tone was accusatory, and Derek knew that Casey was unsure of how to answer that question. The honest truth was that Vanessa was right, Casey hadn't told Derek. And yeah, Vanessa probably thought that the girl was a bit of a bitch, because of it. But if she had known the whole story- how Casey had done this for Derek's own good, maybe she wouldn't be so quick to judge. But Derek knew that neither of them wanted to explain the whole story, so he merely let Casey say whatever version of the truth she wanted to use.

"I didn't mean to hurt him, and I didn't mean for this to hurt you either," she said quietly, shaking her head. Derek almost felt bad for her then; she sounded so tiny, and so nervous, despite her dislike for Vanessa. Derek knew that, while Casey could stand strong against Vanessa, she was worried about saying something that could destroy or hurt Derek's relationship. Sure, she didn't really like Vanessa, but she did care for Derek quite a bit, and therefore she had to choose her words very carefully.

Vanessa snorted, her arms folded across her chest as she looked away with disbelief, and Derek bit his lip, shifting uncomfortably. He stood up awkwardly, his hands in his pockets as he waited for someone to say something, anything. This definitely wasn't a situation he enjoyed being in, and he found himself wishing that he had just returned his fiancee's phone calls, that morning. He would've, if he had known that not doing so would result in a face to face confrontation.

Sensing that her words had changed nothing, Casey continued.

"I don't think you should let my mistakes impact your relationship with Derek," Casey continued, her words sounding oddly forced. "It wasn't his fault."

Vanessa stared at her for a moment, a look of bittersweet amusement playing on her lips as she laughed, shaking her head.

"_Please_," she got out, taking a step towards Derek, and clutching onto his arm in the most possessive of ways. Derek shifted so that his arm was around her waist, for he felt that he had to do something that would hint to her that he wasn't completely on Casey's side, here.

Casey watched as Vanessa fixed her with a cold look, a look of triumph in her eyes.

"Nothing you do or say can affect my relationship with Derek, sweetheart," she said bitterly, shaking her head. "Don't you worry about that. You don't hold that kind of power."

Casey's eyes narrowed, and she glared at Vanessa with a fueled hatred, obviously wanting nothing more than to attack the woman, then and there, consequences be damned. Vanessa smirked at Casey, before turning her gaze to look at Derek, brushing her hand gently against his cheek to get him to look at her. He tore his eyes away from Casey, and looked towards Vanessa, frowning slightly as she smiled flirtatiously, in an obvious attempt to win over Derek's full attention.

"Don't worry; I can't stay mad at you, Der," she whispered, though Derek knew perfectly well that Casey could hear her, and that she wanted it that way. "I love you too much to let this come between us. And I know that you only kept it from me because you thought it was what was best, right?"

Derek swallowed hard, nodding his head as he kept his eyes locked with hers. He did have to admit that the girl had amazing eyes. It was moments like this, when they shared more than a moment of physical attraction, that he was sure about marrying Vanessa, and that he figured that they could last. It was moments like this that drove the doubt from his mind.

"Right," he said quietly, his voice determined. "I would've told you sooner, if I had known that it would upset you to find out like this. I'm sorry."

She wrapped both of her arms around his neck tightly, causing him to turn slightly, his other arm finding it's way around her waist until he had her in a close embrace. She shook her head as their eyes locked together, and he tried to pretend like it wasn't awkward, having Casey sitting right there on the couch next to them.

"I forgive you," she said, her voice gentle. "I mean, it must have been tough dealing with finding this out, and having to make all these changes in your life because of some kid. Maybe it's best you didn't tell me right away; you were still accepting it yourself, right?"

He nodded, trying to dismiss the nagging desire in the back of his head to correct her mention of Justin as just 'some kid'. He knew that he was already on rough waters with her now, and that rocking the boat even further wouldn't do anybody any good whatsoever.

"Right," he agreed, sighing as he gave an effortless little half-smile. "Like I said, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said, running her hand through his hair. Her eyes softened, and a tiny smile appeared on her lips as she giggled. "I love you."

Derek's eyes travelled for less than a millisecond to Casey, who had looked away, apparantly finding this just as awkward as he was. Derek had a feeling that Vanessa knew full well how weird this was for her, and he had a hunch that that was exactly why she was doing it. He felt sort of bad for Casey, who couldn't exactly get up and walk away from it, but as Vanessa watched him intently, he knew what he had to do to earn her full forgiveness. And keeping Vanessa happy was what he was supposed to do, right?

Sighing, he turned his gaze back to Vanessa, and gave her a little half-smile, nodding his head.

"I love you too," he said, and as Casey looked away, Vanessa smiled, leaning up and giving him a soft kiss on the lips. He kissed her back, but only briefly, for he pulled back at the first chance he got, not wanting to make this any weirder than it already was. Vanessa looked momentarily confused, but Derek shook his head at her, indicating that it was no big deal. She shrugged it off as he untangled himself from her, merely placing his arm around her waist, and holding her against his side.

He looked back down at Casey, who reluctantly met his gaze with tired eyes and a worn out expression. He forced a tiny, hopeful smile as he shrugged his shoulders, nodding towards the kitchen.

"Who's up for some dinner?"

- - - - -

If Derek could describe his evening in one word, there would be no competition as to what that word would be. The overall feeling achieved throughout their little get-together that evening could only be summed up in one word, and one world only; hell. He had known from previous experience that putting Casey and Vanessa at the same dinner table was never a good idea, so he wasn't quite sure why he had allowed himself to do it anyways. The outcome tonight had been no better than the outcome from the night before. The girls absolutely hated each other, and although they never officially voiced those thoughts, for Derek's sake, it was obvious in Casey's stare, and in Vanessa's words.

They had sat through their dinner quietly, at first, none of them saying a word to each other. Derek had eventually tried to initiate casual conversation, but this only resulted in both women trying to speak to him, as opposed to each other. If there was one thing he absolutely hated, it was having to pick who to listen to, because one of them always got moody with him, for it. He had learned that the best way to stay in both of their good graces was to direct a question at one of them, and then ask the other, only after the first had finished.

Vanessa had spent the night trying to make sure that Casey knew exactly who was boss, and who owned Derek. She was constantly giving him flirtatious little smiles, or holding onto his hand, and even sneaking in occasional kisses that were meant for Casey's eyes. It was like she was trying to drive the girl crazy with jealousy, and although Derek knew that Casey felt nothing for him anymore, Vanessa didn't seem to understand that, and he knew that Casey didnt' exactly like watching her ex-boyfriend, and the father of her child, making out with his new fiancee right in front of her. The only thing Derek was grateful for was the fact that Vanessa had the common sense not to pull anything like that in front of an impressionable Justin.

And speaking of Justin, Derek wasn't sure if Vanessa could be anymore clueless, when it came to dealing with the boy's condition. Derek could admit that it was hard to understand him, and he knew better than anyone else that it was difficult to get used to communicating with him, but Vanessa was going way off in the deep end, here. She wasn't even approaching him with a hint of sensitivity. No, she dealt with him as though he was... God, he hated the word, but nothing else seemed appropriate here; she dealt with Justin as though he was retarded, and he was far from it. She wouldn't speak to him at all. Justin, God bless him, being the friendly and curious soul that he was, had attempted to come over and investigate, to see who she was. He had stopped in front of her, giving her a curious look, and Derek knew by the look on the boy's face that he was just dying to say hello, to know who this new person was.

But all that his soon-to-be stepmother had done was fix him with a blank look, and tell Casey that her kid seemed to want something. Without another word, she had gotten up, and moved to the couch. This had earned her a glare from Casey, a hurt look from Justin, and a mere shake of the head from Derek. How could he try and tell her how to deal with Justin, when she didn't _want_ to deal with Justin? He had learned from his own mistakes that you had to want to help him, you had to care to make any progress with the boy.

But finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Vanessa was leaving to go home. Derek had walked her to the door, to avoid having to deal with the goodbyes around Casey, but he knew that she could see and hear everything, from her spot on the couch. She had her head bowed down, but he knew from experience that it was easy to see everything going on by the front door, from here.

"So she's spending the night here," Vanessa was saying, her voice anything but pleased as she leaned against the door, giving Casey a disapproving stare. She looked back up at Derek, her eyes full of mistrust as she shook her head at him, pouting,

"I'm not so sure I'm okay with that, Derry," she said, trying her best to sound distraught. "I mean, she's your ex-girlfriend, and I trust you... but..."

"Babe, Casey's not going to try anything on me, I promise you," he said, knowing that she could probably hear every word he saying, right now. "She's a good person, she knows better; and besides, me and her are just friends. She's just my ex-girlfriend, babe; you know that. I'm only getting her and Justin to stay here because of everything that's happening with the media. It's not like this is long term, or anything."

She frowned as she realized that she wasn't going to be able to persuade Derek away from letting Casey stay with him. Sighing, she grasped the collar of his long sleeve shirt as he placed one hand on the door beside her head, leaning in close to her.

"I guess I'll have to be okay with that," she said, shrugging her shoulders, and looking put out. "I trust you."

"Mmm, good," Derek murmered, as he leaned in closer to her, smiling. "I love you, babe. You know that, right?"

She smiled back, despite her discomfort with the current situation, and she nodded her head, sighing as she gave into his softness.

"Yeah, I know that," she said, pulling him closer. "I love you too."

Derek almost forgot about Casey even being there as Vanessa closed the distance between them, clutching his collar in her fist, and pulling him right up against her, so that she was trapped between the door, and Derek. He almost lost his balance as his hand slipped from the wall, but he caught himself by placing one hand on her waist, his lips connecting with hers instantly. He could feel her smiling against his lips as she ran a hand through his hair, letting her fingernails rake gently across the back of his neck as they trailed down to his back, her fingers spread out across the material of his shirt. He knew that Casey was watching, and he felt almost guilty for doing this in front of her, but Vanessa was his fiancee; he was allowed to kiss her.

She only pulled back after a few seconds, and she giggled as Derek pressed a single kiss against the base of her neck, grinning against her skin. She clutched his shoulder as she tilted her head back, laughing.

"Derek, I've gotta go," she said, her voice back to a normal volume as she gave him one quick kiss on the lips, and used one hand to push him away from her. He grinned, taking a step backwards, and giving a little half-wave.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," he said, and she nodded in agreement, before turning, and pulling the door open. She didn't spare him a glance as she stepped out into the hallway, and closed the door behind her.

The sound of it seemed to echo throughout the apartment as Derek remained back onto Casey, biting his lip as he stared at the closed door, unsure of what to do with himself. An awkward and unfamiliar silence had fallen between himself and Casey, and he was almost frightened to turn around and face her. He knew that he had to face her sometime, but right now, he just wasn't sure what he was supposed to say.

He was saved from having to think of something to talk about when he heard her voice speak up from behind him, quiet and void of any real emotion.

"Justin's asleep," she said, and when he stuffed his hands into his pockets, bowing his head, she went on, sensing that he had nothing to say. "He was trying to get you to come in to say goodnight, but I figured you were busy... Vanessa was trying to talk to you. It was about twenty minutes ago."

Derek felt a guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he cringed, his eyes closing briefly as he recognized that he had basically ignored Casey and Justin the whole evening, even if he had been trying to avoid it.

"Casey," he tried, but when he turned, he saw that she was shaking her head, a sad little smile on her lips.

"It's fine; she's your fiancee," she said, sounding as though she really understood. "You didn't do anything wrong, and I guess it must be hard for you to balance your time between us, and her. That was sort of why I didn't want you getting involved in the first place, once you found out. A part of me wishes I hadn't told you at all, because... I dunno, now I'm causing issues between you and your fiancee, and Justin wants to spend time with you when you can't be around, and I know it's not your fault, but... maybe this was a mistake."

Derek frowned, taking a couple of steps towards the couch, but being sure not to get too close to her. He shook his head, his eyes filling with hurt and confusion as he locked his gaze with hers.

"So what?" he questioned, trying not to sound too put out by her words. "You don't want me to be involved anymore, is that what you're saying? You want me to just walk away from Justin, now that I've got to know him, is that it, Casey?"

She folded her arms across her chest, turning her head to the side to avoid looking at him. This only angered him further, and he felt his body shaking with slight anger as he raised his voice, trying to get his point across.

"Don't turn away from me!" he yelled at her, not even noticing the terrified glance she gave him, once she looked up and saw the look of anger in his eyes. "You can't just do that, Casey. You can't keep me around for a few weeks, and let me get to know my son, and then say that _maybe _it was a mistake. _You_ were the one who made me promise over and over that I wouldn't walk away from this, and now you're telling me I never should've gotten involved?"

"I'm not saying that!" she got out, her voice weaker than his as she stood up, her eyes wide as she shook her head, arms still folded across her chest. "I'm not telling you to walk away, now. You're in his life; it would kill him if you left. All I'm saying is that I sort of think it was a mistake for me and you to even get involved in each other's lives again. I knew how much time Justin was going to take up in your life, and... maybe I didn't warn you enough, but-"

"Dammit, Casey," he muttered, cutting her off as he ran his hand through his hair, turning away from her. He walked forwards a couple of feet, blowing out an impatient breath as he struggled not to turn around and yell at her some more. He hated yelling at her, but sometimes she just made him so angry. And, as usual, his anger got the better of him, and he found himself twisting around again, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"I'm trying _so hard_ to balance my time between the three of you. You're like... my best friend, Justin is my son, and Vanessa is my fiancee, and you guys are all really important people in my life. It'd be so much easier if you and Vanessa could just grow up and get along, but since you're intent on downright _hating_ each other, it's starting to look like I'm going to have to budget my time with the two of you seperately. My boss yelled at me three days ago because I completely forgot to show up to a publicity event that we had scheduled, and I've barely seen Vanessa in the past few weeks, and I _hate_ it, Casey! I hate that I'm always having to choose between you two! I hate that you guys can't get along! And most of all, I hate that you didn't even have the god damn decency to _tell_ me about my own son years ago!"

Everything was coming out now, and as much as he wanted to stop, he found that he couldn't. It was like he'd struck a fuse, and now, the anger just had to burn itself out through his hateful words.

"Justin is my _son_, Casey! And you hid him from me!" he yelled at her, his face red with anger, his chest rising and falling as he struggled for air. "I'll never get those six years back! I wasn't there when he was born. I wasn't there when he learned how to walk, or during the first little while, when he actually spoke! I wasn't there when he first smiled, or for his first day of school. He may be autistic, but those are still things I would've wanted to be there for, Casey! You took that from me, and it was _so_ damn unfair of you, not to mention _selfish_! Yeah, I get that you did it for me, but in the long run, it only made things worse on me, and on our son! Jesus Christ, did it ever occur to you that I actually _have_ money? I could've done so much more for him than you ever have!"

He stopped abruptly then, when he saw the tears in her eyes, and he felt his heart break as he realized that he had come to a stop right in front of her, his chest pressed against hers as he yelled out all of his frustrations. He'd been extremely out of line, and only then did he register what he had said to her. He hadn't even realized that he had really felt any of that resentment towards her, but he supposed that it had been subconcious.

Nonetheless, as he watched a tear slide down her cheek, it was obvious that he felt like the world's biggest asshole for what he had said to her. No matter what she had done, and no matter how wrong it had been of her to hide the truth from Derek, she hadn't deserved any of what he had just said to her. She was amazing with Justin, and for him to criticize the way she had brought him up... that was just low, and he could admit that.

"Casey," he said quietly, struggling to breathe as he watched her standing there in front of him, crying. "Oh God... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Casey. I didn't mean that, I... I..."

"You know, I thought you were actually a nice guy, Derek," she said, shaking his head as her face turned red with anger and distress. Her eyes were broken as she shook her head, struggling for air.

"I guess I was wrong. Because all I'm seeing now is a total asshole. If you think I'm such a bad parent to Justin, then I'm sorry, but he seems to love me enough anyways. And do you want to know why? Because money doesn't mean anything to him, Derek. Yeah, maybe you could've afforded some fancy treatment, and maybe he'd be a normal kid by now with all of _your _wonderful help, but guess what? I love him, and when you're six years old, and you can't communicate with the rest of the world, that's probably the most amazing thing in the world, to know that someone loves you, despite the fact that you're different from everyone else. And if that doesn't fit some invisible standard of yours, then I'm sorry, but I'm _trying!_"

His eyes were wide as she let out all of her anger on Derek, just as he had done to her. He couldn't blame her for getting so mad at him; he had been a complete jerk, to her.

"Do you have any idea what it was like, going through my first year of university pregnant, Derek?" she yelled, sobbing now. "I mean, I was already miserable enough since I had just lost the guy I was in love with, and then I found out I was pregnant... and the looks that people gave me, when I started showing... they were awful. People were calling me a slut and a whore behind my back, when they thought I couldn't hear them. But I did hear them, and you're the first person to know this, but I went home every single night and _cried_, Derek! I'd sit in my room all by myself, and I'd cry. I'd pick up the phone, and I'd come so close to calling you sometimes that I'd actually have the number dialed..."

She let out a choked sob, and Derek found his heart breaking as he thought of Casey sitting all alone in her dorm for nine months, crying because of something that he had helped cause. The thought killed him, and he wished with all of his heart that he had been there for her. He knew he couldn't change the past, but he wished he could, so he could erase all of this pain, built up and finally released after seven years.

"And then I'd hang up, because I knew that you had your own life, and I wasn't a part of that anymore," she finished, more quietly this time as she shook her head. "I told myself that no matter what happened... I'd love our kid. I told myself that all the pain, and all the ridicule that I was faced with would pay off in the end, when I finally got our kid. And... it did... and I've struggled so much over the years. When Justin was born, people told me to give him up for adoption, that it would be easier than trying to raise him myself, but I didn't want to. I already loved him... and I knew that he was going to be the one keeping me grounded. Sure, I've never had much money, but I've worked so hard to make sure that he has a happy childhood, and for you to turn around now, and tell me that I haven't done enough for the one person I've been struggling to support for seven years straight..."

Her tone was angry again now, but it was a defeated sort of anger, as though she didn't have enough energy left in her to fight with him. She looked up into his eyes, and he saw how much pain she was in as she shook her head, tears still flowing down her cheeks steadily.

"It just hurts, Derek..."

Without another word, he reached out, and pulled her into his arms. He expected her to fight him on it, and try to pull away, but she surprised him by relaxing against his body, her hands resting against his chest, head against his shoulder as she cried, letting out the last of her unreleased emotion. He could feel the sadness just glowing off of her, and he wanted nothing more than to snatch the words back out of the air, because he hadn't meant to cause her so much pain. She had done nothing to deserve it.

"I'm sorry, Case," he murmered, shaking his head as he held her close to him, his chin resting on top of her head. "I'm so sorry. That was so out of line, and I promise you that I never meant a word of it. I just got angry with you, but I shouldn't have said what I did. It was wrong of me. You're an amazing mother, and you were only thinking of me when you kept this a secret. I just overreacted. I've been so stressed out, and... and..."

He could think of no more words as she cut him off with another sob, and he sighed, moving to sit on the couch, coaxing her down with him, so that she was lying against his side as she cried. He kept his arms around her as he stared across the room at a picture of him and Vanessa, one that was framed, and was displayed so proudly on his wall. It was a simple picture, and as Derek's thoughts wandered to Vanessa, he couldn't help but wonder why he never felt this bad, when he said something hurtful to Vanessa. Did this mean that he cared more about Casey?

He frowned, and tried not to think about it as he sighed, relaxing a little when her sobs started to quiet down, a little bit.

"Shh, Case," he whispered, shaking his head at her. "Don't cry; I promise you I didn't mean it."

She didn't say a word to him, and he knew that tomorrow, there would be alot of awkward emotions floating around between the two of them.

But for tonight, Derek didn't give another thought to tomorrow. He merely kept holding onto her, knowing that she needed support right now. He felt like a total asshole for all he had said to her; she hadn't deserved any of his harsh and cruel words. She was one of the kindest people Derek knew, and she didn't deserve any harsh treatment whatsoever. So he kept holding her, wanting her to feel his remorse, which was giving off such a strong vibe, right now.

And fifteen minutes later, when she finally fell asleep against his chest, her tears staining his grey long sleeve shirt, he didn't say a word to wake her up. He felt like she deserved the sleep, and who was he to wake her up, and remind her of her pain? He merely sighed, holding her tighter as he reached over to turn the lamp off, before shutting his eyes in an attempt to get some sleep himself.

And, although he would never admit it to anyone but himself, it was the best night's sleep he had gotten in years.

* * *

**I hope you didn't fall asleep with that ridiculously long chapter. The next chapter is half done, since I had nothing else to do while fanfiction was messed up, so I will post upon reviews :) Let me know what you thought, please!**


	14. Jade

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter Fourteen: Jade**

The next three days were very awkward, between the two of them. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, and he knew that she still hadn't entirely forgiven him for the cruel things that he had said to her, during their argument on her first night in his apartment. He couldn't blame her, because he knew that he had been way out of line, but he hadn't meant for it to cause so much drama between them. He liked being able to talk to her without the presence of some awkward air, but he knew that he had caused this for himself, and he alone was to blame.

On the third day of Casey's stay in his apartment, Justin started to get slightly unruley. Sunday hadn't been too bad, but after he got home from school on Monday and Tuesday, he had wanted to go outside. He had been pretty upset when Casey didn't trust the media enough to take him to the park. But despite this, he loved his father's apartment, that much was obvious. Having such a big space to explore and run around in was so exciting to him that he hadn't even had time to be upset by the change of surroundings, like he normally would've. He loved the glass wall, and he could spend hours lying on the floor next to it, colouring his pictures as he made ocassional glances outside, to the world beneath him. Derek figured it was because Justin liked the view, but Casey said that he had always enjoyed heights, unlike alot of kids. She said that he was one mean tree climber, in the summer.

The media attention was beginning to die off, if only slightly. Derek told Casey that he didn't trust it enough to send her back to her apartment just yet, but in all reality, he just didn't want her to leave. He was really enjoying having someone else around, and he liked the extra time he was getting to spend with his son. He dropped Casey off at work every morning, and he picked her up every afternoon. They would then go to pick up Justin from school, and Derek would wait in the car until they came back out again. He had to get off work a bit earlier for this arrangement to work smoothly, but it was well worth it, and his boss said that he understood what Derek was going through, right now. He had gotten nothing but support from his co-workers, and he was thankful for it. He slightly wondered if this was only because his situation sort of drew attention to the company, but he tried not to think of it like that.

On Tuesday afternoon, after they had gotten Justin home and settled away, Casey finally proposed the idea of bringing Justin to the park. The media was no longer stationed outside Derek's apartment building, and he had a feeling that they had given up, for now anyways. They knew when to give up and move on, and he was pretty sure that the birth of Brittany Spears' latest child had diverted their attention for awhile, even in Canada. He was still a bit cautious, but he supposed that a little trip to the park would do them no real harm. He'd be there with them, after all, and it was a nice day. Justin hadn't been able to go to the park in days, and his extra energy was starting to morph into a bit of an attitude. He was unruley, and even more particular than usual, and Casey said that this all attributed to the fact that he was sick of being cooped up, all week long.

So at around three thirty in the afternoon, they found themselves at the same playground as before, walking around the perimeter of the park as Justin played on the jungle gym. They were sure to keep a closer eye on him this time, for fear of a repeat of the incident that had occured last week, but he didn't see it as a problem. Justin was much too focused on the jungle gym today, and that didn't really require much sharing, like the monkey bars had. He was hanging upside down at the moment, a huge grin on his face as he used his legs to swing himself back and forth.

Derek walked along casually with his hands stuffed into the pocket of his dark blue jeans. The sun was shining right down into his eyes, and his only shield from it was the few loose hairs that had fallen across his line of sight, in the faint breeze. It was hot out today, and he found himself wishing that that tiny breeze would just get a little bit stronger. But he knew that he couldn't change the weather, so he forced himself to deal with the hot temperature, and kept himself slightly cool by constantly wiping his forehead of any sweat. He knew that wearing a long sleeve shirt hadn't been a good idea, but it was too late to change that now.

He squinted into the sunlight as he sighed, tilting his head to look at Casey. She was wearing a cute little pink top today. It was sleeveless and low-cut, and it tied up right against her lower back. Her light blue jeans matched with it, and her hair was flowing down over her shoulders and onto her back in little waves, her bangs pinned back from her face with a cute little clip that she had owned for ages. He had to admit that she looked really good today, and he felt no shame in telling her.

"You... uh... you look really pretty today, Casey," he said, his voice nervous as he gave her a cautious smile. "I don't know what it is... you just look different."

She turned her head to look at him, and her eyes softened slightly as she realized that he was being serious. A tiny smile formed on her lips, and she blushed gently underneath the mid-afternoon sun.

"Thank you," she said quietly, sounding slightly proud, as though she didn't receive these sort of compliments a whole lot. "It means alot."

"Well, you always look nice," Derek said, shrugging his shoulders as he tried to make his comment sound observant, as though he wasn't aiming to compliment her, merely make an observation. "Doesn't anyone ever tell you that?"

The smile on her lips definitely faltered as he spoke, and he knew immediately that he had said something wrong. She looked down at the ground as she folded her arms across her chest, as though slightly self-concious. As soon as he saw the look in her eyes, as though she was slightly removed from the situation, he felt his stomach drop, and he knew to trust that feeling. His gut instinct had never led him wrong before, and he knew that something was up with Casey.

"Case?" he asked, frowning slightly as they slowed down their pace, and she scanned the park for Justin, seeing that he was still on the jungle gym. She kept her eyes on her little boy as Derek's eyebrows scrunched together, and he waited for a response. Sometimes, he knew that she had no intentions on answering him, and then there were times when he knew to just be quiet; that she'd answer him after a brief moment of well-gathered thoughts.

This was one of those moments, for it only took a grand total of ten seconds for her to think up a suitable response.

"People compliment my looks, I guess..." she said slowly, sounding uncomfortable with what she was saying. "-but I wouldn't exactly call it friendly. They're usually not all that nice about it."

Derek frowned, not understanding what Casey meant. How could someone compliment her, but it not come off as friendly? Honestly, this girl made no sense sometimes. She was harder to figure out than a rubics cube, and that was definitely saying something, since he'd never solved one of those things in his life. Before he could question her, however, she had gone on, apparantly sensing that Derek was unsure of what she had meant.

"Back when I was pregnant with Justin, guys at school would make really rude comments," she said, lowering her gaze to the ground. "They were different than the people who just called me a slut; those people thought I couldn't hear them. But there was this one group of guys that I always used to see that would make the comments loud enough so that I could hear."

She paused, and Derek waited anxiously, before Casey went on, sighing.

"They'd say I was a hottie, and that they'd get with me in a second, if I wasn't such a slut," she said, shaking her head. "See, rumour around the school was that I slept around back in Ontario, and I didn't even know who the father of my child was. Everyone thought that I was just some sort of whore, and because of that, there were guys who would be all over me, thinking I was easy, and then there were guys that would be afraid to even go near me. They figured I was like some walking STD, I guess. They'd just play it cool, making their stupid little comments, and making jokes about me so that I could hear them."

"Bastards," Derek muttered, his hands clenching into fists against the material of his pockets. "Total idiots. I hope you never listened to them, Casey. You're not a whore, and you're not anything that they made you out to be. I hope you know that."

She nodded, and although she was telling him that she agreed, the look in her eyes almost suggested that she didn't really believe him, and that she didn't really think of herself in a positive way. He hoped that wasn't the case, but he shoved the thought away from his mind as he listened to what she was saying.

"Some of the people that I used to hang around with always made these dumb little jokes about how I didn't have to worry about being a single mother, because I could always sleep around for money," she said, and when Derek's head snapped up, she realized that he had taken what she had said just a little bit too literally. He seemed to think that she had done just that, and of course he was wrong.

"I didn't do that though," she assured him quickly, shaking her head. "Don't worry about that. I'd never get involved in something like that."

"Good," he said quickly, his features visibly relaxing as he breathed out a quick breath of relief. "You're way too amazing to get involved in something like that. You deserve respect, and I wouldn't want to see yourself degrade your own morals, just to get some money or make a guy happy."

Casey was prevented from responding to Derek's comment when she felt a hand slip into her own, and she looked down to see Justin standing there, grinning up at his mother happily. He had definitely had a change in attitude since they had taken him to the park, and Derek hadn't seen the kid look this happy all week. His eyes were lit up with excitement, and reached up with his free hand to brush his hair away from his eyes as he motioned for Casey to kneel down. She did so, and Derek watched with interest as Justin pointed towards an young woman standing near a tree, holding onto a leash that held her small golden lab puppy. Casey and Derek both looked over at what Justin was pointing to, and when the little boy looked back up at his parents, he was practically falling over with excitement.

"Puppy!"

Derek always felt a surge of happiness flood through him whenever Justin spoke; it was a rare occasion when he decided to verbalize his thoughts, but it just made the times when he did speak all that more amazing, to them. He felt himself grinning happily as Casey smiled, squeezing her son's hand gently as to congratulate him for what he had just done.

"That's right, baby," she said, sounding overjoyed as she glanced up at Derek with sheer happiness in her eyes. "It is a puppy. Good job."

Derek couldn't wipe the smile off his face as Justin reached up with his free hand, and grabbed onto the hand that Derek had just removed from his pocket. He was surprised, but definitely not disappointed as he took his son's hand, trying to keep himself balanced as Justin practically yanked at their hands to get them to follow him.

"Go see!" he got out, and maybe it was the absolute joy of hearing him so excited over something that got them, but either way, Derek and Casey shared a brief look, before nodding, and allowing Justin to pull them over towards the huge tree, where the woman was standing in the shadows that the leaves cast against the freshly cut green grass beneath their feet.

The woman, who looked to be in her early thirties or so, was watching what Derek could only assume was her child, as she leaned against the tree. The puppy, who looked as though he could only be a few months old, was clipped onto a red leash with white images of bones and pawprints on on it. He was tugging playfully, either looking for his owner to come and play with him, or wanting to go on a walk.

Casey held Justin back for a moment as they approached the dog, and Derek understood that Casey wanted to make sure the dog was safe, though he clearly looked as safe as a teddy bear. But safety always came first with Casey, and making sure that Justin never got hurt was her first priority, that much he knew. And he also understood that some dogs could be dangerous, and that some owners didn't appreciate people coming up and playing with their dogs, without permission.

Justin pouted as Casey's free hand held onto his shoulder, keeping him back a good few feet from the dog. He waited impatiently as Casey smiled at the woman, her natural charm kicking in instantly. She was sweeter than candy sometimes, and Derek knew that practically nobody could say no to Casey. She was just so kind to people.

"I hope you don't mind, but our son really wanted to come over and see your dog," she said as politely as possible, as the woman glanced at the trio before her. "I just wanted to make sure it was okay with you if he-"

Derek supposed that the woman got asked this question alot, for a slight smile broke out on her face, and she nodded, not even giving Casey a chance to answer. Her voice was genuinely sweet as she responded to her, fixing Justin with a tiny smile.

"Of course he can play with the dog," she said, and without another word, Casey and Derek released their son, allowing him to fall onto his knees and pet the puppy. The woman watched him with a smile on her face as the puppy licked Justin's hand, causing him to laugh happily.

She looked back up at Derek and Casey, nodding towards the little boy crouched on the ground with her dog.

"That's a cute kid you've got," she commented, and Derek saw the pride in Casey's eyes as she nodded her head, her hands finding their way into her pockets as she eyed her son happily, loving the smile on his face. Derek had to admit that it felt great to see that Justin was enjoying himself, and that he was having a good time in the park. He hadn't been out in ages, and although Derek had been nervous about taking him out at all, with all the media still lurking somewhere, he had to admit that this was better than he expected. He was sure that people recognized him, for he had received some pretty intense stares as he walked around the park with Casey, and with his son. But nobody had commented on it to his face, and he was grateful for that. The last thing he wanted was for someone to question them publically about Justin. They deserved their privacy just like anyone else in that park.

"Thanks," Casey said, in response to the woman's compliment. "He's got autism, but he's still a great kid. He absolutely loves animals."

The woman chuckled gently, nodding towards the little boy as though confirming Casey's words.

"I can tell," she noted, and as she spoke, Justin turned around, one hand still combing through the puppys' golden-coloured fur. He was grinning, and he looked directly into his father's eyes for once, as though he wanted Derek to know that he was talking directly to him, and only him.

"Daddy, look!" he cried, and at that moment, Derek felt himself fighting back tears. Okay, so he hated being an emotional person. He absolutely despised the rare occasion when he would let loose, and shed a couple of tears. He avoided crying like the plague, and that was a strict guideline of his. He'd been following it for years, and that was probably never going to change.

But to hear his son call him 'Daddy' for the first time in his entire life... that was something that he felt was worth getting emotional over. He knew that Justin knew full well that Derek was his father; Casey had told him even before they'd met that the man in the pictures she had shown him was his father. She'd told Derek that Justin knew all about his father even before Derek came along, because she had wanted him to know that he _did_ have a daddy, despite the fact that he wasn't around.

But he was around now, and whatever doubt that he'd ever had in his mind about Justin not knowing who he was had vanished. To hear speak directly to him, to address him as his father... this was definitely a feeling he wouldn't forget very soon.

Casey was eyeing him with a tiny little smirk on her face, as though she knew exactly what was on his mind, and exactly what he was thinking right now. He knew that she was well aware that this was the first time Justin had ever verbally referred to Derek as his father, and she knew how much that must mean to Derek.

Derek didn't bother looking over at Casey as he fought back whatever emotion he was feeling, and took in a shaky breath, kneeling down onto the grass next to his son. He placed his arm casually across Justin's shoulders, and he forced out his best smile as he tightened his grip around the boy, and looked right back into the kid's eyes, his own eyes soft and caring as he held back the urge to hug the kid then and there.

"You like the dog, buddy?" he asked, his voice gentle as Justin reached for his fathers' hand, guiding it towards the dog so that his father could pet it as well. Derek kept his hand hovering over the top of Justin's, and he let his fingers comb through the dog's fur. The animal looked up at them, panting as he rolled over onto his back, and as Justin giggled, Derek couldn't help but smile. The kid looked so happy, and he absolutely loved it when Justin had good days like this, where he was overly verbal, even if he only spoke a few times. He had only spoken a couple of other times when Derek was around, but the diet change was definitely helping him become more verbal. Casey had kept him on track with the new changes to his eating habits, and the progress was definitely noticeable in his more frequent facial expressions, his speech progress, and by the fact that his tantrums had become slightly reduced, over the past week or so. Derek and Casey were both proud of their son, and it was obvious in the way that Casey looked at him that- although he was doing amazing, she knew he could do so much better, with a few more changes.

Casey was watching the two of them with a smile on her lips as she folded her arms across her chest, sighing as a faraway look crossed her eyes. She looked quite thoughtful, and when she spoke up, Derek could hear the happiness in her voice.

"I've always wanted to get him a dog," she noted, sounding as though she was thinking hard. "He loves them, and so do I, actually. I've always sort of wanted a Yorkshire Terrier. They're small, but they're just so adorable."

Derek paused as he continued to stroke the dogs' fur calmly. Her words had been so casual, but something had registered in the back of his mind, and he knew that the thought wasn't going to go away anytime soon. When he got an idea in his head, it always stuck until something better came along, or until he did something about it. He had a stubborn streak about him, in that way, and he knew that he was going to have to act on this idea. Her words had just been too meaningful, too longing.

So Casey had always wanted a dog; a Yorkshire Terrier?

He found himself smirking as the sound of Justin's laughter echoed somewhere in the back of his mind, merely passing through his thoughts momentarily.

That could be _very_ easily arranged.

- - - -

Casey had wanted to go back to her apartment, that night. She had told Derek that- if they could go out in public without a single person approaching them, she was pretty sure that they could return to their apartment in peace. They had driven by there on the way home, and there had only been one news truck parked outside the place. She claimed that she could get past them if he dropped her off around the back door, but he had flat out refused. He didn't want to chance that one reporter seeing her, and calling in the rest of them. Besides, how was she supposed to get to work the next morning, without them noticing her getting into her car, which was parked around front? He wasn't one to take chances, when it came to this sort of thing, and he sort of liked having the company around. Despite what he had told Vanessa, about only having them there for protection purposes, he liked talking with Casey after Justin had gone to sleep at night. He liked sitting around with Justin while Casey poked around, throwing something together for dinner. He wondered vaguely if this is what life would have been like if they were a real family, and he found himself longing for that kind of life. It was relaxing, to have a ritual set aside, to be able to always have someone around. He had been living alone for so long now that he had almost forgotten what it felt like to share his space with someone else. And surprisingly, he sort of liked it.

So Casey was going to stay at his apartment for at least one more night, if not two. She hadn't put up too much of a fight, and he could only hope that it was because she really wanted to stay with him, just as much as he wanted her to stay.

He had gone out after supper that night, claiming that he had to run across town to grab something from a co-worker. He said that he might be a little while, but that he would be back before nine. He knew that he would need a little bit of time to do what he had to get done, and that he couldn't take either Casey or Justin with him. This was something that he needed to do on his own.

But at precisely ten minutes to nine, he found himself opening up the front door to his apartment again, a few bags in hand, one arm pressed across the front of his jacket, as though shielding something. He looked slightly tired, but nonetheless motivated.

When he entered the apartment, he found that Justin was nowhere to be seen, but that Casey was curled up on the couch, one arm tucked underneath her head as she buried her nose into one of the novels she was currently reading. She looked so comfortable that Derek almost didn't want to disturb her. He hated interrupting one of her good reading sprees, but before he could even contemplate leaving her there, her ears had picked up on the sound, and she looked up at him, a smile appearing on her lips when she realized who it was.

"Hey, you're home," she noted, sounding surprisingly happy about this. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd gotten lost."

Derek smirked as he placed down the bags next to the door, being sure to keep one arm across his chest, trying his best not to make it too noticeable. He squirmed uncomfortably as he felt something scratching against the skin beneath his long sleeve shirt, but he tried not to let it show as he raised an eyebrow at her, curious.

"Miss me?" he questioned, and she laughed, shaking her head as she pulled herself up into a sitting position, marking her place in the book with a book mark. She set the book aside onto the end table, before standing up, and crossing the room slightly. He made sure that he didn't attract too much attention to himself as she shook her head, a slight smirk playing on her lips.

"Nope," she said, obviously lying. "I was just thinking of turning your bedroom into a spa, if you didn't come back, actually."

Derek rolled his eyes, still grinning as she sighed, shaking her head to indicate that she was just joking around.

"Kidding, of course," she said, before letting her smirk falter into a faint smile, and giving him a curious look. "So where'd you go?"

Derek straightened up, paying attention now. He reached into his coat pocket with his free hand, grasping the desired object in one hand as he extracted it, nodding towards her.

"I went to buy you this," he said, and without another word, he pressed a fancy pink and white dog's collar into her palm, grinning happily as she frowned, glancing down at the object in her hands. It was obvious that she thought he was a complete nutjob, at this point. She examined the collar curiously, but after finding no real point to it, she seemingly gave up. Her eyebrows were furrowed together curiously as she shook her head, shrugging her shoulders.

"I don't get it," she admitted, looking up into his eyes. "What's this for?"

Derek smirked, shrugging his shoulders as he took a few steps forward, brushing past her gently. She hesitated, but turned and watched as he remained back onto her, fumbling with the zipper on his jacket as he came to a stop a few feet away from her.

"Well," he started, taking a deep breath. "I know how protective you are over Justin, and-"

"Justin doesn't need a collar, Derek!" she said incredulously, her eyes wide; she was obviously shocked by this explanation. She hesitated, before adding; "And certainly not a pink one."

He rolled his eyes, refraining from laughing as he finally freed the zipper of his coat, grinning as he attempted to keep his voice under control. He didn't want to give away the surprise of what he had just done for her. He knew that she loved surprises, and he hated it when they got ruined.

"I didn't buy the collar for Justin," he said, his voice serious as he locked his gaze with hers. "I bought it because I didn't think you'd want to lose this little explosion of fur."

He turned around, and as Casey's eyes settled on the tiny little puppy squirming around in Derek's hands, she let out a surprised gasp, her eyes going wide with excitement as her jaw dropped. He could see the shock evident in her eyes and in her facial features as she stared at the little Yorkshire Terrier, who would have been small enough to fit in the palm of Derek's hand, had she stayed still for more than a moment. She had been so tiny that Casey hadn't even the slight bump when Derek had hidden her under his jacket.

Derek caught sight of the huge and excited grin forming on her lips, and he took a step towards her, twisting around so that she could take the puppy from him. She did so with shaky hands, and wide eyes. It was obvious that the shock still hadn't worn off for her, because her eyes were twinkling with an excited little gleam. She cradled the black and brown little furball against her chest, nuzzling him against the bottom of her chin as the dog looked up at it's new owner with curious black eyes. It was an obvious connection, and Casey wrapped her arms around the puppy closer, laughing with disbelief as she gave Derek an amazed look, shaking her head.

"Derek..." she managed to get out, as though she couldn't think of anything else to say to him. "How did you... I mean..."

Derek shrugged his shoulders as he took a step towards her, smiling despite himself. He had no idea why he was even smiling, but he had a feeling that it had to do with the fact that Casey was smiling. It was like her smile was infectious, and he was a helpless victim to her happiness.

"You said you'd always wanted a Yorkshire puppy," he noted, as though it were no big deal. "-so I went out and bought you one. What's the issue here? Do you really want me to take her back?"

He was grinning like an idiot, and he knew that Casey wouldn't let him take the little thing away from her now, not now that she'd actually held him and cuddled him. She'd never be able to turn away an animal that she'd bonded with, even if it was only for a mere twenty seconds. So he wasn't surprised when she shook her head, smiling widely as she buried her face against the puppy's fur.

"Nuh uh," she murmered happily, her eyes on Derek even as she held the animal. "This little critter is mine now. But seriously... you're so full of surprises. When I mentioned that, I didn't think you'd actually go out and buy me a puppy. I didn't even think you'd heard me, to be quite honest."

"Oh I heard," he said, sighing as he took a step forward, and scratched the top of the dog's tiny head, causing her to tilt her head back into Derek's touch. "Her name is Jade. I adopted her from the animal shelter, but she's got a clean bill of health. She's had all her shots, she's already house trained, and the woman at the shelter said she's really obedient. Apparantly, she was left outside the shelter about three weeks ago with her three brothers and sisters, and she's the last one left of the litter. She's only two months old."

"She's adorable," Casey cooed, obviously in love with the little thing already. "How could anyone leave such a cute little face like this one?"

Derek looked over at the exact moment she looked up into his eyes, and he watched as the excited smile faltered into a grateful one, the one that had been the cause of all his good deeds back in high school. He remembered a time when he would do anything and everything to put that grateful smile on her lips, just so he could know he had put it there. And he wasn't surprised that it felt just as good now as it had seven years ago. Even her eyes were grateful as she gave him a little nod, her voice quiter as she spoke up this time.

"Thank you, Derek," she said, as she cuddled the puppy closer, and without another word, she reached out, wrapping one arm around his neck in a one-armed hug, as not to crush the puppy between them. Derek wrapped one arm around her waist, his hand resting on her back for a brief moment, before he pulled back slightly, his arm still around her, but his face a couple of inches from hers. They both fell silent as they kept looking right into each other's eyes, neither one of them willing to look away first. The intensity of her stare almost scared him, and it filled him with a feeling that he hadn't anticipated. The look that she was giving him made his stomach flutter nervously, and made him want to make a move that he knew was completely against the rules, in this little game they played.

He was saved from having to be the one to look away first when the sound of footsteps met his ears, and Casey turned to see Justin walking into the room, looking sort of tired by now. He would usually be in bed at this point, but Derek had a feeling that the boy hadn't wanted to go to sleep until his father got home. He suspected that Casey had tried to get him to go to bed at his actual bedtime, which was eight, but he supposed that the kid must have stayed awake until he heard his father arriving. Nonetheless, he did look sleepy as he rubbed his eyes, stumbling into the living room with nothing on his feet, and his pajama shirt ruffled up from tossing and turning, Derek supposed.

Derek glanced at Casey, wondering if she would make Justin go back to bed, just in case he got too overexcited about the puppy, but one look at her told him that she had no intentions on making Justin go back to bed. He knew that she could be pretty strict when it came to getting Justin to bed on time, but he knew that this was something that she was willing to make an exception for. She gave him a tiny nod, and Derek looked over at his son, trying to get his attention. When Justin saw his father extending a hand to him, he seemed to catch onto the fact that his parents wanted him to come over to them. Frowning slightly, he made his way over to where his parents were standing.

And seconds later, as Justin cradled his new little friend in his arms happily, laughing loudly as the dog licked his face, Derek couldn't help but smile. He saw Casey straightening up, folding her arms across her chest as she fixed him with an amazed look, shaking her head at him. He tried to pretend like he didn't even notice the gaze she was fixing him with, but it was almost impossible, and he finally gave in, turning to her with a tiny grin on his face.

"Yes, Casey?" he asked, smirking, for he knew exactly why she was giving him that look; she was amazed at what he had done for Justin. He didn't even have to ask, to know that he had just done a whole lot of good for Justin. The boy didn't have that many friends, and even a puppy was going to do him wonders, they both knew. They could tell by the happiness and glee in Justin's eyes now that this dog was definitely a good thing.

But Casey merely shook her head as she unfolded her arms, reaching up and wrapping her arm around his neck. Without another word, she had kissed him gently on the cheek, pulling back almost instantly. His skin tingled under the touch of her lips, absent for seven years now, and he found himself blushing just as deeply red as she was, right now. It was obvious that they both had mixed feelings about what she had just done. Sure, it had only been a friendly little peck, but it meant more to Derek than he would like to admit. In fact, it meant a whole lot to him. His cheek was burning now, and he wanted to bring his fingers to the place where her lips had touched, but he knew that he would look foolish, like some stupid schoolboy with a crush.

Despite her embarassment, Casey found it in her to smile, and shrug her shoulders as she took a step back from him, obviously still amazed. His eyes never left hers as she nodded her head at him, smile never fading.

"I take back what I said before," she said quietly, so that Derek had to strain to hear her. Nodding, she went on. "You really are the absolute best thing that ever could've happened for him. I think you getting involved was the most amazing thing that's ever happened for the both of us."

By the both of, she was including herself, and as she crouched down next to her son to try and calm him down a little bit, he couldn't help but feel proud of himself. Casey wanted him around, that much he knew. And as he glanced down at the two happy people below him, he had a feeling that this was what he was supposed to be doing. He was supposed to be making his family happy.

He had just never imagined that this 'family' would've been with Casey. It wasn't Casey that he loved, right? Could he balance his life between two different girls, and a son?

He didn't know, but as Casey looked up and smiled at him, he decided not to think about it anymore tonight. Tonight, he would relax, and enjoy the company of the family he had at the moment.

Because nothing had ever felt better than this.

* * *

**So this was mainly a filler to progress the Dasey a little bit further, but I promise you that the drama actually picks up in the next chapter, as the wedding between Derek and Vanessa draws closer. Will they make it to the altar? Eek. Even though this chapter was boring, I'd really appreciate some thoughts on it, and I will update soon! Hope you liked it. **


	15. Tuxedos

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Fifteen: Tuxedos**

Children always counted down the days as they slipped by, waiting for birthdays, or graduations, or summer vacations. Parents counted the days until school started up again, and they wouldn't have to deal with a whole house full of children running here and there, making a mess all over the place. Gamers in high school crossed the days off their calanders as the release of that hot new game slowly approached. Soldiers counted down the days until that huge battle, the one that they would refer to as _the_ battle, when the survivors told their children and grandchildren of that glorious day.

Derek Venturi counted down the days to his wedding, with a heavy heart, and a feeling of dread starting to grow in his stomach. The idea had never really hit him this strongly before, and he supposed that this was because the wedding hadn't really been that big of a deal, up until recently. Vanessa and her mother had been planning everything, and Derek had made it very clear from the very beginning that he was not the type of person who liked to fuss over flower arrangements, and caterers, and churches, and that if one of them so much as approached him with a planning book or catalogue, there would be uproar. They had stayed true to their word, and neither of them had consulted him a a single detail of the wedding, other than to ensure he knew what colour and style his suit needed to be, so that it would match the rest of the appearal in the ceremony.

He supposed that the truth was hitting him so strongly now because the past few days had been crazy with last minute planning details. The wedding was in three weeks, and after months of laying low, the truth of the matter was finally coming back to hit Derek square in the face; he was getting married. He was going to be accepting Vanessa as his bride, someone he would be spending the rest of his life with. The idea had once seemed so appealing to him, but all of a sudden, all he was faced with when he thought of this type of forever was a sick feeling in his stomach. Something in the back of his mind was telling him not to go through with this, that this wasn't what he wanted. He had tried desperately to push those thoughts away, because they were ridiculous, right? Of course he wanted to be with Vanessa. He would've broken up with her long ago if he didn't, right? But something was telling him that he was fighting for something that just wasn't there, and the more time he spent with Casey, the stronger the feeling got. He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that this was real; his wedding was three weeks away.

On this particular day, they were running over the guest list, to ensure that they knew who had confirmed, who couldn't go, and who they were still waiting to hear from. Both of their families were going to be attending, of course, and it struck Derek as odd that their parents had never met. He supposed that his parents living in London might have something to do with that, but he found it weird that even Vanessa had only met his parents on a few occasions, whereas he had been forced into family get-togethers dozens of times with her family. The wedding would be the first time that their parents actually met each other, and he could only hope that it would go well.

However something told him that it wouldn't. His family was hardly high-class, as opposed to Vanessa's strict and orderly family. They were from completely different planets, in terms of family, and he could only hope that this wouldn't interfere with how smoothly the wedding ran.

"So we still need to hear back from your friend Tony, and a few of my friends told me they'd have to let me know tomorrow whether or not they'll be able to fly in on time," Vanessa was saying, as she paced back and forth across Derek's living room, a notepad in her hand as she ran a hand through her hair anxiously. She was chewing on her bottom lip, and he almost laughed; she looked so funny. The stress of planning this wedding was definitely starting to get to her, and he knew that she was feeling overwhelmed by it all, already. She had spent the last twenty-four hours re-reading her planning book, and making sure that everything she had checked off was really done, and not just some figment of her imagination.

"My cousin Angela can't make it," she continued, frowning as she moved onto the next part of her agenda. "And you said your second cousin Ricky won't be able to fly in from Alberta, right?"

"Right," Derek said, nodding. A thought occured to him, and he sat up a bit straighter, reaching for his can of diet soda on the coffee table. Wrapping his hand around the can, he nodded towards her list.

"By the way, you need to add Justin and Casey to that list, since they'll obviously be going," he said, and he tried to pretend like he didn't notice the way she stopped and turned, a disgusted look on her face. He had put off telling her that they would be attending the wedding, in hopes that the later he told her, the more accepting she would be, but he knew that this wasn't the case. The look on her face now suggested that she wasn't at all happy about the idea of Derek inviting his ex-girlfriend, and his son, to the wedding.

But Derek merely took a sip of his drink, before placing the can back down, his eyes meeting with hers as he raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"What?" he questioned, as though he didn't see what the issue was. "Is there a problem with that?"

Vanessa looked surprised, but she merely placed a hand on her hip as she remained frozen to her spot, shaking her head at Derek as she tried her best not to look too angry. The little flare in her eyes told him that she was _really_ not happy about this, but honestly, he didn't give a damn. He was sick of Vanessa whining on and on about Casey as though she was some sort of infectious disease. He hadn't let the two of them be in the same room together since the night that they'd all had dinner at his place, and he intended for it to stay that way until the night of the rehearsal dinner.

"Of course there's a problem with that, Derek," she said, shaking her head angrily as she narrowed her eyes at him, as though he was being completely ridiculous. "You want your ex-girlfriend, and your autistic son to come to the wedding?"

Her words immediately caused anger to bubble up inside of him, and he knew by the look in her eyes that he must look offended, because she looked like she hadn't expected the reaction that he suspected was reflected in his eyes right about now. He didn't want to start a fight, but if she was going to bring this age-old argument up again, he was going to defend himself, not to mention his son, and a good friend.

"Casey's more than my ex-girlfriend, she's a really good friend, but it's like you're determined to slap that one label on her, and shun her from my life for good," he said, surprising her by allowing his tone to waver with slight defense. "She's only interested in friendship, and all you're interested in is hating her."

Vanessa flicked her planner down onto the coffee table gently, ignoring the gentle thud of it as she crossed her arms across her chest, rolling her eyes pointedly.

"Oh _please_," she said, sounding stressed out now, as though she was sick of hearing Derek defend her enemy. "I'm not intent on hating her."

Derek snorted, raising an eyebrow as he thought about how cruelly Vanessa treated Casey, whenever the two were in the same room. He straightened up, giving her a challenging look as he prepared himself for a lengthy and emotional argument, one that was becoming all too familiar for his liking. This definitely wasn't a new topic for them to be fighting over, lately.

"No?" he asked, his voice amused as he gave a bitter laugh. "That's funny, actually. Because I recall mentioning Casey a few times over the past few weeks, and every single time I do so, you either tune me out and pretend like I never said a word, or you change the subject until I shut up."

She looked unmoved, and he felt his cheeks go red with anger as she chose to ignore his words, practically proving his point right on the spot.

"Forget the fact that you're ignoring me right now, just because Casey's involved in this conversation, but what about everytime I go over to her place to visit my son, huh? When I leave the house, you fix me with these dirty glares, and act as though I'm the worst person in the world for going to see Justin. That's exactly what I'm doing there, in case you haven't noticed. I'm not there to make you angry or jealous, or to spend time with Casey; I'm there to visit my kid. He just came into my life, and now that he's gotten to know me, he wants me around. You had a father when you grew up, and so did I; why can't he? I've been away for six years, and I really want to make up for that now. But that's really hard when I've got you on my back everytime I walk out the door."

Vanessa was staring at him now, her mouth hanging slightly open with surprise, matching her widened eyes perfectly. He knew that she apparantly hadn't been aware that he had even held any form of resentment towards her for her attitude towards Casey, but she had to find out sometime. This had been something that had been bugging her for weeks now, and he wasn't willing to hold it in anymore. He was sick of getting treated like some sort of asshole just because he went over to Casey's almost everyday. Sure, he may have been lying slightly when he said that he only went over there to see Justin. Seeing his son was the main reason, because he knew that Justin almost expected it of him now, but he did go there to see Casey too, and he could admit that to himself. She was practically his best friend, and spending time with her was obviously something that he enjoyed. But just because he hung out with her alot didn't mean that Vanessa had the right to treat either him or Casey like she was. They weren't doing anything wrong, and they didn't deserve this harsh treatment.

But apparantly, Vanessa had some issues of her own that she wanted to bring forward to him, because the look in her eyes switched from confusion, to slight anger, as a sense of power washed over her features.

"Stop acting like I'm the bad person in all of this, okay?" she snapped, her eyes narrowed into a glare as she kept her arms folded across her chest. "Your little buddy Casey isn't too eager to be around me either, so I don't know why you're putting all of the blame on me. It's not like it's one-sided or anything. She hates me too, and I know that you know that. Why would I want to hang around with someone who hates me?"

Derek couldn't deny that Casey probably hated Vanessa just as much as Vanessa hated her, but he was still getting sick and tired of it. Besides, at least Casey had made the slightest bit of effort to get along with Vanessa. She was a nice person by nature, but from the very beginning Vanessa had been asking her rude questions, and saying things that were totally and completely out of line. Derek couldn't blame her for not wanting to be around his fiancee.

"You started all of this tension between the two of you," he said, shaking his head. "She tried to be nice to you, and you went off asking her all of these awkward questions about her son. And besides, you were putting her down before you even met her. When I told you that she didn't know who the father was, you basically accused her of sleeping around, and being a whore. I had to personally tell you to stop judging her before you had even met her. That's not right, Vanessa. You're old enough to at least act mature around her."

Vanessa looked offended by the fact that her boyfriend was siding with his ex, but she tried her best to act unaffected as she shrugged her shoulders, as though she really didn't care what he had to say about her.

"Me and Casey don't like each other, and I highly doubt we ever will," she said, her voice determined as she locked her gaze with Derek's. "So you know what? I really think that you need to take all these ideas that you have about all of us getting along, and forget about them, because it's so not going to happen. We don't live in a perfect world, Derek."

"I know that," he said, shaking his head bitterly. "Trust me, if we were in a perfect world, I would've never let her go to California, and I would've been in my son's life from the very beginning."

The words had poured out of his mouth so quickly that he wasn't even sure why he had said it; what had he meant? He had said it so fast, that he hadn't had time to try and decode what the words had really meant. Was he talking about wishing that he had never let Casey go to California because he wished he was still with her, or had he merely been expressing his own grief about not getting involved in Justin's life until recently? Even he didn't know the answer to that question, and he was suddenly afraid that Vanessa would assume that he had meant the harsher of the two possibilities, and assume that he wanted Casey back, which he wasn't admitting to.

He wasn't sure which one she chose to believe, but nonetheless, he saw that hurt flickered through her eyes as she registered that his idea of a perfect world didn't even involve her. If he wasn't so angry at her, he would've felt bad, but he was still so resentful towards her for all she had said about Casey, that he couldn't find it in his heart to feel any remorse for the words he had just spit out at her.

Despite the hurt in her eyes, she managed to narrow them at her as she shook her head at him, obviously a confusing mixture of shock and anger.

"I can't believe you just said that to me," she said, as though he had really surprised her. "I don't know what you were trying to hint at, but I'm not even going to question it. All that matters is that you're siding with _her_ over me. What the hell is that about, Derek? You're marrying me in three weeks, and you're spending all of your time with some other girl; don't you know how much that hurts?"

He rolled his eyes; this was getting absolutely nowhere. She was just jealous of Casey, and he knew that. She was used to sooking and whining until Derek gave her whatever it was that she wanted, but that wasn't going to work on him this time. Eliminating Casey from his life would mean eliminating Justin, and he was never going to do that. Not now that he actually knew the boy, and had gotten the chance to bond with him. There was no chance in hell of him walking away from everything that he had worked so hard to build up, over the past month or so.

"It shouldn't hurt, because there's nothing going on between me and Casey," he said, shaking his head. "That's the last time I'm going to say that, because this is getting really stupid. We could sit here all day and argue back and forth, and I bet we'd get nowhere. The point is that I want Casey and Justin at the wedding, and I want Justin as ring bearer. You invited all of your friends in family, now let me invite mine. Is there something else you're not telling me, because not liking Casey is the stupidest reason I've ever heard of. You don't even have to look at her."

Vanessa stared at him for a moment, and her gaze was so intense that it almost frightened him. It was like she had to say something, but it was something that even she couldn't herself to say. He knew that she had to draw the line somewhere- everyone did- and he supposed that this was that imaginary line. But he kept his gaze strong, and he knew that she felt completely obliged to tell him what was on her mind.

So she took a deep breath, unfolding her arms and slipping her hands into her pockets as she shrugged, deciding to come forward with her opinion.

"Yeah, I guess there's one more reason, but I know you're going to get mad at me for saying this."

Derek shrugged, his eyes never leaving her face as he ensured she didn't look away.

"I'm already mad, so you might as well tell me while we're already fighting," he said, knowing that this was quite true. "So go on, tell me. What's another logical reason behind not wanting Casey and Justin at the wedding?"

She only remained quiet for another moment, as she gave the matter a little bit more thought. When it became apparant that Derek wasn't going to give up this argument until he knew what she had been about to say, she sighed, and continued, her eyes serious as she spoke.

"Fine, you want to know?" she questioned, and when he nodded, she went on shamelessly. "I think Justin's going to ruin the wedding. The boy doesn't even talk, and when he does, he's having a temper tantrum. He can't even spend a full day in a normal classroom, and he's got the attention span of a teaspoon. If you honestly think that kid of yours is going to be able to sit still for the duration of the wedding, let alone be able to walk down that aisle and know what he's supposed to be doing. We can't have a kid like that at the wedding, Derek. You know that everything we do is made public, and if the boy so much as makes one mistake, everyone will know that our wedding wasn't flawless."

Derek stared at her for a moment. He found himself thinking that his fiancee was very lucky that he had such a strong policy against hitting girls, because she was looking like a very tempting target right about now. She hadn't bothered to be sensitive with her words, and it didn't matter how much she changed them around and laced them with good intentions; she was basically calling Justin incapable, and retarded, and Derek didn't appreciate that at all. Sure, he may very well be turning into the next Casey, getting all overprotective and whatnot, but he didn't care. His son's happiness was important to him, and he wanted Justin to remember that he had been a part of his father's wedding. He didn't care if the wedding wasn't _flawless_; nothing was flawless. He would probably forget about one little hitch on his wedding day, in fifty years, but he knew that he'd never forget seeing his son coming towards him, his face all smiles as he carried the rings to the alter to the best of his abilities.

"You honestly think I care if there's so much as one hitch in this wedding?" he questioned, laughing with amusement as he shook his head. "I don't care if Justin makes a mistake, Vanessa. He's six years old, and he's got autism. I know that it would probably be a little bit of a challenge to get him to focus in such a public environment, but Casey can help him, and besides, he's smarter than he looks. He's not mental, Vanessa."

"I know he's not," she said, though he could immediately tell that she was lying; that was exactly what she thought about the boy, and they both knew it. She paused, before biting her lip, as though she was thinking hard about something. He knew that look, and he knew that she was about to bring up something that she had been putting off, something that he probably wasn't going to like very much, if at all.

And she immediately proved him correct.

"I've been thinking alot lately," she admitted, folding her arms again as she began to pace the living room, her eyes fixed on the floor as though it were the most interesting thing in the room. Derek's eyes followed her as she continued with her explanation, sounding hesitant and nervous.

"There's this center in the States that a friend of mine told me about," she said, her voice quiet as she spoke. "They run programs for children who have autism. It runs from August to June, typically, and they have specialists trained there that assess every kid's needs."

Derek watched her closely as she went on, and he found his eyes narrowing suspiciously at her. He really didn't know what she was getting at here, and he wasn't too sure he wanted to know.

"I mean, I know it would mean spending alot of time away from him, and I know it's really expensive, but we can afford it for him, and-"

"Wait a second, you want to send Justin to the States?" he cried, finally catching onto the fact that she wasn't just discussing the center; she wanted to send his sonthere. When she was silent, her eyes giving everything away, he shook his head, his face turning red as his anger finally bubbled over the edge.

"Is this your answer to everything?" he yelled at her, taking a few steps towards her as her face fell, realizing that she hadn't convinced him. "You just want to ship him off, so that you don't look bad, and that I won't have to go around Casey anymore, is that it?"

She shook her head, her eyes pleading with him to listen to her, but her voice was void of any real desperation as she tried to make him change his mind. He knew that she was doing this for her own selfish good, and not for the good of her future stepson. There was always a hidden agenda with that woman; he should've known that by now.

"Derek, I've read up on this place, and it's actually a really great place for him to-"

"You researched this place?" he yelled, finding this whole situation to be more and more frustrating by the second. "You went behind my back, and started planning to send my kid away from me, before you'd even asked me?"

Her silence told him everything he needed to know, and she bowed her head shamefully, blushing slightly as she allowed him to take in her silence, reading the correct answer from it. That had definitely been what she had been doing, and she knew there was no sense in denying it right to his face when he already knew the truth.

He shook his head, grabbing his car keys off the coffee table as he snatched his jacket up off the couch, his eyes filled with disgust and anger as he backed away from her.

"I can't believe you'd do that," he got out, absolutely revolted by this. "I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but you have absolutely _no say_ in Justin's life, and how he will be raised. I'm his father, and Casey is his mother, and the two of us together make decisions about what's best for him. We don't need some third wheel coming into things and trying to pan him off on someone else. We're the ones who love him, despite his disability. He doesn't need people who are ashamed of him."

As he backed towards the door, she took one step towards him, before stopping, knowing that it was useless to try and follow him; it wasn't like he would stop. Her eyes were sad and her face grim as she shook her head at him, her lip turned downwards into a slight frown.

"Derek," she said, her voice slightly shaky from the nervousness coursing through her body. "Derek, wait a second..."

But he shook his head, pulling the front door of his apartment open as he gave her one final glare, unsure of why he even stuck with her, sometimes.

"Forget it; I'm out of here," he said, his voice low and angry. "And here's a little piece of information for you. If Justin and Casey aren't at that wedding, there isn't going to be a wedding, so I seriously suggest that you reconsider how much your overinflated pride means to you, before it costs you your wedding."

Without another word, he had stormed out, slamming the door behind him. And as he walked briskly down the hall, all that he was thinking was that he hoped to God that Casey was back from taking Justin to speech therapy, because he really needed someone to talk to.

- - - -

"So wait a second," Casey said, as she let her arm come to a rest on the back of the couch casually. "You're telling me that Vanessa is so jealous that she doesn't even want me and Justin to go to the wedding? She's that set on hating me, that she can't even let us come into the same building, on her special day?"

Derek nodded, rolling his eyes at his fiancee's actions as he watched Justin roll a dinky back and forth on the floor, making little motor noises as he moved it along with his forefinger and his thumb. The little car had been keeping him perfectly content for the past half an hour or so, and Derek hoped that it would continue to do so while he finished his little chat with Casey. He had told her all about Vanessa, and she definitely wasn't all that fond of what Derek's fiancee was attempting to do.

He hadn't even told her about the institution that Vanessa had wanted to send Justin too, and he'd left out the part about Vanessa thinking Justin would ruin the wedding, because of his autism. He rather felt that Casey would be upset by both of these things, especially the first one, though he suspected that Casey was pretty aware of Vanessa's real reasoning behind not wanting the boy at the wedding. It was one of the more obvious reasons, if you were to try and think like Vanessa would, but he was grateful that she was choosing not to mention it. He didn't want to go into detail, on that one.

"She said that me and you spend too much time together, basically," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "She thinks it's awkward, and she says that she hates you, and you hate her, and it's not going to change."

Casey shrugged, a look of agreement in her eyes as he nodded her head, as though she completely agreed with what he was saying.

"That's probably true, but if she doesn't want me at the wedding, I don't have to be there," she noted, and he felt his face fall as she went on, sounding distant. "I mean, if all it's going to do is cause trouble for you guys... I don't want to be the source of any fighting, especially not this close to the big day. I mean... if it's for the best."

"No way," he said immediately, shaking his head urgently. He felt panic rising in his throat, and he had no idea why. All he knew was that he wanted Casey and Justin at that wedding, no matter what. He had no idea why having Casey there was so important. Justin, he could understand, but Casey...

It just didn't make sense. But he did know that he wanted it, so he found himself fighting to make sure that she would not give up that easily, because of Vanessa's selfishness.

"You're going to that wedding, Casey," he said, his voice set and determined as he fixed his eyes with hers, obviously very concentrated. "I don't care what Vanessa says; she's just being selfish, right about now. You're both going, and I want Justin to be ring bearer."

Her eyes widened as confusion and surprise swept over her features. She gave him an uncertain look as she straightened up, voicing her concerns.

"Derek, are you sure about that?" she asked, and he didn't even have to think about it; he knew his answer without a doubt.

"Of course," was all he said, shrugging his shoulders. His eyes wandered over to Justin, and he smirked, pushing himself up off of the couch. "In fact, I think I need to borrow this little guy right here for a few hours. The wedding is in three weeks, and my little buddy here is going to need a suit."

Justin frowned slightly when Derek lifted him up onto his feet, and the dinky was abandoned on the ground. Derek heard Justin begin to grumble to himself, and he quickly bent down to retrieve the fallen toy. He pressed it against Justin's hand, and the little boy fell silent again as he leaned back against his father, his hand still resting in Derek's as Derek nodded towards Casey, grinning.

"We'll go shopping for your dress tomorrow, so I can tell you all the colours, and stuff," he said, backing up towards the door. "We'll be back soon, okay?"

She merely nodded, looking slightly lost, and without another word, the two Venturi boys were gone from the apartment, shopping-bound.

- - - -

Justin turned out to be a very amusing shopping partner. Derek had taken him to three stores now, and everytime that he saw one of the models for the suits or dresses, which were often headless, he would whimper, and hide behind Derek. Turns out, he was terrified of the things, and Derek had to refrain from laughing everytime they passed by one of the things, because Justin was just too cute, when he was like that. He wouldn't even think of coming out until they were well past the fashion display, and even then, he would cast cautious glances behind him, as though he was making sure the things weren't following him and his father.

Derek was glancing through a display of children's suits, trying to find a nice bold black one that would go nice against everything else in the wedding. He had seen the different colours that Vanessa had picked out, and he knew full well what he was looking for, in Justin's suit.

And speaking of Vanessa, she had called, during Derek's car ride over here. He had been tempted to ignore the call, but he knew that it was her job to be the immature one, so he had taken the call, responding in short little answers, and half-responses, not wanting to go into detail on anything with her. The conversation hadn't lasted long anyways. She had merely grumbled something about how she had thought everything through, and that if he wanted Justin and Casey to go to his wedding, he supposed they could come along. She sounded completely against the idea, and he knew that she was only agreeing because of his threat to call everything off, but he had merely stated that they had been going anyway, and that he had already invited him. To end the call, he had told her that he was shopping for a suit for his son, and that he had to go. She had sounded shocked that he had gone ahead without her permission, but he really didn't care, at this point.

"What do you think of this one, buddy?" he asked, frowning as he touched his fingers to a black suit with a white button up shirt underneath it. He was having alot of trouble finding a suit that he liked, but he knew that he had to hurry, since they had to get measurements done here today too. They had already been to three formalwear stores, and had found nothing. He had promised himself that this store would be their last stop for the day.

He looked down, wondering why Justin hadn't responded, and for one brief moment, he freaked out, noticing that Justin had disappeared. He probably would've gone into panic mode, if he didn't immediately catch sight of the little boy's bright red jacket and beige khacki pants, about ten feet away from him. Justin was standing up near the bridal section, and even the headless dummy couldn't keep him away from this display. His eyes were fixed upon a beautiful white wedding dress that was on the main display. It would obviously be for the bride, and Derek had no idea why it was suddenly attracting his son' attention, like that.

He frowned as he pulled his hand away from the suit he had been examining, and walked towards his son, crouching down next to him and placing a hand on Justin's shoulder. He looked into his little boy's eyes, and saw that Justin looked completely curious, right now. His eyes were wide, and his mouth was set into a little 'o' shape as he stared up at the dress with wonder.

"What is it, bud?" he asked, looking up at the dress, then back at his son. "You can't wear that, you know that... right?"

Justin looked towards Derek, another reminder that he was making amazing progress due to his diet change. Three weeks ago, he never would've turned his head hen spoken to, let alone respond. And besides that, he hadn't thrown a tantrum yet today.

Justin motioned towards the dress with his pointer finger, frowning slightly.

"For Mommy?"

Derek's eyes widened slightly, and he came to the sudden realization that Justin may have grasped the concept that his father was getting married, but he definitely didn't understand that he wasn't getting married to his mother. He could understand how the boy would be so confused; he did spend an awful lot of time around Casey, and they were really friendly towards one another. In a six year old's eyes, it probably seemed like these two were together, especially since they were his parents.

But he knew that he had to set Justin straight sometime or another, or else the boy would have a mild panic attack when he looked up at the altar, and realized that the woman in the wedding dress was not his mother. He wanted to set any confusion aside, to make this as easy as possible on all of them.

"No, bud," he said, sighing as he shook his head, moving in front of Justin as he remained crouched down, gripping the boys' shoulder. "It's not for Mommy. You see, Mommy isn't the bride, okay? I'm marrying someone else. Do you remember Vanessa?"

There was no response from Justin, and he was already letting his attention falter to one of the revolving displays out front, tuning his father out again. Derek knew that the best thing to do was just keep talking as though Justin was listening, so he sighed, continuing.

"I'm going to be marrying her, okay?" he said, and when Justin didn't look at him, he reached out, gently tilting his son's face towards him. Justin finaly looked him in the eye, and as Derek examined him, and realized that he probably didn't understand, he frowned, and found himself pulling Justin towards him in a tight hug. He closed his eyes, not caring that Justin didn't hug back, and he found his heart aching strangely as he sighed, speaking up against the side of his son's head.

"I promise you that no matter who I marry, it doesn't mean that your mother means any less to me," he said quietly, and when he pulled back, he saw that he had Justin's full attention, for once. "I still care very much about her, and about you. Nobody can ever change that, got it buddy?"

And as Justin nodded his head, Derek felt that he had truly understood that, and that he had really gotten through to him, that ime. There had just been something in his eyes that hinted towards complete and total understanding.

And he hoped that, if Justin were to only understand one thing for the rest of his life, it would be that. Because caring about Justin and Casey was the most important thing in his life, and he knew it always would be.

* * *

**I warn you that the next chapter is when everything really starts to spiral out of control, so please review, and I will update. **


	16. Siding with Vanessa

**I apologize for this chapter; I have alot of writers block right now, and I'm somewhat sick. This chapter just wouldn't flow right, and I had to force myself to finish it. But nonetheless, here it is. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Sixteen: Siding with Vanessa**

Ever since Derek was a little boy, he had always been able to go to his father with anything that was troubling him. If anyone was bugging him at school, his father would know what to do. If he was having girl troubles, his father would know what to do, even if Derek hadn't been as willing to share that sort of thing with him. Admittedly, over the years, Derek's eagerness to share with his father about his life had slowly evaporated, but George always managed to find out what was going on in his son's life, and usually in his mind as well.

And now, even as an adult, Derek knew that he could always find comfort and good advice from his father. The man was still just as willing to help as he always had been, and Derek knew that it would be no issue going to him with an issue this big. And yeah, this was probably one of the biggest issues that he had been faced with in a very long time. Usually he just came to his father with pettier problems, little things that he maybe could've solved by himself, with a bit of application to the problem. But this time, he knew that he definitely needed some outside help on this- a little bit of insight as to what he should do to fix his impending problem. It definitely wasn't going to get solved on it's own, that much was for sure.

Derek arrived back in London at around five o'clock that evening. He had no intentions of staying for too long, he just wanted to get a chance to talk to his father about his current situation, and see if he had any suggestions as to what should be done. As stubborn and clueless as George could be sometimes, he could often give good advice in the way of the heart, despite his usual incapability to do so.

"I just don't get it, Dad," he said, sighing as his father came back into the living room, a mug of hot chocolate clutched in each hand, respectively. George took a seat on the couch across from his son, sighing as he handed Derek one of the tall blue mugs. Derek took it in his own hand, letting it rest on his knee with the support of his hand; the liquid was too hot to drink, yet. He looked back up at his father, shaking his head as though he was completely lost.

"Why can't they all just like each other?" he asked, managing to mask his utter frustration quite well. "I mean, maybe Casey and Vanessa hating each other is justified. Casey is my ex-girlfriend, and I understand that there's probably some natural jealousy involved, for Vanessa. I _did_ tell her plenty of times before that Casey was the first girl I really loved, and maybe she just can't get her mind past that, I don't know. The least she could do is try and act mature around her, but I can move on from the fact that she doesn't. But for her to hold any resentment against my _son.._. that's just low, and then there's absolutely no need of it. Justin is six years old, he didn't do a damn thing wrong to deserve the cruel things he says about her."

George frowned, something like realization flickering across his features as he gave his son a curious look. It was obvious to Derek that his father had just thought of something, for he looked concerned and worried at the same time.

"Son, I really don't mean to accuse you of anything, and I could be completely wrong here," he started, as he fixed Derek with a curious stare. "But to me, it doesn't sound like you're torn between Vanessa and Justin. It sounds more to me like you're torn between Vanessa and _Casey_."

Derek stared at his father for a moment as he let the meaning of the words sink in. His father thought that his confusion was over who he really wanted to be with; was that what he was trying to hint at, here?

"Vanessa and Casey?" he repeated, as though it were the stupidest idea he had ever heard in his life. "Dad, what are you talking about? Of course it's not about Casey; it's got nothing to do with her. This is about Justin, okay? My loyalty is to Vanessa, and I love her, and... and..."

He trailed off, sighing as he ran a hand through his hair, knowing that his words didn't sound all that believeable.

"And I don't even believe myself," he decided, shrugging his shoulders as he looked back up at his father. "Okay, so maybe you're right. The past few weeks have been hell, trying to juggle my time between the two of them. I mean, they don't get along, and it's already awkward enough when we're all together. In the beginning I told myself that I wouldn't let my feelings for Vanessa get any weaker, just because Casey was around. I told myself that she was just a part of my past, and that I could fight whatever feelings came up. But it's becoming really clear that I can't, and I'm... I'm..."

He hesitated as he looked up at his father, who looked as though none of this was anything new to him. George looked as though he had expected this from the moment they had told Derek about his son. And when he thought about it, he realized that they probably had expected it. They knew that Derek had always had an incredible weakness for Casey, and they had probably suspected that he wouldn't be able to hold back his feelings for Casey, no matter how long they had been hidden.

He sighed as he decided to just come completely clean, and he shrugged his shoulders, not looking away from his father.

"I'm really starting to think I chose the wrong girl," he finished, feeling like the weight of the world had just been lifted off of his shoulders, by admitting that. "There, I said it, happy?"

George sighed, placing his mug down on the coffee table as he shook his head, folding his arms across his chest as he gave his son a concerned look. Derek could tell that his father was far from happy, though he didn't exactly seem to be angry. He just seemed like he was worried about what this was going to mean. Hell, Derek himself was worried about what this was going to mean. He had no idea where this was going.

"I wish I could say I was happy, but I'm not," George admitted, and Derek nodded, sitting back and waiting for his father to finish speaking. "I mean, I want you to be happy... and I'm glad that you're brave enough to admit that you've still got feelings for Casey, but you've made a promise to Vanessa. Your wedding is in three weeks, Derek. You proposed to her. She's spent thousands of dollars on this wedding, not to mention how long she spent planning it. You can't just go back on a promise like that. This is major, Derek. Not to mention the fact that it would be public slaughter to leave Vanessa for Casey. The media would never stop hounding you, and I really don't want to see you get attacked like that."

He saw the torn look on his son's face, and he softened, reaching out and placing a hand on Derek's shoulder, to show that he was there for him.

"Whatever you decide, I'm here for you," he said, making sure his son knew this. "I just want you to be happy, and whatever happens, you're my son. You can't help who you fall for, and if that means you end up with Casey... then that's how it's going to be. It's all about who makes you happy."

Derek frowned, lowering his gaze to the ground as he felt his stomach sink. He nodded his head sadly, well aware of everything his father was saying. He had known all of it all along, but to hear George saying it just confirmed what he had been denying to himself lately; he still had feelings for Casey, and it was wrong of him. But how could he help it if his old feelings had come back? He just couldn't help it. There had always been something about Casey that drew him to her. She was so beautiful, and she had the most amazing personality that Derek had ever encountered. She was a remarkable person, and he knew that he couldn't deny what he felt for her.

Derek wasn't even sure if there was a point to liking her; he didn't know how she felt, after all. She could just see him as a friend, and find the idea of getting back together to be completely out there, and ridiculous. All of this thinking and confusion could boil down to nothing, if she didn't feel anything in return.

But something told him that Casey still felt something, and he could only hope that his instincts were right.

Either way, he knew that he had alot of thinking to do.

- - - -

Back in Toronto, Casey was trying to get Justin to go to bed. It was nine o'clock, and she had let him stay up a little bit later tonight, to watch a Disney movie that had been playing on television. He had started it around seven thirty, and she hadn't had the heart to make him go to bed only a half an hour into it. He had seemed so interested in it, that she hadn't wanted to haul him away from it. He probably would've had a fit if she had, and besides, it wasn't like he was in school anymore. The school year had finished up a few short days before, and Justin was still hyped up from the very idea of summer vacation. She had decided to just let the spare energy wear off, instead of trying to channel it into something constructive. He had been doing so good in his speech therapy lately, and his teachers had noted alot of improvement since the diet change. Casey had to wonder whether or not his father coming into his life had anything to do with his recent improvement. She knew that she could mainly attribute this change to his change in dietary intake, but she had a feeling that Derek coming into the picture had really helped Justin's progress. It was easy to see that having his father around made Justin happy, and having a male influence in his life was definitely a good thing anyway.

Justin was still watching his movie when there was a knock on the front door, followed by silence. Casey turned her head towards the door, frowning slightly, but Justin didn't appear to have noticed anything. Casey was unsure of who could possibly be visiting her this late, since she was pretty sure that Derek had mentioned going to see their parents for a couple of hours. He couldn't be finished that quickly, and besides, he said he wouldn't be back tonight.

But the knock sounded again, and this time she sighed, pushing herself up off of the couch. Sitting there cluelessly wouldn't help her in the slightest, so she figured that she would just have to answer the door, and see who it was.

Right before she opened the door, she straightened up her shirt, and ran a hand quickly through her hair, so it fell down around her shoulders, against the material of her black plain t-shirt. When she figured she looked half presentable, she put on a tiny smile, grasping the doorknob and pulling the door open.

Her stomach sank when she saw Vanessa standing there, arms folded across her chest, an unhappy look on her face. It was obvious that she wasn't pleased, and Casey had to admit that this visit wasn't really on her list of favourites, either. She hated Vanessa, and she knew that the feeling was mutual. She couldn't help but wonder what Vanessa was doing here.

Trying to act somewhat civil, she bit her lip, folding her arms as she leaned against the front door, fixing Vanesa with a curious stare.

"Vanessa," she said, trying to keep any bitterness from her voice. "What are you doing here? Derek's not here, you know that, right?"

Vanessa fixed her eyes on her enemy, bitterness and evil hidden on the surface of her gaze. Casey could tell immediately that the woman was going to make no attempts to be friendly, for she gave Casey a dirty sneer, glaring as she shook her head, stepping right into the apartment uninvited. Casey raised her eyebrows as she stared out into the hall for a moment, before she turned, closing the door behind her.

She re-folded her arms so that they were across her chest, and she gave Vanessa a curious look.

"Yeah, come right on inside," she said sarcastically, but when Vanessa merely stared at her, she sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "Fine, I give. What do you want?"

There was no holding back, and no beating around the bush, with this woman. She fixed Casey with the most hateful of glares she could possibly summon up, before cutting right to the chase.

"I want you to stay away from Derek," she said, her voice determined and cruel. "I'm going to be marrying him in a couple of weeks, and that means that I'm going to be the main girl in his life. I won't put up with having his attention focused on some chick that broke his heart like... ten years ago."

"Seven," Casey said quietly, but Vanessa didn't appear to have heard her, for she went on without a care in the world.

"The point of me coming here tonight is that I wanted to talk to you while I knew Derek wasn't going to show up," she said, her eyes fixed on Casey's with anger. "He's out of town, so it seemed like the prime opportunity to come and talk to you, since Derek would kill me if he knew I came to tell you all of this."

Casey frowned, unable to say anything as Vanessa kept on going, showing absolutely no signs of shutting up anytime soon.

"I don't want you to come near Derek anymore," she said, her voice blatantly clear as she narrowed her eyes at her, taking one step closer to her enemy. "He's my boyfriend, and in three weeks, he'll be my husband. And truth be told, I'm not exactly comfortable with some filthy slut hanging around my husband. So you can just back off, and take your little pity party somewhere else, because I for one don't intend on putting up with you for much longer."

Casey had so much she could have said in her own defense, or against Vanessa, but she knew that she had to try and keep her cool. She always had to keep her cool, because she was always in the presence of her son. And although Justin wasn't really paying attention to what was happening, he would definitely notice if his mother started freaking out at his father's girlfriend. She knew she would just have to suck it up, and try to express her total and utter resentment through calmer, and more rational words.

She narrowed her eyes at Vanessa, keeping her arms crossed as she took a step towards the woman, her gaze menacing.

"What happens between me and Derek is none of your business," she said coldly, shaking her head. "He's a good friend to me, and he also happens to be the father of my child. There's nothing else going on between the two of us, and there's really no reason for you to be making that sort of call. Sure, maybe you're about to become Derek's wife, and yeah, I'll even give you the fact that you probably deserve more time with him than I do. But nothing, and I repeat _nothing_, gives you the right to waltz in here, and decide that I can't be friends with Derek anymore. He has a son who he cares about very much, and that's pretty much the only reason he comes over here anyways, so I don't know what you're getting so worked up over."

Casey expected Vanessa to jump right to the defense, and start cursing at her again, but to her surprise, the woman fell silent at Casey's words. Casey watched her intently as her opponent thought hard for a moment, before shaking her head. Her eyes fell into a gaze of pure amusement, but her lips took on a tiny little smirk as she gave a cold and amused laugh, as though she didn't believe a word that Casey was telling her.

"Why don't you just give it up?" she asked, as though she had just foiled some invisible plan of Casey's. "You and I both know that the only reason you want Derek around is so that you can try and take him from me. He was yours once, and you were stupid enough to let him go. And now you've seen how successful his life is; you've had a taste of the good life, and you suddenly want him back. Well let me tell you something, missy; Derek's mine. I've got him now, and no matter how much you whine and complain, and act completely innocent in all of this, he's not going to be yours again. And I know that's the only reason you're doing all of this, even if my idiot of a fiance is too blinded by stupidity to see it."

Casey shook her head urgently, confusion and panic written all over her face.

"That's not true," she started, but Vanessa cut her off almost immediately.

"You can say whatever you like, but I know it's the truth," she said, shaking her head at Casey. She hesitated, and a realization flickered across her face as she nodded towards the little boy, looking accusatory. "I bet that's not even Derek's son, is it? You're probably just telling him that, because you want the money, and you want Derek."

Casey was shaking her head to disarm this theory, but Vanessa took no notice as she kept on ranting, apparantly thinking she was nothing short of a pure genius for thinking this little theory up. She had no idea how wrong she was, of course, but when this girl got something in her head, it stuck. That had always been one of her weaker points, in arguments. And for anyone to think that Justin wasn't Derek's son, despite the obvious similarities between the two of them... they'd be crazy. There had never been doubt in Derek's mind that Justin was his son, and Casey knew that. Even a complete stranger could've looked at the two of them, and decided that they were somehow related.

"I bet you don't even know who the real father is," Vanessa continued, as though she was just making up this little theory as she spoke. "It's just unbelieveable to me that you wouldn't have contacted Derek for seven years to let him know that you had his child, and the second you run into him again, and see what a good life he's living, you're suddenly back in his life. It doesn't add up. The only thing adding up to me is that you want money, and Derek is too nice of a guy to even stop and think that you could be lying to him."

Casey shook her head, a cruel smile forming on her lips as she nodded towards Vanessa, finding the words she had just spoken to be fairly hypocritical.

"That's really rich, coming from someone who's only getting into this marriage for money," Casey accused, knowing that she was probably right. "And don't shake your head at me like that, because I know it's the truth. You don't love Derek, you just love the fact that sleeping with someone who's practically your boss has it's benefits. I bet it was no coincidence that you wound up on the top of the charts so quickly. You probably ensured that Derek made it that way. I don't know what you did, but I'm sure you wormed your way into more publicity than anyone else at that company. So for you to turn around and tell me that I'm just looking for money from Derek is really low, because that's exactly what you're doing. Don't pin something like that on me, because you couldn't be more wrong. Unlike you, I actually care about Derek, a whole lot actually. So mark my words, if you're getting into this marriage, don't you dare do anything that will hurt him."

Vanessa shook her head, shrugging her shoulders carelessly as she let Casey verbally attack her. Casey had to wonder if there was a sudden lack of defense because what she had just said was true, and Vanessa didn't really love her fiance. She sort ogf hoped that wasn't true, since she knew that would absolutely kill Derek, but a smaller, more selfish part of her was almost hoping for Vanessa to admit to only wanting Derek for his money, so that maybe Derek would leave her. Casey wasn't sure if she could put up with the girl for much longer. Vanessa was like a walking and talking nightmare.

Before Vanessa could respond to any of Casey's accusations, Casey noticed that the ending credits were now appearing on the television screen, signalling that Justin's movie was over. There were bloopers rolling on a little box on the side, so she figured he'd be occupied for another few moments, but she wanted Vanessa out. She had a son to take care of, and she had no intentions on arguing with Vanessa with Justin around. He didn't need to put up with watching his mother argue with some woman who couldn't mind her own business.

Casey nodded towards the door, unfolding her arms as she prepared herself to put up another good fight, to get the woman to leave.

"Get out of my apartment," she said, her voice bitter. "I've got a son to take care of, and quite frankly, his needs are higher up on my priority list than arguing with you. So I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Vanessa snorted, taking a step towards Casey as she shook her head, obviously not willing to leave on command, like Casey had wanted her to.

"No," she said firmly, causing Casey's stomach to drop. "I'm not leaving until you've made it quite clear to me that you're going to stay away from my finace."

Casey laughed bitterly, shaking her head as Vanessa took the final step between them, so that they were face to face. She could see the hatred reflected in Vanessa's eyes, and she was almost certain that this look was displayed very vividly in her own gaze, right about now. They hated each other, but it went even deeper than that. It was a burning sort of hatred, the kind that had been created naturally between the two girls, before they had even met. Their connection to Derek kept them from having any chance of getting along, and they both knew that they would never see eye to eye. They had tried, for Derek's sake, but it wasn't going to work. No matter how much they tried to convince themselves that everything would work itself out, it was obvious that that wasn't going to happen. They both wanted to be in Derek's life, but it was becoming quite clear that that could never happen. There was only going to be room for one of them in his life, and despite how strong Casey appeared to be, even she felt like Derek wouldn't sacrifice his relationship with the girl he loved, for his ex-girlfriend.

Jusin's attention was starting to falter from the television screen, and the sight of him squirming in his chair brought Casey back to Earth as she nodded towards the door once more, her eyes determined.

"Leave," Casey said, her voice serious and firm. "You have no right to be here, and you certainly have no right to tell me what to do with my life. If I want to be friends with Derek, I will be. And if he wants to be involved in his child's life, he can be involved. That shouldn't be an issue for you. Justin has nothing to do with you."

When Vanessa remained quiet, and didn't move from her spot in front of Casey, it became quite obvious that she had no real intentions on leaving. She knew that by staying here, she was both annoying Casey, and ensuring that her point was well-proven, and obvious.

But Casey wasn't going to put up with some annoying woman sticking around her apartment uninvited, claiming that she was no longer allowed to share a bond with someone who was actually a very important person in her life. Who was Vanessa, to think that she had that sort of power? She had no say in Casey's life, and she definitely didn't have any sort of right to claim that Derek couldn't even spend time with his son, anymore. Justin and Derek had an amazing bond, and that was something that Casey knew she couldn't take away from them. She wasn't going to let some bossy, know it all superstar come along and ruin everything that they'd worked so hard to achieve, over the past month or two.

She sighed, and in an instant, she had moved to walk towards the door, in hopes that if she made herself clear enough, Vanessa may just give up and leave. She highly doubted it, but it was a possibility.

The moment she had pushed herself away from the wall, she saw anger flicker through Vanessa's eyes, obviously because of the fact that Casey was not allowing her to have the power that she had been looking for. It was easy to see that she was used to having power in all aspects of her life, and that having trouble controlling someone was something that she hadn't anticipated.

Casey had only taken two steps towards the front door, when she felt Vanessa's smaller hand clamp down on her wrist, and haul her back. She let out a tiny gasp of surprise, for she had not expected this, and before she could even react, Vanessa had let go of her wrist, and had placed a hand on both of Casey's shoulders. She didn't get a chance to say anything, before she felt herself being shoved hard against the wall. She felt her head hit the hard material of the wall behind her, and she cringed as she allowed her eyes to flutter closed in pain. She felt herself growing dizzy, but she managed to open her eyes as she felt Vanessa take a step towards her, letting go of her completely. Her vision was blurred slightly for a moment as she struggled to regain some composure, and the back of her head was throbbing, but she wouldn't raise her hand to feel for any damage- not with Vanessa watching.

She caught sight of Vanessa's glare, menacing and proud, as she examined the speechless Casey in front of her. Casey vaguely realized that Justin was crying, probably having seen his mother get shoved against the wall, and she knew that he was scared. She wasn't scared of Vanessa, but she knew that as a six year old boy, seeing anyone hurt his mother must be hard on Justin. He probably wouldn't have cried if the pain wasn't obvious on her face, but she had a feeling that Justin knew she was hurting.

She turned her gaze back to Vanessa, ignoring her son for a moment as she remembered that the most important thing was getting the girl out of the apartment, and away from Justin, especially if she had a violent streak. She wasn't going to allow Justin to fall under any line of danger, not on her life.

"Let's get one thing straight, Casey," she said, as Justin's crying got louder. "You stay away from Derek. You tell him you no longer want anything to do with him, and then I never want to hear from you again. Don't call him, don't email him, don't text him... and if I happen to find out that you went against me, there will be hell to pay. Derek's mine, and no whore from his past is gonna take him from me. Got it?"

Casey wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to fight back, with all her heart, she really did. She wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug little smirk right off of Vanessa's face. If Justin wasn't in the room, she'd be matching Vanessa's evil with cruel words of her own. But fact remained that Justin was in the room, and she never wanted to act like a monster in front of her son, to anyone. She wasn't about to expose herself as a bad person in front of Justin, if there were the slightest chance that she'd scare him. Her son was way more important than her dignity.

But Vanessa apparantly didn't give a damn about scaring the boy, because as soon as she had stopped talking, she turned her head, glaring at the crying boy across the room. Casey too, turned her head to look at her son, who was kneeling on an armchair, his eyes scared as he stared over at his mother. Casey wanted to go over and comfort him, to tell him it was okay, that _she _was okay, but she knew that if she moved, Vanessa would just shove her again, and cause Justin to cry even harder.

Vanessa apparantly didn't have the patience that Casey had, because a moment later, she had let out a wild cry of frustration, running a hand through her hair angrily.

"Can you shut your damn kid up?" she yelled at Casey, her eyes fixed on the boy. "I know he's a freak, but does he have to show it to the world?"

Casey's eyes glazed over with absolute hatred, and when Justin didn't stop crying, she saw Vanessa take a step away from Casey, and towards the chair where Justin was kneeling. Casey's vision was still slightly blurred, and she wasn't even thinking straight as she realized what Vanessa was about to do. She heard the woman muttering something about the 'damn crying', and before she even recognized what she was doing, she felt her own hand circling Vanessa's wrist, and hauling her backwards. Vanessa let out a tiny gasp of surprise, which Casey didn't notice as she dropped the woman's wrist, breathing hard. Their gazes had only locked for a moment, before Casey felt her own hand coming into contact with Vanessa's face, as she slapped her hard. She heard the sound of the contact ring through the air around them, a sickening reminder that she had lost it, she had let loose and let her anger get the better of her. She only hoped that Justin had known that his mother's actions had been to protect him.

Vanessa was staring at Casey, a shocked look in her eyes as her jaw dropped slightly, her cheek already turning red from Casey's slap. It was so obvious that she hadn't expected Casey to physically fight back, that she hadn't seen the woman as that sort of person. She had thought that Casey would just sit there and take the abuse- allow Vanessa to have every bit of power that she wanted.

She had never been so wrong.

Casey's eyes narrowed, and she shook her head as she struggled to breathe properly, her anger affecting her ability to even function properly.

"You get out of this apartment right _now_," she sneered, her voice shaking with anger as the sense of control began to shift between the two of them, balancing out slightly. "It's one thing to come in here and start making demands that you have absolutely no right to be making, but coming in here and putting down my son is way outside your boundries. And I can tell you right now, if you so much as lay a finger on that little boy, you will _pay_. I will personally make sure that you _live to regret it_. Nobody hurts that little boy and gets away with it- you got it? So you can just _back off_ and stay away from him."

Vanessa stared at her for a moment, barely even blinking as she tried to act like Casey's actions hadn't affected her in the slightest. If Casey knew anything at all about this girl, it was that she liked to be in control, and that she was used to other people fighting her battles for her. If she somehow dragged herself into some stupid catfight, she always had her manager to stick up for her. The girl had a bodygaurd that followed her around half the time. She had Derek to watch for any stories that may bash her otherwise flawless reputation. She was used to being able to get involved in something, and have someone else finish it for her. But right now, there were no bodygaurds. Brian wasn't around, and Derek obviously couldn't help her out of this one. It was just Casey, Vanessa, and a crying six year old boy. And she most certainly hadn't expected Casey to have any form of a backbone, and retaliate.

But it only took her a few moments to bounce back, and within a moment she had slapped Casey back, though not nearly half as hard as Casey had slapped. Casey could only suppose that this was because she herself had been given an advantage, of sorts. She had hit Vanessa to protect her six year old son, who they both knew couldn't defend himself. Casey had seen the menacing and evil look in Vanessa's eyes as she walked towards the crying child, and she knew full well that Vanessa was completely capable of hitting Justin. And if she hadn't of stopped her, that was exactly what would've happened, and the both of them knew it.

Casey's cheek was stinging, and Justin was still crying, but Casey didn't so much as flinch as she kept her gaze locked with her enemy's, never backing down. Her hands remained by her side as she glared into the eyes of someone who she now realized that she hated more than she had ever hated anyone in the world.

Vanessa smirked as she shook her head at the woman, laughing coldly.

"You're new to all of this, so I'll fill you in on a little hint, _missy_," she snarled, her every word laced with so much hatred that it practically shone off of her. "You don't mess with someone who has the power to turn the whole world against yoy. And just a little note, weakling, I _do_ hold that power, along with the power to make you regret the day you messed with Vanessa Williams. So, mark my words, you touch me again, I won't be nearly as forgiving."

Casey laughed bitterly, shaking her head as she straightened up a bit, trying to keep her voice firm and confident, even if she felt like she was getting in way too deep here.

"Do you honestly think I'm scared of you?" she asked, sounding amused. "Because I'm really not. I've dealt with more than the likes of you in my lifetime. I think I can handle whatever you're willin to throw at me."

Vanessa shrugged her shoulders, raising an eyebrow as the smirk remained untouched, still lingering on her lips lightly as though she were trying to prove a point.

"We'll see about that," was all she said, and before either girl could say anything else, the front door opened up, and Casey felt her heart clench as Derek walked through the door, looking tired and somewhat thoughtful. He looked like he had alot on his mind, but whatever it was seemed to disappear the moment he caught sight of Casey and Vanessa standing before him, neither one looking very happy. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the way Casey was pressed against the wall, and Vanessa was up in her face, obviously yelling at her. He saw Justin, kneeling on the armchair across the room, his eyes wide with horror, and his cries diminished into sniffles and shameless whimpering.

And then he realized that both of the women were looking at him, eyes wide, but both filled with a different emotion. Casey's eyes were almost pleading, as though she desperately wanted him to take her side on this, for once, but Vanessa's eyes were merely panicked for a moment, before she backed away from Casey, shaking her head as she put on her best pout.

"Come on, Derek," she said, grabbing onto his arm as she backed up until she was standing right beside her fiance. "Let's get going. I'd prefer not to be here anymore."

Derek shook his head as Casey kept her gaze locked with Derek's, wanting to see if she could win for once. Derek cared about her, she knew that he did. He had told her time and time again that he still cared. If he saw how upset she was, if he saw that she needed him... would he realize what a horrible person he was marrying? Would he side with her for once, and realize that Casey was right in hating Vanessa? Or would he side with his fiancee, and not look back twice at Casey.

"What's going on here?" he asked, as he tore his gaze away from Casey's to look back and forth between the two women. "Casey... why is your face all swollen and... dammit, Vanessa yours is too. What did you guys do to each other? Why is Justin crying? What happened since I went to visit my Dad?"

Casey opened her mouth to respond, but before she could get a word in, the other woman had spoken up, her voice annoyingly high-pitched, and searching for pity.

"Your ex-girlfriend here is violent and moody, that's what happened," she said, clutching onto his arm a little bit tighter, as though she was scared. "I came by to apologize to her for all of the drama I've caused, and for all of the tension that there has been between us. I told her that I wanted to be able to get along with her, and she just hit me. So if you don't mind, I'd like to get going home now. I tried getting along with her like you asked, and it didn't work. At least now you know who is really responsible for all of the drama between me and Casey."

"Casey, is that true?"

Derek's eyes were on Casey's the whole time, and her eyes were filling with tears as she tried not to cry in front of Vanessa. She wasn't going to win this battle, and she knew it. Derek was going to believe Vanessa, and he was going to marry Vanessa. She was going to get away with what she had just done, because she was Vanessa Williams. She'd snagged Derek before Casey had the chance to do so again, and now she was going to lie until Derek never wanted to see her again.

And as Casey heard Justin's tiny whimpers from across the room, she came to a startling realization. Vanessa had almost hit her son. Vanessa _would_ have hit her son, if she hadn't of stopped her. She had shown absolutely no hesitance, and it had really meant nothing to her, to know that she was making that little boy cry. This was the woman who would soon be Justin's stepmother. Justin would probably have to be around her for the rest of his life, once Derek married Vanessa. And Casey couldn't control what happned when she wasn't around, when Justin went to his father's house. Vanessa hadn't lived there up until now, but she would be soon, and it killed Casey to think of what she may do to Justin if she was ever left alone with him.

And as much as she cared about Derek, as much as she wanted him in her life, and as much good as she was doing Justin, she knew that she couldn't get someone like Vanessa involved in her son's life. It would do him way more harm than it would good, and she knew that it would only be a matter of time until he got hurt. She wasn't going to subject her little boy to something like that.

So she took a deep breath, trying her hardest to fight back her tears. One slipped out anyways, and she took a step forwards, shaking her head.

She knew what she had to do.

"Get out," she said, her eyes on Derek as she moved past the two of them, opening the door. They both stood stock still as hurt flashed through Derek's eyes, and he went into automatic panic mode, his jaw dropping slightly.

"Casey," he said, his voice wavering with panic as he shook his head at her, obviously hurting. "Casey, come on."

"Get _out_," she repeated, yelling now. Her salty tears mixed with her anger as she cursed under her breath, motioning for the door. "Dammit, don't you get it? I don't want you here anymore- either of you. So get out of this apartment, and stay out. I never want to see you here again."

Vanessa shrugged, a triumphant smirk on her lips as she realized that she had gotten what she wanted. She murmered something about how this was 'fine by her', before moving quickly towards the door, dragging Derek behind her. He only managed to stop when he was already in the doorway, and his eyes were locked with Casey's as he shook his head, something hidden in his eyes as he looked at her. She knew that he wanted the whole truth, and she knew that he cared. His attention wasn't even focused on his upset fiance; he was one hundred percent devoted to getting the truth out of Casey, but she knew that she couldn't tell him the truth. She didn't want Vanessa in Justin's life, and that meant she was going to have to sacrifice Derek. She had lived without him for seven years, hadn't she? Why couldn't she do it again?

"Case, please talk to me," he begged, his face filled with obvious pain and frustration as he pleaded with her to reconsider. This made no sense to him; he hadn't done anything wrong. Everything had been fine only hours before. What had gone wrong?

But Casey only shook her head, wiping her tears on her sleeve as she gave him the final shove through the door, shaking her head.

"Stay out of my life."

And the last thing Derek saw before she slammed and locked the door was her hurt eyes. He recognized the longing look that she had fixed him with, and he somehow knew that she didn't want this; she had wanted to talk to him. Something had happened since he left; Vanessa was lying about it, and Casey just wasn't going to tell him.

But the moment he turned away from the door, was the moment he regretted ever siding with Vanessa.

* * *

**So I think the next chapter will flow better. Anyways, review and I'll update. **


	17. The Winner

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Seventeen: The Winner**

That night, Derek had a dream that he hadn't had in nearly six years now. It had plagued him once before, back when he was just finishing high school, right after him and Casey had broken up. He had dreamt of her every single night for the first few months. In the dream, she was always leaving him, and telling him that it just had to be this way. Sometimes she was running, and she would be so close to him. He'd call out, but would receive no answer. He would reach for her, but would always fall short in the end. He'd be panicking in these dreams, because he always had to get through to her, and tell her that he needed her to stay, that he couldn't lose her... but she would never turn around, and he would always wake up with a feeling of dread in his stomach. He had dreaded nightfall for those few months, because he wouldn't want to go back to that scary place. He knew he was a coward, but the dreams just made the pain seem more real. It reopened wounds that had started to heal once Casey got on the plane to go to California.

After the first few months without her, the dreams had become less and less frequent. He would have it once a week, eventually, and then once or twice a month. Finally, they had stopped altogether. He had realized one night, about a year and a half after she had broken up with him, that he hadn't dreamt of her in a long time. He had been happy, he supposed, for he knew it was the first step to moving on from her. He'd never fully moved on, of course, but the end of the nightmares had been something that he had definitely been grateful for.

But that night, he had the same dream. He was trying to talk to her, and tell her that he needed her in his life, but she just wouldn't let him. This time was different than the other times, though. In this version of the dream, he saw the occasional flash of Justin's face, the occasional whisper of the little boy's voice, asking where his father was, and why he had left him. He supposed that this reflected his own worries from the night before, because that was all that was on his mind. How was Justin going to react when he just stopped showing up? He loved the kid, he really did, and he knew that Justin was thrilled to finally have someone to call Daddy. And Casey had been the one that had put so much emphasis on making sure that Derek was really going to stay in the kid's life. Why was she suddenly changing her mind? It didn't make any sense whatsoever to him, and no matter how much he had pressed Vanessa on the matter the night before, all she would tell him was that it had nothing to do with him, and that Casey was just a violent bitch.

But Derek didn't believe that. Casey had never been violent before; she hated violence. Sure, he knew that she would fight back, if she had been threatened. But she was never one to throw the first punch without solid reasoning behind it. She was a thinker, and she always thought of the consequences. And Derek also knew that she had been the only one attempting to make things cool between her and Vanessa. His fiancee had been bitter right from the start, but Casey had tried, and he had always respected her for that. It seemed completely off that she would suddenly turn against someone who wanted to make peace. She wouldn't do that, and he knew her well enough to know that.

Nothing was adding up, but he intended on getting some answers.

He woke up that morning to the sound of the phone ringing right next to him. It was on the fourth ring by the time he realized that it was the phone. He didn't really want to wake up, despite his nightmares. He was tired, and the light from the bedroom was way too bright for his liking. Instead, he scrunched up his face, letting out a groan of frustration as he pulled the blanket up over his face, obviously trying to shield himself from both noise and light.

But when the phone rang for the seventh time, he cursed under his breath, and threw the blanket off of him, grumbling to himself as he squinted, not used to the light. He didn't get up; he merely grabbed the cordless phone off of the endtable next to him, pressing the on button quickly. He pressed one hand against his face as he grumbled out a hello, not even paying attention to what was going on.

He wasn't prepared for what he was met with.

"How could you?"

His eyes opened up then, and Derek's heart clenched as he recognized Casey's voice coming over the other end of the phone, sounding hurt and betrayed. The sadness she was feeling was hidden away, masked behind her stronger front, and he knew she was hurting. He wanted nothing more than to be there for her, but he knew that he needed to get this sorted out first.

"How could I what, Casey?" he mumbled, still struggling to stay awake. "I haven't done anything, have I? I've been asleep since I got home last night."

"Have you read the paper yet today?" she bit out, her voice cold as she tried to keep it steady. "Because if you haven't, I highly suggest you do so."

Derek hesitated, and he felt a feeling of dread settle into his stomach as he realized what this probably meant. Something bad had happened, and he had a feeling that Vanessa was going to be behind it, somehow. Everything was going to lead back to her in the end, and he knew that full well.

Sighing, he pulled himself up out of bed, feeling the warmth of his blankets disappearing instantly. He wanted nothing more than to crawl back into that bed, and go to sleep, where he didn't have to put up with this, but he knew that dealing with Casey's problems were more important, and that he could sleep later, if he needed to.

"Hold on a second," he said, and without another word, he made his way out to the front door of his apartment, placing the phone down on the kitchen table. He swung his front door open, and reached down to grab the newspaper off the floor in front of his doorway. The little boy downstairs delivered the papers to the apartments daily, which Derek appreciated. Before they had found someone in the building to do it, they had had to make trips downstairs to get their papers from the front porch. Sometimes there would be no papers left, at that point.

He sighed, and as he picked up the newspaper in his hands, he felt his heart drop. There on the front page of the paper, was a picture. Actually, it was two pictures, divided by a single white line. On one half was a picture of Vanessa, and on the other was a snap of Casey, Derek and Justin, one that had been taken as they had made their exit from the Sony BMG dinner party. He had seen this picture plastered over papers for days after the dinner, but it hd disappeared from the media for a few weeks now.

But right above the picture was a headline, and Derek immediately knew why Casey was so angry. He'd be pretty mad too, if this were the other way around.

_'Mother of Venturi's child attacks popstar Vanessa Williams," _it read, in huge bold letters that were splashed across the front page. He felt his heart stop for a moment, but continued to read the story. It wasn't too long, but it was obvious that it was going to attract alot of attention, considering the fact that it mentioned both Derek and Vanessa, both big people in the music industry.

_- - _

_'Last month, we reported that Derek Venturi, executive for Sony BMG and fiance of singing sensation Vanessa Williams, has been hiding a child from the world for the past several years. His recently discovered son, Justin Venturi, age six, is autistic, and lives with his mother- a secretary for Preston Law Firm of downtown Toronto. Several sources cite that Venturi had not spoken with his ex in years, but the two of them have been spotted together on numerous occasions throughout the past two months, since they reunited. _

_Ms. Williams (soon to be Venturi) had a chance to sit down and speak with us late last night, and she told us all about the alleged attack. _

_"I was just trying to make things right with her," Williams said in an interview yesterday. "There was obvious tension between us, there's no denying that. But I wanted to make things a little bit more comfortable between us. I tried apologizing, and she just started yelling at me and hitting me."_

_Williams claims that Casey McDonald, the mother of the child, hit her several times across the face, with her autistic child in plain view of the assault. _

_  
"I feel sort of bad for her," Williams told us during her interview. "She has a problem with controlling her anger, and I'm worried that it's going to start taking it's toll on her son. I overheard my finace talking with her one night on the phone, about how the boy had pushed down another child at the park, when he was asked to share. His mother's habits are obviously rubbing off on him, and he's such a sweet boy; I'd hate to see him go down the wrong path." _

_We were unable to contact either Mr. Venturi or Ms. McDonald for questioning, but we will continue to follow this story as we learn more on the matter. _

_"I don't intend on pressing charges," Williams told us, as she finished up her interview. "She's misguided, and a little confused, but I highly suggest she seek help. Her son was scared last night, and he was crying. He requires constant attention, and special care. I just hope that her anger doesn't get the better of her one day, if he becomes too much. My only concern is on my future stepson." _

_- -_

Derek let the paper fall to the table with disgust as he shook his head, feeling anger bubble up inside of him. Casey had _attacked_ Vanessa? Hardly. If he recalled correctly, Casey had been sporting a pretty red cheek herself, the night before. Sure, Casey had probably hit Vanessa, but by the looks of it it was only one time. There was no way that she had hit her more than that. And he still didn't believe a word of what Vanessa had told him the night before; it just didn't add up. Casey didn't resort to violence unless someone attacked her first, and he knew that all too well. He knew there was more to this story than Vanessa was letting on, and he had a feeling that the blame was being shoved on the wrong person.

He hesitantly picked up the phone again, pressing one hand against his forehead as he closed his eyes, thinking hard.

"Casey," he said slowly, unsure of what he could say to her. "Hey, I swear I never had anything to do with this. This is the first I've heard of it. I really-"

"I don't care who did what," she snapped, obviously upset. "There's media swarming my house, there's people calling me and threatening me... I guess everyone's eager to side with world famous Vanessa, right? Including you."

Derek felt his heart clench as he realized that she thought he wasn't at all on her side here. That couldn't be further from the truth; he wanted her to know that she wasn't alone in all of this. She had somebody to count on, and that was him. He would never let her down like that.

"Casey, I never once said that I was siding with Vanessa," he said, shaking his head as he sunk down into a kitchen chair, tired. "I want to hear your side of the story too. I want to hear what really happened."

"Just read the paper," she said sarcastically, giving a choked laugh. "It'll bring you up to speed on what a violent and agressive bitch I really am. Then you can marry Vanessa, and the world will be at peace again."

"Please stop it," he begged her, not wanting to hear all of this. She wasn't listening to what he was saying, and that hurt. "Just tell me what happened. I know thre's got to be more to the story than this, and-"

"Just get the media away from my house, and then stay out of my life," she snapped, and before he could say anything in his own defense, she had hung up on him. The sound of the line cutting off rang through Derek's ears for a moment, and the very fact that she wanted nothing to do with him was beginning to settle into his mind. Casey practically hated him, it seemed. He couldn't understand what he had done that was so horrible, unless Vanessa had made up some random lie about him to get Casey mad at him, but he couldn't see Casey believing anything Vanessa told her. He knew that they didn't like each other, and that Casey would see anything like that as a failed attempt to get her to hate him. He knew that he could eliminate that one from his list of possible reasons why Casey suddenly wanted nothing to do with him.

Knowing that he was getting absolutely nowhere by thinking about this, he pushed himself up out of the chair, and made his way back towards his bedroom, already dialing Vanessa's cellphone number. He had the phone pressed against his ear as he poked through his closet to find something to wear. Vanessa wasn't answering her cell, and he only remembered why when the voicemail system cut in. It was Saturday, meaning that Derek didn't have work today, but Vanessa was in the recording studio today. He had completely forgotten about that. Whenever she was in the recording studio, she wouldn't have her cell anywhere near her, so he assumed that there was no point in leaving a message for her. She wouldn't call back if she knew he was angry, anyways.

He cursed under his breath and hung up the phone, throwing it onto the bed violently as he shoved a long sleeve shirt on over his head. He shrugged into a black jacket as he pocketed his cellphone, and his wallet, and within a moment, he was gone.

He definitely had a long and busy day ahead of him.

- - - -

The media was definitely milking this one for all it was worth. When Derek arrived at Casey's apartment building, he couldn't even enter the parking lot. Media trucks were swarming the front doors, reporters were chatting with each other- no doubt trying to exchange information. Flashes were going off as cameramen took pictures of the building, and several newscasters were conducting reports. Derek had known that it would be bad, but in all honesty, he had never expected this. He had figured that maybe it would just be as bad as last time. But this was ten times worse than anything he'd ever seen yet, and he'd been in the music industry for a few years now.

He was forced to park his vehicle on the side of the road, in one of the designated areas near the curb. He locked up his doors, and shoved his keys into his pocket, brushing his hair away from his eyes as he jogged down over the grassy slope that led to the overcrowded parking lot.

The moment he stepped onto the concrete, he was noticed, and he was instantly swarmed with reporters shoving cameras and microphones in his face, wanting to finally get a bit of input from someone other than Vanessa. He was sure that they'd been calling his house all morning, but he hadn't heard the phone, and he hadn't checked his missed calls, when he had woken up.

"Mr. Venturi," a nearby reporter asked, as Derek ignored the media, continuing his walk towards the front door. "Sir, can you tell us what exactly happened?"

"Did your fiancee fight her back?"

"Is the child still in Ms. McDonald's custody?"

"Were you present at the time of the attack?"

"How does this affect your relationship with both women?"

As Derek neared the front door, he turned, holding both of his hands up in the air as he shook his head, making sure he kept his gaze serious and determined, yet menacing and threatening all at once.

"This is absolutely nobody's business," he called out, loud enough so that they would all hear him. "What happened last night is between me, Casey, and Vanessa, and none of you have a right to be butting into this. So rest assured, if I find out that any of you have been calling her, or knocking on her door, or going anywhere outside the boundries of this parking lot to reach Casey, I will personally sue whatever network you work for, and then I will personally make sure you never step foot inside this building again, are we clear?"

There was a murmer of surprised chatter over Derek's word choice, and the fact that he had just technically threatened the media, but he did see a couple of nods in there as well. He felt a little bit more confident than he had before as he drew in a deep breath, nodding his head carefully.

"Glad we've got that out of the way," he noted, reaching behind him for the doorknob. "She's a person, she doesn't deserve all this media attention that you're shoving at her. Leave her alone."

Without another word, he had made his way into the building, and was jogging up the familiar flight of stairs to Casey's apartment. He knew the route so well that he could do it in his sleep, by now. This place was almost like a second home, to him, and it killed him to think that- if he didn't talk sense into Casey, this might very well be the last time he climbed these stairs to her apartment.

He tried not to think about that as he reached into his pocket for the spare key that she had given him awhile back, for the rare occasions that he had Justin while she was at work late. He found it, and slipped the key into the lock as he jiggled the doorknob, feeling relief spread through him when the door opened up, and he found himself inside the apartment.

He closed the door behind him, and looked around at the environment around him. Everything had been cleaned up, that much was obvious. He could only suppose that being unable to go outside her front door the whole day had given Casey some extra time to clean up whatever mess had been lying around, lately. The dishes were done, the counters were clean, and all of the food was put away into the cupboards and the fridge. The living room was spotless, with no toys scattering the floor, no magazines littering the coffee table. Even the floor was absent of Justin's usual blanket. The television was off, and the blinds were pulled shut. The place looked eerie, and Derek couldn't deny that it looked like it had been abandoned, or something.

"Case?" he called out, and when she didn't answer, he felt panic rise through him. What if she had left, and gone back to London to their parents house, or something? He knew that it wasn't likely, considering that the media would have hounded the poor woman to death, had she so much as taken a step outside her apartment. He had a good feeling that she couldn't have left, unless she had just gone down the hall to her friend's apartment. He hoped that she hadn't, since he really wanted to talk to her, and he felt relief flood through him when he heard Caseys voice speak up from somewhere within the apartment, gentle and quiet.

"I'm in here," she called out, and he frowned as he ensured that the door was locked, before making his way down the single hallway that branched off on either side into the few rooms in her apartment.

He glanced quickly into each room as he went, and finally spotted her sitting on the edge of Justin's bed, smoothing the little boy's hair away from his eyes. It was easy to tell that the kid was fast asleep, his puppy lying on the end of his bed comfortably, sleeping. Derek leaned against the doorway gently as he watched Casey kiss her son's forehead, and stand up slowly, as not to wake him. Derek caught sight of the small bruise on her cheek, from where Vanessa had hit her. He cringed at the sight of it, but was relieved to see that- when she got up closer to him, it actually didn't look that bad. Derek suspected that Vanessa would be sporting a much larger bruise today, and as horrible as it was, he rather felt that she deserved it. If Casey had gotten angry enough to hit her, she must have deserved it.

She placed a hand on his chest to urge him backwards slightly, and his breathing hitched in his throat for a moment at the close contact. When she had stepped outside the room herself, and the door was closed, she looked up at him for a moment, her eyes searching his. She noticed how her touch was affecting him, and quickly pulled her hand away from his chest, blushing as she brushed her hair back over her shoulder. He cleared his throat as she straightened up, and led the way out into the living room, with Derek following along behind her aimlessly, as though he were lost.

"He's sleeping in awful late today," he noted, trying to make casual conversation with her. "He's usually up pretty early. Is he sick, or something?"

Casey turned, her eyes narrowing slightly as she placed a hand on her hip, the other hand leaning against the back of a kitchen chair casually.

"Yeah, he is sick," she said, and he winced at the edge of bitterness in her voice. "Sick of all the media attention, that is. Did you know they started knocking on the door at _three_ o'clock this morning? Three, Derek! He barely got any sleep at all, they were being that loud. What, did you drop Vanessa off at the newspaper place last night, on the way home? Because she's the only one who could've told anyone, and she had that story out there awfully quick."

Derek was silent for a moment as he studied her features with interest. She didn't look like she was trying to defend herself, and she didn't look like she had any plans on doing so. She looked like a girl who felt betrayed and angry, hurt and somewhat frightened, even if she'd never admit it.

He frowned, folding his arms across his chest as he kept his eyes fixed on her face, sighing.

"Tell me why you really hit her, Casey," he asked of her, his voice serious as he kept his gaze steady. "Because, believe it or not, I don't believe a word of whatever Vanessa told those reporters. Yeah, I believe you hit her, but I don't think it was anything that she said. I think there's more to the story, and you just don't want to tell me."

She looked away, a defensive look flickering through her eyes as she frowned, glancing down at the floor.

"You shouldn't be here anyways, Derek," she said, shaking her head. "It's obvious that you've only got room for one of us in your life. I don't want to cause anymore trouble between you and your fiancee."

"I don't give a damn," he snapped, feeling anger bubble up inside him at her refusal to talk to her. "Don't you understand, Case? I value what I've got with you enough to know that it's worth fighting for. I care about you alot, and I want to help you through this."

"Help Vanessa," was her only response, as she shook her head sadly. "I'm being honest here; things are going to be a whole lot better if you just get out of here now, and pretend like we never started anything in the first place. Just... go back to two months ago, and start over. Act like I never told you any of this."

Derek stared at her for a moment, absolutely shocked. Did she honestly think he was going to walk away from her, and from their son? Justin and Casey had quickly become two of the most important people in his life, and he wasn't about to lose them now. He'd just gotten Casey to start trusting him, by sticking around; how could he just move on, and pretend like he hadn't reunited with her at all? He cared about her, alot more than he should, and it was occuring to him now that maybe he was in way over his head here. All he thought about anymore was Casey. When it came to taking sides, he chose Casey. And when he closed his eyes at night... it was Casey who occupied his thoughts now, never Vanessa. He wasn't sure when that had changed, but it had. Just like his feelings. He was dreading the wedding that he would be unfortunately be the center of in three weeks time, and he was starting to wish he had never rushed things so much with Vanessa. He had never really wanted to propose, and he should've gone with his gut instinct, when it told him to take things slower. He had forced himself to believe that he loved her, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

Because, truth be told, he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with her. Sure, he may have convinced himself that he did, but the more he thought about the impending wedding, the sicker he felt. The idea of going through the rest of his life with Vanessa by his side wasn't all that appealing to him anymore, and he wanted out. He really did. But the idea of having no one... of having nobody loving him... well, in a way that was even scarier. He didn't want to think of his life alone. He was so used to having someone, by now, that the very thought of suddenly being stuck on his own was sort of frightening. He would've felt alot more secure, if he was aware of whether or not Casey felt anything for him, but since he was in no position to ask her something like that, he had no way of knowing if the feelings that were slowly returning to him were mutual. And aside from that, he wasn't even sure if he had the guts to publicly leave Vanessa for Casey. He knew how much drama that would cause for him, and for Casey. The media would have a field day with that.

Yeah, this was definitely one of those times when he wished his life wasn't so public.

"How do you expect me to pretend this didn't happen?" he questioned, shaking his head. "You were the one who hounded me for days about being absolutely positive that I could stick to my promises, and making sure that this was something that I was going to commit myself to- that it was something I really wanted. And it is, Casey! Jesus Christ, I've committed myself to you and Justin everyday for the past two months. I've stuck to my promise, and this is the one thing in my life I'm sure I want. It's more than that, because there's times when I think it's more of a need."

She paled slightly, and her eyes were curious as squinted at him, as though trying to decode some sort of mystery.

"What do you mean, a need?" she questioned, and they stared at each other for a moment before he shook his head, shrugging his shoulders slightly in confusion.

"I don't know; it's hard to explain," he noted, sounding as though this was very stressful on him. "I just feel like I need you guys in my life. Before you two came along, all I was focused on was my career, and Vanessa. I was only looking ahead, waiting for the next move to come along, but with you guys... it's different. Spending time with the two of you is so surreal to me, because it's like... there's no pressure to have everything exactly right, there's no strict rules to follow..."

She was watching him intently now, and he knew that she was most definitely listening to every word that left his mouth, for her eyes were set right upon him, looking serious. He caught sight of this, and took his chances, going on while he already had her attention.

"You guys just showed me that there's more to life than business, and money," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "You guys aren't exactly rich, and I know you can admit that. But you're the happiest people I know, most of the time, and... you're a family. You're my family, and I've never had anything like that with Vanessa. It's always just me and her, and so much of it is on a physical level. I just... I'm so confused right now, and I don't know what I want, or what's going to happen... but I need you guys in my life. That much I know for sure."

Casey stared at him for a moment, and he had to wonder what she was going to say to him. Had he gotten through to her? Had he made the point clear that he _needed_ her in his life? He could only hope that he had, but he knew that Casey was a difficult girl to get through to sometimes. He knew that there had to be logical reasoning behind Casey's sudden desire to have him out of her life, and he didn't believe for one second that he had done anything wrong. He knew that she wouldn't have believed a word that Vanessa told her, if it had been some sort of lie that his fiancee had made up about him. No, it had to be something more than that. But what could it possibly be?

"You should leave," Casey said quietly, her voice lost and small. "This is what's going to be best for Justin. Just trust me, okay?"

Derek felt his stomach turn with nausea, and he felt his head shaking with frustration as he let out a groan of anger, obviously fed up with whatever was going on in her head.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but it has to stop!" he yelled, glaring at her now. "Justin's my son too, Casey. You can't just kick me out of his life now; not after I've gotten to know him. It's not right, and I know that you don't want this."

Her gaze lowered to the floor, and he knew that what he had just said had been the absolute truth; she didn't want things to end like this. For some insane reason, she just felt that it was for the best. All he had to do was figure out why, and change her mind on it. He wasn't about to let her win this battle; no way.

"So tell me what's really going on here, because I want to know," he said, as his arms folded across his chest once more. "You can't honestly expect me to believe what they wrote in those newspapers, and you can't expect me to believe Vanessa either. I know you better than that, and I know that this isn't you. You're hiding something from me, and I want to know what."

She looked up at him then, her gaze ashamed, and he knew that she was just dying to tell him what had happened, but that she felt like she shouldn't, or couldn't. He wanted to know what was so bad that she would hide this from him, but before either of them had a chance to say anything, there was a knock on the door, sounding in three loud beats.

Casey cringed, and Derek rolled his eyes as they both looked towards the door, both thinking the same thing; the media.

"They're probably here for another attempt at interviewing me," Casey murmered, running a tired hand through her hair as she gave the door a hateful stare. "They've been knocking all day now."

Derek felt a frown forming on his lips, and he felt anger bubble up inside of him as his hands clenched into angry fists. He took a few steps towards the door, raising an eyebrow.

"I made it quite clear to every single one of those bastards outside that they had no business here," he muttered, obvious hatred in his voice. "Let me handle them, Case."

She only nodded, and he felt the need to protect Casey as he placed a hand on her doorknob, smirking as he yanked the front door open. He was well-prepared to freak out at whatever reporter or photographer was at the door. He was even prepared to kick some major butt, if that was what it took to get these idiots to leave.

But what he wasn't prepared for was the grim-faced looking woman on the other side of the door. She was dressed in black from head to toe, and wore a serious expression on her face as she adjusted the briefcase she was holding, looking Derek up and down.

"Mr. Venturi, I assume?" she questioned, and when Derek only nodded, she motioned towards the apartment, her eyes stone cold. "May I come in? I promise you this will only take a few moments."

Derek could only nod, because he knew this couldn't be a reporter. She was too serious looking, too grim, too proper. And aside from all of that, she didn't even have a camera, or a microphone. He felt like this was something of a more serious nature, so he stepped back, and allowed her to pass.

Derek closed the door as she came to a stop a couple of feet in front of a confused looking Casey. Derek relocked the door, before taking the few steps towards Casey, and coming to a stop at her side, their arms touching as they faced the very professional-looking woman in front of them. She gave them both a grim look, before sighing, and getting right to the matter.

"My name is Ms. Frampton," she said, her tone solid and determined. "I'm a social worker. Your son is Justin Venturi, correct?"

They both nodded, and Derek could feel Casey shaking next to him as she stared at the woman, eagerly awaiting her next words. His hand automatically found hers, and he slipped his fingers between Casey's, squeezing her hand gently in an attempt to reassure her. He felt her relax slightly, and he continued to hold onto her hand as the woman held up a sheet of paper that she had just pulled from her briefcase, obviously wanting them to see it.

"I'm here today on a grant to remove the child from this home," she continued, not noticing the pale look on both of their parents faces. "We've gotten several calls indicating that he may be in danger, if he stays here. I've got some papers here for you to sign, and if you could cooperate as much as possible, it would be greatly appreciated."

And at that moment, Casey felt like Vanessa had truly won. Because it hadn't mattered what she had done before. Threatening her, making rude comments, and hitting her had meant nothing. Cruel words and petty slaps meant nothing to Casey; she could deal with that just fine.

But taking away the one person who kept her stable, and kept her sane... that was something she definitely couldn't handle.

* * *

**Reviews are greatly appreciated. **


	18. How to Deal

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.**

**Chapter Eighteen: How to Deal**

It was one o'clock when Derek stormed into the building where he worked, his hands clenched into fists, red in the face from running so fast, and from anger. He was shaking, and so much anger was shooting through him that he didn't know how to channel it properly. He was scared that if someone so much as walked in front of him, he'd lose it and wind up hitting someone. And right now, that was the last thing he wanted to be doing. He didn't want to wind up having some story about how both of Justin Venturi's parents were violent and agressive. That was the very last thing that him and Casey needed right now, and he had a feeling that they both knew that.

People said hello to him as he walked by, and he wasn't even sure if he said anything in return; he was that distracted. He may have uttered the occasional hello, or nodded his head at a few of them, but he really had no way of being certain. He hoped that nobody took it personally, because there was only one person he was angry with right now, aside from every single person in the media.

Luckily for Derek, he knew where he could find that one person. Vanessa would be in the same recording studio where she always was, and he knew that. So when he pushed the studio doors open, and strode right past the sound booth, nobody was even surprised to see that he was there. It wasn't uncommon for him to drop in during his fiancee's rehearsals or recording sessions.

But when he pushed the glass door open, and strode right out into her little recording booth, he heard several people behind him calling out for him to come back, that they were about to start recording something. He could care less, right now. His eyes were fixed on Vanessa, who was sitting so calmly on that stool, the dim lights shining down on her as she sat there in her black pants and a black tank top, her hair falling in waves past her shoulders. The walls around them were coated with a soft red cushiony material, making it more soundproof, and it was such a cozy place to be, in all reality. Usually, he loved it here.

But as he came to a stop next to Vanessa, and practically yanked the headset from her head, he was nothing but cozy and relaxed. He was angry, he was betrayed, and he was hurting. He couldn't believe that Vanessa would go to such extremes against someone who he so obviously cared about. She knew how important Casey was in his life, and not only that, she had lied. Derek knew that there wasn't an ounce of truth to what she had said in any of her interviews. He saw it in Casey's eyes, and he could hear it in Vanessa's voice when she spoke. There was more to this story, and whether he found out what had really happened or not, there was no excuse to drag Justin into this. He was a six year old child with autism, and he had special needs that only his family knew how to attend to. Sure, they probably had lots of information on autism, but did any of those social workers know that Justin only liked eating out of _his_ bowl? Did they know exactly how much Kraft Dinner to spoon into that bowl, at lunchtime? Did they know the book that he liked to have read to him every single night before he went to sleep? Did they know that he had to watch his show every single day, or else he'd get upset?

No. They knew none of that; only his family knew that, and because of Vanessa, he was going to be deprived of the care that he actually deserved.

And Derek wasn't okay with that.

Vanessa looked up with surprise as Derek dropped the headset to the ground, his chest rising and falling heavily as he struggled for air. He wasn't thinking or breathing properly, and he could just break off and hit something right now, he was that angry with her.

"Hey," she said to him, forcing a smile as she studied his face curiously. "What's wrong, baby? You look all out of breath, and angry, and... oh..."

She trailed off as she realized that Derek must have gotten ahold of the newspaper this morning. He rather thought that she was foolish to think that he wouldn't have found out what she had done; the news was everywhere. If she had thought for one second that her fiance wouldn't have found out what she had done, then she was crazier than he had thought she was.

"How could you?" he snapped bitterly, shaking his head at her as he shook his head, obviously angry. "I get it, okay? You and Casey have your differences, and you hate each other. I've accepted the fact that you two don't get along, because you've made it loud and clear to me already. But to go behind my back and make Casey's business public to the whole world? What the hell were you thinking?"

Vanessa went right into defense mode, placing a hand on her hip as she raised her eyebrows at her fiance. It was quite obvious to Derek that she hadn't expected him to be against her in this matter, and he knew that she had no idea how to handle being verbally attacked by her fiance. At least this way, she'd know what a _real_ attack felt like.

"She hurt me, Derek!" she whined, her face quickly putting on it's best pout. "She attacked me, and you're siding with her? How can you do that?"

"Very easily," he said, folding his arms across his chest. "See, I've known Casey for a good eight or nine years now, and let me tell you something. The girl absolutely despises violence of any kind. I'm not denying that she hit you, because I can see that she did. But you must have done something to deserve that, if you broke Casey out of her non-violent shell. I'm not blaming you entirely for the fight, because I'm sure you both had a pretty big part in it, but I am blaming you for this whole media thing. Because honestly? You had absolutely no right to make Casey's business public. That was so low of you, and I can't begin to tell you how mad it makes me."

Vanessa looked panicked, and Derek knew that she was really beginning to freak out, having no idea how to make a comeback out of this one. It was obvious that she had never thought anyone would question her story, but Derek was, and now she had to think quickly, before her reputation was tragically shattered for good.

"I'm sorry, what more do you want me to say?" she questioned, shrugging her shoulders as she ensured that she actually appeared to be remorseful, even if she wasn't. "I mean, is it my fault that I felt this would be a good publicity spin for us? I just wanted the world to know that the perfect little angel that they've been seeing lately isn't so perfect after all. I've seen the stories they've printed about you guys, and it's all this stupid glory crap that I don't believe for a second. They've caught sight of you guys walking around in the park with that kid, and taking him to school, and they're making you guys sound like the perfect little family. Excuse me if I don't buy that crap for half a second."

Something settled in the back of Derek's mind, and his eyes darkened as he recognized the meaning behind what she had just said. She may have meant it to come out at least semi-innocent, but Derek didn't buy it. The only thing he could register right now, was the fact that Vanessa had done this purposely to destroy Casey's otherwise flawless reputation. She had just admitted to the fact that she was sick of seeing Casey come off as sweet and innocent, and that she had wanted to change that.

"You had no right, Vanessa," was all he said, as he shook his head bitterly, anger practically sparking off of him. "Do you know how much trouble you've caused? There's a social worker coming to get Justin in a few hours, did you know that? They think he's in an unfit home. I just had to argue with social services for an extra few hours, to get him ready."

Vanessa shrugged, a careless look in her eyes as she put a smug little smirk on her face, obviously not really caring about what she had done.

"It's about time someone took care of the boy properly," she said, as though it were no big deal. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a CD to record. Thanks."

Derek stared at her for another moment, unable to believe that somebody could be so cruel. How could she not feel a hint of remorse for what she had done to Casey? This was absolutely ridiculous. If he didn't have such a strong policy against hitting girls, Vanessa would be sporting a whole new bruise right about now. But he had more restraint than that, and he was too much of a good man to ever lay hands on a girl, even if she deserved it.

So he shook his head in disgust at her, backing up towards the door that he'd stormed in through moments before.

"I can't deal with you right now," was all he said, before hopping up onto the step, and slamming the door behind him. Everyone in the sound booth fell silent, and even Vanessa stared after her fiance with shock as he exited, his dignity all that he had left.

- - - -

Derek arrived back at Casey's apartment at around four o'clock that afternoon, feeling as though this day was already dragging on and on forever. He had been back and forth between the two girls three times today, and this was getting tiring. He had hoped that his Saturday might be filled with relaxation and some peace and quiet, but it was readily apparant that this wasn't going to happen, not a chance. There was way too much drama going on around him right now to even consider relaxation as a possibility. He could relax later; right now, he had to focus on making sure that Casey was emotionally okay, and that Justin wouldn't get taken from her. If there was one thing he knew about Casey, it was that she was absolutely crazy for her son, and that anyone who did anything to hurt their relationship would pay most dearly for their actions. He knew her well enough by now to know that, and he wasn't one to test the waters.

The social worker was due to arrive at four thirty, so when Derek walked in the door at four, he wasn't surprised to find that only Casey and Justin were present. His eyes settled for a moment on the scene in front of him, and he saw that the both of them were sitting on the couch. Justin was sitting cross-legged, with a book open on his knees, and Casey was sitting right next to him, her legs curled up behind her as she kept her arm around his shoulders, forcing a smile everytime the little boy pointed to one of the pictures in his book.

"Puppy," he whispered happily, jabbing his finger at what must have been a picture of a puppy in the book. Casey smiled, nodding her head at him in pretend happiness as his eyes went round and curious, and he glanced around him, as though searching for something. When he didn't find it, he turned back to his mother, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Where's puppy?"

Derek spotted the puppy at his feet, chewing on the end of his shoelace, and he frowned for a moment, before leaning down and scooping Jade up into his arms, holding the dog safely against him.

"Your puppy is right here, bud," he said, taking a couple of steps into the apartment with the dog in his arms.

Casey's head turned, and as her eyes settled on Derek, Justin shoved his book off of his lap and onto the couch beside him. He jumped up, running happily towards his father, who he hadn't really seen in a few days now. Derek immmediately placed the dog down on the floor, and crouched down so that he caught Justin in a tight embrace. He closed his eyes as he held the kid against him, trying not to think about how he may not get to do this for awhile, if his son got taken away.

"Hey, buddy," he whispered against his son's shaggy brown hair, his voice cracking slightly. "What's up?"

Justin pulled back, and as he kept his arms around his father's neck, Derek took advantage of it- lifting Justin up into his arms. The kid wasn't that big, and he was pretty lightweight and easy to hold. He fit easily into Derek's arms, and he grinned at his father as Derek took a few steps towards the couch, giving Casey a concerned look. Her eyes were slightly red, and he knew she'd cried. She had probably stopped whenever Justin could see her, because hell knows she would never want to appear weak in front of her son, but he knew that she had, at some point, been crying. She looked absolutely lost, and completely torn, and he knew how hard this was on her. The pain was reflected in her eyes, and it told him all he needed to know about this; she wasn't okay.

"How are you holding up?" he asked, his question unnecessary as she snorted, turning her head away from him. She gazed out the window quietly, and he bit his lip, tilting his head at her.

"Casey, talk to me here," he begged, as she continued to freeze him out, slowly killing him. He hated that she felt like she couldn't open up to him; they were always so honest with each other, these days. It felt weird to think that she was no longer able to talk to him about what she was feeling. He wondered for a moment if she possibly held some of the blame to him, but he rather thought that that was ridiculous. Casey had to know that he cared about her too much to do something that would hurt her like that, right? He hoped that she didn't think he was honestly against her, here. He was completely on her side, and he didn't want her to think that she didn't have him to turn to anymore.

He placed Justin back down on the ground, and the little boy immediately ran over near the front door, where Jade was sniffing around. He laughed happily as he threaded his tiny fingers through the dog's fur, and Derek sighed, turning back to Casey. He perched himself on the edge of the couch, reaching out and touching her cheek gently to urge her towards him. She slowly turned her head, blinking back tears as she looked him right in the eye, shaking her head sadly at him. He saw how much she was hurting, and he wished with all of his heart that she could just be happy. God, he would feel all of this pain for her, if it would make her the tiniest bit happier. But he knew that was something that couldn't be arranged, and all he could do was help her the best he could, with his words and his actions.

"Casey, I want to try and help you," he whispered, as she continued to watch him wordlessly. "I want to help get you through this, but I can only do that if you let me. I need you to let me in."

Her eyes wandered past Derek, and to her son, who was playing with his dog. He had a feeling that she wasn't even really listening to anything he was saying, but he sort of understood. He knew that she was going through a rough time right now, and he had a feeling that seeing the fiance of the person who had basically destroyed her life wasn't exactly helping her out that much. He could see the look of longing that lingered in her expression as she kept her eyes on her son, obviously wishing with all of her heart that the boy didn't have to go anywhere.

"You're an amazing mother," he whispered to her, sensing her insecurity. "Never doubt that. Just because Vanessa made you out to be some violent and agressive woman, doesn't mean that you are. You're nothing that she described you as. You and Justin have an amazing bond, and you know what? That little boy doesn't care whether por not the world loves his mother, because _he _loves his mother, and that should be all that counts, right?"

She was silent for another moment, before she finally looked back at her ex, shaking her head sadly.

"No, Derek," she said, and it killed him to hear how defeated she sounded. "That's not all that matters. I mean... yeah, it's good to know that Justin loves me, and knows I wouldn't hurt him, and I'm glad to hear that you know it too. I don't care what the rest of the world thinks about me; I know I'm a good mother to him. But it's the fact that he's not going to be here with me that absolutely kills me."

He shook his head, his arm resting casually on the back of the couch as he settled in a little bit, trying his best to keep on comforting her.

"It's not going to be for good," he reminded her, wanting her to be reassured. "He'll come back; I'll make sure you get him back. I can promise you that they won't take him away for good. I'll do everything in my power to-"

"Who are you kidding, Derek?" she cut him off, laughing suddenly. He stopped talking, his mouth still half open as he looked down at her with surprise written across his face. She was giving him a sad sort of smile, and he could see that she was fighting back tears. He fell silent, allowing his mouth to fall closed as he frowned, watching her carefully.

She merely shook her head at him as she let out a deep breath, sounding completely broken.

"Vanessa's going to win," she said, her voice lingering with a soft sort of anger, one that was almost invisible to him. "She's a world famous celebrity, Derek. Who's gonna win this battle, huh? Someone like her, or some single mother living in some two bedroom apartment in a low-income neighbourhood? Face it, okay? Vanessa's got the support of the whole world on her shoulders, and I've got nothing."

Her head bowed down again, and Derek watched her for a moment, before shaking his head, and shifting closer to her. He reached out, gently taking her chin in his hand, and she found her face tilting towards his own as he locked his gaze with hers, his eyes serious and determined. The intensity of his stare was almost frightening to her, and she blushed gently under his touch as he leaned in, and kissed her forehead gently. His lips lingered on her skin for a brief moment as he closed his eyes, amazed at how much even this little gesture could mean to him. He was unaware of the fact that Casey was practically blood red from blushing, and he pulled back a tiny bit, his eyes opening up as he shook his head at her, forcing a tiny half-smile onto his lips.

"Never say you've got nothing," he told her, his voice rough with urgency, yet soft with care. "You've got me; you've always got me. I never want you to forget that."

She would have said something in response, but before another word could be exchanged between the two of them, there was a knock on the front door, and he found himself shifting away from her slightly as she stood up, straightening out her black tank top, and brushing her hair away from her face.

"That must be the social worker," she noted, her voice void of any emotion as she brushed past Derek, and made her way towards the front door, brushing past her son and ruffling his hair gently. The little boy barely looked up, and Derek had to wonder if he realized that he might soon be taken from everything he took for granted. He was sitting on the floor right now with a huge smile on his face, playing happily with the puppy he had recently gotten, with the company of both his mother and his father. Did he realize how quickly everything was about to be snatched away from him? Derek sort of felt bad for the kid; he knew nothing but his life here, with his mother. What was he going to do when he was taken away from the safety of her arms, and put into a completely new situation, one where he knew nobody?

Casey pulled the front door open, and Derek's attention flickered up to the social worker that came ont into the room, still looking as official as she did before. Derek wondered if that serious looking gaze just stuck there, because it hadn't faltered yet. He felt like he should hate the woman in front of him for threatening to take his son away, but it occured to him that Ms. Frampton was just doing her job, just as Derek did his own every single day. She hadn't made this decision; she had been told to come here, and remove Justin from his home. And that was exactly what she was doing. He couldn't blame her for following through on her orders, could he?

"Is he all ready?" Ms. Frampton asked, glancing down at the little boy momentarily, noticing that he didn't seem to notice anyone was there. "Have you told him he'll be leaving?"

Casey sighed, crouching down as she tried to pry Justin's hands away from the dog as gently as possible. Justin had been very concentrated on getting Jade to chew on her squeaky toy, and he was definitely not pleased with his mother removed it from his hands, placing it to the side. He let out a single cry of unhappiness, and Derek tensed, knowing how bad it would look if Justin started having a temper tantrum right in front of the social worker. Because of this, he forced himself up off of the couch, helping Casey out by swinging the boy up into his arms, taking him by surprise. Justin hadn't expected this, and the shock of the sudden change in altitute seemed to interest him, for he shut up and merely looked around at what he could see from higher up.

Casey hesitated for a moment, before deciding that it didn't matter who had silenced him, as long as he was quiet for the social worker's visit.

"I tried to tell him he was gonna be gone for a little while," she responded, glancing at the woman quickly. "I don't know how much of it he understood. You... you need to understand me here. I really don't think anyone that you send him to is going to be able to take care of him properly. He's got autism, and he has alot of special needs, and-"

"-and we have workers who can accommodate his needs, whatever they are," Ms. Frampton assured her, shaking her head as though she heard this sort of excuse all the time. "His needs won't be a challenge for us. There are workers trained specifically in autism at our children's centre. Believe me when I say that he will be in good hands, during his stay with us."

Casey's eyes flickered up to Justin again, cringing. The little boy looked tired, and his head was leaning against his father's now as he stared off into space, obviously lost in thought. Derek always had to wonder what he was thinking about, when he spaced off like that. It was like he went to a whole other world, and just once, he wished that he could join him. He wished he could see what made Justin so unique, so imaginative, so special. There had to be something that Justin saw that others didn't, because that look he got when he spaced off... it was incredible. HIs attention was completely focused on a different world, and only he knew what it contained.

"Will I be able to visit him?" Casey asked, the fear in her voice as she folded her arms across her chest, as though she were uncomfortable. Derek sensed the insecurity in her voice, and he prayed to God that the woman would say yes- of course she could visit Justin. He was pretty sure it would damn near kill her if she wasn't allowed this privilege.

But he felt his heart break for her as Ms. Frampton shook her head, the slightest hint of pity flickering through her eyes, the only sign that she felt any remorse or sympathy at all for Casey's situation.

"I'm sorry, but we don't have visitation rights worked into the matter right now," she explained, her eyes averting from the absolute heartbreak on Casey's face. "They temporarily revoked your full custody, and until the matter is solved, he will be under the care of social services. His father is free to visit him, since he isn't the one being questioned."

Casey's eyes travelled to Derek's, and he almost thought that she gave him a small glare then, as though she was jealous of the fact that he could visit their son, and she couldn't. He hoped that she wouldn't hold that against him, since it wasn't really his choice, and he was relieved when she merely turned away, looking back at the social worker.

"How long?" she asked, and it wasn't necessary for her to explain what she meant; it was obvious. She wanted to know how long her son would be out of her care, away from the safety she always showered him with.

But a mere shake of the head signalled that Ms. Frampton held no proper answers, only more confusion.

"I don't know," she admitted, sighing. "However long it takes for us to sort this out. It's going to weigh heavily on whether or not Ms. Williams changes her mind on pressing charges. If she does, it could take the whole length of the trial to figure it all out."

Casey paled, and without another word, Ms. Frampton had motioned for Derek to hand her the child. Derek's hold around his son tensed slightly, and he wanted nothing more than to refuse to hand him over. He knew that he could see Justin whenever he wanted, but the thought of having to give him to a complete stranger terrified him. He didn't want things to be like this; Casey didn't deserve this, and neither did Justin.

But the law was the law, and he reluctantly gave his son a tight hug, before placing him down on the ground, ruffling the boy's hair. There was no need for lengthy goodbyes that would upset Casey or Justin; he would see the boy soon, he was sure of it. He wanted to allow Casey that final moment to see her son.

Justin was oblivious to everything, but Casey didn't even try to explain things as she knelt down onto her knees, and pulled her son to her in a tight hug. Justin hugged her back, his tiny arms wrapping around her neck, but his eyes were confused as his mother didn't let go, only held him tighter. He wasn't used to his mother getting all emotional like this, and Derek knew then that Justin really didn't understand where he was going, or that he was going anywhere, for that matter. He was truly oblivious to it all.

"Night-night?" Justin questioned, as though he thought he was simply getting a goodnight hug. Casey gave a choked laugh, shaking her head she pulled back, a sad smile on her lips as she fought her tears back, not wanting to cry in front of her son, and make this harder on him. The look on his face was so curious, and she brushed his hair away from his forehead, sighing.

"No, baby," she said gently, and Derek had to wonder how anyone could ever think that she was an unfit mother; the bond between them was so obviously strong. "You're going to be going on a little trip, okay? You see this woman here? This is Ms. Frampton, and you're going to be going with her for a little while."

Justin's eyes were wide as he glanced up at the social worker, and back towards his mother again, trying to piece everything together.

"Sleepover?" he questioned, and Derek felt a smile tugging at his lips as Casey laughed sadly, nodding her head as she kept her hands on Justin's shoulders.

"Yeah, something like that," she confirmed, and the clearing of a throat signalled that it was time for them to go. She glanced up at the social worker, before looking back down at her son, and kissing his forehead twice, hugging him one last time. She whispered something in his ear, though Derek didn't hear what it was. He just assumed that it was a simple good-bye, or an 'I love you'. He watched as Casey pulled back, motioning towards his bag.

"If you get scared, your teddy bear is in there," she whispered to him quickly, smoothing his hair away from her face. "I put your favourite book and your toy car in there to play with, and-"

"Ms. McDonald," the worker said impatiently, and Casey looked up at her, pausing. It only took a second before she realized that she was getting on Ms. Frampton's nerves, and she sighed, knowing what had to be done.

It all happened so quickly; in a heartbeat, Justin was out of Casey's arms, and was holding onto the social worker's hand uncomfortably. It was obvious that he hadn't really understood the context of leaving with her, because he looked confused as hell as the woman grasped his bags in one hand, and led him towards the door with the other. He kept shooting furtive glances back at his parents, hurt lingering in his eyes, as though he were scared.

"Mommy?" he questioned, as Casey remained where she was, and it was at that moment that Derek had to reach out and place his arm around her to keep her from running to her son. He wrapped his arm tightly around her shoulders, securing her against him to make sure she couldn't run off. He felt her reluctance, and he knew how badly she wanted to just run forwards and take her son back to where he belonged. But they both knew full well that they had to be the strong ones here, and since she wasn't so intent on staying strong, he did it for her, holding her back with his comforting embrace, trying his best to keep her feeling somewhat stable, even if she knew she felt far from it.

And the last thing they saw was Justin's confused eyes, styaring at his parents as though he felt betrayed, as though he thought that they actually wanted this, that they were sending him off with some complete stranger by will. He hoped to God that he knew how much they both loved him, because hell knows it would hurt if he didn't know that by now.

And then the door closed, and the only hint of Justin's lingering presence in the building was the sound of tiny footsteps padding down the hallway after his adult company.

Casey was standing completely still, frozen as she stared at the doorway. Her breathing was shaky, and she was staring at the door with a sense of fear in her eyes. He knew she was having a hard time collecting herself, and he found himself drawing her closer, his gaze sympathetic and understanding as he tried his best to keep his voice calm.

"Casey," he said, but she shook her head, backing away from him.

"Get out of here," was all she said, ignoring the hurt that flashed through his eyes at her malicious words. "Didn't you hear me? I said get out of here. Go back to Vanessa; see if I give a damn. You just make sure you keep that fiancee of yours away from me, and from my son. If you visit Justin, she is _not_ to go with you. I've done all of this to protect him from her, and she'd better not screw it up now."

"Wait a second, what?" Derek questioned, confused. "What do you mean you've been protecting Justin from Vanessa? What are you talking about?"

Casey stared at him for a second, breathing hard, before she shook her head, and grabbed onto his arm, pulling him towards the door. He felt like he should fight for this a little harder, and make her explain it to him. But the look in her eyes clearly meant that she didn't want to argue with him, and that she had enough on her mind as it was. And as much as Derek wanted answers, he wasn't willing to make her uncomfortable just to get them out of her.

"Just leave," she said, and without another word, he found himself outside the door, staring at the little brass number that shone on her doorway in a dull manner.

He waited, but she didn't open the door again, and he found himself leaning against the wall, his eyes closing as he came to a startling realization. He had lost his son, he had lost his best friend, and he had lost whatever respect he had for his fiancee, all in the same day.

Life definitely couldn't get any worse than this.

* * *

**Oh yes it can. Hehe. Review, and I will update. **


	19. Untrue Friend

**I am really sorry about the lateness and the way this chapter is done. It may be a bit all over the place, because I have been experiencing horrible horrible writers block. It probably has alot to do with the stress of finals, and the fact that I've been out of review classes with a severe migraine all week, but I don't know. This happens everytime exams roll around, but don't worry. I'm still writing. I'm just fitting in studying in between. Once summer comes, I'm generally more frequent. I'm aiming to have this story done by summer anyway, and be moved onto the sequel of Through the Haze, but enough with my rambling. Time for the chapter. Once again, sorry about the wait. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter Nineteen: Untrue Friend**

It had been a little bit over two weeks since Justin had been taken from his mother. He was still under the care of social services, and he was being held at one of their children's centres in downtown Toronto. It was a fair sized building, with one floor full of offices, and another floor full of rooms that could accommodate the kids. And while there were only five or six kids in the centre at a given time, each child was allowed their own room, but they were very small, and very impersonal. Every room looked the same; white walls, pale blue carpeting, and a single bed with plain light blue comforters. The kids that stayed in the building were usually only placed there for a short period of time, too short a time to be considered for foster care, so in all reality, there was no need for the rooms to be too welcoming. That was the explanation that they gave- when Derek had asked why the rooms were so dull. The only room that seemed to have anything of a personal touch was Justin's. Derek had been required to bring him his own comforter and pillow, after two consecutive nights of the boy's crying. His book, teddy bear, and toy car were all that he had with him, and Derek knew that he was growing impatient and bored with the center. This was summer break; he wanted to be running around outside, not cooped up inside, or stuffed into the tiny penned playground that they had on the grounds, because everyone was too busy to play with him. He was a child; he wasn't going to accept being ignored, obviously.

Derek visited him as often as he could. He tried to get in every single day, but there had been one or two days that he hadn't been able to get in, because of work, and last minute wedding changes. Vanessa was keeping him busy by giving him little errands to run, and he had a feeling that she was doing it on purpose. Things had been rough between them for days following Justin's move. She had called him for three days straight, and he hadn't so much as answered any of her calls. If she had dropped by, he had ensured that he was out of the house, and away from her. Most of the time, he was trying equally as hard to get ahold of Casey, who wouldn't so much as return a phone call from him. He didn't understand what he had done that was so horrible; he had been supportive of her, why was she still shoving him away? He hadn't gone to her apartment again, for fear of being kicked out like the last time. He didn't want to invade on her privacy, and if she didn't want him there, he'd stay out. He wasn't going to get her even angrier, no way. But he had kept on calling her for a week and a half, until finally she had answered, and hung up without a hello. He knew she was hurting, but couldn't she see that she was breaking his heart? All he wanted was to talk to her, and to help her through this. He was hurting too, and he felt like they could do each other alot of good, if she'd only let him in.

But she was insistant, and she was determined to keep him out of her life for good. He had no idea why she was being so stubborn, but when it had become apparant that Casey was going to ignore him, he had slowly started to answer Vanessa's calls again. He told himself that it was because he knew the feeling of being ignored, but even he didn't believe himself. A part of him was telling him that Casey was done with him, and that he was just going to have to suck it up and go back to Vanessa. The thought sickened him, but if everything he had with Casey was over... what more was there to do? He could try and force himself to love Vanessa, but a much larger part of him knew that he could never love her like he had ever loved Casey, and he had always been a fool if he had thought that he could. What he had with Casey, even in friendship, was stronger than anything he had ever felt for Vanessa, period. They had this amazing connection. It was like they had been able to pick up right where they left off seven years ago, minus the romance. They knew what the other was thinking most of the time, they knew just when to try and cheer each other up, or when to just shut up and be comforting. They knew what made the other one tick, and they both knew when to draw the lines. She was balanced and organized, and while he appeared to be both of those things, he was really just as crazy and mixed up as he had been back in high school. They balanced each other out, they completed each other, and Derek knew that he could never find that with Vanessa.

But if Casey was out of his life for good, what else was he supposed to do? Dump Vanessa, and move onto the next girl, who would serve as another temporary distraction from his pain? What good would that do him? He knew it would cause him nothing but more grief in the end, and he knew that, unless Casey changed her mind, this was what he was going to have to do, even if he despised his fiancee for all that she'd done. Maybe he was just weak, and maybe he was too afraid to make that step that might change everything between him and Casey, and he could probably admit that, to an extent. But he knew that he couldn't lead both of them on forever.

On that particular day, three days before his wedding, he stopped into the children's center right before suppertime, after he knew that Justin might be winding down for the evening. It was difficult to visit the kid during mid-afternoon, when he was eager to go outside, and Derek could take him nowhere. At least by dinnertime, Justin knew that he had to stay inside, but that his father was all-too-willing to come inside and play with him for a little while.

One of the workers of the center led Derek upstairs, and pointed out his son, who was sitting in the corner by himself. There was a blue bean bag that was usually a part of a larger circle of the sitting section, but Justin had seemingly hauled it away from the rest of the bean bags, and into the corner. His feet were propped up against the wall as he remained back onto the rest of the room. A few kids were playing here and there with an assortment of toys, and one of the older kids was watching TV aimlessly, chin in his hands as he kept up his bored facade.

But Justin was all that stood out in Derek's mind. He looked lonely, he looked tiny, and he looked as though he had nobody to call a friend, in this horrible place. Derek wished with all his heart that his son wasn't in this situation, and he felt a hint of resentment towards Vanessa flicker through him. This wasn't the Justin he knew so well; this was merely a little boy who had had his whole world taken away from him. His life was a mirror of instability right now, and Derek completely understoood that Justin felt nothing but pain, right now.

He settled himself in next to his son in the corner, his back against the wall as he propped his legs up in front of him, his head turned to see Justin, who hadn't spotted him yet. He reached out, tapping the kid on the shoulder, and as Justin's head turned, Derek's heart broke. The look of absolute relief that his father had come to visit him was so hard for Derek to face, because it sort of implied that Justin was afraid nobody was going to come visit him here. He saw that look of relief everytime he came to visit Justin, and although he knew his son loved him, he had a feeling that Justin was hoping for his mother, everytime he felt that tap on the shoulder. Derek wasn't offended; he understood that the two of them had an amazing bond, and that Justin had seen him almost everyday for the past two weeks, whereas he had not gotten the chance to see his mother. He knew that they must miss each other like crazy.

Nonetheless, he smiled at his son as Justin straightened up in the beanbag chair, a tiny smile on his face as he watched his father intently. His eyes were curious, and Derek reached out, ruffling his hair as he kept his voice down low, considering there were other people in the room.

"Hey buddy," he said quietly, his voice calm. "How you doing today?"

Justin only blinked at him, and it was once again a reminder that the little boy absolutely despised this place. He never spoke when he was in these crowded rooms of kids. Derek could get him to talk when he was in the room by himself, but when he was around any of his workers, or the other kids, Derek might as well have been talking to the wall, because Justin gave him no answers. He even appeared to be in bad moods, even when he was alone with his father. Derek had a feeling that the workers at the center had no idea how to care for Justin. Yeah, they probably knew how to deal with kids with autism, but Derek could easily make a bet on the fact that they probably dealt with every autistic child in the exact same manner. Children with autism weren't automatically matched with the same needs, and they didn't seem to understand that they had to take the time to get to know Justin, to be able to deal with his condition. Nobody in that center was actually trying their hardest to assess his needs, and that offended Derek. They should be providing him with the best care possible, and instead, Derek had to watch his son's progress slowly wind backwards. That was painful to watch, especially considering how hard Casey had worked to get Justin to the level where he had been before he had been relocated to this children's center.

Derek sighed, pushing himself up off of the wall and offering a hand to Justin to help him up. The kid always liked having a choice, since every aspect of his life here was controlled, and Derek wanted him to be ableto pick his own actions for once.

"Want to come on in your room and show me some of your drawings? They told me on the way up here that you were coloring all day today."

Justin eyed his father's hand for a moment, before pushing himself up and grabbing onto his father's hand loosely. Derek tightened his grip around the smaller hand, and walked Justin back to his bedroom. The door was closed, and Derek pushed it open as they approached it, allowing Justin to go on in first.

The little boy took a seat on his bed, and Derek sighed as he closed the door behind him, leaning against it. Justin was already staring off into space, his eyes fixed on the ceiling as his mental state floated to a place far from where they really were, physically. Derek wished that he could bring him back to Earth with a simple snap of his fingers, but he knew that nothing worked like that. Justin was completely lost in thought right now, and the only thing that could bring him back was some conversation that really interested him. There wasn't much that really grabbed the boy's attention anymore, so Derek knew he would be forced to compromise. He had a feeling that Justin didn't want to show him the artwork he had done that day, so he didn't revisit that topic. He merely breathed out deeply as he remained leaning against the door, unsure of what to say.

"Did you go outside today?" he asked, earning only a nod from the little boy. "That's cool. Were you playing on the playground at all?"

Justin shook his head, his eyes still fixed on the ceiling. Derek knew that he should feel grateful for even getting the head nods. Two months ago, before he had even been involved in this, a head nod would've been amazing progress for Justin. But now, with the boy after coming so far in his communication tactics, a nod was nothing too special. Sure, it meant that he was learning to communicate a little bit easier, but he had been using his words quite well for the past month or two, ever since his father had come around, and his mother had changed his eating habits.

Derek sighed, noticing the sadness in his son's eyes, and he wished with all of his heart that he could do something to cheer the kid up. He missed the boy's smile; what parent wouldn't want their child to be happy? He knew that Justin missed his mother terribly, and that the two of them needed to have a visit with each other, if not be reunited completely. He almost felt guilty everytime he went to visit his son, because he knew that Casey was miserable without him. But a much larger, and much more rational part of him understood that Casey would want someone to visit her son in this place, even if it couldn't be her. She loved him enough to wish good company upon him, and Derek was well aware of that.

"What's on your mind, buddy?" he asked, as Justin picked up the teddy bear on his bed, and hugged it to his chest, his eyes still fixed on the ceiling. Derek noticed his silent front and sighed, knowing that he would have to start the conversation, if he was going to get Justin to speak. He wasn't sure what else he could say, since asking questions didn't seem to be working, but he had to start somewhere. And as he took a look at the boy, and felt a wave of guilt wash over him, he knew just where that starting point was.

"You know, just because I haven't been as involved in your life as your mother has, doesn't mean I love you any less," he said carefully, his eyes never leaving Justin's face, which was currently void of emotion. "I didn't even know about you until recently, but if I had, I would've been there since the very beginning. You only get to be a kid once, and I missed out on some of the most important years of your life. That kills me, when I think of how much time I missed. I mean, it's not my fault, and I can't blame it on your mother either; she did it for the best. It was just something that happened."

Justin was looking at his father now, his eyebrows scrunched together, and while Derek suspected that his son was understanding absolutely nothing of what he was saying, he kept on going. Even if the words didn't hold any particular meaning to Justin, this was doing some good in helping him get everything off of his chest, and relieve some of the stress he was feeling. He would've gone on further with his little tirade, but before he could utter a word, he heard the boy speak up, his voice tiny and scared sounding, as though he were desperate for something.

"Daddy?" he questioned, and he immediately let his eyes wander to his son's face, which was scrunched up painfully. Derek raised an eyebrow at the child's sudden speech, but he didn't say a word as he gave Justin a look that clearly signalled he had the floor; it was okay to go on. Once Justin sensed this, it only took a moment for him to shake his head, his eyes welling up with tears as he choked out his next few words.

"I miss Mommy."

It occured to Derek that this was the first real sentence that Justin had ever spoken- in his presence, or otherwise. Casey had told Derek several times that- although Justin could usually string a few words together, he had never actually verbalized a coherent and complete sentence. And although this had only been three tiny words, it was the most amazing progress Justin had ever made. Derek wondered if this was merely because the message that he had been trying to convey had been so utterly important, or whether he was making up for his usual silence, over the past few weeks. He didn't know, but he was proud of Justin regardless of the meaning behind his speech.

And it was only then did he realize that he had spent so much time thinking about the fact that Justin had spoken, that he hadn't given any thought to the actual words that had been voiced. _I miss Mommy_, he'd said. What a heartbreaking first sentence for a boy of his age to have to say. He spoke the words with tears in his eyes, with a quivering lip, and with so much pain in his voice that one would think the words had been expressed by someone way past his maturity level, someone who had experienced a lifetime of pain. One would never guess that the words had been spoken by a six year old boy with autism, someone who had never pieced together a full sentence before in his life.

Derek never even thought to applaud him for the good job on his speech; he had a feeling that Justin didn't want to be congratulated- he wanted to be reassured that he would be reunited with his mother sometime soon. He wanted someone to tell him that his mother was okay. He just wanted comfort.

So Derek took a few steps across the room, taking a seat on the bed next to Justin. He didn't say a word- merely reached his arms out, and without a second thought, Justin had pushed himself forwards, right into his father's embrace. He wrapped his tiny arms around Derek's neck, a tear rolling down his cheek as he cried against his father's neck. Derek could hear tiny little sobs coming from the smaller body in his arms, and he realized that seeing your own child in pain was truly one of the most horrible things one could ever experience. This was the first time that Derek had been forced to witness Justin in any real pain, and he knew without a doubt that he would never want to see such a thing again. This was beyond difficult; this was painful, for both him, and the six year old that was currently crying into his arms.

"You're alright, Justin," he said, speaking to his son like an adult for the first time ever. "You're okay. I know you really miss your Mom right about now, and... God, I miss her too."

He trailed off, his voice wavering slightly as he squeezed his eyes shut, suddenly hit with a massive wave of misery. He hadn't realized that he had missed Casey so much until he had admitted it out loud, but it was hitting him strongly now. He missed her. There had been a sick feeling in his stomach over the past two weeks, and he hadn't been able to attribute it to any one meaning. But now he knew; the sickness he felt was longing; longing for Casey McDonald. He missed the girl with all his heart, and her recent absence from his life was harder than he had originally anticipated. He didn't understand how he could miss her this much; he should have been used to the feeling. He had, after all, lived without her for seven years straight. But he knew that this was different because he had spoiled himself by allowing himself to be around her. He had been in her constant presence for two months. He was known as being a strong person, someone who didn't commonly show emotion...

But this was an exception to the rules, because this was about Casey. And Casey was always the exception to any previously made rules.

"I promise you I'm gonna try and get you out of here as soon as possible," he whispered, his voice low and determined as he pulled away from his son. "I'll come and see you every single day, in the meantime."

He knew one thing then, and one thing only. He had to find a way to get Vanessa to turn this whole mess around. She had started it, and if he could just convince her to talk to someone at this damn place, and convince them that maybe she had overreacted... they just might let Justin come home, right?

He sure as hell hoped so, because he wasn't sure how much more he could handle.

- - - -

Derek invited Vanessa over that night. Things had been awkward between them for awhile now, and everytime he looked at her, all he could think about was all the pain she had caused in his family. She had taken his son from the only person who could take care of him properly, aside from Derek. She had emotionally destroyed Csaey, and she had turned everyone's life completely upside down and backwards. And Derek resented that, he really did. He didn't understand how Vanessa could hold so much hatred for Casey; what had the poor girl ever done? Date Derek for a couple of years, back when she was a teenager? Accidently get pregnant with his child, and keep it from him for the greater good, for six years? Live, breathe, _what_? Casey McDonald was one of the sweetest and kindest people that Derek had ever encountered in his life, and for someone to hate her for absolutely no reason... well, he didn't sit well with that idea. Knowing that his own fiancee had intentioanlly caused harm to Casey just really got him mad, and he wanted to hit himself for even staying with her. She was a sorry excuse for a respectable woman, and she had certainly lost all of Derek's respect. He was a coward for not leaving her, and he knew it. For a guy who claimed that he would never allow anyone to step all over him, he sure as hell let Vanessa push him around an awful lot. He was ashamed of himself, and he felt like an idiot, but if Casey didn't want him, who did?

Yeah, he was definitely getting in way over his head here. He did alot of things with a half-mindset, but even he knew that marriage was something he should be sure of. Sort of like a tattoo.

Derek shook his head as he sat on his couch, listening to Vanessa rant on and on about flower arragements. Okay, if he was comparing his marriage to a tattoo, there was definitely something wrong.

"Vanessa," he said, finally holding up his hand to stop her from going on about whatever she was talking about. She paused for a moment, her lips falling into a frown as she gave her fiance a weird look, as though offended by his intentional interruption to her little tirade. Nonetheless, she fell silent as she waited for Derek to say something, something that had obviously been important enough to interrupt her.

He bit his lip, wondering if he should even bring up such a harsh subject. He didn't want to cause yet another fight; he was sick of those. But this was something that had to be addressed, and he knew he would never forgive himself if he didn't at least try to persuade Vanessa away from her hatred towards Casey. If he could do that, he might be able to convince her to do something that would bring Justin home to his mother. He knew that they both needed each other right about now.

"Vanessa, I know you hate talking about Casey and stuff, but... I sort of made a decision today," he started, watching as fear flickered through her eyes. He watched her carefully as he went on. "When they hold a trial to see if Justin can go back to her... I'm... I'm going to speak in her defense. I'm going to tell them that she's a good mother, and that she deserves to have her son back."

Vanessa was silent for a moment as anger flickered across her features, and she pursed her lips into a tight line, obviously not pleased with this new development in the slightest. Derek knew he was probably in way over his head here, but he didn't care. He had made a promise to his son, and he didn't plan on breaking it. Aside from that, he knew that he had to do the right thing, and that was definitely speaking in Casey's defense. He knew right from wrong, and he knew that what Vanessa was doing to Casey was definitely wrong.

Finally, his fiancee seemed to gather up her words enough to be able to form a sentence, and she folded her arms across her chest as she spoke, her voice tight and angry.

"You're speaking against me, then?" she questioned, and he didn't have to hesitate as he nodded, certain on his decision. She thought for only a moment, before giving a cold laugh, shaking her head bitterly at Derek.

"That's fine," she said, and he frowned, unsure of what the catch was going to be, here. "You go ahead and speak in her defense. But I hope you're prepared for what I'm going to do if you do."

Derek felt his body freeze, and he felt a sick feeling swirl in his stomach as he swallowed hard, wondering what Vanessa could possibly be talking about. She couldn't do any worse than she already had, could she? Her wrath of pure and total evil had to come to an end somewhere, and this just had to be it. She couldn't possibly inflict even more damage upon the family that she had already destroyed, limb from limb.

He shook his head, shrugging a shoulder absently as he tried his best not to act affected; like this didn't bother him in the slightest.

"What do you mean, what you're going to do?" he questioned, trying to sound off-hand. "What can you possibly do that hasn't already been done?"

She laughed, superiority flickering across her features as a cold smirk formed on her lips, and she gave the answer that he hadn't even anticipated, though he should have.

"I can press charges against your precious Casey, something I had previously refrained from doing," she said, sounding as though she was well aware that she had all of the control in this situation. "I said I wouldn't press charges, but you know damn well that I could. And, here's a newsflash; not only can I press charges against her, I'd win, and we both know that. I have the money to hire the best attorney, and what does she have?"

Derek stood up to eye level with her, his face red with anger as he narrowed his eyes, feeling his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe properly.

"She's got me!" he yelled at her, not noticing the flicker of fear that went through her eyes when the hatred shone through in his voice. "She's always got me. I've got just as much money as you, if not more. And let's not forget the fact that both Casey's father, and _my_ father are both lawyers. Money isn't everything, sorry to tell you."

"No, but power is," she laughed, as though his little tirade on money hadn't derailed her from her evil plot in the slightest. "Power is everything in the world, and you know I'm right on that. And who's got more power in this situation, huh? Some single mother living in what was probably formerly used as a crackhouse, whose morals and reputation have already been bashed publically over the past two weeks, or me? I'm world famous, _babe_. I've got more power than that girl will ever have, and that's why you're with me."

She stopped for breath, and she noticed that Derek's face wasn't filled with anger anymore. It was filled with mere confusion, and she seemed to realize that she had his attention, at the very least. Whatever she had just said had grabbed him, and hauled him in. And now that she had said attention, she obviously had no plans on letting it go. So all she did was take a deep breath, and carry on, wanting to make her point painfully valid.

"If you valued her so much, you would've been with her all along," she carried on, breathing hard. "You wouldn't have this huge apartment, or a small fortune in the bank. You wouldn't have cameras following you around everywhere you go, and you wouldn't be one of the most recognized faces in the music industry. That pretty little SUV you've got parked out in the parking lot wouldn't be sitting there right about now, because you know where that money would be? You'd have it all spent on sending that little brat to some therapy that probably wouldn't even pay off in the end. Same goes for every other luxery you have, Derek. You'd have none of it, because nobody would even know who you are, or give a damn."

His eyes were focused on her now, and he was completely silent as her voice lowered, and she shook her head at him, almost disgusted or ashamed.

"You think I'm a bad person because I'll do anything to keep my reputation squeaky clean," she said, her voice almost a whisper now- so that he had to strain to hear her. "Look in the mirror, pal- because you're doing the exact same thing to Casey as I am."

Derek snorted, folding his arms across his chest as he disregarded her last comment, personally feeling that this wasn't true; he'd never hurt Casey like Vanessa was; not intentionally.

"Hardly," he muttered, though his voice was not nearly as confident as it normally would've been. Willing himself to be stronger, he went on. "Face your own demons, Vanessa. You're the one causing Casey all of this trouble. It wasn't me that went running to the media with this story; it was you. You humiliated her, and you slandered her reputation to the ground, to the point that she can't even show her face in public anymore. You had her own son taken from her, Vanessa! Jesus, how low can you go? You left her all alone in the world, and-"

"God, Venturi... do you even hear yourself?" Vanessa cut him off, shaking her head as she narrowed her eyes at him. He fell silent, and her voice dropped as she shook her head with disbelief, obviously disgusted by his lack of observation skills. To Derek, Vanessa was just trying to belittle him, and make him feel like he was the one causing all of this mayhem, but he knew that she was wrong. He hadn't done a single thing wrong, had he?

But apparantly, Vanessa begged to differ.

"You're telling me that I'm the one who left Casey all alone in the world, and that I'm the one who is causing her all of this grief," she went on, watching his face carefully. "But in reality, I really think you need to backtrack for just a second, and take a good look at what _you've _done to help her out of this mess."

Derek was silent, and although no sense of power noticeably shifted between them, they both recognized the feeling that something had just changed; something had just clicked for Derek. Vanessa was a cruel, selfish, and lying bitch, but she had a good point. What had Derek honestly done to help Casey out of her situation? Sure, he had called her and tried to reason with her, but once she had refused to answer the phone, what had he done to repair things for her? What had he tried, to make all of this just a tiny bit easier on her?

The honest answer was that he had done nothing. He had stopped at the phone calls, and he had been too afraid to venture any further than that, with her. He hadn't gone over to her apartment, telling himself that he just didn't want to invade her privacy, but it was occuring to him now that maybe he hadn't been fooling anyone with this. Maybe everyone recognized something that he didn't; that he was no better than Vanessa...

Okay, so maybe he was better than Vanessa. Anyone with a shred of decency higher than Hitler's would be better than Vanessa, and he could admit that. But he hadn't exactly been the supportive man that he had thought he was being, either. He had tied to help her out by attempting to contact her. Verbal contact between the two of them would stay just where it was; between the two of them. The public's opinion on her would never change because of petty little words exchanged between Derek Venturi and Casey McDonald, over the phone. All he was doing there was supporting her emotionally. And sure, that was important too. A friend knew how to be there when times got rough, and when a couple of words of encouragement were needed.

But a friend also knew how to fight someone's battles when they were too weak to do it themselves, and he had never done that. He'd tried to get the media away from her house, but he'd never gone hugely public with his attempts to stop their constant slander of her reputation in the papers, and on the news. He had never once called up those newspapers and asked for a retraction of the story, or asked to give his side of the story, about how Casey was a good mother. He'd never publically taken her out of that apartment, and shown the world that it was okay to be seen with someone like Casey McDonald, that he still cared about her throughout it all. And for someone to take her hand, and show the world that they still cared about her... that she wasn't entirely alone... well, maybe that was all she really wanted.

And he knew now that he hadn't been nearly as supportive as he had thought he was being.

He shook his head, his eyes wide and his hands shaky as he looked back up at his fiancee, his eyes slightly hurt and lost. Everything had just sort of clicked into place for him, and he knew now that- for once- Vanessa's crazy theories were right. He was a coward, and he wasn't a true friend to Casey, no matter how much he wanted to be.

Vanessa seemed to realize that Derek had just noticed this himself, and she shook her head at him, perhaps the slightest hint of sympathy flickering through her eyes for her fiance's situation. Derek noted it, but in a moment it was gone, but what was important was that he had seen it there- he knew that she had to feel _something, _when she looked at him.

Even if he held practically nothing but resentment for her anymore.

"You created this life for yourself, Derek," was all she said, her voice nearly a whisper now, as she spoke all truth. "You can't blame anyone else for the way your life turned out. You're with me because, at some point down the line, you decided that power was more important to you than anything else. And look at us now; power couple of the year, about to be married. Is this what you wanted?"

Derek blinked at her, before shaking his head, backing up towards the door with a nauseated feeling in his stomach. He felt like he was about to be sick, and he felt like he could pass out at any given moment. She was right. He was a complete idiot for everything he had done, and he had hurt the only girl he really cared about. He had left her all alone in her time of need, and that very thought made him feel a self-hatred that he had never felt before- one that burned at his conscious, and at his insides.

He was an asshole.

"I have to... I need..." he started, but turned his head as he backed up towards the door, cringing. "I need some air."

And without another word he was gone, racing down the hallway of the apartment building towards the stairs.

He had someone he had to see, and he just hoped it wasn't too late to undo his wrongs.

* * *

**So there's the chapter. Next chapter will be all about Casey and Derek, and we'll see how Casey is holding up going into her third week without her son. Thanks for reading, and I hope you will review! I am excited for the next chapter, so hopefully my block will ease off! :) Thanks!**


	20. Alcohol

**Originally, this chapter was tons longer. But it got TOO long, so I was forced to cut in two. I'm sorry about the wait, but I've been studying for finals, reading some interesting books, and working alot... it's just been hectic. I'm sorry. Summer should bring quicker updates.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Twenty: Alcohol**

Casey was a wreck. When Derek had showed up at her apartment, fifteen minutes after he had escaped his own, he had fully expected her to slam the door in his face and completely ignore him. He had figured that she would quite happily freeze him out, like she had been doing successfully for weeks now. He hadn't really expected anything more than this from her, and in all honesty, he knew that this was all he deserved. Sure, he hadn't exactly caused her problems, unless he counted introducing her to Vanessa in the first place, but he had sure made them worse by not sticking by her side and showing her that he still cared. Therefore, if the girl had of slapped him, and then kicked him out of her apartment, his surprise wouldn't be all that overwhelming.

But she had surprised him by opening up the door and fixing him with a silent and emotionless look, before opening the door and stepping back to allow him to come inside. He had stepped into the still spotless apartment, and she had closed the door behind him without saying a word. He felt nervous, and he was sick to his stomach as he waited for the big blowup to occur. She had politely told him to go sit in the living room, and asked him if he wanted something to drink. He'd said yes, purely for the fact that he wanted a few seconds alone to think of what he was going to say to her. He really had no idea what he should even try saying to her, and he knew that she had every right to yell at him, and not listen to a word he said.

But luckily, Casey was more agreeable than that, and she hadn't resorted to those tactics; not yet, anyways.

"Here you go," she said, her voice quiet as she came back into the living room with a tall glass in hand. She handed him the drink, and he took a sip of the diet soda, leaning back against her couch as he placed his glass down on the endtable beside him. He relaxed against her couch, and sighed as he looked up at her. She was sitting with her arms folded across her chest, leaning back against the arm of the couch as she faced him, her eyes slightly narrowed. He didn't trust that look at all, but before he could say anything, she had spoken up, her voice almost completely void of emotion.

"Why are you even here?" she asked him, shaking her head with confusion. "Shouldn't you be with your fiancee? Your wedding is in... what? Three days?"

Derek hesitated, before nodding, his eyes carefully set on the woman in front of him. He wasn't sure if that had been meant as a bitter comment, though he was almost certain that it had.

"Yeah, I'm getting married in three days," he confirmed, sighing. "But that doesn't mean that we can't be friends anymore, Casey. I've missed you over the past few weeks, okay? I'm used to being around you every single day, and all of a sudden you were just... you weren't there. I didn't get to talk to you everyday like I'd been doing, I had no one to laugh and fool around with... and everything is just so different. You froze me out of your life Case, and that hurt."

She only stared at him for a brief moment, the remorse flickering through her eyes for just a split second of a heartbeat. Before he could try and decode this look, her expression had changed again, and she was shaking her head at him, her eyes almost angry, but not quite. It was a distant sort of anger, and it was like every emotion she tried to convey was coming out almost the same; it was like she just didn't care about anything anymore. And he couldn't say he blamed her.

"You say I froze you out?" she questioned, her voice wavering slightly on the words. "That's really funny, Derek. Because the last time I checked, it was you who had caused all this, not me. That night in the apartment, when it was just me, you and Vanessa. You had a choice that night, okay? You could have gone with her, or you could've stayed with me, and tried to listen to what had really happened. I know you wanted to know, because I know you don't believe her. But even with your doubt, you chose her. You didn't believe a word of what she was saying, but you still chose to be on her side instead of mine."

"You kicked me out of the apartment!" he reminded her, his voice surprised. "You did that, how could I fight you on something you were practically dead set on doing? You were shoving us out the door. How could I have stuck around to hear anything? Tell me, because I really wanna know."

She laughed softly, shaking her head as she rolled her eyes slightly to the side. He felt a small frown grace his lips, and he felt almost offended. It was like she felt that she knew so much more than him. And although he knew that she would never try and make him feel stupid, he felt like an idiot here. He felt like she knew so much more than he did, and that he was being lectured on some standard of morals that he would never fully understand. He felt like he used to feel back in high school, when he was the boyfriend of the smart girl. He'd never told her this before, but he had always felt so stupid when he was in school, constantly being outsmarted by his own girlfriend. They'd get a test back, and Derek would cherish the twenty five seconds in which she would still be waiting for her own. In those few moments, his mark would be considered good, and she'd often ruffle his hair and tell him that he was smarter than she gave him credit for.

And then she'd get her own mark back, and it would completely blow Derek's mark out of the waters. She'd turn to her friends to compare marks, and he'd be left feeling like second best, once again. And that was the exact feeling that he was getting right now, from both of the women in his life. Vanessa had outsmarted him, against all odds. She had shown him that he wasn't as good of a person as he thought he was. And she was right about that, but what was Casey getting on with?

He really had to stop letting girls get the better of him; it made him seem like an even bigger idiot than he really was.

"I kicked you out of the apartment because I already knew what your choice was," she explained, her voice knowing . "I could see it in your eyes, Derek, and in the way you were acting. Vanessa accused me of being... what was it? A violent and moody bitch, I think she called me? She made accusations that you knew in your heart would never be true, and yet you still stood there and questioned me. You asked if that was true, when you knew full well that it wasn't."

"I had to be fair-" he started, but she cut him off with cold laughter, shaking her head bitterly.

"You've been more than fair to her, I think," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "You may have improved since high school, but you've still got a really long way to go, Derek. Behind it all, underneath the facade that you're this amazingly supportive guy, I know that power still means everything to you. You were like a God back in high school. Everyone loved you, and you loved the status you got for it. And now, you're at the top of the music industry, and to me... you haven't changed. You've gotten an upgrade, and everything you valued seven years ago has just been... amplified. You're paid to be well-known now."

He shook his head, not wanting both girls to turn on him, and assume that he wanted nothing but power. That wasn't true; Casey was more important to him than power was, even if his actions hadn't exactly mirrored that statement lately. Casey was the most important thing in his life aside from Justin, and he knew that it was a horrible thing, but she was even more important than Vanessa was to him. In fact, he wasn't even sure if Vanessa fell under the category of important, anymore. He just held so much resentment towards her for all she had done over the past few weeks. Casey was the most important person in his life, and he knew that he had to convince her of that, in order to take care of her like he was supposed to do.

"Power doesn't mean everything to me, not anymore," he assured her, his voice desperate, needing her to believe him. "Casey... you mean everything to me."

She snorted, looking away, and he cringed as he realized that she thought he was an absolute joke. His words meant absolutely nothing to her, because all they were anymore were empty holdings, broken promises, tossed away and forgotten one after another. He couldn't blame her for not trusting him, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

He reached out, gripping her elbow gently, and for some reason his touch seemed to snap her right back into some form of common sense. The laughter died away, and the disbelieving look wiped off of her face immediately, replaced by a serious and grave look. He knew then that he had all of her attention, and that he would have to take advantage of that.

He kept his eyes serious as he took a deep breath, continuing.

"I mean it, Casey," he continued, needing her to understand this. "I know I may not always show it to you, and I know that I've been putting Vanessa ahead of you and Justin. But I... I was wrong, and I should've realized that alot sooner. I just had a little chat with her, and even she understood that I was abandoning you when you truly needed me. I haven't been a very faithful friend to you over the past two weeks, and if there's anything that I regret, that would definitely be it. I never wanted to hurt you; I hope you believe me when I say that."

She hesitated, biting her lip gently as his hand loosened it's grip on her elbow, running down her arm until he reached her hand. He laced his fingers with hers gently, squeezing her hand as he gave her a hopeful looking smile, trying not to look as nervous as he felt.

"Could you maybe consider... forgiving me? Or at least talking to me, or something?"

She tried to keep her gaze steady and determined as she watched him, but it was easy to see that her resolve weakened easily when he flashed her that hopeful looking smile, the one that made her go weak in the knees everytime she looked at him. He had always had a very charming smile, and this situation was no exception to his talent. Derek Venturi knew just how to get girls to forgive him, or do whatever he wanted, and that was a well known fact. He was too cute to turn away, with his shaggy brown hair, and his soft and begging eyes. He was like a puppy, almost.

"Derek," Casey said, a smile beginning to form on her lips as he pouted hopefully at her, his eyes wide. She laughed, shaking her head. "Derek, stop that."

"Stop what?" he questioned, acting as though he had no idea what she was talking about. "All I'm doing is asking you to be my friend again. Is that so much to ask?"

"You're pouting," she exclaimed, and when she noticed the smirk on his lips, she laughed slightly, pushing him away a little bit. "Derek, give it up! Be serious here! I want to work things out with you, but you're just not letting me do that."

The smirk disappeared as he sighed, allowing his body to relax a little bit as he fixed her with a more serious look, knowing when was the best time to just give into what she was trying to accomplish.

"Fine," he said, his eyes focused on her as he tried to prepare himself for whatever harsh accusations she would probably throw at him. "Go ahead. Hit me with your best shot, because I'm fully prepared to sit here all night and argue with you. I've got nowhere else to be. I'm not letting you freeze me out of your life; not at this stage in the game. We're too close to let something this silly come between us."

"Silly, Derek?" she repeated, hurt flickering through her eyes as any hint of a smile disappeared from her lips. "Is that what you think of my feelings? Because I'll have you know, it's not silly- it's how I feel, and I thought that you could at least respect that I have a valid reason to be angry with you."

"You do," he confirmed, nodding his head to show her that he agreed. "I can't deny that to you, or to myself. You definitely have a reason to be angry with me; several reasons, to be exact. I let Vanessa walk all over you, and I didn't stick up for you when I should have. I've been a horrible friend to you, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that. You know me, I hate showing emotion, but when it comes to this... dammit, Casey... I've got to say how I really feel."

She bit her lip, her eyes filled with slight hope, and yet resignation as she squirmed a little, trying her best not to appear too convinced of his remorse.

"And how do you really feel?" she questioned, as he let out a deep breath, moving even closer to her with his hand still clasped within hers.

"To be honest, I don't know the extent of what I really feel," he admitted, blushing slightly. "All I know is that... over the past two months you've become really special to me all over again. My whole life was just based on making money, and keeping other people's careers under control. I barely stopped to think about having a family or someone to come home to everyday... and it all changed when I ran into you in that coffee shop. We just started hanging out all the time, and then there was Justin... and I'd be in such a good mood every single day at work, because at the end of it... I'd always come to visit you guys. You two just made me change my entire perspective on my life, and if you take everything away from me now..."

"I understand how you feel, Derek," she said, nodding her head as she squeezed his hand gently. "I really do. I know how much everything has meant to you... you know, hanging out with me and Justin all of the time, being a father... but at the same time, I know in my heart that it's not going to work. Vanessa doesn't like me, that's something she's told me tons of times before. In fact, I think she's made her point quite clear to me."

She ended her little tirade on a bittersweet laugh, and he felt a chill go down his spine as he recognized the sense of bitterness in her laughter. He knew there was something else that she was hiding from him, something she wasn't sharing. Vanessa had a way of conning people into doing whatever she wanted them to do, and Derek knew that Casey would probably be no exception to this, once someone she loved had become an issue. And if Vanessa had done anything violent, anything at all, then Derek knew that Casey would've backed down, no matter how strong she tried to be. She was an amazingly strong woman, and she had always been proud of the fact that she didn't take shit from anybody.

But knowing someone so thoroughly could prove to be both blessing and curse, and because of that, Derek knew that he was going to be forced to accept that Vanessa, who he had formerly thought wasn't such a bad person, had done something wrong. There was something inside of him that told him that he had sort of suspected wrong-doing on his fiancee's part from the beginning, but he had hoped that it hadn't come down to violence, to show Casey how serious she had been.

He could see now that it had, and whether her violence had been towards Casey, or towards their son, it didn't matter. Both were the most important people in his lives, and if anyone so much as let a threat pass by their ungrateful lips, if someone so much as uttered a single hint of harm towards either of them, they'd most definitely pay. Derek didn't care who he was faced against in his quest to protect Casey and Justin; whether he being yelling at the media, or chasing off any potential threat to her... or whether he be making it very clear to his own fiancee that she was not to go near the two of them... he didn't care. Fiancee, or no fiancee, Vanessa held no right to threaten Casey, and he knew full well that that was what she must have done. For Casey to back down so willingly... so easily, without a hint of hesitation...

Okay, so there had been some hesitation. She had desperately wanted Derek to stay by her side that night, during those few moments in which their eyes had met in some sort of connective gaze. He had always been able to read her so well, and this had been no exception. Her eyes, usually so soft and inviting, friendly and warm, had been filled with a dark look, one that he shuddered to think about, even now. The look she had been fixing him with had been so fearful, so hopeful, and yet so knowing, that he had a feeling she had known he would walk away from her all along. If anyone could see how strangely the same Derek was, even seven years after graduating high school, it would be her. He had everyone else fooled into thinking he was some bigshot, some overly strong-headed man who was beautiful on both the inside and out. Society saw him as the perfectly built and stunning saviour, someone who never made a mistake, who was never wrong.

Casey saw him as the same man he had always been- the same man that she had first met nearly ten years ago now, at some last-minute get-together that their two parents had so wrongly assumed would give them all a sense of what it was like to really be a _family_.

If only they had known how wrong they were, Derek had a feeling that their parents would never have tossed the two hormonal teenagers into the same room that day. Their eyes had unwillingly met several times during those painstaking few hours, those few hours in which they were both trying to force their minds to accept what they would never, could never, be.

Family. The idea was crazy; it had been, right from the start. The very first bit of eye-contact the two of them had made, though only a slight glimpse in each others direction, followed by bowed heads and flushed cheeks- had set the stage for what their relationship would become, over the next few months. The unsettled look in his eyes everytime he looked at her... the look that she had misinterpreted for pure hatred for months upon end... had been the most intense look that any man, or otherwise, had ever fixed her with in her entire existance. His eyes had been so cold, so bitter, so full of an emotion that she had only hoped he could never feel for her- hatred. She had only assumed that she could have done nothing to earn this feeling from him; she had barely known him, after all. But the look had remained in his eyes throughout that entire night, and for a few months to follow. It had gotten to the point that she had been scared to look up at him, and had kept her gaze fixed on her dinner, on the table, the walls... anywhere but at the teenage boy who apparantly held such a strong dislike for her, for absolutely no reason.

And, although she had no way of knowing it at that time, in her lack of knowledge on the matter, that had been the way he had wanted it from the start. He had wanted her to fear him, to know that he was in control, that she could not manipulate him. He had figured out, by the time they got together, that his reasoning behind this had been pointless all along, for Casey had not caught sight of the very first glance he had shot in her direction, when she walked through the dining room of the restauraunt that the seven of them had crammed into for the nice little 'family get-together'. She had walked in with her mother and her sister on either side of her, though her tall figure was all that had stood out to Derek. Lizzie and Nora had been a mere blur in the background of something far more beautiful, something he had not witnessed before.

At first glance, he had been well aware of the fact that she was gorgeous. And he wasn't just talking about the average girls that he witnessed strutting around the school day in and day out, presenting their _almost_ flawless bodies in front of him, as though they were just praying, hoping, _wishing_, that they would get that chance to be the next girl to catch Derek Venturi's eye. He wouldn't deny that they were attractive- the girls he had dated before Casey- but until that day, he had never set eyes upon someone that had literally knocked the air out of him, that had rendered him so speechless that he was unable to even process a single thought. He had been staring at her from the moment she walked into the room, there was no denying it. He hadn't needed his father's quick whisper, alerting him that those were the girls, and that they were all to behave nicely. He wasn't aware of Marti commenting innocently on how Casey's nice purple and white long sleeve shirt had been pretty. He hadn't needed anyone to tell him, because he'd known.

And his eyes had given it away. In that split moment, they had turned from bored and annoyed, to warm and uncharacteristically soft, inviting. He had looked almost friendly, something that he had promised himself he would not be to the girl who apparantly had the nerve to come along and take over his spot as the oldest, to rip the throne out right from under his deserving ass. But despite his previous resignations, his eyes had betrayed him, and he had found himself gawking at her, ignoring everything around him. This girl could never, would never, be his sister. He didn't care if his father went ahead with the damn wedding. They could throw flimsy titles around all they wanted. Call him her stepbrother, but he would never, ever, possess a brotherly thought for this girl... no, woman, in front of him.

And during his mess of thinking, during his awestruck features and vows to himself to never see her as a brother... she had tripped and stumbled, a move that Derek would eventually grow to accept as completely something only Casey could do. The girl was an accident waiting to happen, and if someone denied that, then they seriously needed their eyes checked. The girl hadn't earned her evil nickname of 'Klutzilla' completely of Derek's accord, and they had both known that, no matter how much she had fought it.

But when she had stumbled, Derek had not been concentrated on her clumsiness. It hadn't been enough to avert his attention from her face, just yet. He hadn't immediately took notice of the way that the girl in front of him raised her gaze quickly to look Derek right in the eye, to see if this amazingly good-looking man had just witnessed her clumsy little mistake. No, it hadn't been until he noticed the blush in her cheeks that he had looked away, mumbling something about girls who couldn't even walk without tripping over their own two feet. Casey had blushed a violent shade of red, and lowered herself quietly into her seat. And from that moment on, Derek had been determined not to let her see that soft side again. He had done whatever he could to ensure that she would quickly forget his initial reaction to her, and know that he wasn't soft, he wasn't up for some touchy-feely brother-sister relationship.

And right now, as he stared into Casey's eyes, just slightly older now, but still just as beautiful as ever, he completely understood that she had caught onto his motive that day, even if she hadn't really taken notice of the first look in his eyes. It didn't matter; she knew how he was. She knew that he would do anything to keep his cover, to pretend like he was in control of his life, like he had everything so well put-together, so that nobody would see how terribly screwed up he was on the surface.

"You're right about me," he finally whispered, his voice harsh as he struggled to convey whatever emotion he was feeling right about now. "It scares me, that you know me better than I know myself, sometimes. I can make excuses all I want for not being able to predict Vanessa's actions, or your own actions, for that matter. But I could search forever, and never come up with a single reason as to why I don't know myself as well as you know me."

He was sure to keep distance between them, because touching her right now would break his resolve not to kiss her completely. Feeling her warm breath near his face would be tantalizing to him, and would only pull him in deeper than he already was. And he couldn't afford that; he was already fighting a losing battle, and he knew it.

"You know everything about me, and you've always been the first one to call me out on my bullshit," he got out, shaking his head as he shifted his feet nervously beneath him, it's only purpose being to distract him.

"Nobody else can do that, and that was something I always loved about my personality; it was unreadable. If I said something, people thought I meant it. There was no questioning whether or not I was being honest."

He paused momentarily, a tight smile pressing into the corners of his lips as he shook his head, his eyes glistenin as he locked his gaze with hers.

"Not you, though," he continued, not willing to give her a chance to interrupt. "You can always tell when I'm lying, and that's proved to be both a blessing and a curse, over the years." There was slight pause as he bit his lip, thinking on that for a moment before he went on. "I'm definitely thinking that it's a blessing, right now."

All anger temporarily forgotten, her broken and lost eyes looked up into his, and however much she had been through lately, even she couldn't mask the glimmer of hope that she was feeling as she listened to her ex-boyfriend's words eagerly, wanting to soak everything up, in case they never had a chance to have such a discussion again.

"Why is that?" she questioned, her voice almost a whisper now. "I don't see how me being able to see you as a liar is much good to you. It doesn't do much for my perspective on your character, I have to admit. "

He tried to act like it didn't hurt, to know that she saw him as dishonest, but he had been prepared for this question. He knew that she would not merely accept his statement, and move onto the next topic. No, he had known full well that she would want him to elaborate a little bit more, if only slightly. He figured that he had to answer her question, for silence would only anger her once more. Maybe, if he got out the answer as quickly as possible, it would no longer be so hard to face. Quick and almost painless, sort of like ripping off a band-aid.

He swallowed hard as he made a mental note to himself, a note to stay strong, not to make too much of a move on her. He might be masking his feelingss for her behind sugar-coated words and sweet-sounding apologies, but that didn't mean that he would ever make a move on her without knowing full well how she felt. If he knew she didn't want him, he would stay away from her. He cared way too much at this point, to hurt her like that, to do something that would leave her feeling even more confused than before. He was in way too deep, that even his stupid hormones couldn't overpower the strong urge he felt to protect her, even from himself. Vanessa's words had affected him deeply; he hadn't been a loyal friend, and he hadn't kept her protected from anything at all. And if he could protect her from even the confusion associated with what _they_ were... together...

Well, that was a start.

He slowly took a step forwards, his hands surprisingly steady as he reached out to touch the side of her face gently. He felt her tremble slightly beneath his touch, and her eyes seemed to jump with panic as he brushed the pad of his thumb along her skin, tracing along her jawline carefully. His eyes followed his finger for only a moment, before he gripped her chin steadily, and looked up into her eyes, shaking his head slowly, studying her carefully as though trying to read something in her eyes.

"You really have no idea how much has changed between us, do you?" he questioned, gentle laughter in his voice as he tilted his head slightly to the side, confused. Her eyes remained emotionless as he sighed, chuckling gently to himself, ignoring the frown that formed on her lips at his amusement.

"You're not as smart as I give you credit for, sometimes," he admitted, sighing carefully. "I can admit that. But you're a heck of alot smarter than me, and that's pretty sad. I've made some really stupid mistakes over the past few weeks, Case. I can be the first one to admit that. I was an idiot, and though I'll probably never admit it again, you were right in freezing me out."

Despite the circumstances, Casey laughed, her body relaxing slightly despite his touch.

"Wait a second," she interrupted, the amusement shining through in her voice, unable to hide beneath the facade. "Can I hear that again? For a second there, I thought I heard you say that I was right, and you were wrong. But my ears must be deceiving me, right? I mean, Derek Venturi couldn't possibly be admitting that I was right; not out loud anyways."

Despite himself, despite how much he wanted to stay in control, a tiny smirk graced his lips at her words, and he laughed, shaking his head at her.

"Like I said, I'll probably never admit this to you, or to anyone else again," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "But you _were_ right to freeze me out. If you hadn't, I probably would've questioned where a greater portion of your sanity lay."

Seriousness settled between the two of them again, and it was suddenly a necessity for Derek to send himself constant reminders to breathe. It was supposed to come naturally, but that was harder when Casey was standing mere inches from him, her face clutched beneath his hand as though he owned her. Her skin was soft and warm, and he wanted to pull away, but found that he couldn't. The need to touch her was too strong, too overpowering for him to even think about letting go. He needed her a hell of alot more than he cared to admit.

"You never answered my question," she finally said, her eyes raising to meet his as she cringed, obviously still allowing those thoughts to linger on her mins. "You never told me why you were glad I could tell when you were lying. I want to know."

"I can't tell you that," he said, shaking his head as he pulled his hand away from her cheek reluctantly, running it through his hair as smoothly as possible. He let the soft brown strands fall down around his eyes again, and he blew out a slow and patient breath, thinking hard about what had to be said, whether it be now or later. And quite frankly, he was definitely going to choose now. It was just easier than waiting for them to close up again, and then bringing out some dragged-out topic that would only cause things to be even more awkward, later.

"There's alot of things I need to tell you," he said slowly, and he was surprised to find that his voice was slightly strained, as though he was finding a hard time speaking. Regardless of the nature of his voice, he continued as though nothing had distracted him.

"My feelings have changed, and that's something I need to face myself, before I can come to you with it," he said, while knowing that he really had no more than the three days before his wedding, the three days he would need to think this over.

But honestly, he didn't think he'd be needing that much time. His mind was already set, for the most part. He just had to be sure he could do this. He needed to be sure that whatever he chose was the best choice not only for him, but for Casey, and their son as well. He had made alot of selfish decisions lately, and he knew that it was finally time to count the two of them into his life a little bit more than he had been doing. A whole lot more, actually.

"When I tell you, I want you to be able to look me in the eyes, and know that I'm telling you the truth," he said, shrugging his shoulders casually. "I don't want you to have to question whether or not I'm lying to you. I never want you to think I'm lying to you. You should always be able to look at me, and know I'll be honest with you. Because I care too much to hurt your feelings. And that's precisely why I'm so damn glad you can read me so easily. When I say something, there will be no doubt in your mind that it's true."

Casey bit her lip, and for one terrifying moment, he was worried that she would force him to say whatever it was that was on his mind. He wasn't ready to tell her what he felt for her, what he should never have felt in the first place, if he had just viewed her as a sister, like he was supposed to have done from the start. But of course, if he hadn't taken that path years before, the one that had led Casey right into his arms, if only for a year or two... well, he was frightened to know where he would have wound up. He most certainly wouldn't have been as sensitive as he was today, and though he hated emotions, along with any form of sensitivity, he was glad that he could feel something this strong. He had been numb to his own emotions for so long during his stupid little crush on Casey throughout high school. He'd dated girl after girl, never remembering their names, never calling them back for a second date. Except for Sally, of course. She had been the closest thing that he had ever found to what he had with Casey, followed immediately by Vanessa.

But neither of them could hold up against Casey. She won, on every single level he could summon up. If he were to question who he really wanted to be with, there would be no competition. That was Casey, and it always would be Casey. Maybe it always had been; he had just been distracting himself with thinking that Vanessa was the girl he was meant to be with. Sure, Casey wasn't the most obvious choice for him. She was his stepsister, his ex-girlfriend. They argued like over-tired pre-schoolers on any given day, and they could agree on practically nothing. He was outgoing and loud, whereas she was more drawn back and timid, keeping to herself alot of the time. They were total opposites, but they had _balanced_ each other out, and he was pretty sure that this was why they had lasted as long as they had. Derek had kept Casey from getting too boring; he would drag her to parties, he'd force her to take breaks between her studying, just to sneak in a few kisses, or to relax. And Casey... well, she had kept him in line as best as she could. He was difficult to keep track of sometimes, and he was most definitely not agreeable, at most times. But she had managed to get him to buckle down, if only a little bit, and concentrate on some more serious things, like school and their relationship. They had been perfect for each other back then, there was no denying that.

And Derek rather felt that this same analogy, of one of them completing the other... it could still hold true. Casey, however amazing of a mother she was, was literally _obsessed _with being just that- a mother. She didnt date, she rarely went out with any of the other women in the building, and she absolutely refused to budge on her strict rules that she had set down for herself. She was trapped within her own boundries- boundries she had set for herself, and it was only Derek who had been able to break down those walls, and show her that there was more to life than being a good mother. Yes, taking care of her son was extremely important, especially considering his condition. But taking care of herself was necessary too, and she wasn't doing that. She made sure she was healthy, made sure she was doing her job properly... this was true. She just didn't know how to have fun, and let loose every once in awhile.

For Derek, it was the opposite. He had been way too accustomed to the carefree, bigshot style of life that he had been living over the few years in which they'd been apart. He had it all; girls, looks, money, the perfect job. He realized that he must look like an absolute idea of perfection to anyone on the outside, someone who knew nothing about him. But it had been Casey who had filled him in on one little key aspect of his life which had been completely absent for years now. She had shown him that- although he had almost everything going for him, and although it seemed like his life was perfect, there was one thing he could never control- one thing he could never fix. He had never been a parent before he found Justin, and he had certainly never encountered autism so closely.

It had been happening so subtly that he had barely noticed how badly they had needed the others presence in their lives. He barely noticed how quickly he reacted now, when he spotted Justin in any immediate danger. He didn't think anything of Justin having a tantrum- getting embarassed over such a thing was something that was merely a shadow of his past; it was just something that happened, by now. It was absolutely second-nature to him to bring Justin's lunch to him in the same bowl every single day, drape the same blanket over him at night. He understood his son's needs. He knew how to take care of the one person who had once held so many mysteries, held so much confusion in those dazzling blue eyes he possessed- his mothers' eyes. He had been like one of those thousand piece puzzles, when Derek had first set eyes on him. He had seemed to be all over the place, and he couldn't see how something so confusing could ever amount to anything of value. But, much like a puzzle, once all the pieces had fit together, once he had stopped trying to force together pieces that did not belong- or rather, force Justin to act like any normal six year old, in lighter terms, everything had been fine. Nothing seemed complicated, nothing seemed difficult.

And Casey; the girl had changed just as much as he had. Sure, she was still the same overprotective and crazily obsessive mother that she had always been, but she had lost that edge that made her out to be nothing more than a mother. She took care of Justin just as well as she always had, but she knew how to have a bit of fun. Derek had convinced her to leave the house, to get out and enjoy life. He had shown her that there was more to being a parent than just looking after Justin; they could all have fun together too. She smiled more now, and if anything, this was well worth the hard work and effort he had put into making her happy. He loved seeing that smile on her face, the tiniest physical sign that something he had done had been right- that, somewhere down the line, he was on the right track. He was keeping her somewhat happy.

His hand, which had been resting so gently and carefully on her waist, slowly trailed up her side, tickling her skin beneath the black material of the t-shirt that his hand rested on. He was well aware of the fact that she was breathing heavily, and that her eyes were slightly nervous, as though she was unsure of how to react to the fact that Derek was so near to her- so close... it would be so easy to reach out, and place her hand on the back of his head... to haul him closer, to close that tiny fraction of space that kept the two of them from merging, from crossing that line... from going too far.

A tiny gasp passed through her lips, and he sensed what she was feeling. He knew that he was messing with her mind here, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted Casey to be comfortable with anything that they did, and if that meant he had to refrain from touching her like he wanted to, then so be it. He may be a man, but he had some level of self-control, even when it came to Casey. One would think that his self-control would be weaker around her, the one girl he really wanted... but it was quite the opposite. His desire to keep her safe, to keep her happy... it overpowered any amount of desire that grew in the pit of his stomach, that kept him awake at night.

Because Casey was more important to him than that. He'd already lost her once, he didn't intend on doing so again.

Knowing the effect that he was having on her, he abruptly relaxed his hand against her neck, his smallest finger brushing against her neck gently as he continued to watch her eyes, which never left his face. Realizing that he had her completely nerve-wracked, he smirked a tiny bit, apparantly finding this slightly amusing.

"I know I'm good looking, but really, Case... do I make you this nervous?" he asked, using his free hand to find her shaking one. He gave it a slight squeeze, the amusement in his eyes as she blushed, turning her head to the side as though she was embarassed by her own display of nerve-wracking emotion. He quickly laughed, breaking down some of the tension between them. His hand squeezed hers, and he leaned forwards slowly, his hand leaving her shoulder as he placed his hand as carefully as possible on the side of her head. He didn't give her a chance to say anything, before he swooped down and pressed his lips to her cheek, closer to the corner of her mouth than anything else. He felt her body tense as his warm lips rested on her skin, waiting for a reaction. But she only relaxed when he pulled back, hand still on the side of her head, and he felt a smile tugging at his lips as he let the disappointment flicker through him; she didn't trust him completely, not yet. He could tell by the more than reluctant response she had given him to his friendly little kiss, just now.

"You're tense," he murmered as he shook his head at her, pulling back to put some distance between them. "Relax, okay? Any other day I'd be fighting to get you to shut up. Right now, I'm beginning to wonder if your heart is still beating at all. Honestly, Casey; you're as white as a ghost, right now. Speak, would you?"

A smile finally formed on her lips, and it was almost a subconcious effort to release the breath that he had been unaware of holding, all this time. What he had been holding out for, he wasn't sure. He had almost been convinced that she had not forgiven him yet, that she was going to haul back and slap him, or kick him out of her apartment once more. But whether this gesture of simply removing him from her home was just overused, or if she actually wanted him there with her, he didn't know. All he knew was that, although she didn't appear to be completely forgiving towards him, she seemed like she could accept what he was telling her, and what he was trying to do.

"Relax, I'm still breathing," she joked, and he merely shook his head at her, laughter slipping past his lips. "You're saying you want a second chance, is that it?"

Her question was mostly only for reassurance purposes; she wanted to know exactly what he wanted from her, and although he wanted so much more from her, hell, scratch that- although he _needed _so much more from her, he didn't intend on springing it on her right away. He wanted to give her awhile to get used to having him around again, because he was definitely picking up on the sense that he was not completely forgiven; he was still lingering somewhere between a friend, and a liar. And he definitely didn't want to be the liar she assumed he was. Sure, he was well aware that he only had three days to convince Casey of his feelings for her, but it could be done, right?

So he nodded his head, his brown hair drifting down in front of his eyes, shielding one of them completely from her view. In the other eye, she caught sight of the relieved expression he wore, at the chance of having a second chance to be good to her, to prove himself worthy, and he thought he saw a hint of amusement in her eyes, at this. Almost as though she knew full well she could ask him to just about anything right now, and he'd probably do it. She had this man at her total control, and until the words had escaped her lips, until she had verbalized her confirmation that he was entirely forgiven... he would be on edge.

And that gave her a weird sense of pleasure, knowing that she held the power over him, for once.

"I guess I can give you that second chance, if you promise to behave," she said, the tiniest hint of happiness in her voice as he grinned, and she blushed slightly, laughing.

"You'll be the death of me, Venturi," she assured him, shaking her head. "You and your sweet talking. I swear, you could manipulate just about anyone with that smile."

He was sure to flash her the mentioned smile then, and he was well aware of the fact that her eyes softened even further under the gaze he fixed her with. He laughed, taking a step towards her and placing his hand once more on her waist, so softly that it could've almost have been mistaken for an accidental slip of the hand- something he hadn't really meant to do. But the fact that he kept his hand there indicated that he had meant to place his hand there, that he had purposely touched her, that the pounding of her heart in her chest was completely his fault- even if she'd never admit that to him. It didn't matter anyhow; they both knew exactly why she looked so nervous, and there was no denying that Derek's words had affected her, on a whole new level. That didn't have to be verbalized, for they both knew it full well.

As he was thinking, Derek's eyes unwillingly travelled to the kitchen counter, usually displaying a scattered noodle from a box of Kraft Dinner, or at the very least, a slight trail of juice left behind, if Justin were to grab onto his glass too quickly.

But the counter held none of these items now. Kraft Dinner and fruit juice was far from either of their minds, and although neither of them would admit it, their unwillingness to admit the differences in the apartment had been born from their unwillingness to mention any trace of Justin's absence. Making note of any difference in the apartment would just remind them that their son was alone tonight- he was in a place full of people who didn't _really _care about him, who didn't really feel like dealing with him. He was alone somewhere, perhaps wondering why his parents weren't with him, why he was so alone, why he hadn't seen home in weeks.

And there was nothing that they could do about it.

But as Derek's mind got back on track, he caught sight of what _was_ resting on the counter- something he had never seen- nor expected to see- in Casey's apartment, esepcially. Resting along the countertop, in a straight line against the pale wall that met the black of the countertop, lay several bottles of alcohol- most unopened. One or two looked like they may have had a few sips stolen from them- almost as though they had been quietly opened by a teenager, eager to have their first taste of alcohol. Derek knew that Casey wasn't big on drinking, not at all, and he suspected that the little bit of tolerence that she had once held for the substance was now completely gone, with a six year old boy to raise. She would hardly have time for alcohol, with a son who required so much constant and careful attention.

But here was the evidence, plain in front of his eyes. It wasn't a whole lot of alcohol, he supposed. Enough to get drunk off of for a few nights, but it wasn't to any serious extent. He wasn't about to slap an alcoholic label on her forehead, especially considering that most of it looked untouched. But this was definitely weird for Casey, and he couldn't let himself rest until he had questioned it aloud.

He raised an eyebrow as he turned back to her, easy laughter slipping past his lips as he gave her a knowing look.

"Going on a drinking binge, Case?" he questioned, and her eyes glazed over with confusion, for only a moment. The confusion disappeared the moment he nodded towards the counter, suggestion in his eyes. Understanding dawned across her flushed cheeks, and if possible, they turned even more scarlet under his gaze. She shook her head, not even bothering to look over her shoulder at the alcohol. He had pulled himself away from her completely now, and was standing with his arms folded, shaking his head.

"Really, I thought you were above all that," he joked, and she rolled her eyes, sighing.

"It's just stuff I had there, from awhile ago," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. "I had Justin sent off with Mom and George for the weekend, and a few friends of mine came over. Let's just say they brought alot more alcohol than necessary, and none of them thought to bring it back with them. It's been in the cupboard ever since."

"And you haven't drank it yet?" he questioned, brushing past her quickly to make his way towards the kitchen. He stopped in front of the countertop briskly, running his finger along a bottle that lay, unopened, on the counter. He shook his head, sighing as he realized Casey still had that touch of a goody-goody in her.

"Geez Case," he said, shaking his head. "Free alcohol; where can you go wrong? I'm sure Justin's been out of your hair a few times since then. Honestly, you've got the scent of a goody-two shoes about you, even now."

She laughed, and came to a stop at his side as she leaned against the cupboard, one elbow leaning against the surface as she looked up at him with raised eyebrows.

"And you smell like trouble," she pointed out, as he examined the bottle with interest. "Don't think I don't know what's going through your head right now, Venturi. The answer is no, in case you can't read me as well as I can read you."

His eyes instantly filled with disappointment, and he gave her a hopeful look, a sexy little smirk settling on his lips before he could stop himself. He gripped one of the smaller bottles in his hand, holding it out towards her hopefully. The resolve was still in her eyes, but he noticed how much it weakened when he shifted ever so slightly towards her, temptation lingering in his eyes. He had never been one to pass up free alcohol, but he had always been one to convince Casey into doing something she thought was too risky, too far outside her preppy boundries. And this would be no exception.

"Come on, Casey," he said, his voice low and almost demanding as he fixed her with a hopeful look, shaking his head. "It's just sitting there; it's free. Tell me, when was the last time you drank?"

His free hand moved up to curl a strand of her hair around his finger. She tried not to let it distract her, but her eyes wandered unwillingly to the finger that threaded her hair so carefully against his skin, into a perfect curl. She watched as he unravelled it, and it slowly wound back into it's original position, though somewhat curlier than before, through Derek's touch.

"Awhile ago." Her voice was a whisper as she admitted this to him. His smirk never faded, for he knew by the weak whisper of her voice that she was already breaking down, she was going to give in.

"And tell me," he said, his voice smooth and almost musical as he raised an eyebrow at her suggestively. "Do you honestly think the oppurtunity will come up again soon, once Justin comes back?"

There was a slight flicker of pain in her eyes at the mention of her son, but he didn't have time to feel very sorry for it, for she quickly shook her head, swallowing hard as he reached over, grabbing another bottle off of the countertop with ease, his hand sliding so easily back to her that she could've sworn he hadn't moved at all. She felt the cold surface of the bottle press into her palm as he took the final step towards her, their chests touching now. He could feel her chest rising and falling quickly as she struggled to breathe right, and he smirked under the knowledge that he had this affect on her.

"And tell me one more thing, I swear it'll be the last," he said, his voice almost inaudible now. She looked frightened, but he didn't bother to reassure her as he shook his head, shrugging his shoulders.

"When was the last time me and you did something like that together, huh?"

He didn't need to ask. She wasn't the only one who could read the other, when need be. He knew from the lack of resolve in her eyes, and from the slight hitch in her breathing as he placed his free hand on her waist, that no thoughts of resisting were even coming to her mind anymore.

She was sold.

* * *

**I actually put a bit more effort in on this chapter, because I felt terrible for my lack of updating. I hope it came through! Review please!**


	21. When Morning Comes

**This was originally part of the last chapter, which was sad because I actually had to cut more off this chapter too. Oh well. Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Twenty-One: When Morning Comes**

If there was one thing Derek had forgotten about high school, and about all the times he had shared a few drinks with his presently ex-girlfriend, it would be how completely out of hand Casey could be when she was drunk. She didn't drink often, and usually when she did, she didn't go all out. There had been plenty of mornings that Derek would wake up not remembering a single thing from the night before, except for the fact that he had seen Casey ducking out of the room numerous times throughout the night, obviously nowhere near drunk. He was never sure why these memories stood out in his mind, but he figured that it was because hers was the only serious face in what was usually a crowded room of his drunken friends. She would be the only smart one, the only responsible one... and that usually left her being the only sober one.

But Casey wasn't a complete pushover. There had been times when she had drank even more than Derek had, and wound up completely and totally wasted. She usually only did this when she was only drinking with Derek, nobody else. He wasn't sure, but he was pretty sure that this had something to do with some trust issue she'd always had. She didn't like being in such an incapacitated state around so many people, many of which were usually strangers, when they were at parties together. He knew that she didn't like the idea of not having a clue what she was doing, or agreeing to, when she was around people she really had no understanding of. He couldn't say he blamed her, because he knew that some of the parties they'd gone to in high school had also brought some pretty weird people. There was always one or two people that nobody could recall inviting, in their present state of mind at least. Half the time, they wouldn't even be from their school, but rather from Jefferson, or some other high school across town. That only made them all the more mysterious, to Casey, considering the fact that nobody knew who they were, what their reputation was, and what they had done in the past. Nobody else got too overly worked up over it, but Derek knew that Casey took every safety precaution necessary, and he could always tell by the look in her eyes when she didn't trust someone. And she definitely wasn't in the most trusting of moods when she was at a party filled with drunk teenagers, none of who had the vaguest idea what they were doing.

But with Derek, it had always been different. Even throughout the intense fighting and the complete hatred of the first few months, however false that hatred may have been, the two of them had grown to trust each other, before they had even come forward with their feelings. It was the way that they both understood, in full, that despite all of their fighting and bickering, and despite the way they had both always claimed not to give a damn about what happened to the other... they cared. Derek cared deeply about Casey, and she cared about him just as much, even if it had taken them ages to admit it. Derek would never let harm come to her, that much had been made clear by the nice little things that he had done for her over the period of time that they'd so wrongly been thrown into the same household, forced to unite under the same roof as some twisted form of a family. That, of course, had never worked, but it had definitely given Casey and Derek the chance to see that they were there for each other, unconditionally. And for that reason, Casey seemed to trust Derek more than she trusted anyone else around her.

Well, back in high school, anyway. Right now, he rather felt that the girl barely trusted him at all, even if she claimed to have forgiven him for all that he'd done. He didn't even forgive himself for what he had done, so he in no way expected Casey to do it so quickly. He would question her sanity, if she so quickly dismissed his wrongs, just like that.

Derek had been uncertain at first, whether or not this would be one of those nights where she would just go completely over the top, and lose herself. When Casey got drunk, she got _really_ drunk, and Derek completely understood that it was usually in his best interests to stay at least semi-sober when she was totally wasted, to prevent her from doing anything too stupid. She had been known to fall down alot, and that was just when she was sober. When she was drunk... she was stumbling all over the place, her feet would make complicated patterns across the floor, usually resulting in Casey landing flat on her face, at some point. She always laughed it off, but even a drunk Derek didn't have the heart to stand by and watch Casey get hurt. His protective instinct over the girl was more than a concious attempt now. The protection he sought out for her tended to linger even when he was in no state of mind to be thinking much of anything. It was more of a sub-concious thing by now, and it had been a long time ago when he had made the choice to refrain himself to just a few drinks, whenever she decided she was going to let loose a little bit.

Tonight was absolutely no exception. They had started out slow, talking amonst themselves as they casually took a few sips of their drinks, Casey's sips more hesitant and reluctant than his own. He could tell by the hesitation that her blue eyes held that she was unsure about this. He would've felt bad for manipulating her into drinking at all, if he didn't know that her hesitation was only derived from the fact that she wasn't used to drinking. Alcohol was pretty much a thing of the past, when you had an autistic child to raise all alone, day and night. The attention that Justin required was by no means his own fault, but it was definitely what kept his mother from having much of a social life.

And by the time she'd gotten two or three drinks into her, she seemed to realize that exact point; her son was gone. She wasn't going to get an opportunity like this for awhile, and while she would prefer to have her little boy home again, safe and sound, there was no reason why she couldn't take advantage of this one night where she could let loose a little bit. Derek had always brought out a bit of a wilder side of her, a side that she hid from the rest of the world. He was the only one that had ever witnessed the spark in her eyes, and the unfamiliar curve of her smile whenever she was actually having a good time. Her expression was completely different tonight than it usually was. Around anyone else, she would smile as best as she could, and pretend like she was actually having a good time. With anyone else, her dazzling blue eyes would appear as two pools of sparking blue, quite content with whatever she was doing. But when she was with Derek, there was no need to fake the smile. It was real, and nobody could deny that the gleam in her beautiful eyes was absolutely genuine. She was really enjoying Derek's company tonight.

"Der," Casey murmered, as she clutched the bottle in her hand a little bit tighter. "Derry, did you know the ceiling is spinning?"

Derek, out of sheer stupidity, not to mention the fact that he had a few drinks in him himself, looked up blankly at the ceiling, as though expecting to see it spinning in circles. He immediately recognized how stupid of a reaction this had been, and he wanted to slap himself for being such an idiot. The ceiling wasn't spinning; Casey was just ridiculously creative when she was under the influence of alcohol. This wasn't the first time that night that she had pointed to an obejct, and claimed it was moving. This was usually followed by amusing spurts of laughter, and shame for believing her, on Derek's behalf.

"Nothing's movin', Case," he assured her, his arm sliding almost gracefully over his shoulder as he balanced his drink in his free hand, trying his best not to let her constant movement disturb it. He didn't want to spill it all over her, or all over himself, for that matter. He didn't really have a change of clothes with him, and he most definitely wasn't in any state of mind to be driving back to his apartment to get changed, now. He was here for the night, and he was well aware of that. He'd drive home in the morning, when the effects of the alcohol had worn off. It wasn't like he had consumed much alcohol to begin with, but he was completely against drunk driving, and he knew that accidents could happen in a split second. Flipping through newspapers everyday to try and find what the latest rumours about his clients were had unfortunately led him to come across other stories- stories he had never wanted to hear about. And he was always surprised by how many deaths could've been prevented- by how many people were actually stupid enough to get behind the wheel when they were drunk. That, personally, was a choice that Derek would never make, and he was proud of himself for it.

But just because he wasn't about to drive home drunk, didn't mean he wanted alcohol spilled all over his pants, either.

"Relax, would you?" he murmered, squinting as she leaned into his side, making the hold he had on her all the more tempting. His arm was curled perfectly around her shoulders, his fingers brushing against her bare skin, revealed as a result of the tank top she was currently wearing. He tried not to notice the fact that one of the straps of the top had slipped down, and was dangling loosely against her arm. She hadn't seemed to pick up on this fact yet, and merely took another sip of her drink, swallowing quietly. He always found it amazing how she managed to look graceful when she drank. He'd been around enough women in his life to know that they weren't all this careful with themselves. Derek had gone out with a girl back in high school- Lauren, he was pretty sure her name was, though his memory could not be completely certain on the assumption- and she had been the most sloppy drunk he'd ever had the misfortune of meeting. He'd only gone out with her three times, and all of these dates had taken place at mutual friend's parties- places where he could be with her, without really _being_ with her. Places where he could try his luck, get what he wanted, and yet still manage to blend in with a crowd. It was somewhere where nobody was able to penetrate his mind, and dig deeper into the matter of how he really felt.

Nobody had known how he really felt. If there was one thing that Derek Venturi had been known for, it was the fact that he never took his dates anywhere private- unless it included his own bedroom, later on in the evening. That was different, though. The bedroom, he was comfortable with. Kissing, he was comfortable with. It had been something of a second-nature to him since he had first hit puberty, when the girls had first started clinging to his arm like he was some sort of God. The rumours that circulated around the school- the ones that had existed since the seventh grade- they were all true, for the most part. He was an excellent kisser, and if a girl was lucky enough to score a date with him, it was almost gauraunteed that you would be back in school on the following Monday with a story to tell- of how you'd been that lucky girl, the one Derek had chosen to take out Friday night. The one who had stumbled up into his bedroom, drunk, on yet another Friday night.

And then, the following Monday would come, and any chance of recieving some rare phone call from Derek Venturi would disappear from their minds. Because they'd hear some other girl walking down the hallway with her friends, that illuminating look in her eyes as she rambled on about how _she'd_ been the one lying on Derek's bed the previous Friday, staring around the four walls that someone else had memorized so intently only a week before. And they would know then, that they were never getting another chance with their dream guy. He didn't understand how they had not figured it out sooner, or why- if they had- they had kept on asking him out like they did. He was clearly bad news, right?

But it didn't seem to matter to these girls. Each and every one of them would spend the few days following their own date with Derek, waiting so impatiently for that phone call, a phone call that Derek rarely ever made, unless he was really stuck in a slump for his weekend plans. Lauren had been one of those girls. She may have thought that she had been one of the lucky ones- the one that had finally caught Derek's attention, but really... he'd had nothing better to do. If it had been his choice, she would've been one of the first to disappear from his mind, as cruel as that sounded. He liked to forget about them quickly, and shove them so far away that they would understand there was never a chance for them again. That was how he had functioned. He hadn't _liked _being a heartbreaker- no, on the contrary. He hated seeing the hurt looks that he forced girls to wear time and time again, week after week, date after date, everytime they came to the conclusion that they weren't different, they weren't special, to Derek, anyways. They had just been another girl to him, another person he had used to relieve his mind from the pain of being kept from who he really wanted to be with. They would never be aware of the last part, of course, but it had been the truth. He only went out with so many girls because he wanted to forget about her.

Okay, a large part of it may have been because he was a teenage boy, and he couldn't deny that. At sixteen, it was unlikely that he would've hurled himself into a corner, swearing himself to a life of innocence forever, just because he had fallen in love with his stupid stepsister. He hadn't been in that deep, at the time. He had dated other girls to keep himself satisfied, as well. Of course, like he had told Casey afterwards- he rarely went too far with him, to a place that he couldn't return from, without the girl thinking he had made some sort of emotional committment. Casey had only been the third girl that he'd ever had sex with, and he had never regretted what he had done with her, like he had with Kendra and Sally, before her. The regret that he had felt after being with them had been so strong that it had almost been painful.

And it had been immediate. God, had it ever. He'd almost felt guilty before he'd even made the move. He could remember very clearly the first- and last- time that he'd been with Kendra. It had been dark in his room at the time, and although he couldn't remember all of it- something that meant so little had not stayed in his memory for long- he remembered the important bits. He could remember Kendra telling him that she'd done this before, and for reasons that he had never understood, he had found himself whispering back against her ear, breathing hard. He had murmered something about how she wasn't his first, either. But she had been. And maybe he'd been thinking through his hormones, maybe he'd just wanted to get it out of the way...

Maybe he'd just been thinking of someone else the whole time, squeezing his eyes shut tight as he imagined those crystalline blue eyes gazing up at him, the murmer of Casey's voice as she whispered to him that she loved him too, of course she loved him, too. Because hell knows that his world would've come crashing down if she had ever told him otherwise- if he had announced his feelings to her, made them public, and have her completely reject him. Living in a world where his feelings were hidden, and where he was forced to make himself happy with other girls, who meant nothing to him... well, it was difficult. There was always an aching in his chest, one that reminded him every single day that he was in way too deep, that he was becoming too soft for his own good. Being soft was something that he had always imagined to be a curse. Who wanted to be so openly vulnerable like that? Being soft meant that you were more easily subject to pain, to heartbreak, if you were to have someone like Casey turn their back on you, and walk away. Being soft was not something that he had ever planned on becoming.

But still, it didn't change a thing. He found himself imagining that voice in his head- so perfectly imitated that it was almost real. Soft and musical, almost, as he heard the words he longed for, the words that he had been wishing for her to say for such a long time now- ever since that day at the restauraunt, when she'd stumbled. She'd stumbled alright, right into Derek's small pile of people he actually cared for. She'd done nothing to earn her place there except exist. It wasn't logical for Derek to love her, because she had done nothing all that great for him. In fact, all she'd done during those first few months in which she had lived under his roof- was remind him of just how much his very existance had bothered her.

He had brushed off every comment she made with an annoyed roll of the eyes, an uncaring grunt, a wave of the hand... or when she said something really hurtful, he would respond with the easiest response of all, yet the hardest all at once. He would say nothing. His usually brilliant brown eyes would turn into the deepest shade of black, and he would stare straight ahead, seemingly uncaring, as he tried to ignore the burning in his chest- the one that signalled to him once more about how deep he had pulled himself into this mess. He had fallen for her, and he had fallen hard. To hear her say that she wished he had never been in his life, that she felt he lived to annoy her... and the worst, that she _hated_ him... it had always cut like a knife, taking another slash at his unworthy and accustomed skin- each one hurting less and less, as though each comment she threw at him had merely piled on top of the one before, and the one before that. They added up until they were something like a shield, protecting every inch of his mind, of his physical being...

-but never protecting his heart. Nothing had done that, until his lips had finally met with hers for the first time, on the night of their first date. The contact had been more real, and yet more frightening, than anything he had ever felt before in his entire life. His eyes had been closed, but he had found himself wishing that they didn't have to be- because his eyes being open came too close to resembling sleep. He didn't want it to be a dream- he hadn't wanted to open his eyes to see that it was all fake, that he had been imagining the whole thing out of some sick, subconcious wish to kiss his stepsister.

But her lips had been warm against his, and he had never quite forgotten the feeling of her fingers tracing the outline of his smooth face, her fingertips skimming along every possible angle of his face, as his own hands trailed as carefully as possible along the slight sliver of skin between her jeans, and her jacket. Even now, after he had been with different girls, felt other hands upon his skin than her own... he would never forget the way she felt against him. He would never be able to shove away from his mind the memory of kissing Casey so passionately, so recklessly, and yet so calmly, all at once. Kissing her for the first time had been an awakening for him. The black hole that had been home to nothing but nausea and lonliness for months and months, the one that had kept him awake at night, kept him from opening up to anyone... that had kept him from being himself, had finally been filled. It was at that moment that he had understood what Casey was to him. He didn't believe in all that soulmate crap, he really didn't. You wound up with someone because you chose things that made it that way. Yeah, sure, he believed that maybe some people were meant to be with each other, but it would never work if those two people made the wrong choices. Like breaking up because of such a small inconsistancy like university. Like hiding a son from the other one, out of some foolish idea of protection.

Like proposing to another girl, when you were so completely head over heels in love with the one you never should've left in the first place.

And suddenly, Derek was staring at Casey with a gaze he hadn't worn in years now. His eyes were a mixture between shock and realization- two emotions that he rather felt he'd felt too much of today. But this was different; this was the kind of realization that hadn't hit him in such a long time... maybe even since that day in the restauraunt, when he'd realized that Casey was more to him than a stepsister, before he'd even gotten the chance to speak with her. Before he'd even remembered her last name.

"Casey," he suddenly choked out, the one or two drinks that had been in him before suddenly seeming worthless, pointless, completely incapable of knocking this feeling out of him. He'd barely been drunk to begin with. Sure, he could still taste the alcohol on his lips, he could still feel the slight buzz that it had given him, and his cheeks were flushed, though he suspected that had nothing to do with the alcohol at all, but more because of the fact that he had just come to the realization of how much of an idiot he really was.

Casey, God love her, was as oblivious as they came when she was drunk, and she merely raised her eyebrows, tilting her head towards Derek slightly as she gazed at him through her drunken stupor, too intoxicated to think straight, or else voice a sensible statement.

"Yes?" she questioned, interest playing on her words as she gave him a curious look. "You gonna drink that?" The question was accompanied with a quick nod towards the half empty bottle clutched in his hands, his knuckles white as he struggled to hold onto it as tightly as possible. He quickly loosened his grasp, not wanting to break the bottle. He hadn't realized how tightly he had been holding on.

Shaking his head, he leaned forwards to place the bottle down on the coffee table, before returning to her, his eyes gazing at her intently as he struggled to figure this out. He had to tell her. Consequences be damned, she had to know what she meant to him, what he would risk if it meant being with her in the end.

How could he do that when she was so stupidly drunk?

"I'm not finishing it, but neither are you," he said, surprised when he didn't stumble over his words one bit; maybe he was more sober than he had given himself credit for. "You've had enough to drink already, okay?"

A frown creased upon her lips, and he knew instantly that she would fight this, that she would want more to drink. Forget that she had already downed her own alcohol quicker than he had consumed his two bottles- forget that there was actually no alcohol whatsoever left on her counter, with the exception of the leftover drops in the bottoms of the once-full bottles. She was going to be as sick as a dog in the morning, and he was suddenly glad he would be there to help her. She had always gotten the worst hangovers. That, he could remember about her.

"C'mon," Casey laughed, as she reached forwards for the bottle, her arm falling lazily over the side. She looked back at him, confused as to why he would not let take it. "Lemme have it, m'kay? You were the one who told me to have some fun. Where's the fun in this? I want my booze!"

Derek couldn't help but laugh as he tilted himself forwards slightly, his arms wrapping around her waist as he pulled her back to him, flush against his body as the frown disappeared, and was replaced with a cute little pout. The laughter that escaped from his lips was so real that it shocked him; he hadn't sounded that happy in a very long time, longer than he cared to admit.

Regardless, he pushed the thought aside as he continued, sighing.

"I think you've had enough to drink for one night, _sweetheart,_" he teased, every aspect of his voice teasing as he struggled to keep himself composed. She was leaning against his side, and one arm slid up quickly to wrap around his neck. She didn't hold him tightly, and the contact was barely anymore than before, so he couldn't understand why his body stiffened like it did. But it happened, and he found himself looking up into her eyes hesitantly as he swallowed hard, trying his best not to lean forwards and press his lips against hers then and there. The feeling would be such a relief, after seven years of absence. Maybe it would fill a hole that he had never realized had formed, during her absence. Much like the emptiness he had felt before he had ever been with her at all, there was a new emptiness now. An emptiness that suggested that Vanessa had only been temporarily stitching over the wound, mere strands of false perfection that had held him together for so long. Without the stitching, without Vanessa, he would've felt this emptiness long before.

But underneath stitching was just what had always been there originally, and in Derek's case, the wound hadn't healed. He hadn't realized how much he needed her until now, until he had acknowledged how much he still loved her- and how much he wished he had never let her go.

"I suggest you don't do that," he said quietly, his voice as smooth as possible as he kept his brown eyes locked with her blue ones, shaking his head. "I don't know how much self-control I have in me right now, Case. I'm going to be honest with you about that."

She giggled, and the sound was so high-pitched and so unnaturally Casey that it sent a shiver up and down his spine. It was like she knew what she was doing, in some drunken form. It was like her subconcious was telling her to be like Vanessa- to act like the girl that he apparantly loved so much. He knew that Casey would never have flirted this obviously with him had she been in her normal state of mind, but being drunk was a different story. She had no problem being a flirt when she was drinking.

Her hand reached up, and he watched hesitantly as her palm came to rest on the side of his cheek, causing his eyes to flutter shut at the contact. His breathing hitched, and for one brief moment, it was as though it was their first date all over again. If he thought hard enough, he could almost hear her whispering his name uncertainly, not in question, no. Because there was nothing to question in something so obviously real, so obviously natural, to the both of them. There was only one option... an option that had been a long time coming, that had been waiting to happen for months now. Like a bomb, just waiting to go off. Like a blood-thirsty wolf, just waiting for it's prey. The prey that had been destined as just that all along- prey. Some things were just going to happen, no matter how much pushing and prodding was done.

It was _meant_ to happen. It was supposed to happen.

But when he opened his eyes again, only at the sound of her unnatural giggling starting up again, he was disappointed to find that he wasn't a mere sixteen year old boy again. He was a twenty-five year old man, sitting in his ex-girlfriend's apartment while she was drunk. And the sad part was, he was every bit as in love with her now, as he had been back then. Nothing had changed that, not even his unwavering loyalty to what had ended long before.

"Case, what are you-"

"You've got pretty eyes, Der," she mumbled, smiling happily as she gazed right into them, either unaware, or uncaring, of how he shifted uncomfortably beneath her, unsure of how to react to such a complimentary statement.

"Um, thank you?"

"I mean really, _really_ pretty," she laughed, grinning at a lopsided angle as he frowned, his eyes still fixed on her face. Her other arm reached up to curl around his neck, and she was practically sitting in his lap now, and he really didn't like it.

Okay, so that was a lie. His body liked it; in fact, his body was damn near screaming at him for so much as _thinking _of moving her out of the oh so vulnerable position she was entangled in right about now.

But his mind was a completely different story. His mind, not to mention his heart, was telling him an aching sort of truth, something that he knew was more important than his attraction to her. It was an instinct that he had to listen to, because he cared about her. Letting her stay in this position would only lead to something bad, and he feared for the look in her eyes when she woke up tomorrow morning, when she remembered what she had done. Casey would never want to face the fact that she had kissed an engaged man, that she had crossed those invisible boundries, marked so clearly for her by his fiancee.

And most importantly, she would never want to face the fact that she would be exactly what Vanessa made her out to be- a slut. And he didn't want her to think of herself as anything less than amazing either, so he knew he was left with only one choice. It wasn't the most desireable of options, but it would make her happy in the end, even if she would protest it now.

He sighed, leaning back slightly, and pressing one hand against his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as he struggled to speak the words he didn't want to get out at all.

"Case, you can't be doing this," he muttered, so quiet that he expected her not to hear him. He had barely heard himself, but was surprised when she responded with laughter, shaking her head as she clutched his shirt tighter in her fist, hauling him up towards her again, her smile crooked as she watched his eyes widen with surprise. His hands dropped down to her waist again, and he held her in place, not wanting her to move any closer. They were already in a vulnerable position. Any closer, and he was afraid her already weakened self-control might just snap in half.

"You need some sleep, Casey," he managed to get out, proud of the fact that his voice barely wavered. "You need to sleep this off. You don't know what you're saying."

As if that was the end of the matter, he gripped her hips lightly, and shifted her so that she was now standing in front of him. He kept his warmer hands wrapped around hers as he pulled himself up, hovering slightly over her with his taller figure. She wasn't short, by any means, but she still had to look up slightly to look him in the eye. He was a man, after all, and men were not always- but usually- taller than women. At least, that was the way he had always seen it, though he knew it was not always true.

He was momentarily proud of himself for being able to push her away, but the triumphant feeling faded quickly as she placed her hands on his chest, shaking her head as she leaned towards him, her eyes blurred with confusion and panic. He had to struggle to keep himself upright, for her hands pressing against his hard chest presented itself as a slight problem.

"Casey, what-"

"I don't wanna sleep, Der," she slurred, shaking her head as she kept her hand clutched tightly around his shirt, unwilling to let go. Her knuckles were white, and he was positive that there was something like desperation or terror in her eyes then, though he couldn't be sure, and he could see no reasoning behind it. Why would Casey be frightened when she was with him? And even more importantly, what the hell could she be afraid of when she was drunk? She wasn't even thinking straight right now, that much was obvious. He was pretty sure that everything she was saying to him now was complete and total bullshit. She couldn't possibly mean anything that she was saying to him, even if he did have remarkably stunning eyes.

Hey, at least he was honest.

"He gently reached up, attempting to loosen her fingers against his shirt, but to no avail. She was gripping the material desperately, and the flash of wild panic in her eyes signalled that she was worried about something. When he realized she would not be be persuaded into letting go of his shirt, he sighed, and slipped his warm fingers over her cooler hands, his touch sending shivery goosebumps sailing up her arms, only stopping when her eyes flashed with something like reassurance. She loosened her hold slightly, and he tightened his grip over her hands, shaking his head.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her, as she swayed slightly, but managed to stay in place. "I just want you to get some sleep. You're not making any sense right now, and... while that's not exactly uncommon, and although it may be highly amusing at times... I don't want you to-"

He stopped when he realized she wasn't listening to a word that he was saying. She was suddenly paler than usual, and her eyes, which had been vibrant with excitement only moments before, seemed uncharacteristically drained of emotion as she seemed to fade in and out of conciousness. He was alarmed for a moment, worried that she was actually in some sort of danger, but then he remembered the few occasions in which Casey had passed out, back in high school. When she drank too much, it was often too much on her, considering the fact that she rarely drank at all throughout the rest of the year. It was a rare occasion for her to drink, and if she went overboard, she was often rewarded brilliantly with a nice blow to the head, unless someone was there to catch her fall.

And so far, during the times he had been there, he had always caught her. He wondered who had done the catching when he hadn't been around over the past few years, but he decided it was irrelevant as her grip on his shirt loosened entirely, and her hands dropped to her sides as she fell forwards, somehow managing to keep her own fall beautifully graceful.

He didn't panic at all. He was used to this, and he knew she'd be okay; it was nothing serious. His only concern was to catch her, which he managed successfully, as he reached his arms out, and let her fall right against his chest. Her head relaxed easily against his shoulder, and he could hear the gentle sound of her breathing evening out as her arms fell loosely in front of her, pressed between his chest and her own. The barrier that kept them from touching completely was both a disappointment, adn a blessing to Derek. He would be lying if he said the slight space between them was a bad thing. He didn't want to make a move he'd regret later.

He supposed her being knocked out cold would help him out, too. He couldn't kiss her when she wasn't even concious, at least.

"Okay, Case," he whispered softly, grunting slightly under his breath as he lifted her easily into his arms, not even struggling under her light weight. "Time to get you to bed, I think."

His eyes moved over her facial features, and before he had even taken a step forwards, he had frozen right into place, his eyes and his mind completely drawn in by the sight of her, lying so perfectly in his arms. She fit so well against the angle of his chest, the curve of his elbow against his arm. She looked like this was where she belonged, like this was where she was born to be. It was almost as though her body had been designed to fit so perfectly into his arms. Her features were so relaxed, so comfortable, that he knew she must know who was holding onto her, and who was keeping her safe. It was him; it would always be him. She had to know that, somewhere deep down inside. She must realize that the feeling of these arms around her couldn't be carved out of lies, out of a false sense of protection.

"You're safe with me, Case," he murmered, and before he walked towards her room, he leaned down, pressing his lips softly against her forehead. His lips lingered on her warm skin for only a moment as he closed his eyes, imagining that she felt the same, that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

And oh _God_, did he want her. She was so tempting to him right now, and he knew that if he'd drank half as much as her, he wouldn't have been able to control himself around her. It seemed almost foolish that it had been him who had proposed they drink in the first place, yet she had outdrank him entirely. He was almost completely sober, and he was holding onto an unconcious Casey in his arms. It didn't seem logical, that she had given into the activity she hadn't even wanted to persue to begin with.

He was at her bedside now. He had somehow gotten her through the narrow doorway, and had gotten the light off. He had quickly pushed aside all thoughts of getting her changed. It wasn't his place to change her clothes on his own, and he didn't know how to go about waking her.

The most he could do was pull back her covers as best as he could with one hand, and then slowly lower her down into the bed, his arms never unwrapping from around her fragile figure until she was safely in the bed, her head relaxed against the pillow.

His hands gently curled around the blankets, and he had just moved to pull them up over her body, to keep her warm, when he saw her eyes flutter open once more, her gaze as alert as it had been a few minutes before, as though she had merely been taking an extremely long time in blinking. In fact, she looked like she may even be a bit more aware of her surroundings than she had been only moments before. She didn't even look all that confused as she shook her head, the corners of her lips turning down into a gentle frown as she tilted her head forwards slightly in a vague incline, trying to bring him back to her. She reached for him, and he quickly dropped the blankets with one of his hands, allowing her tiny hand to envelope his own larger one as best as it could. Her hand felt cold around his, and he wasn't sure why, but he found himself drawing the blankets around her with his free hand.

"Sleep," he instructed her, turning his hand so that he could tighten it around hers. She looked doubtful, and he smiled at her as best as he could, shaking his head.

"I mean it, it'll do you wonders."

Something flickered through her eyes then, and she tilted her head back in a quick and jerky motion, as though signalling that she wanted him to come closer. He was reluctant, and his eyes must've showed it, because he hesitated on the spot, showing no sign of moving forwards, towards the angelic face beneath him.

"I want you," she murmered, shaking her head at him as she struggled to keep her eyes open. "Don't you see that, Der? I want you."

He averted his gaze away from her, his cheeks paling slightly, instead of going scarlet with embarassment. He felt a cold wave ripple through his body, as though something like realization had just washed over him. His own hand tensed around hers, and he wouldn't look her in the eye as she spoke up again, sounding hurt this time.

"Why d'you keep doing that, turnin' away from me?"

His eyes shot over to hers, but there was nothing but darkness in them as he kept a frown on his lips, his voice quiet as he spoke up again.

"You're really drunk, Casey," he managed to get out, his voice not missing a beat, but his heart missing every second beat of it's own. He felt like he wasn't functioning properly. This wasn't right, this wasn't what he wanted. He wanted Casey to want him, yes. But not like this. Not when she was drunk.

Not when it would mean absolutely nothing to her in the morning, when she woke up and got her common sense back. And although he knew that she couldn't exactly help it, he resented that she was playing with his emotions like this, when he was trying so hard to come to terms with how he really felt about her. She was only causing him more heartache, giving him false hope like this, false hope that would prove to be nothing more than a drunken delusion, once she had her regular state of mind about her.

But she was insistant, and she shook her head, making sure he couldn't pull his hand away from hers as she tightened her grip, her eyes panicked.

"No," she mumbled, her eyes already falling shut, despite the panic etched so clearly into them. "No, I'm not."

He raised an eyebrow, snorting with amusement despite himself.

"Yeah, okay; you're not drunk," he said, shaking his head as he tried not to get in too great of a mood again. "I'll play along."

She rolled her eyes, a lopsided frown on her lips as she shook her head, seemingly frustrated with him.

"Hmm, kay. So maybe I'm just a tiny bit drunk," she slurred, holding up her free hand to demonstrate how small she was talking about, by holding two fingers apart about an inch. He snorted, looking away as he let one knee rest on her bed to support himself. She ignored this reaction as she went on.

Her voice was softer, quieter somehow, and the tone she spoke would've been almost believeable, if she wasn't slurring and stumbling upon her words the whole time. That was the only thing that kept the doubt planted in his mind, when she opened her mouth to speak again.

"I'm not too drunk to know what I'm sayin', right now," she mumbled, shaking her head faintly from side to side, to indicate that she was in tune with her own words. "I made a mistake, Der. Huge mistake. I let you go."

"You're tired," he said, smoothing her hair away from her face with his free hand. His voice was as gentle as he could force, for her benefit, but he was glad she was not paying any direct attention to his eyes, for they were as dark as he could possibly manipulate them, as he struggled not to let her drunken words affect him. There was no reason for him to believe that she meant this, when she was so obviously not in her right mind. She wouldn't be saying all of this, if she could think rationally.

She looked like she wanted to say more, and for a brief moment, he wished that she would. He wanted her to reassure him again and again that he was not imagining all of this, and that the words she was speaking to him now were completely sincere, completely honest, even if he knew the possibility was slim and none. What were the odds of his perfect girl, the woman he loved, feeling the same? He didn't deserve her. He would never deserve someone this amazing, not a second time around.

All hopes of her saying more to him were shattered when he looked down and saw that her eyes were shut, her chest rising and falling steadily as she slept. She had passed out again.

He carefully raised their entwined hands to his lips, and kissed the back of her wrist, his eyes never leaving her face. She was too beautiful to look away from, even for a second. Even now, when she reeked of alcohol, and was completely unconcious, she was amazing to him. She was beautiful, and she always would be, in any form. He would always remember how beautiful she was on the inside and out, even if she rejected him, even if she told him she could never feel the same way about him.

Even if she broke his heart, which he had a feeling she would do, sooner or later. He had done nothing to deserve her love, and he knew full well that he had done nothing to deserve _her_. She deserved someone so much better than himself, and he could admit that.

But there was much more that he had to admit, something that he vowed to himself he would do first thing in the morning. He had to stick to his guns, which meant he would follow through on his promise to himself, and a promise he felt he owed Casey, whether she wanted to hear it or not.

He had admitted to himself that he still loved her. He had shown himself that, despite the years they had spent apart, despite the fact that he had been claimed by someone else... despite every ugly barrier that stood in his way, she stood taller. She stood at the end of a pathway of hell, a pathway that he had been walking alone for seven years... desolate, lonely, lost. He had distracted himself with Vanessa, with someone who could never quite fill the emptiness that Casey had left behind, when she'd broken up with him. But Vanessa couldn't keep making him happy, not now that he had been spoiled with Casey's presence.

Nothing could compare to Casey, or anything she could ever give him. And although he understood he didn't deserve her, he knew that he could try to explain to her how good he would try to treat her, how he would never let harm come to her.

He could try to tell her he loved her.

He took one last look at her sleeping face, before leaning down and pressing his lips to her cheek. He pulled back almost immediately, not wanting to wake her, and the blackness of his eyes faded as he allowed himself to detach himself from her, taking a reluctant step back.

"In the morning," he whispered to himself, not wanting to wake her up for something so serious, especially since she was so out of her mind, right now. This deserved such special attention, that he rather felt he would wait a lifetime just to get these words off his chest, to be able to tell her he loved her, and be met with a suitable, and yet completely honest response, as opposed to a high-pitched and drunken giggle.

Yes, in the morning, he would talk to her. When morning came, she would know just how much she meant to him.

When morning came, he would put everything out there.

* * *

**Serious Dasey in the next chapter, moreso than in any other. So if you want it, review please!! Thanks!**


	22. True Love

**This is now officially the longest chapter I've ever written, sorry about that. A special thank you to Mallory for helping me out with this chapter. There were some things I wasn't sure on and some things I needed second opinions on, and you definitely helped me alot in this one! Thanks so much!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Twenty-Two: True Love**

Derek woke up the next morning to the feeling of something soft against his face. It was as if his face were buried into something, something fluffy... something that smelled of perfume, and the slightly faded scent of alcohol, as though a mere trace had been spilled upon it. He had no recollection of where he was for a moment, for this wasn't his pillow; that, he was sure of. The scent was familiar, but not in the sense that he recognized it to be an aspect of his own home. His own pillow often smelled of cologne, with an odd scent of mint mixed into it. And what he could smell now was definitely not fitting the mould properly. It smelled too nice, too comforting, yet too_ different_ to be his own. His only conclusion was that he wasn't even _at _home. But where else would he be? Vanessa's house? No, he would've remembered spending a night with the fiancee from hell, and besides, it made no sense for him not to remember. He hoped for one desperate moment that he hadn't gotten completely drunk and cheated on her, and at the same time, he rather felt that this would be an easy out on the engagement.

That was horrible thinking, and he was well aware of it, but he couldn't bring himself to care on either a concious, or subconcious level. He just wasn't committed to her anymore. He didn't want forever with her, and he most definitely didn't want to wake up every morning to find her bitching out about not being able to find her perfume, or her earrings, or some other object that Derek would only pretend to give a damn about. Yes, as much as he believed in loyalty to the one you loved, he couldn't classify what he felt for her as anything strong, anything worth staying for. And because of that, the thought of getting rid of her through some drunken state of cheating didn't seem all too bad.

And that was when he remembered. It was the tiniest mention of the alcohol that snapped him back into reality- that put everything back into perspective for him. The events of the night before came flashing back to him in flashes, one after the other, each one just as clear as if it had happened only moments ago.

He had gotten drunk with Casey. Or rather, he had watched Casey get drunk, because there really hadn't been much drinking on his own behalf. He had come over to apologize to her, to make things right, and he had wound up getting in way over his head, and allowing her to get totally and completely wasted, to the point that she really had no idea what she was talking about. He didn't open his eyes as he let the images play quickly across the backs of his eyelids, each one causing guilt to flicker through the pit of his stomach, rippling through the feeling of satisfaction that was already forming there. Because, as much as he didn't want to make a move on her, the things that she had said the night before had really gotten him thinking. The things she had said the night before had seemed unimportant, yesterday. But now, with the dawn of a new morning, he almost felt obliged to shed some light on the words she had spoken to him the night before.

Could Casey really want him back? She'd said it, hadn't she?

_"I want you,_" she'd murmered through her delusional haze, as he had struggled to keep himself strong against her. _"Why d'you keep doin' that, turning away from me?" _

The thought struck him then and there, and it was so strong that it knocked him off of his own train of thought for a moment. He was jumping to way too many conclusions here, and his own thoughts had just proved that to himself. She had been delusionally drunk, and she really hadn't been making any sense at all. Hadn't he been regarding everything that she said before those words as complete and total bullshit? Hadn't he just assumed she was too drunk to know what she was saying, too wasted to even think about the words that spilled clumsily from her own lips? He had figured she was nothing more than drunk, and because of that, he hadn't really listened to anything she was saying. He recognized, with shame, the one moment of absolute bliss and satisfaction that had just coursed through him- of realizing that Casey, the girl of his dreams, had wanted him. He had thought so highly of himself in that one moment that it felt almost impossible that the high of being enough for her could ever wear off.

But he had to remember that it had been her drunken self speaking, not her usual, logical half. The logical side of Casey was technically who she really was, and although she often lied through her teeth when she was being logical, in some derailed attempt to protect herself and those around her, Derek saw right through her. He knew when she was being honest, and when her words were nothing more than a cover to something more serious, something more obviously real. Because usually, when Casey let her logical side speak for her, she wasn't saying how she really felt. Usually, she was just voicing what she thought was best for everyone else, which ultimately tended to leave her alone and more confused than when she'd started.

"I made lunch."

Derek felt a groan surfacing from the back of his throat, and he found his face scrunching up in surprised shock. He hadn't expected Casey to be awake before him, considering how much she'd had to drink the night before. She usually had some pretty nasty hangovers, that much he remembered well.

But there was no denying that it was her own musical voice that was floating across the living room, to the couch where he had formerly been sleeping. She sounded wide awake, maybe a little groggy, but fine. He vaguely wondered what time it was, since she had mentioned that she had just prepared lunch, but as he allowed the scent of whatever she was cooking waft through the air, he suddenly didn't care. He could smell food, and despite his sick stomach... he was hungry. That was something that he had never understood about his post-drinking state. Most of the people he knew didn't even want to look at food, let alone eat it. But Derek, despite the fact that he often felt sick to his stomach, was always in the mood for something to eat.

As he opened his eyes, squinting awkwardly into the sunlight that poured through the open window, he groaned, rolling over onto his back. There was a blanket thrown over him, but whether or not he had been the one to put it there, he'd never know. All he knew was that he felt warm, and he felt comfortable. The breeze that was floating in through her open windows was refreshing, and the smell of the warm and clean air was almost enough to lull him back to sleep once more. It just seemed so calm, so tempting. How he would love to fall back into his previous state of mind... to close his eyes and escape back to his place of comfort, to his dreams, where he had spent the night feeling protected and at ease, with the exception of one small, and quite uncomfortable, nightmare.

He had dreamt of Casey, last night. It hadn't been the usual dream, the one where he would reach for her, his gaze desperate, his fingers stretching farther beyond their limits than he had ever conceived to be possible. He hated that dream, for it caused him to remember everything that he'd let go, and everything that he could've had. He would always watch, through the narrowed vision of his mind, as she strode away from him, the setting always the same- in what could only be a forest, on some beaten down and neglected dirt pathway. He would chase after her, begging her to come back, pleading with her to stay in his life, trying to convince her that he still needed her with him, and that they could always work something out. His hands would reach aimlessly for her, but would fall away as she disappeared around a corner, her brown wisps of hair always the last thing he saw, before he woke up, usually slightly out of breath, as though he really had been running.

He hated that dream. Everytime the crazy sequence repeated itself, he would wake up absolutely terrified to go back to sleep- to return to the one place where Casey would never listen to him- obviously a true reflection of her real self. She really was stubborn like that, even in reality. But the dream barely reflected anything beyond his subconcious fears and beliefs- that he would not be able to get her to listen to him, in the end. That he would fail at getting her back altogether.

But as much as he hated this dream, he was beginning to think that he much rather preferred the old one, to the one he had experienced the night before.

It had been completely dark, and he had found himself standing at the edge of what seemed to be the same path as before, the one that had set the stage of his nightmares for years, now. The pathway never meant anything in particular to him, for he had never really had much experience with woods, and trees. He supposed that this was just a setting, and was really nothing of great importance. Perhaps the winding pathways symbolized his confusion on the matter, and how lost he felt when he attempted to get his thoughts in some logical order, but he couldn't be sure, and quite frankly, he didn't care. The setting of his nightmare wasn't all that important to him. He barely noticed it, once the action really began.

The only real difference, at the start of the dream, was that it was pitch black out, whereas he was used to the musky grey sky, with streaks of pink sunlight still streaming down through the trees, shining against the dirt pathway beneath his feet. It was uncomfortable to be blind like this, and his dream-self clutched desperately on either side of him, for what he hoped would prove to be branches. He would feel nothing, nothing but useless fistfuls of the cold and foggy air, moistening his hands, leaving him chilled.

_"Casey,_" he would call out, his voice often questioning, more of a whisper than anything else. _"Case, are you in here?" _

_His eyes would squint through the darkness, desperately searching for the faintest sign of her. He would settle for anything- the gleam of her blue eyes suddenly appearing before him, the glare off of her heart shaped necklace as it reflected off of something, anything. But there was no moonlight to cause a reflection off of anything, and he found it to be a lost cause as he kept calling her name, taking a few hesitant steps into the forest, feeling tree branches twisting around his ankles as he tried his best to walk in a straight line, not wanting to stray too far from the path. _

_His right hand grasped something, maybe the pine of a nearby tree, and he clutched onto it, feeling as if it were the only thing that he really had to hold onto- quite literally. He altered his steps, backtracking so that his feet were glued to the ground, one foot next to the other. _

_He waited as patiently as he possibly could, listening for something... anything that would tell him where he was, or if anyone was even around him. He was sure Casey had to be here, sure that this was where she was- for some irrational reason in his mind. _

_"Case?" he tried again, his voice almost worried now, and before he could listen for a response, he felt someone tap him on the shoulder lightly, almost as though they were afraid of breaking him. Their touch was so gentle, that it completely contrasted the action when he spun around almost violently, his eyes wide with hope as he tried to see who had been the one to summon him, like this. _

_But the second he turned, he wished he hadn't. He felt a brute force of some sort- invisible to his own two eyes- push against his chest, and knock him flat onto the ground, stretched out flat on his back. He felt the air in his lungs push outwards, escaping past his lips in a quick gasp, as the back of his head connected with something hard behind him- a log, or a rock, perhaps? _

_He had no time to register any form of pain growing throughout his body. The injuries he had sustained might have been quite painful; he wasn't sure. His mind barely even recognized the fact that he had fallen, and even the much-needed oxygen was momentarily shoved from his mind as he felt something cool and hard shooting up, wrapping around his wrists. He had no idea what it was- vines, perhaps? He would say rope, but he knew that the feeling of such a material would've been rougher, almost scratchy against his softer skin. No, this surface was smooth, almost moist, almost like the leaf of a plant, really, only stronger, firmer. Was the forest itself turning against him? In any rational world, this would have made no sense, for plants couldn't move._

_But in his dream, it made more sense than anything else he could think of. He didn't stop to think that the restraints that had bound themselves around his two wrists were anything less than real; he was just looking for an escape to it all, whether it be ridiculous or not. _

_He'd looked up suddenly, as the slightest flicker of light caught the corner of his very concentrated eyes. It was there for a moment, and then gone again, almost as though it had never really existed to begin with. Almost as though it had just appeared as a figment of his own mind, to test his strengths, to challenge him in some way. That could've been the truth, he didn't know. Maybe his mind really was playing tricks on him._

_But who was he to question his own dreams? He wasn't thinking logically, or clearly. He was asleep, dammit, and there wasn't much he could do to control his own thoughts while he was in a state so undeniably subconcious. He was only a man, after all. _

_The light flickered again, and this time, when he looked up, though the light had already faded off again, he struggled to keep his gaze focused on the one place- the place where he knew the light would flicker again, just as it had the two previous times. He didn't even dare to blink, for the light seemed to be so stubborn, that it would only stay helpful for a few moments, before it would betray Derek entirely. _

_On the third flicker of the light, he was ready. He caught sight of it again, and was surprised when it was closer, right in front of him. He fully expected the light to fade off again, so he was shocked when he found himself squinting right into the light of what was quite obviously nothing more than a flashlight. He was almost disappointed, as it occured to him that he had been expecting something more than this- something more mystical, more creative..._

_But who was he kidding? This was a dream, not a Harry Potter book. The vines embedded around his wrists were mystical enough, he didn't want to push it. _

_As he squinted against the flashlight, he finally managed to make out the figure of a woman standing in front of him, holding the flashlight up in her right hand, its beams of light hitting Derek directly in the eyes. He wasn't sure if the woman had planned it that way, or if his sudden blindness was mere coincidence, but he decided against mentioning it as he held up a hand as best as he could to cover his eyes, shielding them slightly from the painful glare of the lightbulbs inside the glass cover of the flashlight. _

_  
He tried his best to figure out whether or not he knew the girl, or if she was merely some stranger, passing through his dreams unknowingly, blinding him with her light. He squinted, his face scrunched up in some sort of scrutinizing expression as he examined her features. It was very difficult at first, for his eyes were only now adjusting to the light, and he was seeing tiny little spots everytime he blinked, little imprints of the light that was shining against his eyes. _

_But as he studied her closer, he made out a few noticeable traits. She was difficult to see behind the light, but he could see enough to piece together who his visitor was. She stood tall, probably not that much shorter than Derek would be, if he were on his own two feet. Her figure was slim and obviously fit, and he could tell that she was a blonde, her hair streaming just past her shoulders. He could make out the way her eyebrows furrowed together as she stared down at him, and he felt his breathing hitch in his throat as his stomach tightened sickeningly. _

_  
"Vanessa," was all he managed to get out, hoping that she would explain her presence. _

_She said nothing. His fiancee merely stood there, keeping the light shining down on Derek's face as he continued to watch her carefully, confusion etched across his face as she remained silent, not speaking. Derek had to wonder if he was the only person in his own dream who was capable of speaking, because so far, his voice had been the only one that had broken through the eerie calm of the wooded area. There was nothing else but darkness, silence, and a creepy sort of atmosphere that loomed overhead, reminding him that there was nothing good about his current situation, nothing bright to look up to._

_Well, with the exception of that damn flashlight, but that was just speaking literally. _

_"Vanessa?" he tried again, but as the final syllable slipped past his lips, he heard himself trail off quietly, his own voice dying away into the night, his words quickly replaced by the cautious words of another._

_"Derek?" _

_His mind was immediately alert as he recognized the sound of Casey's voice floating through the trees somewhere behind Vanessa, the tone of her voice soft and questioning, yet scared and worried all at once. The fear that came across in her quiet voice was alarming, and he knew immediately that she was looking for him. He could always tell what she needed, solely by the sound of her voice, and right now, he knew that she needed to find him._

_"Derek?" _

_"Casey," he choked out into the darkness, squinting as he moved his hand away from his face, trying to peer around Vanessa into the dark depths of the woods that lay behind her. Hard as he tried, he could see nothing but pitch black despair. Even the edges of the shadows of the trees couldn't escape the dark blanket that seemed to cover the forest around him, enveloping the trees in a gloomy sort of atmosphere, and hard as he tried, he couldn't fight the feeling of dread that welled up inside of him. _

_"Casey?" he called out again, pulling forward frantically on the restraints around his wrists, wishing with all of his might that they'd just snap, then and there. He struggled harder against them, grunting with frustration as he blew his hair out of his face, tugging desperately at his wrists now. But as hard as he tried, the vines just wouldn't snap, and he found himself looking up into the light angrily, trying not to let the spots of brightness bother him. _

_  
"Move the damn light," he snapped at his fiancee, biting the inside of his lip as he pulled hard again. "Either that, or help me out of these damn things." _

_Vanessa stood motionless, her hand still fixed on the flashlight, her cold eyes never once moving from the spot she had been staring at since she had arrived in the scene of the forest. She was staring at some point above his head, focusing so hard that he rather felt it would be impossible to break her concentration. He was getting angrier with her by the moment, for he knew that Casey needed him right now. Why was she so insistant on keeping him from her?_

- - -

The answer had occured to Derek, when he had woken up. Vanessa was insistant on keeping him away from his ex-girlfriend, because even she wasn't as stupid as she seemed. Maybe he had been blinded to the truth all along, but Vanessa probably hadn't been. She had probably noticed that the way he looked at Casey was nowhere near the way he looked at his own fiancee. She must have caught onto the fact that he would give up their plans in a heartbeat to go and hang out with Casey, if she were to call him. He talked about her all the time, even when he knew full well Vanessa wasn't interested in hearing what Casey's favourite movie was, where they'd gone out to eat the night before, what kind of perfume she'd been wearing. Derek realized afterwards that it had been stupid to tell these things to his own fiancee, but at the time, he hadn't been thinking straight. He hadn't realized who he was talking to, and in all reality, he wasn't sure he had been aware of talking to anyone. All he could remember was thinking about Casey as he spoke... he hadn't really been aware of the fact that he'd been talking about her.

But all in all, the only logic he could summon from his dream was some sort of twisted theory that Vanessa was the only thing that had been keeping him from getting Casey back, over the past two months. He had never been able to interpret his own dreams very clearly, but in this case, he was able to figure it out pretty easily. All of the signs were there, pointing very obviously to what his dream had symbolized. Every aspect of that dream had been linked to his present situation in some way, shape or form.

The trail, winding through the pitch black during the dead of night... well, that one spoke for itself. The winding trail could be interpreted as his own actions. They were all over the place these days, never resting, always changing direction everytime something changed. And the darkness factored into that same symbol just as easily, because that was how he felt. Often, when he was being pinned between Casey and Vanessa, he felt like he was completely in the dark, forced to choose sides- pick which direction he'd go in, while really having not the faintest of ideas how each choice would affect the overall outcome of his situation. He was leading himself down two completely blackened pathways; that, he knew all too well.

The flashlight that Vanessa had been holding... that could sort of symbolize the way she had been blinding him, he supposed. He remembered feeling irritated in his dream, because she wouldn't put down the light. He had been unable to see anything but that damn light, and he'd been forced to shield his eyes from the view of the glare, blocking everything but Vanessa from his view, just as she had planned it in real life. She had been blinding him to the _other_ path his life could have taken, to the pathway that he might have taken if she had not been so insistant on rushing their relationship, the way she had. If Vanessa had not pushed their relationship so quickly towards marriage, he might have been able to figure out what he knew now a whole lot quicker than he had. And if he had been given more time, right from the start, he would've known that Vanessa wasn't the girl for him. Vanessa Williams wasn't the woman he was supposed to end up with in the end, because she wasn't the woman he was really in love with. That was Casey; that would always be Casey. But, just like in the forest, Vanessa had blinded him away from her, and because of that... he'd never seen the signs. He'd never bothered to take a closer look, to look around him and notice that his relationship with Vanessa wasn't what it appeared to be.

"Um, Derek?" Casey tried, and as he looked up, he realized that she looked absolutely concerned, not to mention confused. He immediately realized that she must have been trying to get his attention for the past several minutes, for she was sitting on the edge of the couch, a slight trace of fear dancing through her pretty blue eyes. Her body was tense as she placed her hand over his, frowning.

"Are you okay?" she asked, genuine concern edging her voice. "You sorta spaced out on me there. You look a little bit pale."

"What?" he questioned, his voice slightly shaky as he sat up a bit straighter, trying to rid his face of all confusion. "No, no, Casey. I'm fine; really, I am. I was just thinking about a dream that I had last night." He paused, wondering if he should explain that one further, but he knew that it would be more trouble than it was worth.

Shaking his head, he continued.

"You look alot better than you did last night," he informed her, shaking his head as he let a nervous chuckle escape past his lips. "You were totally out of it, Case. I thought for sure I'd wake up to find you face down in the pillow, grumbling for me to bring you some Advil and some ginger ale." He paused, before adding, as an afterthought, "I would've done it though, you know that."

She nodded her head to indicate that she did, and her expression was suddenly concerned as she fixed her friend with a serious look, shifting the tension between them so that he was the one who was left out in the dark now. He knew when there was something on her mind, because he could read the shadows behind her eyes quite easily by now. He knew when she was seriously concerned about something, and when she couldn't even fake a smile, he knew that she was really distracted.

He turned his hand over beneath Casey's, slipping his fingers through her own before she could utter a single complaint, or word of protest. His hand squeezed hers gently as he looked into her eyes, searching for something reassuring, something that would tell him she was okay.

"What's on your mind?" he asked her, knowing that she wouldn't question how he had read into her thoughts. That was the way it was, with them. He always knew when there was something wrong with him, just like she could always call him out on his own sour moods. They knew each other inside and out, upside-down and backwards, and there was no denying that, if one of them was in any form of pain, it would inflict pain upon the both of them, in it's own way. They were in too deep for their relationship to work with any less complications than that.

Casey took a deep breath, looking up into his eyes as she kept her hand in his, not noticing how his eyes softened at the feeling of her warm skin pressed against his own palm tightly.

"About last night, Derek," she said, her words slightly nervous as she skillfully avoided his gaze. "I sort of wanted to talk to you about that."

He shook his head, knowing that she must have remembered at least some of what she had said to him, of what she had wanted him to do the night before. She wouldn't look up at him, and he was sort of glad. He knew that she would be embarassed by the way she had acted with him last night, telling him that she wanted him, that she had made a mistake in ever leaving him at all. He knew that there would be some varying degree of pain in her eyes, when he looked up, and he didn't think he could handle that.

"You were drunk," he reminded her, shrugging as though it were no big deal. "You never mean anything you say when you're drunk. I know that."

She hesitated, her breathing hitching in her throat as she recognized how quickly he had dismissed her concerns. He knew that she hadn't expected this, and he wondered for a moment just what exactly she _had_ expected. Had she thought he'd be angry with her, and not want to speak to her anymore, just because she'd made the mistake of throwing herself all over him, when she was drunk? He had never come off as that easy to piss off, had he?

Or maybe she thought that he would make fun of her for what she had wanted from him, the night before. After all, one of his favourite passtimes was teasing her. But did she honestly think for one second that he would take something that she was so obviously embarassed about, and hold it over her head- that he would torment her over it? Maybe if it were something minor, if it were something that she could easily laugh off afterwards, when the embarassment had faded...

But for her to think he would be so cruel to her, over something that had obviously made her upset...

"I'm sorry you thought I'd hold it against you," he said quietly, feeling slightly offended by this. "I didn't realize you... you'd think like that... but I hope you know that I'd never do anything to actually hurt you, Casey. I thought you already knew that."

Her eyes quickly flickered with realization, and she shook her head, straightening up a little as she squeezed his hand to comfort him, trying her best to help him understand what she was trying to say.

"I know you wouldn't hurt me," she assured him, trying her best to cheer him up. "Don't worry. I was just overreacting, I guess. I mean... I really never meant to get that drunk, last night. I only wanted to have one or two drinks, just enough to shut you up. And then I started drinking, and everything just seemed like it was... well not okay, but better, for a little while. I felt like I really didn't have to worry about anything, if only for an hour or two. And... it was the best feeling in the world, Derek."

He remained silent as she lowered her gaze to the floor again, her cheeks blushing a dark shade of scarlet as she shook her head, obviously completely ashamed of what she had done the night before.

"I should've known better than to act like I did, and I'm sorry," she mumbled, shaking her head as she tried her best not to overexert her emotions, here. "You're engaged, Derek. Even my drunken self should've realized that saying things like that to a man who is almost married... well, I should've known that it was wrong. I really wasn't thinking and I'd... I'd just rather you disregard everything I said last night. I obviously didn't mean any of it."

Something clicked into place for Derek, and for some weird reason, he found his stomach sinking, and his face falling with what could only be disappointment. It made no sense for him to be disappointed, because really... wouldn't Casey not wanting him mean that she didn't really feel the same way? Wouldn't that mean there would be no point behind telling her how he felt, therefore eliminating the problem that he already had- the problem of choosing between two of the most important girls in his life.

But, regardless of whether or not she felt the same way as he did, Casey still won that title. She was the most important girl in his life, no competition. Vanessa didn't stand a chance when he compared his feelings for each of them. The only attraction he even held for Vanessa anymore, if any, was a physical one. Sure, maybe he still had the slightest twinge of a feeling towards her, but if he did, the feelings were very, very slim, more of a leftover emotion than anything else. What he felt for Vanessa was nothing close to what he felt for Casey. With Casey, he wanted everything, he felt everything. He had the burning desire to kiss her everytime he saw her, a feeling that had been buried for well over five years or so now. He had thought that this part of his life was over, but now, everytime he looked the blue eyed girl in the eyes... he wanted her. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her...

He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, though he knew that it would be almost ridiculous to think she would ever feel the same way towards him. But still, the need to protect her was there. Whether or not she loved him back, he wanted to keep her safe from harm's way. He didn't want anyone to be able to hurt her, whether it be physically, or emotionally. Never again did he want to watch another tear fall from her eyes, a trace of pain that would be a little bit too much for Derek to handle. Everytime he saw that she was upset, he wanted nothing more than to hold her against his chest, stroke her hair calmly until her tears were reduced to nothing more than a mere memory, a ghost of a pain she would never know again. When he saw her crying, he wanted to just take her into his arms, kiss her gently until no more sobs passed through her body.

In short, he wanted to make her happy. He wanted to be the one to make her smile, to block all pain in her life. And, although he knew that he could make her happy by being her friend, he didn't want that. Yes, he was well aware that Casey would always be his best friend, from now on. They had been through way too much together to even consider going back on that particular promise. They were best friends, through whatever life threw at them.

But he wanted the accompanying romance that could so easily fall into place next to that incredibly strong friendship the two of them already held. Being together would be so easy, easier than breathing, to Derek. He could see it so clearly in his head... him going through life with her by his side. The two of them taking care of Justin, holding hands as they walked through the park with their son trailing along next to them. The way he would come home every single night to their pleasant and encouraging greetings, the way they always did when he came for a visit. He'd never have to go home to face an empty apartment, because he'd always have his family with him, happy to see him.

And when his mind travelled back to what he had expected from his impending marriage to Vanessa, about what he had figured his life would be like once he was her husband... well, he wasn't sure how those thoughts had ever satisfied him, how he had ever been okay with that. When he thought of marrying Vanessa, all he could think of was the way he would come home every single day, probably before or after Vanessa, but never at the same time. They worked together, so coming home to see her there probably wouldn't be that much of a thrill anyways. He could picture the years of marriage passing by, meaning absolutely nothing to him. He'd get older with Vanessa, and he'd spend his time trying to make her happy- not like that would be hard. All she really cared about was money, and as long as he proved himself to be loyal, and rich, she'd always be happy. The idea of being able to make someone happy just because he had money wasn't all that appealing to him, and it sickened him that their relationship had always been based on such shallow aspects; money, and looks. Compared to what he shared with Casey, purely in friendship... it was incredibly weak.

"Are you sure?" he finally asked, his voice quiet from lack of use from the past several minutes, as he had been lost in thought. "I mean, I know you were drunk and all, but are you sure you didn't mean it in the slightest? Because, out of everything you were getting on with last night... that really seemed to be the most serious thing you said."

Her eyes narrowed, and he immediately knew what she was going to do now. She would jump to the defense, deny feeling anything for him, and then tell him that he was crazy for believing anything she had said the night before. She would probably follow her defensive actions with her own version of startling anger- anger towards him, for accusing her of such a thing. For not believing her. He could tell by her facial expression that the anger was already brewing, and that it would only take one wrong comment from him to set that anger into an irreversible whirlwind of destruction, for every ounce of respect and forgiveness he'd worked so hard to gain back over the past twenty four hours.

Her eyes had darkened considerably, and she was shaking her head with anger as she fixed him with her most serious look.

"Yes, I'm pretty sure I know my own motives better than you do," she snapped, her voice bitter and laced with resentment. "-even when I'm drunk," she added, as an afterthought.

"Maybe," he said thoughtfully, biting on his lower lip for a moment. His gaze was knowing as he continued, contrasting his uncertain eyes. "You know your motives, that's probably true. Even you've got more sense than to throw yourself all over someone you don't even want. But that's just exactly my point, Casey. I know you wouldn't have been all over me like you were if you didn't have some sort of longing to be with me, for real."

She snorted as she folded her arms across her chest, rolling her eyes to the side as she refused to meet his gaze. He knew immediately that he'd struck a nerve, for her cheeks had flushed to the deepest shade of crimson, and her breathing was suddenly heavier, as though she was nervous. He held back the smirk that was fighting to form on his lips. He couldn't let her know that he was so aware of her thoughts, of how easily she had gotten embarassed over his words.

"You're insane," she finally managed to get out, her voice uneasy and shaky. She pulled her hands away from his, her eyes angry. "You're absolutely delusional."

"Am I?"

His words were questioning, and he fought back every ounce of uncertainty he felt inside as he forced himself to believe his own words. He needed to convince himself that Casey really had wanted him, the night before, and that her subconcious really felt something for him in return. Maybe it was more than a subconcious thing, even. Maybe she knew just as well as he did how things were supposed to be between them. Maybe she was just too scared to admit anything to him, when it would cause such a path of almost unbearable consequences.

"I may not be the smartest person in the world, but I'm not stupid," he informed her, shaking his head as he wrapped his hands around each of hers, pulling her a little bit closer towards him, until their knees were touching. She cringed slightly at the contact, but managed to keep her gaze steadied against his as she swallowed hard, listening to every word he said.

"You may know your own motives, but I know how you think, and I know that what I feel can't just be one-sided. Something this strong... I know you have to feel it too. There's no way you don't feel this."

He was frustrating her now, but he couldn't help it. The words didn't want to form properly on his tongue. He was hinting at his motivation, trying his hardest to make her understand without actually having to tell her how he felt. He was so angry with himself for not being stronger against her, right now. This was just Casey he was talking to; he'd never had trouble talking to her before. The words had seemed so easy in his mind. He'd spent an hour the night before, just struggling to think of ways to tell her, and really, it hadn't been much trouble at all. Dozens of ways to tell her how he felt had come bounding into his head the night before, so perfect, so casual, so simple. Some of them had been more subtle than others, while a few had been more romantic and gushy than he'd even dare to approach. He wasn't a total softie, after all. To public eye, anyway.

But every single word that he had summoned from his mind last night had suddenly disappeared into thin air, and he was left with absolutely no words to explain how he felt to the one girl he really loved. And right now, the confusion on her face signalled that, while she may have her hopes, she had no idea what he was really trying to convey to her- whether or not he was really talking about what she hoped he was talking about.

"I honestly don't know what you're trying to tell me," she managed to say, shaking her head at him. "What am I supposed to be feeling, exactly?"

Derek's body tensed, and he felt his hands shaking around hers. He glared at his betraying limbs, silently begging them to stop being so weak at a time like this. They were giving away the fact that he was nervous, something that he hadn't wanted Casey to figure out. He wasn't supposed to come off as the nervous one here. That was her job.

But he knew that he couldn't go back now. He'd said too much, displayed too much emotion to even consider going back on his original plan. He was in too deep now, and he'd just have to tell her what had to be said, before she got really mad at him. He knew how easily she got frustrated, especially with him, and the last thing he needed was for her to start freaking out on him because he wouldn't finish what he had started. Even if she wasn't so easily angered, he wanted to tell her how he felt. He knew that, if he didn't at least try to get her back, and if he went ahead and married Vanessa in two days time, without trying his best to win Casey back, he'd regret it. At least if he had to go through with the wedding with a clear concious, he would know that he had tried his best.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to prepare himself for either reaction; rejection, or acceptance of his feelings. His hands gripped hers tighter as he looked up into her eyes, his gaze so serious and intense that it made her want to look away. He recognized her urge to break the eye contact, but he knew that something always happened when he gave her this look, and she was never able to turn away from it.

Taking advantage of the fact that he had her full attention, he went on.

"You're supposed to tell me that you feel the same way about me as I do about you," he said slowly, trying to keep his breathing under control. "You're supposed to tell me that you want me back just as badly as I want you back. If you don't feel that way... and if I'm just completely off-track here, then that's cool. Don't be afraid to let me down, because believe it or not, I'll survive."

He hesitated, biting his lip as he thought over his last words. Deciding that they weren't actually true, he hurried to rearrange his words.

"Correction, it'll kill me, and I'll spend the rest of my life regretting the fact that I ever let you go in the first place... but I'll find a way to move on."

He had been carefully avoiding her reaction up until now. His eyes had remained on hers, but he hadn't taken notice of the way they had widened in shock, or the look of absolute surprise and confusion that had etched itself so clearly against her features, her emotions betraying her as she struggled not to react, not to let him know he had her completely stunned. The only thing she had been grateful for was that her jaw had not fallen open in complete and total shock, but even without such an action, it was obvious that she was completely taken aback by this new development in their relationship. The look on her face hinted that she honestly hadn't expected this from him, and that this was something she really hadn't anticipated, or prepared herself for.

He quickly evaluated her expression, gathering that she was absolutely speechless, and he decided to take advantage of it while he could. Who knew how long she'd actually stay quiet for? She was quite verbal, most of the time, and he knew that she would be freaking out at him the moment she found her voice again. It was probably only a matter of minutes, even seconds, before she'd be talking a mile a minute, whether the words be beneficial to him or not. He didn't know what her reaction would be once she did talk, but he decided that it was best to just carry on as though he hadn't noticed her shock.

"I don't know how to say this to you, and make it come out in a way that you'd like," he carried on, his voice shaking slightly in the wake of her silence, as he recognized that silence might be a bad thing. "I mean, I know you're into all of that mushy and romantic crap, but you know I suck when it comes to using my words. You went out with me for long enough to know that I'm not exactly an outwardly emotional kind of guy. But if that's what it takes to make you see how I feel about you, then..." He paused, shrugging his shoulder as he blew out a quick breath of air. "I guess that's what it's going to take. I'm not promising anything huge, but I'm going to try to tell you how I feel..."

"How you... how you feel?" Casey choked out, finally managing to get something past her stubborn lips. She swallowed hard, trying to regain some composure. "W-What do you mean by that?"

Derek's eyes flickered up to her face, and despite the current situation, he allowed himself to chuckle gently at the sight of her pale face. All of the colour had drained from her once crimson cheeks, and she was now as white as a ghost. He had forgotten how easily weakened she was by big shocks, and he took it as a good sign that his words were enough to draw a strong reaction from her. Whether or not the words would draw a _good _reaction from her, he'd never know, but he knew that she was at least listening.

He allowed himself to drop one of her hands, and he reached up, cupping one side of her face gently in his hand. Despite the fact that the blood seemed to have drained from her face, her skin was warm, as though she had just been sitting under the sun for several long hours. Although he knew that this was not the case, he allowed himself to brush his thumb gently along the soft skin against her face, swallowing hard as he felt the warmth from her hand settle into his much cooler palm. It still surprised him that even the smallest of gestures towards her, such as this one, could mean so much to him. He would sit here with her forever, and be quite content with just touching her like this. Just the feel of her skin against his own was enough to keep him happy for several hours at a time. He liked that. That was something that he'd never been able to share with Vanessa.

"I think you know how I feel, but if you're going to pretend like you've got no idea what I'm talking about, then I'll explain it anyways," he said, knowing that it was now or never. He forced himself to remember every single reason why he was doing this, and every piece of logic behind his love for her. If he allowed one little detail to slip from his stubborn mind, if he let himself believe for only a moment that this was unnecessary of him, and that Vanessa was enough for him, he knew he'd regret it later. He needed to do this, and it couldn't be put off any longer. The wedding was in two days, and he really needed to know where he stood with Casey, before he made any rash decisions.

Her blue eyes connected with his own brown ones, and the second he saw himself reflected in those eyes, every reason why he loved her came pouring back to him all at once. This was _Casey McDonald._ This was the girl that he'd been dreaming about since he was sixteen years old, the girl that his heart had been so hung up on ever since he was a teenager. He'd messed up a good many dates by calling the girl he was with by the wrong name, even if she was nothing like Casey. He'd so carefully chosen his dates- blonde hair, preferably any eye colour but blue... but the brown haired girl that was so unfortunately labelled his stepsister had always been the one flashing through his mind, and he knew, even now, that his heart would never settle for anything less than her. He could marry Vanessa, yes. He could force himself to act like he loved her, he was sure of it. He'd been doing that for a year or two, by now. He could force himself into a false sense of loving the woman, and he knew that he could do it well. So well, in fact, that he'd had himself fooled for the longest time.

But in the end, it didn't matter whether or not he married Vanessa. It didn't matter if he grew old with the wrong woman, if he spent the rest of his life kissing someone besides the girl who was on his mind. Because his heart would always be reminding him who he really wanted, and who his heart really belonged to. Who his heart had _always _belonged to.

"I can't force myself to love someone, Casey," he said quietly, as he kept his hand against her face, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against her cheek. "I can force myself to say that she's the one I'm supposed to be with, and I know damn well that I care about Vanessa enough to be able to stay with her, if I have to. There's such a thing as caring about someone, without being completely and totally in love with them, and I think I finally know what that means."

"Wait a second," she said, reaching up and taking his hand into hers, pulling their entwined hands back down against his lap once more. Her eyes were confused as she shook her head, a frown settling on her lips.

"If you're trying to tell me that you care about me, then I already know that, okay?" she tried to tell him, looking somewhat disappointed, yet also somewhat relieved. "I mean, I know you don't have to love me to care about me, Derek. I know where we stand."

Derek was momentarily confused as he blinked at her, his eyebrows furrowed together as he attempted to piece together what she was saying to him? What was she talking about? Hadn't she just been listening to a word he had been saying? Vanessa was the one that he was forcing himself to be with, couldn't she see that? He thought that he'd made it painfully clear, but he supposed that, like everything else, he would have to put things in easier terms for Casey to understand, so that her stubborn mind could see past the wall she refused to break down.

"Wait a second, you think that... you... we..." he trailed off, pulling one of his hands from hers so that he could run his hand through his hair. He blew out a slow and patient breath as he tilted his head to the side for a moment, trying to gather up the courage to speak fluently. When he had composed himself a bit better, he turned back to her, shaking his head.

"You've got this backwards," he got out, placing his hand back in hers again, never breaking eye contact. "I thought I was making it painfully clear before, but apparantly, you're not getting the concept."

"The concept?"

He looked her right in the eye, his heart constricting in his chest as he drew in a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever reaction she would throw at him. He told himself that, whatever she chose, he would learn to live with it, but he knew that he could make no promises to himself to be strong. She meant so much to him, and he knew that if he lost her now...

He couldn't even think the words; it hurt too much.

"You're the one that I love, Casey," he admitted, feeling as though the weight of the world was suddenly lifted off his shoulders, the only remaining stess being her impending reaction, and the knowledge of the fact that his wedding was only two days away. He tried to remind himself that, if he succeeded, there would be no wedding, but he tried not to get his hopes up as he rushed on.

"Vanessa can never mean as much to me as you do," he carried on, hoping that she would believe him. "I won't deny that I care about her, and I won't say that I never loved her, because I did, in my own way. But what I felt for her... and what I feel for her now... it's completely different than anything I ever felt for you, even in friendship. Me and you... we've got such a strong bond between us, Casey. It's always been there, and being here with you now, being able to rebuild the bond we broke seven years ago... it's absolutely amazing to me. You've just opened up a whole new chapter of my life, and... I dunno, I just feel like this is the pathway I've got to stay on now. I can't go through the rest of my life with Vanessa, knowing that I could've had something so much stronger, something this powerful. Knowing that I could've had you."

Her reaction was impossible to read, yet. She was still staring at him with shock in her eyes, and he could tell that he hadn't said enough yet. For whatever reason, he hadn't convinced her of his love for her yet. He knew that he needed to make her believe this, or else he wouldn't stand a chance in getting her back. She needed to understand the contrast between his feelings for her, and his feelings for his fiancee.

"I know I'm engaged to Vanessa right now," he said, his voice shaking slightly against the words that left his mouth, "But I'd give away everything I've ever shared with her in a heartbeat, if only it means I get you back. A life with her is nothing compared to what me and you could have together, despite what I feel for her."

He paused to see that her expression hadn't changed, and he felt a flicker of concern go through his body then. What if he was going way off in the deep end, here? What if she honestly felt nothing for him in return? Her reaction was so cold, so distant... how could she not be reacting to him at all? Didn't she have anything at all to say to him? He'd just confessed his love for her, and she was sitting here as though he'd just told her that he was planning on jumping over a cliff, tonight. Was his love for her that unbelieveable?

Just when he was about to try and get her to speak, her expression shifted, the only proof that she was even concious at all, anymore. She blinked twice, her eyes staring right into his as she licked her dry lips, trying to summon up enough courage to give him some sort of an answer. He rather felt that he didn't care what she said now, though he knew that he really did want her to say she loved him too. But through his delusional and temporary brainfreeze, all he wanted was for her to answer him, to prove that he hadn't completely earned her hatred, by now.

"I think you're really confused right now," she managed to get out, her voice shaking with what sounded like fear. She pulled her hands away from his, and shifted backwards, ignoring the hurt that flickered through his eyes when she did this. Whether it was a concious attempt to ignore him, he didn't know, but he found himself tilting his head at her, his eyes bewildered and hurt.

"Confused?" he questioned, his voice cracking on the final syllable as he struggled to keep himself together. "How so?"

She straightened up, one of her hands reaching down to pick at a loose end of the fabric on her couch, a clear sign that she was nervous.

"You're not thinking clearly about this, Derek," she told him, her eyes lowered to the carpet, so that she wouldn't have to look at him. Her cheeks had returned to their previous shade of red, and he could tell that she was embarassed by her own words, and by his actions.

"You love Vanessa."

"I love _you_."

His protests caused her head to raise slowly, and she winced as she shook her head, her face screwing up slightly with pain.

"Don't do this to me," she begged him, her voice a silent whisper. "Don't tell me lies. I think I've taken enough pain to last a lifetime, from you and your precious fiancee. There's only so much one person can take, and if this is just another way to get a rise out of me..."

He immediately moved forwards, his hands coming to rest on either side of her face, his body leaning gently over hers, his eyes scanning each of hers quickly.

"I swear it's not, baby," he said, barely thinking about what he was saying to her, about what he had called her. "I swear to you, I would never do anything to hurt you like that. I care too much about you." He trailed off, his eyes lowering slightly to their laps, hands still clutching her face gently in his hold. "I care more than I should." His voice was quiet now, almost thoughtful, and it was a surprise to the both of them when she had pulled back, shaking her head as her fingers gripped his arm, pushing his hands away from her body completely.

"Do you even hear yourself?" she cried, her eyes flashing with anger, now. He stared at her, unmoved, and she let out a cry of frustration, shaking her head as she struggled not to break off and hit him right across the face, hard as she could. He was being so difficult.

When he didn't appear to have a clue what she was talking about, she sighed, and went on, her voice strangled as she struggled to keep the weaker half of her emotion back. She couldn't cry, not in front of him.

"You're telling me that you care about me more than you should," she explained, trying her best to keep the pain from her voice. "That's the reason we can't be together, Derek."

He stared at her as though she were the craziest person alive, as though she were speaking another language, and she seemed to realize that he didn't understand, and that she was going to have to explain that one a little bit further. Taking a deep breath, she continued.

"You're not supposed to care about me like this, okay?" she got out, her voice sounding strained on every single syllable. "You're _engaged _to another woman, Derek! You're getting married in less than forty-eight hours to _someone else_! You can only be with one person, and I'm not sure if you know this, but marriage is a long term committment. When it works, it lasts forever."

"And what about when it doesn't work?" he asked, his voice hopeful, strained, and strangely desperate. "What about when... when a guy proposes to the wrong woman? What happens then? Is it really his fault, for thinking he'd found the right person, when really, the right person had been in his grasp all along? Can you really blame a man for getting... _distracted_?"

She turned her face away from his, pain flickering across her features as she shook her head, her gaze torn.

"There are no distractions in love," she murmered, almost under her breath. "There's no second place, no second guessing. When you know, you know."

"Exactly," he whispered, shifting closer to her again, deciding to take his chances. He placed his hand against her knee, squeezing gently as he gave her his softest smile, trying to pour every bit of his affection into it. He wasn't sure how well it worked, but he thought he saw her eyes soften a little bit, when she reluctantly turned her gaze to meet his. Knowing he had her attention, he continued with his explanation.

"When you know, you know," he said, repeating her words from only moments before. "And believe me, Casey, there's nothing that I know more than_ this_, more than us! I may not be the brightest guy around, but I know my own feelings well enough to know who I need in my life, and you win that competition, flat out. I can live without Vanessa in my life, no matter what me and her shared over the past year or two. I can admit that I'll probably miss her, and that she'll probably always hold some sort of place in my heart, but it's nothing compared to what I feel for you."

He paused, only for air, and it only took a second before he had continued, not wanting to allow her a chance to lose concentration on his words.

"You've held first place in my heart since I fell in love with you back in high school," he explained to her, his hand still resting on her knee casually. "You say there's no distractions in love, but I can't agree with that. There's distractions, but that's all they are; _distractions._ A distraction can never replace something stronger, something so real. A person can love a few different people in their lifetime, Casey... but that love is always different. In my opinion... what I feel for you is stronger, _because_ of what I feel for Vanessa."

She snorted, shaking her head as she tried her best not to blow him off completely, and kick him out of the apartment before he tore her heart any further apart. He could sense this from the smothered look on her face, the look of absolute confusion. He knew she was torn between her obvious feelings for him, and her strong urges to do the right thing, to allow him to follow through on his previously made comittments to his fiancee, to the girl that he was supposed to love more than anyone else.

"How do you figure that?" she questioned, obviously not seeing his point. "Because I really don't see how you can put that theory together."

Knowing he would have to explain himself, he sighed, straightening up again, but never moving his hand away from her knee. He had a need to touch her right now, to feel her close to him... to remind himself of why he was doing this, of why he had to get her back. Because he couldn't live without feeling her next to him, day and night. He needed her more than he would ever need anyone else.

"When we were together back in high school, I was so in love with you, and don't let anything I tell you now think otherwise," he cautioned her, knowing that she would immediately jump to the worst conclusion, once he started explaining himself. He didn't want to hurt her anymore, so he knew that she had to understand that his love for her had never wavered, throughout their relationship. That wasn't what he was trying to hint towards at all.

"Like I said, I always loved you, just as much as I do now," he continued, taking a deep breath as she nodded, showing that she understood this. Relieved, he went on. "But there was always something about our relationship that kept it so stable, and do you want to know what that was?"

She couldn't speak, she could only nod in response to his almost rhetorical question. Accepting this answer, he went on.

"Something that kept us together, that kept us from going to anyone else, was that we didn't have a _choice_," he explained, putting all of his emphasis on the final word, as he drew in a deep breath, his eyes narrowed as he struggled to concentrate, and convey what he was feeling so that it made sense to her. Knowing that he was on a roll, he continued.

"Back when we were together, you loved me, and I loved you, and that was all there was to it," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "It was simple, it was easy. There was absolutely no sacrifice involved for us to be together, and maybe that's why we lasted so long. You didn't have to give up anyone, and neither did I."

"Are you going anywhere with this?" she finally asked, her eyes bored as she shook her head at him, not understanding what he was trying to do. He paused for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly as he fixed her with a serious look, one that told her to be silent, and reluctantly, hesitantly, she shut her mouth, rolling her eyes as she folded her arms across her chest, giving up.

"Sorry, continue."

He hesitated for only a moment at her attitude, before deciding that it wasn't too important, at the moment. He couldn't blame her for being a little bit impatient. He wasn't exactly good at explaining these sorts of things, but he knew that this was one time where he would have to suck it up and try. Because losing Casey was something he couldn't handle, anymore. He had dug himself in way too deep to even bother trying to escape, and he knew immediately that he would have to see this thing through to the end, whether he had a happy ending, or not.

"Like I was saying, there was never any sacrifice," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "There was just me and you, and that's all there was to it. But now, Vanessa's in the picture."

"And so hell begins," Casey murmered under her breath, a dark look in her eyes at the mention of the woman she despised so much. Derek couldn't help but chuckle at her comment, and he gave her a half-smile as he nodded his head, raising one shoulder into a shrug as he acknowledged the truth behind her words.

"Yes, hell would be one word for the past two months, with you two," he agreed, shrugging his shoulders. "But if there's one thing I can understand, it's that I was wrong when I tried to force myself to love one of you. I mean, I've been all over the place lately, Casey, and I've made a mess for myself, and a mess for the both of you. That was something I never intended to do, and if there's one thing I regret, it would be that."

He paused as she finally turned her gaze back to his, and he didn't hesitate in continuing, knowing that she was listening, that she needed to hear this.

"I've been trying to tell myself that I love Vanessa, and that I don't love you anymore, and when that didn't work, I tried pinning it the other way around. I tried to tell myself that Vanessa means nothing to me, and that you're the only girl in my life. I tried to tell myself that, because I was falling in love with you again, it meant that I couldn't love Vanessa, that I had to choose between loving you, or loving her."

He sucked in a sharp breath, shaking his head as he cringed, acknowedging his own mistakes.

"I can see now that I can't just... do that," he admitted, his voice wavering slightly with emphasis. "I love you, and I never want you to doubt that. What I feel for you, Casey... it's something that I can't go back on, and I can't forget, not now. Not now that we mean so much to each other; I've dug myself in way too deep for that." There was a pause as he frowned, thinking hard, and when he continued, his voice was deeper, almost remorseful. "But there's always going to be a part of me that still cares deeply for Vanessa, and I think that's something you need to understand, to understand how hard this is for me."

She shook her head, her eyes still full of misunderstanding as she gave him a sad look, obviously not really grasping how much pain he was truly in.

"You can't have both of us," she reminded him, her voice lined with traces of pain- pain that he had never wanted to cause her. If there was one thing he would always regret about telling her this, it was that she would always be well aware of the fact that he had hurt her, by doing this. He was telling her that, no matter how much he loved her, Vanessa still meant something to him. And while he was well aware that this was hard for her to hear, he knew that he had to be honest with her, that she had to hear it.

But she was right in saying what she had just said, and he knew that he had to make it known that he acknowledged that, that he knew he couldn't have both girls.

"I know I can't have the both of you, Casey," he admitted, shaking his head at her as a sad laugh escaped his lips. "I'm not that greedy. But that's exactly the point I'm trying to get across to you, is that I can't choose both of you. When it comes down to it, when it comes down to who I want to be with, I need to pick someone, and you can't imagine how much it kills me to know that someone is going to wind up getting hurt, here. No matter who I pick, someone is going to be heartbroken, because I know that someone's going to be the one left behind here. Depsite Vanessa's thirst for money, and her... er, _unique_ personality, she does love me. In her own way, she does. I know it would hurt her if I left her, but at the same time... I know it would hurt you, if I chose her. I think you can be strong enough to admit to that, right?"

She hesitated for only one brief moment, before a small sob escaped her throat, and she nodded hard, squeezing her eyes shut tightly as she struggled to fight back the tears. Something like relief flickered through him as he acknowledged what this meant, that Casey loved him too, that she wanted him to choose her just as much as he didn't want to hurt her. But he didn't want to come off as too surprised, so he quickly nodded, sighing as he bit his lip, frustrated.

"That's what I thought," he said, his voice strained. "And see, that's the thing. I made a comittment to Vanessa, and I know how powerful that sort of thing is supposed to be- marriage, that is. It's supposed to be forever, and at the time, maybe that was what I wanted. But you weren't in my life then, and I didn't _have _that sort of choice. It was simple and easy, just like me and you had always been. It was me and Vanessa, and there was no second choice, no alternative. It was marry Vanessa, or be alone."

He looked into her tear filled eyes, and without a second thought, he had reached out, and brushed his warm fingers gently along her cheeks, wiping away the tears that had escaped her eyes as he spoke. He cringed at the sight of her pain, but knew that he could not afford to get sidetracked by comforting her. He had to explain himself before he lost his nerve. So he wiped away the few remaining tears, and pulled his hand back, resting it against her knee again as he sighed, continuing with his speech.

"Love is about more than simplicity, Casey," he finally said, coming to the realization for the first time since he had begun speaking. "Anyone can love more than one person, but it's a sign of true love when you're able to give up everything, and anyone, to be with that person. When you're able to sacrifice something easier, something alot more sensible, to be with someone... that proves what's stronger. And Casey, when it comes down to it, when I close my eyes and try to imagine what life would be like without you, I can't do it. If you still mean this much to me after seven years, even with my wedding in two days, I know where my heart belongs. Vanessa's done some pretty cruel things in the past, Casey, most of them towards you, and I won't hide that I resent her for that. But a part of me cares for her, and I want you to understand that she does mean something to me."

He paused to wipe away a few more of her tears with his sleeve, and he trailed his hand down to grip her shoulder gently as he shook his head, bringing his little speech to a close perfectly.

"It's over," he said, shrugging his shoulders as he shook his head. "If it comes down to this, if I have to choose between you two, there's absolutely no competition. Love is about sacrifice, and... you may not be the easiest choice for me, Casey. Picking you over Vanessa will probably cause alot of problems for me. I'll have media after me for the next month or so, hounding me about why I called off my wedding. I'll have her whole family turned against me, not that I had that great of a relationship with them to begin with. They're slightly psychotic." He paused for only a moment, a half smile forming on his lips at the thought of Vanessa's crazily obsessive parents, but he quickly rushed on, sensing Casey's confusion.

"Like I said, you're definitely not the easiest choice for me. Being with Vanessa is, like I said, simple. My life would be full of fame and money, I wouldn't have to worry about taking care of a kid every single day when I got home, because I happen to know Vanessa doesn't even want kids."

"Good thing," Casey snorted, obviously remembering Vanessa's reaction to Justin, but Derek ignored her as he went on.

"I wouldn't have to give up any part of a normal life to be with Vanessa," he said, shrugging. "But I'd have to give up you, and I'm not willing to do that. It's finished, Casey, it's over with. There's no second guessing myself anymore. I know what I need, and that's you. Love is about sacrifice, and there's nothing I'm not willing to give up to be with you."

Without another word, his lips had turned upwards into a smile, and he was suddenly trailing both of his hands towards her waist. He was usually nervous when he got this close to her, so it surprised him when his palms remained unsweaty and stable, sliding smoothly over her waist as he gripped her gently, and pulled her a little closer towards him. His eyes were looking right into hers, and while he didn't feel nervous in the slightest, it was obvious that she did. Her tear-filled eyes were hesitant, her hands were frozen stiffly against her lap, and she wasn't moving, wasn't smiling. This was easier for Derek; he'd made his choice. There was nothing now that she didn't know, that he hadn't already told her. His concious was clear, and what he wanted was right in front of him.

But it was obvious that Casey was uncertain, and he could only think of one thing to do to prove to her that he was willing to give everything away for her, and that he wanted to be with her just as badly as she wanted to be with him. His mind was going against all logic now, and he couldn't find it in him to give a damn.

"Don't look so upset," he whispered, his lips a mere inch from hers now. "You can trust me, I promise."

Her breathing hitched in her throat, and he saw the hope flicker through her eyes at his words, but without saying anything else, he had used his grip on her waist to pull her to him, between his legs. He was leaning back against the arm of the couch, where his pillow was lying beneath his back, and he had her held at an angle so that her chest was pressed against his. In the brief moment that he allowed his eyes to remain open, he saw her hesitation, and saw her uncertainty. And his mind only wanted one thing, then and there. He wanted to make her certain, to make her absolutely sure that he would never give her reason not to trust him. He needed to drive that uncertainty from her mind, and he knew just how to do it.

Without another word, he had leaned in, and against all reason, he pressed his lips against hers. The feeling was more incredible than he could've imagined, and he knew immediately that he was making the right choice, in leaving Vanessa to be with Casey. If she would just admit to wanting him too, he knew that they would be perfect together. The feeling of kissing her brought back every single feeling from seven years ago, and the feeling of it all was just too amazing to describe, too much to handle.

The only thing that would've made it better was if she had been kissing him back, but at first, she wouldn't. Her body was stiff and rigid, and she seemed unable, or unwilling, to move at all. It was as if the smallest amount of movement would ruin everything, would change his mind.

He pulled back enough to look at her face, and he saw that her eyes were closed, even after his lips had left hers. He brought one hand up to trace the outline of her cheekbone, and he shook his head, his voice hoarse and eerily calm when he continued.

"Don't think about it," he said, shaking his head. "There's nothing to think about. This is me. This is _us_. You never let anything stop you before. Just think like nothing's changed."

Her eyes opened for the briefest of moments to connect with his, and before he could read the look in her eyes, they were closed again, and one of her hands was running through his hair, her fingernails grazing his scalp as her lips pressed to his, suddenly motivated, powerful. It only took him a second to grip both her waist and her face as best as he could without hurting her, and then he was kissing her back, beyond all reasoning. Nothing else was going through his head at the moment as she pinned him against the arm of the couch, her lips searching his with a desperation he hadn't known existed.

Her hands were roaming all over his body- up and down his chest, through his hair, fingertips grazing against his neck teasingly, but never lifting off of his body for even a split second. There was a desperation in her kiss, a hunger of some sorts, that Derek was all too eager to return.

But like all kisses, it had to end. If only for lack of oxygen, he pulled away, his breathing heavy as he pressed his lips softly to hers once, twice, and again, just for safe measuring. Hie pressed his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes, trying to catch his breath as he listened to Casey do the same above him. He could feel her chest rising and falling against his own with heavy labour, and he could feel the warmth of the little breaths that she blew out as she struggled to breathe right.

He found it in him to smile as he kept his forehead pressed against hers, his grip on her waist tightening as he trailed the other hand down to a parallel with the first hand, on her other hip.

"That was..." he started, but nothing could describe it, and he didn't even want to try. "I can't even describe it."

She laughed softly, but for some reason, she sounded upset... lost, torn. Like she was about to give up the most important thing in her life. He figured that he must be thinking ridiculously, for those sorts of thoughts could never pass through her mind, not now, right? But he couldn't even open his eyes to see how she was reacting. He was too caught up in the bliss of kissing her again, in the feeling of being so... alive, so real.

"I'm glad to see you're not letting your morals stand in the way of us," he managed to get out, still smiling as he watched the blackness against the backs of his eyelids. "I was afraid for a minute there, that you would. You've always been so stubborn."

And suddenly, she was tense again. Her body froze against his, and he could feel the change in her mood automatically, as though she had just now realized what she had done. He felt his own body tense, and he prayed that he hadn't just set her off on some moral streak again, like he had first suspected of her.

But when he opened his eyes, and saw her broken ones staring back at him, he knew what was going through her mind, and he knew exactly what she was going to do.

Desperately, he shook his head, panic rising in his throat as he read into her thoughts, realizing what she thought was best.

"No," he choked out, his voice shaking slightly. "Casey, no. _No_! I'm not letting you do this."

A tear escaped from her eyes, and she brushed her hand gently against his cheek, shaking her head as she kept her forehead connected with his. His widened eyes stared into her pained expression, and he was shaking as she held back a sob, obviously determined.

"You were right, Derek," she managed to get out, the tears evident in her voice. "Love is about sacrifice, and it's about being able to give up everything for someone you truly love."

He nodded his head, reaching up to place his hand over hers on his cheek, his eyes begging.

"Then stay with me," he pleaded with her, his voice still unsteady, nowhere near as confident as it had been before. "Tell me you're not going to turn around and leave me now. Tell me you want this too."

Her eyes were hesitant, and she shook her head as she bit her lip, obviously set in her ways- too set to turn back and forget her morals.

"I'm sorry, Derek," she whispered, her voice truly filled with remorse. "I'm not letting you give up your whole life to choose something you already acknowledged isn't the easiest path for you. I want you to be happy, and I want you to have a good life. If you give up your wedding now, if you call everything off with Vanessa, everyone is going to be against you. The media will never leave you alone, your company will probably look down on for you all the bad publicity, and... and you've already put so much time and effort into planning your life with Vanessa."

"I don't care," he whispered, shaking his head as he tightened his hold over her hand, needing her to understand. He sat up straight, and she was sitting on his lap as he fixed her with a serious look, his eyes wide and shocked. He had been so sure that he had her cornered, that she couldn't find a way to turn him away now.

Apparantly, he'd been wrong, for she merely gave him a sad smile, another tear escaping her eyes.

"Maybe if it had been sooner," she said, shrugging as she shifted off of his lap, standing on her two feet and using his grip on his hand to pull him up with her. He landed right next to her, his chest pressed against hers, and his eyes never wavering from her blue ones. He was still shaking his head as she spoke.

"It's much too late to call everything off," she whispered, kissing his forehead gently, her lips practically burning his forehead. "I hate Vanessa, I do. But you can't just do that to her, Derek. It's wrong. This is wrong, and I'm sorry."

"Casey," he choked out, shaking his head as she reached down onto the foot of the couch, grabbing his jacket, and clutching it tightly in her hands. She pressed it against his chest, and it was a mere automatic movement when his hand shifted to hold it. His hands were shaking, and she had to physically tighten his fingers around the material so that he wouldn't drop it.

Pulling her hands back, she shook her head, fixing him with an absolutely broken look.

"Love really is about sacrifice," she said, shrugging. "And like you said, I was never the easiest choice for you."

She led him towards the door, her hand guiding his elbow, and he found himself shaking his head as he struggled to accept how much had changed within five short minutes. His victory had been so brief, so quick, that he wasn't even sure he could call it a victory. Her morals and her concious effort had intervened much too soon for him to even gloat in the success of getting her back. He had been so sure that she was going to give in, that he had her.

He'd just been so sure that she needed this too.

"I love you," was all he said, unable to think of anything else. His expression was dazed, and he shook his head as he subconciously slipped his sneakers on, like she had motioned for him to do. It wasn't even a concious effort to walk towards the door. In fact, he was pretty sure it was her hand on his elbow that had brought him here, but suddenly, he was standing on the other side of her doorway, his expression absolutely pained, his eyes lost, his black jacket clutched tightly in his fists.

She merely choked back a sob, nodding her head as she wiped away another tear that had fallen, letting her sleeve soak up the salty emotion.

"I love you too," was all she managed to get out, and before he had time to think, her lips were on his once more. He was too numb to even kiss her back, not that there was time. The kiss that she gave him was soft and apologetic, gentle and friendly. And he understood what she had meant it to be.

It was a goodbye kiss.

Her eyes were void of emotion as she pulled back, unable to stop the tears as she gripped the doorknob tightly with her free hand, staring at him through tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry."

And that was the last thing he heard, before the door closed gently in his face. But to him, it would've been better if she had just slammed it right into the doorframe, like she had done on countless other times, when she had been angry with him. Anger was better than this. Anger was much more easier to handle. He could've handled a punch in the face, a couple of harsh words. Hell, he could've even handled an 'I hate you.'

But this was much, much worse. Because he had just put up with the most painful thing he would ever have to endure in his life. Casey had just broken his heart.

And that was something he wasn't sure he could handle at all.

* * *

**Eek. I'm sorry! So that was probably completely OOC, but nobody knows what the characters will be like as adults, and especially once they are parents, and have to soften up a bit! Anyways, that's just the Derek I like to convey in this story. So review, and I'll update soon. **


	23. Dialtone

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Dialtone**

"Derek, if you don't eat something, you're going to die of starvation before we even get married," Vanessa joked, as she watched her fiance poke at his food lazily. She frowned slightly when he didn't even look up, and she tilted her head as she placed her fork down next to her plate, giving him a concerned look. He was barely paying attention to a word that she was saying, to be quite honest. He was slumped down in his chair, staring straightforwards at the plate of lasagna in front of him. Derek loved lasagna, but at the moment, all he was doing was staring at it, giving it the occasional poke with his fork.

Clearly, he wasn't very hungry. And quite obviously, Vanessa wasn't okay with that. She'd come over early the night before to apologize to him for the argument that they had gotten into on the night he'd gone to Casey's. He'd quickly forgiven her, telling her that he understood, and that she had been right in saying that he wasn't there enough for his friend. To be honest, he really hadn't been in the mood for another fight; he wasn't sure he had that much willpower left in him. She had been slightly surprised when the matter had been closed so quickly, and had then proceeded to question where he had been while he was gone. He had made up a lie on the spot, claiming that he had gone to his brothers house across town. The last thing he needed only hours before his own wedding was his fiancee throwing a fit because he'd spent a night at Casey's apartment. There was no need for her to get worked up over something so seemingly innocent, even if he knew that he'd completely betrayed her by kissing another girl. But Vanessa, God love her, didn't seem to notice a thing, and she hadn't pressed him on the matter any further.

But when Derek Venturi wasn't hungry, there was usually a cause for concern, and she didn't miss a beat on this one.

"What's gotten into you?" she questioned, when he didn't respond to her. "You've been moping around since yesterday aftenoon when you came home from your brothers house. To be honest, I'm worried about you."

"Don't be worried," Derek mumbled, shaking his head as he raised his shoulders high enough to shrug, trying his best to come across as half normal. "I'm okay. I've just got alot on my mind right now, that's all. Nothing for you to be concerned about."

Vanessa shook her head as she straightened up, picking up her fork again. She speared a stray noodle on the fork, and chewed on it quietly as she fixed him with a look that clearly stated this wasn't over. He felt like groaning, but he knew that would come off as too unwilling, too obviously upset. He just wished that she would drop the matter; he wasn't in the mood to discuss it anymore.

"I'm allowed to be concerned about you," she went on, her voice determined and confident. "We're going to be married in less than twenty four hours, Derek. And that means that we're going to have to learn how to communicate a whole lot better than this. If you feel like there's things you can't tell me, or things you should keep from me, then-"

"Vanessa, stop."

His voice was harsh, and there was an angry edge to it as he struggled not to let loose and yell at her. She was being so insistant about him telling her what was wrong, and why he was so upset. Normally, he'd have no problem with telling her why he was in a bad mood. She could help him through things sometimes, and even if she had no advice to give him, it was often nice to just have someone else know what you were going through, even if you had the feeling that they didn't listen to you half the time.

But this was something that he would never tell her. He highly doubted that Vanessa wanted to hear all about how he had allowed himself to spend the night at his ex-girlfriend's house, and how Casey had been completely wasted to the point of no return. And even more than that, he didn't think that she would want to hear all about how he had pledged his love for another girl, devalued any feelings that he had ever held for her to show how strong his love for someone else was. And kissing Casey... well, if Vanessa knew that, then he highly doubted that she would still be in his apartment, right about now. She may not be the best person in the world, and she might not have the strongest of morals, but cheating was something that he knew she would never tolerate from him. If she had known that he had kissed another girl, she'd be at Casey's apartment right now, and he knew that some sort of a fistfight would've ensued itself. He would never put it past Vanessa to get violent with Casey, and he certainly didn't doubt that Casey would hit back, if attacked.

At least, he hoped she would. In any normal situation, she would step up and defend herself, whether it meant using violence or not. But now that she had done something so immoral, in her own eyes, would she really feel as though she had a right to defend herself, to fight back? He knew how easily she could feel guilty, and he knew that she often beat herself up over such things. As much as he would hate it if the girls got into a fight at all, he didn't exactly think it was best for Casey to stand there and take all the punches, just because she was ashamed of what she'd done.

Relieved that he hadn't told Vanessa, and that he didn't have to worry about such matters, he sighed, looking up into the hurt eyes of his fiancee. He hadn't meant to snap at her like that, and he certainly hadn't meant to upset her, but really, couldn't she give up while she was behind? It was painfully obvious that there were some things he just didn't want to talk about, and this was clearly one of them. Any normal person would've sensed that alot sooner, and he couldn't help but feel a bit angry towards her for pressing the matter so roughly.

But he wasn't up for starting a fight, and he didn't want her to get angry with him all over again, so he shook his head, practically tossing his fork down onto the table as he ran a hand through his hair, grimacing.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" he got out, not feeling very sorry at all. "I don't mean to act any differently towards you, but I'm just having a really tough time with some stuff. This is going to sound really harsh, but if I wanted you to know what was going on, I would've told you. But this is something I need to figure out on my own, and I'd appreciate if you'd just do me a favour and quit bugging me about it, because you're really not helping at all."

Without another word, he had pushed his hands against the cool surface of his plate, pushing it towards the center of the table. He pushed his chair back at the same time, pulling himself up onto his feet. He had tossed his napkin down onto the kitchen table before Vanessa could utter a word, and he noticed out of the corner of his eye that she was gaping after him, her mouth open is slight surprise at the little fit her fiance had just thrown. Her eyes had widened slightly, and if Derek wasn't so numb to everything around him, he probably would've chuckled slightly at the look on her face, for it was actually sort of amusing. It wasn't often that someone told Vanessa off and put her in her place, so when he occasionally grew a spine and told her off, it was easy to admit that it felt pretty damn good.

Maybe if he wasn't so wrapped up in thoughts of Casey, and of everything that had happened the day before, he'd be able to focus on that slight victory over Vanessa a little bit better. But sadly, he hadn't so much as smiled since he left Casey's apartment the day before. He had just been so certain that he had her back, that they were going to make it through everything together. He didn't even have to force himself to imagine the feeling of her lips against his; he could still feel it, as though it had been only moments before. His lips felt like they were still warm from kissing her, he could almost feel her fingers brushing against his skin in the same soft manner as they had the day before, when she had given into his kiss. He could practically feel that his feelings had been reciprocated; nobody could kiss someone with that much passion if they didn't feel strongly for them.

Derek hated that he wasn't handling this better. He was supposed to be strong, though hell knows he had completely blown that particular reputation out of the waters the day before, when he'd allowed himself to get emotional with Casey. He couldn't remember the last time he had let his soft side show so strongly to anyone. That was a part of him that he could acknowledge existed, but that he preferred to keep hidden from the public eye. He hated coming off as a softie, because if anyone discovered that he really did have a soft side, and a heart... well, they might think he was weak, and that was something that he'd always feared.

But he had put everything on the line with Casey, and he had allowed himself to turn into some mushy and romantic sap, if only for an hour or two. He had found himself wondering, during the long drive back to his own apartment, whether or not he would take the whole thing back, if he could. Should he have merely settled for a simple "I love you", and then asked her if she would take him back? It would've taken less time, and maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much, that way. Part of the reason he was hurting so badly now was because he had told her _everything_ that he felt, and it still hadn't been enough to earn her back.

And he didn't want to feel this pain. He didn't want to acknowledge that she had absolutely broken his heart, but he knew that there was no use in pretending he was stronger than he was. There was only so much that one person's heart could take, and he was pretty sure that his own had just met it's limit. No matter how strong he was, he couldn't hide that Casey had hurt him, and that he was hurting right now. He was ashamed of how weak he was coming off as, but he couldn't find it in him to care, anymore. He didn't have Casey. He'd lost any chance that he had of being with her, and he was pretty sure their friendship was practically damaged beyond repair now. How could they go back to friendship, when they both knew how much they loved each other?

He stormed into his bedroom down the hallway from the kitchen, and slammed the door violently behind him. He paused for a moment, listening to hear whether or not Vanessa had gotten up to follow him, but he heard nothing, and assumed that she was going to respect his wishes, and leave him alone for a little while. He had a moment of appreciation for his fiancee, for recognizing that he needed to be alone, but the appreciation was almost immediately replaced by downright irritation with her, for setting him in such a bad mood in the first place.

He supposed that it wasn't exactly her fault that he had fallen in love with Casey. He wasn't even sure if that was the right way to put it; he had never really fallen out of love with her, to be exact. His feelings had just been temporarily forgotten, focused on Vanessa and his career, rather than on her. But his love for her had never disappeared completely, and that was something he could admit to, now. And he could also admit that he was weaker than he thought, if he was this torn up over losing Casey. He really hadn't had her back to begin with, but there was an emptiness inside him now that he knew only Casey could heal. Like the analogy he had come up with once before, that Vanessa was only stitching the wounds over, never fully healing them, he knew that the wound had ripped open again. This newest heartbreak had just reopened wounds that had been artificially held shut for years now, never fully gone, but never quite as painful.

He knew he'd get over it, eventually. Vanessa had stitched the wounds up before, and Derek could only hope that she would be able to do it again. He'd never feel for her what he felt for Casey, and it was never going to be enough for him... but he'd get by. He wasn't going to curl up in a ball and call his life quits, just because Casey had rejected him. Sure, he'd probably mope around for a little while, but he'd get back on his feet again, at some point. He'd recover. It didn't seem possible at the moment, when the wound was still so fresh, but he knew that time was the key to understanding and forgiveness, and that he would have to wait for any real changes to happen.

And while the pain was already fresh, who's to say he couldn't try just a little bit harder to get her back? After all, it would be better to call her now, and try to talk to her, rather than wait until he had started to move on a little bit. He couldn't imagine that she could hurt him anymore than she already had, so what was the harm in trying to talk some sense into her, just one more time? She hadn't wanted to walk away from him, he just knew it. The look in her eyes when she'd kissed him goodbye, when she'd told him that she loved him and that she was sorry she had to do this... there had been more behind her words than mere honesty. She had been telling the truth, he knew that much. She did love him, and she was sorry that things had to be this way, but he knew that there was longing behind her words, as well. Her voice had hinted at the pure desire she had to take his hand and tell him to stay with her, to lie against his chest and promise she would never leave him.

And he knew that, if he could just appeal to that side of her senses, he could win her back. He had to try.

He dialed her number quickly, and he found that he was actually surprised when she answered the call on the second ring. He hadn't really been expecting her to pick up the phone at all, considering the fact that she had Caller ID enabled at her house. He had figured that she would just ignore the call, or else pick up and hang up right away, to prove a point. But her voice came over the other line, sounding equally as pained and moody as he was sure his own did. He wasn't sure whether or not he should be relieved that she was struggling with this too, or whether he should just feel bad for putting her in such a situation.

"Casey," he said, trying to keep his voice down so that there was no chance of Vanessa hearing him. "I didn't think you'd pick up the phone."

"I wasn't going to," she admitted quietly, and he could've sworn that she was fighting back tears. "But I knew that if I didn't, you'd just keep calling me. I know how you are, you're stubborn like that."

"That's how I get ahead in life," he said proudly, managing to curve the corners of his mouth up into the best smile he could muster up, given the circumstances. It wasn't working too well, so he allowed the frown to settle back in quite comfortably, before sighing, running a hand through his hair.

"Considering the fact that I'm already labelled as stubborn, I might as well cut right to the chase," he told her, shrugging his shoulders as he paced the room, trying his best to distract himself. "I want you to rethink this, Casey. I'm not going to get on with all the mushy and romantic crap that I spit out at you yesterday, because obviously, that didn't work. Every word of it was the truth, and I wouldn't take any of it back, even if I could. But I probably shouldn't have gotten so emotional with you. It's not who I am."

She snorted, not sounding surprised that he regretted letting his emotional side show.

"Same old Derek," she said, but there was a hint of amusement in her voice as she spoke. "I dunno, I sorta like the romantic side of you. You've got a real way with words, when you actually put your soul into it."

A frown graced his lips, and he felt his cheeks heat up as they turned red with embarassment. He ducked his head, even though she wasn't even in the room, and he found himself mumbling when he spoke again.

"You're making fun of me," he decided, offended. "If that's what I get for being a softie-"

"I'm not making fun of you," she rushed to correct him, and he could just picture her shaking her head now, panicking as she realized he had read the wrong meaning from her words. "Not at all, actually. Like I said, I actually sort of like it when you're cute like that. That's a side of you I really don't see too often."

If anything, this only made the blush in his cheeks worse, and he found himself stuttering when he spoke up again, his voice shaky.

"Th-Thanks, I guess," he stammered, clearing his throat immediately to try and signal that he was uncomfortable with all of this emotional stuff. He didn't like addressing the fact that he'd caved- that he had finally let his emotions speak for themselves, the day before. It wasn't in his nature to be mushy like that, and he knew that it wasn't a trait he would display very much in his lifetime, if at all. He shuddered at half of the words he'd spoken to her yesterday; he must have come off like such a romantic.

But if Casey liked that...

He shook himself out of his trance as Casey continued speaking, catching onto the fact that he wanted to change the subject, and quickly. He was relieved, though he hesitated when he started to listen to her, half scared of the words that would leave her mouth next.

"Is there a reason you called, other than that?" she questioned, and he could just picture her raising her eyebrow hopefully, praying he would say something good. "Because I really don't think it's a good idea for us to be interacting more than we have to. Knowing how we feel about each other, it's going to be hard to shove those feelings aside, and I really think it's best if we don't talk to each other for awhile, at least until after you're married. Something tells me you won't be as quick to cheat on Vanessa if you're married to her. I think you've got higher morals than that, at least."

He didn't respond, because he wasn't too sure she was right. She might think that he would never cheat on Vanessa with Casey, once the two of them were married, but would he really follow through on his loyalty? Could the mere fact that he had a wife stop him from kissing Casey, the next time she tempted him like she had the day before? Would his status with Vanessa really change anything, when Casey was in front of him? For some reason, he found himself doubting his self-control in every single way. He couldn't picture seeing Casey, and _not _wanting to pull her into his arms and kiss her, regardless of whether or not Vanessa was his wife. Knowing that she felt the same way towards him had just driven every ounce of previous self-control to the point of no return.

And subconciously, his mind flickered back to a scene that had unfolded in front of his own eyes when he was nine years old. His best friend at the time, aside from Sam, had been his first cousin Ricky, who had only lived three blocks from Derek at the time. The two of them had been inseperable, and on that particular day, they'd gone back to Ricky's house after a game of street hockey with some of the kids on Ricky's street. They had opened the front door to find that his mother, Derek's own aunt, had been yelling at her husband to get the hell out of her house. Derek and Ricky had quickly darted into the dining room before anyone had really noticed they were there. Derek regretted the moment the two of them had even decided to go into the house in the first place, because the look in his aunt's eyes as she yelled at her husband, who had been having an affair with some woman from his work, had been absolutely unbearable to look at. He had never been able to look at her the same way again, because even four years later, when she remarried, giving Ricky a stepfather and herself someone to love, he hadn't been able to look her right in the eye. Her eyes had been bright and blue that day, full of happiness and light, but it had only taken one look at his cousin's mistrusting eyes to know that Ricky didn't trust anyone with his mother anymore, and even she didn't trust her new husband to the extent that she should.

Yes, Derek had witnessed the effects of someone cheating on their wife. His cousin had never really trusted his own father, even when he had decided to show his face back in London, when Ricky was sixteen. Even in Derek's eyes, the man hadn't been as great as he had once seemed. He hadn't been the playful uncle that had once played street hockey with them, or who had taken them to hockey games when they were five. The only thing Derek thought of when he'd caught sight of the man who had once been his uncle, was the memory of his aunt's broken eyes, as she screamed at him to get out of the house.

And as much damage as Vanessa had done to Casey, and as horrible as she could be sometimes, he rather felt that nobody deserved to be hurt in that sort of way, no matter what they'd done. Yes, maybe Vanessa could be a horrible person, but she didn't deserve that sort of mistrust. Truth be told, he felt horrible enough for cheating on her the day before, before their wedding had even taken place. He couldn't imagine the guilt he would feel if he were to cheat on her once they'd been wed. He couldn't just have both of them. He'd made his choice, and that choice was Casey. But if she wasn't willing to make that sort of sacrifice, then he was just going to have to suck it up and make this thing with Vanessa work .

But only if he couldn't get Casey back. He was handling this in a horrible manner, he knew, and he knew that he was using Vanessa if he stayed with her, but he couldn't help it. That selfish part of him that had once existed in high school was still there, and it had obviously decided to rear its ugly head again.

"You're right," he finally managed to say, shrugging his shoulders absent-mindedly as he sighed, taking a seat on his bed. He clenched his fist around the edge of the blue and white blanket beneath him, finding that he was nervous, for some reason he couldn't even explain to himself.

"I won't go back on my promises to Vanessa, once I'm married to her," he explained, his fist tightening considerably over the material of the blanket. "I'm not that big of a jerk, despite everything I'm doing now. I already feel horrible enough about cheating on her... but I wouldn't take it back, not at all."

There was a moment of silence as he allowed Casey to digest that much information, knowing that she would probably have something to say about his last comment. He waited, biting on his lower lip patiently as he waited for her to say something. And sure enough, after a few moments of thinking, she spoke up, her voice slightly surprised, but definitely not disappointed.

"Are you crazy?" she asked, and he was sure that she was trying to sound as though she completely regretted the kiss, even though they both knew that she didn't, or rather couldn't, regret such a thing. Nonetheless, she tried to keep her tone surprised and slightly angry, as though she was appalled by his words.

But Derek kept his tone calm, shrugging a shoulder casually as he leaned back on one elbow, holding the phone up to his ear with his free hand.

"No, I'm not crazy," he responded, not understanding her reaction. "I don't regret what we did, not at all." There was a moment of silence, before he added a final note to that statement. "Why, do you regret it?"

For a split second, he feared that his suspicions had been wrong, and that she really did regret kissing him. He was pretty sure that would break him entirely, considering the only thing that was keeping him half sane was the fact that she loved him too. If she didn't, he wasn't sure how he would be coping with this right now. He wasn't exactly glad about how she had dealt with the situation; having her love him back, but not willing to be with him, was almost as bad as not wanting him at all, in a way, because he knew that he had been so close to having her back. So close, and yet so far.

Nonetheless, it was a relief when he heard her give a defeated sigh, and give him the answer he had been secretly assuming all along.

"No, I don't regret kissing you."

There was silence, and he had a feeling that she was expecting him to respond to that, but he had nothing. Sensing this, she breathed in deeply, and continued.

"But just because I don't regret it, doesn't mean it was the right thing to do," she went on, and he rolled his eyes as he prepared himself for a lecture. Leave it to Casey to squeeze in a lecture about wrong and right, good and evil. If he had wanted to take a nap, he would've gone to bed early. But yeah, her boring lecture would do the trick too.

He was so consumed with figuring that she was about to give him an earful that it came as a shock to him when she did no such thing. He had prepared himself for an argument over what was right and what was wrong, but she surprised him completely when she went off track a little.

"Don't you see what we've caused, Derek?" she questioned, earning no response from him. When he didn't answer, she went on as though she hadn't asked him anything. "As much as neither of regret what happened, it caused a whole lot of problems that could've been so easily avoided. I mean, think about it. You feel guilty now, because you know you cheated on your fiancee. And while I may hate the woman, I feel like some sort of whore for kissing someone else's man."

Derek couldn't fight back the smirk as he shrugged his shoulders, laughing gently.

"I'm _your_ man," he teased, and if she had been in front of him, rather than on the other line of the phone, he would've thrown in a wink for effect. He knew that it would've practically caused her to melt under his gaze, but sadly, this was a telephone call. Winking would serve no purpose, over the phone.

Nonetheless, he heard her fight back laughter as she went on, trying her best to ignore him.

"Be serious here," she warned, and he only laughed again when he heard her fighting back a smile. She must have sensed his knowledge, for she quickly rushed on, trying to forget what he had just said to her.

"Like I've said, we've caused alot of problems. The guilt, we can maybe live with. But... well, I don't know about you, but I don't think I'm going to be able to deal with what this is going to do to our... to our friendship."

Any sign of laughter that had been in his voice before suddenly disappeared, and his body was rigid against the mattress as he stared at the ceiling, wide-eyed. He didn't want to believe what she had just said to him, because she wouldn't let such a thing happen to their amazing bond, right? Hell, _he_ wouldn't let something like this come between them. But even as he thought these thoughts, he recognized how awkward things would be between them, if they remained friends now. Seeing each other all the time would be almost unbearable, and he knew that the only thing that would flash across his mind everytime he saw her would be the look in her eyes when she'd kissed him goodbye, and pushed him out the door. He would never be able to shake the empty look in her eyes, the look of someone who was shutting themselves down, locking out the pain and the feelings they didn't want to experience anymore.

But still, he couldn't imagine a life without her in it, even if the most he could get from her was friendship. He wasn't too sure he would be able to handle being her friend now, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to fight his hardest for such a thing.

Trying to allow his body to relax a little bit, he cleared his throat, gripping the phone tighter against his clenched fist. His eyes flashing with slight anger, he spoke up, his tone harsh.

"What do you mean by that?" he questioned, knowing perfectly well what she meant. "Me and you... we're best friends, Casey. You can't honestly tell me that you actually _want_ me out of your life, can you?"

He prayed that she would assure him on this, and that she wouldn't tell him that was exactly what she wanted. He was pretty sure it would kill him if she were to tell him she would prefer to have him gone. She filled a space in his life that nobody else could ever replace, friend or otherwise. Without Casey, he knew he wouldn't feel as complete as he had over the past two months. And even then, he had never felt complete, because they still hadn't taken that final step to making their relationship work. They were best friends, but that was entirely the problem. That was all they were; friends. And, as much as he valued her friendship, he knew that they were supposed to be something so much more than friends. They were supposed to share a bond so much stronger. If only she would close her stubborn mind, and allow him to take her back, make her his girl again.

"No," she finally answered, her voice quiet as she sighed with defeat. "No, that's not what I want at all. But this is going to be really hard, now. Everything's so complicated, and I... I don't know how hard it's going to be to rebuild everything based on friendship. Not knowing how you feel about me."

They fell into an awkward silence, and his teeth clenched together as he closed his eyes, thinking hard. He was immune to everything around him as he tried his best to come up with some sort of a solution to this problem, something that would convince her of how much he cared, of how much he needed her. He could only think of one thing that would make them both completely, one hundred percent happy. He'd already tried to get her back, and that had failed. But having Casey be his girl again seemed to be the only way that this relationship was going to work. They cared too much about each other to let things rest at friendship, and yet she cared too much to let it go any further than that. What a sad predicament they had gotten themselves tangled in. If only she had come back into his life before Vanessa had somehow conned him into proposing to her, before he had gotten in this deep with someone else .

He could only think of one solution, and however horrible he knew it made him, he wanted her to make the selfish choice, the choice that would make them both so happy, even if it would leave Vanessa completely alone. He knew that he shouldn't worry, that she had family, she had friends. Hell, she probably had a thousand guys in line after him, just waiting for something to go wrong at the last minute. And he could give those other thousand guys a chance with her, but he knew it would hurt Vanessa. He knew that, if Casey gave into what he wanted, and if he left her, Vanessa would hurt. It was not something that he wanted, and it was not something he had planned.

But wouldn't he be hurting her even more if he went through his life completely dedicated to someone else, in his heart?

Yes, he knew that he had to give Casey the chance to come back to him, before it was too late to make that choice.

"All or nothing, Casey," he said, sighing as he presed his free hand against his forehead, rubbing his temple to relieve some frustration. "You say we can't be friends if we feel like this towards one another, but I'm not willing to take nothing from you. You're too important for me to let go without a fight, so I'm giving you an option. All or nothing."

Her breathing hitched in her throat, and he listened as she choked back a sob, obviously fighting back tears.

"Derek, we've had this discussion," she reminded him, causing pain to flicker through both of them, at the memory of their conversation the day before, the one that had ended in heartbreak for the both of them. "I told you. Being together isn't what's best for you. You may think it is, but I know that you'll regret it afterwards, and-"

"I won't regret anything about this conversation, unless I fail to get you back," he said, his voice strangely calm and steady, despite his nerves. "But even if I fail, at least I know that I tried my hardest, that I fought for you. That's going to mean something to me, in the end, knowing that I tried."

He hesitated, wanting to give her a chance to put in her opinion, but when she remained silent, he took it as his cue to go on.

"The wedding is at five o'clock tomorrow evening," he said, drawing in a deep breath, and opening up his eyes. "It's at the same church our parents got married in, nine years ago. I know that you know where that is."

He took her silence as an agreement, and he knew he didn't have to question her on that one; she knew perfectly well what church he was talking about. It had been more of a rhetorical sort of thing, to question whether or not she knew where it was. He wasn't concerned about that much. He knew that it was safe to continue, and that she was following along perfectly fine. This was Casey, after all. She wasn't stupid.

Taking a deep breath, he prepared to give her the ultimatum that he knew could make or break the rest of his life. She could choose the selfish thing to do, the pathway that he knew would make them both happiest, in the long run. She could choose to love him too, and make him the happiest man on the planet, in the process. Or she could choose to stand by her morals, and let Vanessa win. She could tell him that they couldn't be together, and that she'd thank him someday, something he knew would never happen.

"Like I said, I'm getting married five o'clock tomorrow evening," he repeated himself, his eyes fixed on the ceiling carefully. "I'm going to have my cellphone with me right up until the ceremony begins, and I'll be at my apartment until two thirty, or so. It won't be very hard to reach me, if need be. So I'm going to give you a choice, Case, and I don't want you to make any rash decisions, because this is something you need to be sure on. I want you to think it through, before you do anything too radical."

"What sort of choice?" she asked, disregarding everything else that he'd said, hoping to get to the point more quickly. "Why would I try to get ahold of you?"

He frowned, not understanding how she had not caught on yet, but knowing that he could explain himself easily, and that she would have alot to think about, once the two of them hung up from this phone call. He wanted her to know how important it was to think this through carefully, to be absolutely sure on her response.

"Here's the deal," he said, his voice as serious as if he were making some sort of a business deal. "You contact me before the wedding, anytime at all, and I'll listen to whatever you have to say to me. I don't care if you change your mind five minutes before the ceremony starts, though I'd prefer you give me a little more advance notice than that, but I won't exclude it. All you've got to do is call me, and tell me you love me too. All you need to do is say the words, and I'm yours. I've told you, love is sacrifice. And I am willing to give up anything to be with you, so long as I don't make any sort of committment to Vanessa first. I could call off the wedding altogether right now, but to be honest, I'd never be certain on how you felt."

"And why is that?" she asked, her voice oddly strained under the pressure. "You think I'm lying to you?"

"No," he said quickly, being completely honest. "I don't think you're lying. I know you're not lying, actually, but truth be told, I think that... if you love me as much as you say you do, you won't be able to let me go through with this. It'll keep you awake tonight, knowing that I'm marrying someone else. And if I can call Vanessa my wife by this time tomorrow night... then maybe it would prove that not being together would be the right thing. Because... like I said, if you love me enough, you won't let me go through with something you know in your heart is wrong."

There was a frustrated groan from the other end of the line, and he found himself clutching the phone tighter in his hand as she fought back against him, her voice urgent.

"That's not fair," she tried to argue, but he laughed sadly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Who said anything about being fair?" he questioned, and without another word, he sighed, deciding to end this conversation now, before they wound up in an argument. "Like I said. Five o'clock. Think it through carefully, because you're going to have to live with this decision for the rest of your life."

"Derek," she tried, but he shook his head, not willing to listen to her arguments. She could debate her protests in her head tonight, while she struggled to come to terms with her own concept of loving him. She would sort it all out eventually, whether that be in his own favour or not.

"I won't divorce her for you, once the marriage is finalized," he assured her, his eyebrows furrowed together in determination. "I'm not that horrible of a person. If you love me enough, you won't let the marriage happen in the first place."

"Derek," she tried again, but he cut her off once more, knowing he had to end this call now, before he caved and listened to her protests.

"Goodbye, Casey," he said, his voice void of emotion as he struggled to remain neutral. "I'll talk to you soon, I hope."

There was silence, and he considered hanging up, figuring she must not have anything left to say. He waited for that extra moment, the phone held tightly in his hand as he prayed that she would say something. Just when he was about to give up on her, and hang up the phone, she spoke his name quietly on the other end of the phone, her voice so broken that it almost killed him to listen to her speak. He knew she was in pain, and he knew he was a source o that pain, but he couldn't help this. This was something that needed to be done.

"Derek," she whispered, more of a question than anything else.

"Yeah?" he responded, trying to keep his voice empty of any traces of hope and knowledge of her feelings. He didn't want to seem like he knew what her choice would be, in the end. That would make her feel predictable, and heaven forbid the poor girl feel predictable.

But she went against what he had expected when she gave a sigh, one that clearly signalled defeat and regret, all in one moment.

"Don't expect that phone call."

It hurt to hear that, he couldn't deny that even to himself. Hearing her deny him like that was almost too painful to endure, but something gave him the courage not to drop the phone, not to just drive over to her apartment and just shake her for being so stupid, for denying them both something they both needed so badly.

But he didn't get a chance to do or say anything. He might've responded, if she had allowed it. But she didn't.

Because, before he could even register his pain in his mind, she had hung up the phone, leaving him to the mercy of the dialtone.

* * *

**Mostly a filler, but at least I updated quicker than before. Anyways, the next chapter will be the wedding, so I guess we will have to wait and see if Derek and Vanessa will make it through the ceremony, and what sort of tricks Vanessa may have up her sleeve? I write faster with reviews, so click that tempting little button down there, pleaseee!**


	24. Running Scared

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Running Scared**

Despite the fact that Casey first woke up at nine thirty on the morning of the wedding, she didn't actually get up until twelve fifteen. She had forced herself to go back to sleep, knowing full well that, if she were to stay awake, she would give in. She would wind up snatching up the phone and calling Derek back to tell him that she was sorry for pushing him away, and that she still loved him. And hell, she wanted to make that phone call so badly, more than she wanted anything else in the world. There was nothing that she desired more than to reassure the man that she was in love with him, and that she wanted to be with him just as badly as she wanted to be with her. She wasn't sure if she had expressed her feelings clearly enough to him over the past two days, but in all honesty, she would give up her life to be with him.

The day before, she had allowed Derek to be the one expressing all the emotion, making all the promises. She had sat there through his long speech about how love was sacrifice, the whole time biting the inside of her mouth until she could taste the coppery sensation of blood escaping the small cut that had formed there. It hurt, but she knew that if she hadn't kept herself from talking, she would've come out sounding like ten times more of a sap than he had. She would've revealed how much she wanted to just give in, to give him what they both knew they needed. She knew she had hurt him terribly by shoving him away, especially after she had given him the impression that she was willing to take him back. She supposed that kissing him, and telling him she loved him too, hadn't exactly been the best of signals to send out to someone who was due to be married in a days time. She had vowed to herself, from the very beginning, when they had run into each other in the coffee shop, that she wouldn't allow herself to fall in love with him again. She had never thought that running into him again would be much of an issue, with the exception of the son she had been hiding from him, but the moment she had looked into those beautiful brown eyes, she had been drawn to him almost instantly. The attraction that had so long been buried, lost and forgotten, had almost immediately snapped back into full gear, making her heart beat at irregular intervals that hinted at feelings she would rather forget.

And despite the fact that she'd fought to keep it a physical attraction, despite the fact that she had tried her very hardest to keep herself from falling for his usual sweet talk and flattery, she had fallen in love with him again. She wasn't so sure if the love she had for him had ever really gone away completely. Because, as hard as she had tried to tell herself that she only appreciated Derek as much as she did because of what he was doing for Justin, it had always been more than that. It had been all too easy to pretend she only wanted him there as a father figure for her son, when Justin was around. But those two painful weeks after social services had taken Justin had been more difficult for her than she had originally anticipated, and not just because she missed her son, but because she missed Derek as well. But on a different note, she missed that little boy like crazy. Justin was her one pride and joy, and to have him taken from her so suddenly, so cruelly, had been heart-wrenching. Everytime she closed her eyes, and thought about her son, all she could remember was the broken look in his eyes when the social worker had led him away from his parents by the hand, taking him off to a place he wasn't supposed to be. He belonged with Casey, and just as equally with Derek. How could those social workers look at Casey, and see a monster? Didn't they see the obvious love she felt for her son, practically radiating off of her everytime she laid eyes on the boy? It was so obvious that they had a strong bond; that much had been quite clear when it had come time for the social worker to take him away.

But Casey had come to terms with the fact that she couldn't hold the blame against the social worker for doing her job. This case meant nothing personal to her, and she really had no personal gain in taking Justin away from his mother. She had gone to work just like anyone else would. She had been given an address, and had been told to retrieve a little boy from his mother. She couldn't refuse to do her job, Casey understood that. She had tried pinning the anger against the woman for days, but had only discovered that it made her feel worse to blame someone who she knew really wasn't to blame.

Vanessa alone held the blame in this one, and Casey didn't have to work hard to hate her. The hate that had developed between the two of them had brewed naturally, almost as though they had never had a chance to begin with. She had a feeling that, no matter how nice they had tried to be to each other in the beginning, and whether or not they put in the effort to try and become friends, it would never happen. There was just too much resentment there, on both sides of the fence. Casey would always hate Vanessa for the way she had treated Justin, and even more for the fact that the woman was set to be Derek's wife. She had a feeling that she'd held resentment for the woman for this purpose since before she even met her. To be honest, Casey hadn't minded Vanessa's music at first. She hadn't been a huge fan, she supposed, but she could recall actually listening to a few of her songs on the radio, before it had been announced that she was going to be getting married to her publicist. After that, Casey remembered how quick she had been to violently shut the radio off whenever she heard that annoyingly high-pitched voice coming through the speakers of her radio. The prejudice had formed automatically, and there had been nothing she could do to stop it. And once she had actually met her, and witnessed the way that Vanessa treated her son... well, there was no hope for a friendship after that. Anyone who spoke ill of her son was automatically the enemy, in her books, and that would never change. The protective mother instinct that she had developed over the years was imprinted far too deep into her being to even bother fighting.

Besides, who wanted to be friends with Vanessa anyways? Vanessa hated Casey just as much as Casey hated her, if not more, so really, why bother to fight an inevitable rivalry? Sure, Casey could say that she had judged Vanessa a little bit too harshly, considering that the initial reasoning behind her hatred had been purely because she was Derek's fiancee, but really, were Vanessa's reasons any more justified than that? The only reason that she could possibly hate her was because she had been so special to Derek, back in high school. Casey knew that Derek must have talked about her alot before the two of them had even been reunited, because Vanessa had given her the cold shoulder from the moment they'd laid eyes on each other. Maybe even Vanessa could see that Derek had never really let go of Casey, but was that her fault? Should she be judged and disliked because of Derek's feelings?

Casey finally sighed, rolling over onto her side as she stared across the living room, one hand tucked underneath her head carefully. She had collapsed onto the couch about twenty minutes before, after she'd cleaned the apartment in a failed attempt to distract herself from Derek, and from making that phone call. Her mind had never been far from Derek; it was like it had been trained to focus on him, and only on him, and she didn't like that. Everytime she had tried to force other thoughts into her mind, they would always twist and turn until she was somehow thinking of Derek. She knew that he would laugh at her if she were to tell him that his face never left her mind; she imagined that he would smirk, that knowing little gleam creeping into his eyes as he winked at her suggestively.

She rolled her eyes at the thought; he was so egotistical, even in her own daydreams.

She glanced across the room to check the clock that was mounted on the kitchen wall, right above the stove. She squinted at both of the hands until she recognized the time, and sighed, flopping back down onto her back again. It was four fourty. She only had to hold out for another twenty minutes, now. Another twenty minutes and she wouldn't have to be on edge like this, physically holding herself back from calling him. It was stressful, having to refrain from doing something that she knew in her heart was the right thing to do. She _knew_ how she felt about Derek, and she knew that she was going to regret letting him go, at some point. Whether that regret creep up on her the next day, or a week from now, or even ten years from now, she knew it would be unavoidable. At some point in her life, she would regret letting Derek go, and it was that nagging thought that kept directing her gaze towards the cordless phone, sitting untouched on the coffee table in front of her.

There was really only one thing keeping her from calling him, now. She had told Derek that she didn't want to be with him because it wouldn't be what was right for him, in the long run. She had made the claim that she wasn't the easiest choice for him, and that she couldn't keep him from having a happy life, one that would be a heck of alot easier than the life he would have with her, if she let him stay.

But that was only the half of it. True, Casey knew that letting Derek marry Vanessa would probably be easier for him, in the long run. Sure, he'd be heartbroken for a little while, but she was hoping that the pain would fade quickly, and that he could start concentrating his thoughts and affection on Vanessa, like he was supposed to be doing. Once he had gotten Casey off of his mind, he could move on, and live his normal life, the one he would have gone on to lead if he had never gotten involved with Casey in the first place. He would have a wife that would eventually make him happy, he would have a career that wasn't constantly being threatened because of the bad publicity he had brought to the company, and he wouldn't have to deal with the same sort of limitations that Casey always seemed to be facing in her life. She loved Justin, and you would never catch her denying that. If someone could offer to go back, and make it so that the little boy had never been born, she wouldn't take them up on the offer, even if it would mean not having to deal with the autism anymore. Sure, having an autistic son cut down on her amount of free time, and yeah, there were days that she wished he didn't have autism. But if it came down to not having Justin at all, she knew that she would rather have him just the way he was, rather than have him go anywhere at all. The past two weeks without him had proved that.

But there was another reasoning behind Casey's refusal to be with Derek, something that she hadn't admitted to him. Yes, she wanted him to have an easier life, and sure, that had influenced her decision slightly.

But there was more to it than that. During her phone call with him the day before, when he had been spitting out ultimatums at her, something had occured to her, something that she hadn't really thought of before.

Derek was being unfair. He claimed to love her more than anything else in his life, and he had assured her that he was willing to give up anything to be with her, to win her back. He was willing to cancel his wedding, if Casey were to come forward and say that she would be with him. The way he was wording things sort of made it seem like Casey was the one who wasn't giving up enough here. He had twisted things around until it seemed like he was the only one who cared about what was happening between them, and she didn't feel as strongly as she claimed she did.

But for a person who spoke so confidently about sacrifice, Derek really didn't stick to his own morals. He was making her out to be the bad guy in all of this, claiming that she wouldn't let him marry Vanessa, if she loved him as much as she said she did. Who was Derek to tell her how much she loved anyone? If he only knew how much time she had spent thinking about him, since the day they'd broken up, over seven years ago. If he had known how many nights she'd spent in university, sitting on the floor with her back against the bed as she flipped through a photo album and held onto her ever-growing belly, just wishing that he had been lying there with her the first time she felt the baby kick. She knew that he would've liked to be there for something like that.

And how many nights had she come home from a date, even after Justin was born, just waiting for the babysitter to be out of the building, before she'd fall against her bed in tears, not even listening to hear the sound of the sitters' car pulling out of the parking lot below. It would only ever take her a mere twenty seconds to break down crying, sobbing against the sole comfort that was her pillow, knowing that, no matter how many guys she dated, she'd never find someone who would even come close to _him_. He'd been so perfect, and in the seven years that they had been seperated, she had never come across anyone quite as amazing. Maybe he'd found something close, but she didn't have that sort of luck. She was stuck in a hellhole that she had created for herself, and not a day passed by where she didn't regret breaking up with him.

So for Derek to turn around and tell her that this wedding depended on her choice, that if it went ahead, it was proof that she didn't love him enough... well, that just angered her even further. How dare he pin the responsibility of this wedding on _her_? How on earth could it be _her_ fault if he married that wretched descendant of Satan? If he wanted to marry her, that was his choice. Sure, she'd told him that she wanted him to marry Vanessa, and yes, she had pushed the idea. But Derek, and Derek alone, held the responsibility to call the wedding off, if that was what he really wanted. And, because he was showing no interest in doing such a thing, Casey rather felt that there could only be two reasons behind his actions.

Option one; he didn't want to call off the wedding. Maybe, despite everything that he had told her over the past two days, he really didn't have much of a desire to leave Vanessa. Maybe he was only telling her all of this because he thought that she would never give in, that she would never allow such a thing. She wasn't sure whether or not he was actually right about that, considering her lack of self-control throughout the day, but nonetheless, the reasoning was there. Could Derek have pulled this whole thing just to get her to admit to her feelings? The more she thought about it, the less likely it seemed. What would he really get out of such a thing? He might get a rise out of her, sure, and maybe he'd have something to use against her later... but she couldn't really imagine Derek doing something like that to her. Yes, he was the picture of perfection in her mind, but even from an unbiased viewpoint, she didn't think Derek was capable of that. Even his high school self had better morals than to trick someone into admitting how they felt.

Option number two, the more likely of the pair; Derek was a coward. Casey knew that he always liked to come out on top, and that he would do almost anything to ensure that his own place in society was never threatened. It had been that way in high school, and it was most definitely that way now. If it wasn't, Derek probably wouldn't have gotten together with Vanessa in the first place. She knew how important his reputation was to him, even if he would deny that it was one of the main aspects of his life. She knew him, and she knew that he always had a backup plan- a way to dig himself out of almost any threatening situation. And she was sure that this was no different. If Derek didn't want to call off his engagement to Vanessa, that was his own choice. And maybe he was only giving her this whole ultimatum because he felt like he needed something to fall back on, a backup plan, of sorts. After all, where was the sense in dumping Vanessa to be left alone, right? Heaven forbid he do the right thing because he had strong morals. She hated that she had such a lack of faith in him, but if he was the sort of person who would marry a girl that he knew in his heart wasn't right for him... then she had to question just how much he was really willing to sacrifice to be with her.

If he had just called the wedding off from the start, maybe she would've given in, and agreed to be with him. After all, it was only her doubt of what he really wanted that was holding her back right now. If he would just call off the wedding, and give her some sort of a sign that he really _was_ willing to sacrifice everything, then maybe she would compromise her once confident reservations.

But she wasn't going to play as a pawn in his silly little game. She wasn't going to give in just so that he could call off his wedding, and still have a backup plan. She wasn't going to be held up to such a standard. If Derek was really serious about calling off the wedding, he should've done it regardless to whether or not she made some stupid phone call.

Just as she was thinking this, the cordless phone rang next to her head, and she snapped out of her thoughts, her eyes wide with surprise. She hadn't really realized how lost in her own little world she had been in, until the ringing of the phone had brought her back to reality. She made a quick glance at the clock, and noticed that it was a quarter to five.

She bit her lip; fifteen minutes until Derek's wedding. What were the chances that it would be him on the other line?

Casey straightened up, sitting up as she reached for the phone, grasping it in her hand easily.

Glancing at her caller ID, she rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she placed the phone down aganst the coffee table again, deciding to ignore it. Derek just didn't know when to leave well enough alone, did he? Did he honestly believe that making some last minute phone call to tell her what she already knew would change her mind on the matter?

She wasn't that easily persuaded.

But just in case, she left the phone face down on the coffee table, not trusting her self-control well enough to expose herself to the sound of his voice- so soft, so enticing... so tempting...

It was a good thing that the answering machine cut in then, because she had a feeling that the phone would've been in her hand quicker than she could have imagined, if the beep of the machine hadn't snapped her back into focus. She had even leaned forwards in a subconcious attempt to pick up the phone, but she drew back shamefully as she listened to her own voice over the machine, asking the caller to leave a message. And, with another beep, that was exactly what the caller did.

"Hey Case," Derek's voice came over the speaker, and she felt her heart clench when she recognized how miserable he sounded. "It's me... but I guess you already knew that, and that's probably why you're not answering your phone, or whatever."

She rolled her eyes as she leaned back, propping her feet up in front of her so that her legs touched her chest. He knew her so well sometimes, that it scared her.

"Anyway, I know you're probably listening to this right now, and I want you to know that... well, what I said yesterday, it still applies," he continued, and she cringed at the edge of hope in his voice. She realized then that he was under some sadly mistaken impression that she was going to change her mind at the last second; that she was going to cave in.

Fat chance. But nonetheless, she forced herself to listen to the voice on the other line, trying her best to ignore the strain that he was obviously feeling.

"I'm at the church now," he said, before pausing. She frowned; surprised at the amusement that was suddenly lining his voice, replacing the previous anguish. She wasn't sure what the sudden change had been all about, and wondered for a moment if she was imagining it.

Deciding it didn't matter, she tuned back in.

"The wedding is supposed to start in about ten minutes," he said, the amusement still lingering in his words. "If I'm lucky... you're not answering because you're already on your way over here, but I know you better, and I know you're too stubborn to get your ass up off that couch and come down here. Well, let me tell you now, missy, I haven't given up on you yet, so I fully expect to see your car pulling into that parking lot at any second."

There was nervous mockery in his voice as he gave a slight chuckle, sighing.

"Anyway, I didn't call you to make fun of you, or to point out what you already know- that you're impossibly stubborn, of course. I called to tell you that I'm still completely in love with you, and... and I'm really hoping you'll change your mind about this, Casey, about _us_. You know that I love you... what more do you have to question?"

She allowed her eyes to flutter shut as she clenched her fist around the cushion of the couch, trying her best not to get up and pick the phone up, interrupting his message with words so romantic and sweet that he'd probably beg her never to get sappy on him again.

But she kept herself under control, and listened as he sighed sadly, obviously trying hard not to appear completely defeated, though he probably felt it.

"Anyway, I guess that's all I had to say," he finished, his voice surprisingly steady and calm. "I'm hoping to see you soon, and... and whatever you decide, I hope you're always happy, Case. I love you, and... yeah, bye."

Without another word, he had hung up, and Casey had to fight back laughter and tears at the same time. Leave it to Derek to end what had otherwise been a sweet ending of the phone call, with a comment like "yeah, bye". Only he could be so stubborn. Only he could be such a selfish idiot as to expect her to play as his backup plan, as the girl he would turn to if he left Vanessa.

Yes, Derek was a selfish idiot, and a huge one at that. But still, throughout it all...

"He's _my_ selfish idiot," Casey murmered, a tear escaping from her eyes before she squeezed them shut, breathing in deeply. "And I'm just as big of an idiot for loving him too."

Her eyes shot open then, and she shook her head, her mind completely made up.

"What am I still doing here?" she questioned to herself, suddenly pushing herself away from the couch, almost falling facefirst into the coffee table in the process. She caught herself just in time, drawing in a sharp breath as she shook her head, darting immediately towards the front door of her apartment, shrugging into a black zipup hoodie as she stepped into the first pair of shoes she could find. She was fumbling for the zipper on her hoodie when the phone rang again, and she rolled her eyes, groaning loudly.

"_C'mon_, Derek!" she cried, frustration lacing her voice thoroughly. "I already feel like a big enough idiot for giving into your crap, what more do you want from me?"

Annoyed, she grabbed the phone, fully prepared to yell at him for being such an idiot, but the anger wiped off of her face immediately when she noticed that it was an unfamiliar number. She wondered vaguely if Derek was just trying a new approach, and calling from another number, but she decided that she'd better answer it anyways, just in case.

She just hoped this wouldn't set her back at all, in getting to the church on time. She only had ten minutes, after all. It was a good thing the church was a mere five minute drive from her house.

"Hello?" she said frantically, as she rolled up the sleeve of the sweater she was wearing, only now realizing that it was one of Derek's. He must have left it behind when he had been there one night. She hadn't really noticed what she had been putting on, but she was grateful for the warmth it provided, not to mention the wonderful scent that radiated off it, that could only be described as _Derek._

"Ms. McDonald?"

She rolled her eyes at the formality of the voice, and prayed that this wasn't a telemarketer or something; if it was, she'd break this phone in half, here and now. She wasn't about to lose the love of her life over some stupid telemarketer begging her to switch credit card companies.

"Yes?" she questioned, hoping that she didn't sound too rushed, but would get across the point that she was in a hurry.

"This is Jemma McKinnon, from the children's center your son is being held in."

Casey froze then; the feminine voice on the other end of the line certainly didn't sound happy about something. For once, Casey was praying that Justin was just getting into trouble, throwing too many temper tantrums; something, anything. She had learned not to trust that hesitant and remorseful tone of voice in anyone, and she knew full well that she definitely didn't trust it now.

"Yes?" she questioned, her voice coming out weaker than intended.

"Is your son with you?" the woman asked, sounding scornful, or at least slightly hopeful, as she went onto her next words. "Or his father, even? We thought we'd made it clear to the two of you that he's under the court's custody, right now. Neither of you have the right to take him off of the property of the center."

Casey's voice was stuck in her throat, and her heart was beating madly in her chest as she struggled to breathe. The scent of Derek's sweater surrounded her, making her slightly dizzy when mixed with the paralyzing fear that was shooting through every crevice of her being, right now.

"N-No," she stammered, her voice shaking uncontrollably. "I haven't seen him in... in two weeks, now. I... I haven't been allowed. His f-father is at a wedding, right now. N-Neither of us have him. We know the rules."

The silence on the other end of the line told her everything she needed to know, and suddenly, she was choking over her own words, her entire body trembling uncontrollably as tears escaped from her eyes, mixing with the ones that had already dried against her cheeks, the tears she'd cried only moments before, for Derek.

"_Where is he_?" she was suddenly yelling into the phone, and she didn't even care if the whole building could hear her right now; these bastards had promised to take care of her son. She'd very reluctantly given up custody of her son, in the hopes that the people who were taking him away would at least take care of him. Nothing earth shattering had happened to that little boy in the six years that he'd been under his mothers' care, and if they returned him to her with any damage, any at all... she'd definitely be rethinking her policy of no violence.

The woman on the other end sounded slightly fearful, no doubt scared of the tone of Casey's voice. Casey had the nagging feeling that nobody had wanted to make this call, and she assumed that this woman was making the call very reluctantly. She guessed that she couldn't kill the messenger, but right now, killing anyone in that damn place sounded pretty darn tempting. They were supposed to be doing their jobs; not losing kids.

"We don't want to alarm you, and we definitely don't want you to panic, but your son hasn't been seen in the building since around three o'clock this afternoon-"

"_Three o'clock_!" Casey choked out, her face blood red with anger as she gripped her keys tightly in her hands, ignoring the pain that shot through her palm when she squeezed too hard, cutting her skin against the cool metal of what she was sure had to be her car key.

She glanced at the digital clock on the stove, gripping the wall for support as she tossed the keys down onto the kitchen table again, breathing heavily.

"It's four fifty-two in the afternoon!" she yelled, obviously frustrated. She didn't even consider the fact that she only had eight minutes to get to Derek; there were more pressing matters on her mind, at the moment.

"My son has been missing for nearly two hours now, and you only see it to be necessary to call me _now_? How the hell do you get away with telling me not to panic? You lost my child, I'm not going to sit here calmly and pretend like nothing's happening!"

"Relax, Ms. McDonald," the woman coaxed, sounding nervous now. "We've alerted the police already. Normally, they'd have a minimum number of hours before they'd start a search, but given Justin's condition-"

"Given Justin's condition, he never should've been taken from me in the first place!" Casey cried, pulling away from the wall and swiping violently at her tear-stained cheeks, discovering that she was no longer crying. Her breathing was hard, and her chest was heaving as she struggled to take oxygen into her lungs, but she ignored it as she sniffed, fighting back any sign of tears that were even thinking of resurfacing. Her keys were in her hands again as she shook her head, her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Let me tell you something," she got out, her voice dangerously low as she clutched the car keys against her already injured palm. "If _any _harm comes to that boy, any at all, you'll never hear the end of it from me. I'll have every last one of you sued for everything you're worth, and let me tell you, his father will be just as angry as I am. So I suggest you do everything in your power to get him back, and once you do, you can give me a call, because I'll be coming to pick him up. That boy's not spending another night in whatever madhouse you've got going on over there. If you can't even take good care of my kid, he's coming back home, where he belongs."

And without another word, she hung up the phone, slamming it down against the kitchen table violently. It skimmed across the surface, going at an impossible speed, before it flew off the other end of the table, and smashed onto the floor, the back falling off immediately. The battery popped out, but Casey was already rummaging through the closet at this point, not caring whether or not her phone was broken or not. A broken phone, she could deal with. Letting harm come to her son, she'd never forgive herself for.

She pulled one of Justin's spring jackets off of the nearest hanger, quickly folding it under her arm. She knew he probably hadn't been wearing a coat when he left the center, and judging from the other few times that he'd tried to run off, he knew it was usually a spontaneous decision, brought on quickly by whatever emotion he was feeling, getting too much to handle. Based on that, she supposed that he just would've been wearing his indoor clothes, and although it was summer, it was a bit cool out today. She wasn't going to leave the apartment without something for him to warm up in, when she found him. She had always caught him in time, during his previous attempts to run off. She'd heard about this sort of thing happening with other autistic kids, when a particular emotion got too strong, and they didn't know how to deal with it.

But she'd never had to deal with Justin actually getting out of her sight, and she'd definitely never dealt with this kind of fear before.

But sitting here in the apartment would do her no good, and, with that thought in mind, she was out the door quicker than a bullet.

She had to find Justin before it was too late.

Because she held no greater responsiblity in her life than the responsibility of looking after her son.

* * *

**So there was something I meant to include in the last chapter, but forgot. It's a link to a video on youtube, and I sort of thought it tied in well, to understand Justin a little bit better. Search "I'm in Here- Autism" on youtube, and it should be the first thing that pops up. Anyways, review and I'll update. **

**The link is below. Just take out the spaces. **

www. youtube .com /watch?v1hiQYurSJCQ


	25. Broken Bones

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Broken Bones**

It was funny how Casey had spent six years learning where Justin liked to go, and what he liked to do, and yet, when the opportunity arrived to put this knowledge to use, she completely blanked. She had checked everywhere that had come to mind while she was driving. She had checked out the playgrounds around their house, the playgrounds around the children's center, the park that her and Derek had always taken him to, and even the schoolyard, which had been abandoned since school had let out in June. She doubted that Justin really knew his way to any of these places from memory, and especially from an unknown building, but nonetheless, it seemed logical to check the obvious places first, before doing a more detailed scan of the area.

When she hadn't been able to locate him in any of his usual hangouts, she had resorted to parking the car about a block away from the children's center, and making her way up and down the side roads, asking passerbyers if they had seen the little boy. She had done her best to describe him to the people that she questioned, finally resorting to showing them a copy of Justin's kindergarten picture, the wallet-sized ones that she kept in the front pouch of her wallet at all times, so that she would always be able to see his face somewhere. That had helped alot, during the past two weeks without him. Whenever a wave of nostalgia would hit her, and she would want to curl up and let the tears wash over her, and wipe her of her sorrows, she would merely take a look at the nearest photograph of the boy, and remind herself who she was staying strong for. If she couldn't stay strong for him, she knew that he had no hope of staying strong for himself. Besides, Justin didn't want his mother to have to cry over him, she just knew it.

But the photograph was serving a whole different purpose today, one that she had prayed would never be necessary. It was the most terrifying experience of her life, not knowing where Justin was, and who he was with, Living without him for two weeks had been difficult, yes, but she had gotten by on the reminder that he was safe; he was being looked after, at the centre.

But now, she didn't even have that reassurance, and she knew that, wherever Justin was, he was most likely all alone, and he was probably going to get scared, once he realized that he didn't know the way home. He was famous for running off with brilliant hopes, perfectly content to be weaving in and out of every which direction, and that was okay when Casey was a couple of paces behind him. She had witnessed the way he ran around the backyard of his grandparent's home in London, and the way he would run around the playground, taking confusing turns and making quick decisions. He never had any set pattern to where he was going, and that was what scared Casey so much. Running around like a blind man was perfectly fine, so long as he was in a playground, under careful supervision. But letting a six year old boy, with very limited communication skills, run loose in the streets, turning onto roads that could lead anywhere in the city...

That terrified her. Toronto was a huge city, and it was extremely crowded. The children's centre was downtown, even if they had set it back about a hundred feet from the rest of the buildings, so that the children could be allowed to play in the front yard, under supervision. Casey knew that Justin probably would've known his way around the front and back garden of the children's centre by now; he would be safe within the confinement of the large patch of green grass that was familiar to him. The shadows of the trees that loomed above him, and the familiar sight of the flowerbeds that rested beneath the window sills would be enough to remind Justin of where he was, so long as he never left the property of the centre.

But quite obviously, he had, and who was going to notice a six year old boy wandering around downtown Toronto? Sure, it would be odd to see a six year old boy walking down the road by himself, but the crowds were so packed half the time, that someone could assume him to be with just about anyone. It was summer vacation, so kids were walking along with their parents all over the place, their smaller hands clasped firmly in the larger ones, as their parents kept them safe from harm's way. Who would notice one little boy without a hand to hold? Who would really take the time to stop and question why he was by himself, in a street such as this? And really, even if they did, how was Justin going to explain himself? It wasn't like he had that kind of vocabulary built up in his system, at this point. It practically took blood and tears to get the kid to say 'Mommy'. He wasn't about to look a complete stranger in the eye, and go off on a spiel about how he was a six year old autistic runaway from a children's centre.

After only twenty five minutes of searching, Casey's nerves were running thin. She found herself leaning against the red brick wall of a bank, about four blocks away from the children's centre, the photograph of Justin clutched desperately in her hand. She could feel the crease of the photo, from where it had once been folded against the inside pocket of her wallet, and she didn't even look down as she used her fingers to smooth the crease out as best as she could. There was sweat on her forehead, and despite the fact that she had found it cool enough to bring a jacket for Justin, she found it incredibly hot out. Maybe it hadn't been as cold as she had figured it would be. Justin probably wouldn't even need the jacket, unless it got colder later tonight.

_Tonight_. She shuddered to think that he would still be missing, then. She wanted to get him back before the sun went down, at least. It would be so much harder to find him once it was dark outside, and besides that, she knew that he would be scared. Justin didn't really like being outside by himself at all to begin with, not that he ever really got the chance. And what's more, she didn't want him to be alone in the dark, in downtown Toronto. She shuddered to think of what sorts of people he could run into between now, and nightfall.

Breathing hard, she closed her eyes, trying to keep her tears back. The steady buzz of conversation and everyday chatter continued around her, and she found herself wondering how people could be going about their days so peacefully, when absolutely nothing was peaceful. Her son was missing! Dammit, someone had to feel the paralyzing panic that was already shooting through her veins- someone had to sense the vibe that must be radiating off of her by now. She was sure that the panic was clear in her face, and if she cared to open them, her eyes.

As she was standing there, her back pressed up against the hot brick wall, the sun beating down on her forehead without any sign of mercy, she heard snippets of conversation going on around her, though she didn't dare open her eyes to look at any of the passerbyers. She was afraid that, if she opened her eyes, the tears that she was fighting so hard to keep back would surface, and she would start to cry. And, as tempting as that was right about now, she knew that she had to concentrate until she had found her son, and he was safe and sound in her arms. She wouldn't rest until that happened.

Ignoring the stinging in her eyes, she fought back her pride and tuned back into what the passerbyers were saying.

"-supposed to rain on Friday, so I'm not quite sure we'll be going to-"

"-and then she like, totally stole my boyfriend!"

"-and the media is absolutely _swarming_ the place. I mean, you think they'd give the poor couple a bit of privacy."

"What do you expect, he's Derek Venturi."

Casey's eyes flew open then, and she wanted to slap herself for being so stupid. The wedding! Justin had been attending the wedding, hadn't he? Casey happened to know that the children's centre hadn't been planning on allowing Derek to take Justin away for the wedding. Would he have snuck in and taken his son out anyway? She somehow wasn't certain on that, for even Derek had to have his own set of morals, but she knew that it was a possibility.

She felt so stupid for not thinking of this sooner. How could she have forgotten about the church, especially since she had been on her way there in the first place! All thoughts of going to get Derek back had completely evaporated form her mind when she'd gotten the terrible news of her son's disappearance, but everything was settling back into perspective now.

She wasn't going to race over to that church because she wanted to get Derek back; if she managed it, that would only be a bonus, but she was pretty sure she was too late anyways. It was already twenty five minutes after five; the wedding had already started. She didn't even want to imagine the pain that he must have felt when he looked up at the entrance to the church, and she'd never come through those doors. She had heard the hope in his voice, and she knew he'd had alot of faith in her, more than she deserved, probably. She could tell by the tone of his voice that he had honestly expected her to show up, that he had really been counting on her. And, despite the fact that she shouldn't even be the one with the power to call off his wedding, she still felt bad for letting him down like this. She didn't even want to think of how much hurt must have been in his eyes when she hadn't shown... when she had smashed the rest of his hopes to pieces, ones that would never be fully repaired again unless she somehow won him back.

She had to force herself not to think about Derek; there were more important things going on in her life right now. She had to find Justin, and get him home safely, before she worried about her love life. This was a huge conflict for her; she knew that she had already blown any chances that she had of being with Derek. By the time she got to the church, Vanessa would probably be halfway to becoming Mrs. Vanessa Venturi. She had a feeling that she was too late, on that call. It hurt, it really did, to know that she would never kiss Derek again, and that she would spend the rest of her life wonderng what they could've shared, where her life would've been if she had him by her side.

She hadn't expected it to hurt this much, but the pain was sudden, and it was more than real as she came to the realization that he was gone from her life. Even if they remained friends, which she somehow doubted, it would never get easier to stand next to him, and not be able to have him in all the ways that she wanted. She had been so consumed with thoughts of getting back to Justin before, that she had never really stopped to realize that, by going after her son, she was losing Derek. It wasn't like she regretted what she had done, because Justin always came first. She would never be able to live with herself if she had ignored Justin's needs, and gone to the church to get Derek back. She knew, without a doubt in her mind, that she had made the right choice, and that there was no doubting what should've been done in this situation.

But just because this was the right choice, didn't make it the easiest. The emptiness she felt inside of her was so intense, that it was almost like having an entire piece of her missing. She felt incomplete, she felt empty... she felt alone. The full meaning of everything that she had given up was starting to hit her strongly now, and she knew that some of these consequences were things that she would never be able to handle as strongly as Derek would've liked her to. She was realizing now, that giving up Derek meant going through the rest of her life like she had been doing for seven years now; dating guys that meant nothing, guys who weren't Derek, who could never come close to giving her what he could. She supposed that maybe she could settle, eventually. She would never find a perfect true love, like Derek was to her, but maybe she could find something close to true love- like Derek had found with Vanessa. Sure, she wasn't the perfect candidate, but she made him happy, didn't she?

She was at the church now, and how she had gotten there, she'd never know. She had no concious recollection of even pushing herself away from the brick wall of the bank, over eight blocks back from where she was standing now. She was sure that she must have made some sort of a concious decision on the matter, but it appeared that her own two legs had carried her to this spot, the place she needed to be. She wasn't complaining, and she was definitely grateful that the church had been within a reasonable walking distance from her starting point.

She looked up at the big white and brown building, slightly surprised. It was just a regular church, the same one where her mother and George had gotten married about nine years ago, and the one where tradition was going to fall into place today, for Derek anyways. She was surprised that Vanessa would have agreed to getting married in such a normal place like this, but she supposed that Vanessa probably didn't care, so long as all eyes were on her, as usual. Casey suspected that Derek might have had a say in the matter as well, because the odds of Vanessa picking out a church so plain, all on her own, were slim. The wasn't that smart, and she didn't deserve much credit, in Casey's books. She'd probably hired a team of professionals to plan her wedding, rather than have the experience herself.

Shaking her head, she sighed, and pushed herself forwards, moving swiftly towards the back door of the church. There was alot of media swarming the front entrance, and she really wasn't prepared to push past the lot of them, right now. The reporters that were standing off to the side had surprisingly turned a blind eye to Casey, completely contradicting their obsession with her over the past two weeks. Casey supposed that the wedding of Derek Venturi and Vanessa Williams would overpower their desire to get to Casey, if only for today, but she didn't want to chance the recognition, if she crossed paths with one of them. The last thing she needed was a swarm of reporters hounding her with questions as to why she wasn't in the wedding, how this was affecting her, where her son was...

The last question sparked off her determination, and she found her hands clenching into fists as she rounded the corner of the building, eager to get to the back door. Her breathing was hard, and the sleeves of Derek's sweater had fallen down past her hands now, the garment much too big for the temporary wearer. She didn't bother to push them up as she stumbled blindly towards the back door, her mind foggy with thoughts of what she was going to say when she stormed into that church. She hadn't really thought it through thoroughly yet, but she supposed that she couldn't just barge in there in the middle of the wedding, unannounced. She figured that Derek would automatically assume her reasoning was to get to him, which would've held true a half an hour ago, but since circumstances had changed, she knew that she'd have to say something quick, before he had managed to do or say anything stupid.

She could just tell the truth, she supposed. She could barge into the formal event with the groom's oversized sweater on, her face red with heat, her hair messy, and her chest heaving for air, and tell the whole lot of them that there was an emergency, that she'd interrupted the whole thing because Derek's son was missing. She shuddered to think of the crude looks she'd get from everyone attending the wedding; Vanessa's family especially. She had read the stories that the newspapers had printed about her over the past few weeks, about how she was a homewrecker, a violent mother, a whore, but she hadn't really thought much of what Vanessa's family, and everyone else that they were associated, must think of Derek, for hanging around with such a person. She wondered what sort of comments he'd been putting up with, everytime he went to see her, but she decided that she didn't care. None of it mattered, because it didn't matter what Vanessa's family and friends thought of her. She'd be gone from their lives as soon as she could be, and then they'd never have to look at the violent and agressive homewrecker ever again.

The solution came to her then, easy and simple. She would walk into the church, and scan the front rows for any sign of her little boy. He'd be sitting with George and her mother, she just knew it. He would never be able to sit unattended, and the only people who could take care of him would be his grandparents, since they had so much experience with him. If he wasn't in those rows, she'd know that Derek didn't have him, and she'd know that she had to keep looking. Nobody would see her, if she was careful enough. She wouldn't interrupt his wedding to bother him with this, to cause more trouble than she already had. She could call him when she was sure that the ceremony would be over, to tell him what had happened to his son. She was sure that he wouldn't mind having his wedding interrupted, especially for this, but she wasn't ready to face all of those people. If Justin wasn't in the church, she wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, so that she could keep looking. She knew that sticking around the church wasn't going to do her any good now. She'd already lost her chance with Derek. He'd been plenty clear, during his phone calls to her over the past two days. He would wait, until any point before the wedding. He didn't care if she had given in five minutes before he was due to be married, he would've given it all up for her.

But she had a feeling that almost a half an hour into the wedding would be just a little bit too late for his liking. She could just picture the disappointed look on his face, knowing that she had shown up too late for him, when the damage had already been done, but she decided not to think about any of that. She forced herself to push Derek's face from her mind as she darted around to the back of the building, hoping to sneak into the back door, to avoid the media that were crowding the front entrance of the church.

She managed to pass by the scattered few reporters unnoticed, feeling a wave of hope wash over her as she realized there was absolutely no media hanging out behind the church. The back door was right in front of her, so utterly abandoned, so available... the very sight of it sent shivers up and down her spine. How easy it was going to be, to get into the building.

Even if Justin wasn't in the church, it was nice to feel that tiny bit of hope that was coursing through her body right now. She'd probably need hope, for the rest of this day. She was almost certain that it would be the last of any hope she would feel once she scanned those front rows, and didn't see a trace of her son.

She tried to push the negative thoughts aside as she skidded to a stop in front of the huge wooden door, her oversized sleeve falling over her hand as she grasped at the handle, ready to yank it open.

The hope that she had been feeling was immediately flushed from her system when a much larger, more masculine hand, clamped down over her wrist tightly, hauling her arm almost violently away from the door. A tiny gasp escaped her lips as a similar hand landed on her shoulder, pressing her back against the brick foundation of the lower half of the church. The person standing before her, who had seemingly appeared from out of nowhere, was much larger than her, and although she hoped he wasn't trying to be rough, the impact of her back connecting with the wall caused pain to shoot through her spine. She was sure that he hadn't meant to slam her back that hard, but nonetheless, as she looked into the eyes of tall, muscular man in front of her, she felt fear coursing through her body, a natural reaction to someone so obviously filled with strength.

He towered over Casey; he had to be at least six feet tall. He wasn't overweight, but he was fairly wide due to the broad distance between his shoulders, and the fact that his muscles were practically popping through his shirt. His hair was dark brown, falling over his eyes loosely, and Casey had to admit that he was actually sort of good looking.

He was dressed in all black, though he wasn't wearing a tux. Casey supposed that the clothes he was wearing were somewhat semi-formal; black jeans, a white button up shirt, with a jet black blazer over the shirt. He had black sunglasses on, to shield his eyes from the supper-hour sunshine, and he pushed them up onto the top of his head as he squinted at Casey through his curious blue eyes, looking highly suspicious.

"Going somewhere?" he questioned in a deep voice, his grip on her shoulder never loosening in the slightest. "Don't you know you're not supposed to intrude on other people's weddings?"

His voice was so calm, yet so obviously threatening, that Casey wasn't sure how she should respond to him. She opened her mouth, trying to get something out, to explain that this was an emergency, but nothing came out. Her eyes were fixed on the man's jaw, which had tightened significantly since he finished speaking, and she wondered how she hadn't seen someone this large coming from out of nowhere.

A tiny squeak escaped past her lips as she tried to speak, and the pathetic noise somehow drew her back into the situation, sending Justin's face flashing through her mind.

Justin. Right. She had to get in there to find her son, to see if he was safe with his father.

Clearing her throat, she prayed that she didn't look too terrified, and tried to even out her breathing. She was pretty sure that some of the colour was starting to return to her cheeks as she nodded her head, trying her best to straighten up.

"Sorry, sir," she apologized, deciding it was best to be polite to him. But, despite her attempt to be calm and collective, her voice sounded oddly rushed when she continued.

"I normally wouldn't just barge in there like this, but it's a really big emergency, and-"

"And you can wait until after the wedding," he said firmly, his voice deep and knowing. "It's Casey McDonald, yes?"

She nodded quickly, her eyes panicky as he released his hold on her shoulder, folding his arms across her chest to watch her carefully.

"Yeah, it's Casey, and it really can't wait until after the wedding, I-"

She trailed off suddenly, her eyes flickering with suspicion as she glared at the man in front of her, chills running down her spine.

"Wait a second," she cautioned, shaking her head. "How do you know my name?"

It was a stupid question, though she only realized it after the words had left her mouth. Who didn't know her name these days? She was all over the news lately; she was Toronto's homewrecker, the filthy whore who'd had a baby with her stepbrother and hid it from him for seven years, the monster who'd had the nerve to slap sweet, innocent, uncorrupted Vanessa.

The very thought made her want to vomit. Vanessa was the furthest thing in the world from sweet, innocent... and definitely uncorrupted. The woman's soul had been corrupted by Satan himself, and in all honesty, Casey wasn't too sure that the woman had a sweet bone in her body. It was like Vanessa had been deprived of all decency, of all sense of common sense, and of morals. She really seemed clueless to her own dirty motives and actions, and if there was one thing Casey knew for sure, it was that Vanessa got some sort of sick pleasure out of other people's pain. It was as though her favourite hobby was watching Casey suffer, watching her own web of lies and destruction unravel right before her eyes, sweeping away everything in it's path.

But she always came out on top. She was Vanessa Williams, though Casey supposed that Venturi would soon have to be factored into the equation somehow. Nonetheless, she was a world famous popstar. She was now the wife of a top executive at one of the top record labels in the world. She was so sweet in the eyes of others, that society refused to believe she could ever do anything wrong.

And, because of that, asking this man how he knew her name seemed suddenly irrelevant. Why wouldn't he know her name? She was a monster, in everyone else's eyes. Of course he would know who she was.

Indeed, the man was smirking as he shook his head, a slight chuckle falling past his lips as he unfolded his arms, his eyebrows raised.

"We had a feeling you'd be pulling something today," he said, sounding quite proud of himself for being the one to stop her from entering the church. "Did you really think that someone like Vanessa Williams would have a completely ungaurded wedding? Do you honestly believe that she'd have a single door left ungaurded, a single window within reach of a camera?"

He was standing right in front of Casey now, staring down at her with stone cold eyes as he sneered at her, shaking his head.

"I've been working for Vanessa for two years now," he said, a hint of pride in his voice as his smirk grew wider. "I'm her most trusted bodygaurd, the one she comes to when she needs something taken care of. Whether it be keeping photographers out of her wedding, or stopping bratty little twelve year old fangirls from catching a glimpse of her, it's me she comes to."

His eyes narrowed as he came to a stop, his chest almost touching hers as she drew back against the wall, her body completely parrallel with the surface as she tried her best to stay from him. Her breathing hitched in her throat as she saw the look of pure hatred in the man's eyes. It was obvious that this wasn't just one of Vanessa's bodygaurds. This guy clearly had a close personal relationship with the witch herself, because there was no way that a mere bodygaurd would hold this much passion for someone who was after one of his clients. It was obvious that this guy was a good friend of Vanessa's, and that Casey was nothing but a whore, in his eyes.

Her body tensed as he sighed, ready to finish his statement.

"And even when it's a dirty little homewrecker trying to steal her husband away from her, she'll come to me," he said, sounding braggy again, all of a sudden. "I was more than willing to volunteer to keep you away from the wedding today, and let me tell you, Vanessa's not going to be too happy when she hears about this. She was expecting something like this to happen, and I'm sure that this little development may be enough to persuade her away from dropping any charges against you."

He laughed coldly, his eyes staring right into Casey's as he hovered a mere six inches above her face, every feature of her own face reflected in those stone cold eyes. She held her breath in unwillingly as he shook his head, clearly amused.

"You're in way over your head here, girlie, so I suggest you just get the hell out of her right now, before one of us gets the cops after you. Vanessa's quite willing to file a restraining order against you, and I don't think the police will be too happy to hear that Toronto's newest little troublemaker was trying to get in and crash a very high profile wedding."

"I'm not trying to crash!" Casey finally yelled, the breath she had been holding coming out in one final gasp, burning at her lungs when she drew in a new one. She waited for a moment, watching as he backed off slightly, one eyebrow raised with interest. She sensed that she had his full attention, and even though breathing was difficult right now, she knew that she would have to suck it up, and get on with what had to be done. There would be no other chance to explain herself, since this guy loved running his mouth so much.

Sighing, she went on, her body relaxing slightly as she spoke.

"Look, my six year old son is missing," she explained, her eyes scanning his face for any sign of sympathy as she spoke, though she found none. Regardless of the man's lack of sympathy for the situation, she carried on, knowing this had to be explained further.

"That's Derek's son too, you know, and he... he was supposed to be a part of the wedding today. Now, I don't know if Derek snuck into the children's centre to take Justin out of there for the day, or if he's even aware of the fact that Justin's gone, but I need to get in there and see if my son is there."

The man merely blinked at her, his face void of emotion, and Casey felt panic rising in her throat as she went on, adrenaline pulsing through her veins uncontrollably.

"Please," she begged, her voice laced with a desperate edge, now. "I just need to get in there, see if he's there, and I'll leave right away, I promise. I won't even look at the two of them."

For a moment, she thought she had him convinced. His eyes scanned her face with interest, and he seemed to be contemplating the idea in his head. He was almost entirely silent as she waited, still breathing hard as she struggled to keep her emotions in check, where she could control them. She was nervous, there would be no sense in denying that. Her heart was racing a mile a minute, and she felt like all of her emotions were piling up at once, none more dominant than the others. She needed this man to let her into the wedding. Despite his obvious connection to Vanessa, she was praying that he had the trace of decency that Vanessa did not, that he would have a heart and let her in, or at least agree to check, for her.

But all hope for the situation, and for convincing him to help her, evaporated into thin air as he gave a cold laugh, shaking his head.

"Get lost."

There was something in his voice that just sent her over the edge. The sound of his cruel, harsh words seemed to send a wave of nausea crashing through her entire body, extending through every vein she posessed, and she was suddenly shaking with rage, her face going blood red with anger and hatred. Her hands were clenched into fists, so hard that her nails were digging into the cut that had already formed earlier, from pressing her car keys so hard into the palm of her hand. It hurt, and she could feel a small trace of blood trickling down her palm, but she wasn't even registering any sense of pain as her entire body trembled with rage, and she shook her head, a low growl surfacing from the back of her throat.

"Go to hell," she muttered, and before she knew what she was doing, her fist has connected with his jaw, the only part of him she was able to reach.

She wasn't strong enough to take him on, she had known that from the start. Hitting him had just been a sign to show that she wasn't going to stand here and take this like a wimp; she wasn't going to walk away with her head hung in shame. She'd walk away with her head held high, her dignity in tact... and perhaps a broken hand. She could feel the pain throbbing through her entire back of her hand, and she was pretty sure that she had broken something, but she didn't care. She had fought back, even if she could tell she had barely phased the bodygaurd in front of her, who she was sure by the throbbing in the back of her hand, must be made of stone. He was so much stronger than she was, but she didn't let the pain phase her as she shook her head, catching her balance as she stumbled backwards, turning away from him.

He didn't even say a word to her as she walked off, perhaps knowing that it he really couldn't fight back against her, or maybe not wanting to. He would win, they both knew that. There was two sides to his refusal to fight back, and she knew that it was partly based on the fact that he was a man- a man so much stronger than her. He could take her down in one hit- two tops, and the charges would be so much harsher against him, if he were to hit a woman.

The other half of it was that Vanessa was trying to make Casey out to be a violent and agressive bitch. Casey knew that she had just made things ten times worse for herself by punching Vanessa's bodygaurd in the face, and she knew that this particular story would be all over the news by tomorrow. And she had a feeling that this was another reason why he wouldn't fight back. By remaining neutral, by not getting violent with her, Vanessa could spin this story against Casey. She could tell some sugar-coated tale of how Casey had hit her bodyguard, who had merely been doing his job. If he hit back, Casey would have a perfect right to go ahead and spin the story against Vanessa- claiming that her bodygaurd had hit her back, just because she was trying to get to her missing son, a son with autism, no less.

She pushed all thoughts of consequences, and of broken bones, away from her head. She had more important things to think of right now, like finding her son. She was glad that the bodygaurd didn't follow her, or call after her, because if she had to hear that nauseating voice again, she was pretty sure that she would lose all control entirely, and wind up shattering a bone in the other hand as well. She couldn't even bend the first one, as it was.

As she strode back around the corner to the front of the church, she caught sight of the media, still hanging around on the front step of the church. She froze in her place as an idea popped into her head, as clear as though she had been thinking it all along. She couldn't believe it had actually taken her this long to think of actually using the media to her advantage, instead of warding them off like some foreign illness.

There only appeared to be one bodygaurd on duty in the back of the church, after all. It would only take a split second to gain access to the back door, once he was distracted enough to take his eyes off of her.

Smirking, she took a few steps towards the front steps of the church, preparing herself to make a quick run towards the back of the church again. She knew that she would have to think and move quickly, and be able to dodge past every last one of these reporters to beat them to the door.

It was worth a shot, wasn't it? She had no better ideas, and besides, she knew that the media had been just dying to get an interview with the oh-so-secretive Casey McDonald. They would never pass up an opportunity like this one.

Taking the final step towards them, she made sure that there was a good fifteen feet between them, before gathering up her courage, and taking the dive for insanity.

"Whichever one of you knows how to heal a broken hand gets a twenty minute exclusive interview," she called out, trying to hold back the smirk as every last one of the reporters turned around, cameras and microphones in their hands, notepads in their back pockets. They all seemed confused as to where the tempting voice had called out from, and they looked around the parking lot frantically, their eyes wide with hope. She knew that they were all dying to be the one news station to get that one interview with Casey McDonald, to get the inside scoop on what was really going on with Toronto's hottest love triangle yet.

"Hey, over here," she called out, taking one careful step backwards, bracing herself to run. "Any of you got an icepack?"

They all seemed to catch sight of her at once, and there was only a brief hesitation, before she was suddenly being chased down by a good twenty five reporters. They ran at her at full speed, struggling to hold onto their vidoe equipment as she grinned, and ran towards the back door, making sure she was a good ten feet ahead of them at all times. She also ensured that she was close enough for them to know how sharp of a turn to make, to lead right towards the back door of the church. Right towards the bodyguard, who looked incredibly annoyed as he saw Casey rounding the corner again, her face flushed, a grin on her lips as she darted towards him, ignoring the excited calls of the reporters behind her.

The gaurd's eyes widened as he held up a hand, his eyes flashing with a warning.

"Hey now," he warned, as she sped towards him at full speed. "What are you-"

He didn't get another word out, because, before he could protest, she had grabbed ahold of his blazer hard enough to jerk him to the side, and pull herself behind him. He cried out angrily, no doubt some foul language slipping in there, but within two seconds flat, the media had circled around him in an attempt to get to Casey, and she had slipped underneath the pile of arms and cameras and microphones, slipping towards the door unseen, their eyes too focused on the tall man who Casey had been hiding behind only moments before. By the time they realized she wasn't concealed behind him anymore, she was yanking the church door open, and the last thing she saw was the poor bodygaurd being practically mauled by the media, as one of the reporters caught sight of her.

Just as he pointed towards her, she slammed the heavy wooden door shut, clicking the lock into place immediately. She knew that he might have a key, so she glanced around her quickly, squinting in the darkness of the church basement to find something, anything that would help her out.

She made out the figure of a chair against the farthest right wall, and without a second thought, she had seized it in her good hand, and wedged it underneath the doorknob. It wouldn't hold for long, but by the time he got through the lock, and managed to crash the chair down, she'd be long gone.

She took off running again, ignoring the protesting fists against the back door of the church. She laughed to herself as she realized what a hard time the bodygaurd would have getting to the doors, with a collection of reporters gathered outside of it, eager to get to their lead.

The light hit her eyes suddenly as she pulled open the door at the top of the stairs. The basement lights had been turned off, and while there had been a few small windows near the tops of the walls, at ground level with the pavement and grass outside, the dim and musty light had been nothing compared to the bright lighting that she faced when she stepped onto the main floor of the church. She had to squint for a moment as she tried to adjust her eyes to the new light, and when she managed to see straight, she found a frown forming on her lips quickly.

She had immediately noticed two things, upon scanning the room. She had always been one to notice detail, and that didn't fail her now.

The first thing she noticed upon entering the room, was that the church that her mother had been married in almost a decade ago had been completely transformed into something straight out of the movies, obviously to meet some superstar standard that Vanessa obviously had. The whole place was decked out in white and a soft baby pink, something Casey knew right away that Derek would never have agreed to. He must have been pretty distracted while she planned the wedding, because, although he would settle for the white, Derek would never coat this place in such a shade of pink. White, he would handle, but Derek Venturi would have put his foot down at pink, she just knew it. The place looked absolutely breathtaking, she had to admit, but it was definitely not a wedding that Derek would have had any hand in, had his opinion mattered at all.

The second thing she noticed, was that there was no wedding happening. Yes, everyone was obviously there, decked out in their best suits and dresses, and yes, the decorations signalled a wedding in every way, shape and form. She could see a large number of people sitting down in the long benches inside the church, talking with each other, keeping their children under control, or admiring the beautiful decor. The people that were seated were not the ones that drew in her attention; she had expected this of the guests, though she had not expected them to be sitting around talking like this. She had assumed that they would be watching the wedding intently, by now.

But a much smaller, yet still greatly significant portion of the guests were standing around in small clusters of chatter, talking amongst themselves, glancing around the chapel with confused and searching eyes. A few people were on cellphones, their eyebrows furrowed in disbelief as they waited for an answer, or asked hurried questions.

She caught sight of her mother, standing near the front of the church with her arm linked through George's. If the circumstances had not been so dire, Casey would have commented on how gorgeous her mother looked in her white attire, and how well the curls in her hair seemed to fall against her neck, in beautiful little ringlets. She would've admired the silver locket that her mother was wearing, one that she had never seen her mother wear before.

But now was not the time, and when Casey took a step further into the church, her eyes confused, her mother caught sight of her daughter. Casey supposed that she wasn't that hard to see. Everyone was dressed in black, white, or pink for the most part, and here she was with Derek's black sweater pulled on over her head, her blue jeans not helping the situation any. Although her hair always looked nice straight, it was not anywhere near beautiful enough for a wedding as elegant as this one. It fell against her shoulders and down her back helplessly, and she knew that there was nothing she could do to make herself blend in any further. She knew that she must look so out of place right about now, but at the moment, she didn't care.

Her mother's eyes widened as she let go of her husband's arm, darting towards Casey instantly. Casey froze, worried that her mother was going to start questioning her about why she was such a state, where all the stories in the news had been coming from, why Casey hadn't come to see her in well over a month... the list was endless. Casey hadn't spoken to her mother in about five weeks, and really, there was no good reasoning behind it, except for the fact that she had been so busy with her own life, and with trying to work out where Derek had fit into this new definition of life, one she had never experienced before. She knew that this was no excuse for not returning her mother's phone calls, but nonetheless, it was the truth.

She waited nervously as her mother closed in on her, and her eyes grew fearful as Nora held out her arms, and...

Hugged her? Casey felt her stiff body being embraced by her mother's loving hold, and as she felt herself being pulled closer to Nora, she managed to relax her body a little bit, allowing herself to relax into the hug, finding comfort in the fact that someone still cared about her, someone was still on her side. At least she wasn't completely alone in this hellhole of a wedding. If the crowds turned on their favourite little backstabber, she'd have someone to come to her rescue, right?

"Oh, Casey!" her mother sighed, sounding overly emotional and relieved as she smoothed her daughter's hair down, obviously thrilled to see her. "I can't believe what they've been saying about you. I want you to know that George and I have never believed a word that those wretched papers have said about you. We know you better than that, and..."

Her mother pulled back, her eyes filled with tears as she held Casey at an arm's length, her gaze suddenly accusatory.

"Is that why you haven't been returning my phone calls?" she asked, clearly on the edge of hysteria. Casey was shaking her head desperately, her eyes wide as she struggled for someway to answer the bewildered woman. "We're not ashamed of you, Case, if that was what you were thinking, and we-"

"Mom!" Casey finally managed to get out, clamping a hand down on her mother's wrist gently, pulling her hand away from her shoulder. Nora fell silent, her mouth falling shut as her face settled into a look of pure confusion. Casey managed to laugh gently at the obvious confusion in her mother's eyes, and she shook her head, a very small smile playing on her lips.

"I'm not avoiding you," she assured her, trying her best to sound convincing. "I've just been really busy, and I'm sorry I've been freezing you out lately, but..."

"Oh it doesn't matter," Nora said happily, choking over happy tears as she pulled her daughter into her arms again, hugging her tightly. "I'm just happy to see you."

Casey hesitated, before laughing, placing a hand on her mother's back as she closed her eyes, happy to be in the arms of someone who actually wanted her there. She wasn't used to that feeling, this month. The only two people that had been making her happy had been Derek and Justin, and right now, she didn't have either of those people at her side.

Her eyes flew open as she remembered her reasoning behind coming here. She had come here to find Justin, but in the pure confusion of realizing that the wedding hadn't even started, she had lost track of her motives. She had glanced around the pews casually, but she hadn't really noticed whether or not the sandy haired little boy had been sitting down with anyone.

She pulled away from Nora, her eyes wide with panic as she gripped her mother's arm, shaking her head.

"Does Derek have Justin?" she questioned, her voice shaking with hope as George fell into place next to Nora, his arm wrapping politely around her waist as he frowned, watching Casey with extreme apprehension. Casey looked back and forth beteween her mother, and her stepfather, searching desperately for the reaction that she wanted, no _needed_ to get from them.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw that they were both shaking their heads, their eyes filled with obvious confusion as they gave her the answer she had been dreading, the answer that told her she had just wasted a good half an hour of her time. Running to the church, arguing with the bodygaurd, breaking her hand, sneaking into the basement... it had all been for nothing. Justin wasn't even in here to begin with. She suddenly hated herself for wasting so much time on something that had made no difference- on something that hadn't done her son any good.

She whirled around, her eyes scanning the crowds frantically as she searched for the only other person who could possibly help her, right now. She wasn't sure why the wedding hadn't started yet, but if she had no chances of interrupting anyone's wedding, then she could at least let Derek know that their son was missing. It would possibly ruin any chances of this wedding happening today, because she knew he would abandon the wedding in a heartbeat to go look for his son, but she didn't see it as such a big loss. Maybe it was selfish to be happy about cancelling the wedding, but hey, Derek had to know, right?

But the more she scanned the crowds, the quicker she realized that she wasn't finding Derek, because he wasn't there. She could normally pick his messy brown hair out of any crowd. His soft and distinguished face always seemed to stand out to her more than anyone else in a room, but right now, all of the faces were blending together, morphing themselves into one huge blanket of discomfort, of not knowing more than ten or twelve people in a huge crowd like this. She wondered where most of Derek's friends were, since she knew they'd been planning on attending, but those questions flew from her mind as she realized who else was missing from the room right now, someone who would've had something to say to her the second she'd entered the room, dressed completely out of attire, and completely uninvited.

"Mom," she said fearfully, directing her words towards the woman behind her as she glanced around the room frantically, searching. Panic rose in her throat as she realized that the object of her search was nowhere to be seen, that she was seemingly invisible to Casey's eyes.

"Mom, where's-"

She was cut off when someone grabbed her broken hand roughly, twisting her around violently to face them. Casey couldn't prevent the cry of pain that she let out when she felt the bone that she knew was already broken shatter even further, or at least, it felt that way. The pain throbbed through her hand, and she had to bite her lip hard in order to let out some very harsh language within a house of God. She didn't want to curse in a church, she really didn't.

But apparantly, Vanessa had no problem with it. Her eyes were flashing with hatred, and her face was blood red as she folded her arms across her chest, making no notice of the fact that Casey had just let out the most excruciating cry of pain ever, though no one seemed to have really noticed, over all of the chatter.

Vanessa was already dressed in her bridal gown, and to say that she looked beautiful would be an understatement. With looks this stunning, Casey had to wonder why Derek would ever choose her over Vanessa at all. She felt guilty immediately, and dubbed Derek the appropriate credit he deserved, for not being a shallow idiot like such a large portion of the male population, these days.

"Where the hell is he?" Vanessa hissed, her voice low as she glared at her long-time enemy, eyes ready to kill. Casey opened her mouth to speak, but no answers came to mind, perhaps because she didn't fully understand the question. She wasn't sure how to respond to that, something that Vanessa was obviously infuriated with, considering she was quick to jump to the defense, and continue with her assault towards Casey. She shoved her shoulder hard, causing Casey to stumble backwards. Edwin, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, was quick to catch her, his arms falling easily around her waist as she fell backwards against his chest, a tiny gasp escaping her lips.

She looked up to see her younger stepbrother looking down at her with furrowed eyebrows, his eyes darkening as he straightened her upright again, careful to make sure she had her balance. His messy black hair fell in front of his eyes dangerously as he tried to control his anger, and he placed one arm around her shoulders as he glared at Vanessa, his eyes cold and emotionless.

"Don't touch my sister," he muttered angrily, shaking his head at her. Casey liked to think that Vanessa shrunk back a little with fear then, though she could not be sure. She snorted, folding her arms as she looked away, trying to act unphased, but Casey knew that Edwin had to seem just a little bit threatening to her. He was two years younger than Vanessa, but at twenty two, he stood at an alarmingly frightening height of six feet, much taller than Vanessa. Casey was immediately grateful for the growth spurt that he'd acquired back in his senior year, and she patted his arm, pushing herself away from her stepbrother shakily.

"Thanks, lil bro," she whispered affectionately, her smile soft as she kept her voice to a tone that only he could hear. "I think I can handle Satan from here, though."

Edwin hesitated, his eyes still dark and protective, before he nodded, taking a step back from her, though making sure he was in a fair distance to step back in, if necessary. He placed one hand on Casey's shoulder, as though he were trying to keep her from lunging forwards and attacking Vanessa, however tempting the possibility may seem. His eyes were on Vanessa as he shook his head, shrugging his shoulders.

"I just don't think my brother would be very happy to hear that you've been pushing Casey around," he said threateningly, shaking his head. A knowing gleam came into his eyes, and his voice was taunting as he smirked, raising an eyebrow at her as he spoke. "He loves her, you know."

It had struck deep, Casey knew. If Vanessa had a weakness, Casey was pretty sure that Edwin had just exposed it, because for one brief moment, so quick that- if she had blinked, she would've missed it- she saw Vanessa cringe, and she saw the pain flicker through the woman's eyes. If it were anyone but Vanessa, Casey might feel sorry for her; how horrible it must be, to have someone make such a casual comment- to tell you that the man you were marrying was in love with someone else. Casey knew that the words had hurt Vanessa, and in one instant, she caught onto something that she hadn't realized before.

Vanessa _knew_ that Derek was in love with Casey. Maybe he had never admitted it to her before, and maybe it wasn't something she had ever shared with anyone before, but by the insecurity that had flickered through her eyes at that moment, Casey had gained insight to her mind, and to her knowledge. And there was no denying that Vanessa knew what was going on. She knew that the feelings her fiance held for his ex-girlfriend were more than just a friendly affection. She knew that, when he smiled at her, there was more meaning in the emotion of it than there ever should be, between two good friends.

And, she knew that there was a part of Derek- however dominant that part might be- that had never let go of Casey. She knew that he loved her, and because of that, Edwin's words probably hurt a whole lot more than they would've, if she had not been aware of Derek's feelings at all. Casey had a feeling that, if there had been any doubt in Vanessa's mind before, Edwin had just cleared it up for her, by showing her that other people could recognize the same thing that she had obviously caught onto.

Derek was in love with Casey.

Her one moment of human emotion had cost her, and she quickly tried to cover her tracks with the usual cold and indifferent stare, the one that Casey had come to regard as her signature look. She composed herself quite quickly, but it didn't have the same effect, and she definitely wasn't fooling anyone, especially not Casey. They had sensed her one moment of weakness, though she went on as though there had been nothing to notice in the first place.

"Whatever," she snapped at Edwin, before turning her gaze back to Casey, her eyes narrowing again. "Tell me where he is right now."

"Who?" Casey asked, feeling frustrated now, as she settled back into the conversation they'd had only moments before. "Do you mean Derek?"

Vanessa rolled her eyes, her eyebrows raised impatiently as she nodded her head, looking as though she thought Casey was the most annoying creature to ever walk the earth.

"Yes, of course I meant Derek," she said, sounding as though she were explaining the concept of the alphabet to a small child. "He called me at three and said that he was running late, but that he would be here by three fifteen, no later. He hasn't shown up yet, and to say that I'm losing my patience would be an understatement. I swear to God, Casey McDonald. If you manipulated my fiance into leaving me on the day of the wedding, you will live to regret it for the rest of your natural born-"

The rest of her sentence was cut off unexpectedly when Casey pulled away from Edwin entirely, his hand falling to his side again as she took off running towards the front entrance of the church. Something that Vanessa had just said had clicked into place for her. She had said that Derek had called her at three, to tell her that he was running late. Hadn't it been three o'clock when the children's centre had first realized that Justin was missing? Casey didn't understand why Derek would take Justin, and run off, but it was too much of a coincidence to let go of. The only logic that she could place behind her theory was that maybe Derek had wanted her to follow him, so that she couldn't avoid him anymore... but still, going against a court order, to get her back? She was pretty sure that he wouldn't have kidnapped their son, to get her back.

Then again, this was Derek.

She burst through the front doors of the church, the warm air hitting her suddenly as she rushed out onto the steps, pausing on the top one to glance down at the roadway, a good twenty feet away from her. She tried desperately to remember which direction she'd come from, but to be honest, she couldn't even remember running here at all. She needed to get back to her car, and get over to Derek's apartment as fast as possible. She doubted that he'd be there, and she was sure that someone would've already checked to see if he was still there, knowing Vanessa and her crazy bodygaurds, but it was worth a shot.

She was just deciding to run in a random direction, and hope she found her car again, when she felt a hand clamp down on wrist, for what was the third time that day. She was getting a bit sick of this whole grabbing thing, but something shut her up this time. She was grateful for the fact that this person hadn't grabbed onto her injured hand, at the very least. Something felt different this time, anyway. The hand that was closed over her wrist felt warm and comforting, as though this person's hold was safer than Vanessa's or the bodygaurd's, not like those situations were hard to beat, in terms of safety. But the affected arm was tingling with warmth, and she drew in a sharp breath as she heard the amused chuckle behind her, the laughter that sounded so soft... almost musical.

"Took you long enough," she heard his soft voice speak up behind her, sounding relieved. "I was beginning to give up on you, you know."

Her breathing hitched in her throat, and her entire body froze as she told herself twenty times straight in her head that she was wrong, that the voice behind her wasn't who she wanted it to be. She had let her hopes up too many times today, and she was pretty sure that one more letdown like that would just ruin her completely. She shouldn't allow herself to get this hopeful again...

But nobody else's touch made her feel as safe as this.

So she drew in a deep breath, turning her head slowly as she prepared to meet an unfamiliar face gazing down at her. Her entire body was tense as she glanced over her shoulder, allowing her eyes to settle on the face in front of her.

And she let her body relax then, as she caught sight of the soft brown eyes that she loved so much, staring down into her own with a look of pure relief, and slight amusement. She nearly fainted on the spot when she saw the look of pure affection that he was fixing her with. He was giving her a cute little half smile as he trailed his hand further up her arm, gripping her upper arm gently within his grasp. She felt her skin warm up beneath his touch, and her heart started racing as the wind blew through his hair, blowing it gently across his eyes, directing a wave of his scent towards her senses, the same scent as the sweater she was currently enveloped in.

He glanced down at the sweater she had thrown on back in the apartment, and he chuckled again, his fingers running over the soft material of the sweater that covered her body from the slight breeze. His eyes held hers as he smirked, winking at her.

"I always knew you looked sexy in my clothes."

She could only swallow hard, her eyes fixed upon the man standing in front of her, her heart refusing to behave properly. It was beating at irregular intervals, and she wanted to scream at it for behaving so crudely; she was sure he could hear her heart beating, by now. She knew he would laugh at her, for being so easily manipulated by his touch.

Shaking her head, she only managed to get one word out, ashamed of how weak her voice sounded.

"Derek..."

* * *

**So... yeah. Review, please, and I will get to the next chapter quicker. And I know you're all thinking that Derek has Justin, because some of you have asked me about it. I know it's highly suspicious that he went missing the same time as Derek was last talking to Vanessa, but no, Derek does not have Justin. Derek is completely unaware of their son's disappearance. **


	26. Finding Justin

**Sorry for how long this is taking, but I'm right in the middle of my finals. I only have two left, so after next Tuesday, things will be back on track again! Thanks. Sorry, once again. Stress always gives me writers block! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Finding Justin**

His gaze didn't falter from it's calm and collective state once as he smirked at her, trying his best to look unphased by her sudden arrival. She knew that he didn't want to appear too over-excited to see her, but it didn't matter what sort of mask he put on, to hide his feelings. She could see right through his facade, and she knew that he was absolutely thrilled, right now. The little gleam in his eyes suggested that he was more excited than he was letting on, and that he was really happy that she had shown up.

Even further past the excitement, she easily spotted the relief, and she knew that he must have really been losing hope, for him to look this relieved. Derek was usually so sure of himself, and it was a rare occasion when he actually had to feel relieved. Usually, he didn't let his doubts down low enough for relief to even factor into the equation. But the emotion was there in his eyes, and she couldn't deny that she was feeling undeniable guilt flickering through her, right about now, for two reasons. The first reason was obvioius; she had worried him. She had allowed him to get his hopes up, though she had warned him against it, and he had so nearly been disappointed. But even further into her guilt was a deeper reasoning, one that she felt more sorry for than anything else.

She wasn't even here for Derek. Yes, she loved him more than she had ever planned on allowing herself to love someone, and yes, she had originally planned to show up at the church and relieve herself of all dignity, by taking the stupid idiot back into her life. She couldn't deny that, if things had gone differently, and if this whole mess with her son hadn't come up at the last minute, she would've been at the church much sooner, and she would've taken him back. Without any other conflicts standing in her way, she would've been at this church nearly an hour ago, and she was willing to be that her reunion with Derek would've been much sappier, and much more romantic than it was bound to be, right now. True, she wanted nothing more than to fall against his chest and apologize again and again for pushing him out of her life, like she'd done. She wanted to tell him how much he meant to her, and she wanted to agree to be with him, as long as he wanted it too. There was so much she had to say to him, but not nearly enough time to say any of it right now, under the present circumstances. She would have to find Justin, before anything could happen between her and Derek. Her son was the most important thing, and he came before any romance, no matter how strongly she felt for Derek.

She would've gone on to tell him this, but the moment she looked back into his eyes, she noticed something more, something than only someone this connected to him would've been able to see. She knew that anyone else would look at Derek and see only the casual collectiveness on his face, maybe even the relief, if they looked hard enough. But Casey was seeing something so much deeper, so much more real than anything else she had ever seen in his eyes before, something she hoped she would never have to witness again.

She saw his fear. At first, the idea of Derek being scared didn't make any sense whatsoever to her; he was here with her, why on earth should he be scared, right now? It wasn't like she was all that terrifying, even if she had now punched Vanessa, and her bodygaurd, in the face, by now. She had never done anything that would give Derek a right to fear her, had she?

And that was when it occured to her, staring her right in the face. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid, as to miss this before.

Maybe Derek wasn't scared right now. There was definitely fear in his eyes, yes, but maybe the fear had been leftover from before she had appeared at his side. She could be completely wrong on the topic, and she knew that he may even deny it, if she were to ask him about it, but maybe he had been so afraid before because she hadn't been there, not because she was there now. It seemed so unlike Derek to allow something like this to affect him so much, but she knew that there was no denying the truth, and he would be a fool to try. She had scared him, by not showing up at the church, by confirming that she wasn't going to stop the marriage between him and Vanessa- that she was going to let him marry her. She could just imagine how he must have felt, sitting there and waiting for her, and never seeing her car turn into the parking lot. She must have given him the impression that they really were over, and that she wasn't going to keep fighting for him. She hadn't meant to give him that idea, even if she thought the wedding shouldn't be under her control anyways, but she did feel bad for frightening him.

Sensing his emotion, she straightened up, her eyes locking with his as she tried her best to find her voice again. It seemed to be hidden somewhere within her, too mixed up to even voice one straight opinion or idea. She wanted so badly to say something to him, to reassure him, to ask him why he wasn't on his way to Hawaii for his honeymoon by now, even to tell him that his son was missing. Most of all, she wanted to tell him that she still loved him, and that she had been an idiot to ever try and deny them of something that they both needed so badly.

But no words came to mind, and it was all she could do to stand there, her body stiff wtih shock as she gave up on speaking, knowing that it wasn't going to happen. Derek would find something to say, she was sure of it, for they couldn't stand there in silence forever. Though she was pretty sure she wouldn't have minded it, if she got to keep looking into those curious eyes of his. How did he always manage to find that perfect balance between cute, curious, and sexy, all at once? She wished that she knew the secret to how he balanced himself out so well, but she gave up on trying to figure it out as she heard his voice speak up, breaking the silence between them.

"I have to admit, I really thought you'd get here quicker than this," he said, sounding a bit disappointed. He grimaced as he continued; "I guess it's better late than never, though. I shouldn't complain. I just didn't think you'd leave things until this late in the game."

She began to regain some of her self-control, and she surprised herself when she started speaking; it hadn't even been a concious effort.

"I would've been here alot sooner, but..." she began, but trailed off, unsure of how to tell Derek that Justin was missing. She knew it would kill him, and at the same time, she knew that she had to get going, so that she could find him. She was torn between telling him, or just going off to find him on her own, but she was cut off when Derek shook his head, the hand on her arm sliding down to rest gently on her waist. Her breath caught in her throat, but she managed to fight back the blush growing in her cheeks, in favour of her own dignity.

"You don't have to explain," he said, sighing as embarassment flickered across his own face. "I'll admit, I didn't make my choice until the last minute either. This whole 'blow off the wedding' thing was still uncertain in my head until some point this afternoon. It was alot harder than it seemed, being some sort of runaway."

All thoughts of Justin temporarily disapppeared as she froze, her eyes widening as she recognized what he had just said to her.

"Wait a second," she said, her voice surprised as she relaxed a bit, feeling more comfortable now that there was actual dialogue flowing between them. "You _blew off_ your own wedding?"

Derek's serious expression faltered as a grin formed on his lips, and he chuckled, nodding his head as though he was torn between being proud of his sacrifice, or being ashamed of his actions. Casey wasn't even sure whether or not she should be proud of him for this, but when she spoke, she realized that her words sounded more relieved than anything else, and she supposed that, despite her strong morals, she was glad that he hadn't gone through with the wedding. Even though she felt like nobody deserved to be stood up on their own wedding day, she felt that Vanessa might have deserved it. She was, after all, the pure epitome of all that was evil. She had seen to it that Casey's life was miserable; why shouldn't she suffer a bit of misery herself? If she hadn't of tried so hard to be a bitch, Derek might've picked her.

Okay, so he wouldn't have. Casey and Derek had been doomed to their own destiny from the very beginning, and whether or not they had met up with each other that day in the coffee shop, their love for each other was bound to resurface, at some point in time. It was a lucky thing, that they had managed to find each other again before he had committed himself to Vanessa, but she had a feeling that it wouldn't have mattered if he was married or not, when she found him. They couldn't fight their attraction for each other, even if they wanted to. They didn't really have a choice, in the matter. Their love was too real to ignore, by now.

"I can't believe you blew off your wedding," she breathed out, still amazed. "I mean, you were the one who called me and told me you were at the church, about an hour and a half ago."

Realization flickered across his face, and he raised an eyebrow at her, amused.

"So you _were_ ignoring my calls," he said, more of a statement, than anything else. She blushed, and he chuckled, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it. I sorta guessed, before I even made that call, that you wouldn't answer, but I figured you'd hear the message anyway." There was a pause, before he cracked a tiny smile, winking at her. "I know how stubborn you can be, sometimes."

She rolled her eyes, pulling her arm away from his grip, and folding both of her arms across her chest. He hesitated, as though debating whether or not it would be appropriate to touch her again, but when he saw the impatient look in her eyes, he sighed, shaking his head and running a tired hand through his hair. She was sure that he wanted to say something more to her on that topic, and she knew that she should probably defend her reasoning behind ignoring his phone calls, but she almost felt as though it was self-explanatory; why _would _she have answered his calls? They had been on rough grounds, and they had both known that answering the phone would've broken her resolve altogether- probably the reason he had called her in the first place.

"You told me you were at the church," she said again, shaking her head as she narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "In that message, you said you were... I don't... you're going to have to explain this to me."

A mischevious little smirk crept onto his face, and she could sense his slight guilt radiating off of him, as he shrugged his shoulders. She almost wanted to hit him for being so annoyingly taunting with her, and dragging out his answers, but the cute look on his face was enough to keep her mouth closed, and she waited anxiously for a response as he kept his tone smooth, not missing a beat.

"I _was_ at the church," he offered, shrugging again as he allowed his shoulders to relax a little. "I wasn't lying when I said that."

She was obviously confused, so he laughed, clearly amused by her lack of knowledge.

"I never said I was _in _the church, did I?" he questioned, and she was silent for a moment, before her eyes widened, and she gasped, smacking his shoulder. He laughed happily as he realized that she had caught onto what he was trying to tell her, and she shook her head, her eyebrows furrowed as she folded her arms across her chest, clearly not amused.

"Not funny!" she scolded, though she had to admit that she was a bit relieved. "I can't believe you tricked me."

"Can't you?" he questioned, raising an eybrow with interest. "You honestly didn't think I was capable of trickery and deceit? Really, Casey, when have I ever come off as innocent and uncorrupted? I'm probably the most dishonest person in your life, aside from Vanessa."

She frowned, knowing that he was right, on that one. She should've known that Derek would've had something up his sleeve, when he told her to come to the church. Of course, there had really been no reason to be suspicious. Thinking back to the message that he had left for her, she couldn't really think of anything that would've suggested that he was hiding something from her. His tone had remained pretty much neutral and steady throughout the whole thing, hadn't it? He had seemed upset, yes, and he had definitely seemed distracted, like there had been something on his mind. She had attributed this to the fact that he was so anxious to see whether or not she would turn up, and that he was merely heartbroken, wondering who he would be holding in his arms that night- Vanessa, or Casey. She knew, of course, which woman's company he would prefer, but she hadn't really thought that he had been willing to call off the wedding on his own terms. Had he given up the wedding to show her how much he was willing to sacrifice to be with her, or was there another reason behing calling off the wedding? If so, what was it?

Looking up at him, she shook her head, her eyebrows furrowed together with confusion as she shrugged her shoulders, clearly clueless.

"I don't get it," she admitted, watching as he gave a roll of the eyes, obviously finding her confusion amusing. She would've scolded him for such an action, but she knew that now wasn't the time for jokes, or for fooling around. She wasn't up for playing any of his mind games; not today, not when there was so much to figure out in such a short period of time.

"What don't you get, Casey?" he questioned, shrugging his shoulders as he folded his arms across his chest. He shook his head, and she could tell that he was eager to get everything out there, and that he didn't like this whole 'explaining' thing. She knew that he had overexerted his emotional side to a huge extent, over the past few days, and she also knew that this was something that bugged him. Derek was never one to let his emotions show too strongly, especially in the form of words, but if the situation called for it, he could prove himself to be quite the Romeo wannabe. Sure, he always had a cute little pout on his face when he knew he was getting too mushy, and yes, he often referred to his moments of weakness as 'lapses in emotional judgement', but she knew that a small part of him actually liked being cute with her, as long as she was being cute back. She figured that he was only embarassed over their conversation from a few days before because she had rejected him, not because of his choice of words.

And right now, she had a feeling that he was filtering his words, making sure that he wasn't coming off as too weak. She knew that he wasn't up to being faced with rejection, for the second time that week. And maybe that was why he was being so low key with her; he was scared of getting rejected by her again.

"I've spent the past few days rambling on about how love means being willing to sacrifice everything to be with the one person you really love, and I've been making you out to be the bad guy in all of this," he said, taking a deep breath as he continued with his confession. "I've sort of taken everything I was scared of doing, and shoved it all on you. I put the entire decision of our relationship on your shoulders, because I was scared to make the move myself."

She was watching him anxiously now, hanging onto his every word with patiently held breath. She couldn't believe this; it was as though he could read her mind. Every single reservation that had been flickering through her concious over the past few days seemed to be settling away, as Derek finally took responsibility for his own selfish mistakes and choices. It was _his _wedding to call off, just as it was_ his _choice who he chose to spend the rest of his life with. Sure, Casey could reject him, even if he were to call off the wedding, but in the end, it would've been him who had made the ultimate sacrifice for her. It would have been him who had given up the simple life, the easy way out, just so that he could be with her. It would never have mattered what Casey's final choice was, because she would've known that he stuck by his own ideas, and that he had followed through on the most important promise of all; that he was willing to sacrifice his bond with Vanessa, for the stronger one he shared with Casey.

"I should never have put the weight of this decision on your shoulders," he went on, shaking his head. "Calling off the wedding was _my_ choice, and it always was. I should never have been waiting for a safety net to fal back on; I should've known that... if I really loved you, I'd call all of this off, regardless of whatever you decided. You know me, I'm not one to admit I'm wrong very easily..."

She rolled her eyes, folding her arms across her chest as she turned her head away, muttering something under her breath. The words fell deaf upon his ears, and he didn't even bother to question what rude remark she had just muttered under her breath; it didn't matter. Her opinion of his ego was probably right, regardless of what he felt. He knew it was best to just go on, and act like he hadn't even witnessed her reaction.

Sighing, he took a step towards her, his sandy brown hair blowing back off of his forehead. Her body tensed, and she felt her breath catch in her throat as he reached out, unfolding her arms so that he could hold her wrists gently. He held them gently in front of them, by their sides, and he locked his gaze, with hers, apparantly unaware of the fact that he had her completely mind-boggled. Honestly, how did he expect her to think when he was touching her? Didn't he know that his touch warped all of her thoughts, distorted them until she felt nothing but attraction and dedication to the man standing in front of her? Didn't he know that his touch was the most powerful weapon he possessed? God, this man would be the death of her.

"Like I said, usually, I'm never wrong, and I'm sure we both know that," he said, and she would've rolled her eyes again, if his voice wasn't so soft, this time. The gentle look in his eyes made it impossible to be angry with him. He was just so handsome, so attractive... how could anyone look at this man and be angry with him?

But, however tempted she was by the gaze he was giving her, she still managed to find her voice. She was temporarily annoyed when her voice came out weak and shaky, but she was too distracted by her current situation to bother being ashamed of it.

"You were wrong about this," she murmered, shaking her head defiantly. "It was never up to me to cancel your wedding, Derek. It was the best I could do to show up here today, and you're lucky I even did that. I only changed my mind because I realized that... well, yeah... you're a selfish idiot, not to mention big-headed, arrogant, annoying-"

"Are you going somewhere with this?" he questioned, his eyebrows furrowed together as his grip on her wrists tightened, and he frowned, shaking his head. "Because I've got to tell you, this whole 'bash Derek' campaign is really making me wonder whether you want to be with me at all."

Panic suddenly crossed his features, and she could detect the sudden fear in his eyes as his hold around her wrists tightened, and he cringed, looking down into her eyes. She was taken aback by the look of absolute desperation in his eyes, but she found that she couldn't look away, as he spoke up, his voice desperate for reassurance.

"You _do_ want to be with me, right?"

For the first time since the conversation had started, she could detect fear in his voice. It wavered slightly on the lingering question, as he waited, his eyes flickering over every inch of her face, as though trying to detect any hint of dishonesty or pity. She knew how badly he needed to be assured that he had made the right choice in leaving Vanessa, and that he wasn't going to be single at the end of the day. It was a shallow hope, she could admit that. She felt a little disappointed, wondering if all he wanted was _someone_, at the end of the day, but one look into his eyes told her that she was wrong. He didn't just want _someone_ at the end of the day. It wasn't just anyone that he wanted to hold in his arms, it was her. It was only her, and as long as she knew that, she could answer his question with full confidence.

Sighing, she forced a tiny smile onto her lips, nodding her head in agreement to his statement. She couldn't deny what she felt for him, that much she knew for sure.

"Would I be here, if I didn't want to be with you?" she questioned, knowing full well that Derek was not the reason she was here, but yet reminding herself that she had been going to the church before the children's centre had called. She would've shown up, regardless of whatever had happened with Justin. Either path would've brought her to the church, and because of that, she knew that she could easily tell him she had been here for him all along. For now, anyway. She was well aware that she was going to have to tell him about Justin, in a minute or two. She couldn't hide that from him, but it was definitely taking her a moment or two to gather up her courage.

He still looked completely confused, but the fear in his eyes was gone, now that she had confirmed her need to be with him, as well. She gently pulled her wrists from his grasp, and shook her head, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. His body froze, and she saw him swallow hard, obviously just as manipulated by her touch as she was by his. She could've sworn that his cheeks turned slightly red as she pulled herself a bit closer to him, her chest touching his now. He cautiously placed a hand on either side of her waist, biting on his lower lip as she went on, her voice slightly more confident as she realized that he was just as nervous about this as she was.

"You may be selfish, not to mention all the other things I said... but if you're going to be selfish, you might as well be mine," she said, shrugging. "I don't think I've got enough control in me to watch you marry that horrible woman. Honestly, the woman's a descendant of Satan, Derek. What were you thinking?"

He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders as his body relaxed a little, and he tried to come off as the one in control, the one who had a complete hold of himself, even though they both knew that this was a lie.

"She was nice... at one point," he admitted, shrugging. His gaze connected with hers again, and his lips were set in a straight line as he continued, his voice quiter this time. "Maybe I was just trying to make myself happy with whoever I could find, I dunno. But I know now that she can't keep me happy, not when I can have you."

A tiny smile graced her lips, and she found herself snuggling even further against his chest, enjoying the warmth of his black jacket. She rested her head against his shoulder, a content sigh escaping past her lips as she stared off in the general direction of the street, a good twenty feet ahead of them. Nobody seemed to notice the reunion of the two of them on the stairs, probably due to the fact that the media were still out back looking for Casey.

"Selfish," she reminded him, in a gentle murmer, and he merely laughed as he rested his chin on the top of her head, shrugging his shoulders. She closed her eyes, her hands trailing down from his neck, to his chest, so that they were pressed between them. She bit her lip, trying to gather up the courage to say something, but no words came to mind. She had nothing to say, though she knew that there was so much that needed to be sorted out, at one point or another. They were far from okay, though she knew it would work itself out eventually.

There was only one thing important enough to discuss right now, and she was ashamed of herself for letting it go this long. She supposed her forgetfulness had been due, in part, to her shock to see Derek standing outside the church, dressed in a black jacket and jeans, as opposed to his suit. Naturally, she had been confused enough to stop and question why he wasn't inside getting married, and why he had called off the wedding. And while she still didn't have any straight answers, she knew that this particular topic couldn't be avoided any longer. Anxious or not, she was going to have to tell Derek that their son was missing. She knew he wouldn't take it well, which was another reason for putting it off, but thoughts of horrible things happening to Justin kept flickering through her mind, and she knew that she couldn't waste another moment of her time standing here on these steps, despite how good it felt to be in Derek's arms.

There would be plenty of time for that later, when Justin was safe and sound at home, where he belonged.

She pulled back, her eyes nervous as she bit her lip, connecting her gaze with his. He looked so happy right now, maybe because they had so obviously made so much progress, maybe because he was getting his way, as usual; she really didn't care which it was. She could see the look of pure bliss in his eyes as he held her, and she felt terrible for having to destroy that for him. The tiny smile on his lips was so real, the look of happiness in his eyes so pure... she felt horrible for having to take all of that away from him.

But it had to be done; Justin was the most important thing in either of their lives, and she knew that Derek needed to know this just as much as she did.

Derek, who apparantly hadn't noticed her anxiety, merely smiled down at her, bringing one hand up to her face. He brushed his hand gently across the back of her cheek, a tiny note of laughter escaping him as he shook his head, an amazed look in his eyes.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" he questioned, his voice gentle as he shook his head in awe. "Almost up to the same level as me, by now."

He winked, obviously trying to show her that he was joking around, but she knew that she had to end this little reunion before she allowed herself to get involved in too much talking, or arguing. They had to find Justin.

She kept his name flickering through her mind, as not to get distracted, and she pulled out of his arms completely, running her good hand through her hair as she took a step backwards, swallowing hard. Her eyes darted down to the floor as she gathered up her courage, and she saw the look of panic flicker through Derek's eyes as he shook his head, obviously thinking he had done something wrong, something to get her angry with him.

"I was only kidding, you know that, don't you?" he questioned, but she looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears as she fought back the lump in her throat. Thoughts of Justin were racing through her mind now; what if he walked out into traffic, unknowingly? What if he decided to wander into the woods, play by a body of water... so many dangerous thoughts were floating through her mind, and she found her inner self screaming for her mind to shut up. She didn't want to think about those things happening to her little boy; if any harm came to Justin, she could never live with herself. He was so tiny, so small... so easily breakable, and he couldn't even yell out for help, if need be. He couldn't explain to any strangers that he was lost, that he shouldn't be on his own. He needed someone with him, and right now, he had no one.

"Casey?" Derek questioned, his gaze turning more serious as he noticed the few tears that had escaped from her eyes, and were flowing carelessly down her cheeks. His face turned immediately into its best protective front, and he took a step forwards, his hands reaching down to wrap around hers tightly. The action was innocent enough, she supposed, and he had no way of knowing that this would cause her so much pain; she hadn't told him what she'd done.

But the pain was nearly excruciating as his grip around her hands tightened, and she gave a tiny cry of pain, hauling back violently. She stumbled, and as she felt herself falling backwards, Derek acted instinctively, reaching out to wrap an arm around her waist. He pulled her back up to him, her body resting parrallel to his waist, and he gazed down at her with a look that was mixed with hurt, confusion, and concern. She knew that he was probably completely freaked out by her behaviour, but she couldn't bring herself to care as she squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back the rest of the tears that were threatening to spill out, a mixture of emotion over the pain that was now shooting through her broken hand, and her worries over her son.

"What did I do, Casey?" he asked, but she merely shook her head, pulling her hand behind her back. She didn't want him to notice the injury; he'd insist on taking her to the hospital, if he did, and that was the last thing she wanted. She could take care of herself later. Who cared about a broken hand when Justin was missing? She had to get him back, before she worried about her own petty little problems. And, as much as Derek would want to find Justin too, it would be nearly impossible to persuade him out of taking her to get x-rays done. That was the last thing she needed, right now.

But he was smarter than she gave him credit for. Upon seeing that she was hiding her hand behind her back, he sighed, reaching behind her more gently this time, and gripping her wrist. Against her wishes, he held her hand out in front of the two of them, and panic flickered across his features as he took in the sight of her swollen hand, which was an interesting variety of colours, by now. She cringed as he looked up at her, his gaze shocked and concerned.

"Jesus, Casey," he muttered, shaking his head as he looked back down at her hand, running his fingertips over the top of it gently. She tensed slightly, feeling a tingle shooting through her hand that had nothing to do with the injury. Whether he noticed this or not, she didn't know, but nonetheless, he gripped her wrist gently again, shaking his head at her. His eyes were fixed on the injury as he turned her hand over once or twice, examining the damage.

"What did you do?" he asked, his voice a mere whisper as his eyebrows furrowed together in concern. He continued to look over her hand as she shrugged, sniffing back a few tears, and wiping her tear-stained cheeks with the back of her free hand. Her voice was surprisingly steady as she spoke up, giving him the best answer she could think of.

"I broke it," she murmered, and she was surprised when he laughed, nodding his head in agreement as he raised an eyebrow at the injury, amused.

"Yes, I can see that," he mused, his voice quiet with observation. "I'd prefer a more detailed explanation, though. You know, a when and how would be nice, if you can give me that much."

She rolled her eyes at his commentary, but knew that he wouldn't shut up until she told him exactly what had happened. She didn't have time for a 'detailed explanation', as he'd so kindly put it, but she could give him a quick summary, just so he'd shut up and concentrate on the same thing she was trying to concentrate on- getting Justin back.

"Fifteen minutes ago," she said quickly , shrugging her shoulders as he looked up, one eyebrow raised. "I punched Vanessa's bodygaurd in the face. Now, can you shut up and listen to me for a second?"

She was praying that he would let her speak, but within a moment of the words leaving her mouth, his eyes had widened, and he was staring at her with a mixture of appreciation, awe, and horror. She felt herself grow irritated with him; was he ever going to stop it with the damn questions and observations, long enough for her to explain what was happening? God, it was as though he was trying to get to her, on purpose. Couldn't he shut up for two and a half seconds, just long enough for her to tell him about Justin? The man was impossible, she just knew it.

"Wait a second," he said, his voice both impressed and shocked at the same time. "You punched _Riley_ in the face? Riley as in... big, strong, giant, Riley?"

Her eyebrows pulled together in confusion, and she shrugged one shoulder, nodding her head absent-mindedly, as though it were no big deal.

"If that's his name, then sure, I punched Riley in the face," she confirmed, and his eyes were wide as he laughed, a look of pure amusement on his face. She could tell that he was impressed with her actions, even if she had managed to break her hand in the process. A part of her was annoyed with him for being so interrupting, and yet another part of her was just relieved that he wasn't dragging her off to the nearest hospital, to get her hand checked out. She was sure that this was coming though, so she forced herself to speak before he could fit another word in.

"Derek, look, I know that right now isn't the ideal time for this, but we have to go find-"

"Casey!"

Casey allowed her sentence to trail off into a groan of frustration as she tilted her head back, closing her eyes. She was never going to get a full sentence out, she just knew it. It was as though her fate was telling her that Derek wasn't supposed to know about Justin's disappearance, because everytime she tried to tell him, something got in the way. An interruption would always present itself, and this time, it came in the form of her entire family pouring out of the front doors of the church, one after another. They looked sort of amusing, all dressed up like they were, and standing next to Derek and Casey, who were both wearing jeans... well, they looked pretty fancy. Add into the mix that their expressions were torn between concern for Justin, and shock at finding Derek here with her, and they looked downright amusing. She had to stifle a laugh just looking at the expression on her mother's face; it was too priceless.

"Derek, what're you-" George started, fixing his son with a confused look, but Nora cut him off by turning to Casey, deciding that the topic they had been on earlier was much more important than Derek's missed wedding. She must have rememebred the question Casey had asked her, about whether or not Justin had been with Derek. Evidently, she had given the matter some thought, during the ten minutes that Casey had been away from her, and she had obviously come to the conclusion that- if neither Derek or Casey had their son- then he was missing. Casey was almost relieved when her mother finally brought it up, getting everything out there in the open for Derek to see.

"Did you have any luck with finding Justin?" her mother asked, and as Derek's face paled, Casey turned away from him, her wrist falling from his grasp immediately. She tried to ignore the way his body tensed as she faced her mother, shaking her head desperately.

"No, I was just trying to tell Derek about what-"

"What do you _mean_ 'finding Justin'?" he cried, his voice filled with a dangerous sort of anger as he gripped Casey's arm, spinning her around to face him. He didn't do it purposely to hurt her, and she knew by the look of guilt that flickered through his eyes that he hadn't meant to grab her so tightly. But nonetheless, he didn't mention it as he locked his gaze with hers, his eyes scanning hers with an intense feeling of desperation. It was obvious that he was panicking, right now, and she could only shake her head at him as she swallowed hard, forcing her words out.

"Justin's missing, Derek," she murmered, the words sounding foreign even to her own ears. "The centre called me at around four fifty, and told me that they hadn't seen him since around three. They thought that one of us might have had him, so... I sort of came here, thinking maybe you had taken him. I know he was supposed to be a part of your wedding, and everything."

For one brief moment, Casey saw the look of pain that flickered through Derek's eyes, and it was enough to make her want to be sick. Derek had just caught onto the little bit of fact hidden in that statement; she wasn't here for him. She was here to try and find her son, to try and make sure that he was safe, above all else. And while Casey would've shown up to the church anyway, if this whole thing with Justin hadn't come up, Derek had no way of knowing that. From the look in his eyes now, he seemed to be acknowledging to himself that Casey had never been here for him.

And she knew that was killing him. But he was equally as dedicated to their son's well being as she was, and because of that, he managed to push aside his temporary pain, and focus on the bigger picture, here. She watched as he looked from Casey, to Nora, to George, who looked equally as confused as his son. It occured to Casey that Nora had really been the only one to catch onto the fact that Justin was missing, and as Derek turned his gaze back to her, she took a deep breath, knowing that she had the attention of her entire family.

"They don't know where he could be," she continued, her voice shaking slightly under the stress of her words. "I've checked the playgrounds, and most of the places he'd probably think to go first."

"The schoolyard?" Lizzie suggested, piping up from her spot behind her mother. Casey peered around Nora until she spotted her sister, who looked hopeful at the prospect of helping her sister locate her nephew. It killed her to do it, but Casey shook her head, giving a disappointed Lizzie a sad smile, as though trying to express her thanks for the suggestion.

"Already checked there, but thanks," she said, watching as everyone fell into a silent state of thought, struggling to think of another place where Justin could be. Casey too, fell silent as she tried to come up with places that she hadn't checked yet. Where would Justin have gone, aside from playgrounds? The outdoor swimming pool, maybe, but he would never have gotten that far. Besides, he wouldn't have gotten past the gate without a lifegaurd stopping him. They didn't let anyone under the age of twelve in unless they were accompanied by an adult, at the pool. Casey supposed that she could call them, just to see if they'd picked up any lost kids over the past few hours. After all, Justin wouldn't really be able to tell them a number to call. Hell, he couldn't even give them a name to go by. Depending on the lifegaurds on duty, they might recognize him, since Casey brought him to the pool alot in the summertime, but she hadn't been there yet this summer, so she really had no idea whether or not the usual staff worked there.

As though he was reading her thoughts, Edwin spoke up, his eyes fixed on Casey as he voiced her concerns.

"He might have gone to the pool," he said, his voice concerned. "You take him there alot, don't you?"

Casey nodded hopefully, biting her lip as she reached for the cellphone in her pocket, feeling grateful that she had the pool's number on speed-dial, from the summer before. It hadn't been uncommon for them to leave something behind, if Justin was in one of his moods, and calling the pool to ask them to check around for one of his belongings had become a common occurance. She had eventually programmed the number into her phone, for future reference, and she found herself to be grateful for that now.

"I was just thinking the same thing," she mentioned to him, flipping her phone open quickly. "I'll give them a call to see if they've seen him."

Before she could press a button, Derek's hand closed over her phone, and he had flipped it shut, slipping the device into his own pocket. This action was met with looks of confusion from the entire family, and he shook his head, his hand reaching down to find Casey's. It was a subconcious effort to slip her fingers through his on her good hand, and she felt slight relief flicker through her when Derek gave her hand a gentle squeeze, perhaps noticing how on edge she was.

She couldn't ignore the stares of her family, as their eyes all flickered down to the entwined hands of the pair. It was such a small gesture for Casey, one that she barely even thought about, but to them, this must be something new. The family, after all, had known nothing about the budding romantic relationship between the pair of them, over the past two months. George, of course, had a clue, since Derek had come to him long ago to discuss the matter, but even he hadn't been prepared to realize that the two of them had already admitted their feelings to each other. It was obvious that this gesture was a big deal for the family, and it occured to Casey that this was the first time their parents had seen the both of them together in seven years. It must be a pretty big shock, to see them getting along so well, but all thoughts of the family's reaction disappeared from her mind, when Derek spoke up.

"We'll call the pool in a few minutes," he explained, his voice rushed as he glanced around at all of them. "Look, the main thing here is that we find Justin as quickly as possible, right?"

He was met with six identical nods, ones that he hadn't even waited for. He knew what the reaction would be, for he went on, not even stopping to make sure everyone had agreed with him.

"I think the best way to go about this is to split up," he said, before pausing, thinking over something in his head. Nobody spoke as they waited for him to make the next call, and Casey found herself watching him as he furrowed his eyebrows together in thought. It was obvious that he was thinking hard for a solution to all of this. Casey knew that he was trying to figure out who would go where, and how many of them should split up. She wanted to help, but he had always been better with quick thinking, so she left it up to him, not wanting to interrupt his thought train. Sure enough, a moment later, he took a deep breath, looking around at each member of the family.

"Dad, you and Nora take Marti and cover the East end of the city," he said, as though he had this plan memorized. "You've got pictures of Justin in your wallet, I know that, so just... ask around, see if anyone has seen him. Check all the convenience stores, or anywhere you think he might've found appealing. You never know what could grab that kid's attention."

They nodded, but the action was unknown to Derek as he turned to his brother, not even waiting for anyone to say anything about the first point of his little plan. His eyes were just as serious as he glanced between Edwin, and Lizzie, thinking for only a moment before he spoke up, the words tumbling easily past his lips.

"Edwin, Liz, I want you guys to cover the West half of the city," he directed, nodding in the general direction of which he was speaking of. "Same thing applies. Anywhere you think he might have gone, cover it. I don't want anywhere left unchecked. Show his picture to anyone you see, ask if anyone's seen a little boy wandering around by himself. I think there's a children's library around there somewhere, so he might've gone in there, you never know. Split up, if you've got to. Do you guys understand that?"

Both Edwin and Lizzie nodded quickly, not wanting to question Derek's method. It was obvious that he was the one in control here, and Casey had to wonder how he sounded so calm, when he gave everyone directions like this. It had taken her long enough to even tell him that Justin was missing, let alone spit out plans that sounded alot more official than she could've ever come up with.

She expected that he was finished, but before he moved on, his eyes narrowed on Edwin, and he shook his head at his brother, a knowing look in his eyes.

"And for God's sakes, Edwin," he said, his voice knowing, and yet slightly amused. "Don't get distracted by the dog park. Everytime we go by there, it takes me an hour to haul you away from that stupid pug that's always playing there."

Edwin rolled his eyes, but the brothers shared a tiny grin, even if it was forced. Casey found her hold around Derek's hand tensing nervously. Despite the boy's ability to force out some much-needed laughter, she found that she couldn't even breathe properly, let alone find something funny enough to laugh at. She was scared out of her mind, and she hadn't realized until now that her entire body was trembling with anxiety, and fear. Derek must have noticed this, because when he turned to her, the only person that he had not given instruction to, his eyes softened, and he put off telling her what to do for one brief moment, so that he could comfort her.

He only allowed himself a moment of distraction, but he made the moment count, for the both of them. He had obviously taken note of her frightened gaze, her trembling hands, and she was sure that he could hear how irregular her breathing had become, over the past several minutes. She would've been embarassed, if the situation wasn't so dire, but it was all she could do to keep from passing out when he leaned forwards, gripping her cheek with his free hand, and pressing his lips against her warm forehead, in an obvious attempt to comfort her. It didn't really work, but as he let his lips linger on her skin for a fraction of a second, she did feel slightly better about the current situation. Derek's obvious confidence was catching, and she felt herself feeling slightly hopeful, despite how depressing the situation was. If Derek was this determined to find Justin, surely it would be done by nightfall, right?

She could only hope so.

They both tried their best to ignore the shocked stares of their family as he pulled back, his thumb grazing across her cheek as gently as possible, before he dropped his hand back down to his side. The other hand still held hers almost protectively in his own, and he kept his eyes on hers as he spoke, verbalizing the final part of his plan.

"Me and you will check anywhere we can think of," he said, his voice softer than when he had addressed anyone else. "I can only assume that we know him best, no offence to anyone else," he noted, with a glance towards his family, who all nodded understandably. Convinced of their understanding, he went on, his eyes locking with hers again.

"We'll make some phone calls, and... I'll alert every news network in Ontario if I've got to, until that boy's face is all over television."

He must have sensed her uncertainty, because his hand gripped hers a little bit tighter, and his eyes were serious as he nodded at her, obviously trying his best to stay confident, and keep his tone steady.

"We're gonna find him, Casey," he assured her, his voice determined and strong, so that she almost believed him. "I'll do everything in my power to make sure he's home safe and sound by tonight."

Her eyes flickered back and forth between each of his, and, when she considered the determination in his voice, and the confidence in his stare, she had no choice but to believe him. How could she not, when he had so many connections, so much willpower, so many plans on how to get their son back home, tonight?

Even if her mind wasn't fully convinced, she understood that this was the only plan she had to hold onto, and she planned on taking full advantage of that. She needed something to keep her sane, for what she knew would be a long night, and the thought of finding Justin was all that was going to keep her going, while they searched. She knew that she could stay strong, so long as Derek was by her side, helping her. They still had alot to talk about, and they were by no means back together...

But it could wait. Both of them understood that nothing, not even their relationship, was worth putting their son in danger, and that, if they were meant to happen, the conversation could wait as long as they needed it to. The talk that they needed to have would work just as well, if not better, once they weren't stressing out over whether or not their son was even alive, anymore.

The thought brought tears to Casey's eyes, but she forced them back as she drew in a shuddery breath, making a mental note to stay strong. She couldn't find Justin, if she was concentrated on her own pain. She needed to put him ahead of everything else, and concentrate on thinking of places where Justin might be, of where he might've gone in his newfound freedom.

"Okay," she said quickly, and Derek forced himself to smile at her, trying his best to come off as positive, and confident in their plan.

He looked around at their family, and they were met with a nod as he took a step backwards, pulling Casey with him. She knew that they had a long night ahead of them, but she felt like she could handle it, with Derek here holding her hand. He was so much more rational than her, for once. It was as though the stress factor wasn't even measuring into the equation for him, and she wondered if that was because he dealt with such a stressful job every single day. After all, he had to make quick decisions like this everytime he was fighting off negative media, like he had been with her over the past few months. Maybe he had learned to put stress on the back burner, so that he could focus on the problem at hand, more delicately.

She was pretty sure that she could learn alot from him, in that department.

"Everyone make sure their cellphone is on," he said, his voice telling and so demanding that Casey feared the consequences of disobeying his orders. "If you find something, or you hear anything, you call me and Casey first. Don't wait until you're sure on what you know, just call if _anything_ comes up."

They didn't wait for a response from their family. Without another word, they were gone, racing down the sidewalk with their hands clasped tightly together, their hearts racing furiously in their chest, but only one goal set in both of their minds.

They had to find Justin.

* * *

**Reviews are always motivational when it comes to writing ! **


	27. Bridges

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Bridges**

By eight thirty, it was starting to get dark out, and as the darkness grew, so did Casey's worries. They had been searching for three hours now, and nothing had turned up. They had gone through a couple of hopeful phases, where one of their cellphones would ring, and someone would think they had found something important. Once, Edwin had thought he saw a little boy who looked like Justin playing at the playground, but it turned out the kid was with his parents. Another time, a security gaurd at the mall claimed he had seen a little boy who fit Justin's description wandering around the mall at six thirty, by himself. Lizzie had called Derek and Casey to the mall and, after they had watched the surveillance tapes twice, spotting the boy in a toy store, they confirmed that the boy in the videos was definitely not their son. The announcement on the loudspeaker at the mall had sounded while they were there, asking for storeowners to search for a little boy in their stores. Turned out, the boy's aunt had lost sight of him, and he had wandered away to the toy store. Derek and Casey had watched the tapes as his aunt collected him in the toystore, and while they were happy for the woman, this didn't help them get their son back.

Those had been the only close calls they'd encountered, and at the moment, they were wandering through a park in downtown Toronto, showing off Justin's picture to anyone they seen, knowing that the chances of anyone having seen him by now were growing less and less great. Technically, he had been missing for five hours now, and if anyone would've seen him, it most likely would've been the people who had been out at around three, not the people walking the parks at eight thirty. Nonetheless, everything was worth a shot, and they refused to let a single person pass by without questioning whether or not they had seen their son.

Derek sighed as a cool breeze swept across the park, blowing his hair away from his forehead. He seemed unphased by the sudden cool air, but he wasn't surprised when Casey shivered, drawing her free arm tight around herself. Her other hand was still holding onto Derek's tightly; she had refused to let go unless it was absolutely necessary. A few times, she had dropped his hand so that one of them could check something out, but if they were just walking along like this, she would always make sure that his hand was closed tightly around hers. It comforted her, knowing that Derek was there for her. His hand was warm around her own, something that was useful given the cool air that was now starting to replace the afternoon's sunny weather. Her free hand was cold, but the icy feeling that settled through it was almost a relief, considering how swollen her hand was to begin with.

Derek was much calmer than she was over the whole thing. He had spent a good half an hour calling up every news station he could think of, and telling them to run a story on their networks, advertising Justin's disappearance. He had called up one of Vanessa's friendlier bodygaurds, who seemed to have a soft spot for Derek, and he and given him a picture of their son, to fax to the news stations. Apparantly, the story had been all over local television by six thirty, and a few people had called in with tips, which the police had investigated as quickly as possible. None of them had been promising leads, so far, but nonetheless, Derek's cellphone continued to ring every ten minutes, with one of the cops telling them the status of their latest lead. Each time the phone rang, Casey's heart would do a flip-flop, and her mind would race with both panic, and hope.

She was half afraid, everytime the phone rang, that it would be someone calling with bad news- calling to tell them that Justin was in the hospital, that they'd found him injured, or worse...

She shuddered away from the thought immediately, trying her best to focus as the old lady in front of them shook her head in response to the question Derek had just presented her with. Derek thanked the woman quickly, before closing his hand tightly over the wallet sized picture of Justin that he had been showing all the passerbyers. He didn't bother to put it away, because he knew that he'd just wind up taking it back out again in a few moments, but as he continued walking, he turned his gaze to Casey, sighing.

"It's getting dark out," she said, before he could say anything. "Justin doesn't like the dark."

"Maybe he'll start crying," Derek said, and she was surprised when his voice sounded hopeful. She gave him a weird look, and he shrugged, blushing slightly. "At least if he's crying, we can hear him. I'm not saying I want my kid in pain, but I want him ali-"

"Stop," she warned him suddenly, her voice sharp with fresh pain. He trailed off abruptly, and she shook her head, cringing. "I know what you mean. I just can't bear to think about it."

She tried to hide the growing edge of hysteria in her voice, but she knew that Derek wasn't convinced of her calm front in the slightest. He could see right through her, and when he detected a slight waver in her voice, his eyes immediately darted over to scan her face. As hard as she tried to hide her worries, she knew that they must be etched clearly onto her face, because within a moment, he was shaking his head, his eyes slightly worried.

"You're not gonna cry, are you?" he asked, as though tears were the worst thing in the world. "You know I can't handle crying, Case. Especially not with you."

His reaction to her emotional distress shocked her for a moment, and she could admit that she was taken aback by his sudden lack of interest in comforting her. She wasn't some sort of comfort whore; she didn't wan to constantly be the object of Derek's pity and sympathy, but that didn't mean that he could get away with acting like a jerk when she was upset over something this big. Maybe if she were crying over something stupid and insignificant, she would understand, but if he was going to act like an idiot when she was so distressed over something this huge... well then, he was more of a jerk than she thought, because this wasn't _her_ Derek. This wasn't the man she knew and loved. The comment that he had just made had been a ghost of the Derek she had known back in high school, the Derek who pretended as though tears were the end of the world, the bane of his existance.

And she had never been all that fond of that Derek.

She knew that she must look taken aback right now, and she quickly decided to do something about that. She wasn't going to let herself get worked up over anything Derek said. If he wanted to act like a jerk, then she'd let him act like one, but she wasn't going to sit there and pretend his sudden change of heart had affected her will to find Justin. She could do this with or without Derek, even if he was the only one who had been keeping her grounded all along. She had been comforted by holding his hand, and by the reassurances that he would ocassionally whisper to her, telling her that everything was going to be fine, and that they were going to find Justin and bring him home safely. She wasn't sure when the change had occured, but she knew that it must have been within the past few minutes, because he had been fine when they were checking out a playground, a good twenty minutes before.

It occured to her then that this had been the last time that they had spoken to each other, aside from their most recent exchange of words. It also occured to her that this had been around the time they'd crossed the path of the church again, as they hit the other side of town. It occured to her that maybe this had something to do with it, but she couldn't imagine what thoughts could've ran through his mind that would cause him to act like this towards her.

"No, I'm not going to cry," she said, fighting back every single bit of her willpower that screamed otherwise. "I'm not going to let anything _you_ do or say affect me. I've got more important things to be worrying about. Like my son, maybe."

Derek surprised her even further when he rolled his eyes, pulling his hand away from hers instantly. The pathway in front of them was clear, so he took a chance in putting Justin's picture safely in the inside pocket of his jacket, before he folded his arms across his chest. If this was meant to be an act of defiance, Casey was definitely amused, because she wasn't threatened in the slightest. She had seen a softer side of Derek, and once you knew someone's soft side, it was easy to tell when they were _trying_ to be a jerk, as opposed to just being one without realizing.

And right now, she couldn't tell whether or not his new attitude was intentional, or purely accidental. A more rational part of her understood that he didn't really want to be mean to her, but that he was upset over something; that much was clear. She had a feeling that maybe this was just his natural way of responding to trauma. She doubted it, because he had been handling Justin's disappearance so well, over the past few hours. He had been the only thing keeping her from going completely insane. Everytime she allowed a negative thought to float to the top of her mind, Derek would sense it on her facial expression, and he would immediately distract her with calming words, or even just a gentle squeeze of the hand.

And right now, she felt like she desperately needed a few kind words, the feeling of his warm hand wrapped tightly around her own. Her heart was racing at what felt like a thousand miles a minute, and she could feel the panic settled somewhere deep in her throat, just waiting to rise up. She knew that, if it did, she'd be screaming at him, voicing everything that was running through her mind at the point of near-deafening decibals. Either that, or she would end up crying, and she had a feeling that crying wouldn't be a good idea. If she started to cry, she would get distracted, and she wasn't going to allow that- not tonight. It had been Derek who had been keeping that panic at bay, and who had made sure she was focused, and attentive.

But if he was just going to be a jerk, she had a feeling that they weren't going to be able to cooperate at their finest. And if being around each other was going to create tension, then she had a feeling they shouldn't be working together at all. She wasn't about to let any amount of tension between the two of them get in the way of finding Justin.

But she really didn't want to leave him unless she had to, so, squinting through the trees for any sign of her son, she shook her head, annoyed.

"Why are you being such a jerk all of a sudden, anyways?" she asked, as casually as possible. "You were fine back at the church, and you've been nice to me up until now."

He shrugged, his eyes distant as he scanned the pathways for the small, sandy haired boy.

"Why do you care?" he questioned, though she could sense a hint of regret in his voice, for the way he was treating her. This relieved her; at least he wasn't totally dedicated to being mean to her.

"I care because you're my-" she started, and when his gaze snapped over to meet hers hopefully, she blushed, looking away quickly as they slowed their pace a little. "Well, I don't exactly know what you are," she continued, her voice quiter as she continued searching for the boy. She saw him turn away, a scowl on his face, but she ignored it as she went on, shrugging her shoulders.

"But whatever you are to me, you're an important part of my life," she admitted, the blush on her cheeks never fading. "We're supposed to be getting along, not fighting like this. Everything was perfect back at the church, and all of a sudden you're acting like... like..."

She paused, her eyebrows scrunching together thoughtfully as she struggled to find the right words, and she noticed that his head inclined slightly towards her, though his eyes never faltered once from his search for their son. She sensed his anticipation, and she finally shrugged, knowing it was best to speak the truth.

"You're acting like you used to act back in high school," she said, knowing that this would get him mad; one of his biggest regrets was the way he had treated her before they dated. "You're being distant and moody, and to be honest, you're not acting like the guy I fell in love with."

He cringed, though his moment of weakness was as short as it possibly could be. She had only just acknowledged his obvious negative reaction to her words, when he had re-arranged his features into a casual and careless look, one that was meant to show her that he didn't care what she thought, and that he wasn't phased by her obvious anger. She knew that this was a cover, but nonetheless, it still hurt to know that Derek was trying to freeze her out.

"Are you even going to answer me?" she finally asked, realizing that he had not replied to her comments. When he remained silent, and kept his eyes fixed on the trees to his immediate right, she rolled her eyes, feeling her anger getting the better of her. If he was going to be a brat, he could sure as hell be one, but she wasn't going to stand here and let him distract her.

"Fine," she got out, her voice harsh with resentment as she stopped dead in her tracks, folding her arms across her chest. She felt a pain shoot through her already broken hand as it pressed against her arm, but she ignored that as she took a step backwards, away from him. He had stopped, upon realizing that Casey wasn't following him anymore, and his body was turned on a slant, his eyes filled with a cold sort of confusion as he watched her, unsure of what she was doing. She thought it was pretty obvious that she was leaving, but if he was going to play stupid, she would explain things to him.

"If you're going to be a brat, go ahead, but don't expect me to put up with it," she said, her voice laced with ice. "I'm trying to focus on finding our son, and I can't do that if I'm arguing with you. So guess what? You're going to go your own way, and I'll go look for him by myself. We'll get more accomplished if we're not fighting."

Fear flickered through his eyes, and he didn't even try to mask it this time. She watched as some of the colour drained from his face, and he shook his head, taking a step towards her. She took one backwards, in response, and he froze in his tracks, clearly not wanting to tempt her to wander any further from him. His eyes were filled with panic as he opened his mouth, trying his best to get something out. It was obvious that he had nothing, and she watched as he closed his mouth, swallowing hard. His expression gave everything away, and she knew that he was torn between letting her go, so that nothing got any worse between them, or keeping her there, where he could at least keep an eye on her.

For the first time in her own memory, his protective side didn't triumph over his ego. She had expected him to refuse to let her go, to take her hand and tell her to stop being ridiculous- that he wasn't going to let her wander around the park by herself in the dark. She was used to this side of Derek, she was _comfortable_ with this side of Derek. And, though she hadn't realized it until now, she had _wanted_ him to stop her. She didn't want to continue her search alone. She felt like she wanted him there to help her, like she was more motivated when he was with her.

So she was shocked when he shrugged his shoulders, doing his best to clear his face of all reluctance, though he was unable to erase it completely. She could still hear the nervous edge to his voice when he spoke, and the fear was still playing faintly in his eyes as he took a step backwards, away from Casey.

"Fine," he murmered, his voice screaming with reluctance to let her go. "Go your own way. See if I care. It's not like you wanted me around in the first place, right?"

Without another word, he had turned abruptly, and was storming off in the other direction. She felt the pain flicker through her, and she couldn't deny that it hurt to watch him walk away from her like this, and leave her alone in the middle of a quickly emptying park, in downtown Toronto, no less. Didn't the man ever read crime-rate statistics? She knew full well that it had been _her_ call to walk away from him, and that she had been the one to claim she wanted to go off by herself.

But still, for him to just _let_ her go like that... it hurt.

But she wasn't going to make a big deal of it. If Derek was willing to leave her here, she'd go, and some irrational part of her was just _hoping_ that something bad would happen to her. She wanted him to feel horrible for this. She wanted him to regret leaving her behind, and not making her stick by his side. She could just imagine the look of absolute pain that would flicker across his usually stunning features when someone told him that something had happened to her, that she had gotten hurt because he hadn't been there, because she'd been alone. Because he had been an idiot.

But somehow, the thought of his guilt-ridden face hurt even more than him leaving her did. As much as she would like him to regret what he had allowed her to do, and as much as she thought that this was punishable, she didn't like to think of Derek in any sort of pain, or distress. She loved him enough that she would never want to cause him any pain, and, as forced herself to turn and walk away from him, she recognized that this was her fault. She had been the one who said she wanted to go off on her own, not Derek. It had been her decision to continue her search for Justin by herself, and she could not blame Derek for going along with something she seemed to want so much. She knew, deep down, that he realized the same thing as her; she would've gotten mad at him, if he'd fought her on it. She would've put up a fuss about how she didn't need him telling her what to do, or some nonsense like that. He shouldn't have left her there, regardless, but it had been her choice. She would be an idiot to turn around and get mad at him now.

As she walked along the trail by herself, going in the direction from which they'd just came, she thought over Derek's words in her head a little more clearly.

_"It's not like you wanted me around in the first place, right?" _

What exactly had he meant by that? How the hell could he even think that she wouldn't want him around? She was in love with him, dammit. He knew that; he had to know that. After their little confession spree a couple of days ago, how could there be a doubt in his mind about how she felt about him? No matter how stubborn he was being, she still wanted him around. How could he even think otherwise?

Then it occured to her. Maybe he had gotten the wrong meaning out of what she had told him back at the church. She knew that he had taken offense to the fact that she had only been there for Justin's sake. She knew that this had come as a disappointment to him, but could there be more to it? Did he think that she wouldn't have shown up, if it weren't for Justin? It occured to her then that maybe he was just hurting; maybe he had taken her words in the wrong context. She had never gotten the chance to tell him that, whether Justin had gone missing or not, she would've wound up at that church, anyways. She wasn't as nearly as capable of self-sacrifice as she had thought, and there was no way in hell that she would've stayed away from Derek, for any extended amounts of time. Showing up at that church had been inevitable, like a twisted sort of fate; there had been no avoiding it.

And maybe he hadn't known that. It occured to her that he really had been sort of quiet since they left the church, his only speech consisting of asking a passerbyer whether they had seen the boy, answering his cellphone, or telling that everything would be fine. She was unsure as to why he had been so comforting, within the first few hours, if this had been bothering him, and it occured to her that he had probably been giving the matter alot of thought, during that time.

And it appeared that he had come to the misguided conclusion that Casey didn't want to be with him, that she had only shown up because her son was missing.

What an idiot. She had told him flat out that she did want to be with him. She had admitted that she didn't have the guts to let him go through with the wedding, and that she thought he was _her _selfish idiot. Did he think she had made all of that up because she felt sorry for him? He should've known that she wasn't that good of a liar, especially when it came to him. He could always see right through her lies, and she was sure that this would have been no different. He should've been able to tell that she was being honest, with him.

She could slap that man, sometimes. If he was acting like a brat over something like this, then she had quite alot to say to him, starting, and ending, in the reminder that he was the world's biggest baby.

Turning around, she rolled her eyes, cursing her lack of willpower as she walked at a brisk pace back in the direction she'd just came, feeling like some sort of yo-yo. She couldn't keep pacing this exact length of pathway, over and over. This was the third time she had walked this stretch of ground, and she had to admit, it was getting old.

Folding her arms across her chest, she shook her head, her eyes narrowed with bitterness.

"Stupid Derek."

- - - -

By the time she managed to catch up with him, almost twenty minutes had passed. The stupid idiot had taken about fifteen turns, going in no predictable pattern, and by the time she spotted his messy brown hair and his black jacket through a gap in the trees, she wanted to strangle him. Didn't he know she was a girl, and that the extent of her physical activity, outside of dance, was chasing a six year old boy around a playground? Geez, how much running did he expect her to do?

She didn't bother calling out to him. She knew how he functioned, and she had a good feeling that, if he knew she was coming, he would just take off even faster, so that she couldn't reach him. She was having enough trouble keeping up with him at the pace he was going now; if he went any faster, she'd never catch up to him. And, as much right as he would have to take off on her, she rather felt that this was something that they had to do together. She just wasn't able to find Justin on her own, without Derek there to keep her sane. She needed him, and, as much as he was pretending otherwise, she hoped that he needed her too. In fact, she _knew_ that he needed her. His stubborn ego was just standing in the way of him acting like a normal human being.

Stupid male egos.

By the time she caught up to him, she was very out of breath, and the first thing that she felt like doing was smacking him right on the back of the head, for causing all of this trouble. Sure, she had been the one to claim she would go her own way, but that wouldn't have been an issue if he hadn't been acting like a baby in the first place.

But she wasn't going to stand here and play the blame game, so when Derek froze in his tracks, his eyes fixed on her with curiousity and relief, she shook her head, nodding towards the trail in front of them. His eyes were no less confused than they had been only moments before, but she did notice that he seemed torn between two choices. She knew that he was unsure whether or not he should be stopping to make sure she was okay, since she _was _breathing awfully hard, or whether he should keep his head high and keep on ignoring her. He didn't even seem to notice that she had given him the more desireable option by nodding towards the trail.

While he was still staring at her with a mixture of fury and relief, she managed to straighten up, and take in a deep breath. The sensation of it stung the back of her throat, but she did her best to ignore that as she looked up at him, her cheeks flushed red as she gave another nod towards the trail.

"Keep on walking," she instructed, trying her best to sound composed. "We came to look for him together, and we're not letting any amount of childish fighting stand in the way of that."

Derek's eyes seemed to soften a little at that, and he squinted at her as he followed her orders, taking normal-paced steps forwards. His face showed every sign of confusion, and he looked as though there was so much he wanted to say to her, if the timing were different. She knew that so much was left unresolved with the two of them, and that they had a lifetime of things to sort out between them, but she also knew that every one of their problems could wait until the biggest one was solved. Being together wouldn't matter, if they had to live with the guilt of losing their son for the rest of their life.

And it was exactly that train of thought that allowed Casey to turn to him with full confidence, and speak up.

"I know why you're mad at me," she said, nodding her head as he peered at her curiously, one eyebrow raised. She took her chances, and went on. "I think you should know you're wrong about what you're thinking. What I said back at the church... there's more behind it, and when Justin's back where he belongs, I promise you I'll tell you the whole story, okay? But just... don't get mad at me when you don't know the whole story. Fighting isn't going to do anyone any good tonight. Justin needs us."

He blinked, and she could tell he was seriously considering what she had said. They were still walking at a regular pace, making their way towards the exit of the park so that they could look elsewhere, but his eyes were glued to her face as he bit his lip, nodding slightly. There was some level of reluctance to the nod, and she knew that she wasn't going to be completely forgiven until he had the whole story. Nonetheless, this was better than nothing, and she sighed, running a tired hand through her hair.

"Look, there's no sense in us trailing around this park anymore than we already have, because he's clearly not here," she said, and she was surprised when he nodded in agreement, his eyes glazed over with a new determination to find Justin. She knew that they both wanted to get this figured out as soon as possible, so that they would know their little boy was safe.

"I don't know where else we could look," he said, speaking for the first time since her reappearance. "l mean, we've had the others scouting most of downtown Toronto all afternoon. His face is all over television by now, and-"

He was cut off when his cellphone rang again, and he cursed under his breath, grimacing. He held up a finger to her, signalling that he would finish explaining in a minute, and she nodded as he reached into his pocket, extracting the source of the noise. He flipped the phone open, and Casey wrapped her arms around her body, shivering slightly as she glanced around, peering through the trees as though hoping the six year old would come barrelling towards her, with a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah, I haven't heard from you in a few hours, I told you to..." she listened intently as Derek trailed off, listening to the voice on the other end of the line. "They're _what_? She did _what_?"

Casey shot him an inquizzative look, and he quickly averted his gaze from hers, clearly not wanting her to see how angry he was. This only worried her further, for she knew that he only masked his anger from her when he was really, really angry about something. She knew that, if he wasn't even willing to look her in the eye, then something was seriously wrong. She could feel a gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach, something that told her something important had changed; something wasn't right.

Against her better judgement, she tuned back into what Derek was saying, trying to piece together some clues that she found hidden between his words.

"No, you listen to me," he was saying, his voice filled with hatred and intimidation. "You call every single one of those news stations, and you tell them that they'd better get that story back on the air _right now_. No, don't you worry about calling _her_, I'll deal with that myself. You just make sure every little bit of damage she's caused is reversed. If I turn on a TV in half an hour, I'd better not see _one word_ about... what?"

She waited, completely lost now, and she found that she was chewing nervously on her lower lip as she watched his face contort with rage, and obvious hatred. She hadn't seen him this worked up in a long time, and it was definitely something that she didn't like witnessing. It wasn't that she was afraid of him, because she knew perfectly well that Derek would never lay a finger on her. No matter how angry he was, he would never physically hurt her, and she knew that she could trust him completely. But still, seeing him so worked up often frightened her, because she didn't know what he was capable of doing to someone he was angry with. Someone who wasn't her.

"Okay, well I'll let you go then. I've got a call coming in on the other line, anyways," he said, glancing down at the screen. Casey watched as his eyes flashed with recognition, and whatever he had just read on the screen seemed to calm him down a little bit. His eyes lost their bitter edge, though it was obvious that he was still extremely ticked off about something, and he quickly pressed the Talk button, switching to the other line. She watched as he greeted the person on the other line, and listened carefully. He looked very concentrated as he listened to whoever was speaking, and she watched as he bit his lower lip, nodding his head as he shot a glance at Casey.

"Yeah, she's right next to me," he was saying as he eyed her, and she felt the curiosity boil up inside of her; what was he talking about? This was driving her absolutely insane! The man needed to put the call on speakerphone, at the very least. She felt absolutely powerless to the situation at hand, right now.

Nonetheless, Derek continued speaking, and she tuned back in when she heard him say her name. Her eyes snapped up to his figure, and she frowned as he nodded towards her, extending his hand to pass the cellphone over to her. In one brief moment, she felt both relief, and fear, flicker throughout her body. On one hand, she was relieved to finally be filled in on something that was going on. The curiosity was going to be the death of her, she was sure. But on the other hand, Derek had seemed awfully angry a moment ago. Had something happened to Justin that she didn't know about? Had he been found hurt, sick, or worse?

Deciding that it was best not to jump to such horrible conclusions, she grasped the cellphone in her shaking palm, drawing in a deep breath as she pressed it to her ear, feeling incredibly nervous. Derek must have sensed this, because- before she could question it- his hand was resting on the small of her back, steadying her. She half expected that he would pull away after a quick moment, but he didn't. He kept his arm secured tightly around her waist, as though he was worried about letting her go.

As if he were worried that she would take off running, once someone told her something.

They were paused outside the park gates now, frozen in their tracks for the first time in quite a few hours. Casey wanted to keep on moving, to keep searching for her son, but she knew that she needed to be filled in on this newest development before she could even attempt to plan out their next move. Every little bit of information counted for something, and that meant that whatever she was about to hear would have to be taken into consideration, before she kept on moving.

Comforted by the feel of Derek's hand against her back, she closed her eyes, drawing in another shaky breath.

"Hello?" she got out, ashamed of how nervous her voice sounded. It seemed to break on the last syllable, but she ignored it as she heard her mother's frantic voice over the other end of the line.

"Case?" her mother questioned, sounding relieved. "Thank God you're still with Derek. I've been trying your cellphone, but it must've gone dead."

Casey nodded, remembering the occasion an hour before, when her battery had finally given up on her, during her one hour of need. She was incredibly grateful that Derek's phone had a full battery, because she had a feeling that they wouldn't have gotten by without it.

"Yeah, Mom," she said, sighing as she watched people strolling casually out of the park, not a worry on their minds. Derek had already spoken to most of them, so there was no need to re-quuestion them about Justin. Most of the ones who remembered their faces were giving the couple looks of sympathy, and in a few cases, looks of disgust. Casey supposed that the haters would be Vanessa's fans, eager to bring down anyone associated with Casey McDonald, but she had ignored those stares. What other people thought of her didn't matter. The only people who mattered in her life were Justin, and Derek.

"My phone died about an hour ago," she informed her mother, shrugging her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

She was tense, and Derek must have taken notice, because the next thing she felt was his hand sliding up her back smoothly. The feeling was perfection, and she closed her eyes when she felt his larger hands pressing gently against the muscles around her neck and shoulders, in some sort of a massage. She immediately tilted her head back to his touch, her eyes still closed, and she thanked the heavens that Derek knew how to give a massage. She had a feeling that he was smirking, right about now, but she didn't give a damn what he was doing, so long as he was relieving some of the stress that had built up in her muscles, over the past few hours.

She was so caught up in Derek's actions, that she was a little taken aback when she heard her mother's voice coming through the phone, frantic and nervous. She forced herself to pay attention to her mother, all the while enjoying the relaxation that was spreading across her shoulders, and through her neck. She made a mental note to herself to thank the man later, because this was the most relaxed she'd felt in hours.

"So me and George stopped into your Aunt Fiona's, to ask her if she could help us out a little bit," she started, her voice sounding almost hesitant now, as though she was unsure whether or not she should be telling Casey anything. But evidently, she was already in too deep to hang up now, so she took a deep breath, continuing.

"Anyway, your aunt had the television on, and I sort of heard a story that I think you should know about."

Casey hesitated, and she tilted her head slightly to the side, trying to see Derek. He was almost completely behind her by now, and she could only catch a vague glimpse of his hand resting on her shoulder. She vaguely wondered if his expression was as tense as it had been before, and whether or not this was the same piece of information that he'd just been given over the phone. She couldn't see anything being so terrible that he would feel the need to get that angry, but she supposed she would just have to find that out for herself.

Taking a deep breath, she squinted towards the roadway, her eyes not really focused on anything in particular. She tried to keep her voice strong, and she was proud when it didn't waver once, as she spoke.

"What is it, Mom?" she questioned, sounding neutral. "I mean, I know Derek's got Justin's picture all over TV by now, so what could you have possibly seen that-"

Before she could finish the sentence, Derek's hand had suddenly moved from her shoulders, and he had snatched the cellphone out of her hand. It all happened so quick, that by the time she had turned around, the cellphone was stowed safely in his pocket, closed. He must have moved pretty quickly, because she hadn't even realized what he had done until she'd turned around.

She studied his expression with confusion, and saw that- behind the anger- there was panic. This was something that she hadn't expected to see in his features, and really, she saw no purpose behind it. Why should he be panicked? If someone had told him about whatever they were showing on television, why couldn't she know? It obviously affected her, and quite frankly, it annoyed her that he had cut the phone call short, right before Nora had told her what she had seen on TV. He was very unnecessarily drawing out her frustration, and when she was already so tense, he should know that this was not the best thing to do.

"Der-_ek_!" she cried, her voice a strangely perfect shadow of her high school self. That threw him off for only a moment, and she saw the amusement flicker through his eyes as he blinked a couple of times, shaking his head. She hadn't been able to match that cry of annoyance as well as she just had in over seven years. She knew that the feeling of being the one to get under her skin like that was just another reminder to him of the power he held over her. Nobody else had ever been able to make her as infuriated as Derek did.

She hated that he saw this as a benefit.

She placed a hand on her hip, her eyes narrowed into murderous slits as she shook her head at him, clearly angry.

"I can't believe you just did that!" she yelled at him, ignoring the stares of passerbyers, who were watching the scene with vague interest. Derek shifted uncomfortably, the smirk disappearing as his cheeks blushed red, and he bowed his head in an attempt to hide his face. It really ticked her off that he was worried about protecting his reputation at a time like this, but she decided to let it slide as she continued with her nonsensical ranting.

"My mother was trying to tell me something extremely important, and then you just hung up on her, just like that!" she said, shaking her head as her face turned red with anger. "Why would you _do_ that, Derek? That's rude, not to mention stupid!"

"Casey, people are staring," he said quietly, his lips barely moving as he glanced up at her, his head still tilted slightly towards the ground.

She laughed bitterly, shrugging her shoulders as she gave a gesture around them, towards the people who were passing by.

"So what if people are staring?" she cried, loud enough for the people in question to hear her. "_Let _them stare! See if I care!"

"Casey, please," he said, raising his gaze slightly so that his brown eyes met with her blue ones. Her breath caught in her throat as she caught sight of his amazing eyes, and she forced herself to concentrate on her anger, not on his eyes. She wasn't going to allow herself to be broken down like this, just because Derek hapened to have the most beautiful eyes she'd ever caught sight of...

A growl of frustration slipped past her lips, and she ran a hand through her hair, her fingers tangling with the messy strands as she shook her head, her eyes squeezing shut tightly as she silently cursed her self control.

"Stop that!" she cried, her free hand pressed against her face, the words coming out muffled against her palm. "Give it up, okay?"

She expected him to laugh at her then. She was fully anticipating the gentle rumble of laughter that she was usually met with when she was acting psychotic. He always seemed to find her breakdowns amusing, and she was sure that this would be no different. And so she stood there, bringing her other hand down from her hair so that her face was buried against her palms, her swollen hand hot against her cheeks as she willed herself not to cry. It wasn't Derek's behaviour that was getting her so worked up; it was _everything_, thrown together at once. She could only handle so much before she completely lost it, and she knew that she had just reached that point.

It had been a long time coming, really. From the moment Derek had recognized her in that coffee shop nearly two months ago, she should have recognized that a breakdown was inevitable. Everything in her life had been turned upside down, and so far, she had been proud of herself for handling everything so well. Everything that Vanessa had thrown at her had been enough; the violence, the threats, the cruel and vicious rumours. She had been able to take that, so long as she knew she had Justin by her side. The little boy's smile had been all that she had needed to keep her strong. His laughter, and his happy face bouncing out into the kitchen every single morning had been all that she needed to keep fighting against Vanessa. It had been impowering, to know that, unlike Vanessa- she had something to fight for. Vanessa had been clinging onto an empty romance, a relationship that was lucky to have survived as far as it had, without slander. She should've known that, if she had to fight so hard to save her engagement, it probably wasn't worth saving.

Casey had held Derek's heart from the beginning, even if she hadn't totally recognized it until the past few days. She'd always had Derek, but without Justin, she had felt like she had nothing to fight for. The past two weeks had been spent in self-pity and wallowed misery- something that she knew in her heart she should be ashamed of. The real Casey would've been stronger against Vanessa. The real Casey would've fought back, got even. But what more could she have done? If she had fought against social services, it would've only caused more trouble for her son, in the long run. Staying quiet may have lead to all of this, but it had seemed like the right choice, for so long. She had thought that, by allowing the centre to take Justin, she was creating less trouble for her boy, and that was all she had cared about. She had known it would be silly to attempt to fight against her enemy. Vanessa had the support of the entire world on her back, and what did Casey have?

She didn't realize she was crying until she felt Derek's warm hands wrap around her wrists, and pull her hands away from her face. It was the cool air brushing against her wet cheeks that made her realize that tears were escaping her eyes. The breeze sent a gentle tingling sensation throughout her cheeks, and she felt a sob catch in her throat as she looked up at Derek through tear-filled eyes. She knew that she must look like an absolute mess, right about now. Her hair was messy from the wind, her makeup must be completely shot, after all that she'd endured today, she was wearing one of his oversized hoodies, and her cheeks were stained with tears. What could he possibly find attractive in her, at this point?

But his expression never changed as he held her wrists in his hands, his brown eyes never leaving her tear-filled blue ones. His figure was blurry in front of her, but she blinked, bringing him into a clearer focus. When she did, it was easy to see that the look on his face was concerned, and yet pained, as though he hated seeing her like this. As though _he _was the one suffering, right now.

"Are you quite done?" he asked her quietly, his voice smooth, almost angelic. "Because I've got to tell you- no cruelty intended- that I meant what I said before. I really do hate seeing you cry."

She heard a strange noise escape her lips, and she wasn't quite sure which it was- a strangled sob, or choked laughter- because she really wasn't sure what to make of the comment. On one hand, she supposed he was trying to be serious- he really did look bothered by her tears, after all. But on the other hand, it was his job to put up with her crying. If he really wanted to be with her, he was going to have to accept the fact that she was one of the most emotional creatures he would ever endure- and that was solid hard fact.

Shaking her head, she forced a tight-lipped smile, her sad laughter audible through her sobs.

"You jerk," she mumbled, only half joking, but before she could say anything more, he had loosened his grip on her wrists, and pulled her to his chest. She gladly allowed her face to bury against his shoulder as his arms encircled her body, drawing her parrallel to his chest. She allowed herself to cry shamelessly into his shirt, overwhelmed by the strong wave of nostalgia she was feeling- for a time when nothing mattered but her and Justin. When she could smile and tell Justin that she would tell him about his father when he was older- when she could admire Derek from afar, usually meaning she would just read up about him in the magazines, from time to time. Even more than that, she longed for the time before Justin, as selfish as it was. Those times had been even more simple.

Of course, there was nothing about their relationship that had ever been completely stress-free, and easy. Being stepsiblings had created issues for them right from the beginning, but they had been happy together, back then. They hadn't had to worry about their missing son, they didn't have a scheming fiancee doing everything in her power to keep them apart... there had been nothing but the two of them. Just like now, in that one moment, as he held her. She could feel every ounce of his dedication and affection just radiating off of him, reminding her that- despite all that they'd been through, she still meant the world to him. Everything he had told her a few days before had been true. Vanessa could never mean as much to him as Casey did; he could never hold Vanessa like this.

She felt his cheek pressing against the side of her head, and she kept her face buried against his shoulder as he held her tighter, his hands spread out across her back as though he was trying to reach as much of her as he could. She wanted to pull away to see if people were staring at them, but to be quite honest, she found that she didn't really care. Anyone who had something to say about her and Derek could just go to hell, because she was sick of being judged by Vanessa's stupid little fanbase. She was sick of being viewed as Ontario's homewrecker, and to be quite honest, it was at the point that she didn't _care_ what they thought of her anymore. They could call her a slut, and they could call her a violent and agressive bitch, but in the end, it didn't matter. She knew who she was on the inside, and so did Derek. Hell, even the rest of their family didn't believe a word the press was printing about her.

And as long as they knew the difference, it didn't matter, because nobody else's opinion mattered to her. As long as her loved ones knew the difference, she didn't give a damn what the rest of the world thought. They didn't matter.

"Shh," she heard Derek murmer, as he brought one hand up to run through her hair. "Casey, it's okay. We're going to find him, baby; I promise you we're going to find him."

"I just want him back, Derek," she sobbed, her hands pressed against his chest, pinned between the two of them as she sniffed, drawing in a shaky breath. Her head never lifted from his chest, but she opened her eyes as she allowed her fingers to bunch around the smooth material of Derek's black jacket. She didn't care what she was touching at this point; she just needed to feel _something_, to prove that she hadn't turned completely numb to the world around her. She felt like she was just detached from everything surrounding her; like she was immune to every last bit of it.

If only she could grow immune to the emotional pain that her situation brought, she might feel a bit better about the numbness that she felt inside. But no, the pain was there- real, stronger than it had ever been before. It washed over her, so powerfully that she could almost feel the hole inside of her that had once been filled with peace and serenity- back in simpler times, before Vanessa Williams had been involved in her life.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, and she managed to look up at this, her tears tapering off slightly in favour of her shock. Her eyes were confused as she studied his face, figuring he must be joking. What on earth did he have to be sorry about? She was the one who had wrecked his engagement, who had come along and turned his once smooth and peaceful life into a constant trail of destruction and drama. She had single-handedly turned his life upside-down. If anyone should apologize, she figured it should be her.

"Derek, what are you talking about?" she asked, her voice still weak in the aftermath of her tears. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

He looked down at her then, his grip on her secure as he shrugged his shoulders. She saw him cringe slightly at the sight of her tears, but he didn't reach down to wipe them away- perhaps afraid of letting go of her for even a moment. She didn't mind; his arms felt comforting around her waist, and she preferred that he kept them there. She could deal with a few tears, after all.

"I should never have come into your life and screwed everything up like this," he said, sighing as he shook his head at her, his eyes full of remorse. "Ever since I came along, your life has been filled with nothing but scandal and drama. I mean, you had to deal with Vanessa being an absolute monster to you, and you've had the media hounding you for a month and a half now- something I'm sure has affected Justin, too. The two of you were so happy before I came along, and now... Justin's missing, you're miserable..."

He trailed off, cringing as he shrugged his shoulders again, looking away from her.

"I just think you would've been alot better off without me," he admitted, and she knew that this had been bothering him for awhile now, judging by the pain etched into his face. "I mean, I'm not saying I don't like having you back in my life. It would be a lie if I said that. I'm a selfish guy, Casey. I always have been, and that's why I refused to push you away, even when I knew you'd be better off without me."

There was so much she wanted to question, so much she wanted to tell him, though she understood that it was not the time, nor the place. She wanted to kiss him, and make every bit of pain in his eyes disappear, every ounce of guilt he felt evaporate into thin air. She wanted to tell him that she didn't feel he shouldered any of the blame for her life turning into a hellhole, because really- if this was hell, it wasn't so bad. At the moment, yes, she was in pain. Her heart ached for her son, for the three of them to be able to unite as a family...

Her mind involuntarily flickered back to the first night her and Justin had spent in Derek's apartment, when he had been protecting them from the media. They had felt like such a family, back then. She remembered sitting around with Derek, and watching TV, as Justin played absent-mindedly by the glass wall that overlooked the city of Toronto. He had been so taken up with that window, and the way he was so high above everything else. She should have expected it, of course. Whenever Justin was feeling highly emotional about something, it always helped when she took him to the park and let him climb the monkey bars, or the jungle gym. Justin absolutely loved heights, especially when he was feeling particularily powerless in a situation.

It hit her then, like a cool wave from the Atlantic had suddenly washed over her unusually warm being- wrapped in Derek's arms. The man who was holding her so affectionately had been waiting for a response for nearly a full minute now, and it occured to her that she hadn't said a word to him, but oddly enough, she didn't care. She felt like such an idiot for not thinking of this sooner. How simple the answer had been, and yet how horribly terrifying the very idea was to her, at the same time.

"Justin loves heights," she whispered, her eyes flickering around nervously as her entire body tensed. Derek held her tighter, tilting his head to look down at her features, confused. Her response didn't make any sense to him, for he had been expecting a reply to everything he had just told her- to his apology.

"What?" he questioned, shaking his head in what could only be bewilderment. "Justin loves... Casey, what are you talking about?"

Her eyes darted up to meet his then, as a wave of reality washed over her, and she realized how serious this was.

"Justin loves heights," she repeated, pulling out of his grasp, her chest heaving as she struggled to breathe. "So many places we didn't check... oh _God_."

He caught on then, and his eyes widened with panic as he ran a hand through his hair, his face paling immediately. Casey began to pace back and forth, her hand on her forehead as she struggled to think of the many places he could be. They had checked the parks, so an innocent little jungle gym was out of the question. This wasn't exactly reassuring, but it was the truth, and it did rule out one possibility for her.

"Trees... no, we would've seen him," she murmered, as she struggled to think of where else he could be. All thoughts of the phone call that Derek had received had been driven from both of their minds for the moment, as they struggled to come up with a solution that would fit Casey's suspicions. Half of her hoped she was wrong; heights were dangerous, and Justin could be fairly clumsy. He was her son, after all.

Her mind was still racing with possibilites, so much so that she didn't even notice the way Derek had frozen in his tracks, his skin pale as he stared at her, an unfathomable expression written across his usually smooth and calm features.

"Casey," he choked out, his voice weak as he clenched his hands into fists, swallowing hard. She turned to him, her eyes distracted as she placed a hand on her hip, sighing.

"What is it, Derek?" she questioned, not really in the mood for anything other than helpful suggestions. Her tears had faded upon her radical suggestion, and she was now as serious as ever, her face set in a determined gaze as she tried her hardest to keep herself composed. The idea of Justin being anywhere relating to heights sickened her. How easily he could fall, or get injured... how easily those injuries could prove to be too much on his fragile body...

She shuddered away from the thought as she waited for Derek's response to her question. Maybe he had a more logical reasoning behind Justin's disapearance, something that would not inspire as much pain as the idea of heights seemed to be bringing to her being. She couldn't imagine what he could've thought up that hadn't been obvious twenty minutes before, but nonetheless, it was a possibility, right?

But Derek's eyes remained terrified as he swallowed hard, shaking his brown hair away from his eyes as he brought his frightened gaze up to meet hers, in one glistening connection. She was alarmed by this; Derek was never one to be frightened easily, but the look of fear playing in his eyes now was undeniable.

He was scared.

"What's the closest bridge to the centre?" he questioned, his voice shaky. It was obvious that he was hoping she would scold him for thinking such a thing, that she would put his idea to shame immediately. She knew that he was depending on her sense of logic to get him out of this one, to prove that his thinking was, as usual, irrational.

Oh, how she wished she could put his worries at ease. She wished with all of her might that she could deny the fact that Derek had tapped into something logical, something that made all the sense in the world, and yet had the power to destroy them, all at once.

But she had no such power, and as realization swept over her, she returned Derek's gaze with her own look of terror. Their emotions were mirrored, right now, and she knew that the feeling of nausea that was overpowering her own body had to be sweeping through Derek, right about now, as well.

Because there was absolutely nothing worse than the thought of their six year old boy, wandering alone on a dangerously high bridge, with no means of communication in him. If something were to happen, if he were to slip, try to climb the beams... they would have destruction on their hands. The tiniest of mistakes on Justin's behalf could result in the ultimate tragedy, and nobody knew that better than Casey.

This definitely wasn't looking good.

* * *

**Okay, so I am sorry for the delay on this chapter. I have been studying for finals, but that's all over now, so hopefully I can get back to updating on a regular basis! I also apologize, because I don't really feel this chapter was in tune, but what can you do- I have been experiencing extremeee writers block.**

**Also, a note. I appreciate constructive criticism, but I do not appreciate flames. To be honest, I don't really take those sorts of reviews seriously, because really, I only value the opinions of people who are trying to help improve aspects of writing- not people who criticize with no real sense of guidance. I don't let those sorts of things affect me; they don't hurt- they're just immature. You know who you are. Seriously, people I don't take offense to that sort of stuff, I mostly ignore it. If you have a problem with the story, you tell me what you would like fixed, not submit reviews like that. Honestly. **

**On a brighter note, don't think Derek and Casey are putting their own needs before their sons, because that is not the message I'm trying to convey. They're doing their best to work together. There is alot of tension between them, but they're trying, hence why Casey came back and told him that they would sort it out later; their first priority is Justin.**

**As for the phone call, yes, you will find out who it was, and what they told Derek. And, as you can probably guess, there is more treachery on Vanessa's behalf. She DOES NOT have Justin, I can assure you. She had nothing to do with it, though alot of you suspected otherwise. And there WILL be a confrontation between the two of them, and Vanessa, but that can happen after they figure out what happened to Justin. **

**And for all you faithful reviewers, review pleaseee! You guys rock!**


	28. The Truest Sacrifice

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Truest Sacrifice**

It was Derek who suggested that they check out a bridge not far from the church, which was probably the first bridge that came to his mind when he thought in proximity to the children's centre. Casey had no idea whether or not he was anywhere close to being right, but doing _something_ was better than standing around, waiting for something to happen. Casey felt as though half of her desperately wanted to find Justin on that bridge, just so the panic of not knowing where he was would end, but on another note, she didn't want him to be anywhere near the bridge. She couldn't handle the thought of what coul happen if he made one wrong move, while mounted so high up above the ground.

She shuddered away from the very thought of the harm that such an accident would bring to him.

They had managed to locate her car, though it had taken alot of willpower on her own behalf, considering she had not been paying an ounce of attention when she had parked the thing. She had, at first, requested to be allowed to drive, but she had known all along that it was out of the question altogether. Her broken hand was still swollen beyond belief, something that she knew was a concern to Derek, and aside from that, she was in no emotional state to operate a vehicle. Her entire body was shaking with a mixture of panic and fear, and they both knew that she was nowhere near focused enough to drive them from point A to point B. Derek would've been labelled a madman, had he allowed her behind the wheel in her current state.

So she had handed him her keys, allowing him to lead their way to the bridge in question. The ride had been strangely silent so far, and she would be the first to admit that it was sort of awkward- sitting here like this. She hadn't really been too attentive on their silence for the first half of the ride; she had been too busy gripping the edge of her seat with her good hand, and anxiously biting her nails on her other hand- a habit she had always despised, and kept away from. Her mind had been so concentrated on what they would find at the bridge that she hadn't really cared whether or not she was speaking with Derek or not.

But it was the sudden memory of her mother's phone call that had sparked her curiousity, and she was immediately reminded of everything that Derek had refused to tell her, up until now. She had almost forgotten about the phone call he had received- about the angry manner in which he'd been acting.

And, despite the fact that he was going to be stubborn about it, she was at least going to try to get him to tell her the truth. If nothing else, it would distract her from letting her mind wander, for the remainder of the drive to the bridge.

"Derek," she said, her eyes suddenly wandering to the driver, who was staring straight ahead, his eyes set firmly on the road. She examined his posture quickly, noticing the way his knuckles had turned white from his grip on the wheel, the way his jaw was clenched tensely, matching the stiff posture of the rest of his body. He looked frozen to his spot, and this did nothing to shove away her suspicions that there was much more wrong than he was letting on.

"Yeah, Casey?" he questioned, though she suspected he was only half paying attention to her. "What is it?"

Sighing, she curled her good hand around the edge of her seat, picking at a loose thread of fabric that she found there- to distract her.

"Are you going to tell me who you were talking to on the phone?" she asked, watching him for any signs of distress. His eyes flashed with anger again, and she could only hope that this anger was not directed towards her. She didn't want to cause anymore arguments between them, at this stage in the game.

He did a good job of covering up his reaction, and he quickly cleared his throat, shrugging his shoulders carelessly as he carefully avoided the question.

"I don't think you need to know that just yet," he admitted, though his tone of voice screamed otherwise. "You've got enough going on as it is, and I really don't think I should be telling you anything else that could upset you. You're already stressed out enough as it is; I don't need you having some sort of breakdown on me, right?"

She wanted desperately to smile at the mocking tone she heard in his voice, and at the way he reached over to ruffle her hair playfully, but she couldn't even bring herself to laugh, she was that distracted. With such dire circumstances lurking over their heads, she almost felt as though laughing or smiling were impossible- like it would be a betrayal to Justin to show a display of happiness when he was in such grave danger.

"Derek, please," she begged, watching as the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips disappeared, being replaced with an anxious frown. "I can't be in much of a worse mood than I already am. Trust me, you'll be doing me a favour by telling me whatever it is you know. It's stressing me out- not knowing."

He looked torn- his lips were suddenly pressed into a thin white line, though his eyes still held most of their determination. She could see that her words had affected him- to some extent. If there was one thing she knew, it was that he didn't like being the one to stress her out, or to make her upset. He always felt horrible when he managed to do either, whether it be accidental or not, and she knew then that she had him sold. There was no way in hell he wasn't going to tell her, if she was upset about it.

Sure enough, he sighed, removing one hand from the wheel long enough to rub his temple, his eyes squinted with frustration.

"Are you sure you want to know, Case?" he asked her, the tiniest hint of hope in his eyes. "I mean, you're so upset already and I..."

His eyes flickered over to hers, and she stared back, keeping her face steady and determined. She saw the anguish in his eyes, and watched as he cringed, shaking his head. The hand that had been on his face moved to rest on his knee, and she knew how completely stressed out he was, about whatever it was he wanted to say.

"I don't want you to get hurt," he finished quietly, shrugging his shoulders as his gaze returned to the road. She turned away, bowing her head as a crimson blush crept into her cheeks. She could sense that Derek felt awkward admitting what he had just told her, but all the same, she knew that it was the God's honest truth. There was no way that he was lying, when he said that this was his only reasoning for not wanting to tell her. His voice betrayed him, when he was lying to Casey, and she knew that she would've been able to tell if he was messing with her.

With this in mind, she uncurled her good hand from the seat, and reached over to place her hand over the one on his knee. She felt his hand tense beneath hers, but he still managed to flip his hand over, so that his fingers could lock with hers. She was immediately comforted by the feeling of his hand wrapped around her own, and she managed to give his hand a comforting squeeze, offering a faint smile towards him.

"You're not going to hurt me," she assured him, her voice laced with sincerity. "Trust me, there's nothing that can come as a shock to me, right about now. I mean, my son's missing, and that's probably the biggest shock I'll ever have to handle in my life. Nothing you can say will come as that much of a shock to me- not to the extent that I'd regret knowing. I want you to tell me everything you know, please."

He didn't argue against her, this time. She wasn't met with determined eyes, or a shake of the head to indicate that he wouldn't be telling her anything. She had known that he would give in quickly, but she hadn't expected this easy a victory. In fact, if the matter were not so serious, she might've been disappointed that she had nothing to argue with him, about. Arguing with Derek kept their relationship healthy, that was for sure.

But there was no arguing as he sighed, wincing slightly as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, as though he was worried about her.

"Vanessa's involved, as you probably could've guessed already," he admitted, and she was surprised when this didn't phase her in the slightest; she had subconciously suspected this, already. She was silent, wanting to give him a chance to continue.

It took a moment of pause, but when he gathered up his courage, he continued.

"That was one of her bodygaurds on the phone," he said, his voice tense. "Not all of them are cruel, like Riley is. Most of them actually like me better than they like her, to be honest. And this one, Jake is his name... well, he called to tell me that Vanessa has been spreading false stories about you over the news again."

Casey was unphased by this, as well. Vanessa was always spreading false stories about her over the news; what was so bad about that? She was used to the media chasing her around and calling her a homewrecker. If Derek thought she couldn't deal with this by now, then he was more insane than even she had realized.

Shaking her head, she shrugged her shoulders, no sign of distress in her eyes whatsoever.

"So what?" she questioned, her voice unphased by this new development. "Vanessa's always telling lies about me on national television. I think it's her favourite hobby, by now. What's so horrible about that? I can put up with anything Vanessa Williams throws at me, Derek. I'm a big girl; she doesn't scare me, anymore."

Derek let a tiny chuckle escape his lips as he pulled up to a red light. Casey had a good feeling that he wouldn't have even stopped, if there wasn't another car in front of him that had stopped already. She knew that he wanted to get to Justin as quickly as possible, and that little things like traffic weren't going to stop him.

But he reluctantly kept his foot on the brake as he gave her a small glance, the smallest hint of a smile lingering on his lips.

"Glad to hear you're not intimidated by the big, bad, Vanessa Williams," he said, sounding amused. "Next time the two of you get into a catfight, you can rest assured I'll step aside and let you take her on yourself."

This brought the smallest of a smirk to her lips, and she managed to wink at him, her voice sounding more confident than it had all day.

"You might not wanna let me at her at all, actually," she said, only half joking. "I've had a long time to build up my hatred for her. It's been a long two weeks without Justin around. You might be interested in pulling me away from her before I get too out of hand."

Derek's eyes suddenly narrowed, and for a moment, she thought that he was angry with her for being so openly violent about Vanessa. Quickly, she felt the slightest tremor of guilt course through her. Not for Vanessa- she hated that woman with a passion, and would never allow a smidge of guilt to burden her mind, over her. No, her guilt was for trash-talking someone that Derek quite obviously still cared about.

But a moment later, she caught onto the fact that his anger was not focused on her. No, the bittersweet look in his eyes went further than a mere grudge between the two women. The look in his eyes signalled real anger, the kind that she knew could not be sparked from something so insignificant.

"Letting you have a go at her doesn't sound like a bad idea, after what she's done," he said, repressed anger shining through in his voice. "How I ever felt anything for that horrible woman, I'll never know. If it weren't for the fact you'd get arrested, I'd lock the two of you in a room and let you take a good few swings at her."

She cringed at the bitterness in his voice, and he must have sensed this, for he looked over, his eyes a bit softer as he squeezed her hand. The car rolled forwards again as the light switched to green, and he shook his head at her, a small smile on his lips.

"I wouldn't chance it," he said, sensing her hesitation. "Not that I care what happens to Vanessa, but what would I do if you wound up in a jail cell, because of it? That would involve a whole lot of living without you, and I don't like that idea." He paused, his eyes on the road as he brought their entwined hands closer to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand swiftly, sending a tingle shivering up her arm. She noticed the tiny smile on his face, and she recognized happiness, even through his worry. She realized how happy he must be that he had technically already won her back.

"Like I said, not worth it."

She sighed as she settled back down against her seat, her eyes focused on the road ahead of them, their entwined hands resting on Derek's knee. The comfort they felt around one another... it was so natural, it was like breathing. There was no thinking when it was just the two of them. The perfect words seemed to be exchanged between them, even if it felt like hell coming up with something to say, sometimes. Their hands would always find each other at the right moments, when one of them needed comfort more than anything else. It was all so new to her, and yet so familiar, that she felt like there had never been a period of time in which she had lived without it- without him.

"You're still avoiding my question," she finally noted, shaking her head. "I need a distraction, so I'm not focused on where we're going. Just tell me what Vanessa's been saying about me this time. Really, I'm not worried. Humour me."

He chewed on his lower lip for a moment, clearly annoyed that she had remembered what he had been in the process of telling her. She knew then that teasing her had just been a way to distract her, and she rolled her eyes, waiting for his answer. She chose not to speak, knowing that he would probably comment on whatever she said, and further delay the inevitable. She wanted answers, and if keeping quiet would get him to answer her, then that was exactly what she would do.

Derek seemed to realize that she was not willing to negotiate anymore, and that she had him completely cornered. Whether or not this annoyed them, she didn't know, though she had her suspicions. Nonetheless, a moment later, the hesitance had vanished from his eyes, and he was staring straight ahead, his eyes narrowed as he spoke up.

"She's got everyone believing that you've got Justin hidden," he admitted, his voice tense with anger. "She had her bodygaurd on there talking about how you'd been trying to sneak into the wedding, about how you punched him in the face, and then had the media swarm him-"

If she was not so tangled up in the first part of his story, she might've smiled at that last part. She didn't notice that he had paused, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, as though he was trying to see whether or not she would explain that one. When she didn't say a word, merely stared straight forward with slightly shocked eyes, he sighed, continuing.

"Anyways, she's got Riley on there with her, telling everyone that this is just another attempt to get me away from the wedding, and that you're making the whole thing up" he said, trying to ignore her obvious shock.

"As for the rest... well, I could be wrong on this, because Jake wasn't completely certain himself, but... well, he thinks that Vanessa's been getting her... her _people_ to call in false tips to the cops, about where Justin is, to confuse them. I guess she really believes you're doing this to get my attention, because I can't honestly see her doing that if Justin was actually missing."

Casey was completely sickened by the last part, and she felt every bit of colour drain from her face as she turned her head, her eyes filled with hatred. Derek had to keep his eyes on the road, but she noticed that his grip on both the steering wheel, and her hand, seemed to tighten as he fell silent, waiting for her to say something.

"She's getting them to do _what_?" she cried, and she could hear the murderous edge to her voice. She saw Derek cringe, and- in all honesty, she felt like cringing herself. Vanessa was pure evil, she knew that. Who was Derek to say that she wouldn't mislead the cops, if Justin was really missing? Of course she would do that! This was Vanessa. The woman had no limits, and she most certainly didn't give a damn if Justin Venturi lived to see another day.

"Are you absolutely insane?" she cried, suddenly annoyed with him for being so trusting of the woman who had done so much to sabotage his family. "Of course Vanessa would do something like that! The woman's pure evil, Derek. I can't believe you're sitting there and defending her, after all she's done to me... to us!"

He immediately tensed, and she watched as he shook his head, his brown hair falling around his eyes in messy patterns. There was worry etched clearly into his features, and he squeezed her hand, trying his best to assure her that she was wrong.

"I'm not defending her, babe, I swear," he said, and the smooth tone of his voice was enough to make her believe him. Who was she to deny such a soothing voice, after all? She felt herself relaxing into her seat as Derek brought his lips to the back of her hand again, never taking his eyes off the road.

"I just really don't think this is about Justin to her, at all," he said, shrugging. "For once, I don't even think it's about making you look bad. I'm sure that's a bonus, for her, but I don't think that's why she's doing this."

Casey's eyes focused on his face, and after realizing that he had her attention, he went on, his voice surprisingly steady as they began to approach the bridge, rolling rather slowly along the lines of traffic.

"I think she's trying whatever she can to make sure Justin's disappearance isn't the main thing everyone's seeing on the news," she said, shrugging. "If that gets out there, she'll be the one facing the slander, for having a six year old boy with autism taken away from his mother. Can you just imagine what people would think, if Justin were to turn up dead, and she was the one who had kick-started his enrollment in the centre in the first place?"

Casey's stomach had turned, and she closed her eyes, squeezing his hand very tightly. She felt like she could be sick then and there, and he immediuately rushed to comfort her.

"I'm not saying that's going to happen, Case- not at all," he assured her, and she managed to keep herself concious by monitoring her breathing very carefully. She breathed in slowly through her mouth, and out through her nose, trying not to concentrate on his choice of words. She tried to remind herself that he hadn't meant anything by it, and that they were going to get him back, but a part of her still felt sick with the memory of his words.

_'If Justin were to turn up dead...'_

She shuddered away from the thought, and Derek- sensing her discomfort- rushed on.

"I think she's just trying to eliminate any chances of you gaining public sympathy," she said, shrugging. "If she comes on television, publically bashing you for trying to crash her wedding, and for punching her bodygaurd, people are going to automatically focus on that. Sure, a few people might see through the story, but the rest will probably believe what she's saying, and figure you're staging all of this in some crazy attempt to get me back."

Casey grimaced, opening her eyes as they turned onto the bridge. Her voice was surprisingly bitter when she spoke up, to a point that she knew Derek probably regretted telling her anything in the first place.

"Thanks Derek," she said, her voice sarcastic and cold. "That's really reassuring."

He hesitated, wanting to say something in his own defense, but before he could utter a word, she had spotted the flashing lights up ahead, belonging to several emergency vehicles that had parked along the far left side of the bridge. Among the vehicles were police cars, and an ambulance, and a rescue truck. She could've sworn that she saw a few flashes, and she was certain that the media must have caught onto what was going on, but she didn't really care about them, at this point. Maybe if the media were in on this, everyone would see that Vanessa was wrong, and Justin really had gone missing of his own accord.

Squinting even further, she saw that the police had closed off two out of the five lanes, meaning that traffic going East bound only had access to one lane. She hadn't really noticed before, but she supposed that she hadn't really seen any cars in those two lanes, when they'd turned onto the bridge. She guessed that they had this closed off to prevent any cars from passing by, and to keep people back a fair distance.

And there were definitely people crowding the situation, right about now. People were slowing down as they drove by, only passing on when one of the traffic control officers leaned down to their windows to tell them that they couldn't hold up traffic- that it was already congested enough with only three lanes in operation.

People had evidently walked, though, though she would never chance walking along such a busy stretch of traffic, and there was a good crowd of people back about thirty feet from all the commotion, staring up... up at the concrete beams that expanded high above the bridge, at a good forty feet, at least. Casey cringed at the thought of falling off the bridge alone, without the beams. It was definitely a good sixty feet, and she knew that- once you hit the pavement below- no cars would be able to stop in time to avoid hitting you.

"Derek, look," she breathed out, surprised at the shock in her voice. She hadn't really been all that confident in this plan, something she only realized now. She was surprised to see the trucks and people swarming the bridge, and she knew immediately that the slight tremor of relief that she felt was only for the fact that this meant Justin had been located. He wasn't wandering downtown Toronto, he wasn't lying injured on the side of the road somewhere, he hadn't been kidnapped.

But as she took a second look at the beams that everyone was staring at, she felt her heart skip a beat... two beats, then a third.

They were staring at Justin, who had somehow managed to climb a good twenty-five feet up onto the beams, out of the reach of anyone on the ground. It was easy to see how he would be attracted to them- they were concrete, and she supposed that she had used the rungs on them as some sort of ladder. It looked quite easy to climb, and Justin would've immediately been reminded of the jungle gym back at the park, if he were to take a glance at it.

He was hovering a good thirty feet above the lanes of traffic, accounting for the distance between the pavement, and the beginning of the beams. Casey supposed that this put him at a good ninety feet above the ground below the bridge, something that was absolutely terrifying to her. He seemed like he had only gotten so far, before the fear had finally kicked in, or it had gotten too cold for his liking. It was awfully windy up here, and she knew that the higher he got- the colder it would've felt against his skin. He was dressed in only a black and red hoodie-type sweater, and his blue jeans, and she knew that he was probably cold, up there. He was clinging helplessly to the beam, and even from here, she could see that he was crying.

She felt her heart wrench for her son, and she realized now why he had stopped. It probably wasn't because of the cold. She sensed that he had gotten a glimpse at how far above the ground he was, and had freaked. She knew that, when Justin felt he was too high up for his own liking, he was absolutely petrified. He would stop dead in his tracks, and wouldn't move an inch either way until someone helped him down.

Sadly, this was a bit trickier than the jungle gym.

"Oh my God, oh my _God_," she was suddenly mumbling, and how it happened, she didn't know- but her hand was suddenly out of Derek's. She was pressing both of her hands against her face as Derek came screeching to a stop at the end of the police line, his eyes fixed on the same thing that Casey had been looking at. He didn't say a word, but he shut the engine off, and turned to Casey, grabbing ahold of her wrist gently in his hand.

Always the cool-headed one, he tried his best to coax her hands away from her face, but he was failing horribly. She was crying into her hands, though she wasn't sure why, and she could feel her entire body shaking with fear and panic. The sight of her son up there, so vulnerable to any type of injury, so close to falling...

"Casey," Derek was saying, and she could hear the masked concern in his voice. "Casey, this isn't helping. We need to get out there and help them, and I'm definitely not leaving you in the car when you're like this. Knowing you, you'll pass out."

"He's... he's s-so high up," she murmered, her hands still against her face. Her breathing was heavy as she tried her best to stop her tears, and focus on the problem at hand. Derek was absolutely right, for once. Now wasn't the time to be crying. That was her son up there, and she knew that- if she wanted him back, which she did- she was going to have to be stronger than this. She had to stop crying, and fake a brave front, for the sake of Derek, and Justin. They both would like her to be strong, for- for them, and only for them- she could do it.

She pulled her hands away from her face, and used the sleeves of the hoodie that was currently keeping her warm to wipe away her tears. She must look like a total mess right now, and she knew it- but none of that would matter when she had her little boy in her arms again. She hadn't held him in two weeks, and she knew that he wouldn't care what she looked like, just as Derek didn't. They both loved her, and- to them- it didn't matter that she was a mess.

"You're right," she said, her voice still wavering slightly, and she fought to keep the tears back as she sniffed, nodding her head. "I can stay brave, for Justin's sake. We need to get out there and make sure that everything that can be done, is done."

He was slightly surprised by how quickly she had surrendered, but a small smile surfaced on his lips, and he leaned across the seats, pressing his lips to her forehead as he cupped her cheek gently in his hand. The sheer emotion of it was amazing to her, and he nodded at her as he pulled back, drawing in a deep breath.

"I'm proud of you, Case," he said, as he withdrew the keys from the ignition, and stowed them safely in his pocket. Without another word, he had hopped out of her car, and he stood in front of the car, waiting for her. She only remained seated for a brief moment, long enough to acknowledge what he had just said to her, before she was unhinging her seatbelt- pushing the strap away and swinging her door open.

She bounded towards him, quickly taking the hand that he was holding out to her, and they scooted through the crowd, towards the police line that had been set up, to keep people from getting too close. People complained as Derek and Casey shoved past, but the anger quickly turned to slight excitement and shock as they acknowledged who had just arrived on the scene of the incident. It was obvious that everyone was just dying to get a glimpse at the most publicized couple in Toronto, but neither Derek or Casey spared a single one of them a glance as Derek ducked under the police line, and then held the tape up as he guided Casey through, behind him.

Just as he had released the tape from his hands, an officer shook his head, holding up a hand to stop him. He was tall, well muscled with black hair, and a round face. He was tan, something that stood out against the baby blue colour of his uniform. Nonetheless, she didn't pay much attention to his appearance as she recognized that he was trying to stop them from getting to Justin. Casey found this ridiculous; they knew Derek was directly involved, and they knew Casey was the kid's mother. It would be a complete lie if he were to say otherwise.

But nonetheless, the man nodded towards the line, as though he had no idea who these two were.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to wait behind the line, like everyone else," he said, his voice showing no hint of humour. He stared at Derek with serious eyes, something that was only met with a bitter laugh, on Derek's part.

"Yeah right, bud," he said, shaking his head as he ensured that Casey was safely behind him, his hand still locked with hers. He nodded towards the beams, frowning. "That's my kid up there, and I have every right in the world to be as close to him as I wanna be. No burly-looking police officer is gonna stop me, either."

The man looked slightly offended, and Casey took the brief moment of silence to squint up at the beam. It was pitch black out now, but the combination of streetlights, and the lights from the emergency vehicles, lit up the sky, and she could see red, blue, and orange lights flashing across her son's tear-streaked face. Justin was looking down at the crowd below, his tiny arms wrapped around the nearest beam. He looked absolutely terrified, and that was all it took for Casey to break away from Derek, and push past the police officer, panic leaping into her throat.

"Justin!" she called out, her voice desperate as she made a run for the beams. She saw her son's gaze turn in recognition to his name, and as his eyes fell on his mother, she saw the tiniest hint of hope flicker across his so-distant face.

"Mommy!" he called out, a mixture of excitement, and terror. "Stuck!"

A sob made it's way to Casey's throat, and she fought it back as she watched her son wriggling impatiently, obviously overwhelmed with all of the people below him, and the excitement of seeing his mother again. In one brief moment, he'd removed one foot from the rung he was standing on, and tried to reposition himself on the next one- no doubt in an attempt to get back to his mother- but the gap seemed too far down, and he slipped, his hands coming loose from the concrete wall that was supporting him.

Casey watched as he fell, and she heard the quick gasps that surfaced around the group. Time seemed to come to a standstill as she watched Justin's face cloud over with terror, and she was unaware of the fact that she had started running again, towards the concrete beams. It was only when Justin managed to secure his feet on the next beam that her heart started beating again, and she managed to draw in a much needed breath, however shaky it may have been.

She was pretty sure that this was the closest thing to a heart attack she'd ever endure, and she wasn't too eager to revisit this feeling again.

She barely had time to feel relieved, or acknowledge the murmerings of the crowd behind her, when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she felt herself being pushed backwards, slightly. The officer who had attempted to keep her back from the beams had touched her shoulder a little more roughly than intended, and she felt herself stumbling backwards. A tiny gasp escaped her lips, and she fully expected to feel her body hit the pavement, but she was pleasantly surprised when she felt warm arms wrap around her waist, and pull her back up. She instantly felt the relief of the stability she felt, but the arms did not move from her waist as Derek spoke up, his voice murderous.

"Hey- you don't touch her, got it?" he questioned, sounding like he could kill the officer who had pushed her, accidental or not. The man's gaze was embarassed and a little bit concerned as Derek shook his head, holding Casey closer to his chest as she shook, still freaked out by the sight of Justin slipping, like that.

She watched as the officer shook his head, his face red as he struggled for words against someone who was so obviously willing to fight against him.

"Sir, I was only trying to-"

"_No,_" Derek snapped, and the hatred in his voice was so strong, that even Casey feared him. "Maybe you didn't hear me. I said you _don't touch her_. You don't _ever_ touch her, got it, pal?"

The man didn't respond. He fixed Derek with a curious look, as though he was unsure whether or not retaliating would be in his best interests.

He must have decided that he enjoyed the use of all of his limbs, for he decided not to fight against Derek. He merely nodded towards the line again, his eyes cold and unmoving.

"Behind the line," he repeated, as though nothing had just happened, between them. "I don't care who you are. It's a safety regulation."

Behind Casey's back, Derek's eyes narrowed, and she felt him shake his head, his entire body tense against hers.

"Safety regulation my ass," he murmered, and at that precise moment, he spotted his brother, slipping under the safety line about ten feet away, already being approached by a police officer. Edwin managed to dodge away from the man, and he made his way towards Derek, giving his older brother an obedient nod.

"How can I help?" he asked, as another officer strode towards him, clearly offended by the rule-breakers.

Casey suddenly felt Derek's arms unwrap from her waist, and she found him placing a hand on the small of her back, giving her a gentle push towards Edwin. Her younger stepbrother caught her wrist, his grip strong and tight, as though he was well aware of the fact that Casey was slippery- she could break away faster than anyone could catch her, most times.

"Watch her," Derek said, his voice trusting, something that surprised Casey. Derek rarely trusted anyone else to watch over her, so for him to pass her over to Edwin so easily... well, that was a sign of pure respect.

Casey didn't say a word as Edwin nodded, never releasing his hold on Casey's wrist.

"What are you gonna do?" he asked his older brother, sounding curious. "You got a plan?"

Derek looked up, cringing at the sight of his son, hovering a good thirty feet above him. He quickly looked away, his gaze settling on his younger brother once again. He nodded, sighing as he took a step backwards, towards the beams.

"Yeah, I'm gonna get my son out of there," he said, and his eyes flickered to the officials standing around the beams, clearly contemplating the best way to get Justin down. He observed the ladder that they were unloading from the rescue truck, and he snorted. Such a ladder would never be long enough to reach Justin.

"Clearly, nobody here is very helpful."

Without another word, he was off. He slipped past the officer- who had made a grab for his sleeve- and before anyone could argue, he had hopped up onto the concrete wall of the bridge, the air acting as the only barrier between the ground- sixty feet below him- and his body.

Casey felt panic shoot through her, and she shook her head, taking a subconcious step forwards. Justin's life was already at such an extreme risk; how could she allow Derek to risk his life, as well? He could leave it to the officials. They could do this just as well- if not better- than he could. She couldn't risk losing the both of them. Without those two in her life, nothing would matter to her. How could she just stand here, and let him climb higher and higher, towards what could possibly be his own death?

"Derek," she choked out, but Edwin's grip stopped her, and he hauled her back, his voice soothing her as he kept ahold of her, unwilling to break his word to his brother.

"He's a big boy, Case," he said, his voice calming beside her. "He knows what he's doing."

She watched anxiously as the rescue officers continued to set up the ladder, while the other officers yelled at Derek to come down, that this was unsafe. He was already a good fifteen feet into the air by the time the crowd recognized who was scaling the wall, and she could hear the faint murmers behind her and her stepbrother, of people commenting on his actions. She heard words like 'foolish', 'brave', and 'risky' floating through the air, but she tuned out the musings as she kept her eyes on Derek, eager to ensure his safety. He seemed oblivious to the fact that he was putting himself in so much danger, and that bothered Casey. All around them, people- the media, she assumed- were snapping pictures, and she felt her worry increasing. Could the flashes distract him from the task at hand?

A safety official was climbing the ladder now, which- as Derek had predicted- fell a few feet short of Justin's location. Nonetheless, she suspected that, if Derek could reach Justin first, he would be able to hand him off to someone down below, quite easily. As long as he could make it that far, maybe this would work. Maybe both of her boys would get out of this okay.

She watched as Derek climbed the last rung to his son, and within a moment, Justin's arms were around his father's neck, his terror-filled face buried into Derek's shoulder. She watched uneasily at the extra effort it took for Derek to hold onto the beams, while he secured his son with his other arm. Justin's tiny legs were around his waist, and she saw how unstable Derek clearly was. He had one foot on the rung below the other, and he was clutching the concrete desperately as he whispered something to Justin, no doubt to comfort him.

The worker on the ladder called out to Derek then, and the entire crowd fell silent as they watched, with baited breath, as Derek took a shaky step onto the rung beneath him, clutching Justin to his chest desperately. It was obvious in his actions which task was more important to him. Anyone watching could see that his grip on his son was more determined than his stab at his own safety. Casey wasn't sure how she could possibly feel about this, but she tried not to think about it as Derek whispered something else to Justin- something that caused the boy to ease away from Derek's body slightly, and allow the officer's arms to wrap around him as tightly as possible. Casey wondered briefly why there was no safety net set up, why falling was such a danger at all. Shouldn't they have set up something like that on both ends of the bridge, just in case?

It occured to her that the officials hadn't seemed to have arrived much longer before them, and she guessed that a safety net had probably been in the workings, though it would not be necesarry, in just a few short moments. Nonetheless, nothing of the sorts was there for support now, and that worried her.

Justin was pinned between the officer, and his father, now. His arms were the only thing still attatched to his father, and he seemed reluctant to let go. Casey knew that the look in his eyes must be fear, and she waited, her breathing unsteady as she watched Derek offer Justin a shaky smile, nodding towards the man on the ladder. She saw him speak to his son, and- even in the distance- she could pick out the words by the way his mouth moved.

_'It's okay.'_

She felt a sharp pain somewhere deep inside, and she frowned, squirming uncomfortably. Something wasn't right. Justin was so obviously safe now; his arms were untangling from his father's neck, and she heard the cheers of the people around her as the officer on the ladder held Justin securely, and began to make his way down the ladder. It was gauraunteed now; her son was perfectly safe. Justin wasn't going to fall. He was okay.

Did nobody around her feel the anxiety that she felt? Why were they all cheering? Hell, even Edwin had a grin on his face as he watched Justin get closer and closer to the ground. Twenty feet- eighteen, sixteen...

But her eyes flickered back to Derek, and the nausea swept through her again. She saw how unstable he was. Nobody but her seemed to have noticed how far he'd had to lean forwards, to pass off his son to safety. Everyone was too focused on Justin's easy retreat to the ground, that they didn't notice how much trouble Derek was having to keep a hold on the beam, to straighten himself back up. He was still watching Justin, to ensure that his son made it all the way to safety, but Casey's eyes were on Derek, the whole time. Justin was going to be fine; why wouldn't he move? She knew he was stubborn, but it was obvious that Justin was going to make it to the ground. He was only ten feet away now.

The officer's feet hit the ground with a gentle thud, and the cheers around her only escalated as she saw a worker from the ambulance rush over to Justin- no doubt to make sure that he was free of any physical injury. She might've done the same, and in fact, all she wanted to do was run over to her son, and scoop him up into her arms. She had missed the feeling of holding him to her, over the past few weeks. She needed that feeling.

But all thoughts of running towards her son evaporated as she watched Derek give a sigh of relief, realizing that his son was safe. She felt her breathing hitch as he turned, and, as he did so, his own stable foot slipped, and she saw him loose his balance entirely.

His fall was so much quicker than Justin's. When Justin had slipped, it had seemed like time was moving at half speed. She had been sure that someone had slowed down every clock in the universe, to match that of her ever-declining heartrate.

But, unlike Justin's fall, Derek's seemed to happen so much quicker. She heard gasps around her, but she was sure that- by the time anyone caught on- he would've hit the ground, for it all happened so quickly. Most of the crowd had been focused on the six year old boy who had just been rescued, not the twenty-five year old man who had just displayed an ability to scale the wall. She supposed no one had worried about _him_ falling. Not the hero, not the man who had just shown such courage, who had just taken such a risk.

His name left her lips in a strangled cry, and even Edwin wasn't strong enough to hold her in his grasp as she broke away from him, her feet pounding against the pavement as she raced towards him- her body going so fast, racing against time... and yet nowhere near fast enough.

And she knew before she even got anywhere near the concrete, before he had even come within five feet of the ground, that she could do nothing. Derek had given up everything to save her life- in the sense that her entire world revolved around her son, and she knew that she could do nothing in return, to save Derek. She was powerless. She was weak, and she was nowhere near quick enough to reach him in time. Even so, what could she do? Nothing she did could stop the inevitable pain he would feel, when he fell.

And she knew then, she was too late. Derek had just given everything he had to save her life, and there was nothing she could to save his. She remembered his final words, the one's he had clearly whispered to his son, only moments before his fall.

_'It's okay.'_

But how could anything be okay, in a world where you had just lost everything? How could any true happiness exist, when your heart felt pain such as this?

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**Um... hate me? Sorry! Review. **

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	29. Life Without Derek

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Life Without Derek**

Casey had lost all sense of measured time after about six hours in the waiting room, something that she was grateful for. Sure, it was nice to know how long you had been somewhere, but the longer Casey sat around- waiting- the more anxious she felt. It was almost soothing, to lose track of how much time had passed since those last few moments on the bridge, before she'd climbed into the ambulance behind the stretcher.

She'd left Edwin with instructions to watch over Justin for her, and for him to make sure that Justin was okay, physically and emotionally. She felt horrible for leaving her son to his uncle, after he had just been through such a traumatic experience, and furthermore, after two weeks of seperation from her, but she knew where she had to be. It came down to a matter of what she needed more, right now. She knew that Justin would probably be very upset with her for taking off so quickly, and hell, she felt horrible herself. She felt like the world's most selfish person for choosing Derek over her son, but she knew in her heart that she had to be with Derek, for this. She needed to be in that hospital, somewhere relatively close to him, somewhere where she could just be _near_ him. She would do more damage to Justin in the long run, if she were to choose to stay with him. She knew that she would be unable to remain calm, and that her emotions would get the better of her. And that was something that she felt Justin didn't need to see.

To say the least, her only thoughts had been focused on making sure she was there, when the doctors had news to bring to the family. If he was in any grave danger, she wanted to be the first one to be informed. She had wanted to be kept up to date about every single aspect of Derek's conditon, no matter how bad it was.

Though she didn't know the exact time, she suspected that it was somewhere around two o'clock in the morning when the small white door of the waiting room opened up, and in walked Vanessa- looking just as annoyingly stunning as usual. Casey could immediately tell that Vanessa hadn't shed a tear for her so-called lover's situation, for her makeup was fixed too perfectly to have been touched by tears. Her hair fell in gorgeous ringlets around her shoulders, the same way it had been styled for the wedding today, but she had changed into her light blue jeans, and a white, low-cut tank top underneath her black and grey jacket. Her jewellery stood out- the necklace against her chest catching Casey's eye immediately- and she suspected that Vanessa had probably just spent a good two hours preparing herself to come here. If someone didn't know any better, they would think that Vanessa was going to a party, not to a hospital. Next to Casey, who displayed every sign of true distress, she looked like a goddess.

But looks would never get her anywhere with Casey, and she found herself rising to her feet, her legs shaking as her body struggled to remain stable. It was obvious that she was barely strong enough to hold herself together right now, and she was sure that this must show in her every feature. She knew that there was no way she could mask the pain and frustration in her eyes as she glared at Vanessa, disgust written plainly across her features.

"Where the hell have you _been_?" she snapped, grateful for the fact that she had been moved to a private waiting room; she didn't want anyone else overhearing this conversation.

Vanessa caught sight of Casey, and a tiny smirk formed on her lips as she saw that Casey was a complete and total mess. Casey watched as the woman's eyes lingered on the oversized hoodie that enveloped her enemy, at her tear-stained cheeks, at the obvious mess that was her hair. Casey knew that she was probably the most unattractive person in this hospital right now, but to be honest, she couldn't give a damn. Derek had found her attractive, and his opinion of her was the only one that counted.

Vanessa was too amused by Casey's appearance to even bother answering, and Casey's glare grew even more menacing as she took a shaky step towards Vanessa, trying her best to look confident. She knew that, if her enemy were to sense her uncertainty, the control between them would shift instantly. Vanessa thrived off of other people's weakness, and Casey knew that the tiniest flicker of fear in her eyes would only encourage Vanessa more than she needed to be.

"Derek's been in hospital since nine o'clock last night, and you only decide to show your face _now_?" she cried, surprised when her voice sounded convincingly strong, and frighteningly angry. "God, Vanessa- do you even love Derek at all? Aren't you at all concerned about whether or not he's okay?"

She was furious with the woman who had once had the guts to call herself Derek's fiancee. Vanessa had claimed to love Derek; she had claimed that Derek was the only guy that she would ever want to be with. Casey knew that, even if Vanessa did love Derek, it would never be to the extent that she did, herself. What she felt for Derek could not be mirrored, she was well aware of that, and this incident tonight only raised her suspicions that Vanessa felt nothing for Derek at all- that he had been nothing more than a pawn in Vanessa's silly little game. It really bothered Casey that someone Derek had trusted, someone he had thought loved him, hadn't been there for him at a time when he needed support. To Casey, that was downright disrespectful. She had left her own son, who she hadn't seen in two weeks, to come and be by Derek's side through everything, and Vanessa couldn't so much as put down a makeup brush to come see if the man that she apparantly 'loved' was okay? That wasn't right; not at all.

"I've been busy," Vanessa claimed, shrugging her shoulders as she adjusted her purse against her arm. "You know, people tend to hound you with questions when your fiance doesn't show up to his own wedding. I've been talking to the media all day, not to mention answering the dozens of calls from guests who want to know why everything was called off. It was pretty rude of Derek to just blow everything off like that. A bit of advance notice would've been nice."

Casey stood there for a moment, her shocked eyes fixed on Vanessa. She wasn't sure why this was such a shock to her; Vanessa had always been cruel and uncaring- she knew that. So why was it that she was so taken aback by this situation? She couldn't believe that she had actually been expecting something more from Vanessa Williams, but it occured to her that maybe she had been. Maybe she'd had a shred of faith left in the woman who had so carefully picked apart her life, by the woman who had single-handedly detroyed everything she'd worked so hard to achieve. She wasn't sure why any part of her would believe decency in Vanessa, but she knew now that those hopes had been absolutely pointless. Vanessa only cared about herself, and her precious reputation, and that clearly wasn't about to change.

She gave a bitter laugh, her arms folding across her chest as she felt a newfound sense of power wash over her. She suddenly felt the need to protect Derek, to stand up for him, when he couldn't do it for himself. He wasn't about to let this descendant of Satan walk all over him, and act like he was the criminal in all of this. He'd done nothing wrong. Admittedly, he should have given Vanessa some advance warning that he wouldn't be showing up to the wedding, but in a sense, she had deserved it. If she hadn't of pushed him so hard, there wouldn't have been a wedding at all. This had never been something that he wanted; it had always been about her.

"I can't believe you're going to stand there and criticize Derek for ruining _your _plans," she said, her voice laced with ice. "What about everything you've done to _my_ life, Vanessa? Everything you've done to Derek's life?"

Vanessa hadn't looked surprised when Casey had dragged herself into the equation. Her eyes hadn't changed in the slightest, and Casey knew that Vanessa had almost been expecting that sort of comment, from her. But the moment she had mentioned Derek, the woman had taken on a slightly offended expression, as though she honestly didn't see how her actions had affected Derek in the slightest. To be honest, this wasn't a surprise to Casey. Vanessa probably didn't realize how her actions had been affecting Derek's life, because she was so concentrated on ruining Casey's. Maybe hurting Derek had never been in the gameplan for her, but it had happened, and Casey felt no shame in admitting it.

Sure enough, Vanessa spoke up, rolling her eyes as though she thought Casey was being absolutely ridiculous.

"Oh please," she said, her voice hinting at confusion. "What did I do to Derek that was so wrong? Yeah, I can admit that I probably screwed your life up a bit, but that was intentional. Besides, it was your own fault for coming around and messing with my fiance. Hurting you was completely planned, but I never did anything bad to him. I don't even understand where you'd get that idea from."

Casey snorted, rolling her eyes as she took a step towards Vanessa, surprised at how easily she was staying calm, here. She wasn't used to feeling strong, when facing Vanessa, but she did. She felt like- for once, she was the one calling all the shots, she was the one who was telling _Vanessa_ how things were supposed to go. For once, it wasn't the other way around.

"I believe you when you say that you never meant to hurt Derek," she started, nodding her head as she spoke the truth, not wanting to be a hypocrite, for lying. "I really do think that you care about him enough not to intentionally hurt him. But sometimes people do things they don't mean to do, and this was one of those times."

Vanessa blinked at Casey, not saying a word. It was obvious that she still hadn't caught on, and Casey sighed, continuing.

"You've been making his life hell, Vanessa," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "I mean, when me and Derek started hanging out a couple of months ago, it was absolutely innocent. Believe me when I say that neither one of us had a single intention on doing anything wrong, with each other. I completely understood and respected the fact that he was with you, and doing anything with him would be wrong. In fact, I didn't even want anything more with him, at the time."

"At the time," Vanessa interrupted, her eyes suddenly cold, and knowing. "So you're admitting it, then. You _do _want him, now."

Casey considered lying, but she knew that this would be pointless. Vanessa knew how Derek felt about Casey, that much was obvious. She probably didn't know that Derek had kissed Casey, a few days before, and she may not even know that Casey knew about Derek's feelings. But nonetheless, she herself knew that Derek still felt something for Casey, and because of that, Casey knew that it would be okay to admit everything to Vanessa. She knew that blowing off the wedding was Derek's way of blowing off Vanessa, and she knew that he wouldn't be angry with her for telling the truth. She wouldn't state anything final- she would leave the finalizations up to him, but she knew that he wanted the exact same thing that she wanted- for them to be together.

"Yes, I can admit that I'm still in love with Derek," Casey said, shrugging her shoulders casually. "I could lie, but I know you know better, by now. I'm in love with him, and I'm not afraid to admit that to you."

For one, brief moment, Vanessa's eyes seemed to fill with something that Casey couldn't describe. It wasn't jealousy, though that would've been the first emotion Casey would suspect. It wasn't even her second best guess- fear, or panic. Those were all emotions that would fit into some logical idea of competition, between the two of them. She would understand, if Vanessa felt jealousy or panic. Despite the fact that Vanessa was twenty times more gorgeous than Casey, something that she could admit to, and despite the fact that she seemingly had the perfect life, she knew that there was no competition. Vanessa may be beautiful, and she may have one hell of a public profile, but when it came down to who meant more to Derek... there was no competition. The way he looked at Vanessa couldn't even compare to the look of absolute amazement in his eyes when he looked at Casey, as though he had never gotten over the sight of seeing her there, right in front of him. The way he monitored his every action to ensure that it was what was best for Casey was even more convincing; before Casey, Derek had never given a damn about anyone else but himself. For him to dedicate all of his actions towards Casey's well-being... well, that was a sign of true sacrifice, for him.

And she knew then, that the look in Vanessa's eyes had nothing to do with jealousy, or fear. There was no reason for her to be frightened of Derek leaving her, because that was inevitable. The look in her eyes had been defeat, for she knew exactly what Casey knew. There was no competition between the two of them. Vanessa had everything, everything except Derek's heart. Casey owned that, and she had a feeling that they both knew it.

The look in her eyes vanished completely when she saw Casey squinting at her, as though she knew exactly what was going on in her head. She managed to re-arrange her features into an unbothered expression, and she shrugged her shoulders, folding her arms across her chest as though she wasn't annoyed or affected by Casey's words.

"It doesn't matter how you feel about him," she said, her eyes cold, but yet still slightly distracted. "You're supposed to be telling me how I've supposedly been ruining Derek's life. So come on, tell me, because I'm really curious. I honestly don't know how I hurt that man in the slightest."

Casey managed to bite back her comments about how Vanessa had been the one to bring them off-topic, and she sighed as she carried on, trying to get her thought train back under control.

"Like I said, ignore the fact that things ended up where they are today, and think back to two months ago. Me and Derek were friends, and that's all that we had any intentions on being. Derek was completely faithful to you, and I respected the fact that he was already taken. Then, he forced us together at that company dinner, and I'll tell you now- I tried to be nice to you. Sure, I resented you for having Derek, but I was willing to be civil with you."

Vanessa was hanging onto her every word now, obviously waiting to hear how she had ruined Derek's life. For once, she appeared to be genuinely clueless about what Casey was trying to tell her, and she had a feeling that Vanessa really was curious about how she had apparantly hurt Derek. Maybe she really _hadn't_ tried to hurt him.

Regardless of Vanessa's intentions, Casey sighed, shrugging her shoulders before she went on.

"You got in the way of a good friendship," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. "Derek was quite content with being with you, and having me as a friend. He was perfectly happy having the both of us in his life, but you forced him into choosing between us. All he wanted was to have both of us around, and you screwed that up for him. You made him feel horrible for even hanging out with me. Why was it ever a big deal? We weren't doing anything wrong."

Vanessa's eyes flashed with sudden anger, and she took a step towards Casey, looking more human than Casey had ever witnessed, in her.

"It was a big deal because I knew how he felt about you," she said, her voice quiet, yet filled with rage. "How do you think I've felt, listening to him talk about you, over the past two years? Even before he was with me, he was always talking about you. At first, I figured that you guys had just broken up, and that he still wasn't over it."

Casey waited, hoping that her surprise wasn't showing on her face right now. She hadn't been aware of the fact that Derek had talked about her so much, even before she had come back. She supposed that it had been stupid to assume that he had completely forgotten about her, but still. The fact that Derek had talked about her to Vanessa, even before she was in the picture again... it sent a wave of relief crashing through her system. She hadn't been sure on how much thought she had been given, before she came back, and it was a relief to know that he hadn't completely forgotten about her existance.

Vanessa must have sensed that Casey had nothing to say about this, for she went on, her voice wavering slightly with what could only be jealousy.

"Like I said, I figured you guys had just broken up, before me and him met," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "The way he talked about you, you'd think that you'd just dumped him the day before. It didn't matter what we were talking about, he'd always have a story that somehow involved you. I sat through it all, figuring that he was still torn up over you, but finally, I had to ask him what had happened. He told me all about you, and how you'd left him, and you can imagine my shock when I found out he hadn't even laid eyes on you in over five years."

She paused, and bitter laughter escaped her lips as she shook her head, her eyes fixed on Casey with what she knew must be hatred. Casey winced, but continued to listen as Vanessa spoke, a bit more quietly this time.

"I should've known then that I was falling for the wrong guy," she said, with a shrug. "Nonetheless, I let myself get involved with him. I told myself that if I involved myself in his life enough, maybe he'd forget about you. He always wondered why I pushed the wedding so hard, and why I was so attatched to him, and the truth is..."

She trailed off, and her eyes narrowed on Casey's face as she froze, apparantly unsure as to whether or not she should finish her sentence. The two of them weren't exactly the best of friends, and being so open and honest like this was sort of weird, and unsurprisingly awkward. Casey had never imagined that she would be hearing Vanessa's honest side of the story, not like it made Vanessa's character any better, in her eyes. Vanessa had no excuse for alot of the things she had done, and there were alot of things that Casey could never forgive.

Nonetheless, she tried to keep her voice free of all anger as she spoke up, her eyes fixed on Vanessa seriously.

"The truth is what, Vanessa?" she asked, hoping that she would tell her. "Just tell me. You might as well, while we're being honest."

However much the two of them hated agreeing on things, they both knew that Casey was right. The chances of them ever having an open conversation like this again were slim and none, and it was obvious that anything they wanted to say, needed to be said now. There would be no second chances, on something like this.

So Vanessa sighed, giving Casey a reluctant look. It was obvious that she didn't want to tell her anything, but her logical side got the better of her, and she spoke up again, her voice so quiet that Casey had to strain her ears to hear a word she was saying.

"The truth is that... I felt like I needed to be around him, so that he wouldn't be thinking about _you_," she said, the last word emphasized with bitterness and disgust. She shuddered, and Casey cringed as she continued, her face contorted with so much hatred, it almost stung. "I always saw the look in his eyes everytime he thought I wasn't looking, and if he thinks I never noticed all of the pictures he keeps of you, he's insane. Being away from him gave him a chance to think about you... and... I dunno, that was never something I handled well. So I forced my company on him alot, and I think it might've driven him away even more, in the long run."

She paused, taking a breath, and Casey didn't have the chance to fit a word in before she had continued with her explanation.

"I sort of figured, after a year or so, that his attention was focused on me for good," she went on, sighing. "I think he got used to the fact that I was more needy than anyone else, and I knew that he loved me. I had no idea whether or not that love was anything like what he had felt for you, but I... I hoped it was. He semeed to be more focused on me than he had been in the beginning, and I sort of learned to accept that this was as good as it got, with him."

Her eyes, which had been fixed on the floor for the duration of her little tirade, suddenly raised to Casey's face, and she cringed as she caught sight of the girl. Casey hated that she felt the tiniest hint of sympathy for her, something she had never antipated. She would never forgive her, but she rather felt that Vanessa did deserve the smallest bit of sympathy, even from her. Maybe she had read Vanessa wrong. Maybe she did care about Derek, just a little bit. Sure, it could never be anything like Casey felt for him, or she would've been at the hospital moments after the accident, but she had to feel _something,_ to be so determined to keep him. Of course, she could be wrong entirely, and the desire to keep him could be based on her own reputation, but nonetheless, she chose to believe the more humane of the options.

"You can imagine my disgust then, when you showed up," she said quietly, her voice filled with resentment once more. "I'd finally gotten his attention fixed on me, for the most part, and then he comes home and tells me he met up with _you_ at some coffee shop. I ignored it at first, hoping that this was a phase, and that you'd just breeze in and out of his life again. But once that _kid_ of yours was in the picture, I knew that you were going to be in the picture for a long time. I knew he could never turn his back on a child."

"And so you had him taken from me," Casey whispered, the words finally clicking into place for her. "You figured that... if I didn't have Justin, Derek wouldn't have to come see me anymore."

Vanessa only nodded, and Casey stared at her with wide eyes, her mouth slightly open with shock. She could barely believe this of Vanessa, but here she was, confirming it right to her face. Her two weeks without Justin had been totally unnecessary, and in return, Derek being here at all was unnecessary, also. If Vanessa hadn't been so jealous, none of this would have ever happened.

"That's low, Vanessa," she managed to get out, her eyes narrowing into slits as she shook her head. Her voice wasn't as angry as she had expected, but she carried on as though she hadn't noticed.

"Children need their parents around," she explained, still shocked. "And kids like Justin need their parents even more. Nobody knows him like me and Derek do. The people at that centre... they don't know how to look after my son properly. They have some experience with autism, sure, but they have no experience with my son. They say every child is different, and that doesn't exclude autistic kids. What works for one kid, doesn't always work with another. Because of you, and what you've done... my son almost got killed, Vanessa. And Derek..."

His name came out slightly choked, and she couldn't find the strength to finish her sentence. How could she voice the truth, when the truth was so painful to acknowledge? The very thought of never seeing that signature smirk pass across his lips... the thought of never watching his eyes light up with satisfaction when he managed to get under her skin; it was all too much to handle. She needed Derek in her life, almost as much as she needed oxygen. Hell, she rather felt that she needed Derek _more _than she needed oxygen, though she knew that this could not be true. But her entire being ached with the thought of losing the only man she had ever loved, and she knew that this was a pain that she would not be able to handle, for very long.

She tried to imagine what her life would be like in five years, as she went on without Derek, but she couldn't even come to terms with such a future. Justin would be eleven, still without a father in his life. If he remembered, which she hoped to God that he wouldn't, he would probably be at an age where he would put two and two together, and acknowledge that his father's death had been his fault, even if Casey would never think such a thing of her boy. She could imagine the nauseating guilt he would feel, when he realized that his father had been up there on those beams for him, because he had run away, and she couldn't bear the look of pain that would flash across his adorable face. The thought of anything but happiness in her son's eyes tormented her, and kept her awake at night. She could remember very clearly the way he had looked at her when the social worker had taken him away, and she knew for certain that this was not a look she wanted to witness on her son's face ever again.

And where would she be in five years, without Derek by her side? Would she have moved on, and found somebody else to be with? She couldn't imagine feeling this way about anyone else, even if she searched the globe for such a person. She knew it was a silly thought, but a part of her had always had a theory on the way she felt about Derek. She knew that love had to develop, and that her feelings for Derek had grown so strong due to years of bickering, teasing, and absence, mixed with the precious period of time when they had been together, as a couple. She knew that all relationships had to develop, and that "love at first sight" was just a theory that people entertained, to stick to the idea of a soulmate. She honestly didn't believe in love at first sight, because when she had first laid eyes on Derek, on that fateful day in the restaurant, he had been laughing at her for tripping up, and the only thing she had felt for him was annoyance. At the time, she could only see him as an annoying, self-conceited, and overconfident jock with an over-inflated ego.

Yes, love at first sight was complete and total bullshit, to Casey. She didn't believe in a word of it. But she did feel that her feelings for Derek were something that had been planted so deep inside of her, that they were now impossible to erase, or to forget. So maybe she hadn't fallen in love with him the second she'd laid eyes on him, but she knew that he was going to be in her heart forever. Her love for him was a part of her now. It was buried deep inside of her, and it would always remain with her, naturally. And she was almost certain that this was a feeling she would never be able to feel for anyone else. Because right now, she felt as though she would rather die than ever kiss anyone else. Maybe she had been spoiled with that tiny taste of true love, but the feelings were inside of her now, and she knew there was no turning back. She was in over her head, and nobody but Derek could ever make her feel as special as he did.

So then what were you supposed to do when that one true love was gone? When they gave away their life, like Derek had so carelessly done to ensure that Casey and Justin could continue to live a safe life... happy, together. Maybe he hadnt realized that they could never be truly happy without him, not now that he had touched their lives like this. But at the time, she was sure it would've made sense to him.

Vanessa, who had sensed there was something preventing Casey from finishing her sentence, rolled her eyes, the rivalry between them creeping up slowly. They had put it aside, for the duration of their little discussion, but Casey had never expected it to last. Whether they start fighting again now, or a week from now, she knew it was inevitable. There was no avoiding it forever, but she hoped that they could be civil with each other until this mess was cleared away.

"Why are you acting like he's already dead and gone, or something?" she asked, amusement in her voice as she tried her best to mask the bitterness. "You're acting like the worst has already..."

She trailed off when she saw the look of complete pain and torture on Casey's face, and as she acknowledged what this could mean, the colour drained from her own face, and her eyes widened with shock. It was a sign that she had some sort of feelings for Derek, when her lower lip trembled, and she began to shake her head, as though refusing to believe it.

"Casey," she said, for once not allowing the hatred to be the dominant emotion in her voice. "Casey tell me he's not... he can't be..."

Casey merely stared at her, unable to respond, and at that precise moment, the door opened up. Both women turned to face the doctor that had just walked in, and although Vanessa shot another quick look at Casey, she took no notice. She would let the doctors break the news to Vanessa; she didn't think she could get the words out without crying.

And so both women turned to the young man, both waiting to hear what he was going to say, about the man they were both in love with.

* * *

**So... review? Update shouldn't take too long. Let me know what you think.**


	30. A Little Help From Edwin

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Thirty: A Little Help From Edwin**

The doctor had only stuck around long enough to tell them that he had no good news for them, and that nothing had really changed since the last time he had visited. He had sensed Casey's emotional distress, and had filled Vanessa in on the basic details, knowing that the other woman was too distraught to attempt explaining Derek's situation. Vanessa hadn't handled this news much better than Casey had, though she by no means was as upset as her rival. No tears left her eyes, but she certainly was upset about it. She had stood there for five minutes, wordless, before she had excused herself, and hurried out the door again. Casey figured she'd gone to spend a few minutes alone, probably not wanting to express any emotion in front of Casey.

Casey wondered if Vanessa was as torn up about this as she was, on the inside. Could Vanessa picture her life without Derek? Was there any possible way that she felt as broken, and as shattered as Casey felt right now? Casey highly doubted that she did, for she had never felt this incomplete in her entire life. She felt like someone had stolen an entire piece of her being, of her soul. She had lived without Derek in her life for seven years, but the thought that he was still alive, that he was still out there somewhere, had been enough to keep her sane. Even then, she had not been spoiled with his presence, like she had been over the past few months. It was like she had gotten a small taste of her life with him, and now- she couldn't let go. She felt that- if Derek died, she wouldn't be able to go on. How could you keep on living when your entire life, one of your main reasons for living, had gone on without you? How did you act as if everything was okay, when your soulmate had died before you'd had a real chance to be together, again.

They told her he was in a coma. He hadn't landed on his head, but he had hit it pretty hard, once the rest of his body had hit the ground. They believed that he had a linear skull fracture, and although she wasn't entirely sure what that meant, she didn't like the sounds of it. The thought of Derek fracturing anything was torture to her, and she wanted to cry at how much pain he must be in, right now.

The head injury wasn't the only injury he had sustained, though it was certainly the most serious. His right ankle was broken, and they claimed that they would cast it, once it was ensured that he was out of the danger zone. She hadn't had to ask what they meant by that, for she knew that he wasn't off the hook yet. Death was still a very likely possibility, something that the doctor had reminded her of, during his little update. He had told her that Derek had lost alot of blood, and that they were trying to replace it, but not to get her hopes up. She had asked him what the chances of Derek making it through the night had been.

A twenty-two percent chance of survival wasn't that bad... right?

She knew she was deluding herself. She was beginning to understand the fact that she was possibly going home without Derek, at the end of all of this, though she was by no means accepting it. The very thought of having to go home to Edwin and Justin, and let them know that their brother, and father, respectively, had died... the very thought was haunting, to her. How did you tell someone you loved that they had just lost such an important person in their lives? Derek was the only brother that Edwin had, and she knew that her younger stepbrother wouldn't be taking the news easily. The brothers were so close, and she knew that Edwin would be devestated to find out that his only brother had been taken from him... and much too soon, at that.

And then... how would she handle it? She thought of what life would be like for her now- waking up alone every morning for the rest of her life, wishing that Derek's warm arms were still wrapped around her waist. Her dreams at night would be filled with haunting memories of better times, of the times that she had spent with him, before his death. She would be forever haunted by the sight of his foot slipping from that beam- by the look of shock that had spread across his handsome features. She would never be able to erase the sight of paramedics crowding around him, trying to bring him back to conciousness. The faces of the people around her would be something she would never forget, either- for she had watched their horror-struck faces as they stared at the situation with complete and total terror.

And she would never forget falling to her knees next to his seemingly lifeless form, and seeing his distant eyes focus on her, one last time. She didn't _want _to forget the way his hand had wrapped around hers, and the way he had forced the tiniest of smiles upon his weak lips.

And if there was anything she wanted to remember for the rest of her life, it would be the last four words he had whispered to her, before slipping out of conciousness entirely.

_"I love you, Casey." _

The thought of his final words, whispered so weakly into the crisp evening air, were traumatizing to her. How could she live for the rest of her life, with that as her final memory of him? Sure, she was glad that his last words had been a confession of his love to her, and she would always keep that with her. Even if Derek died here today, she would understand that he loved her totally and completely. She would never let go of that, for as long as she lived.

It was all much too painful to think about. She knew that she was doing herself no good by forcing these memories upon herself, and she knew it was best not to concentrate on a future without Derek, until she knew for sure what was going on. She could concentrate on what her life would be like if Derek were to make it out of this thing- if he were to survive. They would make such a happy family- she just knew it, and that was something that was absolutely amazing to her. Justin had never grown up with a father, just as she had never had a man around to take care of them. It would be a new experience, but definitely one she would enjoy.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when the door of the waiting room opened up, and Edwin popped his head in, peering around the small pale blue room. When his eyes landed on Casey, he managed to force out a tiny smile, and he gave her a nod, in greeting.

"Hey, Case."

Casey, who had been lying down across a row of three chairs, squinted at her younger stepbrother, unaware of how tired she had been. She felt like he had just woken her up from a very long nap, though she had not been asleep at all. Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was almost three thirty in the morning, and she found herself frowning, shaking her head at him.

"Edwin?" she questioned, pulling herself up into a sitting position. "What are you doing here?"

Edwin grinned sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders as he pushed the door open, taking a step in. Casey barely had a chance to acknowledge who he was towing behind him, until he said-

"Someone wanted to see you."

Glancing behind Edwin, she saw that Justin was glancing around nervously, his eyes wide as he clutched onto his uncle's hand fearfully. She knew that this place must be a bit frightening to him, as it was so big, but she knew that he wouldn't be worried once she was through with him. She could always comfort her son, something that she was grateful for.

A tiny gasp escaped her lips, and her eyes widened as her heart leapt into her throat. For the first time in a very long time, she felt excitement spread through her body, and the feeling was absolutely amazing. She hadn't felt this good since the last time she had gotten to actually hold onto her little boy, two weeks ago. The sight of him now, right in front of her, was more than she could handle. It was so hard to believe that nobody was going to come and snatch him away from her, anytime soon.

"Justin!" she breathed out, and when the little boy's head turned in recognition to his name, his eyes fell upon his mother. He stared at her with wide eyes, for only a moment, before he had dropped Edwin's hand, and was running towards his mother. He fell against her chest, and she caught him perfectly, her arms wrapping around his small figure. The relief that his presence brought her was immediate, and it was a concious effort not to break down and cry then and there. She hadn't realized how much she missed Justin until right now, when he was safely in her arms. It just felt so right, and she knew that this was what had been missing in her life, over the past fourteen days. She wasn't complete without her son by her side, and because of that, she knew that nobody was going to take him from her again. She would fight to the end, for Justin, before she would let anyone take him away again.

"Oh my God," she murmered, running her hand through his soft brown hair, tears welled up in her eyes. She pulled back enough to look into his eyes, and her hands gripped his shoulders protectively as she looked him up and down, as though searching for any changes, or signs of damages.

"Baby, are you okay?" she asked, not even giving him a moment to answer her. "Did anyone hurt you? Were you treated okay? You didn't get hurt, coming off that bridge, did you? Oh come _here!_"

Before the boy knew what was happening, he was in his mother's arms again, and she was hugging him. She knew that he wasn't about to complain; he had clearly missed her too. Although he didn't answer any of her questions, he didn't protest the hug that she currently had him wrapped in, and he seemed quite content staying where he was. She knew that he had definitely missed having someone who cared about him, and she was definitely planning on making up for the two weeks of seperation they had encountered.

"I'm not letting anyone take you away from me again," she whispered against his ear, a single tear slipping down her cheek. "I can promise you that."

When Justin didn't answer, she pulled back, her hands keeping him close, and she shook her head, her gaze urgent.

"Do you understand that?" she questioned, needing to know that he understood her, on this. "You're not leaving me again, okay? I'll make sure of that."

Justin only nodded, and Casey leaned forwards, pressing a kiss to his warm forehead. She used her good hand to brush a few strands of hair away from his eyes, and she wiped away the few tears that had fallen down her cheeks, giving a choked laugh.

Edwin, who had been standing awkwardly across the room for the duration of this conversation, finally took a step forward, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he cleared his throat. Casey looked up at him, only now remembering that Edwin had accompanied Justin to the hospital, and she managed to give him a very small, and yet totally grateful, smile.

"Thank you so much," she got out, shaking her head. "For watching over him last night, for bringing him here... everything."

Edwin sighed, running a tired hand through his hair as he shook his head, clearly waving off her thanks.

"It wasn't my idea to come here, actually," he admitted, and Casey only watched as he went on. "I got him to bed at around ten last night, but he only slept till one, before he was up asking if he could come see you. I kept telling him that you had alot going on right now, and that he should be in bed, but... well, the kid's stubborn. He's got to be, I guess. He's yours and Derek's son, after all."

At the mention of Derek, Casey's eyes had lowered to the floor, and she was suddenly silent. The very thought of the man she loved, lying in that hospital bed, attatched to all of those wires while medical professionals rushed to save his life... it was sickening to her. She didn't want people to have to save his life, though she was thankful they were there to do so. She didn't want him to be here in the first place. She wanted him home with her, teasing her about something or another while she pretended to be annoyed. She wanted the three of them to be sitting around her apartment, talking and laughing as her and Derek welcomed Justin back home. She wanted to fall asleep tonight in his arms, the way she probably would've done if he hadn't fallen.

Whatever she wanted, it definitely wasn't this.

Edwin, who seemed to have noticed Casey's sudden silence, frowned as he took a step forwards, his eyes suddenly filled with concern.

"Case?" he questioned, his voice wavering slightly. "Case, what's wrong? Derek's okay, isn't he? I mean... he can't be..."

"He's alive," Casey whispered, her eyes never leaving the floor. "-but just barely. He's hovering somewhere between life and death right about now, and they've told me that... that he's only got a... a..."

"He's only got a what, Case?" Edwin asked, taking a seat next to his stepsister, and glancing over at her with concern. "Come on, you can tell me."

She knew that he had every right to know his brother's condition, and that bottling everything up like this wasn't going to help anyone, in the long run. She had to be open and honest about what was going on with Derek, and because of that, she knew that she would have to tell Edwin everything she knew.

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, preparing herself to voice the truth out loud for the first time.

"They've said he's only got a twenty-two percent chance of survival," she admitted, her voice quiet with remorse, and sadness. She felt Edwin tense next to her, and she hurried on, trying to get it all out at once. "He's already gone into a coma, and they don't know if there's much of a chance he'll come out of it."

Edwin was silent, which she took as her cue to continue. Breathing in deeply, she hurried on with the rest of her explanation.

"He's got a broken ankle," she explained, cringing at her own words. "One of his wrists is severely sprained. He's got bandages all over, and one or two sets of stitches. He lost alot of blood, so they've been busy replacing that, over the past few hours. I guess the head injury is the most serious, but... it all sounds pretty bad to me."

"Jesus," Edwin muttered, shaking his head as he glared at the floor, obviously too shocked to say much else. "He doesn't deserve this at all. He's a good guy, he is. All he was trying to do was-"

"I know," Casey said quickly, not wanting Justin to piece anything together. "And you're right, he's an amazing man. He... he was really brave, to go up there and do what he did. I wish it hadn't resulted in this, though, but..."

She trailed off, biting her lip to keep from crying. She wasn't going to break down in front of Justin, she had promised herself that. And although the boy had shied away from the adults, and was now sitting on the floor, playing with a toy car that he had stored in his pocket, Casey didn't want to chance crying like that in front of him. He hated seeing his mother upset, and she knew that. He didn't deserve to have to sit through that sort of thing; not at all.

Edwin sensed her discomfort, and he moved a bit closer to her, his arm draping across her shoulder. She let her head fall back onto his own shoulder, and she closed her eyes to keep from crying. She had never been all that close with Edwin before all of this, but right now, it just felt amazing to have someone who cared about keeping her happy- to have someone that was willing to push aside his own grief to comfort her. She had never really stopped to acknowledge what a sweet guy Edwin had turned into, during the last year or two they had been living together, and she supposed that this was because she had been so busy with keeping on top of her senior year, not to mention the fact that she had her amazingly sweet boyfriend living in the same house as her. Thinking back, she realized that Edwin really had been there for her alot, though she had never properly thanked him for it. She couldn't count the times that he had played messenger for her and Derek, whenever the two of them were in a fight. Between him and Lizzie, it was always a gaurantee that Derek and Casey would be talking amongst themselves by the end of the day, and she felt as though that side of Edwin had never gone away. It was shining through right now, in the way that he was doing his best to comfort his stepsister.

"It's alright," he was saying, though he didn't sound too convinced himself. "Derek's a strong guy, Case. I mean... twenty-two... it's not such a great number, I'll admit, but Derek loves beating the odds. He'll pull through this. I know he will. He's got too much to live for to die now."

Casey sniffed, unable to say a word without breaking down into tears, and she merely listened as Edwin hesitated, and then went on.

"He called me earlier," he said quietly, feeling ashamed all of a sudden. "Before the wedding. He told me he wasn't going to be there, but for me not to tell anyone."

Casey was surprised at this; she hadn't realized that Derek had made it known to anyone that he would not be attending his own wedding. As far as she knew, and as far as he had told her, this had been a completely solo decision, something that he had not filled anyone in on. It made sense, that he would tell his brother. Edwin and Derek were close, and she knew that he would probably want someone to know that he was safe, just in case thngs got out of hand and people had assumed something had happened to him. She supposed that it was only logical that he had called Edwin.

"He wanted me to make sure that Vanessa kept her hands off you, if you got into the church," he admitted, and Casey lifted her head off of Edwin's shoulder, surprise written clearly across her features. She had found it odd, that Edwin had been the one to defend her in the church, when Vanessa had shoved her. It wasn't that she didn't think Edwin was capable of helping her out, but it had come as a bit of a shock, for him to step up like that, and stand against Vanessa.

"You mean..." she started, unsure of where she was going with that statement, but Edwin merely nodded, clearly understanding what she was going to get at, even if she didn't.

"Derek told me to watch out for you," he admitted, blushing a little bit. "I mean, I wouldn't have let her push you around anyways. You're my sister, Casey- I would've defended you either way. But really, I think he knew that Vanessa might try something against you, and... well, that boy can't handle anything happening to you. You've got no idea how much you mean to him. I know my brother can be a bit of an idiot sometimes. He says things he probably shouldn't, and I won't deny that he can be selfish, but everything he did today... he did for you. I hope you know that."

Casey bowed her head, nodding slightly as she avoided looking him in the eye. Did he think she didn't know that? Did he honestly believe that she didn't feel horrible, that Derek had put his life on the line to make sure her son came to no harm? She knew that, and it was absolutely killing her that he had sacrificed so much to ensure her happiness. As much as she knew that this was Vanessa's fault, for having Justin taken away in the first place, she partially blamed herself. She constantly referred to Justin as the most important thing in her life, and she knew that she had made it clear to Derek that finding Justin, and getting him home safely, had been her only priority. She had refused to discuss their impending relationship until her son was safe in her arms. She had made it painfully clear to Derek that Justin was the most important thing in her life, and she knew that this was a part of what had caused him to go up onto those beams, and rescue their son.

Of course, she knew that he loved their son just as much as she did. Climbing up there hadn't been completely for Casey's sake. He was Justin's father, and he would do anything to save him. She wondered if it was partially guilt, that had put him up there as well. She had always sensed that Derek felt as though he had never done enough for Justin. He hadn't gotten involved in the boy's life until two months before, and he had mentioned to Casey several times how bad he felt, that she had spent six years giving up bits and pieces of her life, so that Justin could be happy. She knew it always bothered him that she had sacrificed so much for him, while he had sacrificed absolutely nothing.

He couldn't say that anymore. He had definitely sacrificed more than enough for the child's happiness, at this point.

Scowling, she pulled herself away from Edwin, feeling slightly offended by his words. Yes, she knew that she was partially to blame for Derek's fall, but did he really have to rub it in, like that? Did he honestly think she didn't feel bad enough, already?

"I _know_ he did it for me, okay?" she questioned, her voice wavering with anger. "Do I look completely stupid to you? Do you honestly believe that's not _killing _me right now? I feel horrible about this, Edwin- and I really don't need you reminding me that his accident is my fault."

Edwin stood up at the same time as Casey did, gripping her elbow gently to turn her back towards him. She was definitely fighting back tears this time, but she knew it was a fast-losing battle. The tears were going to get the better of her, whether she liked it or not. They were stinging at the backs of her eyelids, and she knew they would escape her eyes, soon.

"Casey," Edwin said, trying his best to get her to look at him. "Come on, you know I never meant it like that. I'm not blaming you for Derek's accident, and you shouldn't be blaming yourself. I know Derek would never think of it as your fault. It was _his_ choice to go up there and save his son, not yours. You tried to stop him, remember?"

Casey was crying now, and she turned her back on Justin, who wasn't really paying that much attention anyways. The boy seemed to sense that there was adult time going on, between his uncle and his mother, and he knew better than to get in the way of that. She was relieved for this, because she felt the tears sliding easily down her face as she shook her head, her eyes red.

"I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't have felt like he had to go up there, if I hadn't of made it so clear how important it was to me," she choked out, barely able to form the words.

Edwin raised an eyebrow, his hands still gripping her elbows as he shifted closer to her, a knowing look in his eyes.

"And _was_ it important to you?" he questioned, a rhetorical question. He knew perfectly well that Justin's safety was the most important thing in Casey's life, regardless of however she chose to answer the question.

Knowing she couldn't lie to him, even if she wanted to, she nodded her head, squeezing her eyes shut tightly as she struggled to fight back more tears. She hated crying like this- it made her feel so weak and vulnerable, and that was something she absolutely despised, in herself.

Edwin's voice was more quiet this time, as he shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head at his stepsister.

"In that case, you should have no regrets," he said, his voice final, absolute. "Casey, all Derek has ever wanted is to keep you happy, but that's hard for him to do sometimes. You're such a strong and independant girl most of the time, mainly because you're used to raising Justin on your own, and that was something that's always sort of thrown Derek off track, a bit. In high school, he was always the strong one, and you just sort of followed his lead."

Casey was silent, knowing the man was right. As opinionated as she had been back in high school, she had gone along with whatever Derek said or did, in some attempt to fit in with him and his friends. She had wound up ditching alot of her strongly-held ideas, during senior year, because she had been so concentrated on making sure she was doing whatever was socially acceptable to Derek's group. He had been the one leading her, and his soft side had always been there when she was upset, and when she needed comfort.

And she knew Edwin was also correct in saying that she had grown, since then. Raising an autistic child by herself had given her a strong sense of independance. She didn't depend on other people as much anymore- she was stronger, and she hadn't realized that her newfound sense of power and stability might have thrown Derek, a little bit.

"My brother lives to keep you safe," he continued, shrugging his shoulders. "Believe me, I know that better than anyone else. He's been calling me over the past two months, and telling me how hard it is sometimes, watching you and Justin, and trying to find out where he fits into everything. He sees you as someone who has sacrificed everything you could've done with your life, for your son. You gave up med school, your life in California... basically your entire dream life, just so that little boy could have a normal childhood. You've put his needs before your own... and Derek just wanted to do the same for the both of you. He wants you to be happy."

She shook her head, the guilt still planted deep inside of her. Whatever Edwin said, she knew this was her fault. There would be no persuading her away from that one. The aching she felt in her chest had everything to do with heartbreak, and a guilty conscious, and she knew that there would be no evading that until it was decided that Derek would be okay. Her guilt would not pass until that man was healthy, again.

"There's no way we can be happy without him, Edwin," she informed him, needing him to understand her pain. "You don't get it. I mean, I know we were happy without him for such a long time, but that was different. How can I go on now, knowing what it would've been like, to have him around? Justin loves his father, Edwin, and... and I love him, too, so much."

She knew then, that Edwin had realized there would be no erasing Casey's guilt- not until his brother had woken up. The look in her eyes, and the heartbroken tone of her voice were enough to convince Edwin that his attempts to calm her were useless; Casey would not relax until Derek's fate was determined. She cared about him too much to let any amount of persuading and convincing shift her away from her unnecessary guilt. She needed to feel _something_, to prove that she hadn't gone entirely numb, and even if that something was guilt, she would take it. She just needed some sort of emotion to course through her veins, to erase the heartwrenching pain that she felt, otherwise.

Within a moment, her stepbrother was hugging her, and while she couldn't remember the last time she had ever hugged the boy, she found herself returning his hug eagerly. She was pretty sure the only time she had ever hugged him had been at his graduation party, when he was eighteen. Even then, the hug had been awkward, and she had found herself regretting it instantly. Her and Edwin had never possessed the type of relationship where hugging and emotions were normally present. They had held a mutual sort of ageement, that while they held no negative feelings towards one another, there was rarely any interaction between them. She had stayed clear of his life, and he had done the same with hers. The age difference had always driven a space between them, and there had never been any reason for their paths to cross, particularily over the past several years, without Derek around.

But it was as though their previous bond had been broken, and had been reconnected anew- so much stronger, so much more real. She actually felt glad that Edwin was there with her, and that he was comforting her, like this. It was as though all those years without any real bonding had just evaporated, and they were both brought together by one common difficulty- Derek's condition. She regretted that they were only beginning to bond under such grave circumstances, but she was very thankful for Edwin's presence, nonetheless.

Her face was buried against his shoulder as he hugged her, and she knew that she was still crying. She was probably getting the shoulder of his sweater wet with her tears, but she didn't really give a damn. The tear-stains would dry, and would be gone within minutes, but the pain... the pain was going to stick around for awhile, she was pretty sure. And if she could release just a little bit of that pain... well, she didn't care whether or not Edwin's sweater had to fall victim in the process. He'd get over it.

"I need him, Edwin," she was murmering against her stepbrother's shoulder, her voice weak. She felt pitiful for not being stronger, but there was only so much that one person could take. Her guilt was eating away at whatever strength she'd possessed before all of this had happened, and she knew that there was no way she could come off as stronger- not now.

"I can't lose him," she whispered, more to herself than anyone else. "He's so young... he's got so much left to live for. He can't just... he wouldn't l-leave me here like this..."

She didn't care if Edwin felt awkward having to comfort her, though she had a feeling that he didn't. Derek had told his brother to take care of her, and she had a feeling that this was exactly what Edwin planned on doing- taking care of her, until such a time he was no longer needed. He would never go back on a promise he had made to his older brother, and it was with that understanding that he patted her back gently, his voice oddly strained.

"There's no sense in crying," he was whispering to her, though he knew this wouldn't help. "Turn around, and be strong for your son, Case. Justin- think about him. He wouldn't want to see you like this. He's been through a really rough time lately, and I'm sure he'd like to spend a little quality time with his mother. He's being so well-behaved, he deserves that, doesn't he?"

Sniffing, and blinking back the remainder of her tears, she pulled away from her stepbrother, keeping one arm around his neck as she glanced over her shoulder at the six year old boy, huddled against a wall as he used his finger to push his toy car back and forth, in front of him. He was making make-believe engine noises from the back of his throat, and she knew that he was only doing this to distract himself. She could sense the broken look in her son's eyes, and she knew what a hard time he must be going through. He hadn't so much as set eyes on his mother in two weeks, and their reunion had been so brief. All he probably wanted right now was for her to play with him, to comfort him, to be there for him in a world that had seemingly turned against him.

She could do that for him. This was her job, regardless of whether or not Derek was in the hospital. Sure, it may feel like her entire world had stopped, the moment he had fallen, but that wasn't true. The world was still going, and Justin was oblivious to how close his father was to death. The medical officials that had been dealing with Justin had shielded the boy from any view of what was happening to his father, not wanting him to be traumatized by the sight of the blood, the face of his mother as she struggled to keep him awake. They had very wisely kept him away from all of that. No six year old boy needed to be corrupted with those sorts of memories floating through their head.

And she knew that he needed her, right now. Even if everything in his world was spiralling out of control, she could keep one aspect of his life normal. She could just be herself, be the regular, caring mother she had always been for him. She'd play with him, and she'd make him smile, if it was the last thing she did. She felt like she needed to see that smile, just as proof that she had something worth fighting for, in her life.

Only then did she realize that Edwin had slipped out of the room, leaving her to bond with her son. She hadn't even felt him slip away from her, or heard the door closing behind him. She supposed that she had been too caught up in thoughts of her son, that she hadn't acknowledged anyone else around her.

Sighing, she used the sleeves of Derek's hoodie to wipe the tears off of her cheeks, and she sniffed, making sure that she was under control, entirely. She didn't want to end up falling apart in front of Justin, because he definitely didn't deserve that. She would make sure that he saw nothing but positivity from her, today.

Kneeling down next to him, she reached her hand out, smoothing his hair away from his eyes. As he turned his big brown eyes towards his mother, she was faced with a quick ripple of pain; even with her eyes, the boy looked so much like his father, it hurt. It was like looking into the face of a much younger Derek.

_'Justin_,' she reminded herself, closing her eyes for a moment. _'This is Justin. Just don't think about Derek; concentrate all your thoughts on your son.'_

Breathing in deeply, she forced herself to smile at her boy, and she settled down so that her back was against the wall, like Justin's was. She was sitting on the cold floor, but she didn't really give a damn where she was, so long as she had him here with her. Justin had stopped playing with his toy car, and he was looking up at his mother with a mixture of hope, and confusion. She observed his adorable features for a moment, allowing herself to be spoiled with the sight of everything she had missed, over the past two weeks. HIs tan skin, his messy brown hair, and the curious little gleam in his eyes had never faded, and she found herself stroking his hair, a faraway look in her eyes.

"You look so much like your Daddy, you know that?" she whispered, going against her promise to herself not to think about Derek. Justin blinked at her, remaining silent, and she managed to laugh, shaking her head.

"And that smile you've got. You've both got this way of charming me, and I'll never understand it. No matter how hard I try, I can never say no when either of you smiles at me."

Justin didn't say a word, and Casey sighed, her hands still running through the boy's soft brown hair. She found herself tilting her head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling as she spoke, more to herself than anything else.

"The three of us would be amazing together, if he can just pull out of this," she whispered, shaking her head. "He's such an amazing father to you. You've made so much progress since he came into your life. You've smiled more, you were starting to speak alot more than you ever had before... I was really starting to think we were going to make alot of progress, with your autism."

She knew that Justin probably didn't understand alot of what she was saying, but she knew that he would listen anyways. That was one thing she loved about the boy; he was so understanding, even when he didn't understand alot of what was being said to him.

Turning her gaze back to the boy all of a sudden, her eyes became serious, and she found herself pulling Justin up onto her lap, her arms wrapped around his tiny waist. His eyes were almost at level with Casey's, and he looked right into his mother's eyes as she spoke, shaking her head at him.

"No matter what happens, know that your Daddy loves you more than anything in this world, okay?" she whispered, needing the boy to understand that. "If anything happens..."

She trailed off, not wanting to reveal Derek's condition to Justin, and she thought hard, wondering how she could phrase this innocently. It took a minute or two, but she managed to think up something, and a moment later, she spoke up again.

"If anything were to ever happen to me or your Daddy," she said, trying to make it sound hypothetical. "-you'd understand how much we love you, right? Even if it meant we weren't around, anymore? Because no matter what happens to either one of us, you are the most important thing in our lives."

She expected him to nod or shake his head, if he were to respond at all. She honestly didn't expect him to speak up, and when he did, she didn't expect as much as she got.

"I know," he said, and she was surprised when some of her pain ebbed away, very faintly. It was like his voice was some sort of a remedy, to her soul. It was almost as if his voice held healing powers, or something. She was actually surprised that he had spoken a full statement, but she tried not to let it show too much as she nodded, a small smile on her lips.

"That's good," she said honestly, glad that Justin understood that. "That's really good. All I want is for you to understand that, and to remember it. Because it's absolutely true."

Justin only nodded, and Casey kissed his forehead gently, hugging him a bit tighter against her.

She was about to say something else, when she felt Derek's phone vibrating in her jeans pocket. They had given her the cellphone to hold onto, when they had changed Derek out of his clothes, and she had meant to turn it off, since they were in a hospital, but in all of her panic and stress, it had completely slipped her mind. She knew that she probably should turn it off, after this call.

Sighing, she removed one arm from around her son, and she reached into her pocket- where her hand closed around the small cellphone. She squinted at the screen, and did not recognize the number. She realized that she might not know who this person was, but decided she could take a message, anyways. She felt almost guilty for talking on the phone while she was trying to spend time with her son, but she knew that this could be important.

"Mommy will just be one second, okay?" she whispered to Justin, who merely nodded as she flipped the phone open, getting out a quick- "Hello?"

The voice that replied to her greeting was deep, and slightly formal sounding. The voice was almost familiar, and she knew that she must have heard it somewhere, before. She listened carefully after he returned her hello, and tried to pick out the familiarity of the voice.

"I'm looking for a number to reach Ms. Casey McDonald," he said, sounding slightly confused. "We've been calling her cellphone all evening, but it appears to be turned off, and she isn't picking up her home phone. Is this Mr. Venturi's fiancee?"

"Girlfriend," she corrected, not even thinking about what she was saying. "And this is Casey, by the way. My phone died last night, and I've been at the hospital since late last night."

"Hospital?" the man questioned, sounding suddenly concerned. "We were under the impression that Justin-"

"Justin's fine," she said, wondering vaguely who she was speaking with. "It's his father I'm here for. Haven't you heard the news?"

She was careful not to go into detail, since Justin could so easily piece together what she was saying, and she listened closely as the man replied.

"We haven't really heard much of anything, other than Justin was found safely, and his uncle removed him from the scene, somewhere around eight thirty last night," the man said, sounding honest. "This is Adam Murphy, from the children's centre your son has been held at for the past few weeks."

Casey immediately knew where she had heard the voice before; Adam Murphy had called her once, about a week ago, asking her about one of her son's medications. As much as she despised the workers in the centre for losing her son, she had taken a liking to Adam Murphy. When she had spoken with him on the phone, he had seemed genuinely concerned about her son's well being. She had gotten the feeling that he actually cared about Justin, and that he wasn't just another kid to take care of, to him. She valued that about him, and she knew that Mr. Murphy must be very dedicated to his job, to take such an interest in Justin's well-being.

"Is Justin doing okay?" he asked, and she was once again reminded of why she had taken a liking, to this worker. "I was the one who noticed he was missing, yesterday afternoon. My shift started at three, and when I come on, I usually do a bit of work with Justin. I couldn't find him, and I alerted my supervisor immediately. We looked everywhere for him, and when he didn't turn up, we alerted the police. I've got to tell you, I've been worried sick about the boy since the moment he went missing. I've taken a real liking to him."

Casey couldn't help but smile a little; it was nice to hear that Justin had earned a friend, while he was staying in the centre. From the sounds of it, Adam had spent time with Justin during the beginning of every shift, and Casey liked that idea. At least Justin hadn't been totally on his own, and he had apparantly had some sort of stablity, in having a set routine, every day.

"Justin's okay," she said, nodding her head as she felt relief flicker through her, at the sound of her own words. "He's right here with me, actually. His uncle Edwin just brought him over here to see me."

"Yes, that was what my supervisor wanted me to call you about," he said, sounding suddenly uncomfortable. "She's here right now, so I'll put her through to you."

Casey was about to question why they were there at three thirty in the morning, but then she remembered that this was a twenty-four hour care centre. The employees couldn't just leave the children in the building by themselves. There had to be at least a couple of people working night shifts, to ensure the kids were safe.

She would've much rather preferred to talk to Adam about this, but within a moment, someone had evidently clicked in on another line, and she knew that Adam was gone. The voice that responded was older, and feminine. She knew instantly that she wasn't going to take a liking to this woman; her voice was almost cold, unmoving.

"Is this Ms. McDonald?" she asked, and Casey tensed, her hold around her son tightening as she clutched the phone to her ear. She found herself nodding unnecessarily, she she swallowed hard, feeling strangely nervous.

"Yes," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "Can I help you?"

"Ms. McDonald, I hope you are aware that your son is still under court custody, and you still possess absolutely no right to him, at this point?" she questioned, and any nervousness Casey had been feeling before evaporated as anger flared up inside of her, and she shook her head, her eyes flashing murderously as the woman continued.

"We fully expect that you'll be returning your son to the centre within the next twenty-four hours," she said, soujnding as though she were making a threat. "Failing to do so could result in an arrest on your part, for going against a court warrant. Justin Venturi is listed as under court custody until such a time that a judge deems you as a a fit parent."

Casey laughed, though it was cold and bitter, and she found herself amused by the woman's assumption that Casey would give up her son, after everything she had just been through.

"Let me tell you something," she said, her voice threatening and confident. "My son is exactly where he belongs right now. He's with his mother, and that's where he should've been all along. lf you honestly think I'm going to return this boy to your custody, after you were so stupidly careless with him, then you've got another thing coming, my friend."

The woman on the other end of the line was completely silent as Casey went on, testing the waters of her newfound confidence.

"Because of you, my son could've died, and his father is in a comatose state right now," she said, knowing that Justin wouldn't know the meaning of comatose. "I allowed Justin to go into your care under the assumption that he was going to be taken care of. But if he isn't receiving one hundred percent care and attention, he won't be going back there. And guess what? He didn't get it. So you can come try to arrest me, but I warn you that it won't be an easy fight. There's no way in hell you're getting your hands on this boy now."

Without another word, she hung up the phone, smirking to herself as she pressed the power button, watching as the phone shut down. They couldn't call her back now, at least, and she knew that she had just probably gotten herself in a whole lot deeper. But honestly, did anyone think she was going to send Justin back to that horrible place, after all he'd gone through today?

She shook her head, kissing his forehead again, and hugging him to her chest once more.

"No one is gonna take you away from me," she promised again, her eyes narrowed with a newfound determination. "That's a promise."

* * *

**So... review? Because of the alerts being down, I didn't post this- but I had a chance to get a head start on the next few chapters. So updates should be pretty frequent. **


	31. Facing Reality

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Thirty-One: Facing Reality**

Time seemed to drag on mercilessly for Casey, over the next few days. She had dragged herself through the first day of waiting, merely on the hope that Derek would make it through the first night, and open his eyes in the morning. She hadn't realized it at the time, but her hope for his speedy recovery had really been all that was keeping her sane. She had realized, when the second day shifted easily into the third, that there would be no amazing, miraculous recovery for Derek, like she had originally anticipated. He had made it through the first and second nights okay, but the doctors frequently reminded her that his life was nowhere near secured, just yet. He was still in a coma, and they hadn't determined yet how serious that might be. They feared that it may be to the point that waking up would be absolutely impossible, but Casey could only hope for the best.

They hadn't allowed her to see him yet. Doctors had been carefully monitoring his progress over the past few days, and running tests to see whether or not certain systems were still working properly. They had banned anyone from entering his private room, and had insisted that it was for his own good. She wanted so badly just to see his face, to be able to brush her fingers against his own, even if they were stiff as a board. She just needed to be near him, to feel that he was still with her. She wanted to sit in that room, and be able to hear the steady beeping of the machines next to her, and know that his heart was still beating. That was all she needed, was that sense of comfort, that Derek always brought her. On another side, she sort of wondered if seeing him would make it worse, in the long run. She knew he was in rough shape, and that might be pretty hard to endure, but in the end, she knew seeing him was a necessity, even above her own pain.

By the third day of his hospitalization, Casey was pretty sure that her mind had shut itself down entirely, just like Derek's appeared to have done. When she rolled over in her bed on that third morning, having just woken up, she had expected the pain to wash over her, like it had the morning before. She had fully expected to feel the nausea that had swept over her everytime she thought about where Derek was, and how much danger he was in. The pain was so excruciating sometimes, that she felt like _she_ should be the one hospitalized. Her longing for Derek stretched beyond something emotional- without him, her body ached, just to have him near. It was an almost unbearable feeling, to live without him.

So she was shocked, on that third morning, when she had rolled onto her back, stared up at the ceiling... and felt nothing. The usual feeling of nausea didn't touch her at all, and she felt no pain. Her body felt at peace, for once, and it was a calming sort of feeling, to be able to live in such a tranquil state. It wasn't that she was happy, no, for there was no reason to be happy at all. She just didn't feel anything. No happiness, no pain, no sickness... it was almost a relief, to realize that she had grown numb to her own world. It was as though all of the tears she'd cried for Derek, over the past three days, had built themselves into a wall, to protect her from feeling anything else ever again.

And she was grateful for that. It was a relief, not to have to stuff her pockets with tissues in case she started crying, halfway to the hospital. It was a relief not to shield her eyes from Justin, for fear that he would see how much pain his mother was in. It was definitely a relief to be able to pick up the phone, without having to hide the fact that she had been crying.

Being numb really wasn't such a bad feeling after all.

She sat in the waiting room that day, just as she did every other day. They may not be allowing her to see him just yet, but had waited anxiously for that moment to come, and today, she was going to be rewarded. In just a few moments, the doctor would be coming through those doors, and leading her to Derek's room. He claimed that Derek was stable enough to have visitors, so long as nobody touched any of the wires he was hooked up to, for they were crucial to any chance of a recovery.

Justin was staying with his grandparents, for the next day or two- for alot of reasons. The main reason had been that Casey fully understood where most of her time would be spent, while Derek's future was still so undetermined. She would be at that hospital day and night, until she knew something more, and she really didn't feel that she should be dragging Justin to such a place, at such a young age. He didn't want to sit in a cooped up little waiting room for three days straight, and he shouldn't have to. He had spent too much time inside during his stay at the centre, and he deserved to be able to have a bit of fresh air. Going to London for a few days would be good for him. He'd get to see George and Nora, and London was so much more suitable for a little boy than Toronto was. He could actually play outside more, in London. Besides, Casey was certain that Marti would be all too eager to spoil her nephew with trips to McDonald's, and the ice cream place down the road. Justin would never have time to miss Casey, if Marti had something to do with it. Casey was sure to call him several times a day, just to be sure he knew how much she missed him, and that she was thinking about him.

Another reason behind Justin's visit to his grandparents house had been the social worker's interference. Casey had convinced them to lay off for a few days, claiming that the two of them needed time, and that a centre was no place for Justin to be in, while his family was going through so much drama. She claimed that she didn't feel comfortable putting her son back in a place that had failed him once, already. The judge had passed her request, claiming that Casey should be given visitation rights to her son at a time such as this, and that Justin could remain in the care of another family member, until some final decisions were made. Vanessa still hadn't dropped the charges, and until she did so, none of this would go away. Casey was unsure as to whether or not Vanessa would show some small sign of humanity, and give up, but she sure as hell hoped she would. Nonetheless, Justin was quite content staying with his grandparents for a little while, and Casey _was _allowed to see him as often as she'd like.

She was only removed from her thoughts when the door opened up, and the doctor nodded at her, signalling that she could go into Derek's room now. He didn't have to say a word before Casey had jumped up, and followed him right out the door, and into the long white hallway that would lead her to where she supposed Derek was being held.

He eventually stopped in front of a pale blue door, and the plaque on the doorway read that the room number was two eleven. She made a mental note to remember this, for the next time she visited him, and with a quick reminder about not touching any of the wires, the doctor had made his way back down the long white hallway, where she assumed he had other patients to take care of.

And then she was alone, standing outside Derek's door while she faced herself with the impending decision of whether or not she should go in. She wasn't sure why it was even a debate, in her mind. She had been sitting in that waiting room day in and day out for three days now, waiting... hoping that someone would come along and tell her that she could finally visit Derek. She had silently cursed the doctors who had banned her from seeing the one person who could make her feel better. Basically, up until now, she had been entirely sure that all she wanted was to see Derek, no matter what his condition was.

But as she stood outside the pale blue door, she felt like her stomach was in knots, in anticipation of what she might face, on the other side. She hadn't given it any real thought before, but she knew that Derek was in rough condition. How would she handle seeing the man she loved, in so much obvious pain? She knew that he would be in rough shape- they had warned her of that this morning. He was bandaged up, he was casted, and they said he was pretty bruised. One of the doctors had taken one look at Casey's pale face and claimed that it might not be a good idea for her to go in there. She knew that he had her best interests in mind at the time, but she had fixed him with a glare, and claimed that she could handle Derek's condition perfectly fine, and that she was strong enough to face this.

But now, she wasn't so sure. She had been immune to her own emotions all morning, something that she had been grateful for. Not a single ounce of pain had touched her yet today, and the feeling of being so free of conflict was amazing, to her. She wasn't happy- not in the slightest. No, the feeling was more relieved, than anything else. After being force-fed such incredible doses of pain over the past few days, it was so refreshing to wake up, and feel nothing. She knew that such a gift would not last; she was bound to crack, eventually. There was already a feeling in the pit of her stomach, something that she could not describe. It wasn't pain, or fear... she wasn't even so sure it was a bad feeling, though it was by no means pleasureable. She was entirely certain that it was the mere anticipation of feeling something more- a reminder that she would feel, eventually. It was a reminder that she was still human, and that all of this pain that her body was fending off right now... it would come back to her. Whether it be the moment she stepped through that door, or when she woke up the next day, or even a week from now... it would have to release itself eventually. Nobody could endure this much pain, and not crack at some point.

And if they could, they definitely had her appreciation and respect, because she knew for damn sure that she was not strong enough to hold on for much longer.

She took a deep breath as she backed away from the door, leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. Why was this so hard for her? She had wanted nothing more than to see Derek, for the past three days. She saw him every single day, prior to his fall. Just because he was in hospital, didn't mean he wasn't still Derek, right? She tried to picture the way he would look, all bandaged up like that. She closed her eyes, and she could just make out the image of his body, stiff as a board, wrapped in bandages to cover up the more serious damage. She could picture the machines all around him, beeping... the only sign that he was really alive at all. Attatched to those machines would be wires, all of them necessary to his survival, to keeping him with her.

She tried to picture how she would feel if she were to slip her hand into his, more for her comfort than anything else. She imagined that his hand would be cold and stiff, an unfortunate result of his current lack of circulation. This would be a strange feeling to decihper; she was so accustomed to the feeling of his warm hand, wrapping around her own with such strength and confidence that she couldn't help but feel protected. How would it feel, to know that she was the one who was watching over him, for a change? When she looked down at his bruised face, at the eyes that may never open... what would she feel? Would the barrier that had been blocking out all of her emotion finally crumble, under such pressure? Would she be able to withstand the idea that she may never see those gorgeous brown eyes looking into hers again? Or would her mind completely break down, and allow all of her built-up pain to swallow her whole?

Honestly, she wasn't sure if she could handle that.

But in an instant, she imagined that their roles were reversed, and that she was the one behind that door, lying in a hospital bed. In one, brief moment, her mind had summoned up an image of her own seemingly lifeless body, lying cold against the hospital bed-sheets. She saw the backs of her own eyelids- concealing the dazzling blue orbs that Derek claimed to love so much. She could see her light brown hair, falling around her neck, but failing to hide all of the bruises and cuts that she had somehow endured. She imagined her hands, stiff against her side. The machines, beeping as they measured her desperately unpredictable heartrate. The image was so real, that she almost believed it, for a moment. Her mind was more creative than she had thought, and she could make out every detail of her own lifeless figure vividly.

And as she tried to imagine Derek standing outside her doorway, contemplating whether or not he should go in, she couldn't do it. Her mind refused to summon up an image of a pale and hesitant Derek, pausing outside the pale blue door, contemplating whether or not he could handle such a sight. And immediately, she knew why. She couldn't imagine such a thing, because Derek would never hesitate when it came to her safety. If this situation were reversed- if she were the one hovering somewhere between life and death, he would show no hesitance. Derek would be at her side in a heartbeat, no questions asked. As her mind returned to the image of her motionless body, another detail came into focus, almost as clear as reality itself. She could picture Derek, his hands wrapped around hers, his lips pressing against her forehead gently. He would pull back only far enough to brush one of his hands across her forehead, and sweep the stray strands of hair away from her eyes. He would tuck the hair behind her ear, and give her a heartbreaking smile, one that would be filled with so much sadness that she would almost hate herself for causing pain for such an angel like him.

She could imagine how easily he would speak to her, as though she could really hear him. He would not hesitate in whispering soft words of comfort to her, telling her that it would be okay, and that she was going to wake up. She could see the pain hidden in the shadows of his eyes, but somehow, it wouldn't really matter. Derek had always put his pain in second place to her own, and she knew that- if this situation were backwards, he would be there for her when she needed him, no questions asked. When you loved someone, you were there for them regardless of the consequences, and that was something that she was going to have to face, if she truly loved him.

And hell knows she loved that man more than anything in the world, minus her own son.

And without another thought, she was inside the room, pushing the door shut behind her as gently as she possibly could. As the door clicked into place, she felt her body stiffen; she had not realized how quickly her thoughts had spiralled, and how easily she had made the decision to come into his room. A small part of her still screamed for her to leave, to get away as far as this place as possible, but she silenced the voice in her head with what her heart told her- Derek needed her. And that idea was enough to silence any protesting thoughts in her mind within a moment.

She willed her eyes to look around the room first, fighting off the inevitable decision of whether or not her immunity would hold strong, against such a sight as Derek. She took in the features of the room with a neutral expression on her face. Her eyes fixed on the pale white walls, interrupted only by the light blue borders that touched the base of the wall near the floor. The walls held no decorations, no hint of a personal touch. There was nothing comforting to be found, no warm colours to ease the eerie feeling that was washing over her. She found herself wrapping her arms around herself as she shivered, glancing around one more time, as though hoping something new would catch her eye.

Her only companion was the steady beeping that filled the room, telling her that Derek was still alive, he was still fighting. The beeping would've been annoying, if she was not fully aware that every beep meant that his heart had beat once more, that he was still holding on. She hoped that he loved her enough to keep holding on for as long as possible, though she knew it would not be his fault if he were to lose this battle. The human body could only withstand so much pain, and he had definitely been through enough physical damage to last a lifetime, now.

She cringed as she caught sight of the black jacket that had been thrown across the back of the chair next to the bed, so casually that it was almost as if he had tossed it there himself. She supposed that this had been the only article of clothing that they had been able to salvage from Derek's body, and that thought was unendurable, to Casey. Had he really lost enough blood, that his clothes were completely ruined by the stain of it? She supposed that it was a good thing that they had managed to rescue his precious black jacket. Heaven forbid anyone throw the thing out. She could just picture Derek's reaction if he woke up to find that they had tossed it away carelessly, like the rest of his clothes. He would have a fit, and she knew it.

She stifled laughter at the idea of his reaction, but the humour was shallow, and the laughter didn't even begin to warm her numb body. She found herself taking a few subconcious steps towards the bed, her breathing heavy as she caught sight of his figure, stiff as a board against the hospital bed. She wouldn't allow herself to look at his face just yet. She knew that this would be the hardest part of all, and that was something that she wasn't quite ready for, just yet. She figured that she might as well catch sight of the rest of his injuries before she looked at his face, because if anything were going to break her down, that would be it. The sight of his usually beautiful features suffering any sort of trauma would be heartbreaking to her, and she knew it.

With this in mind, she glanced first at his hands. They were, like she had suspected, swollen, and she knew that one of them held a strong possibility of being broken. It was not casted, but it was even more swollen than her own hand was. She had protested against getting a cast, which was what the doctors had wanted to do with her, and she had managed to get out of it with just a flexible bandage. Turns out, her hand wasn't actually broken, though it was pretty close to it. They had wanted to cast it merely as a precaution, but she had refused, knowing that she had bigger and better things to be worrying about, and more important places to spend her time than sitting in a room while they plastered her hand back into place.

But looking down at Derek's hand now, she had to wonder how they had not put a cast on his hand yet. It was swollen beyond belief, and she knew how much pain he must have been in, if his pain was worse than her own had been. She decided not to think about that, and she felt her fingers brushing lightly against the healthier of his two hands, her breath catching when she found that she had been wrong, on something. Despite his lack of circulation, and despite the fact that he hadn't moved in three days, his hands were warm. The feeling was such a relief to her that she found herself smiling faintly, as though she was just relieved that something had gone right for her. This was proof that there was still blood coursing throughout his veins, and the very idea was quite reassuring to Casey.

She drew her fingers back, allowing the palms of her hands to rest against the edge of the bed as she willed her eyes to travel further down his body, still too afraid to look at his face. His chest was covered in the thin blue material of his hospital clothes, though she suspected that there would be bruises and cuts upon his usually flawless chest, as well. She knew that she could check for herself, and that she wouldn't really be violating him by examining what injuries he had, but what was the point in worsening the nightmares that would take place that night? They were inevitable by now, and she knew it. If she fell asleep at all, her dreams would be haunted with the memory of Derek's still figure, so seemingly lifeless, and she knew that it would be pointless to do anything that might give her mind even more reason to be creative, tonight.

She quickly allowed her eyes to travel to the foot of the bed, and she cringed at the sight of his broken ankle. Understandably, it was wrapped in a plain white cast, and she knew by looking at it that it was plaster, not waterproof. If Derek were to wake up, she knew they'd have to change that for him, but she shrugged it off as she realized how swollen his ankle must be, underneath the cast. This was something she had fully expected. His ankle had been the first thing to hit the ground, when he fell, and even from a few feet away, she had heard the snap that was clearly his ankle breaking. The sound had been sickening to her, and she could call it to memory much too easily. It had been a clean break, the doctors had told her, though she was sure it had hurt, all the same. They had it elevated slightly off of the bed, held loosely in a sling. She knew he wouldn't be walking for awhile, once he woke up.

There was no more fighting the inevitable. There was only one part of him that she had not allowed herself to examine just yet, and she knew that she couldn't fight it, anymore. Looking at his face, seeing the eyes that may never open again, would be very hard for her. She knew that this was the final test of how much pain she could endure, and she also knew that she wasn't ready for it- not in the slightest. But her mind was screaming at her for being so selfish, for even considering giving up on him now, and she knew that she was going to have to suck it up, and be there for him in his time of need. He would do the same for her, in a heartbeat, and she owed him the same sort of respect.

And so she allowed her eyes to travel to his usually gorgeous face, holding her breath as she waited for the pain to sweep over her, as she waited for nausea to course through her veins. She was suddenly terrified of the destruction of her own immunity, but it was too late to turn back, and she waited as she allowed herself to take in the sight that was Derek.

She was surprised. It wasn't nearly as bad as she had expected it to be. Truthfully, she had been anticipating huge gashes, big bruises, swollen eyelids... the sort of thing you saw on medical shows, when some kid had just been rushed in from the scene of a horrific car crash. Maybe she had been watching one too many horror flicks lately, or too many medical documentaries, but her mind had definitely overreacted to something much less serious.

He wasn't totally unharmed. There was a gash on his temple, just beside his left eye, and there were six stitches holding that into place. His lip was split, though that didn't look too bad, and the left side of his face was swollen. The right side was virtually flawless as usual, minus a scrape or two. Thinking about it, she realized that most of the damage on his entire body had been to his left side, because that was the side that had hit the ground first. It had acted as a cushion for the right side, and had endured most of the physical damage for him.

She felt no pain, and she commended herself for the strong level of restraint her body seemed to be presenting her with. She had not expected that she would be able to withstand so much, though she still understood that, somewhere down the line, she would snap. Something would be too much for her to handle, and she would break down, at that point. But for now, she found herself running her fingers along Derek's motionless arm, her eyes squinting down at him as she gave the matter some real thought.

This was Derek. This was _her_ Derek. Underneath all of the bandages, and the bruises and cuts, was the exact same man who had told her he loved her, a few short days ago. This was the same man who had always managed to slip his hand into hers at the perfect times, when she was lonely or scared. These arms, however brusied or cut, were the arms that had held her through so much, time and time again. Underneath it all, he was still Derek, and she knew immediately that the injuries meant nothing. She was still going to be here for him, regardless.

Drawing in a shaky breath, she carefully slipped her hand around his good one, being careful not to be too rough. She gave it a gentle squeeze, and looked up at his motionless figure, unsure of what to say, or how to say it. She thought hard, and tried to imagine what she would say if she knew that he could actually hear her.

"It's gonna be alright, Derek," she murmered, surprised at how confident her voice sounded, despite her doubts. "You're so strong- I know you can fight this."

He remained still, just as she knew he would, but she didn't let it bother her. She kept going, as though she had not paused in the first place.

"I want you to know how proud I am of you," she said, with a sad smile on her lips. "You were there for Justin when he truly needed you, and you should never doubt that you're a terrific parent, because I think you've proved that to everyone. Justin is alive today because of you. He's safe b-because his father made a huge sacrifice for him, and you can't imagine how much that means to me. Even if you don't... m-make it through, I want you to know that me and Justin will always be grateful for what you did for him."

She paused; she didn't think it was a good idea to talk about what might happen if he didn't make it. Despite how well she had been holding up, she wasn't sure if she would last long, once she went into the discussion of what her life would be like without him. She didn't have too much willpower, in that area.

So she changed the subject, eager to get away from anything that revolved around living without Derek.

"I talked to Vanessa the other day," she informed him, running her thumb gently across the back of his stiff hand. "It was weird, talking to her without either of us raising a fist. She was really honest with me, and... it was weird to see a new side of her, like that. She told me that she always knew you still had feelings for me, and she explained why she had Justin taken away."

She paused, thinking hard, before she continued.

"Maybe I'll tell you all about it one day, once you're awake," she said, shrugging her shoulders. Biting her lip, she went on, though her voice was hesitant.

"I think she does love you, despite all she's done," she said thoughtfully, feeling slightly reluctant. "I'm not trying to defend her or anything, but that was the impression I got. I feel like... I dunno, she did all of this because she loves you, and because she wanted to keep you. It doesn't make any of it right, not at all, but I know how hard I'd fight to keep a guy like you. I guess I can understand where she's coming from... sort of."

There was a definite note of uncertainty in her voice now, and she cringed at the prospect of agreeing with anything Vanessa said to her. Something else came to mind, and for the first time all day, she felt something. It wasn't strong enough to bring down the wall she had so carefully put up around her, but it was the slightest twinge of emotion, something indescribable. It was almost like... not jealousy, but realization. She knew she could not force Derek into picking her. When he woke up, if he woke up, he would have to make some sort of a final decision regarding Vanessa, and herself. She knew that he had essentially made his choice by blowing off the wedding for her, and she was almost certain that nothing would change his mind. But she wasn't about to decide anything for him. His decision would be made when he verbalized it to her, and when she understood that this was what he wanted.

"I just want you to know, Derek..." she said slowly, the slightest hint of pain in her voice. "I know you love me and everything- there's no doubt in my mind about that. But... whoever you choose to be with, it's okay with me. I mean, seeing you with her would absolutely kill me, don't get me wrong. But I'm not going to hold anything against you. You'll choose what makes you happy in the end, and I just want you to be happy."

She paused again, thinking hard. There was next to no doubt in her mind that he would choose her, in the end. She knew that his cancelled wedding had practically been proof of that. But if Vanessa got in here and somehow talked guilt into his mind... would he think of her any differently? If she were to apologize for all she had done, and explain her reasoning, would his opinion on Vanessa change at all? She doubted it, but she wanted to cover all the bases.

"Whatever you choose Derek, it's fine with me. So long as you're happy. And... and whoever you choose... know that I'll always love you, despite it all."

She was breaking down, slowly and surely. Where there had been numbness before, there was now aching, and a longing to see his gorgeous brown eyes looking up at her, sparkling with mischeif and curiousity. She longed to feel his hand tighten around hers, feel his lips against her cheek. What she wouldn't give to hear him whisper into her ear that it was all okay, that he was still holding on, for her. She didn't really care what he was holding on for, in all honesty, as long as he was still hanging in there. She was terrified that the monitors would start beeping like crazy, and she'd lose him at any given second. She knew now, how easily life could come to an end. The very prospect of it had been hanging over her head for three days now, and she still wasn't accustomed to the unease it brought her.

She could feel a sob surfacing somewhere in the back of her throat, but she fought it back as hard as she could, not wanting to cry. She was supposed to stay strong here, to support Derek. Sure, he couldn't hear her, but it gave her a feeling of comfort, that she was able to stay strong. Crying would just make this seem so real, and besides, she had done enough crying to last a lifetime, in the span of the past week. She didn't know how one human body could produce so many tears, in such a short period of time.

She must have some amazing tear ducts.

"Derek, you tool- stop playing dead and just wake up," she choked out, feeling horrible for being so negative towards him. She paused, almost laughing for a moment at her own words. She had just addressed him as she normally would've, if she was telling him off for anything else, and she found that this helped her. It gave her a sense of normalcy, to treat him as though he wasn't unconcious, as though he was sitting right in front of her, with eyes wide open. She could just picture the way he would playfully roll his eyes at her comment, and ruffle her hair. He would make some little remark about how he was just playing around, and she was sure that he'd come up with something to piss her off. Just because he was Derek. Just because he 'cared'.

"You're so predictable," she murmered, laughing gently as tears welled up in her eyes. "Even when you're unconcious, you manage to make me smile a little. I bet you plan all of this. It's like... your life goal, to ensure I've always got a smile on my face. And then you're making me cry at the same time, and now my eyeliner is a mess, and I'm gonna look like a total state and-"

She trailed off, bowing her head down against his chest. Her forehead pressed against the flimsy material of his shirt, and she felt the tears finally escaping her eyes. She felt more relief than she did pain; it was a good thing to be able to release some of this pent-up frustration, even if she was releasing it on an unconcious Derek. It had been building up for three days now- it was about time she snapped. She didn't care if she sounded mental, talking to herself like this. She didn't care that she was crying into his chest like an idiot. She had every reason in the world to cry right now, and anyone who said she didn't was clearly heartless.

If she thought hard enough, she could almost force her mind to imagine that Derek was comforting her. She could almost feel his hand rubbing across her back, feel his arms wrapping around her, whispering to her-

"It's okay, Case- I've got you."

"No," she murmered, shaking her head desperately as she clung to his hand, not willing to let go of his seemingly lifeless form. Nobody had her. She was imaging things. How creative her mind must be, for she was almost certain that she could feel strong arms wrapping around her waist, trying to pull her away from the bed as gently as possible. The arms were familiar, but they weren't Derek's. Comforting as they were, her mind seemed unable to conjure up the exact sensation of his arms around her waist.

And why was her hand suddenly cold? Why was it that she was suddenly standing? She didn't understand why her body had turned away from the bed, and why she was suddenly crying into someone else's shoulder... someone much more real than her mind should've been able to create.

And that was when she realized that she wasn't imagining things anymore. Someone _was _holding her, and there was actually a voice whispering against her ear- but it wasn't Derek. It was the second pair of arms that her mind had craved, at the very least, though she would've much rather it been Derek hugging her, and telling her it would be okay.

Nonetheless, she found herself crying against Edwin's shoulder, thanking the heavens that God had seen fit to give her _two_ stepbrothers, instead of one. One of those stepbrothers had acted as the true love of her life, the man lying in the bed behind her, pracitcally lifeless. The oldest of George's sons had never been intended to act as a brother for her, because such a bond could not be forced between soulmates- between two people who were born to be together. Derek would never be anything close to a sibling to her, for their love stretched much beyond that suitable of a brother and sister relationship.

And that was where the second stepbrother came into play. It was as though Edwin had been tossed into the mix of the five kids as the youngest brother, to act as just that- a brother. He had been there unconditionally for every last one of them, at some point over the years, and it only occured now to Casey that he was the truest thing to a brother she would ever have. She had never been able to form the bond that was intended for her and Derek, but she was able to find it so easily, with Edwin. And this week especially, she felt that she had never been more grateful for the dark haired boy, who had outgrown his brother over the years.

"It's okay, Case," Edwin was saying, his voice strained as he allowed her to cry against his shoulder. His hand smoothed through her hair, and she found herself shaking her head, unable to believe a word that he was saying, despite his good intentions.

"No, it's not," she got out, her voice weak, strained. She cursed herself for not being stronger than this, but really- how much more could she have taken? "Derek's not okay. When is everyone g-going to accept that? He's _not okay_. Just look at him!"

Edwin didn't make any attempt to obey her. Though she could not see his eyes, she felt his body tense, and she knew that he was just as reluctant as she had been to look at the form of his motionless brother, lying on the bed. It wasn't any easier for Edwin than it had been for her, and she knew without asking that he hadn't so much as glanced at Derek.

She pulled back, glaring. If she had to face this, so did he. Why was she the only one brave enough to look this in the eye, to examine such horrible damage, even when it destroyed her like this? Edwin loved his brother too, didn't he? Why couldn't anyone but her look at him, and see the truth?

"_Look_ at him, Edwin!" she choked out, her voice half angry, half begging. "I can't be the only one that sees how bad this is. Can you honestly look at him, and tell me you think he's alright?"

Edwin did not let go of her, but she watched as he cringed, his eyes fixed on her face, rather than on his brother. She felt anger bubbling up inside of her at his refusal to follow through on her order, and she shook with anger as she pulled away from him, tears still slipping from her eyes. She'd gone crazy, and she knew that Edwin knew that. Maybe she had finally gone insane from the all of the restrained anguish and pain that she had been through lately, but she couldn't bring herself to give a damn. What good was her sanity, without Derek there to toy with it? He'd always suspected she was half-nuts, and now there was tangible proof. She felt like laughing, like going to his side and forcing her own instability upon him. She felt like going to his bedside, and asking him if this was what he wanted? Had he wanted to drive her insane? Because she was pretty sure he had finally succeeded.

"Casey, you're not thinking clearly-" Edwin started, but she shook her head angrily, stomping her foot much like an agressive toddler throwing a temper tantrum. So sue her, if she was getting angry at the one person who seemed to care about her right now. Heaven forbid she show a bit of emotion, right? She had stayed strong over the past few days. She hadn't uttered a single negative word, for fear of hurting anyone else's feelings. But she was sick of tiptoeing around so that nobody else would get hurt. She was tired of pretending that she was so in control, when she was the farthest thing from sane as she could be.

"I'm thinking perfectly clear, Edwin- and it's starting to occur to me that nobody else _is_!" she yelled, giving a jerk of the head towards Derek. "_Look_ at him, okay? He's your _brother_, dammit! If you love him half as much as I do, you'll be able to look him over and tell the truth. And hell, if you love _me _at all you'll stop lying to me, and tell me what you _really_ think about all of this."

"I'm not trying to lie to you," he argued, shaking his head. His eyes were lost, and she would've felt apologetic, if she weren't so distracted. "Of course I love you, and of course I love my brother. You guys are my family, you mean the world to me- just as much as Liz and Marti do, but-"

"But you don't think I can take it," she finished for him, more quietly this time. She folded her arms across her chest, and watched as his face fell, a crimson blush surfacing to his cheeks. She took this as a confirmation of her words, and she went on, trying her best to keep her voice strong, and determined.

"If you don't think I can handle this, you're wrong," she said, shaking her head. "I want honesty, not lies. Lies get you absolutely nowhere, Edwin- have you _looked _at Vanessa's life lately? All she does is lie, and look where it's brought her? She's all alone in a world full of people who respect her. She has money, she has fame, but she has _nobody_ who cares about her like this. She lied to herself for two years, and told herself that Derek only wanted her, and look where it brought her. She's been sitting in a hospital cafeteria for three days, contemplating where she went wrong with her own life."

Edwin was staring at the floor now, his hands in his pockets as he chewed thoughtfully on his lower lip, trying to let Casey's words sink in. She knew she had his full attention, and she took advantage of that as she went on, shaking her head with a slight twinkle of fear in her eyes.

"I don't want to end up like Vanessa, Ed," she said, her voice fearful, for the first time. "She lied to herself for the longest time, and look at the sort of person she is now. I'm not going to lie to myself and pretend like this isn't as serious as it is. As much as I want to believe in Derek... I know it goes farther than that. If I remove myself from the situation completely, and just look at it from a neutral point of view... I know how high the odds are stacked against him. I know his chance of survival isn't that great."

He still refused to look at her, and she knew that she had won. Edwin knew just as much as she did that this was serious, and that Derek's chance of survival was horribly low. He could deny it to her all he wanted, but she knew perfectly well that his mind was in the same field as hers, and he understood that, in a week's time, he might not have a brother anymore. He had to know that sometimes people didn't make it out of these sorts of things, and that his brother might just be one of them.

"If you won't look at me, then I repeat... look at your brother."

Her voice was quiet, understanding, almost sympathetic. She knew that the man had to be hurting just as much as she was right now, and the last thing she wanted to do was say anything too harshly. He had been nothing but kind to her, and she felt an obligation to do the same for him.

And slowly, without anymore persuasion from Casey, Edwin managed to raise his gaze to rest on his brother's still form, lying flat against the hospital bed. She tried not to take notice of the pain that flickered across his features, and the way he cringed, before looking away again quickly. It was clear that he didn't have the willpower to look for any longer than that, and she knew better than to try and persuade him to do so. He had done enough, and it was obvious that this hurt for him as well.

"Can you honestly tell me now that you think he's gonna make it through this?" she whispered, shaking her head. She expected more tears to well up in her eyes, and in fact- she couldn't even remember when she had stopped crying. Nonetheless, her eyes were dry, and the only reminder that she had been crying at all were the few tears that had not yet dried upon her unusually pale skin. She somehow managed to keep her voice steady as she spoke, but it was quite difficult. She wasn't sure where her sudden lack of confidence in Derek's situation had come from, but she found that it didn't hurt nearly as much as positivity did. She still had faith in him, to some extent. She believed that he would hold on, for as long as he could. But honestly, she didn't think that that time period would last much longer. He was only human, and his body could only take so much, before it would shut down on him. She understood that he might not have much longer to live.

And although it killed to admit that, to the extent that she thought she might break down to the power of her own pain, she knew that admitting it would make it hurt less, in the end. If she were to live in denial, and tell herself that Derek would be okay, that he was going to pull through this... she would be even more disappointed in the end, when he lost the battle.

"He's not gonna make it, okay?" she murmered, pain swelling in the back of her throat. She shook her head, and she felt as though every part of her body were on fire, at the moment. She felt nauseous, she felt disgusted, and she felt like she couldn't breathe. It was as though her airways had suddenly cut off, sensing that her reasons to live were being pinned off, one by one. Justin's custody was still under threat, and really- wasn't that all she had to live for, besides Derek? She lived for those two, and she was losing both of them, slowly but surely. Justin still wasn't allowed under her care just yet, and Derek... well, maybe he was already giving up on her.

It was as though the world was turning against her, as though the four walls of this room were going to crush her, suffocate her. No air was passing through her lungs, and it was all she could do to keep herself balanced on her own two feet. Everything seemed to be spinning, spiralling quickly out of control, and she had no idea how to stabalize herself.

And before Edwin had a chance to catch her, she had slipped away from him, and she was running down the hallway as fast as her legs would carry her. She could hear Edwin calling out to her, telling her to come back, but she wouldn't, she couldn't. Going back would mean she'd be trapped in that little room again. She didn't _want_ to be trapped anymore.

And as she burst out through the back doors of the hospital, unsure of how she had even gotten there, she felt the air flowing through her lungs, filling her, releasing some of that negative energy that had built up, since she walked into Derek's hospital room. She gripped the railing of the small ledge she had found herself on, and gasped for more oxygen, for more release from her own pain. She finally felt free of the worry that had been building up for three days, but she fully understood that Edwin would come looking for her soon, and he would bring her back inside. He'd probably be worried that she'd get herself hurt, wandering around in such a state.

She laughed; she couldn't care less if she got herself hurt, right now. Who cared, what happened to her? Derek had been the only one who had ever shown much interest in her personal safety, and was Derek in any state to be caring about her right now? Clearly not. If he cared, he'd wake up out of that stupid coma, and tell her it would all be okay. If he cared, he wouldn't be lying in that hospital bed, fighting for his life.

She knew she was being cruel, and judgemental. It was the complete opposite; Derek was lying in that hospital bed _because _he cared, and she appreciated that- really, she did. But the pain was much too strong, and she knew that no amount of Edwin's comfort could help her this time.

And without another thought on the matter, she was running as fast as she could carry herself. Her feet pounded against the pavement with reckless strength, and she could hear the vlood rushing through her veins as she carried herself as far away from the hospital as she could go.

* * *

**Mainly a filler. The next chapter will be very important, and has alot to do with Vanessa... so be prepared. Anyways, review and Ill post quicker because the next chapter is almost done! I will hostage the next chapter!! -smiles-**


	32. Blackout

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Blackout**

She wasn't aware that she had stopped running until she reached Derek's apartment. His place was a good forty minute walk from the hospital, so it really surprised her when she found herself standing in front of Derek's apartment door, hands on her knees as she panted for air. The back of her throat was searing with what could only be flames, and she was pretty sure that proper breathing would not take place for another year or two. For a girl whose physical activity rarely extended past chasing around her six year old, she had just shown incredible athletic skills. She may not have been thinking clearly while she ran, but she could not remember stopping even once on route to Derek's place.

She had Derek's keys on her, since the doctors had given his belongings to her, for safekeeping. She knew that Edwin was probably worried, and that he at least deserved a phone call to assure him that she was okay. She was the world's biggest klutz, and she knew it would probably worry poor Edwin, knowing his stepsister was running the streets alone. She knew full well that he had taken his promise to his brother very seriously, and that his protection of her had extended way beyond keeping Vanessa away from her. As long as Derek was in hospital, Casey would be under Edwin's watchful eye- that much was obvious. He was not willing to let anything happen to her, while his brother was unable to care for her. Edwin was never one to go againt his older brother's wishes, and this would be no different whatsoever.

As she pushed her way in through the apartment, she felt a cool breeze ruffling through her hair. She paused in the doorway, slightly taken aback by the cool air that washed over her. She wondered for one brief moment how his apartment had managed to stay so cool, in the boiling heat of an Ontario summer. But her confusion disappeared the moment she saw that his blinds were drawn, blocking the sun from heating the apartment too much. On top of that, she caught sight of the curtains, blowing gently in the wind, and she knew then that the window had been left open- not a big deal, considering his apartment was so high up. His cellphone lay on the table, for she had put it there the night of his fall, right after she had come from the hospital. She considered turning around and leaving, but something else caught her eye- something that she should have noticed first.

Derek's computer had been left on, from the day of the wedding, she supposed. To her knowledge, nobody had been in his apartment since the day of his fall, so she supposed that Derek had left it on before he left to wait for her, in front of the church. She felt a weird feeling settle into her stomach, and she was surprised when her instincts told her to leave. This made no sense to her- for nobody was here but her. Being alone was a gift, after three days of having to be around doctors who never had anything good to tell her. In what way would leaving actually be of any benefit to her? The idea of relaxing in Derek's empty, not to mention chilled, apartment, was very tempting to her. She could see nothing wrong with the prospect of relaxing here for a couple of hours. Hell, she'd stay the night, if the thought of being so close to his things wasn't so damn hard. Already, the lingering scent of _him_ was driving her insane. It was the same scent that she managed to breathe in everytime Derek wrapped his arms around her, or when the wind blew in the right direction, directing his scent towards her sense of smell.

Yes, there was that one downfall to being in Derek's apartment, but his mere smell wasn't enough to cause such a nauseating feeling in her stomach, was it? It shouldn't be- she knew that much.

Sighing, she pushed the door closed behind her, and unzipped her windbreaker. She was practically sweating from running so fast in the heat, but she knew that she would cool down quickly, in here. Maybe she would go back to the hospital, once she had calmed down a little bit. She didn't want to worry Edwin, after all. She hadn't really meant to yell at him. She felt sort of bad, after everything that her younger stepbrother had gone through to help her through this, to try and keep her strong. He was trying the best that he could to be there for her, and she had just pushed him away, and practically told him off for being even the slightest bit optimistic. But seriously, was Edwin that much in denial, still? Could he not see what she saw, when he looked at his almost lifeless brother?

Okay, maybe returning to the hospital tonight wasn't such a good idea, if she was still so conflicted like this. She could call him on her cellphone, so that he wouldn't know where she was, and tell him that she was fine, and that she would see him tomorrow. He wouldn't worry, and he wouldn't be able to come find her. That would work out, wouldn't it? And if she could just get used to being in Derek's apartment without him, maybe she could spend the night here, for comfort. Lizzie had spent the past few nights at her house, to be closer to the hospital, so she knew that she didn't have to worry about someone being there to feed and walk Jade. Lizzie absolutely loved the puppy- she would take perfect care of him. It was always good to have an animal lover for a sister.

Sighing, she sat down in front of the computer, wondering if her mother had emailed her. Nora had mentioned that she had taken pictures the day before, when her and Marti had taken Justin to the waterpark. She had told Casey that she would send them along, sensing that the girl needed something to make her smile, if she had time to get to a computer at all.

Checking her email wasn't really on her list of priorities, but she knew that she would have time to glance over the pictures, and write a quick reply to her mother, thanking her. The intentions were sweet, after all- she _did_ need something to make her smile, and Justin's happy face usually did that for her.

Glancing at the screen, she saw that Derek already had the email server open, though it was under his account. She grasped the mouse beneath her grip, ready to log out of his account, but as she searched for the log-out button, something else caught her eye. As her eyes flickered across the screen, she caught sight of Vanessa's name, scattered a couple of times across the webpage. At first, she figured it might have something to do with work; Vanessa _was_ one of his clients, after all. But as she squinted at the message, and read the intended recipient of the message, she saw that it wasn't about Vanessa- it was _from_ Vanessa. The conversation appeared to have been going on for a few replies, because it carried down the page a little bit.

The first thing she noticed was that Derek had sent the original message from his cellphone. That meant that it wouldn't be too long of a message, she supposed.

She knew she shouldn't interfere. She knew that it was wrong to read someone else's emails, without their permission. She should trust Derek, and trust that- whatever he had been discussing with Vanessa, had been completely innocent. Hell, she knew she couldn't even get mad at him if it wasn't. Him and Vanessa had been together, right up until the day of his fall. It had been Casey who had been the other woman, the one on the side. She couldn't blame him for anything he talked to Vanessa about, right? Furthermore, this gave her no reason to snoop in his private emails- if it really didn't matter. The email had probably popped up automatically when Vanessa's final reply had arrived- there was nothing bad about this, right?

But sadly, her curiousity got the better of her, and she found herself cursing her own willpower as she leaned forwards over the computer desk, and allowed her eyes to read the first part of the message, directed by Derek himself. It was short, as expected, and filled with abbreviations, further proof that he had been typing this from his cellphone

_'Hey. I'm sry for blowing off the wedding. Really, I am. Didn't want to hurt you. - D'_

She scrolled down a little bit, searching for Vanessa's response. She hadn't known that Derek had felt bad about blowing off his committment to Vanessa. This meant that he had been sending her emails while they had been searching for Justin. She knew that this was his choice, but it bothered her that he had been sending her those sorts of messages while she had been right there next to him, clearly upset.

Shrugging it off, she turned back to the email, deciding to keep going without concern. She assumed that Vanessa had been on a computer at the time, because her reply was much longer, and seemed gramatically correct, for the most part. Heaven forbid perfect Vanessa ever abbreviate; that might make her normal, right?

_'Are you kidding me? You think a simple apology can excuse what you put me through? Hell, what you put my family through! I know your family is a fan of Casey, so this was probably not a big deal to them. But my family put their heart and soul into planning this thing, Der. You really let me down this time.'_

As quickly as possible, she scrolled down, eager for more.

_'Didn't mean to hurt your family, and especially not you. I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry. I can't say it enough- please forgive me.' _

He hadn't been _thinking_? What was there to think about- they loved each other. He had told her that there was nothing he would not give up to be with her, and she had believed him, the moment she saw him on those church steps. It had come as a shock to her, that he had actually sacrificed his relationship with Vanessa, to be with someone like her. She had honestly doubted his dedication to her, but up until now, there hadn't been a doubt in her mind about how he felt about her. Right now, however, all she felt was doubt, and a sick feeling settling into her stomach.

_'Why should I forgive someone who doesn't even love me, Derek? You lied to me, and you led me to believe you actually cared. You don't care about me; you care about her.'_

Eagerly, she went on, desperate for more.

_'I can't deny that I care for Casey. She's a huge part of who I am; I won't lie about that. But I love you, Ness." _

Her heart must have stopped beating, then. She knew that any trace of normal emotion had just drained from every vein in her body- for nothing could hurt more than this. Sure, she had known that he still cared deeply for Vanessa; she could accept that. He had come dangerously close to marrying the girl, and she could not expect that he would be able to forget her, just like that. But he was still in _love_ with her? It wasn't even that that bothered her, really. She just hated the way he was saying it, as though he didn't want her to forget his feelings for her. It was as though he wanted to be certain that Vanessa knew just how he felt about her. And really, she didn't like that.

_'More than you love Casey?'_

She closed her eyes, finding herself unable to breathe. Panic was rising in her throat, and she had no idea whether or not she even wanted to continue reading this email message. After she read Derek's reply, there was really no going back. It would be impossible to erase the effects of Derek's reply to Vanessa's question. It might not be what she wanted to hear, and that was something that she had to be ready to accept. There was a very likely possibility that he would choose Vanessa, and if he did... she had to step back, and let him go. If Vanessa was really what would make Derek happy, she would step aside, and let them be together, like it would've been if she hadn't of come back into his life and complicated his existance. It would hurt, and she couldn't deny that she would resent Derek, for leading her on. But his happiness was all that mattered here, even if he clearly hadn't been thinking of _her_ happiness, as he wrote those messages to his one-time fiancee. She still hated that he had been proclaiming his love for Vanessa, while holding her hand and pretending like they were completely in love.

That was if Derek even made it out of this, which she severely doubted.

She drew in a shaky breath, unsure of whether or not this was a good idea. She could go on and pretend like she had never read the email in the first place. She could act as if she was oblivious to his love for Vanessa, and just tell herself that Derek loved her more. But how would she live with that worry hanging over her head, for the rest of her life? It was hard enough to face right now- she didn't think she could take another seventy years of wondering if she was the right girl for Derek, or if she had trapped him into being with her.

So, not even close to prepared, she opened up her eyes, her hands gripping the edge of the computer desk until her knuckles turned white. She would do the braver thing here. She would read his reply, and she would live with the consequences, whatever they were.

Her eyes settled on the words, and she allowed herself to take them in, ignoring the lump rising in the back of her throat.

_'What happened with Casey... it was just a blast from the past. It doesn't mean anything- you mean everything to me. Yes, I love you more than Casey- more than anything.'_

She didn't read Vanessa's final reply- the last part of the message. She wasn't even sure if she had finished reading Derek's part of the message. All she knew was that she was suddenly standing up fumbling for the zipper on her jacket. Her hands were shaking more than she could ever remember, and her cheeks were stained with tears. Her hair fell in front of her eyes as she struggled not to fall apart completely. She needed to stay strong; Derek wasn't the entire world, right? She had lived without him before, and there had to be a way to do it again. She had gone seven entire years without once crumbling into a useless pile of misery, and claiming her life as useless. Yes, she had cried a couple of times, usually on what would've been hers and Derek's anniversary, and sometimes even on Justin's birthday- though only once her son was in bed, of course. She had never gotten over Derek, and she knew that she probably never would, no matter how hard she tried. He was too large a part of her to move on from.

None of this made sense to her! Why had he blown off the wedding, if his feelings for Casey were just a _blast from the past_? It made no sense to her; he was known to make half-ass decisions, yes. But decisions as big as this? She honestly couldn't see him making a choice such as that based off sheer nostalgia for their relationship. And what about the last words he had whispered against her ear, only moments before he'd blacked out? He had made a point of ensuring that his final words were used to express to her that he loved her, that his feelings for her were real.

Had that meant nothing? Had he been lying?

Before she knew what was happening, she was flinging the front door open, her entire body shaking, nowhere near the composure she was trying to achieve. Her hair blew off of her face with the warm air that swept into the doorway of Derek's apartment. She didn't much care that she was already overheated- nothing was registering in her mind but the pain, and she wanted nothing more than the numbness she had felt earlier to return, and to overshadow the heartbreak she was feeling. How relaxing it would be, to be able to feel absolutely nothing. To be able to be truly happy for Derek, whatever choice he made.

She was surprised when she turned a corner, and ran straight into someone else- someone who had clearly been coming towards Derek's apartment, for his was the only one in that direction. She was about to apologize, when her eyes fell on the devil herself- Vanessa Williams. The woman was red-cheeked, and if Casey didn't know better, she would think she was blushing. But what would Vanessa have to be ashamed of, right? She didn't feel shame for any of her horrid actions. She had everything- she didn't have time to be embarassed.

But yet the look in the woman's eyes was not the usual superiority that she usually fixed Casey with, whenever the chance presented itself. It was not even the scorn, and the bitterness that usually came along with her gaze. She was almost certain that the look was almost... human. The idea seemed too complex, too unreal to even decode, but it was all she could think of, when she looked at the frowning woman in front of her. She looked almost guilty, and for Vanessa, she wasn't even up to her usual standards. Her hair was lying straight today, draping against her white tank top. Her makeup was almost at a tolerable level today, and she was almost certain that less than an hour had been spent in front of a mirror today.

There's a shocker.

"Casey," Vanessa started, shaking her head, but Casey cut her off, not willing to sit through any crap that this woman was sure to throw at her.

"Not in the mood, Vanessa," she murmered, tears still falling from her eyes. She cursed the sign of weakness, but ignored it as she went on. "If you'll excuse me, I've got better places to be."

She tried to move past Vanessa as easily as possible, as not to create more tension between them, but she felt Vanessa grasp her wrist, and try to keep her there. She could feel panic surfacing in her throat, and she was desperate to escape this situation. She didn't want to break down even further in front of Vanessa, but she knew that it was becoming inevitable. Vanessa's grip was too strong on her wrist to even attempt to get away, and all she could do was glare at her enemy, and shake her head.

"I mean it, Vanessa- let me go," she hissed, clearly angry. "You can have Derek, for all I care. You're what he wants, he's made that much painfully obvious. If he makes it out of this, I'll step aside, and you can just have him. I'm not going to force him to pick me, and I'm not subjecting my son to anymore fighting and... and media attention. We've been through enough."

Vanessa had dropped her wrist, but Casey didn't even move, despite her previous desire to run as far as her legs could carry her. She had so much more to say to Vanessa, and now seemed like the perfect time to let it all out. What better time then when she was already angry, and rearing to go? She had lots of things that she needed to say to this obnoxious demon.

"You know what, Vanessa?" she choked out, her tears tapering off slightly. "I can accept that you did all of this for Derek- I can. I love him even more than you do, and let me tell you that I was willing to fight to the end for him. But when he makes it obvious that he loves you more... well, that's the end for me. I don't give up easily, but if he loves you, why should I pressure him into being with me? I love him enough to step away from all of this."

"Casey, you don't-"

"I'm not finished," she interrupted, her voice determined and steady as she went on. "For you to drag my son into all of this, it was just completely and totally wrong. Everyone else may act as nothing more than a pawn in your little game, but Justin is a child, Vanessa. He is a _little boy_, and an autistic one at that. Do you think his life hasn't been hard enough, having to deal with everything he goes through? God, the boy grew up without a father. He was shuffled back and forth between California and his grandparents, and wherever I was living at the time. And then he got older, and... and he can't even communicate, Vanessa. Do you know how much it means to him that _someone _understands his pain? I may not understand everything he does, but I try my damn hardest. And for you to seperate him from the one person he can always count on... I can't believe you'd do that. His life was complicated enough without you getting involved."

"Casey, really-"

"And how the hell was it fair of you to take away the only person I've got left?" she cried, yelling now. She knew that she was freaking out, but she didn't care; it was all coming out now, and she was more than eager to say exactly how she felt about all of this.

"Justin's all I've had, since I broke up with Derek," she reminded her, shaking her head. "He can barely speak, but his very presence means more than the world, to me. I've already got to miss so much in his life, and you can't imagine how much that kills me. I never got to watch him play with the other kids in his class, I never got to watch as he learned to communicate. If he doesn't get better... I'm... I'm scared that I'll never watch him graduate high school. Everytime I picture him in the future, I just imagine how all the other kids will be going out on first dates, and second dates... and he'll be too drawn away from society to even consider asking anyone out on a date. Do you know how much of his life I've forced myself to part with? There's so much I fear I'll never see, but I deal with it. I immerse myself in the things I do get to see, and that's what makes it alright. But for you to completely ruin that on me... it's not right, Vanessa. It's really not."

"_Casey_!" Vanessa finally cried, clearly frustrated with the girl's ranting. As Casey stopped, she caught sight of the almost sympathetic look in the woman's eyes, and she frowned, feeling suspicion wash over her. Why did Vanessa look apologetic, as though she were guilty of something? It was as though Casey's words had actually affected her, and she actually felt... bad? Vanessa? No way, right?

"You don't understand," Vanessa tried to tell her, but Casey didn't listen. She'd had enough of this pain, and she refused to subject herself to further humiliation.

So she merely nodded, backing away from Vanessa at a relatively normal pace. She would walk away. She would be the bigger person in all of this, she would make sure of it.

"You're right," she said, shrugging her shoulders as she backed up towards the exit, Vanessa making no attempts to stop her. "I _don't _understand. And I don't think I want to."

She was right outside the exit now- she was so close to getting away from Vanessa Williams forever. And right now, nothing could make her happier.

"Stay the _hell_ away from me," she muttered, shaking her head. "And this time, I mean it. If I catch you sneaking around in my business ever again, there will be hell to pay, you got it? You _stay away_ from me, and from my son. We don't need people like you in our lives."

Without another word, she had stormed through the exit, and was running down the stairwell, towards freedom. There was nothing left to run to, anymore. In a world where something made sense to her, she could logically turn to her one release, to the one place where she could not be judged, or ridiculed for her own actions. That comfort zone had once been found in the safety of Derek's arms, for he had never judged her unfairly. He had never forced her to change who she was, to make him happy. It had been what she thought was love, that had kept him loyal by her side. But she understood now that this was not the case. Love wasn't even in the equation anymore, and Derek was the furthest thing from a comfort zone. Derek was the greatest danger of all, to her. He had the power to manipulate her emotions, and he was the only thing powerful enough to make her question her own motives.

She had never suspected that he would use this little talent against her, but it was apparant that he had. He had conned her into believing that he was interested in being with her, when really- it had all been some pent-up lust, leftover from their hormonal teenage years. And while Casey had evolved to a stage where she wanted more than his body, it was clear that Derek had felt nothing more than a physical attraction to her.

And yet, in her mind, she still didn't believe that. Despite everything she had just read in that email, despite the fact that she had been presented with cold-hard facts... she still couldn't believe that Derek had only wanted her for her body. He had told her he loved her, and the emotion in his eyes that one morning had been enough to convince her of that. There was no way he could fake emotion like that. Even if he didn't love her as much as he loved Vanessa, she knew he had to feel something for her. He could not have faked the entire thing.

At least, that was what she told herself. And really, it was all she had to hold onto, right about now, because nothing else made sense to her. She had no one, she had nothing, and if that left her all alone in this world, then she really wasn't sure what she had left to live for.

- - - -

By the time she had reached the hospital again, she had moved past moping, and she was through with trying to convince herself that Derek loved her. It would be much easier to move on if she just accepted that he had lied to her, and that any chance of a future with him was over. Denial wasn't a pretty colour on her, and she was not going to fool herself into a false sense of security anymore. Derek wanted Vanessa, and he could have her. She'd find someone else, right? If there was someone else out there for Derek, there must be someone else for her too. It was only a matter of finding him. Her one mistake the first time had been allowing herself to get so held up on Derek, but she wouldn't make that mistake a second time.

She found herself storming down the hallway towards Derek's room, her eyes narrowed into angry slits, her hands clenched into fists. She didn't care if this made him happy. She'd let him go, yes, but not without a piece of her mind, first. It was okay if he was choosing Vanessa over her, it really was. She would get over it, at some point or another. But what wasn't okay was the fact that he had played with her mind, he had broken her heart. It would've been so much easier to tell her that he loved her, but not enough to leave Vanessa. It would've been enough if he had at least told her that this wasn't a sure thing, and that his mind was in a confused place, right about now.

But he had lied to her. He had ditched the wedding, and gave her the impression that they were going to be together, once everything was over. If he had known in his heart that he would regret making such a choice, why had he done it in the first place? He'd really given the both of them an impression of something final, something definite, and that was unfair to everyone.

She just didn't understand!

As she stormed into Derek's room, her eyes were dry. She knew this might not last long, but it would help to get the tip of her anger out in the open. She did not fear crying, for she knew it was going to happen anyway. She would not get through her little tirade without a tear or two leaving her eyes; that was impossible. The pain she felt was much too real to be ignored, and she knew without a doubt that crying was necessary. It was probably a good thing that Derek was unconcious, because she really had alot to say to him. And even if he woudln't be hearing anything she said to him, it would feel a little bit better to let that anger out- to yell at the right person. If she didn't, she'd wind up yelling at someone completely innocent, and that wasn't fair either. Derek was the source of her anger, and it was Derek who would be feeling her wrath, in a sense. She would not unleash her anger on someone completely innocent to all of this.

The first thing she noticed was that Edwin was sitting by his brother's side, and it was obvious that he had not gone anywhere within the hour and a half that she had been gone. This surprised her, for she honestly thought that he would have chased after her, but she supposed she was like an open book. Maybe Edwin had been able to read her, and had known that she would return to the hospital. Maybe she was just _too_ predictable sometimes. Edwin didn't even look surprised when he looked up from his spot in the chair, and saw his older stepsister storming through the door, crimson flushing her usually paler cheeks.

"Casey," he breathed out, and it was obvious that even though he was not surprised, he was relieved. His eyes had gone relatively soft when she walked into the room, and it could not be denied that he was paler than usual- even paler than he had been when she left. She would have felt bad for worrying him, if she was not so set on her anger towards Derek.

Edwin stood up, moving around the bed and towards her, but she immediately shoved past him, her eyes angry, a lump already rising in the back of her throat. She willed her tears to hold off for just a little bit longer, but she knew that they were coming fast, and that there would be no stopping the tears. She gave up on trying to hold them back, and moved towards Derek's bed, her entire body shaking.

"He's such a _jerk_!" she yelled to no one in particular, shaking her head as the tears fell from her eyes, in no particular pattern. She felt Edwin stirring behind her, obviously confused, but she had no patience for the boy, right now. She had much bigger things on her mind, at the moment.

"Casey," he tried to say, his voice hesitant, but she cut him off, shaking her head.

"He's had me so held up for _seven years_, Edwin!" she screamed, turning around to face the man behind her. His eyes widened, and he took a step backwards, but she followed him, leaning forwards slightly so that she was hovering over him. He looked downright scared now, but she couldn't bring herself to care as she continued to cry, completely shameless to it all.

"Seven years, I've been stuck on him!" she went on, not even listening to him. "Everytime I so much as went on a date, all I could think of was _him_. His stupid hair, his stupid eyes, his stupid- _stupid _smile. All I could ever think about was stupid _Derek_, and I can't _stand_ it. After everything he told me this week, he made me believe he actually fucking _cared!_ Can you believe that, Ed? I thought he cared about me- isn't that funny?"

Edwin was backed up against the wall now, his eyes wide as he tried to figure out where this sudden spurt of emotion had derived from, inside of her. The poor man must have thought she was possessed, but honestly, she didn't give a damn. Derek had made her suffer, he was the reason for her heartbreak right now, and she really needed someone to care about that. She needed someone to tell her that she was not in the wrong, for being angry about this. She desperately needed someone to hold her, and tell her that there was nothing wrong with being angry, here. She wanted to be told that Derek was a jerk for doing this to her, that she wasn't completely delusional, and overreacting.

She just needed reassurance.

"Casey," Edwin said, shaking his head as he attempted to rationalize with her. "Derek cares about you more than anything in the world. I can tell you that with full confidence. Do you think he'd be in this hospital if he didn't care about protecting you?"

"He's in this hospital because he cares about his son!" Casey cried, the tears still falling heavily from her eyes. "Not because of me. He doesn't give a _damn_ about me- he's made that much obvious."

This was a lie, and she knew it. He had even admitted in his email that he cared deeply for her. She knew that it was foolish to say that Derek had a complete disregard for her well-being. He cared, that much she knew. But it was so much easier to exaggerate, to make him out to be the bad guy. He had exaggerated his own feelings, after all- why couldn't she?

"He does care, Case, he really-"

"Don't lie for him!" she yelled, angry with Edwin for defending someone who had hurt her so much- even if it was his own brother. "I'm sick of people lying to me."

Edwin shook his head, his face still screwed up with confusion. She knew that he honestly believed his brother was completely innocent- completely incapable of any wrongdoing. It annoyed her, how people refused to see past Derek's cocky facade- how everyone was so mesmerized by his charming smile and that all too perfect front he put on for the world to see. She hated how easily _she _had allowed herself to be fooled, even after years of exposure to Derek's lies and deceit. How stupid could someone get?

"You don't _understand_, Edwin!" she cried, releasing the collar of his shirt, which she had clenched between her fists almost violently. "You just don't get how much he hurt me."

"By being unconcious?" he questioned, his eyebrows scrunched together with confusion. He shook his head, his eyes cautious and reluctant. "Casey, Derek can't help this. If he could be here with you, he would be. You can't say he doesn't care when he-"

"He loves Vanessa more than he ever loved me, okay?" she choked out, her voice slightly choked up as she voiced the truth aloud for the first time. "He... I don't get it either, but he told her he was sorry, and he told her he regretted choosing me. He... he wants _her_... not me, and I... I-"

She breathed in deeply, her body fighting the urge to turn and run again. She couldn't run from this forever; this was something that would have to be dealt with at one point or another, and she supposed that it was better to get it out of the way now, while the anger was fresh, while she could not feel any deeper pain than this.

"I hate him for it," she sobbed, her heart clenching at the sound of her lie. She knew that she was deceiving Edwin, and that he probably didn't even believe her, but she couldn't help this. It was so much easier to just say that she hated him, and that he meant nothing to her. Because, as much as the words stung, she felt something deeper, something even more powerful stirring inside of her. She felt power, something that she was sure had been zapped from her being the moment she had read that email. She felt stronger, when she belittled what she felt for Derek. If she just pretended he meant nothing, it was easier to act like it was true. She didn't have to let this overcome her; she could fake it, right?

"I hate him," she repeated, almost laughing at the feeling of relief, and pain, that flickered through her. "Do you hear me? I _hate _him."

Edwin was shaking his head, but she turned away from him, looking down at the bed in front of her. Her eyes settled on the source of her pain, and as much as she loved him, she wanted to _kill_ him. She wanted to take him, and shake him until his skin was bruised. She wanted to slap the smug little smile right off of his face. She wanted to see his eyes fill with pain, and more than anything, she wanted to make him hurt. It was a subconcious part of her that argued with this, for she knew that she would never really do any of that- she loved him too much. But on the surface, she wanted to cause him as much pain as he had caused her, by that email.

"Do you understand that, Derek?" she choked out, bitter laughter slipping past her lips as she approached the bed on shaky legs. "I _hate_ you. I hate you so much for everything you put me through- for breaking my heart like this. I'm not mad because you chose her; I'm mad because you led me to believe you had chosen me! You played with my heart, and I _hate _you for it. I hope to God I never have to see your face again!"

She would've said more, but suddenly, she felt cool hands wrap around her wrists, and she found herself moving backwards as her stepbrother pulled her away from the bed, muttering something under his breath. She turned to yell at him, to demand that he release her and let her continue her tirade, but before she could question why he had moved her, she registered that there was suddenly beeping all around her. It was not the steady beeping that she was used to- the comforting sound of Derek's heart monitor- no, this was frantic, desperate beeping, signalling that help was needed.

And as she registered this, there was suddenly doctors rushing around her. She had no idea where they had come from, but the sudden blur of white rushing past her was exhilerating. They raced to Derek's bedside, too concerned with his condition to even bother ushering the two stepsiblings out of the room. It was like Casey and Edwin were completely invisible to the medical officials, but they sure as hell weren't invisible to the doctors. In fact, Casey almost wished that they _were_ invisible, because she wasn't so certain she wanted to hear what they were saying amongst themselves.

"-blood pressure just went way up," one doctor said, hurrying to pull the bedsheets from the unconcious man.

"-heartrate is declining."

"-don't know if he's going to pull out of this one."

"-just get him in here... I think we're losing him."

Everything spun, and she began to lose control of her own legs. The words around her dissovled into mere snippets of conversation, none of which made sense to her. People were talking, and the colours moved in front of her, but nothing seemed to be following any predictable pattern. She felt her own breathing become more and more difficult, and everything started to fade in... the edges growing fuzzier and fuzzier by the moment.

And she guessed that was when she blacked out.

* * *

** I really don't like the way this was written, and I feel like it is very sloppy and rushed. I apologize, but it is really hard to write when you're being jostled around all week. Vacation is the hardest time to write, but I will be home in a few days, and will be back to regular updates. I hope you put up with this one.**

**On a side note, I know this is all confusing, and I'm sure you noticed alot of things don't piece together. Don't worry, it will all be explained in the next chapter. Don't hate Vanessa just yet, by the way. She's not as evil as she seems.**

**Review please. **


	33. Replacement for Derek

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Replacement for Derek**

It was extremely difficult to stay mad at someone who was dying. Hell, it was difficult for Casey to even admit that Derek was dying, let alone face that she was angry with him. She couldn't deny that she was still angry with him for what he had done; the pain was too strong to fade entirely, just because he was in so much danger. She could not forget the sight of Derek's messages to Vanessa, written across the screen, built to destroy everything she had worked to strengthen. She had just been so sure that she had his heart, that they were going to be together- once this was all over. She was ashamed to admit it, but she had been subconciously planning out their future, whenever her mind would allow her to think positively.

She could see it all, in the shadows of her mind. She could picture so easily how well the three of them would blend into one little family, so sickeningly happy together. She could see, in her mind's eye, how Justin would continue to progress, talking and laughing more and more, like he had since his father came around. Maybe he'd eventually get into a regular classroom, like other kids his age, and he'd bring the two of them home his test marks, something she was sure she would always be proud of. They would walk together in the park, Derek holding onto her hand, Justin running along next to them with Jade's leash in hand. In the nighttimes, they would put Justin to bed, and they could spend _hours_ just talking to each other, about anything and everything- whatever they liked. They would talk about nothing at all, and yet everything at the same time. And when she got so tired that her eyelids were screaming at her to just give into the fatigue, she would lie back in Derek's arms, and smile to herself as she heard those three little words whispered into her ear. She knew that a night would not pass where he would not remind her that he loved her; he had been too protective to let a day go by without telling her, before. She knew that their life may not have been perfect- they would've fought, no doubt about that. They would not be themselves if they didn't get into a couple of fights somewhere down the line. But their fights kept them together sometimes, and she knew that- in the long run, their love would've been alot stronger than their dislike for each other's decisions, at times.

But all it took was a quick flashback to that email message, and the all too perfect future that she had planned so thoroughly would disappear in a flash. Everything could be so easily erased, when Vanessa was brought into the picture, and she knew that Vanessa had her own future planned out with Derek as well. She wasn't even too sure what was so bright about a future that involved Vanessa and Derek, but she supposed that Vanessa had held her own expectations. Well she could damn well have them fulfilled, if Derek made it out, because it was apparant who Derek would be spending his time with, once he woke up.

She had been alone in the waiting room for a good half an hour, waiting for news, when the door finally opened, bringing with it a slight breeze from the open window at the end of the hall. Casey's head immediately shot up, in hopes that it would be a doctor with good news, but the excitement on her face drained away when she caught sight of Edwin closing the door behind him. He turned slightly, and offered Casey an exhausted, yet sheepish grin.

"They've got him stabalized again," he managed to say, and Casey felt her heartbeat resume, something she had not realize had been affected, by this. She knew then that she had been even more worried than she had originally realized, but she supposed that it was to be expected. Nonetheless, she gave a sigh of relief, and nodded her head as she stared down at the floor, her face void of any emotion.

"That's good then," she whispered, her voice almost inaudible. "Really good. Now he can wake up and go finish what he started."

Edwin frowned slightly, perhaps picking up on her bitterness, and he crossed the room to where she was sitting. Raising an eyebrow, he shifted into the seat next to her, and gave her a slightly confused look.

"And that would be?" he questioned, knowing she would not continue unless prompted.

Blushing, she shrugged, shuffling her feet together on the floor in front of her.

"Breaking my heart," she whispered shamefully, a bitter edge lacing her voice. "Not like there's much left to break, I guess- but he can have fun with what's left."

She knew that Edwin was not following in the slightest, and she couldn't blame him; he had no idea about the email message. He had absolutely no clue that the brother that he cherished so much had done so much to destroy Csaey. She was almost fearful of telling him, for she knew how much he worshipped his older brother, and she was unsure of whether or not her usual protector would side against her, and defend his odler brother. It wasn't that she didn't trust her stepbrother, but he did have a tendency of siding with the famous Derek Venturi on anything and everything. She supposed she could not blame him for this; Lizzie would probably do the same for her. It was just natural sibling loyalty, she supposed.

"How is Derek breaking your heart, Case?" he asked, moving closer to her slightly. "He's unconcious- there's not really much he can be doing to hurt you. I mean, you were perfectly fine with him before you left, despite the whole tirade you gave me. What exactly is it you think he did?"

She shifted uncomortably, still unsure as to whether or not telling Edwin everything would be the right move. Would he turn on her, even after all of this? Would he walk away, after he had helped her through so much trouble already? Would going against his hero be too much to take, for her younger stepbrother? She was unsure, but she knew that trying would really do her no harm. The worst that coul happen would be her protector turning against her, and really, she was used to fending for herself, wasn't she? What was one more stab at her dignity, right?

"He messaged Vanessa," she said quietly, drawing in a shaky breath. "He apologized to her for blowing off the wedding. He told her that he wants forgiveness... a... a second chance. He told her he loved her m-more than he ever loved me... and he said she was everything to him."

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registered that Edwin had taken her hand, maybe to comfort her, but her more sensible side did not register the action; she was too distracted by the retelling of her own pain. She kept on going, knowing that- if she gave herself a chance to stop and think about it, she would cry. And crying was most definitely something she wanted to avoid, at this point.

"He called everything that happened with me some... some _blast from the past_, and he said it was all a mistake... he... he wasn't thinking," she paused, cringing, but then straightened up and brushed it off, acting as though she was over it, as though she was just acting out of nostalgia. "But it doesn't matter," she continued, shrugging. "If he wants to act like an idiot, let him. If he can find someone else that easily, so can I. It's not like he owns me. There are other guys in my life that care about me."

She paused, before turning to Edwin, the tiniest hint of a smile on her face.

"Like you," she said suddenly, a hint of hesitance in her voice. "You're always there for me, aren't you?"

Edwin shifted uncomfortably, his eyes suddenly flickering with something that she could not pinpoint. His hand tensed around hers, and she noticed that- while his hold was nothing like Derek's, it was actually quite comforting. His hand felt strong around hers, and really, all she needed was for someone to show a bit of strength, around her. It was as though she was the weak one in all of this, and she needed that strong, guiding hand. She was not used to being the one who needed assistance.

Nonetheless, as she smiled at Edwin, he merely shrugged his shoulders, as though he was trying to be a bit modest.

"I guess so," he murmered, blushing, and finally he nodded in agreement with her statement. "I mean, yeah... yeah you know I'm always here for you, Case. You can always count on me."

"I know," she murmered, squeezing his hand gently. "I've been meaning to thank you... you know, for being here for me this week. I mean, I know me and you never really... well, talked about anything before. When we lived together, it was more of a... mutual agreement that we just co-existed. We didn't really..."

"-connect," Edwin finished for her quietly, his eyes on the floor. "I know. It's understandable, really. I mean, you had Derek- it made sense, he was your age. And age meant everything, at the time. Me and Lizzie connected, and you and Derek... well, you got there eventually."

There was silence, and Casey thought hard about what she wanted to say next. It was very personal, and she knew that he might get embarassed, but she really wanted to know. She had always wondered about his relationship with her younger sister, especially after her and Derek had broken the ice by announcing their relationship. She had never worked up the courage to ask either of the younger ones where they stood.

"Did you and my sister..." she started, shifting uncomfortably. "Did you ever... were you ever..."

"Together?" Edwin asked, tilting his head slightly, but keeping his gaze fixed on the ground. She nodded, and he shook his head truthfully. "No. Me and her... we never had that sort of attraction to each other. I mean, out of the four of us... me and Liz are the two you'd expect would end up in a relationship, I guess. We hit it off from the very beginning, and you and Derek practically hated each other for a good year or so. But me and her never had those feelings for each other."

Casey didn't say anything; she didn't know what she was supposed to say to something like that. Luckily, he saw fit to continue by himself, and she was quite content to sit there and listen to him.

"We talked about it, once," he admitted, and Casey turned her head at this, interested. He frowned, blushing a little as he bit on his lower lip. She knew that he was fighting some sort of personal battle in his mind, and she was torn between asking him about it, or giving him a moment to himself. She knew that, if he was going to tell her, he would probably need a moment to gather his thoughts, but yet she could not find it in her to speak, so it wasn't a big issue anyway.

The ten seconds that passed felt like a decade, and she was very relieved when he finally spoke up, his eyes raising to meet with hers. She was surprised when he looked embarassed, and she wanted nothing more than to know what was on the boy's mind- to know what was bugging him. But before she could ask him, he had spoken up.

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell _anyone_?" he questioned, studying her with narrowed, suspicious eyes. "I mean it, Casey. I don't even want you telling Lizzie I told you about it. It's something we don't talk about, and we promised each other not to tell anyone about it. But... I can make an exception, for you."

Casey nodded, placing a hand on her chest- right over her heart, and giving him her most honest smile.

"I promise," she said, relieved when her voice came out steady. "Cross my heart, hope to die."

Edwin rolled his eyes, and the workings of a smile tugged at his lips, only fading when he looked down again. One of his hands was still holding hers, out of comfort, but the other was picking at the loose ends of the cushion of his seat, as though he were nervous about something. She knew that whatever this was, it must be big, and she smiled at him, tilting her head slightly.

"Come on, Ed," she coaxed, using her sweetest voice. "You can tell me. What is it?"

He squinted at the floor, contemplating this one last time, but she already knew she had him. The defeat in his eyes was too much to fight off, and within a moment, he had looked back up at her, a guilty look on his face.

"Do you remember the night you and Derek told our parents you were together?" he asked, his voice slightly strained as he spoke. He didn't wait for a response, before he had gone on. "Well... that night, after everyone found out... me and Liz were up in the games closet, talking."

"You two and your games closet," she said softly, smiling fondly at the memory. "The two of you always had yourself holed up in there. To be truthful, I'm actually surprised that nothing happened between the two of you, with the way you pinned yourself together in that closet every single day."

Edwin did not smile, and his blush only grew deeper as he nodded, looking down towards the floor again.

"That's the thing," he said, sighing heavily. "Something did happen."

Sensing that he had her full attention, he went on, his eyebrows creased together slightly.

"The night that you and Derek told everyone you were together... well, me and Liz sort of went upstairs and talked about it," he admitted, his voice strained under pressure. "We were trying to come to terms with... with what that meant, and to be honest, we were both a bit confused. Don't get me wrong, you didn't like... traumatize us, or anything. But we were sort of curious as to whether or not me and her... whether or not we could... have that sort of relationship, you know?"

Casey was watching her stepbrother with wide eyes, and he went on, knowing that she was not a bit distracted from this conversation.

"So anyway," he went on, sighing heavily. "We were only fourteen... we were idiots, I guess. We kissed, just to see if we could... I dunno, feel anything. Honestly, I don't know what I expected, but... there was nothing, and I'm glad. She didn't feel anything, and neither did I. Me and her, we're just best friends. She's my sister, like Marti is... like you are, and what happened that day proved it. It was sort of awkward for a day or so, but we got over it, and I'm really glad it turned out like it did. The last thing I'd want is for me and her to have jumped into some relationship, and ruined our friendship. My friendship with Liz means the world to me, and I just want her to be happy. I've never felt anything for her in that way, and I believe her when she tells me she feels nothing for me, either. It's just... it was too weird. We just see each other differently than you and Derek view each other, I guess."

Casey nodded, and although she had so many more questions to ask Edwin on that matter, she decided that it was not worth it. What had happened was in the past, and it was obvious that there was nothing between Edwin and Lizzie but pure friendship, and love in a different sort of way. She would not interfere with that by asking stupid questions, and digging up old mistakes from his past. She refused to be one of those people who caused pain through interference, like Vanessa so often did.

"I understand how you must have felt," she said, wanting Edwin to know that she didn't think any worse of him, because of their experiment. "You two were barely teenagers, Ed. You were probably confused, and Derek and I can take partial blame for that. We introduced something completely taboo to our family at the time, and I know it must have affected you guys as well. I guess we weren't really thinking about how it would impact you guys. You were so young... we didn't think..."

"It's over with, it was nothing," Edwin said, shrugging his shoulders. "Lizzie's my sister, and I'll always love her like a sister. Nothing more. It was just different, with us."

Casey nodded, understanding, and she decided not to dive further into the matter. Just as she and Derek had their own history, so did they, and it was in no way her business to worm her way into that.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise," she said honestly, sighing as she squeezed his hand. "It's all in the past. And I'm... I'm really glad you trust me enough to tell me these kinds of things. It means alot, you know."

He nodded, and for some reason, he looked slightly uncomfortable again. She could not make any sense of the emotion, but she supposed that she could be imagining things again. It wasn't uncommon for her to jump to conclusions, right? But still, the troubled look in Edwin's eyes worried her, and she knew that it would bug her until she called him out on it.

Moving closer to him, she put on her best smile, raising an eyebrow at the man.

"Everything okay, Ed?" she asked, hoping he wasn't upset with her for some reason. "You look sort of... distracted."

Edwin bit his lower lip gently, narrowing his eyes as he studied the pattern of the hospital floor. He was thinking hard, that much was easy to see, and she knew then that there really was something on his mind that she was unaware of. The only question was- would he confide in her?

"You can tell me," she persuaded, trying to give him the impression that she could be trusted- she was not going to judge him.

Regardless of her reassurance, he still looked hesitant, but she knew that she had won. She knew that he would tell her whatever it was she wanted to know.

Taking a deep breath, Edwin looked up, and it worried her that he suddenly looked embarassed, as though he really didn't want to be telling her this.

"You're becoming really dependant on me, Casey," he said, his voice suddenly strained. "I mean, I'm not saying that I mind it, but it's like you're trying to... call me crazy, but it's like you're replacing Derek with me."

He paused, squinting as he waited for her reaction. She was silent, and she could feel her cheeks blushing crimson as she narrowed her eyes at him, trying her best to decode what he was saying. He couldn't possibly be accusing her of what she thought he was. She would never put Edwin in Derek's place. He had to know that, right?

Shaking her head, she screwed her face up with confusion, unsure of what to say.

"I'm not doing that- not at all," she said, and it alarmed her when she realized that she did not sound convincing. He still looked doubtful, and she rushed on, her voice suddenly panicked. "I'm not _trying _to do that, really I'm not. I... I would never replace... you've got it all wrong."

"Do I?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow. "Casey, you come to me with everything, lately. Don't get me wrong here, because I don't have a single problem with helping you through this. You know I care about you, and you know that I'll always be here when you need me. But for the past few years, we've barely even spoken, and suddenly... you're all over me. Whenever you're upset, you come to me, and it's like... you won't even go near anyone else. I don't know if you've noticed this, but Lizzie and Marti have been trying to talk to you for days, and you keep pushing them away. They've tried comforting you, and... you're like a robot. You give them one word answers... it's like you're looking right through them. But then I come along, and it's like..."

He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders, and they fell into an awkward silence, both of them too scared to speak. Casey was blushing red by now, she was sure of it, and Edwin seemed to be searching for something safe to say, something that would continue the conversation without turning it into an argument.

"I'm not Derek, Casey," was all he could think of, as he gave a careless shrug of the shoulder. "I have absolutely no problem with giving you a shoulder to cry on, but I want you to distinguish between the two of us. There's me, and then there's my brother. I need you to put some sort of a boundary line between us, because right now, I honestly don't think you know where that line is."

She was staring at the floor now, offended by the way Edwin was treating her. Did he honestly think that she could not distinguish beteween the love of her life, and her younger stepbrother? She knew where that line was, didn't she?

..._didn't she_?

She was suddenly unsure. She thought back to the past few days, and the way that her sisters had been trying to communicate with her. She had barely given them a second glance, and it occured to her that- if she could not remember shoving them away, then maybe she really had been out of it. Maybe Edwin was onto something.

She looked up at him, and he seemed to realize that she knew he was right- to some extent. Nonetheless, she knew that she could not completely deny what she had been unintentionally doing. Derek was not the only one who could call her out on her bullshit; she knew Edwin would recognize her lie in a heartbeat.

"Edwin," she said, a frown gracing her lips as she began to process everything. "Ed... I'm... I'm not trying to replace your brother with you- not at all. Maybe I've been doing it unknowingly, but I'll... I'll stop. I never meant to make you feel like I was... using you or something. I'm... I'm so sorry, Ed."

Edwin hesitated for a moment, as though debating whether or not her apology was sincere, but any traces of doubt in his mind vanished when he saw the broken look on her face. She wasn't sure which she was most upset about- the email message she had read on Derek's computer, or the fact that she had been freezing out the people who had been trying to help her. In her heart, she knew that she was mourning more for her lost relationship with Derek, but she did not want to admit that to herself. She did not want to seem like the sort of person who only cared about one thing and one thing only.

Sighing, Edwin offered her a tired smile, and squeezed her hand gently- trying to reassure her.

"Don't be sorry," he said, and she was relieved to hear he sounded completely okay with her again. "It's not really your fault. I mean, you've had so much on your mind lately with Derek in hospital, and Justin being all over the place like he is. To be honest, you're probably reacting better than alot of other people would."

Smiling to herself, she realized that he was probably lying, just to make her feel better. She was pretty sure that there was no one who would have handled this situation like she had handled it. She had punched bodygaurds and popstars in the face, she had broken into churches, she had yelled at a man who was unconcious, and she had treated her younger stepbrother like some sort of personal hero, all for her own benefit. If Edwin thought that she was handling the situation well, then Edwin was purely delusional- there was no other word for it.

Before either of them could utter another word, there was the sound of someone clearing their throat across the room, and they both looked up to see Vanessa standing there, watching the pair with a hesitant look on her face. Casey's first instinct, upon seeing her, was always to take in how much time and effort she had put into her wardrobe and face, that day. Usually, she looked stunning enough that it would've required a two hour visit to the mirror, but today- it was like she might have cut it down to a half an hour, maybe even less. She looked tired, she looked worn, and what's more, she looked like she had been through hell and back, in the past few days.

Before Casey could say anything, she had taken a step forwards, closing the waiting room door behind her.

"Casey," she said, her voice strained, and almost nervous. "We've got alot of talking to do."

* * *

**So this was mostly a filler; the next chapter is EXTREMELY important, and will basically settle the matter of who Derek really wants, whether or not Justin will be returning to Casey, if Derek will make it out of this... everything will be touched on in the next chapter. I am back from vacation now so I should be updating more when I'm not working.**

**Review, and let me know what you think. Haven't gotten as many reviews for the past few chapters, so if you're interested, I'd love to hear from you and hear your thoughts on the story! Anything is helpful. **

**I'll post more soon. **


	34. One Moment

**Shellie, I worked extra hard to get another chapter out before you went! Hope you enjoy it. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Thirty-Four: One Moment**

Casey was going to massacre Edwin. When she laid hands on that boy, he was going to regret leaving her alone to deal with Vanessa all by herself. Upon Vanessa's request to Casey that they have a little chat, Edwin had quickly excused himself, saying that they deserved some privacy, for something like this. Did Edwin honestly believe that _privacy_ was what she wanted, when it came to Vanessa? Hell, she didn't need privacy; she just needed someone to be there to stop her from strangling the girl with her own two hands. She was already up on assault charges- she didn't need murder charges on her hands as well. She wasn't really a big fan of prison stripes.

But yet here she was, sitting awkwardly in the same chair that Edwin had left her in only moments before. Her eyes were fixed hesitantly on the white floor beneath their feet, and she would not look up at her enemy. She hated admitting it, but the only logical explanation that she could come up with for not so much as glancing at Vanessa, was that she could not stand to look into the face of everything she wasn't- of everything that Derek wanted, in a girl. She did not want to look at Vanessa, and know that this woman was everything she lacked, and in turn, everything Derek desired. It hurt too much to know that she had Derek, and Casey had nothing, anymore. Everything she had ever believed about love was a lie, and it was all because of the woman standing in front of her. What could she possibly have to say to Casey? The two of them had to stop crossing paths like this- all it did was cause more pain for the both of them.

Really, they should've learned by now.

"You wouldn't listen to me, back at the apartment building," Vanessa finally said, breaking the silence. "I figured I'd find you here."

Casey frowned, but did not look up as she furrowed her eyebrows together, confused. Vanessa had chased her all the way across town just to tell her what Casey had refused to listen to, before? Honestly, she didn't understand why Vanessa was even trying. Why should she care if Casey was hurting or not? She had the man, she'd gotten Justin taken away from Casey- there was nothing left that she could destroy, in Casey's life. And that was the only thing that kept her positive right about now, was that the worst had already happened. She'd lost Derek, and she'd lost her son, for the time being. Vanessa had already taken away everything that mattered to her. She would feel no more pain.

Vanessa seemed to sense Casey's confusion, for she quickly went on, not waiting for any sort of a response.

"I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to, and believe me, you're not exactly on my list of top ten people to be around," she went on, cringing as she paused. "-but there's a few things we need to sort out, and I need you to just bear with me, here. You can storm out all you want afterwards, but you need to hear what I have to tell you. If you don't... well, it'll be your loss in the end, and I know you'll regret not listening to me. So just... shut up, and follow along, okay?"

At this, Casey managed to raise her gaze from the floor, her eyes stopping on Vanessa's face- screwed up with frustration and reluctance. Casey knew instantly that Vanessa did not want to make things right between them anymore than she did. It was almost as though someone was controlling her- like those string puppets. It was like someone was pulling on her strings, forcing her into doing everything she did not want to do.

But she wanted to get this over with as fast as possible, and she knew that it would be very immature of her to freeze Vanessa out, when this was obviously so important. Refusing to listen to reason was the sort of thing that Vanessa did, and the last thing Casey wanted was to be like Vanessa. She would die, before she would want to be held up to the same level of maturity as this fool.

Sighing, she rolled her eyes, leaning her body back against the cool plastic of the hospital chair. She raised her eyebrows, folding her arms pointedly across her chest.

"Go on, then."

Vanessa cringed at Casey's reluctance, and obvious bitterness, but she ignored it as she went on, not bothering to bring up the tension between the two of them. There was no need for useless arguing, today. They had enough to discuss, apparantly, even if Casey had no idea what any of this meant.

"I'm guessing you found the email," Vanessa observed, more of a statement than a question. When Casey nodded, she sighed and went on. "That's what I figured. I was actually on my way over to his apartment today to... to delete that message. To be honest, it's... well, it's something I didn't want you to read."

"You think?"

Her words were sarcastic, designed to prove that she was not willing to put up with any crap, but she knew just as well as Vanessa did that she was growing weaker with every passing moment. There was only so much she could take, and she had gone past her pressure point the moment she'd read that email. Hell, she'd probably gone beyond her pressure point the moment Derek had fallen unconcious. There really wasn't much more that she could handle, especially from someone she loathed so deeply.

"The email wasn't what you thought," she breathed out, shaking her head to show Casey that she had it all wrong. "To be honest, I was surprised when you actually believed it. Really, how much faith do you have in Derek, that you honestly thought he'd say anything like that?"

Casey was beyond confused, right now. Nothing that Vanessa had just said had registered in her mind as logical, or sensible. Up until today, everything had made sense- to some degree. Maybe her entire world had still been tipped at an unbearable slant, but she had been secured with the knowledge that, whether or not Derek lived or died, he had loved her. To Casey, that was all that had been keeping her going, was that she was loved by the one person who meant the world to her.

But now, she had no idea what to think. Derek had told her he loved her, his email had told her otherwise, and now... well now, she wasn't sure what Vanessa was trying to tell her, or what she should believe.

"I don't get it," she said honestly, her voice sounding sincerely dedicated to their conversation, for once. "What are you trying to tell me- that this was all a setup, of some sorts? That I shouldn't have believed what I..."

She trailed off as she saw the color of Vanessa's cheeks- a crimson blush that could only signal one main emotion. Guilt, not to mention shame, and slight reluctance. She knew by the look in Vanessa's eyes that she was hiding something. And she knew by the stare she was being fixed with that she was an idiot for ever believing a word of that email. She should've listened to what her heart should've been telling her all along- that Derek loved her, and that this really had been some big setup.

Drawing in a deep breath, she stood up, crossing her arms across her chest. She was shaking, though she wasn't sure why, and she found herself squinting at Vanessa, as though searching for some hint of confirmation.

"That's exactly what this is about, isn't it?" she questioned, already knowing the answer. "This _was_ some sort of a setup, am I right?"

Vanessa's silence told everything, and as the woman stared down at the floor with guilt flooding her eyes, Casey felt two strong waves of emotion wash over her. The first was, understandably, guilt. She had just gone into Derek's room and had a fit at him. She had yelled at him, she had told him that she hated him. And somehow, even in his unconcious state, he had managed to hear her words. She knew with every inch of her heart that she had been the source of his high blood pressure. And now, knowing the mistake she had made, she felt absolutely horrible about herself. She had almost killed Derek, and all because she had lost faith in him.

And really, she felt like a fool for even allowing herself to do so. After the many times that Derek had told her he loved her, after everything that he had gone through to ensure her happness... how could she have let a couple of digitalized words shake her faith in him? Really, there were millions of computers in the world. Anyone could've set her up like this. Words could be easily made up, to decieve her into believing just about anything. But nothing should have shaken her faith in him- not when she knew how much emotion radiated off of him when he looked into her eyes. She had felt it in his every word, his every smile, his every kiss. He loved her, with every fibre of his being, and she had been a complete idiot to ever think otherwise. She was ashamed of herself for having such little faith in the man she claimed to love so much.

The second emotion, almost as powerful as the first, was relief. It was understandable to feel relief, when one of the biggest heartbreaks you had ever experienced was suddenly vindicated of all wrongdoing. She felt relief, in the knowledge that what she had believed before today still held to be true. Derek loved her. Their family was not going to be a thing of the distant past. When and if he got out of this thing, they would be together. There was no doubt in her mind, anymore.

But as she allowed those two emotions to settle into her being, a third one started to settle in- though not nearly as strong as the first two had been. As she allowed herself to accept the good things about this situation, she also began to rationalize what this had to mean.

Vanessa had set her up. She was not sure why this surprised her in the slightest, after everything the popstar had done to destroy her life, but for some reason, this really pushed the scale for her. Everything that Vanessa had done before had been a direct attack at Casey's credibility. She had downright accused her of assault, she had made her out to be a horrible mother, she had said cruel things to her... but these were all things that she had taken personal responsibility for. Everything that she had done to affect Casey's life, had been a personalized attempt at sabotage.

But this was quite different. In this case, she had done something under someone else's name. She had taken Derek's condition for granted, and she had impersonated him to destroy one of the only things he cared about in his life. And to Casey, that had to be as low as you could go. As much as she despised Vanessa, she loved Derek enough to let him be with whoever he wanted to be with. Loving someone meant letting them be with the one who made them happy, and if Vanessa could not allow Derek his happiness, she was even lower than Casey had ever imagined.

And suddenly, she was re-folding her arms across her chest, her eyes narrowed into angry slits as she stood up, taking a step towards Vanessa. She shook her head at the woman as she tried to put her disgust into semi-civil words.

"You disgust me."

Okay, so much for civil.

Apparantly, it did not phase Vanessa, for a cringe did not so much as pass by her stunning features. Instead, she raised her gaze shamefully to meet Casey's, before she nodded her head, as though she was choosing to agree with this statement.

"I know," she admitted, her voice surprisingly honest, and sincere. "I... I disgust myself, when I think of what I did."

There was a pause, and they both knew that more explanation was going to be needed, as to how this had happened. They could not move forwards unless Casey knew the entire story, and it appeared that Vanessa was the only one who possessed this knowledge.

So Vanessa took a deep breath, and crossed the room. She brushed past Csey, and sat down on the chair that Casey had just been occupying. As she placed her head in her hands, her fingers threading through her hair, Casey was torn between yelling, or listening to whatever it was Vanessa was going to tell her. She knew that listening was the mature thing to do in this situation, but yelling seemed much more satisfactory, to Casey.

However, the mature and decent side of her won out, and she sighed, before taking a seat in the chair next to Vanessa. She bit down on her lower lip gently as she waited for Vanessa to open her mouth and get on with it. She could have easily been snappy, and insisted that the woman hurry up, but even Casey did not have the heart to be rude and impatient with someone who was so obviously trying hard to do the right thing. She could tell that this was a struggle for Vanessa, and she knew that she should just be happy that she was choosing to tell her at all. The truth would come out, when Vanessa was ready to tell her.

And within a moment or two, it was apparant that Vanessa had gathered her thoughts, and her courage. As she lifted her head from her hands, her gaze was torn, and she looked at Casey as though this was the last thing in the world she wanted to be doing. Regardless of her preferences, she went on.

"The night of his fall, you'll remember that I took a couple of hours to get to the hospital," she said, her voice strained as she spoke. Casey nodded, and she went on. "Right. Well, I was actually trying my best to hack his email, but it wasn't really working. I didn't have a clue what his password was, and I couldn't change it. I tried to get into his apartment, because I know that Derek keeps his email open on his home computer, but the door was locked."

She paused for breath, at which Casey nodded, paying absolute attention to her.

"Go on," she urged, wanting to know more. Vanessa hesitated, not really comfortable with being told what to do, but she shoved any bitterness aside in favour of retelling her story.

"Right," she went on, swallowing her pride. "So basically, I showed up at the hospital, and you told me how Derek was doing. I could tell by the way you talked to me that something had happened between the two of you. You basically admitted it to my face, and I... I wasn't okay with that. I knew without a doubt that when Derek woke up... he'd have to make a choice. And there wasn't even a question in my mind about who he would choose, when the time came."

She paused, waiting to see if Casey wanted to throw something in there. When no words were spoken, she sighed, and went on as though she had never paused at all.

"So I waited until you left the hospital," she went on, sounding as though she had all of this perfectly memorized- almost like a speech. "I followed you to see where you'd go, and when you went to Derek's apartment, I saw that you were carrying a bag upstairs to his place. I figured that it must just be whatever they had salvaged off of him, and I knew that that might include his cellphone."

Casey closed her eyes, her mind flashing back to the cellphone that she had seen placed on the kitchen table, when she had been in Derek's apartment earlier. Of course. She had left that phone out in plain view, for anyone to use. Why hadn't this occured to her earlier today? She had seen the phone, and she still hadn't pieced it together. She wanted to slap herself for being so dense.

"So I went upstairs, and waited down the hallway, sort of behind those vending machines, you know? I was contemplating how I was going to get into his apartment, when I saw you leave without locking the place up again," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "I guess you had alot on your mind that night, but the second you had gone, I rushed down the hall and went inside. I could've just used his email like I'd planned from the beginning, but I knew the phone would be more practical. You would've been with him all afternoon- you would've known that he hadn't stepped foot near a computer all day."

Casey nodded, her face serious as she listened, and Vanessa continued, sounding like she wished she had never told Casey any of this.

"I went down to my car and got my laptop," she admitted, tangling her fingers together in front of her knees, apparantly bored with the story. "I brought it upstairs, and then I just sent the messages back and forth between his phone, and my email. It was quick, and it was easy. I knew that you wouldn't bother to look at the time of the emails, but if you had, you would've noticed that they were sent early the next morning. The day after Derek's fall. I was counting on you not tuning into that, and then I made sure that I opened the final email from myself on his computer, so that you would see it if you showed up at his apartment again. I left his phone in the exact same spot, and kept the computer running. I locked the door when I left, figuring you wouldn't notice it, and I never told a soul."

Casey knew that this was the end, and she watched as Vanessa turned her head to examine the woman, to see how much trouble she was probably in.

"I'm not saying that I did any of this because I like you, or because I want to make things right with you," she went on, a bit of bitterness returning to her voice as she shook her head. "Honestly, I can't stand you, and no offense meant, but I don't understand how the hell Derek could ever choose someone like you over me. It still bugs me, that even with everything I could offer him... he picked you."

Casey opened her mouth to give Vanessa a nice little lecture about what it meant to really care about someone, but Vanessa cut her off by holding up a hand, and rolling her eyes, nodding.

"I know, I know- _love_," she mimicked, sounding slightly pained at the word. "He loves you- you don't need to tell me that. It already haunts me, okay?"

Casey nodded, not wanting to upset the woman who was trying so hard to mend what she had gone out of her way to destroy. The last thing she wanted was for an argument to break out, and for Vanessa to storm off without finishing off her explanation. Keeping her mouth shut had worked so far, she figured she could hold out for a few more moments of Vanessa's explanation.

Seeing that Casey was agreeing to staying silent, Vanessa went on, straightening up and leaning back against her chair casually. She stared across the room, her eyes fixed on some point on the pale blue wall, and she shrugged her shoulders as she let out a deep breath.

"It may not seem like it to you, but I really do love him," she said, and the sincerity in her voice was enough to make Casey believe her. "My lifestyle is really different than yours, and I'm not used to having to put anyone before myself, as selfish as it sounds. I may love him, but I'm really not ready to be in a relationship like that, if I keep hurting him, like I have. It's obvious to me that you love him alot more than I do. You may have never liked me, but you tried your best to get along with me- I could sense that from the start. There was never a time when you went out of your way to hurt me, like I did to you, and I guess that sort of proves who he should really be with."

Casey's mouth hung slightly open in shock, and she could only stare as she was faced with a decent side of Vanessa Williams- for the first time in history. The idea of Vanessa admitting defeat was almost unimagineable, to Casey. She was pretty sure that this was a first, for Vanessa.

Before she could say anything, Vanessa had stood up, and was smoothing out the wrinkles in her shirt. She had rearranged her features to her usual level of composure, and the moment her shirt was perfect, her hand was at her hair, smoothing it down past her shoulders carefully. When she looked at Casey, her eyes were cold and uncaring, and Casey felt the shift between them occur instantly. They were back on their usual ground now. There would be no more Miss Nice Girl, no more confessions of wrongdoing, or of defeat. The real Vanessa was back, and as weird as it felt to admit it, Casey was glad. She wasn't sure how much more of Vanessa's nice side she could comprehend. The thought was just too weird.

"Your son is downstairs," Vanessa said, her voice void of emotion as she picked up her purse. "I left him with your stepsister in the cafeteria."

Casey stood up, her entire body shaking with excitement as her eyes lit up with hope. She could feel eyes twinkling with anticipation, and she found herself grinning like an idiot at the thought of having her little boy back.

"Justin's here?" she asked, probably more excited than she should've been, but not caring. "For how long? When does he have to go? Did you-"

Vanessa held up a hand, her eyes widening at the brighter side of Casey she had not witnessed before. She took a step backwards, feeling uncomfortable, and it occured to Casey then that she had been standing just a tad bit too close for either of their comfort. Sensing her over-excitement, she took a step back herself, clearing her throat as she struggled to regain her composure.

"Sorry," she said quickly, her voice still unsurprisingly upbeat. "But why is my son here, not that I'm complaining?"

Adjusting her purse on her shoulder, Vanessa shrugged her shoulders, and Casey could've sworn there was the slightest hint of a smile on her lips, though it could've just been the trick of the lighting.

"I dropped the charges," she said non-chalantly, as though it were no big deal. "I figure Derek will have a fit if he wakes up and his son isn't there to greet him. If he's already picked you, there's really no point in me keeping him away from you anymore, is there?"

Casey folded her arms across her chest, smirking as she raised an eyebrow at an unsuspecting Vanessa.

"Maybe that's not it at all," she suggested, her suspicions growing even stronger. "Maybe you really do have a soft side, Vanessa."

Vanessa frowned, her eyebrows creasing together as she took a step backwards, shaking her head.

"Maybe you're pushing your luck, McDonald."

Casey sighed, knowing that there would be no more confessions from Vanessa, today. She had been lucky to get what she had already gained, and she should just leave it at that. The two women would never fully like each other, and there would always be that bitter rivalry between the two of them, because of their love for the same man. Even if Vanessa were to move on and find someone new, Casey had a feeling that their two personalities would always clash just a little bit too much. They would never fully be able to forgive each other's actions, and she knew that neither of them really wanted to.

But at the same time, they could be civil, for Derek's sake, and she knew that this was all that would keep them from each other's throats, on most days. It was an uncomfortable truce, but it was the best that either of them could summon up, and that would have to do.

Forcing the tiniest of smiles, Casey extended a hand, one eyebrow still raised suggestively.

"See you around, then?" she questioned, hoping that she was wrong, but knowing that seeing Vanessa would be essential, considering she was one of Derek's clients.

Vanessa eyed the extended hand suspiciously, as though she wanted nothing more than to turn around, and run as far away from Casey as she could get. For one brief moment, Casey wondered if that was exactly what she was going to do, but before she could fathom what was happening, Vanessa's hand was shaking hers. They had barely grasped each other's hands, before they both pulled back, their bodies tensing with discomfort. It could barely be called a handshake, but it was the most either of them could bring themselves to do, in spite of their hatred. They may never be able to get past that awkward sort of handshake, but Casey knew that Derek would be proud of the both of them for putting in that little bit of extra effort.

"Thanks for telling the truth, Vanessa."

Without another word, Vanessa had turned around, and was out the door as quickly as possible. The door closed behind her quietly, and Casey knew that she should wait a few moments before she went downstairs to find her son. She missed Justin like crazy, but it would be best for the both of them if Casey waited until Vanessa had left the building. She knew that they would both want to avoid each other at all costs, and that following too quickly after her would just be asking for trouble. They had extended their limits today, and she didn't want to push it.

She waited three minutes, before figuring that Vanessa would be far enough away for her safety. She was pretty sure that Vanessa would not have gone to the cafeteria, for she had probably figured out the first place that Casey would go, once their little talk was over. She hadn't laid eyes on her son in quite a few days, after all, and it only made sense that she would want to go down and spend some well-deserved time with him. She was ninety-nine percent positive that Vanessa would've had the sense to avoid the cafeteria, so without any further questioning, she made a move towards the door, her hand extended towards the doorknob.

The voice of the doctor behind her was all that stopped her from leaving.

"Ms. McDonald?" it questioned, and Casey felt her body tense as she froze with her hand hovering over the doorknob. Her eyes were wide, and she could feel her heart beating madly in her chest as she bit her lip. Half of her wanted to keep going, because she had learned that doctors never seemed to have good news for her, these days. She knew, however, that she needed to hear this eventually, so she took in a deep breath.

She turned around, her eyes fearful as she clenched her hands into nervous fists, holding her breath. She allowed her eyes to settle on the doctor's uneasy ones, and she gave a very brief nod of the head, as though signalling him to go on. She could not read the look on his face, and she had no idea whether or not he came bearing good news, or the worst news of all. Either way, she was about to hear something serious, she was sure of it.

And as predicted, the doctor took a step towards her, raising an eyebrow as he drew in a deep breath.

"I've got some news for you, regarding Mr. Venturi's condition."

This was it; all or nothing.

It all came down to this moment.

* * *

**So... reviews always help me update quicker. There's a hint! Happy Weekend!**


	35. Insults

**Disclaimer: Nothing, nothing, nothing.**

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Insults**

July twenty second. The twenty-second day of July. Twelve days before August.

No matter what way she phrased it to herself, this date was now officially her favourite day out of the entire year. It topped off Easter, birthdays, New Years... hell, it even beat Christmas. Sure, these events were for the most part all gift-giving occasions, but the twenty second of July had granted Casey the biggest gift of all.

Derek was going to be okay.

The doctor had informed her very formally that he was showing signs of recognition to sound, and to activity around him. According to Dr. Friedman, he had been displaying some brain activity earlier that same morning, which was how he had managed to overhear the words that Casey had been yelling at him, only an hour and a half beforehand. She may have slowed down his progress a bit by sending his blood pressure through the roof, but it had done no lasting damage. According to the doctor, he would begin to wake up somewhere within the span of the next week. It could be later that day, it could be six days- he had no idea. All he knew was that waking up was inevitable, and really, that was perfectly fine with Casey. Derek waking up was all that mattered to her. What was an extra week of waiting, compared to the years and years that she had been terrified of facing alone, before today?

So now she sat, still as stone, holding onto Derek's warm hand in her own. She kept rubbing the pad of her thumb along the base of his index finger, her mind far from her physical state of being. She could feel Derek's smooth skin beneath her own, and she was aware of the steady beeping of the machines in the background. But the beeping seemed to blend into her thoughts, which were far from the hospital room. In her mind, she was reliving the day that Derek had confessed his love for her, back in her apartment the morning after she had gotten drunk. That one morning was the key to preventing all of this- she was sure of it. If she had not been so stupid and pushed him away, would things have turned out differently? She knew that there was no point dwelling on it now that he was going to be okay, but she also knew that there was risk of major brain damage, and an even higher risk of paralyzation, once he woke up. Nothing would be set in stone until he woke up, but the doctor had been quick to remind her that it was a possibilty.

And while she was happy about the good news the doctor had brought her, and while she was trying not to dwell on the negative... she could not help but feel just a little bit guilty for all of this. If something serious was present when Derek woke up- if there were serious complications in his health... she would never fully forgive herself.

She bit her lower lip gently as she stared blankly at one spot on the wall, her eyes refusing to look away as she thought back to that morning in her apartment.

-

_"I love you," was all he said, unable to think of anything else. His expression was dazed, and he shook his head as he subconciously slipped his sneakers on, like she had motioned for him to do. It wasn't even a concious effort to walk towards the door. In fact, he was pretty sure it was her hand on his elbow that had brought him here, but suddenly, he was standing on the other side of her doorway, his expression absolutely pained, his eyes lost, his black jacket clutched tightly in his fists._

_She merely choked back a sob, nodding her head as she wiped away another tear that had fallen, letting her sleeve soak up the salty emotion._

_"I love you too," was all she managed to get out, and before he had time to think, her lips were on his once more. He was too numb to even kiss her back, not that there was time. The kiss that she gave him was soft and apologetic, gentle and friendly. And he understood what she had meant it to be._

_It was a goodbye kiss._

_Her eyes were void of emotion as she pulled back, unable to stop the tears as she gripped the doorknob tightly with her free hand, staring at him through tear-filled eyes._

_"I'm sorry."_

-

She saw it then- the look of absolute pain that she had placed in his eyes. It came back to her as though it had just happened, as though he were still fixing her with that shattered look.

She could not believe that she had caused him so much pain, only to have them come full circle, in the end. She had pushed him away when he tried his hardest to win her back. She had refused the best thing that would ever happen to her, and for what? So that she could sit here in a brightly lit hospital room a week later, wishing that she had chosen differently? She knew that she should not regret her choice, for it would have been wrong to persue a relationship with Derek before he was completely finished with his at the time, fiancee. But still, if she had known then what she knew now... would she have chosen differently, when Derek had confessed his love for her?

Suddenly, she wasn't sure.

She felt her breath pass her lips in a sigh, and she squeezed his hand slightly, trying her best to pull herself back into the present. Now was not the time for dwelling on past mistakes. Now was the time for concentrating on the future. A future that she hoped would include a very healthy, and very forgiving, Derek. She prayed to God that he would not remember a word of what she had said to him when he was unconcious. She could only imagine the look of pain that would flicker through his eyes if he were to think she really hated him. It would be much like the look he had fixed her with when she had shoved him from her apartment, that morning. And honestly, she could not take another look like that. It hurt too much, knowing that she had caused him any sort of pain.

"You have every reason in the world to hate me right now," she whispered, knowing that he could probably hear her. "I've caused nothing but drama in your life, but I know you'd deny it, if you could talk to me right now. You'd tell me to stop being stupid, and that everything happens for a reason. You'd tell me that you could never hate me, and that I was foolish to think such a thing. And then I'd probably disagree with you, and we'd argue about it for a bit, and..."

She trailed off, smiling to herself as her eyes settled on his pale face. Her gaze trailed past his lips to his cheeks, and even further to his closed eyes. For the hundreth time this week, she longed to see those dazzling brown orbs of curiousity that he was famous for. She ached to see him open those eyes, and fix her with that look that told her he could see right through her, and he loved her for it. She longed for his mouth to open, and for him to tell her that he loved her and could forgive her, despite all this. She wished more than anything that those stiff arms would suddenly move, and wrap around her already fragile form, enveloping her in a blanket of security that told her everything would be okay- she would make it through this.

But she knew that, if the doctor was right, then it was really only a matter of time until those wishes were granted.

"I should have never lost faith in you," she said shamefully, her cheeks blushing scarlet as she shook her head. "You would have never given up on me, and it was wrong of me to say what I did to your brother. I made it seem like you didn't stand a chance, and... and maybe that's why you're trying to hard right now. You always loved outsmarting me. I bet you'd love to prove me wrong, even for something like this. Wouldn't you?"

She could almost picture the smirk that would form on his lips if he were concious, and she laughed gently, shaking her head.

"God, you're predictable."

There was a brief moment of silence, and her eyes flickered up to one of the monitors, where his brain activity had been steadily increasing for the past twenty minutes. She was not sure why the doctor had told her that it could take six days for him to start waking up, because it looked to her like he was improving at an amazing rate. In fact, it would shock Casey if Derek was not awake before she left this hospital.

Then again, she was a magnet for bad luck, and she was sure this would be no different.

Knowing where bad thinking had gotten her before, she shoved the thoughts from her mind. Trying to focus on the positive, she raised their entwined hands slightly, pressing her lips to the back of his hand. His skin was warm, and she wished with all of her heart that she could kiss his lips, and feel him kissing her back. It would mean the world, to be able to kiss him, and feel the energy flowing between them- connecting them, making them join as one.

"I promised Marti that I would take Justin off her hands around suppertime," Casey said, raising an eyebrow at the unconcious man. "Now I, for one, do not intend on going to Justin with anything short of good news. When I go downstairs to get our son, I fully expect to be able to tell him that his daddy is awake, and I fully expect that he will be able to have a visit with you. And you know why I'm so confident in that? Because I have faith that you're strong enough to fight this off as quickly as possible, and get better. You're a strong guy, you tell me that frequently. And for once, I'm going to stroke your already inflated ego, and agree with you."

She smiled a little at her boost of confidence, and she drew in a shaky breath as she kissed the back of his hand again, her eyes squeezing shut.

"Please Derek," she murmered, her voice slightly more serious than before. "You don't know how much we need you here."

And for the first time in what had felt like a century, she felt Derek's hand twitch slightly within her own.

- - - -

Keep on talking to him. When she had gone to the doctors to tell them that she had felt Derek moving,they had assured her that this was a good sign, and that this sort of thing was to be encouraged. They had told her to keep talking to Derek, since her voice had obviously granted him some benefit, before. They said to say anything she could think of, so long as something was still stimulating his brain. Casey had fought back a sarcastic comment about how almost anything could stimulate Derek Venturi's brain, but she knew that it was not the time or place for such a comment. Derek might find it funny, but they didn't know him well enough to know that he was the sort of person who could be amused by paint drying, even if he would mope about it.

"Justin's been asking about you," she told him, smiling slightly as she struggled to come up with more to tell him. It had been easy at first- she had so much to tell him, but after the second consecutive hour, her throat was getting a little bit sore, and she was running out of things to say. Derek would've been speechless, no pun intended, had he been able to say anything at all. Casey McDonald had finally been rendered at a loss for words, and she was sure that nothing would amuse him more than this.

"He hasn't said much really," Casey admitted, deciding that their son was a safe topic to discuss. "When Mom and George put him on the phone all week, he would only get a few words out- you know how he is when he's adjusting to a new environment. But he asked about his daddy every single time I spoke to him. He knows you're in the hospital, though nobody really told him why. We don't think he needs to know that his father is here because of him. He's six; we don't want to hurt him anymore than he's already been hurt, by all of this."

Pausing, she glanced down at his hand, which had moved a fraction of an inch within her own again. It wasn't much, but it was the little things like this that gave her hope that he would be perfectly okay. She knew that the doctors must be right, and her voice must be helping, so she drew in a deep breath and rushed on quickly. She wasn't sure what she had left to say, but as long as she was talking, she was helping.

"When you make it out of this this... we're gonna do just fine," she told him, more confidence in her voice than ever before. "Me and you- we'll work everything out. I just know we will. And Justin... well, he'll finally have a real family to come home to. I think that will do him alot of good- having both of us around."

Her eyes flickered to the monitor, where Derek's brain activity was starting to get somewhere close to what she thought was normal. It excited her, that he might wake up soon, but the thought of serious side effects was still sort of a concern, for her. She was half afraid of what she would face when he woke up, but at the same time, she wanted to get this over with. She wanted him to be awake, so that she could begin to face whatever it was that had happened- good or bad.

"Whatever happens when you wake up," she began, her voice slightly strained as she squeezed his hand. "I'm going to be here for you. It doesn't matter to me if you can't walk, or if you've got some sort of brain damage, after all of this. You sacrificed everything to be with me, and I can do the same for you so easily. I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life taking care of you- it'll be worth it."

There were tears in her eyes, but she sniffed as she pressed her lips swiftly to the back of his hand. She forced the tiniest of smiles onto her lips, trying to keep her voice as strong as it had been moments before.

"I promise you," she whispered, wiping away the one tear that had fallen from her eyes. "I don't care what sort of state you're in when you wake up. You're not going to face anything on your own. I'm here for you, and you can always count on me to take care of you. I love you, Derek."

She smiled to herself, and in the back of her mind, she realized how far they had come, since their reunion. Hell, how far they had come since they _met_ each other. She would never have imagined, that day in the restauraunt, that the boy sitting across the table from her was the one she was supposed to be with. She would never have thought, as she blushed under the very first insult he had thrown at her, moments after meeting her, that she would one day care so much about him. At the time, she had seen him as an arrogant and cocky teenage boy- one who would amount to nothing more than trouble, in her life. And it was true, that Derek had caused plenty of trouble in her life. There were some days that she was convinced that his existance had been created just to annoy her, but in the end, she knew that it was worth it. Sure, Derek was annoying, but that was just a part of what made him the amazing guy he was inside.

She realized then that she had been silent for several long minutes, and she sighed, leaning down and resting her chin against one of her arms. Her other hand still held onto Derek's, but she closed her eyes as she allowed her head to rest against the free arm. So much was going through her mind, but one thing in particular was striking her as weird. There was so much she wanted from Derek, right now. She wanted to kiss him, she wanted to tell him she loved him, she wanted to hold him. But the weirdest thing was that, as she reflected back on how much Derek annoyed her, there was one thing that she wanted more than anything else. There was one thing that would assure her everything was back to normal again.

"Weirdly enough," she murmered, her eyes still closed as she smiled to herself. "-there's only one thing I really want right now."

She paused, questioning her sanity, but then she realized that her sanity was already long gone. She would do no harm by pushing it just a little bit further.

"I would give anything to hear you insult me, right about now," she chuckled, knowing how crazy it sounded. "As much as you tick me off, I'd love to know that the real you is still intact. An insult would be great right about now."

Her eyes were still closed, and the smile was still on her lips when a voice broke through the silence. It was raspy and weak, but it was the best thing Casey had heard all day.

"Once again, I'll push aside my concern for your sanity," she heard him get out, sounding as though he were exerting every bit of energy to speak to her. Her eyes flew open, but she was afraid to look to see if he was really awake. She was afraid that she was imagining things, and that this was all a figment of her imagination, but before she could do anything, he had spoken again.

"Judging by that makeup job, you really _are _fishing for insults, aren't you?"

Her eyes were widened, half with fear, half with hope. She wanted to look up and see if his eyes had opened, because she was sure that this could not be real. She was sure that this was a dream, and that she had finally cracked. But as she forced herself to lift her head off her arms, and take a glance in Derek's direction, she saw his brown eyes staring up at her, sparkling with interest, and faitgue.

"Cat got your tongue?" he questioned, his eyes falling shut even as he spoke. "There's usually something wrong when _you're_ speechless, not like I'm really complaining."

She regained enough composure to come to her senses, and narrow her eyes at him. Her hand connected gently with his arm, and she found herself grinning, despite her annoyance.

"Der_-ek_," she got out, but before he could even respond to her, her arms were wound tightly around his neck. She knew that she was probably squeezing the air out of him, and she knew that she was staining his hospital shirt with her tears, but she didn't really have a care in the world about it, right now. As her tears fell against his shoulder, she found herself grinning like an idiot against him. She was an emotional train wreck, but she didn't really care, right about now. Derek was awake, and his sense of humour was completely intact, as far as she could tell. Nothing could be more amazing than this.

"Watch the wires, Case," she heard him mumble, as his arms wrapped gently around her waist. She was alarmed at how weak he was, but gave it no more thought as he went on. "Don't wanna be responsible for any sudden medical emergencies, do you?"

"No," she murmered, the smile never leaving her face as she sniffed back a few more tears. "Definitely not. There is no way I want to be responsible for _anything_ going wrong again."

Derek probably could've insulted her- she knew that there must be a million comebacks bouncing around in his head, right about now. But his concern for her seemed to win out, and she felt his lips touch the side of her head, lingering there for only a moment. She squeezed her eyes shut as more tears fell, and she held him tighter, drawing in a shaky breath.

"I can't believe you're really awake," she choked out, afraid to pull away. "I just can't believe it."

"Yeah," he agreed, and she saw the joke coming before the words had even left his mouth. "And I can't believe I've been awake for less than two minutes, and you've already got my shirt soaked. You might've set a new record, Case."

"Oh shut up," she whispered, laughing despite herself. She pulled back, and she allowed him to lie back against his pillow again. She let go of him long enough to pull herself up, and take a seat on the edge of his bed. The moment she was settled in, she was quick to take his hand again, and her eyes never left his as she fought back more tears.

"That's enough insults for one day, don't you think?"

He shrugged, a weak smirk pulling at his lips as he pressed the button on the side of his bed. The top half of his body was suddenly inclined more than his lower half, and he was in a sitting position as the bed repositioned itself to a more suitable manner. He was still grinning when he squeezed her hand, clearly pleased with himself.

"I'm just trying to catch up," he said, raising an eyebrow at her. "Tell me how long I've been out for, and then we'll decide if that's enough insults for one day."

She sniffed, wiping her tear-stained cheeks with her free sleeve.

"Four days," she got out, smiling a little bit as she saw that he was really okay, he was really there in front of her. "You've been out for four days, now."

"Four days, eh?" he questioned, his voice sounding a little stronger than it had a moment ago. "Well, I run an average of four insults a day, usually seven for you. Looks like I've got a good twenty or so left to go, but I guess it can wait, right?"

She nodded quickly, a huge smile dancing on her lips as she kissed the back of his hand. She was overjoyed by the sound of his voice, and she was not scared to admit it. The absence of his voice was something that she never wanted to live without again. Even if he was insulting her, she was quite content to listen to the sound of his voice, spilling past his lips like a melody.

"Yes," she got out, in agreement with his statement. "Yes, that can most definitely wait until after."

He chose not to say anything more on the matter, and before he could stop her, she was hugging him again, her body leaning over his as she buried her face against his shoulder. He said nothing, but she felt his hands grip her waist firmly on either side, his hand dropping hers instantly. His serious side replaced his sense of humour immediately, and he was holding her with just as much meaning as he could summon up, given his weak state. She could feel his warm, ragged breath grazing against her ear at steady intervals, and she smiled as one of his hands moved up her back, rubbing back and forth gently. The feeling of his calming hand was so relaxing, and she found herself smiling as she pulled back a little, her arms around his neck. He looked her in the eye, and brought one hand up to her face, brushing her hair away from her forehead. His fingers tucked the loose strands behind her ear, and he tilted his head to the side, studying her curiously.

"You okay?" he questioned, his voice concerned as he studied her pale face. "You look a little out of it."

She got out a choked laugh, her hands still shaking from the shock of seeing him awake. She was nodding like an idiot, beaming at him as she tightened her hold around his neck.

"I'm more than okay," she reassured him, being completely honest. "Okay isn't even the word for it. I'm... I'm thrilled, I'm ecstatic. I'm _perfect_ and I owe it all to you."

She leaned down, and her lips touched against his for less than a full second. He looked as though he might have kissed her back, but she had fallen into a hug before he had the chance to react at all. His eyes were slightly confused, but he managed to kiss the side of her head, and rest his cheek against her hair as though she were acting completely normal. He seemed to catch onto the fact that she was completely delusional with happiness, and he didn't seem to have a problem with it. His hand stroked her hair, fingers tangling through the strands, and he trailed the hand down her back, sighing against her hair.

There was so much they had to discuss, so much that had to be worked out between the two of them. They both understood that their relationship could not be discussed until the doctors had come in and checked him out. Casey would not rest until Derek had been given a clean bill of health, and they both understood that to the full extent. They were in for a very long couple of days- that much was inevitable.

But at the moment, as Derek sat stroking her hair, and Casey allowed herself to smile against his shoulder, nothing mattered but them. This might be the last chance that they would get for quite awhile to sit with each other like this, and really be together, and neither of them had any plans on taking that for granted.

* * *

**Review, and I will update quicker. Next chapter settles Dasey fate, and Justin will be reunited with his father! Derek's health will be completely looked over next chapter. It's my birthday tomorrow, and waking up to an inbox of reviews would be a nice gift ! **


	36. Sealed With A Kiss

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing. Imagine that. **

**Chapter Thirty-Six: Sealed with a Kiss**

By nine o'clock that night, Derek had not only caught up on all of his lost insults- he had surpassed his quota for the next month. He seemed to find making up for lost time to be an activity in which overachieving was a necessity. Everything Casey did, he had some little remark to make about it, but she couldn't say that she really had a problem with it. Honestly, she had missed him that much that any use of his voice was like a melody, to her. Even when he was insulting her, she was concentrating on the smooth words that slipped past his lips. She knew without a doubt that she would never get tired of hearing him, and that she would never take advantage of the sound of his voice again.

At around ten after nine, Casey had gone downstairs to the parking lot to pick up Justin. She had tried to find him immediately after the doctors had been informed that Derek had woken up, because she knew that Justin would want to see his father. While the doctors had been talking to Derek, she had gone looking for her son, only to find he wasn't in the cafeteria. She had panicked, at first, since she already knew what it was like to have her son on the missing list, but then she had checked her cellphone. Marti had left her a message explaining that Justin had been super tired, and that she had taken him back to Edwin's place for a couple of hours, so that he could get some sleep. She had informed Casey that she would bring him back to her around nine, since Casey would obviously want to bring him home tonight- having had him away for several weeks now.

So here she was, standing in front of the hospital as she watched her stepbrother's car pull up in front of the hospital, with Marti in the passenger's seat. Casey almost felt guilty for forgetting about Edwin after she had had her little chat with Vanessa, but she supposed that he had been relieved to go home for a couple of hours. She could only guess that he had picked Marti and Justin up before, since Marti didn't have a liscense, but she decided not to bother feeling guilty over this. She was not going to dwell on anything negative- not today. Today was a day for happiness, and for celebration. Derek was perfectly okay, Justin was back in her custody, and there wasn't a single thing that could crash her mood down, today.

The moment Edwin had pulled up by the curb to drop them off, the back door was flying open. Marti hadn't even had a chance to remove her own seatbelt, before Justin was running towards his mother, his light up sneakers flashing everytime his little feet hit the pavement. He was dressed in blue jeans, and a blue Superman hoodie, but the moment he stepped out of the car, his hood fell down. As he ran, his hair blew against his forehead, probably getting in his eyes, but he didn't seem phased by it in the slightest. The only thing Casey was aware of was the grin on her little boy's face, and as he got closer, she bent down, her arms ready to catch him.

And it was the most powerful feeling in the world, when he finally reached his mother, and threw his arms around her neck. She could feel his little heartbeat against her own chest, for he had been running that quickly, but her own heart was racing that fast that she barely even noticed.

"Mommy," Justin murmered into her shoulder, and she tightened her grip around him, looking up at Marti with tears shining in her eyes. She mouthed the words 'thank you', and Marti could only nod, a small smile touching her own lips as she backed up towards the car. Casey figured she would go with Edwin to find a parking spot so that Casey could take Justin upstairs on her own. They deserved some time together after everything that they had gone through, and she knew that neither Edwin or Marti would protest that Justin and Casey had to visit Derek on their own- without any interference. The other two, and anyone else, would be welcome to visit Derek afterwards, but they all knew that he would want to see his son alone, with the exception of Casey.

When they reaahed Derek's room, Casey bent down and gripped Justin's shoulders, looking him right in the eye. He looked excited, and Casey knew how much it meant to him that he was going to go and see his father, after not being allowed in the room for the past four days or so. She knew that he was beyond excited right about now, but she also cared greatly about Derek's safety, and she knew that she would have to set some ground rules with her son, first.

"Daddy's going to look a little bit different, okay?" she informed him, cringing at the memory of Derek's cuts and bruises. "He's a little bit cut up right now, but he's... he's still your Daddy, and he still loves you very much. He's in really rough shape, so you need to be _gentle_ with him, okay? He's gonna be pretty sore right about now, and I'm sure he'd appreciate it if you could play nice for a little while. Do you understand that?"

Justin nodded, his face screwed up as he thought over what his mother had just told him. As confirmation that he had been paying attention, he nodded towards the door, his face determined.

"_Gentle_," he repeated, the word sounding foreign against his lips, and she smiled as she realized how far he had come, in the past few months. Before his father came along, he would have never said more than two words in an entire week, and now? He was on his way to what seemed like some level of normalcy. He could grasp the concept of what others were telling him, and he could sort of respond, with short and choppy answers. She knew that, with a bit of extra therapy, and a few extra programs, Justin could very well turn this thing around. Derek had the money it would take to put Justin into some top of the line programs, and she knew that he would not mind paying the costs at all. And while Casey hated letting Derek spend his money on her, she knew that this was worth it- this was something that they both wanted more than anything.

When she pushed open the door, she was relieved to see that Derek was sitting up in his bed, staring blankly at the pale wall in front of him as he waited for visitors. He had obviously been expecting them, because he did not seem a bit surprised when he turned his head, and laid eyes on Casey. Justin was holding onto his mother's hand, but when his father grinned at him, he was quick to let go. Casey took no offense to this, and she was relieved when Justin took cautious steps towards his father's bed, taking what his mother had told him to heart.

Derek, however, frowned at Justin's pace, and he gave a jerk of the head towards the bed, growing impatient.

"What am I, breakable? Get over here, kid."

That was all it took for Justin to pull himself up onto his father's bed, and scoot closer to him. The moment Derek could reach him, Justin was wrapped in his dad's arms, and Derek was hugging him like there was no tomorrow. She knew that he must be absolutely relieved that he was alive to do this today, and that they had both made it out of the bridge ordeal alive, She knew how much this moment must mean to Derek, and she couldn't help but smile as she closed the door behind her, and put her purse down on the floor next to the door.

"He was grinning the whole way up here," she informed Derek quietly, as he hugged his son. "Kid couldn't wait to see you."

"Of course he couldn't," he murmered, his face buried into Justin's hair happily. "He's my boy- obviously he'd want to see me."

Casey laughed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, and she couldn't help but smile at the pair in front of her. Derek and Justin looked just like a typical father and son pair, despite the wires and tubes surrounding them at the moment. The smiles on their faces were identical, and it was so easy to see the bond that connected them. The look in Derek's eyes was one that he could only hold for his own child, and she knew that he cared just as much for their son as she did by now. There was no question in her mind about who loved Justin more- they loved him equally, and everything she would sacrifice for Justin, Derek would too. He had proved that much by climbing up the poles on the bridge.

"He's been talking about you all week," she said quietly, smiling faintly as Derek looked up at her. "Everytime I spoke with him on the phone, he'd just ask about his daddy over and over again."

Derek grinned as he ruffled the boy's hair, and Casey thanked the heavens that Justin appeared to be listening to her. He hadn't done anything that could hurt Derek just yet, and she was proud to say that he was handling himself in a very well-behaved manner. She was snapped out of her thought train when she saw that Derek and Justin had been fooling around, and that Derek had his son in a tight, yet perfectly safe headlock. Casey grinned as she watched the pair of them fooling around, yet she found herself growing cautious as Justin laughed, fighting playfully against his father's restraints.

She frowned, and she found herself shifting uncomfortably as she tried not to let herself get too anxious over this. Derek already thought that she was too much of a perfectionist. The last thing she needed was him thinking she was over-analyzing things. But still, her protective side won out once more and she found herself shaking her head, giving Justin and Derek a nervous glance.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," she speculated, and she could hear the anxiety in her own voice. "Having him fight back against you like that?"

As predicted, Derek gave her a look that clearly told her she needed to get a life. She wanted to roll her eyes at this, for she was definitely used to this look- but something kept her back. She watched as he shook his head, his smile hinting that he was close to laughter.

"Relax, Case," he said, giving her one of his infamous smirks. "He's only playing around with me. And besides, it's not like I'm _that _delicate or- _ow!_"

His abrupt cutoff was the result of a slightly over-excited push from his son, and before either of them knew what was happening, Derek was clutching his head in what could only be pain. She had heard his head smack off the wall pretty hard, and she knew that this could lead to nothing good. She felt her heart skip a beat, and her immediate concern was that he was seriously injured again. She wasn't sure if she could handle another week of Derek in a coma. She was relieved to see that Justin seemed to recognize his mistake, and it nearly broke her heart when she saw the tearful look he was fixing his agonized father with a horrified stare. He was looking back and forth between each parent, as though he could not piece together just how bad of a mistake he had just made. Casey wished that she could reassure him, but when Derek's eyes squeezed shut in pain, she was not so sure this was something she could do just yet.

She leaned forwards, her hand resting against Derek's knee as she tilted her head and tried to grab his attention.

"Derek?" she questioned, her voice lined with a panicked edge. "Derek, can you hear me?"

He opened his eyes to look at her, but he did not make a single noise or movement to indicate that he had understood her. Clumsily, she raised all of her fingers and her thumb up on her right hand, and held them out for him to see.

"Derek, how many fingers am I holding up?" she questioned, praying to the heavens that he would get it right. "Can you tell me that?"

Squinting, he analyzed the situation. She waited impatiently as he thought it over, and she watched as he leaned back against the pillows, a breathy sigh escaping his lips. He closed his eyes again, and he looked exhausted as he adjusted his son against his lap.

"Four," he murmered, his voice barely audible. "You're holding up four fingers."

Casey's eyes widened, and she began to go into panic mode as she came to the brilliant conclusion that he had gotten it wrong. She was about to freak out and go get the nurse, when she saw that his eyes had opened up again. He was fixing her with a mischevious little smirk, and her cheeks flushed red as she realized he was amused by her reaction.

"Your thumb doesn't count as a finger," he said smartly, and she felt relief wash over her as she realized he had been kidding. She shouldn't have been surprised by this, after years of enduring Derek's pranks and antics. Nonetheless, she was not complaining as she breathed out a sigh of relief, running her hand through her hair. She was tired and exhausted- that much was easy to tell. She looked like she had not spent more than five minutes on her makeup that morning, and the purple rings beneath her eyes told Derek everything he needed to know. Casey was absolutely and totally worn out from everything that had been going on, an he knew it.

Before he could apologize, she was shaking her head. Her hand still covered her face as she spoke up, her voice strained.

"That wasn't funny," she said anxiously, sounding like she could have a panic attack. "Not funny in the slightest."

There was nothing more he wanted to do than to make some sort of smart remark about how this was the funniest thing he had done all day. He wanted to do something funny, just to feel like he was getting back to his normal self. He knew she'd be in a mushy and romantic sort of mood later, and he wanted to get as much 'playtime' out of her as he could, while Justin was around. She tended to be a little bit more casual whenever their son was around, but he knew that she'd be showering him with tears and apologies the moment she had gim by himself.

But it didn't matter what he wanted to do. His actions revolved around Casey, and Casey only. If she was upset, he would comfort her. There would be no joking, if that was only going to make her feel worse. He could put Casey's needs before his own, and he knew that this was exactly what she needed, right now.

"I know it wasn't funny," he lied, shifting so that there was room for her. "I'm sorry, Case."

He reached for her immediately, and it wasn't long before she was gathered into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her waist, relishing the feeling of having her so near to him. In the days before the fall, he would have given anything to hold her close like this- to hear her voice whisper against his ear. Derek had a good feeling that he would be able to appreciate her so much more now that he knew what it was like to not have her. The idea of marrying Vanessa, and living such a lie for the rest of his life... he couldn't stand to think about it. It had come so close to being his future, but now- as he held Casey in his arms- he could not picture a future that did not involve holding her like this every single day for the rest of his life.

Call him whipped- he was a man in love, for crying out loud.

"Just relax," he murmered, rubbing her back as he felt her shaking against him. "I'm here."

He knew that she was not torn up like this because of the slight bump on the head that Justin had given him. No, her body was shaking too much for it to be about that. He knew that she was shaken up because this was so unbelieveable to her. From the look on her face, he could tell that she was just having a hard time adjusting to the fact that he was going to be okay. He could not imagine what she must have been going through for the past few days, thinking that he might not make it. Because of this, it was so much easier to push aside all creative insults, and just be nice to her.

"C'mon Case," he said, trying to keep the balance between funny and caring at a manageable level. "Don't cry. You know how insecure it makes me feel when people cry because of me. Makes me feel unloved."

This earned the smallest of laughs from her, and he felt relief wash over him when she smiled at him. He could tell that she was in no way completely reassured of his well-being, but at least she had a general understanding that he was going to be okay. When Derek's sense of humor was intact, you knew that he was on a road to full recovery. And if Derek could just maintain a decent mixture of humor and comfort, he was pretty sure she would be okay.

"You don't know how wrong you are," Casey murmered against his shoulder, confusing him for a moment. He would have questioned her, but she went on, perhaps sensing his confusion.

"You're _very_ loved," she whispered brokenly, and he could have sworn that he felt himself melt right into her then and there. Call him a sap, but those words were enough to keep him going strong for days, even if it made him feel weaker than he ever had before. Casey was his weak spot, and hearing her say that she loved him was something he would never fully be able to grasp. He would give into her every command, if only she would say it in the right way. And because of this, he knew that he was completely and totally whipped.

For some reason, he didn't really mind. Her love seemed like a fair trade-off for his sickening behaviour around her.

Squeezing her tight, he closed his eyes and allowed a small smile to dance across his lips. Her hair surrounded his face, and he breathed in the scent of it gratefully. He wanted to memorize that scent- imprint it in his memories so that he would never have to go without it again. Just in case.

"I love you too, baby," he said, wanting to reassure her that she was not the only one who had these strong feelings. "You never have to worry about that- not anymore. It's just you now- it was only ever you."

Casey lifted her head off of his shoulder so that she could see into his eyes, and he could only smile as he caught sight of the way she was looking at him. It was almost as if she had never really viewed him like this until now- like she was seeing him under a whole new light. And the _smile_ she was giving him... well, he would devote every hour of every day to making sure that it never disappeared, because it was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on.

He was not sure what he expected her to say, but he knew that it would be something serious. Justin had crossed the room to look out the window after seeing that his father was okay, and they both knew that it was okay to talk while he was so distracted. He was not sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing, since it really depended on what she had to say to him. But as he watched her draw in a deep breath and straighten up, he knew that he had to prepare himself, and quick.

"What about Vanessa?" she questioned, and he almost laughed at the fact that she would even have to ask him such an insignificant question.

"What about her?" he asked, a smile touching his lips. "Be more specific here."

She rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed that he did not grasp what she was trying to say, but she allowed it to slide as she responded.

"What are you going to do?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she slipped her fingers through his on each hand. He glanced down at their entwined hands, swallowing hard, but did not say a word as she met his gaze and continued.

"You can't lead both of us on forever," she reminded him, shrugging her shoulders. "You need to make a choice here, and you need to make it soon. One of us is going to get heartbroken, and we've both accepted it... but if you've changed your mind... if you want her instead, I... I won't stand in your way. I'll step aside, and let you two be together without any interference."

Her voice had a slightly panicked edge to it, and he knew without asking that this was not what she wanted. She didn't want to step aside and let him be with Vanessa without interference- she didn't want him to be with Vanessa at all. He knew that she would stick by her word, and that she would do whatever it took to make him happy, but he knew it would be one of the hardest things she would ever have to do. He could definitely relate. Despite how he felt for Casey, ditching the wedding last week had been extremely difficult for him. He would not tell Casey any of this, for it would only upset her further, but leaving Vanessa was nowhere near as easy as he had made it seem. He had wanted Casey to think that he was in control, and he did not want a single bit of doubt left in her head about how he felt about her.

But it had been hard. The whole time he had been waiting for Casey outside the church, he had watched his ex- fiancee's security gaurds racing around the building, frantically passing messages back and forth as they prepared themselves for the 'big event'. Unwillingly, Vanessa's face had been flickering in and out of his mind, and the hurt look that she would display when she realized that she had been dumped... well, he could not pretend that he felt good about that. He cared about her a great deal, and she would probably never be someone that he could forget. There would always be a part of him that would wonder how his life would have turned out, had he chosen Vanessa and gone ahead with the wedding.

But two key results came to mind when he thought about the consequences of choosing the other woman, and he knew that they were results he would never be able to accept.

First off, there was an extremely high chance that Justin would not be here today. Sure, there was the slightest of chances that the rescue officials could have gotten him down in time, but the chances were slim. His hands had been sweaty when Derek had lifted him from the high beams, and he had gotten the impression that his son could not have held on for much longer than he had. He shuddered to think of what might have happened, if Justin had fallen. It would have been the same fall that Derek himself had endured, and he could not stand to think about his son in that much pain. Justin's figure was so much more fragile than his father's, and it was a likely possibility that he would not have lived long enough to see the hospital.

The second result of choosing Vanessa was almost equally as painful to think about. By choosing Vanessa, he would have been giving up the _other_ girl- Casey. His future without Vanessa could be pictured so easily. He knew he would settle into a comfortable future with Casey, and that he would live a good life with her. They would have their problems, and they would never be perfect... but they would be together. It would be as natural as breathing for the two of them, and it would never be a worry as to whether or not their love was still going strong. He could just tell that nothing could ever change. His feelings for her would never go away, and he had no doubts that her feelings would stay the same too. Even if he had chosen Vanessa, he would've gone through life knowing that he loved someone else even more.

Yes, his life without Vanessa was so easy to plan out, in his mind. It was so easy to picture, so easy to accept.

But life without _Casey_... well, that was a different story altogether. Derek had a fairly imaginative mind. He didn't even have to try to picture his life without Vanessa- it came naturally. But try as he might, he could not summon up even the slightest glimpse of what a future without Casey might be like. He could dig in every dark corner of his mind, but all he could see was darkness, pain and a false sense of happiness. A future without Casey was much too uncertain to chance, because honestly he could not predict how long he would last without her. Maybe he could have gone ahead with the wedding and led a happy life, if Casey hadn't of returned to his life. But she had, and now that he knew how much he loved her, he knew that he would never be able to live without her.

And because of that, he knew which path his future had to take.

He must have been thinking for longer than he thought, because when he looked up again, Justin had disappeared. He suspected that Marti must have popped in and brought him downstairs for something to eat, but he could not be sure. All he was sure of was that he had to make things right with his girl, and he wanted that out of the way as soon as possible.

He slipped his fingers through Casey's, and he drew in a deep breath. He knew what his decision was, and he knew that this was the right choice for everyone.

"I don't want to be with Vanessa, whether you interfere or not," he said, his voice confident as his lips pressed to the back of her hand. Her eyes were uncertain, and he hoped to God that he was going to be able to convince her of his honesty. She squeezed his hand as she shook her head, biting her lower lip gently.

"It took you an awful long time to think about that," she said quietly, as though this worried her. "Why was it so hard for you to be sure about... about _us_?"

He sat up a bit straighter, already knowing the answer to this question. He was relieved that she had not chosen to ask him anything that he would have to think about even longer, for he knew that he already had her worried enough about their relationship.

"I won't lie to you, Case."

His voice was rough and uneven, and he could see the tension in her pretty features as she realized how serious he was being about this. Her hand stiffened within his, and he squeezed it to let her know that it was okay- he wasn't about to hurt her.

"Leaving Vanessa... it's not as easy as I was making it out to be last week," he carried on. "I told you before and I have no problem with telling you again; Vanessa means alot to me. For almost two years now, she's been my responsibility... like you were a long time ago. I won't deny that taking care of her is alot less work than taking care of you ever was, but... I'm up for a challenge."

He smirked a little then, and he noticed that a very small amount of her fear seemed to ebb away. It was still dominant in her eyes, and he knew that he had a long way to go before he had repaired the damage that had been accidently caused by this whole dilemma- though it was definitely a task he was willing to work at. He would not let her leave this room until their future together had been decided, and finalized.

Sighing, he wiped the smirk off of his face and rearranged his features into something of a more serious manner.

"Look, I won't say that it will be easy for me to get over her completely," he said, not wanting anything left unsaid. "I don't want you to think that I can't stand the woman. I admit that I hold alot of resentment for her, because of all she's done to you and our son. You guys are the most important thing in my life, and I'm not going to tolerate _anyone_ putting you two through that sort of thing again- whether they are my ex-girlfriend or not. It's not okay for her to treat you like that, and expect to get away with it."

Casey gave a casual shrug of the shoulder, though she looked by no means reassured. She tried to force a smile onto her lips, but wound up giving up. She gave a gentle sigh instead, and shook her head at him.

"It's okay," she assured him, though he could tell this was only half true. "Me and her talked things out, over the past few days. We... well... you know that we'll never really _like _each other, and we both understand that being friends now is completely out of the question. There's way too much hatred for us to ever resolve our issues completely."

She knew that he had not wanted to hear this, but she also knew that he completely understood where she was coming from. He gave a reassuring nod of the head, as if telling her that he could accept the rivalry between the two women. Sensing that he was still interested, she continued.

"Like I said, we may never make each other's top ten lists... but we've put our differences aside. We've agreed to... to stop making things so difficult for you, and just be civil with one another. I mean, she's one of your clients, and that means that I'm going to have to put up with her for as long as her record deal is still intact. I don't want to be fighting with her every single time we get shoved into the same room together. It's not fair for you, and it's not going to make either one of us happy either. We're better off pretending like we don't want to rip each other's throats out."

There was a definite edge of bitterness in her voice, and Derek could not help but cringe at it. He knew that Casey probably held enough hatred to kill Vanessa if she really wanted to, but he knew that she was going to try her hardest to make this 'civil agreement' work out as best as it could, for everyone else's sake. That was one of the many reasons he loved the girl so much- she was always willing to make things right, even with someone who had caused her so much pain. He was not sure where she found the willpower. If it were him who had gone through all of this, he had a feeling that he would not be nearly as forgiving as her.

"What about the charges?" he questioned, his eyebrows furrowed together. "I mean... if Justin was with you today, she must have dropped them."

She nodded pleasantly, and he could tell that this was something that she was genuinely thankful for.

"Yeah, she dropped the charges," she informed him, sounding pleased. "I was talking to my lawyer this afternoon, before I brought Justin up to see you. Apparantly, she provided a written confession to the court, and told them that she had provoked me. She said that she had hit me too, and I had been protecting my son. They really had no case against me then, since the only other witness was going against everything she had said before. I'm not sure if she'll get into any trouble for lying to them before, but... I'm thankful, nonetheless."

Derek nodded, and although he did not verbalize it- he held his own respect and appreciation for what Vanessa had done. She was never one to do anything for anyone else very easily, so he could only imagine how hard it must have been for her to come forward and tell the truth to the cops. He had to respect her for that, and appreciate that she had done something so selfless for someone else.

He looked back up at Casey, blowing a few stray hairs away from his eyes so that he could see her better. She was watching him with anxious eyes, and he took a deep breath. He was ready to ask her the final question, the one that would decide whether or not she was going to be okay with the terms of their relationship. He didn't want her to get into this thing with any misunderstandings between them. He would rather have everything out there now, than have her find out a month down the road that she had misunderstood what he had told her.

"Look, all or nothing... you need to know exactly how I feel," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I want to get all this... _emotion_ stuff out of the way at once, and we might as well get it out of the way now."

She rolled her eyes at the way he had brought it all back to his lack of emotion, but she nodded her head in agreement with his suggestion. It was obvious that she wanted this cleared up just as badly as he did.

Squeezing her hand, he prepared himself for whatever decision she was about to make. He hated that he had to get so over-emotional about this. Despite how strongly he felt for Casey, he still hated expressing his emotion to any real extent. Casey had always told him that he expressed himself well, and that he had a real way with words, but he had never believed her. He would only use emotion when it was absolutely necessary, though he found it suspicious that this usually limited him to being emotional around Casey. That girl could bring out so much emotion in him that it almost angered him. Almost, but not quite. Usually, the risk was worth the reward that she presented him with.

"I want you to know that I _do_ love you, more than I love her- more than I love anyone. I don't want you to doubt that in the slightest."

His voice was rough with stress, and she closed her eyes with relief as she nodded her head, showing that she understood. Sensing that she was paying attention to his every word, he went on. Both of his hands wrapped over one of hers, her skin cool against his own. When he spoke, his voice had gone soft once more, clearly a direct result of who he was speaking to.

"I want to be with you," he said softly, a gentle smile touching his lips. "-more than anything, Case- I really do. As crazy as it sounds after spending so many years apart, I can't imagine my life without you anymore. I need you and Justin with me, Case. You guys... you two mean the world to me. All that matters to me now is making you guys happy, and I don't care what I have to lose to get that."

"I sense there's something else," she said, not completely buying his happy-go-lucky attitude. "There's a glitch here, isn't there?"

His eyes closed briefly as he realized that she had caught on quicker than he had anticipated. She seemed to be able to read him better than anyone else ever had, and he knew that she had caught onto the one thing he was holding off on saying. He knew that there was no sense in denying it to her, so he quickly nodded his head to show that she was right.

"Yeah," he agreed, sighing. "Yeah, there's more."

She was silent, waiting for an explanation. And as much as he did not want to give it to her, he knew that he would feel alot better once he had gotten everything off of his chest. It was that very mentality that allowed him to summon his courage, and speak his mind.

"I'm not over Vanessa," he admitted, his cheeks blushing red. He felt her body tense beside his, and he tried to ignore it as he went on. "The first little while... well, adjusting will be hard on all of us. Vanessa is still going to be in my life- with work and everything, and that's going to mean that it'll take me twice as long to move on. I'm not saying that I still want to be with her or anything, because I don't. I want you, and I don't want you to have to doubt that. But I need you to be ready to accept the fact that she was a huge part of my life over the past year or two."

He was not sure what he expected from her, but it was not the reaction that he got. There was no hesitation, no anger, and there was most definitely not any arguing. She did not get mad at him for suggesting she be patient while he moved on from his ex. She did not cry over the fact that he was still not completely over some other girl. No, Casey reacted in her typical fashion. She faced the situation with the most mature and brave front that she could summon up, and she gave him a quick nod, her smile slightly strained.

"I understand where you're coming from," she told him confidently, and he was surprised at her honesty. "I can't expect you to just get over her, with a snap of your fingers. It's going to take time, and it's going to be hard on you. But as long as I know where your loyalty is... and as long as I know you'll... you'll never leave me..."

Her voice wavered with a slight uncertainty, and her eyes locked with his as she let the statement trail off into a lingering question. He could sense her need for reassurance, and he grinned as he nodded his head. She found herself being pulled into his arms, and his lips touched gently against the side of her head as he hugged her tightly against his chest.

"I'm never going to leave you," he assured her, his voice quiet and deep against her ear. "Never- you can count on that."

"You promise?" she whispered back, her voice still unconvinced. He knew that there must be alot of doubt in her mind, after everything that they had gone through in the past few months. Their relationship had been up and down, on and off. There had been no rhyme nor reason to anything that they had gone through lately, and it was easy to understand why she would be cautious while committing to what they both understood would be a very serious and long-term relationship.

But he knew how he felt about her, and he knew that his love for her would be enough to keep them together for a long time to come. If their relationship were to end, it would be on her terms- for he did not have the willpower to get up and leave her anymore. If he had it his way, Casey McDonald would be the last girl he ever kissed, and if he _really_ got his way, then he would be planning another wedding in a short amount of time. He would not rush anything- he would give himself time to get over Vanessa, and he would even be gracious enough as to give Vanessa the chance to move on from him. Her recovery would probably come quickly, for she had always been one to attract men, and bounce back quickly from losses. He was not worried about her being torn up over this forever, for he knew it would not be very difficult for her to move on. But eventually, when the timing was right for _everyone_, he had big plans on making Casey a very permanent part of his life.

"Derek?" Casey repeated, sounding scared that he had not answered her. She pulled back to look at him, and he realized that he had completely zoned out on her. He racked his brain to try and remember what he had been asked, but nothing came to mind. He raised an eyebrow shamefully, and she did not let it phase her as she pulled him a bit closer, their faces only inches apart.

"I asked you a question," she said, shaking her head as their gaze locked together. "Do you _promise_ that you're not going to back out on me? Are you absolutely, one hundred percent sure that this is the right choice for you?"

He didn't have to think about that one. He nodded his head without any hesitation, but this did not sit well with her. She shook her head, frowning fearfully at the silent man.

"Promise me," she urged, her insecurity shining through full force. "Promise me you're here to stay, this time. I don't want anymore fooling around, Der. I want me and you and Justin to be a family. I want to be _with_ you, without having to compete for your attention. I just... I need you to promise me that you're going to be committed to me, and me only."

He smirked at her uncertainty, and before she could even question his actions, he was gripping her chin gently between his fingers. He heard her breathing catch in her throat, and the color seemed to drain from her face as he pulled her face gently towards his, until he could see every fleck of her eyes staring back at him. The beautiful sky blue of her eyes stood out against her suddenly pale skin, and he studied her face carefully to decide what his next move would be. Half of him wanted to make some witty comment towards her, for he knew that she thought he would kiss her. Another half of him wanted nothing more than to do just that- kiss her.

Annoy the hell out of Casey, or kiss her. Both were very tempting options, but as his eyes passed over her lips- neglected over the past week or so, he ached desperately for the second of the two options. He had not felt her kiss in days now, and before he could put anymore thought into the matter, he was making the move to close the last bit of distance left between the two of them. He saw the hesitation and anticipation mingling together in her eyes, and he knew that she was torn over this. But before she could refuse him, his lips were on hers and she was kissing him back without any hesitation or reluctance.

Her arms wound loosely around his neck, and she shifted so that she was leaning over his bruised body. His hands had released hers at some point, and he found himself placing one hand on either side of her waist, drawing her impossibly closer. He could feel her lips grazing his again and again- her kisses soft and slow and then long and desperate, all in a span of a few moments. He knew that the desperation was rising from her fear of losing him, and he wanted nothing more than to put that irrational worry from her mind for good.

All too soon, she was pulling away from him to struggle for some well-needed oxygen, and he found himself grinning like an idiot back at her. Her eyes were still closed, and his hand rose back up to its original position- gripping her chin gently in one hand. He could not wipe the grin off of his face as his lips touched hers once, twice... and then a third time, the kisses soft and necessary. For safe measure, he kissed her once more, and then pulled back far enough to run his free hand down through her hair. When his hand reached the small of her back, she allowed her eyes to flutter open and take in the scene around her. She caught sight of the grin on his face, and she smiled back shyly, her cheeks blushed crimson.

There were so many things he could've said to her at that moment- rude and teasing, gentle and romantic. He was having a hard time choosing which line to use on her, right now.

But the beautiful blue orbs of her eyes drew him in, and in his dizzy state, he could only think of one thing to say to her.

"How's that for a promise?"

* * *

**Work, visiting family, new pet... it all takes up alot of time, and that's really my only excuse for not being able to update as frequently in the past week or so. In the meantime, check out my new story, The Unexpected. It is a sequel to Because I Have You! :) Reviews, please! Anything is appreciated. **


	37. Return of Vanessa

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: Return of Vanessa**

"No way," Derek was saying, a horrified look on his face. "There is _no way_ that we're buying clothes for our _dog_."

"But Der_ek_," she whined, sticking her lower lip out into a pout. "Don't you think Jade would look just adorable in a pink knit sweater?"

"I think Jade would look less annoyed if you kept him limited to his fur coat," Derek observed, holding back laughter at the look on her face. She had found a dog magazine in the downstairs lobby of the hospital, and there had been an order form inside for personalized dog clothes. Casey was obviously thrilled by this prospect, but Derek had a feeling that the poor dog would just about lose all respect for him, if he were to allow Casey to do such a thing to the creature.

Casey sighed, leaning back parallel to his headboard so that she could rest her head against his shoulder. His arm was draped across her shoulders, pulling her close to his side as she propped her legs up in front of her. It was much easier for them to be close to each other now that alot of the wires and machines had been removed from his hospital room. Alot of them were no longer necessary, since he was fully capable of taking care of himself in most context. He had been awake for five days now, and they suspected that he had another four days or so left to his hospital stay. They were basically just trying to monitor his brain activity over an expanded period of time, to make sure that there was no lasting damage. None had been found, and things looked good for his release date in four days.

"We'll talk about the dog clothes later," she decided, perhaps sensing it was not a good idea to bug him about it now. "We've got lots of other things to talk about, right?"

Derek raised an eyebrow as he scratched his forehead, still holding her against his side.

"Such as?" he questioned, realizing that she sounded like she had something particular in mind. "What is it you want to talk about?"

Casey shrugged her shoulders, but the blush on her cheeks told him everything he needed to know. She had something on her mind- that much was obvious.

"A few things, I guess," she said as casually as possible. "About us, you know?"

Derek was immediately interested, his mind tuned into anything that could possibly threaten their newfound relationship. He was going to do everything in his power to ensure that they stuck together, and nothing would get in the way of that.

"What is it?" he questioned, feeling a tiny bit nervous. "You didn't like... change your mind or anything, did you? You haven't rethought being together or something?"

A quick shake of the head put him at ease, and he felt his muscles relax once more. His worry was immediately set to the side, but he was by no means completely reassured. He knew that there was still something big on her mind, and he wanted to ensure that she wasn't worried about anything by the time this conversation was over.

"You don't have to worry about me changing my mind," she assured him, her voice completely honest. "Loving you... it's not even something I have control over anymore. I couldn't leave you if I wanted to, I don't think."

He nodded, urging her to go on. She was lacing her fingers together in front of her, something that he knew she only did when she was very nervous about something. He found himself frowning at her obvious batch of nerves, and he immediately reached out to cover both of her hands with his free one. He was alarmed when he found that she was shaking slightly, and he shook his head as he gave her a curious look.

"Casey, why are you so nervous?" he questioned, his overprotective side shining through. "You can tell me anything- you know that."

"Yeah," she said slowly, nodding her head to show that she understood. "I know I can. But I just... I don't want you to be mad at me or anything. And I think you... you might be."

He shook his head, raising one of her hands to his lips. He kissed the back of it, smiling softly as he spoke.

"I won't be angry," he said, promising himself that he would be understanding- if only for her sake. "I just want for us to be honest with each other. And if there's something you've got to tell me... if there's something that you're afraid to tell me-"

"Okay!" she cried, her eyes wide as she realized that he was going to lecture her about this. "I just wanted to ask you if... if it's okay for me and Justin to... you know... move in with you?"

She rushed the last part, but he somehow managed to catch her hurried words. He supposed he was just used to hearing her freak out by now- but nonetheless, he understood her. Not only did he understand what he had said, he wanted to die laughing at her words. He knew that this might hurt her feelings, so he settled for a quick chuckle and a shake of the head.

"_That's _why you're so worked up?" he asked, trying his best not to burst into laughter. Her hair fell around her blushed cheeks as she nodded, and this time he could not hold it in. He let a quick slip of loud laughter fall past his lips, but calmed himself quickly when he saw that she was annoyed with this reaction. He forced himself to look merely amused as he shrugged his shoulders at her request.

"Sorry, it's just that... I can't believe you would get so worked up over something like _that_," he said, grinning at the blushing girl in front of him. "Actually, I can't believe you'd even have to _ask_ me that. To be honest, I would be very offended if you guys didn't move into my apartment when I get released."

Some of the normal colour returned to her cheeks, and she raised her gaze slightly so that she could look him in the eye. When she saw that he was still fixing her with an amused grin, she put on a shy smile, looking uncertain.

"Really?" she asked, probably feeling foolish for making such a big deal out of this. "You mean it?"

He laughed, kissing the side of her head to completely reassure her. He felt her relax into his side, and he nodded his head to confirm his words.

"I definitely mean it," he told her, thrilled that she wanted to move in with him. "Justin's my son, Casey- and you're my girlfriend now. There's no reason for Justin not to live with both of his parents, and I really wouldn't mind having my girl around me twenty four seven."

Casey smiled at him, looking as though the weight of the world had been lifted off of her shoulders. He found it amusing that she had been so worked up over something that should have been painfully obvious to her all along. Had she honestly thought that he would say no to her on this? Did she think that he would have let her and Justin continue to live in that crackhouse of an apartment building, while he lived the good life in the most high-class area of Toronto? Those two would have everything they ever wanted, while under his care. They may not know it, but they had just stumbled upon a gauranteed life warranty, in Derek. They were taken care of for good, now. Even if something were to happen to him, he would ensure that those two would never suffer financially ever again. There had been enough struggling to make ends meet, and it was about time Casey's hard work paid off into something.

"Anything you want, Princess... you got it," he murmered, pressing a kiss to the base of her neck. "You're my main priority now, and if you want anything... you don't even have to ask."

"I can't spend your money without asking first," she asked, probably embarassed by his willingness to give up his money for her.

But he shook his head, dropping a line of kisses along her neck, drawn in by the scent of her perfume. He wanted to remind her that she was not allowed to wear perfume in the hospital, but he was too dazed by her presence to even bother with it.

"It's _our_ money now," he pointed out, eager to share everything with her. She looked hesitant, and he rushed to explain things to her. "Look, we're going to be living together. We have a son together, and that means we're going to have to get used to sharing the responsibility, the apartment, and yes... our money."

"But-"

"No buts," he interrupted her, unwilling to budge on this one. "What's mine is ours. You've been spending money on our son for almost seven years now, and it's time that I make up for that. You've done your part- let me do mine. I just want to take care of you guys, but you've got to let me."

She seemed to realize that there was no sense in arguing with him, because she sighed with defeat, smiling gently at him.

"I don't _technically_ have to let you do anything at all," she pointed out, a hint of teasing to her voice. "You know me- I don't listen to anyone, Venturi."

He raised an eyebrow, smirking at her obvious confidence. The atmosphere between them shifted immediately, and he knew that things were fine again. They were back into their regular ways of joking around, and he was grateful for it. As much as he wanted to make sure everything was perfect between them, he loved playing around with her like this. Nothing made him happier than getting under her skin, on most days.

"You listen to _me_," he said, his voice very matter of fact and precise. "You know better than to ignore anything I say."

"Oh _really_?" she challenged, straightening up a little bit. She shook her head, showing off a sexy little smirk of her own. "I've got you wrapped around my finger, my friend. You don't stand a chance."

"Oh yeah?" he questioned, willing himself to stop from looking into her eyes. If he did that, he'd get too caught up to even bother defending his weak willpower. He leaned closer to her, and as hard as he tried to avoid her gaze, he found himself staring into his own reflection in her eyes. The blue orbs were dazzling and mysterious, so easy to get caught up in- but he somehow managed to hold on a little bit longer.

"Try me, McDonald."

He shouldn't have even said anything. The moment the words had left his mouth, he wanted to snatch them back from midair. He should not have challenged her when he was already so obviously weakened by her gaze. He could never win against a determined Casey, and he knew that he did not stand a chance against her right now.

And what's more, he knew that she knew that.

She shifted so that she was lying almost on her side, his arm wrapped more around her back than anything else. She hovered over him teasingly, and he found himself gulping as her face inched closer to his. Her hair fell around her shoulders, and the brown strands danced lightly across the skin of his neck. Goosebumps rose on his already flushed skin, and he gulped in happy surprise as her forehead pressed against his. Her blue eyes stared right into his brown ones, and he grimaced as he prepared himself for the worst.

_'Yep_,' he thought to himself, wanting to slap himself already. '_I'm a goner.'_

Sure enough, she did exactly what he had suspected she would do. As he continued to hold her against his chest, she raised one hand to tangle through the mop of messy brown hair in front of her. Her fingernails grazed his scalp with skilled measure, and he shuddered as she brushed her nose against his. Her smirk alone was enough to drive him crazy- the rest of it was just adding to her already lethal intentions. He knew by the look in her eyes that she was well aware of how crazy she was making him, and he knew that she absolutely loved it. She brought her lips closer to his, and he was just beginning to wonder if she would kiss him- but then she stopped. Her lips were quite possibly less than a centimeter away from his, and her warm breath against his lips was nearly unbearable. He could hear his mind just screaming to kiss her, but the logical side of him knew that this was a test. She was trying to prove that he could not deny her, but he was going to prove her wrong. Damn her and her beautiful blue eyes, her gorgeous brown hair, her cherry red lips...

And before he could process what was happening, he was kissing her. His lips were moving against hers easily, and he could feel her smirking right into the kiss. She knew that she had won, and he knew it too- but he didn't care at all. Sure, maybe Casey had won their little test, but he was pretty sure that the reward was worth losing. He would take this sort of prize anyday.

His hands were roaming across her back now, and he knew that his mind would soon be too far gone to back out of anything. He tried to remind himself over and over that he was in a hospital bed- not at home. This was not the place for any sexual antics to be carried out. And while he knew this, a much larger part of him did not care. When Casey got him worked up, it was a rare occasion when he was able to back down and stop kissing her. And right now, with the way she was moving against him... well, he was pretty sure he was already in too deep.

"You... you lose," Casey mumbled, managing to get the word out between kisses. Her voice was strained and breathy, something that she had to know drove him crazy. He kissed her even harder in an attempt to shut her up, but she pressed her hands against his chest to try and push him away.

"Come on," she giggled, trying her best to pull away. "Derek, that's not helping anything."

"It's helping me," he murmered happily, his eyes dark as he struggled to keep a claim on her lips. When he could not keep her in his hold anymore, he groaned and flopped down against the bed with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. Casey laughed, but did not shift from her spot on top of him as she traced her fingers along the outline of his lips. It was a concious effort to keep himself from kissing her again, and her fingers against his lips was almost excruciating.

In an attempt to reason with him, she smiled and spoke up.

"We're in a hospital."

"Don't care."

"Someone might see us."

"They might enjoy the show."

"We'll have lots of time for this in four days, when you get out of the hospital."

He shook his head, his hand gripping the back of her head as he pulled her closer.

"I need something to hold me over until then," he got out, grinning as he pulled her back down to him. Before she could protest, he was kissing her with all he had. Every ounce of logic she had ever possessed told her that they really shouldn't be fooling around like this in a hospital room, but it was obvious that Derek was much to set on his goal to even bother reasoning with him. He was determined, and he had already won. Who was she to deny the great Derek Venturi what he really wanted?

Just as she decided to give up and let him kiss her, her ears picked up on something across the room. She tensed slightly, but Derek's lips were moving just as furiously as before- meaning that he had not heard a thing. Deciding that her mind was just playing tricks on her, she ignored it. A moment later, she heard another noise- this one more distinct and clear. It was the sound of someone clearing their throat, and this time Derek heard it too. He froze beneath her, pulling back only enough to tilt his head to the side. His hand was still resting on the back of Casey's head, and as they both caught sight of the source of the noise, everything went silent. She could practically feel her heart beating against her chest, and she could feel how tense Derek was beneath her.

"Hope I wasn't interrupting anything," said Vanessa, her voice strained and rough. Casey could see that she was clenching her fists to keep from hitting someone, and she could tell by the look in her eyes that the sight of Derek kissing Casey was way too much for her to take in. Casey knew that this was the perfect opportunity to be smug and rub things in Vanessa's face, just like Vanessa had done when things were the other way around. A part of her wanted nothing more than to show off her prize, to remind Vanessa that she had won. But another part of her knew that hurting someone like she had been hurt was just not right. Despite all that Vanessa had done to her, she still could not bring herself to be the bad one in all of this. Vanessa may find pride in bringing pain to others, but she didn't. And it was that mentality that forced her to pull back from Derek, and wipe her mouth on the back of her sleeve. She rushed to straighten out her shirt, before she looked back up at Vanessa with a false smile plastered across her face.

"Sorry about that," she said, and Vanessa's eyes remained cold and unmoving as she blinked at the woman.

Knowing that she was not going to get a reply, she sighed, and allowed Derek to take her hand. She figured that this much should not bug Vanessa too badly- maybe just enough for a little bit of revenge.

"What are you here for?" she asked, wondering why Vanessa had decided to drop by unannounced.

Vanessa stared at Casey for a moment, before shifting her gaze to Derek. Casey noticed that her eyes softened slightly upon seeing her ex, but it was not nearly enough to label as a friendly sort of look. She knew that Vanessa held nothing against Derek, but she also knew that there would be bitterness there as a result of Derek's choice to remain with Casey.

"I'm here to talk to Derek," she said, her voice completely void of emotion. Her cold eyes shifted to Casey once more, and she gave her a cold smile as she tilted her head.

"_Alone_."

The word stung, and Casey could not help but wince at what Vanessa could possibly want to get Derek alone for. She knew that Vanessa had technically already surrendered. She had turned over a new leaf, hadn't she? She could only hope that Vanessa had not been lying when she said that she would step aside to let Derek be with Casey.

But still, she was uneasy as she watched Derek give Vanessa a confused look, and shake his head.

"Why do you have to talk to me?" he asked, and she was relieved to hear that he sounded very reluctant to be alone with his ex. Unwillingly, echoes of everything he had told her before flashed through her mind, and she could feel nausea sweep over her. He had told her that he was not over Vanessa, and that it would take awhile. What would happen when he was alone with her? Would old feelings resurface? Would he be able to control himself with the girl that he had been with for so long? She knew that she had to trust him and trust that he would stay loyal, but she could not help but feel uneasy.

She only tuned back into the conversation when Vanessa spoke up, replying to Derek's question.

"We have a few things we need to sort out," she said flatly, shrugging her shoulders.

Derek raised an eyebrow, surprised.

"We do?" he questioned, obviously not feeling the same way.

Vanessa merely nodded, and turned to Casey with a smug and bitter look in her eyes.

"If we could have a moment?" she suggested, and Casey took that as her hint to leave. She instantly felt sick to her stomach at the thought of leaving the two of them together, and the tension must have shown on her face, for Derek noticed. He leaned closer to her, nodding his head with a pointed look in his eyes.

"It's okay," he assured her, his voice honest. "I won't be very long, I can promise you that."

She was sure that his words were doubling as a promise to her, and a hint to Vanessa, something that she took as a good sign. He didn't seem to want to be alone with her, and she supposed that this was all that should matter to her. She knew where his loyalty was, and because she was supposed to have faith in him, she nodded her head. Her lips displayed a very forced smile, and she looked back and forth between the two of them, trying not to picture what could happen between them.

"I'll leave you to it then," she forced out, though her mind screamed at her to do something to stop this insanity. Derek was _her_ boyfriend, he was _her_ man. What right did Vanessa have to come in here now, after everything that had happened, and try to talk him into some crazy mixed up schemes? She could only pray that this was innocent, and that it was just finalizations- for closure of some sort. Maybe it wasn't even about the two of them. For all she knew, it could be business related.

But she severely doubted it, and she knew that he was catching onto her insecurity and panic. She stood up to walk away, but she had only taken one step forwards when she found herself being pulled back towards the bed. She opened her mouth to question Derek, but he merely wound his arms tightly around her body, his face buried against her hair. Her eyes lingered on Vanessa, who looked ready to kill, but she managed to wrap her arms around his neck to return the hug.

"Derek?" she whispered, confused as to why he was suddenly so eager to hug her. She might have said more, but he rushed to get out whatever it was that was on his mind.

"You don't have to worry, babe," he murmered, his voice soft and reassuring. "You could put me in a room with a thousand girls, and I'd never turn my back on you. I've got everything I need right here in my arms."

She could've melted right into his arms then and there, and every single ounce of doubt she had felt about this situation evaporated immediately into thin air. She felt horrible for even suspecting that he would cheat on her, or go back to Vanessa. She never should have displayed such a lack of faith in him, for he had proved to be his amazing self once again.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice cracking on the last syllable as she squeezed her eyes shut. "You don't know what that means to me."

He kissed the side of her head then and let her go. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Vanessa giving Casey an almost vicious stare, as though she wanted nothing more than to take the girl down with one swing. Casey figured that this must be pretty hard for her to watch, but it's not like they were going to hide their relationship because Vanessa was jealous. She would not flaunt anything, but she would do nothing to hide the fact that she was in love with Derek. Vanessa had not shown her that courtesey, so why would she?

Casey walked proudly towards the door, feeling nothing but confidence and reassurance in Derek, and in their relationship. She knew that it did not matter if Vanessa was here to try and win him back or not- Derek had no interest in getting back together with her, and he would not allow his loyalty to falter from her. There was no doubt in her mind that he was happy right where he was.

Casey's hand was on the doorknob when she heard Derek's voice speak up behind her, almost too cruel and taunting.

"When we're done talking, I'd appreciate it if you sent my _girlfriend_ back in here to see me," he said, and Casey's hand froze on the doorknob. She heard Vanessa mutter something under her breath, and she couldn't help but do what she did. Despite her desire to be a good person, and despite the fact that she was trying to refrain from acting like Vanessa...

She could not help but smirk.

She was Derek's girl, after all.

* * *

**So I know you're all thinking 'Oh God, she's back!', and I can't blame you. I know Casey should have more faith in Derek- but believe me when I say that she has full faith in him once he told her that she was all he needed. Her fear was understandable, I think. Consider the fact that Vanessa had been known to take everything in Casey's life, and destroy it. Whenever Casey is happy in the slightest, Vanessa has found a way to bring her down again. Now that she finally has the one thing she wanted all along, Casey was terrified that Vanessa would go against their agreement and try to win Derek back. But Vanessa is really not as evil as she seems, and Casey has full faith in good ol' Derek... even if he has been known to play them back and forth.**

**Review for an update. **

**Three chapters left. **


	38. So In Love With Two

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. So sad. **

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: So In Love With Two**

The moment Casey was outside the door, Vanessa seemed much more relaxed. When she had been threatened with another female presence, she had kept cool and defensive, strong and tense. She had held her ground firmly, as though she was making it clear that Casey could not control her. Derek knew that this was just another stage of their rivalry that they had not overcome yet, and he was willing to let it slide... for now. Eventually, they would have to get over this petty hatred for one another, even if they were just pretending. Derek was not going to be able to focus if his girlfriend hated his top client, and vice versa.

The moment Casey was removed from their presence, she was herself again. Her body visibly relaxed as she crossed the room, and took a seat in the spot that Casey had formerly been occupying. She was sitting just a little bit too close for comfort, and Derek found himself shifting away from her slightly, an annoyed look on his face. She looked momentarily offended, but she appeared to let it slide as she sighed, raising an eyebrow at the man she had formerly called her own.

"How are you feeling?" she tried, and he saw through her cover immediately. She was not here to question him about his health, nor was she here on any innocent intentions. Vanessa had a mission, and he just wanted to get it out of the way as quickly as possible, so that he could get back to Casey.

He shook his head at her, trying to keep his voice free of any bitterness or resentment.

"What do you _really_ want, Vanessa?" he questioned, satisfied when he heard that his voice sounded calm and collective. "I know you're not here to check in on me, so don't even pretend like that's the case. I know you well enough to know when you're up to something, and... well..."

She shook her head, laughing slightly at his accusation. She raised a hand to brush her long blonde hair over her shoulder, and he frowned slightly when he realized that she was making an obvious attempt at flirting with him. He didn't appreciate this, though he knew he should have suspected it from the moment she walked into the room.

"I'm not up to anything," she tried to tell him, though he didn't believe her in the slightest. "I just... I wanted to talk to you about a couple of things- that's all."

"You want me back," he said immediately, his eyebrows creasing together as he folded his arms across his chest. "You can admit it to me, you know; I'm not completely stupid."

Vanessa bit her lower lip, and for a moment he was certain that she was going to deny this to him. It would be useless of her to even try, and she would end up admitting it to him in the long run, so he was relieved when she shrugged her shoulders, cutting to the chase.

"I won't lie when I say that I think you're making the biggest mistake of your life," she said, shaking her head at him in dismay. "Why you'd ever choose someone like _her_... well, I'm not sure. I never came here to try and take you away from Casey. The two of us came to an agreement the other day, and for once... I'm sticking by my word. We both agreed to let you choose whoever you wanted to be with. We both just wanted you to be happy with your choice and... and you chose her. You love her, you regret being with me and... it's over, okay? You don't have to feel sorry for me."

At some point in her little speech, her confidence had gone down, and there was a look of absolute pain in her eyes. He hated that he was causing her such horrible pain, and despite his love for Casey, he felt himself longing to hold her and dry away her tears. He knew that he would probably have these sorts of longings for a long time to come. He had been looking after Vanessa for a long time now, and it was natural for him to want to comfort her when she was upset. And it was occuring to him now that he could still comfort her- even if he was with Casey. Just because they were broken up, didn't mean that they could not be friends, right?

She had turned away from him, and his hand touched her elbow gently, turning her back towards him. Her gaze had been fixed on the floor, but she managed to look into his eyes when he spoke up, his voice concerned.

"Let's get one thing straight," he said, shaking his head as he narrowed his eyes. "I... I _don't_ regret being with you, Vanessa. Me and you... we had alot of good times together, even if everything ended badly. Maybe things ended up like this, but... I wouldn't take back our relationship, not for anything."

She looked up then, her eyes surprised as she saw that he was smiling at her. She looked very uncertain, and he could not blame her for how doubtful her voice sounded when she spoke up again.

"You really mean that?" she asked, and when he nodded, he saw her sigh with relief. A sad sort of smile graced her lips, and she leaned back a bit more. "Wow. I mean... I thought that what you felt for Casey sort of... erased whatever you felt for me. It's been hard on me, thinking that our entire relationship was just one big regret for you. You can't even begin to imagine how horrible I've felt, thinking that we were a mistake in your eyes."

He found himself shaking his head, and his hand wrapped gently around hers as he tried his best to be comforting, without sending off too big of a signal. He felt like holding her hand would be okay. It wasn't like he was betraying Casey by holding another girl's hand, in a friendly manner. This was something that he had done with Casey for months now, while he was still with Vanessa. A friendly holding of the hand was not a big deal to him, and he hoped it wouldn't be a big deal for Casey either.

"We were never a mistake," he assured her, knowing that she needed to understand his feelings in order for her to move on. "I never want you thinking that you mean nothing to me, because that's not true either. You were right in saying that I'm in love with Casey, because that's the absolute truth. Case may annoy me to no end, and she may be the most difficult person on the face of the earth... but we just... we _fit_, you know? It's like we somehow balance each other out, and that's something that I never felt, when I was with you."

Vanessa bowed her head, obviously hurt by his words, but he knew that he had to continue. This may be hard for her to hear, but it was better to get it all out there. At least if he told her everything, she might be able to move on and find someone else much quicker than if he lied to her, or kept silent.

"You may not understand this right now, but one day you'll find the person you belong with, and you'll know that I was right. You'll understand why I have to leave you for her. She's the right girl for me, Ness. And one day, you'll find the right guy for _you_- someone who will make you feel as amazing as she makes me feel."

He was still holding her hand, and he could feel her clenching her fingers a little more tightly around his, as though she was refraining from saying something she didn't want to share with him. The look on her face suggested that she was contemplating something, and sure enough- she finally sighed, and looked up at him. She looked confused, and she looked hurt, and he could not blame her for feeling any of those things. She may not understand now, but she would remember this conversation someday, when she was finally with the person she belonged with. She would remember, and she would _understand_. And maybe then, it wouldn't hurt half as much as it did right now.

"I feel like _you're_ the right guy for me," she admitted, sounding as if she felt weak and pathetic for thinking such a thing. "I feel like you're going to go off with her, and I'm going to spend the rest of my stupid life obsessing over you. I can't explain it to you, but it's just like... well, you're the only guy I've ever felt this strongly about. And to be honest... you're the only guy who's ever... well..."

"Who's ever what, Ness?" he questioned, rubbing his thumb across the back of her wrist. "Come on, you can tell me anything."

She bit her lip gently, before looking back up at him with flushed cheeks. It was obvious that she was embarassed over this, but she managed to force the words past her lips.

"You're the only one who's ever liked me for _me_," she got out, her voice choked. "And honestly, you're the only one who's ever stuck around long enough to make me feel good about myself."

He felt his heart break for her, and the small part of him that had thought she was just begging for attention instantly disappeared. He knew Vanessa well enough to know when she was begging for a few pity points, and when she was truly upset. And while he'd had his doubts in the beginning, it was not hard to tell that she was truly upset over this one. And despite everything she had done to sabotage Justin and Casey, he could not help but feel sorry for her. The poor woman had honestly tried her hardest to keep him, in the only way she knew how. Maybe she had gone about it the wrong way, but that was just how Vanessa handled things. She acted without thinking of consequences, and that was something that she had always done. How could he be mad at her for being herself?

Before he could say anything, she had squeezed his hand a little bit harder, and was continuing her speech in a slightly broken voice.

"All the other guys I've ever been with only stayed with me because I was good looking," she said, giving a cold laugh at the memory. "They stuck around long enough to get what they wanted, and then I was yesterday's news. They'd tell their friends all about me, and I guess I sort of got a reputation for being _easy_. I've been told that I've got a big head, and that's probably how that developed."

"Yeah, you do tend to be a bit... self-involved, at times..." Derek said, and when he caught sight of the furious look she was giving him, he shrugged his shoulders, laughing. "What? You said it yourself; you've got a big head! It's not _such_ a bad thing, being so concerned with yourself! Look how far I've gotten!"

Vanessa snorted, rolling her eyes as a tiny smirk appeared on her lips.

"Yeah, because being compared to you is _really_ reassuring," she noted, and he frowned, obviously offended by her comment.

"Not cool, Vanessa," he noted, shaking his head at her. "You've wounded my ego."

She laughed, shrugging her shoulders at him.

"It's quite a large ego; I'm sure it'll recover."

"Maybe," he said, raising an eyebrow as he pretended to be concerned. "But if it doesn't, I'll be billing you for the therapy my future may require."

She watched him for a moment, before she managed to grin, unable to hold back her amusement at his comments. Releasing her hand from his, she ruffled his hair playfully in response.

"You're such a dork," she informed him, and he smirked, leaning back against the headboard behind him.

"White and nerdy- that's how I roll."

She shook her head at him, still grinning, and a look of realization washed over Derek's formerly amused features. As he watched her, the grin faded away from her features, and she realized that he was thinking hard about something.

"What is it?" she asked him, noting the way he was watching her. "Have I got something on my face?"

She quickly reached to wipe her mouth, but he shook his head at her, his hand closing around hers again. He brought her hand back down to rest against the bed with his, and he gave her a half smile, still looking a bit dazed.

"You smiled," he said to her, relief washing over him immensely. "I broke up with you, and you can still smile."

She frowned, not wanting him to think that this was a good sign, or anything.

"I'm smiling because I'm with you," she tried to tell him, but he laughed, shaking his head at her.

"I didn't smile for four months after Casey broke up with me- did I ever tell you that?" he asked, and when she shook her head, he went on. "I felt like my entire world had been shaken and destroyed, when she left me. I felt like the world's biggest idiot for taking the relationship so _seriously_ all the time. It was like she had deprived me of all oxygen, of all will to live. There was a point when I absolutely hated myself for getting so torn up over what had happened. I had never been an emotional guy, and all of a sudden... I was like an emotional train wreck. Everything I did somehow reminded me of _her_, and because of that... I didn't manage to smile until about four months later."

Vanessa looked thoughtful for a moment, obviously trying to place meaning into what he had just said. After a moment, she looked back up at him, slightly confused.

"So you're saying it's a good thing... that I can smile this early on?"

He nodded, grinning at her as he realized how easily she had caught on.

"Yeah," he confirmed to her, pleased with her for getting through this so quickly. "That's exactly what I'm saying. You're a strong girl, Vanessa- and I can only hope that means you'll get over this... _me_... a whole lot quicker. I don't want you to suffer anymore than you have to."

"And you?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow at him. "Are _you_ suffering over this at all? Or are you so caught up in your new girlfriend that I don't even pass your mind anymore?"

He looked down, blushing at the first sign of bitterness in her voice. He should have known that they could not remain friendly throughout this entire conversation, though a large part of him was relieved that they were going to get this over with as quickly as possible. He was unsure of how to answer her question, for how did someone tell their ex- fiancee their feelings about such a bitter breakup?

"It hurts, you know? That you can move onto her so quickly."

"It wasn't quick," he got out, cringing at the pain in her voice. "What I feel for her... it wasn't spontaneous, or anything. I think you know just as well as I do that a part of me never let go of her, and it didn't take much for me to... to fall for her all over again, when I found her."

Vanessa was silent, somehing that he took as his cue to continue. Without any questioning, he went on with his explanation.

"I know this hurts for you to hear, and the last thing I want to do is cause you anymore grief, but... you need to know why I did this."

Her head was bowed now, and he knew that she was trying to hide the look of hurt that was obviously in her eyes. He cringed at the unhappiness he was causing her, but he knew it would only cause her more pain in the long run, if he were to stop now.

"I can't tell you what I felt, when I found her again," he said, more quietly this time. When she looked up to see him, he was squinting at his own lap, his mind obviously focused elsewhere, on memories she would never understand. Ignoring his lack of focus on the conversation, she continued to listen to his explanation.

"It was right after you left," he said, biting his lip as he thought back to that morning. "I was finishing off my drink, and I caught sight of a girl at the counter. She was back on, so it was sort of hard to be sure if it was her, but... as stupid as it sounds, something in the back of my mind just _knew_ it was Casey. I didn't want to get up and check, just in case I was wrong... but then I heard her laugh. The sound of it... it just sent goosebumps up and down my arms, and I knew it couldn't be anyone else but her."

"After all those years," she murmered quietly, obviously not wanting to hear this. "You hadn't spoken to her in over three years... seven, whatever way you want to put it... and you still remembered the sound of her laughter?"

He nodded, no words coming to mind as he stared blankly at the bottom of his bed. She watched him with uneasy eyes for a moment, before shaking her head and letting out a deep breath.

"Wow," she breathed out, looking disappointed and shocked at the same time. "That's... uh, that's pretty incredible. I can barely remember what I had for breakfast, let alone have the laughter of one of my ex- boyfriend's memorized completely."

"Yeah," he got out, a slight smile on his lips as he thought that over. "I knew it was her when she laughed. I wasn't too sure it was a good idea to go over and talk to her. I mean, deep down I knew it was Casey... but another part of me still had my doubts. And besides that, I had no idea what I was supposed to say to her, once I saw her again. I mean, we had a really bad breakup. We said we would stay friends, and we never did. I was half afraid that she'd run away from me the second she recognized me."

"And?" Vanessa questioned, raising an eyebrow at him. "Did she?"

Derek smiled faintly, chuckling at the memory of how shocked Casey had been in the cafe, that day.

"She tried to," he recalled, remembering the way she had tried to turn away from him. "She recognized me, and then she sort of just... turned away. It was like she couldn't handle bringing back everything from our past, and I guess she didn't want me to find out about our son, either. It was like... she had her own little life, and she didn't want to complicate mine with any of her problems. She thought that she could just take back what had just happened, and we'd go back to the way we were before."

"But something changed that," Vanessa observed, more of a statement than anything else. "I'm guessing that you convinced her to talk to you, since things are where they are today?"

"Yeah," he confirmed, nodding his head. "I told her to talk to me, and I told her that I knew it was her. At the time, I told myself that I just wanted to see how she had been doing, and that I didn't want her to turn away because... because it would prove that she hated me. But there was something in the back of my mind that just caused me to panic, when she turned away from me. It was like I knew that letting her go again would be a mistake. I had just found her again, and something in me just didn't want to lose her for a second time. It was too hard, the first time."

She nodded, understanding what he meant, and they both fell into an awkward and uncomfortable silence. Derek was eyeing Vanessa, as though waiting for her to say something to him, and she was watching him with equally as much interest. Neither one of them knew what to say. They were at a standstill. Vanessa wanted Derek, Derek wanted Casey, and Casey had already won. There was no way of making it so that everyone could win, and he could do nothing to take away her pain. He knew this, but yet he knew that he had to try his hardest to ease her heartache, if only a little bit.

Sighing, he used his free hand to brush a few strands of hair away from her eyes. He tucked the loose strands behind her ears, before looking up into her blue eyes, tilting his head at her. She watched him hesitantly, as though unsure of his actions, and he found himself pulling her a little bit closer to him with the help of their entwined hands. She squirmed slightly, perhaps uncomfortable with the closeness between them, but she said nothing as he stared into her eyes.

"I never wanted to make you hurt like this," he said, hoping that she would believe his words. "Despite all of this... I really do care about you, and I don't like having to see you like this."

She nodded, and despite how strong she was trying to come off as, he could spot the tears in her eyes. Struggling to try and ignore them for now, he went on.

"Please try and understand that you still mean alot to me," he begged, his voice cracking slightly on the last syllables. "This isn't _easy_ for me, Ness; it never was. There's always going to be a part of me that cares for you, and... and a part of me will always love you... but it's just not enough. I never had a choice, when it came to Casey. From the moment I met the girl, it was like my future was set in stone. If there was anyway I could fix all of this and make you happy, I would. But you've got to understand... there's just nothing I can do."

A couple of tears had slipped down her cheeks, and he acknowledged that this was more real than Vanessa had ever acted around him. He had never seen her open up to anyone like this, and it killed him that she had waited so long to finally be real, with him. They could've been so amazing together, if only she had done this long ago.

He used the pad of his thumb on his free hand to wipe away a couple of her tears, and the hand that was joined with hers squeezed her hand gently. He was trying to reassure her, but it was obvious that it wasn't working. She was still crying, and for the first time, he could honestly see how much he meant to her. Losing him was killing her, and there were no more doubts in his mind that she did not love him. She _did_ love him- she just didn't know how to express it properly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, shaking his head as he cupped her cheek in his free hand. "What I feel for her... I can't go back on that now. This was bound to happen, and... if there's anything I can do for you... anything at all that would ease your pain..."

She gave a choked laugh, shaking her head with tear filled eyes.

"Give me my life back," she joked, and his only reply to her was a sad sort of smile. He pulled her a tiny bit closer, and before she knew what was happening, his lips had touched very gently against hers. Her eyes closed immediately, and her heart clenched at the feeling. She was unsure of why he was kissing her, but she was definitely sure of the emotions that were radiating off of him right now. She could feel his remorse, and his pain. There was no denying that he really did feel horrible about all of this, and a small part of her knew that she should be kissing him back. This would more than likely be the last time she would ever kiss Derek Venturi, and she should be making it count, right?

But before she could even try and kiss him back, he had pulled away from her, and he was looking into her eyes again. She searched desperately for some small sign of affection or realization in his eyes, but she found none. She saw only sadness, and sorrow. She knew then, that the kiss had held different meaning, for him. He may have kissed her, but it was really for _her_, to allow her to gain closure much faster. The one kiss that meant the world to her meant very little to him. Sure, he had told her that he would always love her, in his own way... but she also knew that there was someone else he would much rather be kissing.

And she would just have to accept that.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again, touching his lips against hers briefly- more of a friendly kiss than anything else. The moment he pulled back, he dropped his hand from her cheek, and pressed his lips against her forehead. His hand held the back of her head this time, and he felt her arms wind around his neck in a sad sort of hug. The hand that had been wrapped in hers dropped immediately, and he found himself wrapping it around her waist, holding her to him as he tried his hardest not to cry. He wasn't a crying sort of person; that just wasn't who he was.

And they sat there for a good ten minutes, neither of them saying a word. It had never been like this, during the whole two years that they had been together. Derek had never understood that there was a whole other side to Vanessa- an emotional side that she had never let him see before. What hurt the most was that he really, _really liked _this side of her. If she had been like this more often, if she had just opened up to him like this before... maybe it would have changed something.

Maybe, _maybe_. It was such an uncertain word, and he knew that it was not a chance he would be willing to take. Because, while he longed to have spent more time with this side of Vanessa- the side he had never really known, a larger part of him knew that there was not a single side of Casey that he did not know and love. There had never been any doubts with her, and he had loved her from the beginning. She had never tried to be someone she wasn't, just for him, and he loved that about her.

And after years and years of watching stupid movies with idiotic men who moped and whined about being in love with two women at the same time... he finally understood. He had never fully comprehended how difficult it must be for anyone with such divided feelings... but now he knew. He knew heartache, and he knew what it was like to be forced to make a choice in love.

And he also understood that he would not regret this choice. In the end, it still came down to who he could not live without. And no matter what, his answer would always be Casey.

* * *

**So Daseyers probably want to toss me to the sharks, right about now, and you won't like me much more after I say this. **

**Writing this chapter gave me a new perspective on... would we call it 'Danessa'? I had never written a chapter purely with Vanessa and Derek, and their relationship... and it scares me to say that I _liked _it. For some reason, Danessa really grew on me while writing this chapter.**

**And with that being said... this chapter will now have an extra chapter tacked onto it, as a direct result of this chapter, meaning there will be three more chapters after this one, as opposed to the two I had planned before.**

**I will review upon updates. Chapter is almost ready to it's up to you guys! **


	39. A Silent Understanding

**There was a review questioning why Derek "hated Vanessa and did not want to marry her" and the beginning of this story, and is suddenly in love with her now. This is touched on in Casey's thoughts at the very end, but I will explain to you more clearly.**

**Derek never "hated" Vanessa. If you go back and read the first chapter over again, you will see that he has always loved her- it is just not as strong as what he feels for Casey, and because of that, he is unsure of how valid his feelings really are. They are being overpowered by something else, and he feels as though maybe it wasn't love. In all reality, it was, and is still love. A part of him still loves Vanessa, and a part of him probably always was. As is explained in this chapter- he claims that he was 'forced' into proposing to her- but who was the one who bought the ring, who got down on one knee and asked her to marry him? In the beginning of this story, Derek was still the sort of guy who does not take responsibility for his own actions, but now he is beginning to understand that he was never _forced_ to do anything. He has the power to say no- he just chose not to. **

**And on another note, Vanessa has changed throughout this story as well. Derek was uncertain of his feelings for her, because she was frequently doing something that he did not approve of. She was being self-centered and cruel for a larger portion of this story, and this made Casey seem alot more desireable, in comparison. When Derek sees her open up to him, he is reminded of why he fell in love with her, and he knows what he is losing. When he chose to ditch the wedding, he had not thought it through entirely. He was caught up in some brave moment of playing the hero and proving to Casey how much he loved her- but he never stopped to think about what he was doing to poor Vanessa. Now that he sees what he has done to her, he feels bad, and he realizes what he did was not right. He realizes now that he is losing her, that he has been so concentrated on Casey, he did not stop to think of the things he would miss by giving up Vanessa.**

**With that boring explanation out of the way, ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

**Chapter Thirty-Nine: A Silent Understanding**

If this was closure, Derek didn't like it at all. From the moment Vanessa had left the room, he'd felt something that he hadn't anticipated feeling, when she was gone. He felt empty inside. He felt lost and confused, and most of all- he felt pain. He hadn't thought that his final closure with Vanessa Williams would leave him feeling anything short of relief, but the feelings were there. He felt no happiness in knowing that she was gone, in knowing that it was all over. He knew that this meant he could settle down and be with Casey now, but it wasn't bringing him as much joy as he had originally planned on. He knew that it had nothing to do with Casey, and that it had more to do with the fact that he had hurt Vanessa so much. He had underestimated her ability to feel, and it was that very mistake that had overlooked the extent of the pain she was feeling.

He knew that this hurt now, but on another note, he knew that it would get better. In time, Vanessa would move on from him, and it would be that much easier for him to focus more on Casey, and his future with her. He wouldn't hurt like this forever, not as long as he had Casey by his side. She would take away his pain, and he would learn to be a better boyfriend than he had started off as. To be honest, he was already questioning why she had not just left him, yet. He knew that it had to hurt, to watch him so heartbroken over some other girl, and the last thing he needed was to cause her to feel pain as well. Having things turn out like this was never his intention, but he knew that he had to deal with it. He was secure in the knowledge that he had made the right choice, and he knew that he would never regret choosing Casey. If loving her was a mistake, it was a mistake worth making.

When Casey peeked in through his partially open door, he instantly wished that he had not told Vanessa to bring her back in. He had thought that he would be able to face her, but looking at her now, he knew that this was going to be harder than he had anticipated. Being around Casey while he was so torn up over Vanessa was probably not the best of ideas, and he wished with all of his might that he could somehow tell her to stay away, for a little while. Anything he said right now could come out the wrong way, and he didn't want her to get angry with him. He was just confused, and that was really no reason for her to suffer.

On another note, a smaller part of him felt as if he _should_ be spending time around Casey. Sure, his mind was focused on Vanessa right now, but maybes spending time with his girlfriend would remind him of who he was supposed to be concentrated on. If Casey was in the room, he might feel better alot faster. He would have a reminder of what he was earning, by giving up Vanessa. That was the only bright side to having her in the room, that he could think of, and he knew that it was not nearly enough to want her around, right now.

But Casey, God love her, had no idea of what Derek had just gone through. She seemed to be under the impression that his talk with Vanessa had been completely easy on him, and that he was not upset in the slightest. He knew that she would pick up on his hostility and bitterness within moments of being in the room, and he was well prepared to do some fast talking. He had no intentions on lying to her about anything. When she asked why he was upset, he would tell her. His policy of honesty seemed to be hurting alot of people today, and it was definitely going against his 'no feelings' policy as well, but he knew that it would do everyone alot of good in the long run, once this had cleared up a bit.

Closing the door behind her, she crept into the room silently. Derek's eyes followed her as she crossed the room, and perched herself next to him on the bed. His heartbeat sped up slightly when he felt her next to him- yet another reminder that he was making the right choice here. Nobody else's touch could ever do that to him- not in a million years. When her fingers slipped through his, and she squeezed his hand, he could've sworn that his heart nearly broke for her. She had the most beautiful of smiles on her face right about now, and she was looking at her boyfriend as though he was the most amazing person in the world. And to be honest, he felt like scum right now- the farthest from amazing he could ever get.

"How's my favourite patient?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow as she studied his clenched jaw with concern. He knew that she could already sense his tension, but he felt that a nice attempt at misleading her could do him no wrong, if he could get away with it.

He could not manage a smile, but he forced himself to shrug his shoulders, and give her a an amused expression.

"I'd be alot better if I was your _only_ patient," he said, hoping she would not see through his facade. "I shouldn't have to be your _favourite_, because I should be the only man in this joint that you're interested in seeing."

Casey laughed, scooting a little bit closer to him as she kept a hold on his hand with her own.

"You are, baby," she said, gripping his chin with her free hand, and pulling his face closer to her own. "You don't have to worry about that."

Before he could respond, she had pressed her lips against his firmly. He had a feeling that she wanted to continue what had been interrupted before, and a small part of him wanted nothing more than to let her. Kissing Casey would be a great way to focus his mind on the right girl, wouldn't it? But still, the majority of his being felt a nagging reminder that he had kissed someone else only minutes before, and he knew that kissing Casey would just upset him a whole lot more than necessary.

So he forced himself to pull back, trying to ignore the hurt and confusion that flickered across his girlfriend's face. His eyes lowered to his own feet, and it was a concious effort to keep himself from looking up at her. He didn't think he could handle the fact that he had caused someone else pain; not today.

"Derek?" he heard her question, letting his hand release from hers, and drop to the bed. "Derek, what's wrong?"

He could hear the panic in her voice, and he knew that a thousand worries must be crossing her mind right now. She probably thought that he had gone against his word to her, and had patched things up completely with Vanessa. She probably thought that he had changed his mind, and that he was about to re-kindle the smothered flames of his and Vanessa's relationship. She probably thought that she had lost, just like every other time she was pinned against Vanessa in any sort of conflict.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked, her voice a frightened whisper.

His eyes shot up to meet hers immediately, and he wanted to slap himself when he saw that tears had already welled up in her eyes. He felt his protective side overflow, and he reached out, pulling her against his chest in the tightest of hugs he could manage. He was shaking his head, and he could feel her flushed cheek pressed against the side of his head as he held her. When he spoke, he tried to keep his voice calm and reassuring, though he knew it was probably the farthest thing from either trait.

"I could never be mad at you," he murmered, pressing his lips to the side of her head a couple of times, trying to calm her down. "It's not you, Casey- it's really not. It's just... I feel like... I..."

"You love her," she finished for him quietly, her face still buried against his shoulder. When he didn't answer her, she pulled back enough to look into his eyes, while keeping her arms wrapped around his neck. For one brief moment, he worried that she was going to yell at him, so he was relieved when he saw the soft look in her eyes.

"Derek, I understand," she whispered, brushing one hand against his cheek softly. "You still love her. I wouldn't expect anything else, coming out of such a serious relationship."

"I love you more," he defended, shaking his head at her. It worried him that he was trying to convince himself, just as much as he was to her. When he saw that he was not making anything any better, he shook his head, turning his head away from her. His hands released her from him, and he found himself shutting down from her completely.

"I kissed her," he said, as though expecting this to change something between them. "Twice. Nothing serious, I promise. It was just... for closure. I feel like you should know."

Her eyes closed briefly, and he knew that it hurt her to hear that, but he was relieved and surprised when she nodded her head, confirming that it was okay.

"I can forgive that," she said, her voice strained, despite her words. "Just as long as you're sure it won't happen again."

He hesitated for a moment, surprised at how easily she was willing to accept what he had done. His eyes met with hers, and he cringed when he realized that she was waiting for some sort of a response- a promise, of sorts. He found himself shaking his head, turning away from her with what must have looked like hurt, from her perspective.

"Just go, okay?" he got out, trying not to sound angry. "I'm not mad at you, and you didn't do anything wrong. Just... leave me alone for a little while."

Her eyes immediately filled with pain, and he had to force himself to keep his eyes fixed on anywhere but her. He could feel her entire body tensing next to him, and he forced himself to stay strong. He knew that having her in the room right now had been a bad idea, and he would much rather talk to her when he knew he would not say anything overly hurtful.

"Derek, I... I really don't like this," she noted, her voice wavering as she spoke. When he didn't respond, her voice only grew more concerned. "This whole... freezing me out thing... it's not really working for me. I mean... I know you're hurting right now, and I know that talking to her must have been hard for you. But let me tell you, freezing me out isn't going to do you any good."

"Casey," he started, closing his eyes as he tried not to get angry. "Please. I know what I need, and right now- it's to be left alone."

"Derek," she tried, but he shook his head, shifting away from her slightly.

"Just do it, Casey."

She was silent for a moment, and her eyes were filled with pure concern as she tried to think of something to say. She was watching him with nervous eyes, and he knew exactly what was going through her mind. She was probably freaking out right about now, and she probably figured that he had changed his mind about being with her. He hadn't, of course, but he knew that he would have to reassure her of that.

Opening his eyes, he held a hand out to cup her cheek against his palm. He realized then that she had been shaking slightly, and he immediately felt horrible about himself. How had he gotten to a point where he was hurting two women, as opposed to just one? How had he ever gotten to be in such a confusing state of mind?

"I'm sorry for snapping at you," he apologized, brushing his thumb across her cheek as she kept her gaze away from his. Frowning, he gripped her face a little harder in his hand, trying to grab her attention.

"Look at me, please?" he asked, and though it was only the sadness in his voice that did it, she obeyed. Her beautiful sad eyes met with his in a glistening connection, and he was slightly relieved when he saw her soften under his gaze. She seemed to recognize that he was fixing her with a look that could only mean he loved her- for such a look could not exist, otherwise. Her features relaxed slightly, and she managed to watch him silently as he spoke up.

"I told you before, and I'll tell you again," he began, smiling faintly as he traced his thumb across her cheek. "Vanessa can't change anything between me and you. I'm upset right now, but I'll get over it."

She looked uncertain, and she reached up to place her hand over his against her cheek. Her fingers brushed against his knuckles gently, and she found herself fixing him with a sad sort of look, as though she felt bad that he had to suffer like this.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" she asked, raising an eyebrow doubtfully. "Is it too much?"

He gave a forced laugh, snorting as he turned his head away from her. He did not believe in his own laughter, and he knew that she would not buy it either. But nonetheless, he had tried, and it was the best he could do, at the moment.

"I'm Derek Venturi," he defended, shrugging his shoulders at her. "I'll bounce back eventually- you know me. Give me a few days and I'll be fine, right?"

She did not appear to be convinced, and her eyes were flickering back and forth between each of his, as though searching or some sign of uncertainty in them. He waited, holding his breath as he prayed for her to give up, and leave the room. All he wanted right now was to be left alone, so that he could deal with all of this by himself, like it should be. He should not have to burden Casey with problems such as these; it would be unfair of him to do that to her.

And for whatever reason, his expression convinced her, to some extent. He could tell that she still didn't believe a word of what he had just said, but she also seemed to sense that he truly needed this little bit of time to himself, to think about everything that had happened since he woke up.

"Right," she confirmed, sighing as she forced a smile. "You're brave- I know that. And I am so proud of you for taking things so well, baby."

Without another word, she leaned in and placed her lips upon his. Despite the fact that kissing her was only making things worse, he knew that he could do it for her own sake, so that she would not leave this room wondering why he had pushed her away. If only for her sake, he managed to wrap one arm around her waist, and kiss her back. He tried to pour as much emotion into it as was possible, to show her that he still cared about her- he still loved her to an unimagineable extreme. It relieved him when he realized that kissing her still brought him such incredible joy, and he found himself smiling when he pulled back, struggling for breath. She pressed her forehead against his, doing the same, and he kissed her lips once more, softly.

"_That's_ why I chose you," he told her, his own voice filled with more confidence now. "Because honestly? You're the only girl that can make my head spin like that after one tiny kiss. Vanessa could never do that to me, babe. You don't have to doubt what I feel for you- not at all. You're right for me in every measure of the world."

And that did it. The moment the words had spilled from his lips, her arms were around his neck, and she was pulling him up to her for one more kiss. He could feel her newfound reassurance practically radiating off of her, and her body was nowhere near as tense as he did before. Whatever way he had just phrased that statement had worked quite well to make her happy again, and he could feel her smiling against his lips as she kissed him. He knew that she was not doubting his love for her anymore, and really- that was all that mattered. His job was to keep Casey happy, and it did not matter to him if he was still confused to an annoying extreme. Casey was reassured, and he would find his own closure for Vanessa, in time.

- - - -

As Casey walked out of Derek's room five minutes later, she could not help but feel completely reassured in their relationship. She could admit that her faith in him had wavered slightly, when she had realized how much pain he was in over the loss of his former fiancee. The look in his eyes when she had walked back into the room had been something that she had never wanted to see him go through. His eyes, normally such a beautiful and dazzling shade of brown, had been dark and troubled, pain-filled and agonizing. And what's more is that he hadn't even been longing after _her. _No, his longing had been for another. His longing had been for Vanessa Williams.

She knew it should bother her, that he was still in love with his last girlfriend, but for some reason she felt like she could accept it. Yes, Derek was in love with someone else, but did that belittle what he felt for her? Vanessa had been a major part of his life for a very long time. Such a major part, that he had been willing to make her presence in his life a permanent thing. Yes, he had been pushed by Vanessa's family to make the proposal, but he _could_ have said no. No amount of pushing had forced him down onto one knee, and wrenched that proposal out of his mouth. _He _had gone to the jewellery store and picked out an engagement ring. It was _him_ who had asked her to marry him. Subconciously, some part of him had to wanted to marry her, or he never would have proposed. Despite how horrible Vanessa had been, some part of him had loved her enough to make that move, and she knew that this was something she was going to have to accept. You could not choose who you fell in love with, and she knew that better than anyone else.

But Derek had been willing to give up everything in one moment, and just for her. The love he felt for Vanessa had powered him to go out and spend thousands of dollars on some fancy ring for a girl he claimed to love. That same love had caused him to propose to the one he _thought _he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But it was his love for Casey that overpowered every last bit of that, and allowed him to feel something so much more stronger, so much more real. She did not doubt that he had loved Vanessa, but what was important here was that he had given everything else up so that he could love _her. _And honestly, how could she hold that against him? He was so willing to drop his entire life, and risk his entire reputation... just to come back to her, and make her happy. She wasn't famous, like Vanessa. She wasn't rolling in riches, or connected to all the hottest stars, like his ex had been. She was just Casey, and that was all she would ever be. But oddly enough, that seemed to be enough for Derek.

As she stepped off of the elevator, she found herself face to face with Vanessa, who had been waiting for the device to return to ground level. She was carrying a coffee, and had no doubt just returned from the cafteria. Casey could only assume that Vanessa was going to return to the main floor now, so that she could go home... by herself. She would go home to the apartment that she and Derek had probably shared quite a few memories in. Would she cry over her loss, tonight? Casey did not want to think about that, but she was pretty sure she knew the answer to that already.

The women stared at each other awkwardly, Casey with slight shock, Vanessa with much hesitance. One of them had to move eventually, and neither girl was sure of who it should be.

But finally, after about forty-five seconds of staring, Casey came to her senses. Her finger, which had been pressed against the button that controlled the door, remained in place as she stepped to the side. She held out a hand for Vanessa to step inside, and without another word, the other girl obeyed. She stepped inside the elevator awkwardly, standing off to the other side- as far away from Casey as she could get.

Casey pressed the button for the main floor, before taking a few steps backwards, finding herself outside the elevator.

"Thank you," she said, her eyes fixed on the woman inside the elevator. The doors began to close, and she gave Vanessa a quick nod, smiling. "For everything."

And the last thing she saw was a slightly surprised, but yet completely understanding smile in return.

* * *

**Would you guys totally kill me if I said that I had been... considering changing this to a not-so-happy or typical Dasey ending? There was actually an hour last night, where I contemplated giving Danessa the ending they should have had... making Casey do the right thing... blah blah blah. Yeah, you don't want to hear it. You're lucky I'm a Daseyer at heart. Comment and tell me what you think. Criticism is welcome, but no flames. **

**Reviews have been declining, friends. I will hostage the next chapter, so REVIEW!! **


	40. Never Let Her Fall

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Forty: Never Let Her Fall**

Casey was a complete and total wreck, by the time Derek was released from the hospital a week later. She had spent the past nine days since he had woken up rushing around, getting him whatever he pleased. She was sure that he had probably realized this, and knew that he would've taken advantage of her offer to act as his slave, but she didn't care. Anything he wanted, he had. Nine days ago, she had thought that she would never see his amazing eyes looking into hers again. She had thought that she would never hear Derek's beautiful voice whispering against her ear, or calling out to her. Those few days in which he'd been hovering between life and death had been absolute hell for Casey. She was pretty sure that she had never gone through anything worse than this, but she knew that the only benefit of this was that she would never take Derek for granted ever again. It hurt too much, to think that he had passed away with so much left unresolved between the two of them.

He had gotten better and better every single day. He was still wrapped up in a few bandages, and he couldn't walk yet. His skin was bruised and was littered with cuts- some more severe than others, but he was alive, he was going to be okay. Physical damage meant nothing, so long as he was still here with her. As long as he was concious, and she could see him smiling, she was somewhat satisfied. The rest would heal, in time, and she knew that she'd be there for him throughout every bit of that period. She wouldn't leave his side once, for as long as he needed her help getting around. She had no intentions on going back to work anytime soon; Derek needed her assistance, and she knew that he had the money to keep them going. She vowed that she would go back to work as soon as he was better, because she sure as hell wasn't letting him do all of the supporting for the both of them. This was a new millenium, dammit, and girls were just as powerful and important to the workforce as men were.

At least, that had been her argument, when Derek had insisted that he had enough money that she didn't have to work at all. He was trying to convince her to quit her job, and let him pay her way through med school, like she'd always dreamed of doing, but she hadn't budged on that one. She always felt inferior to Derek as it was; she didn't need him paying for her education, and supporting their family while she went to school. She figured it would be unfair to him, and it would tip the balance between them just a bit too much, but they both knew how tempted she was, and they both understood that it was only a matter of time before she gave in.

On the day he had been released from the hospital, she had helped Derek upstairs to his apartment, thanking the heavens that there was an elevator. He was going to be in a wheelchair for a little while, because there was no way he could walk. His ankle was severely broken, and his right hand was too swollen with the bandages to even attempt using crutches. He had protesed the wheelchair, claiming that he would find a way to get around, but eventually, he had given in, and allowed them to issue him a wheelchair. He wasn't pleased, but he seemed to understand that it was for his own good.

Casey was standing in front of his apartment door, digging in her jacket pocket for the set of keys that she had found, in the jeans that he had been wearing on the day of the accident. She had tossed them into her pocket along with her cellphone, and her own keys, and it was hell finding them now. They seemed to be tangled with her own keys, somewhere around the far bottom corner.

Derek, always one to pick a fight with her if he could do so innocently, smirked up at her, tapping his uninjured foot against the floor in mock impatience.

"I know you're a bit slow, but I thought even you could find a set of keys, Case," he pointed out, his voice amused, and teasing.

She scowled as she grasped the keys in her hand, and rolled her eyes, slipping the key into the lock. They listened for the click, that signalled the door was unlocked, and she stowed the keys back in her pocket, shaking her head.

"Be quiet," she instructed him, reaching for the doorknob. "I'm trying to help you out here, so stop being a tool and behave yourself."

He merely rolled his eyes as she opened the door, and propped it open with her foot as she reached around to guide Derek's wheelchair in through the door.

He wasn't even safely over the threshold by the time Justin caught sight of him, and the next thing that could be seen was an overexcited six year old bounding towards his father, an excited grin on his face.

"Daddy!"

Justin practically threw himself towards his father, and as Derek's eyes widened in anticipation of the pain, Casey reached out, putting a hand out to stop her son from attacking Derek. She saw the relief, and the grateful look her boyfriend shot her, and she forced back a smile, trying not to look too amused by her son's reaction to his father.

Kneeling down in front of Justin, she shook her head, gripping each of his shoulders gently as he looked on, grinning mischeviously in the aftermath of being caught.

"What did I tell you about playing nice with Daddy?" she asked, reminding him of the conversation they had had only a few days before. "He's pretty sore right now, okay? You've gotta be gentle with him. I know you're really happy that he's back, but don't play so rough, alright?"

Justin pouted, clearly not all that accepting of the concept of "playing nice", but nonetheless, the moment Casey released his shoulders, he was turning to his father with a hesitant look on his features. He seemed uncertain as to what he was allowed to do, if his father was in such rough shape, and Derek sensed this. He knew that Justin must be prety confused about what sort of actions were acceptable, especially since he couldn't really ask his mother questions.

Sensing his son's confusion, Derek leaned forwards in his wheelchair, resting his elbows against the tops of his legs, and extending his fist to Justin. He grinned at the six year old, nodding towards the extended arm.

"How you doing, buddy?" he asked, and Justin caught on then. A smirk much like his father's crept onto his lips, and he laughed as he took a step forwards, bumping his smaller fist against Derek's. They both knew that Justin loved high fives, and secret handshakes, and the casual fist bump was high up there on his list too. He thought it was the coolest thing ever, and Derek had to admit that it was good to see the grin on his son's face. As calm as he had appeared when he had been up on those beams, he had been terrified that he may never see Justin smile again, if he was too late.

But that hadn't happened, and Derek merely smiled as he pulled his son into the best hug possible, given the wheelchair that got in the way. Justin was almost as tall as him at the moment, and it was easy for the boy to wrap his tiny arms around his father's neck, returning the hug gratefully. Derek's arms held Justin a little more tighter than usual, and he felt himself struggling to keep himself calm as he looked up at Casey, who was still kneeled down next to the wheelchair. She was clearly proud of the progress Justin and Derek had made since their very first meeting, and he smiled at her, clutching Justin tighter to his body.

"Thank you," he whispered, both to her, and to whoever had decided he was worthy enough to receive such a good fortune. He must have done something pretty darn good in a previous life, to be blessed with a woman like Casey, and a son like Justin. He sure as hell knew that he hadn't done anything that great in this lifetime, aside from saving Justin. Someone must have decided he was worthy of this lifestyle though, and whoever was in charge of that type of stuff, he'd love to thank. They had given him the two best things he could ever ask for in his life. His girlfriend, and his son. And a second chance at life, sure, but he rather felt that this came in second, to those two. They were more important to him than his own life, hands down.

When Justin pulled away, Derek kept on grinning as he reached out to ruffle his son's hair. The boy laughed as the brown strands flopped down in front of his eyes, and within a moment, he had skipped off towards the couch again, where his uncle was sitting. Edwin's eyes were already glued to the hockey game that was playing on television, and he had shown no interest in them yet. Justin had obviously been occupying himself with his colouring book, which he immediately returned to as Edwin muttered a quick hello to the two of them. He didn't even look away from the screen, and Casey rolled her eyes, informing the two of them that they would be right back. She used the excuse that they had to put Derek's things away, but in reality- she just wanted a moment alone with him.

When she wheeled them into Derek's bedroom- which was really her bedroom now too, she closed the door behind them, sighing as she unhooked Derek's bag from the handle of his wheelchair. She made sure his chair was stable, before crossing the room, and placing the suitcase down next to his bed. Without another word, she had taken a seat on the edge of his bed, and was nodding for him to come closer. A smirk settled across his features as he wheeled himself easily towards the bed, stopping when the wheels bumped gently against quilt. He used every bit of strength he had to press his hands against the armrests of the chair, and within a moment he had pushed himself up. Casey took his hands as soon as he was standing, and she helped him down onto the bed, smiling when he kept their hands entwined, his fingers locked with hers as best as possible, considering his right hand was swollen and bandaged.

He brought her right hand closer to his face, and pressed his lips gently against the back of her hand. His eyes were locked against hers as he smiled, running his thumb across her wrist delicately, as though she were breakable, to him. He was smiling at her, and she couldn't make any sense of the action. She hadn't even said anything to him, and yet he was acting as though she'd just announced he'd won the lottery, or something. She knew she shouldn't question her good fortune, but she couldn't help sighing, and raising an eyebrow at him.

"Can I ask what you're so happy about?" she questioned, genuine curiousity in her voice. "You haven't stopped smiling since you stepped foot into the room."

"Interesting choice of words, Case," he said, with a nod of the head towards the wheelchair, and she rolled her eyes, ignoring his raised eyebrows.

"You know what I meant," she complained, shaking her head at him. "Stop being saucy, and answer the question. Why are you so happy?"

Sighing, Derek knew that there was no avoiding the question, and he shrugged his shoulders, the faintest sign of a blush forming against his cheeks.

"I'm with you, aren't I?" he asked, and she was thankful that she was sitting down, for her legs went weak when he flashed that smile at her. "I mean, what's better than this? My first day out of the hospital, and I get to be here with my girl. My son's home safe and sound, the media have finally stopped harassing us... life's great." There was a pause, before he smirked, probably finding this all too serious. "Now, if you were to throw a couple of burgers on the barbeque, I'd be even happier, but you know..."

She laughed, shaking her head as she swatted playfully at his shoulder, her other hand still clasped in his.

"Nice try, loser," she said, watching as he pouted, trying to make her give in. She shook her head, grinning. "Nope. So not happening. Justin already asked for McDonald's for supper, and you know how whiny he can get when he doesn't have his way. He spent most of the morning throwing a fit everytime a McDonald's commercial came on. That boy wants McDonald's, and be sure as hell he won't rest until he gets it."

She paused, hesitance flickering across her features.

"Neither will I, for that matter," she added, and he grinned, shrugging his shoulders as though he was not phased by this.

"McDonald's it is," he declared, settling the matter. "Get me a McChicken, would you? Easy on the lettuce, extra sauce. Oh, and upsize the fries too. I'm pretty hungry."

She rolled her eyes, turning her head away to hide her amused smile.

"Yes master," she mocked, and he smirked at her, raising his eyebrows.

"Kinky," he decided, placing one hand against her thigh suggestively. When she shook her head, he sighed and carried on. "Fine, whatever. Just get me my food, would you?"

She sighed, shaking her head as she linked one of her hands with his again.

"You're a very difficult man, you know that?"

His only reply was a very self-confident smirk, followed immediately by the raising of his eyebrows. He leaned forwards suggestively, a dazed look in his eyes as he moved closer towards her lips.

"I may be a difficult man, but I'm _your_ man," he murmered, his lips hovering right over hers now. "And you better plan on keeping it that way, missy."

She smirked in response, tangling her hands through his messy brown hair happily. Her fingernails brushed against his scalp in almost a teasing manner, and he shuddered slightly as she touched her lips against his for less than a second. She didn't even give him the chance to kiss back, before she had pulled back to observe his handsome features.

"You know you're my only man," she assured him, the slightest trace of a smile touching her lips. "Always have been... always will be. And I'm your only woman, right?"

Derek's mind flickered for the tiniest of moments to Vanessa, who he had not spoken to since that day in the hospital. He would have to face her once he went back to work, but there seemed to be an unspoken agreement between them that they would give each other space, and allow each other the chance to move on. Not seeing her had done alot to ease his pain, and he had been able to devote his full attention to his girlfriend over the past nine days, something that Casey was clearly relieved about. Being around Casey had done alot for him, and he was already beginning to see just why he had made this choice. Every moment he spent with her gave him more and more reason to be thankful that _this_ was his future. There were moments when he still missed Vanessa, but they were growing less and less frequent as time went on. He had honestly not expected to get a move on with his closure this quickly, but he supposed feeling so much pain on that first day had given him a head start, in the recovery process.

He was moving on; he was getting over it. And because he had so much faith in his feelings for Casey, he was able to nod at her now, with full confidence.

"Right," he said, pleased at the lack of doubt in his voice. "You're my only girl. The only one I'll ever need."

- - - -

Four years had passed quite easily, and there were days when Casey had to question where the time had gone. She had been so busy with taking care of her son, and planning her wedding, that she had barely noticed just how long she and Derek had been together for.

They had gotten married a year after the accident. Derek had made a full recovery by that time, and he had proposed to her on Christmas Eve of that year. It had not been a surprise to anyone that he had picked out the most gorgeous of engagement rings for Casey, and it was definitely not a surprise that she immediately agreed to marry him. The proposal had taken place at a Christmas Eve party that their parents had thrown back in London, and everyone had been there to witness the happy moment. Anyone who had been there that night seemed to recall the overjoyed grins on both of their faces that night, and the way that they had disapeared for an hour or two into one of the upstairs bedrooms. Nobody had bothered to ask what they had been doing, but had merely congratulated them when they returned downstairs to the party.

They had been married that summer, three days after their official one year anniversary. It had been quite a small wedding, and they had limited the guest list to family, and close friends. Vanessa had been included on that guest list, and for whatever reason, she had actually shown up. Casey had been worried at first, and had wondered if Vanessa would do anything to sabotage the wedding, like Casey had to hers. But thankfully, she had sat through the wedding peacefully, and she had even been nice enough to congratulate both the bride and groom on their wedding. It must have been hard for Vanessa to sit through the wedding of the man she loved, but it was obvious to anyone who had been in that church that Derek had never been happier. He had been unable to keep his eyes off of the bride on that day, and he had not stopped smiling until days after the wedding was over. It was quite clear that being Casey's husband was the most amazing thing in the world to him, and no one wanted to chance taking that away from him.

The next three years had been absolute bliss for them, and it was obvious that the whole "new couple" glow would never quite wear off for them. They kept the magic alive in every kiss, and in every smile, and that was their own little way of keeping their love alive for good.

On that particular hot day in the middle of July, Casey was sitting on their bed, flipping through a book of baby name's. Her hand was resting subconciously over her very pregnant belly, where her very first daughter was growing everyday. She was six and a half months pregnant, and she was determined to have a name picked out by the next time she went for a checkup to the doctors. Derek told her that she was ridiculous, and that they didn't have to rush anything, but she claimed that was wanted to have a name picked out very soon. And if there was one thing Derek had learned over the years, it was not to upset Casey, especially when she was overly hormonal.

She was just reaidng through the list of names that began with N, when she felt strong arms wrap around her waist from behind. She let out a little squeal, but relaxed when she felt Derek's lips press against the side of her neck. She found herself grinning as he rested his chin on her shoulder, his arms still holding her securely against him.

"How's my girl?" he questioned, still grinning as he rested on his knees behind her. "Still obsessing over baby names?"

She rolled her eyes, pulling out of his hold so that he was forced to let go, and bounce into place on the bed beside her. He wrapped an arm around her waist instead, and cradled her to his side as he glanced down at the book in her hands.

"Yep," he observed, laughing gently. "Still obsessing."

"It's not obsessing," she defended, shaking her head as she stuck out her lower lip in a pout. "Am I that terrible of a parent, to want to give my baby a good name?"

He sensed a tear-storm coming up, and the last thing he needed was a crying Casey. He had found her in the kitchen the night before, crying because he had eaten the last of the Animal Crackers. For this, he had received an hour long lecture about respecting your spouse, and he had found himself lying on the couch an hour later, tossing and turning without the affection of a good woman. To be quite honest, he really didn't want to spend another night on the couch without his girl, and agreeing with her was the only way to get out of that one.

Sighing, he prepared to put his feelings for her ahead of his dignity once more, and kissed the side of her head gently. This seemed to work slightly, for she relaxed against his side again, and tilted her head towards him to watch him with saddened eyes.

"I just want the baby to have a good name, tha'ts all."

Derek refrained from rolling his eyes at how sooky she could get when she was pregnant, and he nodded his head, kissing her cheek gently.

"I know," he said, running a hand through her hair soothingly behind her. "And I'm sure our daughter will have the best name in the world with you on the case."

He had meant it as a compliment, but he was alarmed when she frowned slightly, and narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

"Was that supposed to be a compliment, or a cleverly disguised insult?" she asked him, her head still tilted to the side enough to see him. "Because if it was an insult, I swear to God I'll-"

"First one!" he cried, squeezing his eyes shut in hopes that she would be quiet. "Definitely the first one. My _God_ woman, were you _this _hormonal during your first pregnancy?"

Her face immediately settled into a look of pure anger, and he knew that he had a very bad sense of word choice. The last thing he needed was Casey going off on a tirade about how men should respect women during their pregnancies, and how he hadn't even had the decency to be around and help her out when she was pregnant with their son. He had already received this lecture twice, after being stupid enough to set off her very edgy hormones. He always managed to calm her down before she got too out of hand, but he didn't want to chance anything that might set her stress levels too high. The last thing he needed was getting her so worked up that it could hurt the baby, or herself.

"Just forget it," he sighed, running his free hand through his hair. "You're probably right- I'm being insensitive. But let's talk about something else, okay?"

She looked reluctant, but she must have sensed his desire to move on, for she nodded her head in agreement with him.

"Something else," she confirmed, sighing as she placed her free hand over her enlarged belly. "Right. What do you want to talk about?"

Derek used his grip on her waist to pull her back against the pillows, so that they were both lying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling. He kept his arm wrapped around her as he blew hair away from his eyes, in an attempt to beat the extreme heat of the hot July day. Casey herself had to raise her hand up to her forehead, and whisk her sidebang off to one side, to cool herself down a little bit. Rather than respond to her question, he kissed the back of her hand with his free one, and pulled her so that she was snuggled up against his side. He quickly released her hand, and rested his own palm against the bump of her belly, where their unborn daughter was currently developing.

"It's so amazing," he murmered, closing his eyes as he waited patiently to feel something, anything at all beneath his hand. "In just two and a half months, she'll be here with us, and we'll have our own daughter to take care of. I've never been so excited for something in my life. I can't believe you're handling this so calmly."

Casey laughed gently, the vibrations of it moving against his hand as his hand rested on the bump of her stomach. She raised her hand to her stomach to hold it over his own hand, and she smiled at the ceiling as her eyes fluttered closed with comfort. She was wrapped in a completely calm essence, something that only Derek could to to her.

"You're forgetting that I've gone through this whole pregnancy thing before," she reminded him, running her thumb across the back of his hand gently. "None of this is new to me. I mean, don't get me wrong; I'm excited about being a mother again. But it's sort of tamer, the second time around."

"Tame?" he questioned, a puzzled expression on his face. "_You_?"

She raised an eyebrow, and he shook his head at her quickly, not wanting to set her off on another one of her tirades.

"Never mind," he dismissed, sighing. "Point is, this whole... baby thing... it's new to me. I've never really had to deal with... y'know... handling a newborn before."

Casey frowned, turning her head against the pillow so that she could look at him. His eyes were filled with slight worry, and a need for reassurance. She had never really discussed this with Derek before, but she was beginning to wonder if maybe he was actually nervous about the birth of their new daughter. She could remember the few months before Justin had been born, and how nervous she had been then. She had been eighteen, and scared out of her mind about what was coming for her. She had worried about whether or not she would make a good mother, about if she would be able to keep up with her new busy schedule... her list had been endless, and pathetically irrational. And she knew, after four years of watching Derek with Justin, that he would do just fine as a father.

Her hand was still resting on his on her stomach, and she quickly squeezed it as lightly as possible, smiling at her husband.

"You'll make an amazing father, Derek," she whispered, already proud of him for the way he handled his son. "If you can drop everything and start raising a six year old boy with autism halfway through your life, I'm pretty sure that you'll be able to handle a newborn baby girl."

Derek seemed to relax slightly, and he raised his gaze back up to the ceiling again. He was silent as he thought, but her eyes remained on him as she waited for him to come to the conclusion that she had already come to months before. From the moment she had found out she was pregnant, there had been one question on her mind, but Derek hadn't brought anything up to her about it just yet. She was beginning to wonder if the issue really hadn't crossed his mind yet.

But then, just as she was beginning to give up doubt on him, he surprised her. He had a difficult way of doing that, and this time was no different than the others.

She watched as his eyes widened with realization, and he turned to her with a look of dread and shock on his face, as though he couldn't believe he had been so stupid as to forget.

"Casey, what if... what if our daughter..."

"-has autism?" she finished, with one eyebrow raised. He nodded, surprised that she had understood, and she merely smiled at him as she shook her head.

"If she does, we'll deal," she assured him, shrugging her shoulders. "It's not like we've never gone through it before, and I'll know what to look for this time. There's signs that I missed with Justin, but I won't make the same mistake this time. If she's autistic too... we'll get intervention started early. It's not like she won't still be our daughter. I mean... look what we got the first time around, right?"

Derek's eyes softened, and he smiled at the mention of his ten year old son, who had been battling autism for years now. If you were to look at Justin and call him autistic, some people might not even believe you, at this stage. Derek had not been lying when he said he could afford the best treatments possible, and he had been extremely serious about seeking out said treatments. From the moment he had been around fulltime, he began making changes in Justin's life. His presence alone had brought alot of change in the little boy, but with extensive speech therapy, and top of the line professionals, Justin had come a very long way. He still received some special accomodations in school, but his mother's dream had come true the day he'd been moved into a regular classroom, permanently.

He still had his issues, of course. If Casey or Derek tried to rearrange the furniture in the house, he'd go mad at them for changing the order of things. The smallest of changes had to be cleared with him first, because he was very bad with adapting to changes. He had a tendency of forgetting words, and getting frustrated when he could not get them out properly. He had to take his medication regularily, and he still had to attend his therapy to ensure that he was on the right track. He had his off days, and there were times when he could be more difficult than others, but in the long run, he was just a regular ten year old boy. His communication levels were somewhere close to normal by now, and if you were to say he was the same boy as he had been four years ago... well, nobody would believe you.

"Yeah," Casey heard Derek say, finally breaking the silence between them. "I guess we lucked out the first time, huh? And... if our daughter... if she ends up with autism too... we'll work something out. I mean, there's probably a higher risk of diagnosis with her, but we'll love her all the same. She'll still be our little girl."

His hand pressed against her stomach a little harder, and she smiled to herself as she closed her hand over his a little tighter.

"Yeah," she murmered, closing her eyes again. "Our little girl. Sounds perfect."

And she knew then- no matter what happened in the world, it would all be okay. Because no matter what happened, and no matter what went wrong, she would always have Derek, and their children. Family was the most amazing thing to cherish, and she was lucky enough to have the world's most amazing family. And they would never let her fall.

* * *

**So that's the end, folks. I was supposed to have one more chapter, but I cut it and combined it into this one. I hope you enjoyed the story. **

**On a less than cheerful note, I am considering taking a break from writing for awhile. Nothing certain yet, I am just feeling like I'm not expressing myself as well as I could be. It could be just a block- I could be back in days. I don't know. We'll see what happens- there's alot going on. **

**Do me the honour of reviewing one last time, please! Thank you to those of you who stuck with me to the end!**


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